Why is it that

[InTheCity]

hairstylists sometimes do what they want, despite what you tell them?

Yesterday I went for my first hair CUT in 3 years after finally realizing that my hair doesn't look that great long. (BSL with only a little bit of hair for the last 4" or so.) I decided that I could cut 4" off, maybe get a little layering and my hair would look a lot thicker.

Someone please tell me why I didn't cut it myself first, see if it would thicken with just a straight across trim before asking my stylist to make it look thick?

Needless to say, my dresser all but ignored me. I even showed him a picture. The only part he heard was "what would you do?" before he cut my whole head off!

It's been over 24 hours and this is the first time I broke down because everyone around me (including DH) told me they liked it. I know I'm fortunate enough to look good with short hair I just can't believe I let this happen. Whenever I play it back I think, why did I let him cut it so fast? Why didn't I specify, with rigidity, EXACTLY what I wanted?

I guess I wondered, is my stylist the only one who does this? Who does what he thinks is best despite what you say to do? Has anyone ever had such a drastic cut they didn't want and if so, how did you deal?

I can make a ponytail barely, and I'm sure 6 months will get me close enough to what I actually wanted but I could really use some encouragement/rants/positivity.

[cheetahfast]

I'm sorry that happened! My stylist did that to me once too, I told him I wanted to cut my hair to my collar bone and he ended up cutting it to my chin (that's about 3 inches shorter). It looked cute and I didn't mind then. At the time I was sick of my bsl hair (it was a bit heat damaged). Then when I decided to start growing my hair out I wanted to trim off the dead and split ends and my stylist cut a little bit more than what I wanted after saying my hair looked very healthy though I did ask him to add in layers, so maybe that's why.

That being said he is amazing at what he does and I'll probably go to him for a trim and be careful of what words I use. I'll avoid the word cut. In general I think most hair stylists like to cut hair so you should try to be firm about the amount you want off.

[Scarlet_Heart]

So your hair was bsl, with 4" of a few scragglies, and where did he cut it to?

I was a longhair as a teenager, maybe 13 or 14 and this had happened to me for years. I would ask for a trim and they would cut off 5"-6". So around that age, I started doing it myself. It's really nerve-wracking the first time or two, but I got pretty good at it and now I can cut my own layers too.

[Venefica]

I would sue the little bastard. I am not for frivolous lawsuits however it is your head, your hair and it takes time and effort to grow back. It is not the job of a hairdresser to do what they think will look best, it is their job to do what the customers want. I think a few hairdressers are so full of themselves that they think they will just be doing their thing and then the customer will love it once it is done. I have been lucky, I have hairdressers I can trust, but seriously if anyone pull this kind of s*** as you are describing I say sue them.

[sarah061]

I think it can be dangerous to ask your stylist what they would do! It's fine if you don't really mind what you get and are just looking for a change, but saying those words will make them feel like they have a creative license to do what they would want for you, and not necessarily what you would want for you.

I think that with anything where you need to convey to others an idea that's inside your head it can be very difficult to get the exact message across. Just look at all the usual benefits - no more splits or dry ends and it will grow back. Sorry you had a bad experience :(

[spidermom]

There must have been a mis-communication because hair stylists depend upon repeat business. They want to make you happy.

I've gotten a stylist once or twice who were just plain bad at their jobs, but in all my 57 years I have never had a stylist who completely ignored what I asked and gave me something else. However, once I told the stylist to trim 1 inch, then I started babbling away about how I didn't like my layers anymore and wanted to get rid of them, and she cut about 4 inches off, which evened up my layers. I am pretty sure that I confused her with my babble about getting rid of the layers. I didn't mean to get rid of them all at once. I blame myself, not her.

[Mairéad]

It happens to me all the time. I can't stand it and I loathe getting even trims because I always end up with something I didn't ask for. How can you mess up a trim?

I went to go get a trim and while she was trimming she just short of added, "Oh, I added about three layers."

And it looked awful. Did I ask for layers? NO! You can't put short layers in my kind of hair and not have it look awful. :mad:

When I ask for layers I usually ask it to be no more than an inch shorter than the longest layer and I always get some sort of hacked up hair-do.

I'm still mad about it. I've considered going to cosmetology school for a summer to learn how to cut my own hair.

And of course I've had my fair share of "you trimmed WAY more than I asked" and "Where did these bangs come from?"

Sorry, I kind of vented there. But it's a combo of bad hair products and botched hair cuts that are the reason I have shaggy boy hair right now. :c

[lapushka]

Needless to say, my dresser all but ignored me. I even showed him a picture. The only part he heard was "what would you do?" before he cut my whole head off!

