Long hair and having babies....

[howsitgrowin'87]

My husband and I are ready start a family and I was wondering if any of you long hair mama's out there ever get discriminated against for having long hair and a new, often "grabby" baby?

While I am not pregnant yet, and have no control over if and when that should happen, if it were up to us, we would probably want to have a baby by this time next year. My hair is in between APL and BSL right now, and I'm hoping in a year it will be much closer to my goal length, Waist. I have spent the last two years nurturing my once blow fried, bleached and flat ironed hair, even having to sacrifice length to get rid of the damage and it's finally on its way :) I finally feel confident in my looks and with my hair, and I think it will be important for me as a mom to feel that way, too.

Here's the problem: A lot of the women around me and in my circle have had babies lately and all of whom have had longer hair (most of them about APL) only to cut it all off into a shorter bob or chin length number after the baby is about 5 months. I've even heard someone say "Oh good! You got an easy 'mommy' haircut. You can't have long hair and deal with a baby too". While I know I will probably get some comments and even, dare say, put downs on how I'm being "selfish" by keeping my long hair (because I will keep it, no questions), I'm just not sure how I should respond if this were to ever come up.

Do any of you mama's out there have any advice or experiences you could share on this topic?

[Stagecoach]

There a young mother at my church with thigh length hair and a 8 month old baby. She shows no inclination to cut her hair, so I imagine she is managing just fine! She does always wear it confined in a braid.

[gthlvrmx]

I really do not understand the whole problem about having long hair when you have babies...it's just hair! Updo's! They are there for a good reason:p

[Ermine]

I am not a mother, but I don't see why it's a big deal. Mothers have had long hair for centuries, and it worked out for them.

[maybe sparrow]

I cut mine at about that same 5 month mark. Incidentally, that's when they start doing things like TEETHING and CRAWLING, never mind grabbing.

There was a point, when he was getting his first teeth, where I was so tired that I might have agreed to amputation or having horns installed on my head, if it meant I'd have one less thing to keep up with. It's hard to find time for things like brushing your teeth, let alone managing three feet of hair.

Sure, women have had long hair + infants for centuries. What exactly were the legal, social, and presumed spiritual consequences for female hair-cutting at those times?

[celebriangel]

Well...I know (not from experience) that having babies takes up 350% of your time and energy for a while, so I understand why people cut their hair short in an effort to free up a few extra minutes.

However...I spent waaaaay more time on my short hair than I need to on long hair. Sure, with long hair I henna and do deep treatments and things, but that's out of choice, and if I wanted to it'd get by happily on benign neglect. Seriously, my "absolute minimum" routine consists of washing 1 time per week (less if I'm tired or busy) and one minute each night/morning as I transfer from hairstick updo to braid/vice versa. If I keep my hair up all the time, I don't even need to comb except when I wash - I few strokes with my fingers to smooth the updo does just fine, since my hair doesn't tangle when it's up/in a braid.

Additionally, I can french/dutch it - takes about 3 minutes on BSL hair - and leave it in for days at a time, no switching at night. Not quite zero effort, but close. I can do a lazy wrap bun faster than anyone can say "but short hair is easier"! Short hair, on me, needed frequent washing and styling, and it couldn't be tied back quickly and convenient. Sounds like *more* hassle to me.

But, eh. People have this weird perception - probably because most people have never had truly long hair in their lives - that longer hair = more hassle.

As for dealing with people being rubbish at you, I'd say demonstrate how fast you can put your hair up, and move on.

[Kaelee]

I'm not a mother but I can't imagine cutting my hair to a bob- that would be WORSE IMO because at that length, it's hard if not impossible to pull back out of your face.

[Mairéad]

As someone who used to be a long hair and is at the moment a short hair, short hair is a much bigger hassle in my opinion. It needs washing more and usually needs styling with yucky products and tools to look good.

With long hair it hardly needed brushing in the morning but now that I can't put it up before bed it sticks straight up and the only way to get it to go down is to wet it.

I wrap it in a silk scarf at night to try and stop this but it falls off more than half the time.

[Kristamommyx3]

I have three children, and I can tell you that there is definitely an urge to cut your hair for many new moms. Maybe it's part of "nesting". However, not everyone does, and if you don't want to, then by all means, don't. If and when anyone questions when you'll be getting a more sensible cut, tell them that you've found that the longer your hair gets, the lower maintenance it is. Then, add in, that you do like their cut and that should end it. ;)

[GeoJ]

I kept my long hair- it was about hip to tailbone length when DD was born (she's 5 now). I had no urge to cut, and found it easy to just put it in a bun and forget it. It takes me less than 30 seconds to do a quick bun, and I can get away with not combing first if I don't have time.

