What not to say about hair: foot in mouth moments

[selderon]

I colored my hair on Monday. Instead of the too-harsh black, I went with "dark golden brown", figuring that would be safe. My natural color is dark brown.

Apparently my natural color is darker brown than "dark golden brown". DH took one look at my hair and announced, "Well, that's the wrong color for you."

After I picked my teeth up off the floor, he proceeded to point out that I should choose another color next time because this one was too light and the gray hairs were even lighter than the rest of the hair.

He seemed surprised that I didn't want him to "solve" my hair color problems by telling me what was wrong with my choice unless I asked him.

Have you experienced a hair-related "open mouth, insert foot" moment recently?

[Nae]

Oh, oh!! Not a recent one, but about 10 years ago or so I decided to go a little wild with my hair and bleached two solid blonde streaks in it to frame my face. My mother saw me and got a bad case of the giggles and couldn't stop laughing for about 20 minutes. Grrr at my mom. Then I went to work and my co-worker said, "Did you mean to do that to your hair?" Grrr at my co-worker. I was not happy.

And then the hair was all dry and nasty so I was even unhappier. I am much happier since I have found the LHC lol.

[Amber_Maiden]

When I was 15, my mom bought me a box of brown hair dye (she doesn't like the red in my natural hair colour, and thinks its unnatural. Even now, since I refuse to dye it anymore, she tells people, even before I can answer them, thats its not natural, and don't they think I should dye it brown??)- anyways, the brown box of hair dye turned my hair black. She had to take me to a salon for them to "lighten it" to a dark brown. Horrible.... and it was right before prom too.

The insert foot in mouth moment came when I stepped out of the shower after dying it... Black hair + my pale skin= Goth. Not what my mom wanted... hehehehehe... I looked dead....

[Mairéad]

I have a sister. We have different natural hair colors and when we were younger (high school) she would go around telling people I dyed my hair and that it's supposed to be dark brown like hers. (I was a strawberry blonde.)

So, pretty much none of our high school friends believe me when I say this IS the color of my hair. I did start henna in college but that's beside the point.

Why my sister did this? I haven't a darn clue.

[Kherome]

My co worker suggested his wife get a haircut since she hadn't had one in awhile. She said she meant to but always put it off and forgot. He told her "You should make the time, you're starting to look like a mangy coyote. You should dye it too cause you've got a lot of grey in there."

[luxepiggy]

Someone once told me "no one has hair like yours in real life" . . . yes, yes, worry not, I'm clearly just a figment of your imagination (^(oo)^)v

[cubedcoley]

hmmm, for me it is not so much WHAT is said, but HOW it is said.... like a close relative.... "your hair has gotten so....LONG!" Clearly, nonverbals are a majority of communication, because I clearly caught that this was unacceptable in an "old" lady in her early thirties, hee hee. Soon, I will see them again, and guess what? IT'S A LOT LONGER NOW, BABY! :eyebrows:

[Red_Wednesday]

Just yesterday I decided to do something special with my hair because I had pretty much been wearing it up in a protective style for the past few weeks.

I was frantic to flat iron my hair quickly before DH got home from work as a surprise for him. So I washed, conditioned, blow fried, and then meticulously flat ironed my hair.

When DH gets home I'm still finishing up in the bathroom. My kids had mentioned to him that they saw a few ants by the doorway, so unbeknownst to me, he was busy mashing ants with his finger while I was still finishing up:eek:.

I finally step out of the bathroom and walk up to him with a smile. He turns to look at me and says, "Hey Honey, I'd hug and kiss ya, but I've got ant guts all over my hands". And that was it, he strolled off to the bathroom to remove all trace of murder.

Let's just say it will be a long time before I jump in the ring again fighting these curls for him. If I'm going to do any future heavy weight curl fights, it will be solely for me, LOL.

*He did apologize this morning though, so I guess I can't be too irritated with him...I guess:cool:.

[Annibelle]

I'm a finey and try not to wear my hair down too often... because when I do, people who know me seem shocked and say things like, "I thought your hair was APL! There's no way hair that long can fit into your tiny bun!"