I'm sorry this happened to you. I vote miscommunication also. Saying "What would you do?" to a hairdresser is like giving them carte blanche. It's saying, I totally depend on you to do what you think is right, do whatever you want. He could have told you what he thought of doing before he started to cut, though, but maybe he thought you wanted to rely on his expert advice and just go with whatever he decided? Yeah, miscommunication.

[StephanieB]

I have to agree that asking, "What would you do?" was indeed carte blanche to do what they 'would do'. (ie - what they think best -- not what they think you would think best)

What you probably ought to have done - to avoid confusion - was to ask that question before sitting down in his/her chair, and then discussing it, making certain that you both had the same understanding of what you ultimately decided you wanter him/her to do. THEN sit down in the chair.

And even so ^, expect a hairdresser to cut more than stipulated, because far more stylists seem to be incapable of following an order and/or of true measuring, than not.


I take a tape measure with me, these days, and I unroll it enough to show only how much I want trimmed off. Usually, this means that I unroll a tape measure to a quarter inch or a half inch.

Once I show this to him/her, I ask, "Do you clearly understand how little I want cut off? Do you have any questions? Or qualms about doing only exactly what I specified? Because I am not going to pay you if you do anything more... and I may sue you, as well, if you do cut more. I don't mind if you use my tape measure... But I do mind if you take a fraction of an inch over this quarter (or half) inch off. Do we understand each other now?"

More times than not, I have been refused service. And that's fine with me, coz only a person unwillling or incapable of doing as I ask will refuse me under such conditions. ;)

Most hairdressers tell me that I'm "insulting". Nine out of ten hairdressers tell me that my hair is too long for my thin hair. Many also tell me that I "look terrible like that". I've had several tell me that I would be less ugly with 'nicer hair'... presumably they can make my ugly hair nicer. I don't really care what they think, though. All I care about is that they cut no more than I have requested.

Bottom line: What I no longer have problems with is getting several inches more cut than I asked for or wanted.

So I'm good with refusal of service responses. It's okay. There's LOTS of hairdressers in my area! About 75, average, in each square mile of Essex county, NJ, actually. Not to mention NYC... I'll find one who can come close to doing what I want. (like cutting two inches when I asked for half an inch)

[squiggyflop]

i once asked a stylist to "even out" by untidy shoulder length bob.. she gave me this cut:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/kidmol/try2sept2006-1.jpg
this not only doesnt look "even" but its not even close to being a bob..
i wish i could say this was the last time i got my hair cut by a stylist.. but i forgot about it a few years later and went to get my hair cut there again.. she lopped off 3 inches more than i asked for and HURT me while she shampooed my hair.. she tore through my hair with very little conditioner, and 3 days later i had over 90% splits from her wreaking havoc on my head..

just saying in case the horrible picture makes you feel more pretty.. oh um and the face distortion is just to be funny.. the hair isnt messed with digitally.. it really was that bad

[Mesmerise]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: you need to be VERY specific when getting your hair cut. VERY. VERY VERY.

I have learned this the hard way ;)

I remember asking for "long layers" about 4 years ago... I ended up with a thick layer at chin length. How is that remotely long??? Well I dunno... maybe they thought "short layers" were like 2" long? But because I didn't SPECIFICALLY show her the length I wanted my layers to be, I got what she thought was right. (My hair was BSL+ at the time, and I envisaged layers no more than 2" shorter than the length of my hair...which is what I meant by long layers).

Now, I also self trim! When I do it myself I have complete control over the amount I chop off.

[Panth]

I'm still mad about it. I've considered going to cosmetology school for a summer to learn how to cut my own hair.

Seriously, unless you're trying for fancy cuts just search for "Feye's self-trim method". It has variations for a straight-across, a gentle U-shape and a V-shaped hem. There are also plenty of instructions on here for cutting layers, if that floats your boat. No need for any sort of schooling, just patience, going slow and a sharp pair of scissors.

[Vani1902]

I have heard so many of these horror stories. I have heard of women with waist length hair coming out of a salon with a bob when they asked for a one inch trim. Maybe if women started suing then maybe hair stylists would then decide to respect their wishes. How hard is it to cut off an inch? They love to go scissor crazy with long hair.

[Isilme]

Oh, sorry for the unwanted cut. With hairstylist one has to be very specific and don't tell them anyting more.
I do wonder though, of everyone who has had a cut they weren't happy with, did you not speak up? They have to know you are not happy with their job.

[dulce]

This has happened to me quite a few times,so I no longer go to salons and get my hair cut at home.Not being listened to and literally hearing my hair snap[it hurts too] when they comb it out,I don't need that anymore. The money I save goes to hair toys.

[ladyfey]

Actually why I have such long hair, got tired of being butchered by hairstylists! I would go to the manager of the salon and complain, at least let them know what happened to you.

