Help me with my unmanageable hair... Save it!

[Amber_Maiden]

My hair is not behaving.... beyond not behaving. :(

After my wedding (in May) I went and got 6in chopped off (and that a big deal, because it was past my waist, and I hate cutting mu hair :( ) because they were just too dry/damaged. I've been using henna, various conditioning masks from Snob Girls and Phyto. I used to use hair masks from Lush, but they have SLS in them (and I'm allergic).

My hair is very very thick... The thickest hair most hairdressers say they have every seen. It sucks up oil... so I put tons in it to weigh it down. At least 4 tablespoons a week. I also only wash it once a week... because its such a hassle... It forms dreadlocks in the shower. I have to brush my hair while its still wet, after my shower, to get the tangles out, and while I do it, it forms dreadlocks and new tangles- like its alive :thud: While I sleep it also forms new tangles. Most of the time I have to brush my hair twice a day, to get it to behave... or at least look presentable. :thud: Hence using the oil.... it weighs it down and makes it more manageable... It's also very dry hair... with very dry ends... which just look morse... like it looks... badly taken care of- just 2 weeks after getting 6 inches cut off!:confused: The oil doesn't help...

Additional info: It grows like a weed. very very fast. It's slightly wavy. I take vitamins. I'm a vegan.... I don't use anything that doesn't have things I can pronounce in it. I have to you use more than half a bottle of conditioner each time I wash my hair. I put oil in while it's still wet. I use a brush, by Goody, because combs get stuck. Its the best brush I've ever had... I have to still rip the brush through my hair though... I try to work at my ends first though... :(

Help??? I want it to look... good...

I'm open to natural product suggestions, ideas, and would love to know if anyone else has the same type of hair as me and what they do!

Here are pictures of it looking ok (The 1st pic is the most recent... the 2nd is from 2 years ago... the 3rd from last year).
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=7971

[BrightEyes7]

Based on the information that you provided it sounds as though you may a little too rough with the detangling.

These articles may have some information you may find informative.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44

[Alvrodul]

I am a straightie myself, and I hope some of the curlies will come and weigh in, since you might be curlier than you think! Curlies tend to have success with COwashing (conditioner only), so you could look into that. Also perhaps WO (water only).
The dryness - that could be a symptom of buildup, which means you need to clarify. Ordinarily I would recommend a SLS shampoo for this, but since you are allergic, that is out. An alternative would be a baking powder wash, but since I have never tried that myself, I don't have a clue!
Your hair may also need moisture. My hair loves SMTs, but since you are a vegan, you will need to tweak the recipe for that. Perhaps using molasses or glycerine instead of honey? I know that glycerine at least is a humectant.
Also look into the oils you use on your hair. Coconut oil have the effect of preventing protein loss from the hair, so if you use that it can give you symptoms of protein overload, and the dryness and tangliness sounds like it could be that as well.
And as for brushing - most curlies/wavies tend to do better with a good seamless comb instead of a brush for detangling.

I hope you find a solution for your hair woes! Good luck! :flower:

[Amber_Maiden]

Thank you Brighteyes7 (I will check out the threads!)

Thank you Alvrodul! I'm not using coconut oil- just aragon, and evoo... So it's not that :)
I'll check out combs... Maybe a bone one wouldn't hurt as much? (I'm not opposed to bone, as I'm part native) but I remember how much it used to hurt to use them... :/ Currently it takes me an hour or two just to brush my hair (and thats without breaks!).

[Alvrodul]

If you shop online, may I suggest these (http://cgi.ebay.com/Two-Prof-Detangler-Hand-Made-Bone-Comb-seamless-comb-/380333681424?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item588da76b10)? I have a set of combs like this, and they are my favorites!:)

[Anje]

Honestly, I would suggest you start with the basics.

Clarify, using a solution of 1 Tablespoon baking soda (bicarb, if you prefer) per cup of water. Follow that with a dilute vinegar rinse. (SLS shampoos are also good for clarifying, but with the allergy, you'll have to go this route.) Your hair may feel good or awful at this point... bear with me.