[JuliaDancer]

I'm a finey and try not to wear my hair down too often... because when I do, people who know me seem shocked and say things like, "I thought your hair was APL! There's no way hair that long can fit into your tiny bun!"

Oh no! That's terrible... I'll bet they felt bad after saying that.

[Annibelle]

Oh no! That's terrible... I'll bet they felt bad after saying that.

The last person who said it was a friend, and she didn't seem to feel bad... I know she wasn't saying it to be mean-- she was just shocked, I think. I feel a little better about it because I know she's always wanted thinner hair, but it's still a bit unsettling. I've always admired huge buns. ;)

[celebriangel]

Mymum always used to hint not-so-subtly about how much my light/medium ash brown (with extra, extra ash, and pretty much no actual *colour*) didn't suit me at all, and I'd look much better in chocolate brown.

Then I dyed it red, and she was vocal about how much she disliked it.

I have yet to hear the response to its current henna'd auburn. But it's going to stay this way. I've always wanted red. For some reason, mother still thinks I'm going to go back to brown some time soon.

Oh, and she always used to nag me to brush it - often, even when I already had. With 2c/3a curls, you can imagine how well *that* went.

I have been told by other people - mostly in high school - that my hair was greasy. It probabl was (greasier than theirs) because I washed it every 3-4 days and I was going through puberty, plus with all the brushing I had greasy roots and dry frizzy ends. However, this started an obsession lasting years with getting my hair clean, which ended in me washing every. Single. Damn. Day.

These days I wash once a week, oil my hair lightly, and do Snowy's massage technique to distribute sebum down my length. I do not care if people think my hair looks greasy; since it is uniformly shiny down the length, however, there is not such a contrast between oily roots and dry ends, so I believe it actually looks less greasy than before.

Many people in high school also used to tell me to straighten my hair all the damn time. I did for a short while, infrequently, but although I liked the change once in a while it was too much effort to be done regularly. I am quite glad I now have an "excuse" to stop, even though I have left high school and people are not as rude.

Other than that, people tend not to comment. I have a well-practised death glare up my sleeve should they ever try. I imagine I will gain more comments as my hair grows - I am currently growing past the culturally acceptable maximum hair length (BSL).

[Annibelle]

Mymum always used to hint not-so-subtly about how much my light/medium ash brown (with extra, extra ash, and pretty much no actual *colour*) didn't suit me at all, and I'd look much better in chocolate brown.

Then I dyed it red, and she was vocal about how much she disliked it.

I have yet to hear the response to its current henna'd auburn. But it's going to stay this way. I've always wanted red. For some reason, mother still thinks I'm going to go back to brown some time soon.

Oh, and she always used to nag me to brush it - often, even when I already had. With 2c/3a curls, you can imagine how well *that* went.

I have been told by other people - mostly in high school - that my hair was greasy. It probabl was (greasier than theirs) because I washed it every 3-4 days and I was going through puberty, plus with all the brushing I had greasy roots and dry frizzy ends. However, this started an obsession lasting years with getting my hair clean, which ended in me washing every. Single. Damn. Day.

These days I wash once a week, oil my hair lightly, and do Snowy's massage technique to distribute sebum down my length. I do not care if people think my hair looks greasy; since it is uniformly shiny down the length, however, there is not such a contrast between oily roots and dry ends, so I believe it actually looks less greasy than before.

Many people in high school also used to tell me to straighten my hair all the damn time. I did for a short while, infrequently, but although I liked the change once in a while it was too much effort to be done regularly. I am quite glad I now have an "excuse" to stop, even though I have left high school and people are not as rude.

Other than that, people tend not to comment. I have a well-practised death glare up my sleeve should they ever try. I imagine I will gain more comments as my hair grows - I am currently growing past the culturally acceptable maximum hair length (BSL).

