Wits end with Wavy/dry/frizzy/splits

[xovictoryxo]

I am at wits end with my hair, I am long past due for a trim. My ends are so so dry and split. My goal is to get to tail bone and have a pretty V shaped hemline and maintain from there. I am scared to go for a trim and they cut straight across, so its been about a year no trim. I keep telling myself to go, but I just cant bear to!
I havent been caring for it well lately, I wash an condition it every other day and throw it in a bun to dry somedays not even brushing it because its so tangled it hurts to comb thru and when I do I experience hair loss. On special occasion I blowdry and flat iron it straight. But mostly it lives in a decorative bun. I have very wavy hair. It is just so tangly frizzy and dry. Every other day I coat my hair with coconut oil/jojoba oil/camellia oil.
Because I have these frizzy waves it looks terrible down naturally, so If I want to wear it down its either blow fried straight or i have to put a mousse/gel curling product in then of course I would have to wash it out the same day.
I just dont think I have hair that likes to be long, because it is so tempting just to chop back to BSL. I am just below waist now and so close to tailbone.
Anyone with similiar hair type that has TBL Have any tips?? Please help if you can.

[bunzfan]

What about trimming the splits and doing a SMT, i tried that this month and my hair is transformed from super dry ends into ultra soft ends.

[xovictoryxo]

I did have good results when I tried an smt :)
Which conditioner did you use as the base?
I just need to go get that trim~ :(

[bunzfan]

I use Inecto which is a moisture conditioner sold in the U.K probable similar to Suave and i also add honey and a few drops of EVOO, as for the ends you could always give your self a micro trim.

[bella77]

it sounds like you may need to clarify. I get terrible tangles and yucky feeling hair when my hair needs to be clarified. I am using a product from Sally's called Ion clarifying crystals, you mix with water and leave it on for a few minutes, up to 20 and then rinse ou, no shampoo after, and condition. I find it works best instead of a clarifying shampoo. Just a thought!

[lacefrost]

I agree on the clarifying and SMT. You say you're a wavy and that you're dry, I think that's why your hair is being frizzy. Once you get enough moisture into your hair, the frizziness will calm down. I think you're probably washing your hair too frequently. If it's dry and wavy then washing every other day is probably excessive. Have you checked out the Wavy and Wurly thread? I think that would be really helpful for you. Also, you could always self-trim. Most people have had success with Feye's Self Trimming Method. That way you can keep your hemline and get rid of the ends you think are yucky.

[bella77]

I am definately a wavy, and my hair is frizzy. I know for a fact I wash too much and need moisture like crazy. I also self trim buy splitting hair in a middle part and bringing both sides to the front on either side of my neck, depending on your thickness- of which I have none- I can cut straight across and I always end up with a v hem in the back with this method. Try-

clarify- moisturize- self trim- moisturize some more and then some more!Don't wash for at least 3 days or more if you can help it, put it up and forget it for a week and live life, you'll be surprised how your hair will reward you for not obsessing over it!

[Peashy]

I don't really have any advice to give, i'm relatively new to 'proper' haircare, but to me your hair looks beautiful in the pic. I'd love hair like that! I really wouldn't worry too much over it, you're obviously doing something right, just maybe having a few bad hair days?

[xovictoryxo]

Thanks everyone for the advice, i WILL get this trim and clarify an deep moisturize.
Peashy Thank you! Although I have to admit- that picture is after a fresh henna and the infamous blow dry and flat iron. Thats the only time my hair looks nice :(

[spidermom]

I think that sometimes thinking your hair looks awful is more an attitude problem than a hair problem. I joined LHC hating my bushy hair and managing it with the blow-dryer, curling irons, and the flat iron. I slowly came to realize that every time I applied intense heat to my hair, I created more damage, which caused more of what I hated. So I gave up thinking that it had to be straight and smooth to be pretty and embraced wavy/curly hair care. Now I can hardly believe that I didn't like my hair in its natural state. It was a matter of adjusting my attitude.

Try the self-trim. You can go do it 1/8 inch at a time until you're confident with your technique.

[Mesmerise]

Well I know what you mean about only having nice hair when it's straightened etc. I feel the same about mine, because mine is so awfully frizzy and stuff. BUT I also know it was less frizzy BEFORE I ever straightened it... so that is part of the cause of frizziness... which is why I have decided to quit straightening it.

As for trimming...have you tried a self trim using Feye's method? There is a method there for giving a V cut if that's what you're looking for, and you don't need to worry about cutting too much off if you're trimming yourself!

[jacqueline101]

- hear you on your delema my hair was past due and was fried by my bad habits.

[RitaCeleste]

Someone had a link for how to trim hair. Search the form for self trims. I've been trying to grow out layers and only parting down the middle, brushing each side and pulling them together at bottom center of my bra with my chin held straight out and snipping the ends off. It makes a deep U but you can look, its V like. My sides haven't fully caught up they are about an extra inch shorter but that's how I cut. If I really have problems with my hair, I shampoo with regular shampoo and remove any buildup, I put Aphogee 2 minute reconstructor on it for 5 mins, wrap it in a towel and squeeze the water out, apply my cone free Honeysuckle Rose conditioner and some coconut oil, wrap it around my head, stick on a cap and leave it for 30 mins to deep condition and rinse it. if its still a bit frizzy when I brush it and its dry, I use meadowfoam seed oil on it cause I'm too heavy handed with the coconut oil. As you can see, I still got poof but if I use a brush, its gonna go poofy. Only using your fingers to comb it when its dry will give you less frizz.

