I think I was a difficult customer today

[Alvrodul]

I was to the hairdresser for a trim today. Usually I do microtrims on myself, but I decided to go to a professional today - it was about a year since I have done that. It wouldn't surprise me if I am much discussed in their lunch break today. :bigtongue:
During the washing, the hairdresser asked if I used color in my hair, and I told her that I use henna - she had evidently noticed my very fiery not-yet-oxidized roots, and was a bit curious about where I bought it.
When the washing was finished, the troubles began. :p The hairdresser brought out a brush, and started detangling from the top - I immediately told her to stop, dived into my handbag for my favorite detangler, which I had brought along, just in case it was needed - and asked her to use that, and to detangle properly, starting at the bottom and working her way upwards. She said the brush was a special brush for long hair (to me it looked like a quite ordinary paddle brush, with plastic spines with little knobs at the ends :suspect:) and did not seem to think it was possible to detangle hair with a comb :crazyq:, but she said I could detangle with my comb myself - so I did.
The cutting went fine - the hairdresser had suggested taking off about 5 cm, I asked for 2 cm, and got 3 cm, which was about what I had intended in the first place. :gabigrin:
Then it was time to dry my hair. I told the hairdresser that since heat and henna is not a good combination, she should not use any heat on my hair. So the blowfryer was used with the heat turned completely off. :)
I detangled myself again after my hair was dry, and then put my hair up into a nice rose bun - I sort of hope the stylists were watching, so they could see just how fast and easy it is to get hair up into a pretty updo. ;)

Stylists - you just gotta know how to manage them! :whip: ;)

[vanity_acefake]

Good for you.
I hope some lessons were learned today by the salon stylists.
:)

[Djinmonet]

Your description didn't sound at all like a difficult customer to me. Or perhaps the stylist I patronized for many years back home was a very tolerant woman. :hmm:
In any case, I have never understood why anyone would try to de-tangle hair, starting from the top. Have they never encountered a snarl of power cords, ropes, or threads?

[Vani1902]

Good. :) lol You pay them to provide a service and they should do their best to fulfill your wishes. Too many stylists like to push their opinions on costumers, which is not their job.

[Princess89]

Good job! I don't think you were at all difficult and you walked out with exactly what you wanted, can't be any happier than that.

[CastaDiva]

Good for you:) I`m so glad you took charge and told the hairdresser how you wanted her to treat your long hair:) Nice trick, to ask for a 2 cm cut when 3 cm was what you wanted:D

[caiti42]

Great story :)

[Hypnotica]

Were is the problem with henna and heat??

[missoj]

If how about you wash you hair at home, gone to the hairdresser to trim the ends and go home to style your hair? Basically the same thing cause you done everything else and it would have cost you less. My neighbour is a hair dresser and that's what I used to do by her before I started doing micro-trims myself. Also I didn't like the products used on my hair. So its a win-win.

[CarpeDM]

WOW good for you, I wish I was that brave. I had a trim two days ago and the experience was not as good as yours. I think my hairdresser hates my hair. She took a brush out after trying to rip through my hair with a comb. I was mortified but I just went with it because I already feel like I am a *beep* in the *beep* when I see her... First I don't want them to wash my hair which makes everyone look at me like I am crazy. Since I have a sensitive head, super tangly hair and use CV shampoo bars it is just too much of a hassle for me to have someone wash my hair. So I basically wash my hair before I leave the house and arrive with wet hair at the salon. This is when I start getting looks from the stylists. Second, I was the only one at the salon who had their natural color which made me feel even more like an alien life form. Third, I was the only one with longer hair there. And fourth I never want a blow dry. So when she started brushing my wet tangly hair I just started thinking how I really hate going to the salon and I sooo need to learn how to cut my own hair. I wanted to tell her to stop but I just couldn't....ugh

Wouldn't it be great if we had an LHC approved stylist regional listing?

