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akka naeda
July 2nd, 2011, 10:28 AM
(Firstly apologies for the length)
My DD is 13 and has waist length hair which is1a,M,ii. She is very much a tomboy and doesn't care how she looks and finds washing her hair a PITA - it's stopping her reading, making things, doing her poi spinning etc. She's always wanted to wear my green hair toys though because green is her favourite colour so she doesn't like having her hair trimmed because she loses some length (plus of course, time spent trimming hair could be better utilized in reading, poi spinning etc!).

Last week we went morris dancing and there was a lady there with a long plait who compared her hair with mine and was pleased to discover that after a year our plaits are now almost the same length. She then asked DD how long her hair was and jokingly said "So are you going to grow it as long as your mum's?" And the response was....

Yes.

To say this surprised me was rather an understatement!

So how do I get DD to wear her hair up? She wears it in a plait down her back every day. It's just long enough given the thickness to fit into a cinnabun and fig 8 when plaited but she says it's uncomfortable. Twist bunning isn't really an option because, firstly it might come out and then her hair would get in a mess, secondly, you guessed it, practising hair-dos will prevent her from doing the things she wants to do, plus it is the kind of thing girly girls do along with obsessing about clothes, makeup and shoes. She understands the concept of wearing your hair up to stop it being damaged, it seems to be just that updos are uncomfortable. I did get her to wear it folded in a slide for a short period but she doesn't seem to like that either. There is also no way I would be allowed to do her hair for her. That's for little kids.

Xandergrammy
July 2nd, 2011, 10:40 AM
Can you use the green hairtoys as an enticement for her to learn a quick and easy updo? Other than that, could she just wear her usual braid and see how much damage her hair incurs whilst growing? Does the braid get in her way at all?

skraprchik
July 2nd, 2011, 12:21 PM
I think I would just let her wear her braid for now. I'm sure she is interested in growing it to longer lengths but right now as a 13-year old she's probably not ready for putting much effort in. She knows what it takes because she sees what you do and as time progresses and she matures, she will be more open to the idea of trying different options for her hair.

ouseljay
July 2nd, 2011, 12:33 PM
She sounds like me as a kid, my mother despaired!

What about finding a way to put the braid in one loop? That way the ends are more protected, but it's still not all that girly or hard to do. Whatever you do, don't push, and don't act surprised or shocked if/when she does start paying more attention to her hair, it might well put her off.

jacqueline101
July 2nd, 2011, 12:37 PM
I would try braiding it and see if she wouldnt let you put the braid in an up hair style and use like another lady suggested extra green hair toys.

Roseate
July 2nd, 2011, 01:03 PM
So how do I get DD to wear her hair up?

I wouldn't worry about it, unless the plait is getting in her way with the poi spinning or something.

If she really wants to grow her hair to a longer length than she can achieve with daily plaiting, revisit the issue once damage becomes a problem.

OTOH, she may just not care about damage. Her desire to not wear updos may be stronger than her desire for 60" hair: if you haven't heard about her growing goal before, it may be a new idea rather than a real conviction. Time will tell! Keep offering her advice if she wants it, back off if she's not interested.

Ermine
July 2nd, 2011, 01:28 PM
Kinda reminds me of me when I was her age. I had BSL hair, longest it's been in my life, and really didn't take care of it much because there are so many other "better" things to do and I didn't want to be like "them" (the girly girls). I wouldn't let anyone style my hair... I'd let her be just so long as the braid isn't getting in her way or her ends aren't looking too damaged.

LeaM07
July 2nd, 2011, 01:38 PM
Is a Chinese bun (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=15) (braided or not, either way) or pinless braided bun (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=71774) a possibility, maybe? Since they're not supported by scalp hair like a cinnabun or fig-8 usually is, maybe they'd be more comfortable? They're also pretty easy and not too "fussy", if she's comfortable with braiding. :)

Madora
July 2nd, 2011, 01:43 PM
Offering the hair toys is a good incentive. Keep reminding her that you achieved your goal by doing good things for your hair.

Re: the cinnabun. I bet it feels uncomfortable because it is a mass on the back of the head held in place by implements that hurt or scrape..or just don't feel hair friendly.

You can still create updos...just separate that cinnabun into two sections. Take one section, twist it CLOCKWISE, then coil it, pinning with hairpins in the 4 directions. Take the remaining hair, twist it counterclockwise, and pin it around the bun you already made. The weight is evenly distributed and is easier and more comfortable to wear.

Lastly, you might suggest (or do it on your own hair), a pretty scarf to braid the hair with, instead of the regular 3 section braid. At least the scarf braid will protect some of that braid. Also, I'd be careful about the last 4 inches of hair in that braid (the tassle). Those end hairs are extra fragile and should be left unbraided. Tie off the braid with a hair friendly elastic.

akka naeda
July 5th, 2011, 09:29 AM
OK, thanks. I think I'll just leave it for the time being.
I've known for some time she wants long hair so she can wear my green hair toys, I just wasn't aware that she was intending to grow it quite so long! Sadly the only one that's small enough for her to wear is a green Aquapearl Ketylo, everything else is too big.

The main problem really with her having her hair in a plait is that she only plaits it once a day when she gets up in the morning and by the time she comes home from school it looks like a bottle brush.
Her school uniform jumper is acrylic so her hair is also full of static. We have the same problem at home because she wears fleeces if she feels cold, they cause masses of static too. The only visible damage seems to be at the nape of her neck and I think that's due to the way she brushes her hair - she uses a BBB straight away rather than combing it first because she has no time and will be late for school.:rolleyes:

ccmso12
July 5th, 2011, 09:39 AM
Ha, our daughters should meet!

Mines 10 and has WL hair . . .ponytail only and an occ braid if I can talk her into it. she rides horses 4-5 hours a day and has a helmet on . . .when the helmets off you can usually pick handfulls of hay out of her hair LOL.

Shes a pro-child rider and competes A-circuit hunters. Its all fine and dandy this year because she can still wear the 'kid style' under her helmet of 2 long "piggy" braids with big bows on the end . . .but how am I going to cram that hair under her helmet next year when it all has to be hidden?????

AshNight1214
July 5th, 2011, 09:48 AM
You could have her try a vortex. I find that it's most comfortable for me (I think I overuse the style a bit because of that!). There are also some nice braid-based styles that eat up length and keep the hair protected. :)