Your post reminded me of the ONE reason I'm considering going to my high school reunion... to show off how much better I look than I did AND to show how much better my hair looks than THEIRS, and without chemicals and heat! Of course, I'm still working on achieving that look... haha. But it will feel nice when I'm more accomplished and looking nicer than the people who used to say I'd always just be ugly white trash. :cheese:

[KittyLost]

The girls in my form at school when I was 13 were obsessed with perfectly sleek straight hair with no kinks and anything that wasn't flat-ironed to oblivion was NOT acceptable. They peer pressured me into straightening my hair on a nearly daily basis so that I didn't get abuse for being different and they made it well known if I'd done a bad job or missed a bit. It didn't matter that I looked like an idiot with flat fake looking destroyed hair plastered to my head as long as it was straight everything was okay! One day I get caught in the rain during break, soaking wet and so my natural wurls and curls come out and dry as nature intended. All I got was compliments on how lovely my hair looked and they wished their hair did that, that I had gorgeous curls and of course they all asked me "why do you straighten your hair?"

I could've punched someone. All thier snidey remarks about my hair not being straight and how stupid it looked and then one day I got caught in the rain and they love my hair! I think it helped that straight hair was starting to come out of fashion at the time. I continued to straighten my hair whenever I felt like it wasn't long enough but also gave it a rest from time to time.

[cubedcoley]

The last person who said it was a friend, and she didn't seem to feel bad... I know she wasn't saying it to be mean-- she was just shocked, I think. I feel a little better about it because I know she's always wanted thinner hair, but it's still a bit unsettling. I've always admired huge buns. ;)


HA! She probably does not "get it" that us thinnies work very very hard for our "huge buns." :eyebrows: :D

[PianoPlaye]

Why is it long hair is assumed to mean thick? Before my wedding I wore my hair up in a double loop ponytail (looked like an unpinned bun) and when I turned it loose one day my colleagues were aghast. "It's really, thin - you are wearing it up for your wedding aren't you ?!".
Thanks a bunch, ladies.

This lovely forum has so much support - I wish I'd known you were here all those years ago!

[JadeTigress]

Here's some good "wtf" hair moments.

My ex-boss pulled me back one time to yell at me about how dirty and greasy my hair was and how if I didn't start washing it I couldn't work there. I started washing my hair every day, right before I left for work in the morning, so it would be as clean as possible for this lady with horribly dry, fried, split, frizzed, unhealthy hair. I personally think that she doesn't realize what healthy hair is supposed to look like, but whatever.

The next day, on her day off, she came in long enough to bring me a bottle of shampoo and told me all about how harsh it was and that it would probably lighten my hair color.

The day after that (and I'd caught her looking at my hair that morning), she asked me if I used the shampoo she'd bought me. I told her I hadn't because it was too harsh for me, that my hair was falling out because of a medicine I'd been taking, so I didn't want to use anything harsh that might aggravate the problem.

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The reason your hair is falling out is because you don't clean it."

I repeated what I'd said about it being a side effect from medicine, and said I'd talked to my doctor about it, and the same thing had happened to my doctor when she took that medicine.

Crazy lady continued to go on about how if I would just wash my hair, I wouldn't be having any problems. I told her I'd been washing it every day, right before I left for work.

Her: "Really?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Do you use shampoo?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Really?"

Me: "Yes, I do."

Her: "Well, then you need to go find a different shampoo, because whatever you're using obviously isn't working.

Seriously, who does that? Other than this woman, apparently. She'd die if she found out I started COing and putting oils in my hair. :p

[88Marisa]

JadeTigress, WOW, that is some kind of nerve. I'm at a loss for how she thinks that is remotely acceptable behavior. It's like bringing a bottle of tablets containing tapeworms to someone because you think they need to lose weight.

[Thinthondiel]

Here's some good "wtf" hair moments.

My ex-boss pulled me back one time to yell at me about how dirty and greasy my hair was and how if I didn't start washing it I couldn't work there. I started washing my hair every day, right before I left for work in the morning, so it would be as clean as possible for this lady with horribly dry, fried, split, frizzed, unhealthy hair. I personally think that she doesn't realize what healthy hair is supposed to look like, but whatever.

The next day, on her day off, she came in long enough to bring me a bottle of shampoo and told me all about how harsh it was and that it would probably lighten my hair color.

The day after that (and I'd caught her looking at my hair that morning), she asked me if I used the shampoo she'd bought me. I told her I hadn't because it was too harsh for me, that my hair was falling out because of a medicine I'd been taking, so I didn't want to use anything harsh that might aggravate the problem.