[JuliaDancer]

You don't sound like a difficult customer at all! If you yelled at them, said they were doing everything all wrong, don't know what they're doing, etc., that would be a difficult customer. It seems like you just made things easier for her by doing the parts you wanted done in a particular way yourself.

[littlenvy]

Were is the problem with henna and heat??
Very high heat may to turn henna hair much darker.

Alvrodul, I think you did just fine. :) Not many hair stylists are used to such long hair, unless they are cutting it off.

[Firefly]

Kudos to you, Alvrodul. I hope you educated some stylists on proper long hair care!

[homeeduk8tor]

I think you did a fantastic job. Just imagine how horribly you would have felt if you had let the stylist proceed with abusing your hair. You would have regretted that much more than merely requesting she do things according to your wishes.

[Elysium]

You don't sound difficult at all! Good for you for taking charge! :D

Last time I went to a hairdresser I refused to let her wash my hair since I'd already washed it that morning. She asked me if I'd "washed it properly", which to her meant shampooing twice and not using conditioner. I looked at her like she had two heads :p

[skraprchik]

It doesn't sound like you were difficult at all. I go to the salon with my hair completely ready for a trim (no cutting on wet hair for me as I'm curly). Then I watch the stylist like a hawk. Luckily the lady that I go to knows that I'm trying to grow my hair and will trim even less than I think I need if she doesn't agree that it needs to go.

[Tressie]

You were obviously prepared to stand up for yourself and it paid off! I salute your courage and I am glad you took control of the situation for the sake of your lovely hair, and your peace of mind! It must have been a novel and instructive experience for the whole salon!

Good job! :blossom:

[hyettf16]

WOW good for you, I wish I was that brave. I had a trim two days ago and the experience was not as good as yours. I think my hairdresser hates my hair. She took a brush out after trying to rip through my hair with a comb. I was mortified but I just went with it because I already feel like I am a *beep* in the *beep* when I see her... First I don't want them to wash my hair which makes everyone look at me like I am crazy. Since I have a sensitive head, super tangly hair and use CV shampoo bars it is just too much of a hassle for me to have someone wash my hair. So I basically wash my hair before I leave the house and arrive with wet hair at the salon. This is when I start getting looks from the stylists. Second, I was the only one at the salon who had their natural color which made me feel even more like an alien life form. Third, I was the only one with longer hair there. And fourth I never want a blow dry. So when she started brushing my wet tangly hair I just started thinking how I really hate going to the salon and I sooo need to learn how to cut my own hair. I wanted to tell her to stop but I just couldn't....ugh

Wouldn't it be great if we had an LHC approved stylist regional listing?

Why do you have to feel like you're bothering them by PAYING to have your hair RUINED? You are trusting someone else with your head; you should be very able to tell them what to do with it. And just because everyone else isn't confident enough to have their natural color, it shouldn't make you feel bad. ;)

I wonder if hair dresseres see a pretty girl with long hair walk in and screw up your hair because they are jealous. It's almost like they speak a different language to us. I always picture them thinking "This girl doesn't know a thing about hair so I will just do what I want to it"

I haven't been to a hair cut/salon in 6 years (since it was up to me, I was 11). When I was little I always thought that they should pay ME to take my precious hair. :P

[kidari]

Good for you! You're paying them money and you really should not let them ruin years of growing your hair out and all of your care to keep it healthy. I haven't been in a salon for almost 2 years and I'm totally scared of them yanking a brush through my wet hair and cutting too much or layering too much and then using a blow dryer and curling iron afterwards and baking tons of styling products into it. But I do miss a professional cut- I can't see the back of my own head when I cut my hair and Feye's method doesn't give me a crisp clean edge on the hemline.

[jojo]

Glad i am not the only one! and good for you, a brush indeed honestly!

[UltraBella]

I wonder if hair dresseres see a pretty girl with long hair walk in and screw up your hair because they are jealous.


I highly doubt it. I think many hairdressers actually find long hair to be fairly boring, I don't think the majority are envious of it. And they have "pretty girls" as clients daily, so that's nothing new.