I don't recall anyone asking me about cutting it. If that did happen, I would have just mentioned how quick it is to put in a bun, vs. the amount of time it took me to do my hair when it was much shorter.

[dulce]

I had hair to my waist or a bit longer when pregnant and raising young kids,when they got to the grabby stage put my hair in a back out of reach style and switched from dangling earrings to studs. This stage doesn't last too long,it's not a big deal.

[Emmental]

I'm a mom and I have BSL hair.

I am not saying this to downplay your experiences or concerns, but I think you'll find that moms are going to be questioning anything but your hair length preferences when you have a baby. A lot of people will want to share their parenting choices with you and you will even have some moms comparing your baby to their 5-month-old baby that speaks five languages. ;)

In all seriousness, it can be frustrating, especially when nursing. I've had several strands ripped out at once and it hurts. ;) I made my own nursing necklace and started to put my hair up in a messy bun when I'm going to start a nursing session. Even when playing, I have my hair grabbed when I don't expect it. Redirection and teaching "gentle" both work well for us.

I was actually contemplating cutting off my hair until we went out and I styled my hair (down). I felt so womanly and lovely, which I don't often feel since I work from home and stay at home with my LO. I realized that having long hair is more important to me right now because I'm often rushing around looking unkempt and even messily up, my hair makes me feel attractive. It's important for me, so I don't really care what other people think. Though, no one has ever commented about it.

[Maelyssa]

I've had five babies...in fact my youngest is actually 5 months and 3 weeks as we speak. My hair has been hip length at it's longest & never did I get comments about being selfish for not cutting my hair.

BUT I would personally suggest getting a few really easy updos that are held by a claw clip or hair fork down pat starting right now. Use them when pregnant & after you have your baby.
If you get comments you can say that you did some online research & you read that many new moms find it easier to keep their hair long & just pull it up rather than find the time to go for regular cuts plus style a shorter do.
It's true. I've had shorter hair & I think it's so much more a pain in the rump than longer hair. I can just wash, comb, pull into an updo & be set all day with little to no hassle.

If they're the kind of mom's that follow Hollywood trends you can always refer to the many mommies who are famous & keeping their locks long.

Don't sacrifice your desire for long locks because other moms want you to. I've never had the urge to cut because of my kids....the urge to bun yes but cut...never.

Good luck with the hair & family plans!

[dulce]

These young moms who cut their hair obviously don't really know how to deal with long hair or how easy it really is.They have bought into the cultural myth ,long hair is difficult and time consuming.Maybe by your actions you can show them differently.

[spidermom]

I never got bad-vibed for having long hair when my son was born, but I got it cut short soon after. He was always grabbing my hair with his grubby little hands that could have anything from nothing to vomit on them, plus my hair didn't look that good to me after my son was born, and it really annoyed me.

[elbow chic]

Keep it put up and it shouldn't be a big problem. Grabby babies will rip out big fistfuls of hair when you least expect it, and it'll only need to happen once or twice for you to be mindful of it ever after.

Now having stylish long hair while in the throes of motherhood, now that may be a problem. :laugh:

Anyway, enjoy it! It doesn't last long. My fourth, final baby started walking this month. Wah!

[Messyhair]

My hair wasn't overly long when my little guy was an infant, but he was awesomely NOT grabby at hair anyway. But he is probably the exception to the rule. :) I plan on having a second baby next summer, if all works out as planned, so I'll see how that goes. Honestly, twist-twist-twist-poke-in-hair-fork-done... how simple is that?

[Bene]

I fail to see how keeping one's hair long automatically translates to "selfish" :shrug:



I'm just gonna throw this out there because it's something I've noticed in people over the years (not about this specific example):


If you walk around expecting negative criticism, then you're eventually going to receive it. If you walk around cringing and wincing over some imagined potential bad feedback, that's EXACTLY what you're going to get, especially if you're determined to strike back before it happens. And, by "striking back before it happens", I mean running around getting in people's faces, flaunting it (whatever it is), and just all around making a spectacle of yourself, along the lines of "This is what I do, get over it, get used to it, I dare you to say something about it", then yes, you will receive some really bad comments over it, because that attitude (while subtle) does poke people in the way that will make them go on the offensive. Just do your thing, and don't give anyone the opportunity to say anything about it.