She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The reason your hair is falling out is because you don't clean it."

I repeated what I'd said about it being a side effect from medicine, and said I'd talked to my doctor about it, and the same thing had happened to my doctor when she took that medicine.

Crazy lady continued to go on about how if I would just wash my hair, I wouldn't be having any problems. I told her I'd been washing it every day, right before I left for work.

Her: "Really?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Do you use shampoo?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Really?"

Me: "Yes, I do."

Her: "Well, then you need to go find a different shampoo, because whatever you're using obviously isn't working.

Seriously, who does that? Other than this woman, apparently. She'd die if she found out I started COing and putting oils in my hair. :p

Ugh, that woman sounds like my mother. She was not very happy about me going WO. And later, when I started using a shampoo with oils in it, she kept asking if I was really shampooing and saying it didn't look like it. My mum really only thinks my hair looks clean when it's dry/not moisturised - she thinks that just because it's sleaker/flatter than usual (i.e. not frizzy) it has to be dirty.

[PeacenQuietGal]

"You should make the time, you're starting to look like a mangy coyote. You should dye it too cause you've got a lot of grey in there."

Hahahah! Sorry, it is kinda funny?? But hopefully they are still in love! Hopefully it was said and received with playful humor!!

[Vorvolaka]

Why is it long hair is assumed to mean thick? Before my wedding I wore my hair up in a double loop ponytail (looked like an unpinned bun) and when I turned it loose one day my colleagues were aghast. "It's really, thin - you are wearing it up for your wedding aren't you ?!".
Thanks a bunch, ladies.

This lovely forum has so much support - I wish I'd known you were here all those years ago!

Yeah, I get this one. Mostly from my mum as few people see my hair down. She's always commenting that it's just too thin to have long. It's worse short Ma, believe me.

[islandboo]

I know the pain of the thinnie "disappearing hair". I put my hair up in a pinless braided bun for work today and it pretty much laid flat against the back of my head. Even I found it hard to believe it goes all the way down to my waist!

[Ermine]

Nothing in particular except that the people around me (except maybe hair stylists) don't distinguish between fine and thin hair. So they keep calling my hair thin! (no offense to those with thin hair, but I find this really annoying) Thin hair is ok if it's what you naturally have, but the way I could have thin hair is if I dyed it to oblivion, wasn't eating, pulled out my hair, or otherwise treated it/myself badly. Either way definitely not a compliment. It figures since the people making these comments always have coarser hair than me, but my hair has a medium thickness, I swear!

[GRU]

Y'all are making me sooooo glad I don't have a mother anymore! :D

[Alex Lou]

When I was 15, my mom bought me a box of brown hair dye (she doesn't like the red in my natural hair colour, and thinks its unnatural. Even now, since I refuse to dye it anymore, she tells people, even before I can answer them, thats its not natural, and don't they think I should dye it brown??)
Okay, a bunch of these stories are totally wtf, but Amber Maiden's most of all. What does your mom have against red hair? Why does she lie to people about your color? This disturbs me ...

[GRU]

And does anyone else see the irony that her mom thinks her NATURAL hair color is UNNATURAL??? :rolleyes:

Like I said, I am sooooo glad I don't have a mother anymore!

[MonaLisa]

Don't tell me my hair is dead, rawrr :P

[Ashenputtel]

Everytime I grow back my natural dark ash blonde hair, some of my friends comment on how much lighter beige blonde looks better on me. That my hair looks gray and it's a weird color.

Wow thanks guys, keep killing your scalp and throwing your money out of the window, I won't bleach my hair ever again.

[Annibelle]

Everytime I grow back my natural dark ash blonde hair, some of my friends comment on how much lighter beige blonde looks better on me. That my hair looks gray and it's a weird color.

Wow thanks guys, keep killing your scalp and throwing your money out of the window, I won't bleach my hair ever again.

I love ash tones! Your friends can say whatever they want-- your LHC friends will admire your pretty hair anyway!