A stylist who is professional will not mind any request you make with your hair and will accommodate you accordingly. It's never inappropriate to stop a stylist and ask them to do something differently if it fits your needs. Most would prefer you did instead of sitting and suffering in silence.

[Hypnotica]

Very high heat may to turn henna hair much darker.

Alvrodul, I think you did just fine. :) Not many hair stylists are used to such long hair, unless they are cutting it off.

Somehow I doubt that oxidized henna would go really dark just by adding heat. I shower in very hot water and I have yet to see my henna going ultra dark from it?

Hm. Nightshade, you have done extensive research on henna - what is you input?

[Hypnotica]

Glad i am not the only one! and good for you, a brush indeed honestly!

Tangle Teaser is a brush so......not all brushes are bad on wet hair. YMMV.

[Nightshade]

Somehow I doubt that oxidized henna would go really dark just by adding heat. I shower in very hot water and I have yet to see my henna going ultra dark from it?

Hm. Nightshade, you have done extensive research on henna - what is you input?

I don't think hot water hot will do it. While I've never experienced it first hand (as I don't use heat styling), I've seen some pretty credible pictures from people here and on other henna forums that curling irons or flat irons can cause darkening. I think it's tied in part to proteins and other things in the heat-protectant serums, but I've got nothing but conjecture on that one. I just remember someone doing a test where they did one bit with a flat iron and no protectant gel and there was a lot less darkening than with it.

[Hypnotica]

I don't think hot water hot will do it. While I've never experienced it first hand (as I don't use heat styling), I've seen some pretty credible pictures from people here and on other henna forums that curling irons or flat irons can cause darkening. I think it's tied in part to proteins and other things in the heat-protectant serums, but I've got nothing but conjecture on that one. I just remember someone doing a test where they did one bit with a flat iron and no protectant gel and there was a lot less darkening than with it.

Intresting - an area to research! I don't own a flat iron, otherwise I would totally investigate this.

But next question is - would a hair dryer really heat up the hair to the temperature a flat iron does?

[pinknika]

I love my stylist! But there would be a few things I would change: the heat styling. But she knows me pretty well now and will only trim a very little bit. Sometimes I wish she would take off more, but other than that, I'm happy. I like her because she listens, not a lot of stylists do that now adays and think they can treat everyones hair the same.

[Nightshade]

Intresting - an area to research! I don't own a flat iron, otherwise I would totally investigate this.

But next question is - would a hair dryer really heat up the hair to the temperature a flat iron does?

Uhm, if you're doing it right, no. But some people do belong to the Nuke It From Orbit school of hair care :p

[Alvrodul]

Thank you for all the nice comments - and I am very pleased with my trim! :D
Hypnotica, I don't know if the henna would have darkened on my hair if she had used heat on the blowfrier, but I had hennaed only 2 days ago, and I am of the "better safe than sorry" school. I love my present color, and would have been devastated if the heat had caused a significant darkening. And I also remember that when I did use a blowfrier after washing, I really did not like the way it looked and felt after it had been dried that way. Using the cold setting took longer, but gave me better results! :)
CarpeDM, I hope that the next time you have a trim, you will take some inspiration from my story, and stand up for yourself. You are paying the stylist for her services, after all, and that means you have a right to expect a good result and good treatment at her hands. If you are unhappy with the results or your treatment, it really means you did not get what you paid for! I am sure the stylists here on LHC will agree! If it helps, you can rehearse certain requests beforehand. Personally, I was worried about what would happen when the stylist was going to detangle my hair, so I came prepared with my own comb and a polite but firm phrase. And as for not wanting to shampoo at the salon - if necessary you might claim allergies - a small white lie like that might be useful at times. ;)
And Hypnotica, I agree that not all brushes are bad - I also have a Tangle Teaser, and love it - but I was not going to let the stylist's hairbrush anywhere near my head!! :tmi: Additionally, there was the way she was going about it. Starting from the top, indeed! :rolleyes:

ETA: Nightshade: The Nuke It From Orbit school of haircare - I love that! :laugh:

[spidermom]

Good for you! Some of the worst hair stylist horror stories contain some version of the line "and the next thing I knew" and I always wonder "did you go to sleep or what?"