In this particular example, I'd tell you to grow however long you want. Keep it as long as you want. Just don't go bringing it up, it's nobody's business but your own. Enjoy your hair. If you happen to have any jerks in your life who will pop up with unsolicited advice, who'll tell you that you're selfish, just shrug it off with a "Yes... and?" You know your hair, you know how much work (or lack of work) goes into it, and in the end that's the important part. You don't need to answer for it, or justify it to people who don't understand.


And if a baby comes along, putting it up and away is more than effective, even when dealing with grabby hands that get into everything.

[Annibelle]

Some mothers say they cut their hair because they get a big postpartum shed... other than that, I can't think of a single reason to cut my hair! ;)

[Fiferstone]

I had a bit of postpartum shed (my hair grew ridiculously thick while I was expecting), but I found it was just easier to braid it/bun it and get on with my life, than to have to deal with shorter hair. I was a waist length when my son was born, and I'm now at tailbone and trying for classic :).

[ReadingRenee]

I'm a mom and I have BSL hair.

I am not saying this to downplay your experiences or concerns, but I think you'll find that moms are going to be questioning anything but your hair length preferences when you have a baby. A lot of people will want to share their parenting choices with you and you will even have some moms comparing your baby to their 5-month-old baby that speaks five languages. ;)

In all seriousness, it can be frustrating, especially when nursing. I've had several strands ripped out at once and it hurts. ;) I made my own nursing necklace and started to put my hair up in a messy bun when I'm going to start a nursing session. Even when playing, I have my hair grabbed when I don't expect it. Redirection and teaching "gentle" both work well for us.

I was actually contemplating cutting off my hair until we went out and I styled my hair (down). I felt so womanly and lovely, which I don't often feel since I work from home and stay at home with my LO. I realized that having long hair is more important to me right now because I'm often rushing around looking unkempt and even messily up, my hair makes me feel attractive. It's important for me, so I don't really care what other people think. Though, no one has ever commented about it.

This made me laugh because it is SO TRUE! :lol:

Anyway, back to hair.

I cut my hair about the 3 or 4 month mark after being bound and determined through my whole pregnancy not to cut my hair and not to cut it after the baby. my hair was waistlength when she was born and I cut it to a very short bob thing when she was 3 or 4 months old.

why? Well, I never had any time for my hair. I didn't CARE about my hair. That first period after the baby is born is so time consuming, so life consuming that my hair was the VERY last thing on my mind. Every single day I pulled it back into a messy scrunchy knot thing and maybe once a day I would remember to take it out and re knot it. My hair was getting so tangled and ripped out from this. In the beginning I tried my hair clips but soon she was grabbing them out of my hair and it HURT> And then she was grabbing my actual scalp hair so even if I had it in a bun it hurt when she grabbed it.

So I cut it off. I reasoned I could start letting it grow and by the time she was a preschooler it would be long again.

[ladyfey]

Single Mom of twins here, my hair is knee length and I still have it! The kids are 2 years old. I just wear it up all the time, I shower at night after they go to bed. It's easy enough to do!

[Flossy]

3 babies in 3 1/2 years (the eldest is 5, the youngest almost 2) and the only time I thought about cutting my hair off was when #1 was about 5 months (what is it about that age?). I'm super glad I didn't, and didn't consider it again.

My only problem has been actually getting my hair to grow. Breastfeeding seems to make it stop growing as my body concentrates on other things...

[Alex Lou]

So I don't have any kids yet . . . but I'm agreeing with others who say that long hair is easier. When my life is hectic, I choose long hair because all I have to do is wash it twice a week. Short hair requires styling. This depends on the individual and their hair texture/thickness/oiliness though.

[GRU]

If *my* big bushy hair can manage to survive raising a baby, anybody's can!

That was over a decade ago, and I didn't know the joys of hairsticks and the 10-second bun, but I did a lot of loose/nape ponytails and never had a problem -- my hair was always behind me when I did this, compared to moms w/ "soccer mom" hair whose ends were always free and enticing to an infant.

[dragonchickx]

I had long hair after having my daughter and didnt notice it being a problem, just make sure to check everywhere occasionally so that no hair gets in babies fingers and toes. Its pretty easy to keep out of the way if you can braid it or bun it or even pull it back into a ponytail.

[Jomo]

i'm 8 weeks pregnant and my only concern is something someone else mentioned in this thread (can't find it right now) - that your hair might just not be as nice during and immediately after pregnancy, so you might want a good trim just to get it under control a bit. My hair has already gone kind of yuck : / dry, flyaway, clumpy, just icky. I would never chop it all off but if it stays in this awkward stage for too long I might be tempted to cut up to waist or BSL just so there's a bit less of it hanging around. I can't wear it down right now anyway cos it looks awful, and from what I hear post-baby hair can be pretty bad too. Some people shed so badly they get bald spots :x

Of course there's no hard and fast rule, it's whatever suits you better, but I can't help but feel a lot of mums get a cut not out of some weird sense of obligation but because they just hate what the huge OD of hormones has done to their hair!