[silverstars]

My hair is a dark brown. Once in high school I had the bright idea that I wanted bright blond streaks in my hair instead of highlights. I literally had stripes.....when I got home, my brother told me I looked like a skunk :p

[Viscountess]

Over Valentines day this past february, I was tasked with working with two Prosecutors on a very nasty spousal homicide. We were in court for three days straight - as a non lawyer I could cross the bar with leave, but I dont wear court dress (robes). This level of court is very, VERY formal. I wore a black suit,and had my hair up in a twist every day.

The Senior Crown Prosecutor mentioned to me at the court break that "you wear your hair like my grandmother".

out of the blue. Just like that.

I really didn't know what to say.

Mind you, I've been in the courtroom where the female judge asked the female crown prosecutor to take her hair out of her ponytail as her honour deemed it 'unprofessional'.

[Ribbon]

Most of you have given moments of other people sticking their foot in the mouths. I did it once. I was in high school and had hair to waist. My mom suggested that I'd look cute with short hair and I said, "Oh, no, mom, I don't want my hair short. I can't stand the thought of looking like you!" My mom fortunately didn't get too mad, but she said, "Well, aren't you glad you inherited your dad's big nose then!"

[Allychan]

I went out to dinner with a group of girlfriends. One lass is 10yrs my junior and is 'hung up' on my lack of style. I let the group know I was growing my hair to my waist. Honestly she nearly climbed over the table to strangle me, she kept telling me at my age, my hair type, my face shape blah blah blah all these reasons why it is totally unacceptable for me to grow my hair long. Later in the night one of the other girls mentioned this girl had said I look like a witch!
The funny thing is I don't look like I am nudging 40 and often assumed to be in my late 20's. I think she has a bad case of the 'green eyed monster'

[young&reckless]

Okay, a bunch of these stories are totally wtf, but Amber Maiden's most of all. What does your mom have against red hair? Why does she lie to people about your color? This disturbs me ...

My mom hates red hair. Never could tell me why.

[Mairéad]

When I was younger my sister had a friend who hated red hair and called me ugly day is and day out.

[Charlotte:)]

Someone once told me "no one has hair like yours in real life" . . . yes, yes, worry not, I'm clearly just a figment of your imagination (^(oo)^)v

Oh, how I WISH people said that kind of stuff about my hair!

But luckily I don't get a lot of negative comments about my hair :)

[Elistariel]

Years ago when I had sun-in hair, my Gran frequently reminded me that I looked like the B**ms because of it. My mom's mom was a B**m and a lot of them were red-heads. My Gran didn't care for that side of the family at all. (Never would say why). My response was something like, "Genetics" or "I AM related to them you know."
When my Gran holds a grudge, she holds it for-ev-er.
btw B**m isn't a bad word, I just did it for privacy.

[angelthadiva]

About 2.5 years ago I just decided to stop coloring my hair all together cold turkey. I obviously have a lot of outgrowth, but I bit the bullet and just let my hair grow. I had several plans for this outgrowth. First, I'd do micro trims to keep the ends cleaned up until my hair got to an acceptable length for a larger chop. I have been growing out face framing layers and also bleaching damage for a few years now and my longest layer was at about hip length. My hair at the time was at just past classic length. A guy I know through marriage came up to me, touched my head and began telling me what *he* thought I should do as far as coloring. I let him finish, but told him that grey is a color and I have no intentions of coloring my hair again and just walked away. He hasn't brought it up again since.

As an aside, I did kind of recently do my larger chop. My hair is TBL now and my ends are closer to blunt than they have been in years. I do miss my length, but I don't miss the taper one bit! I have a new co-worker who is also a former hair dresser who said my hair is the healthiest she has ever seen for a person who has hair as long as mine :)

[Talula]

This thread reminds me of a line I always remember from the show "Ally McBeal".... where one of the pretty but catty lawyers says to Ally, "Oh, I love what you're trying to do with your hair!"

Some TV stuff just sticks with you! I loved that show.:)

[Panth]

Over Valentines day this past february, I was tasked with working with two Prosecutors on a very nasty spousal homicide. We were in court for three days straight - as a non lawyer I could cross the bar with leave, but I dont wear court dress (robes). This level of court is very, VERY formal. I wore a black suit,and had my hair up in a twist every day.

The Senior Crown Prosecutor mentioned to me at the court break that "you wear your hair like my grandmother".

out of the blue. Just like that.