[dulce]

Love this story!Luckily your stylist listened to you and your requests,I have very curly hair so need to have it cut dry,and when I used to go to the salon near me they've actually refused to cut my hair dry,insisting wet with a shampoo was the ONLY way they would cut it.They also detangle improperly and roughly and love the hot blowfryer and want to straighten my hair and always cut off way more than i want so it's a real hassle to argue with them as they have the I am the hairdresser and I know best attitude. Am sure not all salons are so stubborn but now I do everything at home as I'm tired of not having my requests honored and I don't have the energy to hunt down a salon that would be more accepting. If I could find a long hair forum friendly salon near me ,I'd definitely try again, but don't believe there is one.I live in Victoria B.C .Canada.If there is one please let me know,till then I'll continue to do everything at home.

[tigereye]

Good for you! It took many years of asking for small changes from my regular stylist to get the kind of salon experience I have now. My stylist now apparently refuses to detangle with anything other than a comb for any of her clients, and always starts at the ends. :D I have yet to educate her on henna though. I guess that'll come when I turn up next year.;)

[Theobroma]

But some people do belong to the Nuke It From Orbit school of hair care :p

Bwahahaaa! I'm SO glad I wasn't taking a sip of coffee just when I read that! :spitting:

[lippleyluv]

Ha! Love your story! I have a WONDERFUL stylist that I go to. I am in Klamath Falls, Oregon. She always does EXACTLY what I ask for. I can even say "Take off anything you feel needs to come off." and she will only take off maybe 3/8 of an inch. I have no worries, she listens to what I want, period. I have even suggested she advertise as "Long Hair Friendly" but I'm pretty sure sure she thinks I'm crazy. I tried to explain how traumatizing it can be to ask for 1/2 an inch off and get four inches off, and she agreed but I don't think she feels that advertising for long hair would actually pay off. :rolleyes:

I even add oil to my hair and blow dry (on cold) myself and she doesn't bat an eye.:cheese:

[sugar&nutmeg]

Good for you! What a great story. I hope it empowers others to speak up, and not just 'take it' (and then pay for it!). You may have been an unusual customer, but it doesn't sound, to me, like you were difficult.

I've never felt super-comfortable in a salon setting, so hyettf16 I empathize completely. I always feel like (feel free to sing ;)) "which of these things is not like the others" when I'm in the salon.

Around here (very small Midwest so-called 'city'), I'm often the weirdest person in the room already, so I just use that to my advantage. I walk in with wet hair already combed, get my trim, after which my hair is only damp, bun it up, pay and go. Fortunately, my stylist is very nice, and accepts (what she thinks are) my eccentricities.

[AshleyTheRed]

I only let my grandmother cut my hair. I've had some bad experiences with hair cuts. ( I was once forced to get a bowl cut. :wail: )

I figured if my grandma cuts my hair to short I won't go all :taz: , because she's my grandma.

I have actually yelled at a hairdresser. When I was 12 I had waist length hair. I went in to get a trim. I told her three inches off. I even showed her where to cut it. She cut it to my shoulders. About nine inches.

:patrol: It did not end well for her. I stood up yelled at her, got her boss involved and almost got her fired. :nono:

Now remember I was twelve, and I hadn't learned to control my temper yet. I still fell kinda bad about it, but she had been cutting hair for many years, and had no excuse.

