green eyed monster comments

[renarok]

I had a patient at work make a VERY snarky comment yesterday about my hair. She said "Isn't your hair awful long? I don't remember your hair being that long before, what did you do?" I was kinda shocked. I said "Thanks". She said louder, "Well?" I didn't know what she wanted me to say. I just replied "I'm letting it grow." Then she replied "You don't say", and she walked off.

She is usually a nice lady. We are on very friendly terms. I don't understand her catty comments. It was more tone of voice that got me.

Green eyed monster? :confused:

[Liluri]

That indeed sounds like the green eyed monster coupled with the patient having a bad day or something :( I hope the rest of your day was better

[Siava]

Maybe she was hoping you had extentions. I don't get it either. Some women seem truly offended when others have enough patience to let hair get so long. It's ridiculous. Plus, if you're normally on good terms, maybe she was just having a bad day and will apologize the next time she sees you.

[redcelticcurls]

Jealousy, dislike, bad day, hormones. It could be anything.

[vidgrl007]

Sorry you had to hear that snarky comment,she coulda been having a bad day.

[spidermom]

I wish there were a way to convey tone of voice because the words themselves don't seem snarky to me (sitting here over my morning coffee). I think that a lot of times people are surprised to see long hair because the majority of women cut and style. As someone else said above, maybe she was having a bad day.

[frizzinator]

I agree with Spidermom, the words seem ok to me. The word "awful" doesn't always indicate a bad thing. Awful also means "awe-inspiring" and "awesome" when used as an adjective. Sometimes I think we all read more into other folks' tone and facial expressions than those folks are actually trying to express.

[Speedbump]

It sounds to me like it was the CHANGE in your hair that actually bothered her, and not the actual length of it. If this person is older, psychologically compromised or feeling physically bad, then ANY change, especially to someone/something she likes, would annoy her or bring out negative emotions. I wouldn't worry about it too much no matter what the reason, however.

[renarok]

It sounds to me like it was the CHANGE in your hair that actually bothered her, and not the actual length of it. If this person is older, psychologically compromised or feeling physically bad, then ANY change, especially to someone/something she likes, would annoy her or bring out negative emotions. I wouldn't worry about it too much no matter what the reason, however. Today 07:26 AM

I think you're right, she did just have surgery. She has been a patient for six years. I'd like to think it was an abberation.

[Anje]

It isn't "awful long," it's "pretty long.":p

I agree -- it may likely be that she was in a bad mood, and happened to direct it at your hair. There may be some jealousy there, but on another day she may be inspired to try growing instead of making harsh-sounding comments. I don't know what your hairdo habits are, but she may have noticed the length in the first time in a while because of updos and been surprised at how long it is. Updos do tend to hide length, after all.

[eadwine]

It sounds to me like it was the CHANGE in your hair that actually bothered her, and not the actual length of it. If this person is older, psychologically compromised or feeling physically bad, then ANY change, especially to someone/something she likes, would annoy her or bring out negative emotions. I wouldn't worry about it too much no matter what the reason, however.

Same thoughts here :) People can get amazingly attached to someone's image.. or the idea of someone.

[paper]

This reminds me when I had long hair. A friend said to me "your hair is getting awful long" In my mind all I heard was "awful" I looked at her funny and she says, "It looks good!" I told her I thought she was saying my hair looked awful.

[Dark Rosaleen]

Perhaps she was just very suprised? And that is why her tone didn't sound very nice?

In any case, at least someone noticed that it is getting long.

[biggeorge]

I see nothing negative in what she said either as far as her words.

Sometimes we are a little sensitive to negative comments when none were intended.

If she had said that it was "awful pretty" would you have had the same reaction?

I see it as a positive reinforcement unless tone and inflection dictated otherwise.

[Calista]

That´s why there are two distinct forms in the English language. "Awfully" (adjective) is not equal to "awful" (adverb). "awfully long" sounds much better, don´t you think? :)

ETA: "Awefully" would be even better... :D

[Starr]

Oftentimes when it comes to appearance people expect miracle cures: a hard to get vitamin, accupunture, an exclusive serum, weight loss pills, etc. And when the way someone else looks becomes desirable, then it is automatically assumed they have found that secret miracle.