[Seharia]

What has happened to me again... and again... and again is that after complimenting me on my thick healthy hair the stylist will go ahead and razor it thinner. I have no clue why they would decide to do that after I had even told said stylist that I do not want my hair thinned out.
After enough stylists doing this and also adding layers I did not ask for I realized my haircuts done on myself come out infinitely better.
Down with untrustworthy hairstylists :patrol:

[Kumiko033]

I'm sorry to hear all your horror stories, I've never never never had this experience. But you you guy's make me scared!

[Of the Fae]

Exactly the same thing a few years ago.. Toooo short, and I asked the stylist to give me a straight fringe, and she downright countered with : "I think you'd look better with more volume in it" And cut my fringe to shreds... I really wanted to hurt her

Oh AND the same stylist (why oh WHY did I go back... I was fifteen, and stupid) who had fixed me up with purple streaks (the ones they melt in) said they looked good when they were slightly longer than my hair, subsequently messed up by cutting them uneven, and when I mentioned this, rather pissed, she said it would look so much better if they were the sáme length as my hair, and went on chopping to fix that little error without any apology or refund..

And there's this little screw up last october when I wanted a perm and they said no your hair is dead (I had bleached it... had very little idea of proper hair care until recently!), so I thought, ok no perm, and then they insisted on chopping half of it off.. I got a beatles hairdo! (the awful fifties ones, not the nice do's from the seventies).. I was very very sad. They said it was necessary..

Yes, they are a nuisance.
But I have family with their own salon, and they actually dó listen :)

[Sweetie]

It happens all the time....this is the main reason why I started cutting my own hair, it never (really!!) happened to me to leave a hairstylist with a smile!
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you, too, I'm sure your hair will re-grow very fast!!!

[jujube]

I have never had a bad experience with a hairdresser, except when I gave one carte blanche. I don't understand how you can have waist length hair and not notice that it's being cut into a bob until the hairdresser's done.

[Joliebaby]

i once asked a stylist to "even out" by untidy shoulder length bob.. she gave me this cut:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/kidmol/try2sept2006-1.jpg
this not only doesnt look "even" but its not even close to being a bob..
i wish i could say this was the last time i got my hair cut by a stylist.. but i forgot about it a few years later and went to get my hair cut there again.. she lopped off 3 inches more than i asked for and HURT me while she shampooed my hair.. she tore through my hair with very little conditioner, and 3 days later i had over 90% splits from her wreaking havoc on my head..

just saying in case the horrible picture makes you feel more pretty.. oh um and the face distortion is just to be funny.. the hair isnt messed with digitally.. it really was that bad

ROFL!!! Um yea. Not a bob.

[Ligeia_13]

Ah, the hairdressers strike again. I'm so sorry. This kind of thing happens to me EVERY time. I once had hair down to my elbow and I asked for a trim to sort out the ends a bit. I got shoulder length. I was so...upset. I actually cried that night.

[InTheCity]

It's nuts how often this happens.

I can definitely take my share of the blame for not saying "this is exactly what I want, do you understand" or "show me before you cut" or any other more definitive thing.

I'm still just peeved that he would disregard what I asked for and not run his ideas by me first. The cut lasted like 2 minutes; went by in a flash.

[Cirafly24]

I'm sorry this happened to you :(

I once asked for a 1" trim and came out with butchered layers that were 8" shorter than when I came in. I went from waist length to barely APL. I cried.

I think in my case, it was more an issue of skill than anything else. He kept trying to "even up" the layers, as I watched more and more of my hair hit the floor. Not fun. I had to have a friend fix the damage, which took off another inch or so.

I do all my own trims now :p

[Eirelin]

You really, really have my sympathy.

I can also empathize. It seems that whenever I go in and get a trim (a TRIM!), it becomes a cut. In my introductory post, I mentioned that every hairstylist seems to turn into my mother. While growing up, my hair would grow out a little bit, mom chopping the bangs really short (because they grew so quickly, of course, and she didn't want to have to trim them any more than necessary), and then just when my hair got to a decent length, she would chop it all off. Ugh, pageboys {shudders}! It would start growing again, she would chop it off, and we would start all over again.

Ironically, my older sister always had long hair, and when I complained that it was unfair, she told me that I looked so cute with short hair and my sister looked better with long hair.:mad:

So as an adult, I have tried to grow it out and rarely get trims (the only real cut was the donation 3-1/2 years ago after my sister died from cancer) because every stylist turns into Mom! I swear! I sit in the chair, they morph into my mother, and the next thing I know, I've lost inches. I tell them, "Just trim off the split ends and nothing else. I'm growing it back out," and I KNOW I do not have 4" or more of split ends. GRRR!

[McFearless]

Hairstylists hate everyone, duh.