[Nightshade]

Bwahahaaa! I'm SO glad I wasn't taking a sip of coffee just when I read that! :spitting:

:twisted: :eyebrows:

[Audrey Horne]

I don't think you were difficult at all. Maybe just unconventional (for them)? :) You actually made their work easier. A lot of hairdressers are bored with long(er) hair. One hairdresser I visited in Germany years ago has told me that he dislikes long hair and dusting/trimming all day long. Sure, I can see that it must be kind of boring... I didn't even have shoulder length at the time. It was my first sad (unsuccessful) attempt at growing hair. He asked if I got my hair cut in Britain :confused: like it'd be a bad thing. Despite his strong preference for short cuts he gave me a perfect dusting/trim. He took time to do that and cut like 2mm :shocked:
What I dislike about some stylists and doctors too is "Omg how bad!" thing. It makes me :o and I just want to stand up and run. I come to get their help and I know I have some certain issues :eyesroll: But I got that quite often in my life. Why wouldn't they just listen and help as I ask? Am I the only one on this?
So I do hesitate to go to a hairdresser. Most likely there will be preaching and then they will be pissed or just shocked if I suggest this and that. And I really dislike leaving some place with a bitter taste and a bad mood.
Did anyone go to a barber with a request to get their hair cut? My theory: those who cut mostly men's hair have better understanding of measurments as they have to cut very short hair daily and take off an inch or so, hardly more. So they don't deal with lengths and maybe it's a good thing.

I am very sorry for a long reply. I'm just really nervous about it, I haven't gone to a salon for a long time.

[selderon]

It sounds to me like you knew what you wanted and communicated it clearly and courteously. I call that a dream client!

[nellreno]

I don't think you were difficult, it's more that you were helping them help you be happy with your experience.

Whenever I have a retail job there's plenty of customers that are looking for one specific thing. As long as they're nice about it and don't throw things at me and call me an idiot I've never been angry with a customer who needed something specific.

[lilasianvixen77]

Good for you! I'm glad you spoke up to the hairdresser! Especially if you're gonna spend money, you would want it done right! :-)

[dulce]

In my case I was polite, but was told in a very firm voice this is how we do it here.I tried to discuss what I needed but got nowhere.So after that last experience and previous bad hair cuts where I was very specific on my needs and still got a very disappointing result,I won't go back to a salon till I find one that is long hair friendly and knowledgeable on long curly hair.

[Faolan]

I wish I was capable of being firm and telling people I don't know what to do. I'm kind of shy and hate bossing people around because I always feel like I'm being rude even if it's totally my right to tell them what to do.

The last time I got a haircut was last October-ish. I had it done a beauty school so if it got screwed up at least I wasn't paying someone upwards of $30 to mess up my hair. They guy who did it did insist on shampooing me, and did say some rude things about my henna and how it was the reason I had so many split ends. He did detangle with a comb though and only blow dried my hair about half way with a diffuser on low heat. He took off probably about 6-8 inches (way more than I wanted), but the ends were damaged enough that I didn't really mind too much. I was going to take off about that much, but had planned on doing it in maybe three smaller trims, letting it grow out in between.

At first he seemed confused that I didn't want a "style" or something I would have to straighten/curl/blowdry every day, but he got over it pretty quick. He was capable of listening to me for the most part and didn't heat style me before I left like a lot of places do, so I wasn't completely dissatisfied.

If anyone has a suggestion for a long hair friendly salon in Bellingham, WA I would be super grateful so I don't have to keep taking my chances at the beauty school.

[x0h_bother]

They say 5cm, you say 2cm and get 3cm. THAT's negotiation for ya, that's how it's done folks!

[PraiseCheeses]

Good for you! Some of the worst hair stylist horror stories contain some version of the line "and the next thing I knew" and I always wonder "did you go to sleep or what?"

Yep - guilty. I always figured, "Well, they're trained professionals, so they know what's best." Plus, I was shy about speaking up. I'm glad LHC has educated me and made me examine my role in just why it took me three years to get my hair to the point where I could grow it out.

[CarpeDM]

Thanks for the inspiration Alvrodul!

[PiroskaCicu]

Agh! A hairstylist (who was balding, so that might explain why) started detangling from the top of my hair at BSL too. It was awful T_T.

You did the right thing!

[Alvrodul]

Thanks for the inspiration Alvrodul!
I really did hope this story would help others to take charge as well - setting limits and ensuring that they get good results whan visiting the hairdresser! :)