View Full Version : a tale of heartbreak and lopped off hair - and a reintroduction!

June 23rd, 2011, 06:46 PM
Hi, everyone! I used to be active on this forum in 2008 or so. I had waist length hair and you guys taught me how to take care of it and style it. I was really enjoying it, although it was a ton of work! Well, I went through a nasty breakup with my BF of three years and I chopped it off into a chin-length bob, which is what I do when I go through major life changes. Over the last couple of years I've kept it in a cute short cut that required a lot of blowing out and straightening, so the ends are fairly dry. However, the great thing is that I have grown out the color I have been using for FIFTEEN YEARS (or more, honestly) and my hair is virgin hair, grey strands and all! (Just turned 40.) I have a new and awesome boyfriend and things feel pretty stable in my life overall. Now I'm in the "I think I'll grow it for another 4-5 years" phase, only THIS time I have YOUR advice from the get go!

I am looking for advice on how to style my hair. I have it in a long flip length now and even in the front and back (finally). I just got a couple of claw clips and they work well. I learned how to do a sock bun yesterday and it REALLY makes me miss having that much hair for REAL! I am hoping I'm to APL by the end of the year.

I just switched to conditioner washing today, after clarifying my hair 2 days ago. I am going to try going cone free and see if this changes my hair type. I am thinking I am more wavy or even wurly than I thought and I had been weighing it down with tons of cones since I really like slip. So, we will see! I hope I don't go through a terrible adjustment. I am finding I like argan oil on my hair as much as my face!

I have hair toys for longer hair that I can't use yet, but I saved them. I have amazing wooden forks from Etsy that are just waiting! I can use my sticks in behind a sock bun and fake it, at least. :) I'm looking for suggestions on toys for my length. I think I may order a Flexi8. And I'm not sure who came up with the "hard" headbands that are actually soft, but they are a freakin' genius! (Migraineur, here...)

Advice welcome! Toy suggestions welcome! It's good to be back. And please...help me be strong against the flat iron. It beckons me...

June 23rd, 2011, 06:58 PM
just want to say welcome back :-) and happy growing ..

June 23rd, 2011, 07:04 PM
Welcome back!

HEY....get away from the flatiron :)

June 23rd, 2011, 07:42 PM
Walk away from the flat iron. Just. Walk. Away.

June 23rd, 2011, 07:45 PM
My hair is past BSL but incredibly thick (over 5.5" circumference) and very slippy, so it seems to behave like most people expect shoulder-to-APL hair to behave. (I actually thought of myself as a straight-y but turned out to have 2a hair, which surprised the heck out of me! It brushes out to 2-4 waves from roots to tips most of the time, so I thought I was nearly straight.)

I like my Ficcare (and my immitation Ficcare), but I like Flexis more because they weigh so little. I've got a couple of double-pointed knitting needles I (er, my fiance) bent into u-shaped...hmm. Small forks? Oversized hairpins? (I recommend using a 1" dowel to make these - measure and mark the halfway point on the needle, and then just bend it around the dowel to get a nice u-shaped bend.) I think at this length some amish hairpins (or other hairpins, depending on your preference) might not be amiss.

I actually just ordered my first 'serious' fork from Grah-Toe Studios yesterday, and some Ketylos and some plain hardwood sticks earlier this week. I'm still not sure if I can make it stay up just yet, but I'm hoping! At the very least, I can probably manage a sectioned bun, which you probably can at your length too, so you might very well be able to get some use out of your toys that you're thinking won't work until you have longer hair. I'm still kind of figuring out what I can do with my hair, having in the past considered it a lost cause because of weight, thickness, and slippy-ness.

Congrats on the awesome new boyfriend!


June 23rd, 2011, 08:04 PM

I've had the breakup haircut before. I remember seeing waist length strawberry blonde hair all over the floor thinking, "What did I just do?"

But it gave me an opportunity to start my hair over fresh.

But, yes. Step away from the flat iron.

June 23rd, 2011, 08:05 PM
Hi. I think I remember your avatar.....

June 23rd, 2011, 08:19 PM
Hi archel. Happy belated birthday! Now drop that flat iron and let your natural waves come out and play.

June 23rd, 2011, 08:27 PM
Welcome back! you can do it, get those straighteners in the bin and let those wurls come alive!

June 23rd, 2011, 08:31 PM
I say use the flat iron as you wish until you get out of flat-iron stage. I know for me sometimes at shorter legnths my waves don't look as put together. But, if you don't like it plus are going cone-free with no heat protection, I would suggest finding a leave-in you like that encourages curl. Happy Growing!

June 23rd, 2011, 08:38 PM
I just posted over in the wurly/curly thread - first day with CO wash and already wurlier. At least, I think? Or is that wavy? LOL


June 23rd, 2011, 09:14 PM
I've chopped my hair off after a bad breakup too. I don't regret it...sometimes it just feels so good to get rid of it all. & now you get to start fresh! Your hair is really beautiful, by the way.

June 24th, 2011, 04:53 PM
Welcome back! :blossom:

June 24th, 2011, 05:06 PM
Walk away from the flat iron. Just. Walk. Away.

I endorse this message. :D Welcome back!

June 24th, 2011, 07:26 PM
After a recent 6" chop ( after a 3 year relationship breakup ) I decided to grow my hair out right and stay away from hot tools and dye. It was hard for the first week at most. But, I took them all..my curling irons, flat iron and blow dryer put them in a plastic garbage bag and threw them as far into my closet as they would go so it would be a hassle to get to them if I thought about going for them. I know one day I will use one of them but not any time soon. I say you put them out of sight and not easily accessible for the first few weeks because that's when you'll have the hardest time. Now, I don't even want them near my hair, I cant even imagine putting a flat iron to my hair! I cringe. After nearly 3 months of no heat my hair is way healthier and I do not even feel the need to do anything but condition and air dry and let me tell you it feels great! Stay strong and you will be happy you did.