[JamieLeigh]

I had five babies all in a row, stair-steps, and I never had my hair above hip-length in any of that time. It's easy to make a scrunchie bun, and if little hands were heading into my hair, I certainly didn't allow any of them to continuously pull it and let them think it was all some big game. It's easy to firmly but gently remove baby hands and direct them to something else like a teether or rattle. Eventually they'll get the point, it's called teaching and you're going to have to do a lot of that in their lifetimes. There is not a darn thing wrong with that. :p

The kids are 9, 8, 7, 5 and 4 now, and my hair is still long, it's creeping toward knee length now. Maybe it's just that I have had it all my life and I already knew how to deal with it quickly and in a pinch, but I never had that urge to cut, and I never even got annoyed with it being in the way.

I also never got comments on it - probably again, because everyone else was also used to me having it long all my life, so it was just kind of a given for me - but what I DID get were comments exactly as Emmental described. :D There are so many people who think they know how to parent better than everyone else, and I truly believe that is what you'll be hit with harder than the hair question. (And honestly? If you're attacked with anything, just tell them to eff off. It's your life, you do it your way!) ;)

[Sweetie]

I am not a mum, but I definetely think it would be much easier to deal with hair you can updo than with a bob or some cut you have to waist time stiling....you can keep them in a comfortable bun and it will be safe and out of the way in no time!!

[bunzfan]

I am a single mum of two boys and i can tell you from experience you may have an urge to cut your hair short if you have children thinking it will make your life easier but believe me it doesn't .

When i had my first child 12 years a go i cut my APL hair in to pixie thinking it would make things easier but it didn't i always having to wash and dry it , where as i started growing my hair properly just after my second child will born two years ago i just wash it and once its dry put it straight up. Another reason its always up is the last baby loves to play and pull hair! i think my hair is now the longest its ever been and in the best condition to.

Don't let that stop you:D

[howsitgrowin'87]

Thanks for the feedback everyone :)

I hope I didn't upset anyone in saying that I'm anticipating criticism or go around asking for it. I just don't have a lot of people around me with similar hair goals or styles, and I guess people around where I live seem to be really negative about long hair (based on actual words I've heard from several people). I'm also a really timid, non-confrontational person, who actually could use a bit more back bone when standing up for myself, and I was mainly just curious too. But it is true that I shouldn't go around expecting the worst reaction from people, so I'm going to expect the best and be confident if I'm met with the worst:)

I'm so excited that I can french braid my hair now, so I know that will make it easier to handle if and when a baby comes along :)

Thanks!

[Mesmerise]

I cut my hair short about a year after my last baby was born...but umm... that's mostly cause it was part of the usual grow cut grow cycle I've been in my entire life!!

Honestly, having long hair with a baby isn't selfish, and it's usually easier and less time consuming than short, as many have said. When my hair is long it literally takes me less than a minute to do it most days (in a very simple updo style lol). When it was short it needed more effort to look good! So you could argue that having short and styled hair is more "selfish" than having long hair (:rolleyes:). Personally, I see nothing selfish about either ;). Sure you're a new mum... but geez you need time for YOU too! I don't think it's at all selfish to look after yourself as well as your baby (you're usually happier if you look good, regularly shower, do your hair however you like etc. etc. and being happier makes for a more relaxed mum!).

[skyblue]

My hair has always been any where from BS to waist while I was having babies the thought of cutting it never entered my mind, I would just braid it or put it up, I would think that would be easier than having short hair always getting in the way and in your eyes or always having to worry about it looking the way its suppose to
its much easier and less time consuming to just bun it ;)

[Thumper]

I remember when I was pregnant with my first and a girlfriend of mine said 'you know...you'll have to cut your hair very short now'..."why?" I said in a very shocked tone. "Because you just won't have the time anymore to look after it anymore".

I call BS.

I think there is a culture out there of women who do subscribe to this notion and I'm sorry, but I have NEVER been a follower and didn't play into this thinking. INVEST IN HAIR TOYS PEOPLE!

[mrs_coffee]

I cut mine short when I had my first baby. For me short hair was super easy to take care of. I washed it, put a bit of styling mud in it, messed it up with my fingers, and that was it. It dried in about 15 minutes. I don't really understand the whole "short hair is harder to take care of" argument, but I think I probably have a different definition of "short."