I really didn't know what to say.

Mind you, I've been in the courtroom where the female judge asked the female crown prosecutor to take her hair out of her ponytail as her honour deemed it 'unprofessional'.

Well, personally, even if it wasn't meant that way, I'd take it as a compliment. Means your hair looks like awesome Victorian/Edwardian ladies who didn't ever have to think about learning to do buns and stuff because it was still part of common knowledge.

[Mesmerise]

Most of you have given moments of other people sticking their foot in the mouths. I did it once. I was in high school and had hair to waist. My mom suggested that I'd look cute with short hair and I said, "Oh, no, mom, I don't want my hair short. I can't stand the thought of looking like you!" My mom fortunately didn't get too mad, but she said, "Well, aren't you glad you inherited your dad's big nose then!"


I just have to say... that was a GREAT comeback line!!

[2peasinapod]

I think this one qualifies. I was talking with a family member. We were talking about skin care, makeup, and other girly things. I asked how to properly clean makeup brushes, and she told me to run it under warm water with a bit of shampoo. Then, she stopped and said "oh, you don't use shampoo". I told her I did, and she said "well, when you said you were growing your hair out, I just assumed you would use real soap and shampoo". I have chemical sensitivities, so I use organic soap and shampoo.

Another time, I mentioned that because my hair is so thick, I sometimes have trouble reaching the scalp when I wash it. She suggested I use shampoo. It's hard to get the tone across on the internet, but it definitely wasn't complimentary.

She also doesn't like my waves. The one time I let her comb it was a disaster. She tried to use a hair comb that was a decorative one instead of a real one. She pulled so hard I thought my hair would break, and when she was done, my hair was straight and my scalp throbbed. She looked proud of herself and couldn't understand why I was upset (or why I never let her touch my hair again :rolleyes:).

The ironic part is, her hair is naturally wavy (same pattern as mine, though not as thick), and she's the one who introduced me to the concept of washing once every two weeks. :shrug:

On the upside, everyone else I know seems to like (or not notice :p) my hair! :)

[angelshair]

My sister thinks I'm a total freak since I CO, and she is kind enough to remind me often of how ridiculous my "strange ideas" are. I wish I hadn't told her. Other than that I only hear that it's too short. My best male friend once told me that I was "lacking in femininity" because I can't grow my hair long. The longest I have ever managed is a little past APL. He tried to backpedal after that and I think it was kind of a joke but still, I had been unsuccessfully struggling to grow my hair without LHC for almost a year and I will never ever forget that comment. Hopefully, now I can prove him wrong.

[rusika1]

When I was 15, my mom bought me a box of brown hair dye (she doesn't like the red in my natural hair colour, and thinks its unnatural. Even now, since I refuse to dye it anymore, she tells people, even before I can answer them, thats its not natural, and don't they think I should dye it brown??)

Have you ever considered calling her out on this as she's doing it? Something like, "Well, we all have disappointments in life. Yours is that you gave birth to a redhead. Mine is that my mother can't just love me the way I am." Or "Mom. I'm sorry that you're embarrassed that you handed down the family's red hair genes, but I like my natural color. Stop treating me like a redecorating project!) Say it with a smile, and in a slightly joking manner, and keep on saying it until she gets the point.

[k8tea]

My family has curls and waves in one form or another and people are always commenting one way or another about them...my daughter happened to mention to me recently that in high school some girl said to her that her hair looked like the girl in the "Grudge" movie...my daughter is immune to insults and answers "cool". Yesterday I drove my son and a friend (both fourteen) to a game store...while riding there my son mentions he needs a haircut...his friend chimes in with "you should get your hair straightened too sometime". I said curly/wavy is cool too just take a look at all those 80's rockbands...my son replies "we're in the 20 teens now!" Oh well I tried...

[QMacrocarpa]

Years ago my boss's boss asked me if I cut my own hair (which I did), and not in a "Wow, you're a resourceful inspiration to us all, and perhaps you can advise me on how to cut my own hair too!" way. No, more the other way. :p Whenever I think of it now, I wish I had had the presence of mind to reply "Only my hairdresser knows for sure!" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clairol) :D