[whitestiletto]

http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/

[Sheltie_Momma]

Our hair types are kind of similar - what helps me a lot is damp bunning it while it dries, it really helps keep the canopy smooth and then the rest goes into nice structured waves. If it is super dry and tangly - clarify - deep condition and then comb and see where the comb catches - in real honest life - that is probably about where you need to consider trimming up to - just my opinion because I am too lazy to really baby my ends. I also find that I cannot use the same products year in and year out - switching up helps a lot, especially if you use cones at any point in the routine. I also use cones for styling (not washing or conditioning - but for styling) - I just haven't found anything else that was equally effective, and it's my hair so no point in having tons of it and not liking it.

[Safira]

I agree with spidermom, maybe you should accept that your hair is different.

My hair has been straight or wavish about 4 years now. Couple of days ago I tried my curls. I was stunned how curly my hair was and how beautiful and shiny they were.

I think that you should try to work with those waves. It´s like that someone try to teach you how to walk differently, and you try but it doesen´t look natural: you have your own walking style and it looks good on you and you´re happy with it.

My hair doesen´t seem to like too much humectants and love protein, maybe you should try to avoid humectants if the frizz won´t settle down.

[dmarie16]

Your hair is beautiful!!! If it is damaged, you definitely cannot tell from the picture. SOOO shiny! You are obviously doing alot of things right.

[Sunshineliz]

My DD5 has finer hair, but otherwise you two are similar hairtypes. Learning to embrace the wurly curls and CO wash and use aloe vera gel on her hair (and plop it too) made such a HUGE difference! Remember when I showed you how it changed? It's looking even better as time goes on.

If the ends feel awful and have splits, you probably DO need a trim, and a clarifying. You're going to have to find out what works specifically for you, but I remember when I'd had a horrible perm when I was young and my hair felt like straw my mother used hot oil treatments every week and they helped a lot. I had to cut off a good bit too though.:( My hair was (and is) dry and so I only washed it once a week as that's all it could handle. I'm now doing it about twice a week normally and it's a CO wash these days.

I'm a bad preacher as I'm still figuring out my own waves and frizziness, but don't give up hope! We can figure it out!

(And BTW, your waves look good in your profice pic!)

[LaceyNg]

I agree on the clarifying and SMT. You say you're a wavy and that you're dry, I think that's why your hair is being frizzy. Once you get enough moisture into your hair, the frizziness will calm down. I think you're probably washing your hair too frequently. If it's dry and wavy then washing every other day is probably excessive. Have you checked out the Wavy and Wurly thread? I think that would be really helpful for you. Also, you could always self-trim. Most people have had success with Feye's Self Trimming Method. That way you can keep your hemline and get rid of the ends you think are yucky.

i couldnt agree with this more!

feye's self trimming tutorial made trimming my own hair SUPER easy, and i will NEVER go to a stylish ever again! they simply never give me what i ask for, and i can do better myself!

as well as the self trimming and SMT's, i wanted to add that before i went cone free, my ends were really dry and frizzy and stringy, all at the same time, but i switched to CO washing with the ceap V05 conditioners (the ones without protein) and it made a HUGE difference. something to consider, at least.

also, you might want to make sure the hair products you're using now dont have proteins, as your hair may not like them. mine certainly doesnt, and i learned the hard way, with hair that felt super dry and straw-like.

and one more thing, i'm in LOVE with the garnier 3 minute undo deep conditioner (comes in a tube and has bead things in it). it provides cone free moisture, but i actually leave it on while i take a bath, so a lot longer than just 3 minutes, and it works great!

let us know what you end up trying, and how it works for you! :D

[young&reckless]

I think your racking up some mechanical damage.
Bunning tangeled hair? You know that's going to lead to breakage.
Maybe trying takeing more time when handleing it and try to find gentle ways to style it.

There is a great artical secton: )

[gthlvrmx]

http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/
I second this!
You can get your own V cut with your own scissors at home! :D

[xovictoryxo]

awe thank you everyone for the encouragement and advice!!
I ended up doing a self trim and cut about an inch off the ends, in a couple weeks im going to the salon to cut another inch.
I actually found out sally hansen sells that deep penetrating conditioner that you only find in the hair dying kits- those have always worked well for me!
I just spent the last week in humid florida/georgia weather but have kept my hair oiled and braided and its holding up so well!!

[Persephone94]

I've got 2b hair, and my holy hair grail is jojoba oil. Since I use heavily diluted shampoo with jojoba oil to wash my hair, it has become much easier to detangle. Split ends are my second name, but after vigorous daily 5min S & D, it has become much better. :)

Hope that helps!