With my other two I kept my hair the length it was when I gave birth. I usually had it up in a ponytail so that wasn't a big deal either. It kept my hair out of the way just fine. You'll manage whatever you decide and you'll be far too busy with motherhood to pay any mind to what other people think of your hair.

[woolyleprechaun]

With my first two kiddies, I chopped off my hair to less than chin length thinking it would make life easier (I took the advise of the pregnancy books....blah blah blah...:rolleyes:) It was a terrible mistake. I had to wash, condition and blow-fry daily and even resort to straighteners sometimes. NOT low maintenance at all! how many seconds does a bun or pony take???? Tcha. Plus, Ive never had any problems with any of my four pulling or anything, whatever length Ive had. Oh, and theyve all loved this game where Ive made a hair canopy over them after a nappy change and tickled their belly. I used to do it in the sunlight and my babies were just mesmerised with the pretty dappled lights, bless:). Tell anyone whos catty about the locks to shove off!!! Its your right to have hair!!!:D

[Lilli]

I had a mommy hair cut, not b/c of peer pressure, but b/c I felt like trying short hair. It is a total pain in the butt b/c when it is short, you have to style it (my slight waviness makes short styles look really unkempt, requiring blowdrying and ironing.) When it is long, you just throw it up. Anyway, I bet the peer pressure exists b/c if a mom has long hair, the other short-hair moms are jealous. Stick to your guns, and drop any friends who would be mean. If I wear my almost-APL hair down, it is a pain in the butt b/c my fourth baby is a huge hair-grabber, but I just wear it up. He'll still sometimes grab at the roots when it is up, but it is a discipline issue, as some nice ladies here pointed out. I just treat it as I would biting the breast - a firm no and putting him away from me for a minute.

[roundforest]

My youngest is 20 months and for the first time since I was 15, I have healthy hair starting to get long - just past BSL now. I didn't really notice shedding after any pregnancy (she's the youngest of 5). People love to offer unneeded advice to new mums! Just thank them for their interest and ignore what they say. Most of it will be a load of rubbish and old wives' tales, honestly!

[GRU]

i'm 8 weeks pregnant and my only concern is something someone else mentioned in this thread (can't find it right now) - that your hair might just not be as nice during and immediately after pregnancy, so you might want a good trim just to get it under control a bit. My hair has already gone kind of yuck : / dry, flyaway, clumpy, just icky. I would never chop it all off but if it stays in this awkward stage for too long I might be tempted to cut up to waist or BSL just so there's a bit less of it hanging around. I can't wear it down right now anyway cos it looks awful, and from what I hear post-baby hair can be pretty bad too. Some people shed so badly they get bald spots :x

Hair typically stops shedding during pregnancy, then after childbirth all the hair follicles that were "paused" tend to all hit the "unpause" button at the same time, which is what results in the massive post-partum shed. But I don't see why cutting it short would make it look better -- it's still going to be thinner after the baby is born!

(Jomo, if you're not already CO-washing, give that a try -- it's GREAT for dry hair!)


I cut mine short when I had my first baby. For me short hair was super easy to take care of. I washed it, put a bit of styling mud in it, messed it up with my fingers, and that was it. It dried in about 15 minutes. I don't really understand the whole "short hair is harder to take care of" argument, but I think I probably have a different definition of "short."

With my other two I kept my hair the length it was when I gave birth. I usually had it up in a ponytail so that wasn't a big deal either. It kept my hair out of the way just fine. You'll manage whatever you decide and you'll be far too busy with motherhood to pay any mind to what other people think of your hair.

[Firefly]

I had shorter hair (shoulder length) with DS, and almost waist with DD, so I have experience with both. I can say practically, having longer hair with a baby/toddler was EASIER, in my experience. I could just quickly bun or twist it up and out of the way. Shorter it was always falling in my face and getting in the way. Socially, yeah, I often got the ambiguous "Oh, your hair is so.... long!" when I wore it down (still do, even though my two are now 13 and 11). As I mentioned recently in another thread, around here most new mothers get some sort of classic "Mom-'do" right or soon after the baby is born-- a short, layered look. I can't understand how that could possibly be easier to take care of. :confused: Easier than a ponytail? Bun? Anyway, I just ignore it. I love my hair long and think it's flattering (most days LOL), so I don't really care what other people think about it.