Simply replying that you're letting it grow may not been the answer she was looking for and may in fact have irratated her. She was expecting some miracle product and you withheld the information she was looking for- effectively keeping your supposed "secret" to yourself.

[Curlsgirl]

Sometimes I think I take things wrong when someone asks me something about my hair or makes a comment WITHOUT following it up with what I think they should like, "It looks really good" or "Wow, don't ever cut it"! or at LEAST a simple, "Hmmmm, nice"!!! When they DON'T I think because my hair means so much to mean because I have made it a sort of "hobby" in a way to get it looking the best I can and it's been sort of a challenge, that I may be a bit more sensitive than some who don't give a rat about it. It could be jealousy or just that person not even thinking about it and just assuming you KNOW your hair is pretty or whatever. I am glad you wrote this because I need to quit assuming things like that too! Now if they said, "Oh wow, could you do something about that HAIR ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww" LOL!!!

[ginalaurie]

Lately, several people have made the "It's so long!!" comment to me and my first reaction is always "Thank you! I've been letting it grow!" Sometimes, they look kind of puzzled and it's dawned on me that maybe they didn't mean it as a complement, but I've decided that I'm going to take it as one whether they meant it that way or not. My world stays happier that way!

So, really, it's all about you not them!

[CurlyOne]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say PMS.

[Curlsgirl]

Lately, several people have made the "It's so long!!" comment to me and my first reaction is always "Thank you! I've been letting it grow!" Sometimes, they look kind of puzzled and it's dawned on me that maybe they didn't mean it as a complement, but I've decided that I'm going to take it as one whether they meant it that way or not. My world stays happier that way!

So, really, it's all about you not them!

May not be everyone's case but I think SO many people still have that mentality that you MUST cut your hair when you turn 40!!! And when you don't they just are baffled! They have been conditioned so long that even if they think it looks good they are like "HUH why would you go against the RULES"? Like I said may not be your case or others but I do think this factors in a lot. Let's change the rules!!!! :poot:

[LuXious]

I agree it's probably her own circumstance "shining" through. Well, whatever the case, if she's feeling grumpy, I hope life cheers up for her. I know being in the process of paying for surgery and going through recovery can be rough. Give your mane an extra shakeabout for your own well-being.

[tiny_teesha]

Well they say about 70% of what we say is the tone, if you are sure she was replying negatively- you should just really not care what she thinks, i know that is easier said then done. She may not like long hair, or be furiously jealous. Either way the only oppinion that matters is your own (and mine ;) - from your avatar your hair looks AWESOME! :) )

[slynn41202]

It may just be one of those things, I'd try not to worry about it too much.

I do know from working in a healthcare setting that some people don't think that long hair is appropriate, even if it is pulled back and can't touch the patients.

Of course I've also noticed that it's the shoulder length hair that tends to get in the way, and that's normally deemed "acceptable" by the hair length police.

I also was shocked to hear someone say that they thought long hair was disgusting, and it grossed them out, so maybe she just doesn't like hair after it's grown a certain length.

Then again, she might have been rude due to the aftereffects of surgery.

[blondecat]

Oftentimes when it comes to appearance people expect miracle cures: a hard to get vitamin, accupunture, an exclusive serum, weight loss pills, etc. And when the way someone else looks becomes desirable, then it is automatically assumed they have found that secret miracle.

Simply replying that you're letting it grow may not been the answer she was looking for and may in fact have irratated her. She was expecting some miracle product and you withheld the information she was looking for- effectively keeping your supposed "secret" to yourself.

I have come across this atitude before :(

To the OP, the lady just had surgury, I'd give her a pass.

[Lamb]

To me it seems she was hoping to get an answer to her question, namely, "what did you do?" In other words, she was looking for your tips, tricks, routine, etc. She wanted to know how your hair got to be so "awful long." You fended off the question by stating the obvious ("I am letting it grow.")
I think you misinterpreted an innocent question for an attack, honestly. The tone of voice (over which she may have had little control for many possible reasons) scared you and you became defensive.
I wouldn't worry about it, if she was having a bad day she would have used thesame tone to ask about the time! :)