[GRU]

I had shorter hair (shoulder length) with DS, and almost waist with DD, so I have experience with both. I can say practically, having longer hair with a baby/toddler was EASIER, in my experience. I could just quickly bun or twist it up and out of the way. Shorter it was always falling in my face and getting in the way. Socially, yeah, I often got the ambiguous "Oh, your hair is so.... long!" when I wore it down (still do, even though my two are now 13 and 11). As I mentioned recently in another thread, around here most new mothers get some sort of classic "Mom-'do" right or soon after the baby is born-- a short, layered look. I can't understand how that could possibly be easier to take care of. :confused: Easier than a ponytail? Bun? Anyway, I just ignore it. I love my hair long and think it's flattering (most days LOL), so I don't really care what other people think about it.

quoted for truth...

[MonaLisa]

And you shouldn't care :) your hair looks wonderful and you look so young :)

[KittyLost]

My sister in law was pregnant and she had a bob at the time, whilst she was pregnant she grew her hair out and it got to APL to where she has been maintaining it as she finds it easier to deal with and with a baby. She could just tie her hair back and out the way and get on with the baby rather than wasting time she didn't have washing, drying and styling hair.

She still has APL length hair and shows no to desire to cut it or grow it longer, and my neice is now 18months old.

[Firefly]

And you shouldn't care :) your hair looks wonderful and you look so young :)

Aw, thank you MonaLisa! :flower:

[Kristamommyx3]

My hair is just plain terrible when I'm pregnant! None of that great pregnancy hair for me.. Just dull, flat stringy lifeless air. Then, after the baby is born, I shed like crazy and it's thin until at least a year after I stop nursing. That is why so many women cut, because they are disgusted and want to try to cut off the awful pregnancy hair and start over. I did it with my third, to a bob, because I had to. Now it's in great condition and has thickened up again, because it's been two years since I stopped breast feeding.





i'm 8 weeks pregnant and my only concern is something someone else mentioned in this thread (can't find it right now) - that your hair might just not be as nice during and immediately after pregnancy, so you might want a good trim just to get it under control a bit. My hair has already gone kind of yuck : / dry, flyaway, clumpy, just icky. I would never chop it all off but if it stays in this awkward stage for too long I might be tempted to cut up to waist or BSL just so there's a bit less of it hanging around. I can't wear it down right now anyway cos it looks awful, and from what I hear post-baby hair can be pretty bad too. Some people shed so badly they get bald spots :x

Of course there's no hard and fast rule, it's whatever suits you better, but I can't help but feel a lot of mums get a cut not out of some weird sense of obligation but because they just hate what the huge OD of hormones has done to their hair!

[GuardGirl]

Okay, just saying... I cut my below-BSL hair to above-shoulder when my baby was 10 months old last October, but it was because I had had a horrible postpartum shed. When it reached that length it was so sparse and stringy on the bottom that I was embarassed to wear it down, and I was sick and tired of hiding it. I reestablished some good nutritional habits and healthy haircare, and now I'm a mere 2" from BSL again, only 7 short months later. Point being, if you succomb to the 'mommy cut' it grows back. It was the right choice for me, and although I prefer my hair long, it taught me an appreciation for my hair that I didn't have while it WAS long.

[CrisDee]

This is another of the many instances where it totally depends on the particular individual's hair as to what works. One poster above said that all she had to do was scrunch and go with a short cut, but that sure doesn't work for me, unless it's UBER, pixie-short (not the mom-bob the OP referred to). If my hair were cut in the mom-bob, I would need at least 30 minutes a day to make my hair look decent - which a new mother does NOT have! :)

I had waist length hair when my DD was born (1975), and the mom-cut of the day in 1983 when DS was born. My hair looked MUCH nicer at waist length when I did nothing but wash and go. I did the wash and go in 1983 after my son was born, and just walked around looking like crap all the time - which could be one of the reasons my husband left me shortly thereafter. :undecided:

[GuardGirl]

Oh, I gotta add- while I have to agree that cutting hair that's been made thinner from post-partum shedding doesn't actually make it thicker, I had heavily layered long hair and cut it to a more blunt style. This did in fact make it look thicker on the bottom (which was the point of me cutting in the first place) and it has actually grown out much quicker in this blunt style that I've maintained. Cut if you want, don't if you don't. Seriously, if you are pressured to cut short or pressured to keep long, it will only make you unhappy if you don't do what you want. My baby pulled my hair when it was long, she pulled it when it was shorter. Don't let "hair pulling' be your motivating factor. Good luck! :)

[Lilli]

My hair is one of those that looks good while pg and doesn't go bald afterward.

[Carrie Ingalls]

I do not have any kids of my own, but I have always liked wearing my hair up when caring for children of any age (it just keeps it out of the way).

Also, I just wanted to mention a comment that I read recently in another thread around here somewhere. The topic of post pregnancy shed came up and someone mentioned how convenient it had been to have long hair that they could wear up, thus controlling where and when they shed vs. having shorter hair that shed all over everything. To me that seems like a very good argument to avoid the "mommy haircut" at least until the massive shedding ceases.

[Joliebaby]

Strangely, after having DD my hair is longest it has ever been since childhood. It felt so natural, and powerful, and feminine, just like how I felt when becoming a mother!

Babies can grab short hair too, so unless you want a shaved head or a short pixie.. it's likely to happen. And some babies are not all that grabby. I've never had much problems at all.
Also, I don't do anything special to my hair, so going to a salon every six weeks to get it cut would really have been MUCH more hassle, or actually almost impossible during the first, symbiotic months. The only time I was away from DD was when I had to go to a massage therapist due to back pain.

As it is, I wash every 5 days (or even once a week) and put it up or in a braid or a pony tail. I wear it down too but the first few months it was mostly in a ponytail day and night :)

[HuggyBear]

I don't really understand why some people think that women need to cut their hair short when they have babies. I have had 3 children and my hair has been long with all of them. I rarely even wear my hair up and I have had no problems dealing with my hair and babies.:confused:

[cubedcoley]

I am 25 weeks pregnant with second kiddo. When I saw this thread, I thought, "OOOO! Tips on keeping my hair back during labor!" hee hee.

Anyway, I had SL hair when my DD was born and will be brushing BSL when DS gets here. Yes, long hair with a kid is easier: just put it up. Anyway, I treasure how much my DD loves playing in my freshly washed hair. She will walk up behind me while I am sitting to let it dry and give me the biggest hug! She loves how it feels on her face and arms. AND! She knows she has to be nice or she will not get to play, meaning, no pulling!

[nobeltonya]

I don't really do anything with mine, so that helps.. I have 2 boys, the older of which used to think it was fun to just randomly come and pull my hair.. until I kept getting upset with him and would pull his. "See, you don't like it, do you?" Now, he's stopped. The younger one hasn't started yet, except one day he came and pulled my ponytail while I sat on the floor, but that was an isolated incident and hasn't done it since. Usually, being a stay-at-home mom, I just keep it in a ponytail. Sometimes I keep it in a bun. Otherwise, I keep having to flip it out of the way to clean also, and it gets really irritating.. or I end up soaping the ends while I'm washing dishes. :P At night, I braid it. If I had to do a lot to maintain it, I'd probably cut it off. That's one of the main reasons I grew it out in the first place, because keeping it short required frequent trims to maintain the look, otherwise it looked bad. And, I couldn't do a thing to it..

[slz]

I don't really understand why some people think that women need to cut their hair short when they have babies.
I think it's about confining them to the "mother" role and out of the "woman" role. No more sexy, no more desireable - you are a mother now :rolleyes:.

[Altocumulus]

After I had my first child, I cut my waist length hair to pixie length. I hated it instantly. It made me look 10 years older and 25 lbs heavier. Moreover, my hair color and texture had changed while I was pregnant, and I hadn't realized until I cut off nearly all of it, so it didn't behave like I thought it would when short. I was constantly struggling with it.

I didn't cut after my second was born. I found it easier to deal with than when it was short. Just put it in a braid, and it's done for the day. Hair grabbing wasn't an issue, although that might be because my glasses presented a more appealing target. :D

Do what you want. You don't have to cut your hair if you don't want to.

[PianoPlaye]

First of all, good luck! May children come to you, love you & come back to you all the years of your life.

A mummy's place is in the wrong. So you may as well hang onto your hair (and braids & buns & forks are all brilliant for that) and just cope. The "actually it saves time" arguement will be met with disbelief, despite being true.

You will get some postpartum shed - and with long hair it'll show less. The hormones will do wild things to your mood too - just don't let them steer you to the shears and a really short cut. (A happy baby on board leaves me more blissed out that I ever managed with any other substance. The downs are as savage and as temporary.)

My tombstone is going to read "It Works For Us" because everyone who comments seems to be too busy commenting to read my Tshirt.

We all do things differently, and still raise mostly healthy happy children, and we're always being told to do it differently. (The Rules as per the medical community changed [from child 1 to child 3] in 4 years which I thought was a tad harsh - so ignored them. #three seems fine, as does #one!)

Demonstrate if you want to. Tell 'em to go to Hades if you want to. Smile, and remember something baby related You Just Must Do in the next county the rest of the time. (Worked for me!)

And at nappy mat time, you always have a toy to tickle that curved tummy with, that the shorthairs plain can't. As well as a treat for the father, who might well miss those tresses if you were to try a short crop...

Being a parent is a real step up - and that you have the courage & sense to ask Now bodes well for you, your husband and your future family.
Enjoy it, as the wrinkles will come anyway!

[pittsburgpam]

I raised three children and my hair was always around BSL. I don't remember there being any problems that a ponytail or braid wouldn't solve. Yes, little hands get tangled in hair but really, a braid is simple and effective.

As to the women who would have the nerve to comment on your personal choices, a short "this works for me" is the only reply needed. And keep repeating it until they are tired of bringing it up. You're going to need to grow a thick skin against any so-called helpful advice about much more than your hair after having a baby. Every person out there seems to think that what THEY did was best and will try and convince you of that too.

[Mesmerise]

I think telling someone they need to cut their hair short when they have a baby is just as stupid as telling someone they'll need to get rid of their cats when they have a baby :confused:.

Despite having quite long hair when I was pregnant with my first child, I never, ever had anyone tell me I'd need to cut it short...but I did have someone tell me I'd need to get rid of my cats :rolleyes:. Naturally I ignored that, just as I'd ignore someone who told me I'd need short hair.

Short hair on me needs a lot more stuffing around than long...or it looks AWFUL (it can look okay... but needs to be trimmed more often etc. and therefore costs more in upkeep and stuff as well).

Besides which, if someone DID tell me that I'd be even more determined to keep long hair :D. I'm rather contrary that way!

[vindo]

I don't understand why they do it...I know their reasons, but they are not reasons to me :shrug:
I can tell you in two months how it works out for me with long hair and a baby. Once he gets grabby, the hair goes in the bun.
It's not like it has to be in a bun for the rest of my life, I can still wear it down when we go out and the grandparents watch the baby.

[QueenJoey]

"Easy Mommy haircut"? What the heck does that mean? It's your long hair, it's your future baby. I say it's no one else's buisness how you have your hair when you have a kid.

[Vespertine]

I have a four year old, a two year old a 10 week old and bsl hair. I can put it up in less than a minute. It would be so much harder for me to deal with styling shorter hair every day.

I think people assume long hair is more work because if you want to blow it out and flat iron, it is more work, but for those of us who know how to do a quick and cute updo, the long hair is easier and in my experience, harder for little fingers to grab.

I do occasionally think of cutting my hair, but not because of my kids.

[Jomo]

I do have to say though - not at all in support of having to cut your hair short, of course, but short hair doesn't HAVE to be more work. If you don't give a s**t, like I did when I had short hair, it doesn't take any time at all (which is why I had short hair in the first place, cos I didn't want to have to do any maintenance) :P And if someone's doing it purely as some kind of time saving measure, I just presume they won't be doing all that extra optional stuff to keep it looking stylish and freshly cut.

All I did when I had chin length and up hair was brush it and wash it, both of which took a lot less time than they do now. I don't really get the whole "when I have short hair, I have to blowdry and straighten and put product in it etc etc". You don't actually *have* to do those things. Your hair might not look amazing but if you have a tiny tiny baby it's probably the last thing you'll be worrying about.

[elbow chic]

I do have to say though - not at all in support of having to cut your hair short, of course, but short hair doesn't HAVE to be more work like 90% of people have said. If you don't give a s**t, like I did when I had short hair, it doesn't take any time at all :P And if someone's doing it purely as some kind of time saving measure, I just presume they won't be doing all that extra optional stuff to keep it looking stylish and freshly cut.

All I did when I had chin length and up hair was brush it and wash it, both of which took a lot less time than they do now. I don't really get the whole "when I have short hair, I have to blowdry and straighten and put product in it etc etc". You don't actually *have* to do those things. Your hair might not look amazing but if you have a tiny tiny baby it's probably the last thing you'll be worrying about.

yeah, I agree. I didn't do squat to my hair most of the time when it was bobbed, either. :p It airdried in about an hour, it looked fine. Not stylish or sexy, but my hair was the least of my concerns at that point. My flabby midsection was definitely more worrisome and the weeks of oooooozing coming from down below was even less sexy than that. :laugh:

Anyway, basically, at almost any length you can spend as much or as little time as you like on it. It's probably true that absolute minimum grooming for shorter hair is less than the bare minimum for longer hair.

I could brush my short hair in under 30 seconds then, but gentle detangling now costs me at least ten minutes.

Anyway, none of it is that big a deal. If the baby has to cry for the twenty minutes it takes to take a shower and comb/braid your hair, it won't hurt anything. (and if you can't find twenty minutes for personal care a day, you probably need to be looking for some part-time household help anyway.)

(IMO.)

-- A Cruel and Selfish Mother