Mix up a blend like an SMT for moisture. You'll have to modify that a bit to make it vegan. My suggestion would be to use a protein-free conditioner (I like Suave -- cheap and effective) and molasses or corn syrup, plus a decent drizzle of olive oil (since your hair sucks up oil). Aloe's a good addition to the SMT, but it can be problematic and difficult to find, so feel free to skip it. Apply to hair, bag it and leave it on your hair for maybe an hour, then rinse out.

[Amber_Maiden]

Those combs look awesome Alvrodul!!! I'll order one tonight! :D

Anje, I'll do that tonight!!! :)

[selderon]

Keep us posted on your progress. As a 1b/1c and a neophyte, I'm afraid I can't be terribly helpful. Like Alvrodul, I think your troubles sound similar to some curlies who were curlier than they realized. Take heart! These problems can be conquered!

[Nera]

I see where you're coming from. I also consider my hair to be highly unmenageable and I also have the dreadlock forming problem, with no solution. It sounds like you're doing a lot of things right. I also take extremely good care of my hair, but still it feels and looks damaged to me. It took me a while to accept the fact that this 'damaged' sort of look and feel, has been part of my hair texture all my life, and probably will be all my life. It took me 5 years to grow from shoulder to waist due to my rough texture. And sometimes I'm still questioning weather I should or should not go all natural, and let it dread up. So maybe, and of course I don't know if that's the case with your hair, the rough texure is just a genetic thing and you can't change it.

One more piece of advice I have is not to dry your hair with a towel, but to use something smoother like a scarf or a t-shirt

And remember that henna can also dry out hair.

That's really all I can think about right now, but I atleast you should know that you're not alone!

[alyanna]

Well my hair is not at all thick, but it is a 2b/2c and the problems you are describing seem typical of those with curly hair.

You should visit the wurly/curly thread and also the condionter-only washing thread. There's some very valuable advice in there that I think you could really benefit from.

It sounds to me like you need to take a different approach to you hair.

Having said that, you hair is absolutely magnificent! And you're a pretty girl too! I envy your hair :p

[ravenreed]

I have similar problems with tangles. I am a wavy and some of my hairs are very coarse. I brush my hair 4 or 5 times a day to keep the knots away. My hair tangles when it is in a bun or a braid, so as soon as I take it down, I have to brush it.

Keeping my ends constantly trimmed helps. I microtrim and S & D constantly because any splits or bends are more likely to cause tangles. I do oil, but not much because my hair attracts lint when it is heavily oiled and that leads to more tangles as well. I prefer a Tangle Teezer to combs, by the way. I brush before I CO to reduce shedding and tangling in the shower and I brush again as soon as I get out. Tangles allowed to dry in my hair will be there forever. I find that using a slippy conditioner on my ends helps more than oiling when it comes to detangling. I prefer the GVP Conditioning Balm for this.

[bella77]

I also was going to suggest the Tangle Teezer. I know GRU has really curly hair and she loves hers! I do think a clarifying is in order and then moisture, moisture and more moisture. My hair is fine, but dry and tends to frizz. I have been using evoo in a mister bottle with distilled water and it has really helped. Also- oiling either using coconut or argan or even evoo then instead of washing it out- plop a whole lotta conditioner- cone free only on while it's dry, rub it in really well and let sit while you shower, rub your scalp really well once you are ready to rinse, apply more conditioner for a second time and then leave a little in- so don't rinse until hair feels clean- only until it feels smooth and silky. Then use your towel to blot the excess conditioner out- use your comb/brush of choice for detangling and then let it air dry. I hope you have some success. It really is trial and error.

[Firefox7275]

If you are vegan are you getting sufficient essential fatty acids and healthy fats generally in your diet? The human body can only convert ~10% of short-chain omega-3s from raw vegetable oils to the useable long chain format. That is often not factored into supplement regimes. Another vote for your hair being curlier than you think, in which case many wurly and curlies find brushing only makes it presentable temporarily then worse than you started. :(

As I understand it oils can seal moisture into your hair, but they are not a humectant nor necessarily emollient/ lubricant in small doses. Personally I find them impossible to distribute evenly, with your hair this could be the same for you? Perhaps switch to a conditioner with a lot of slip and do all your detangling in the shower with fingers then a VERY wide-tooth comb then a Tangle Teezer. You may have to section your hair to get the whole lot detangled. Then use a leave-in conditioner rather than a rinse-out, or ensure you don't rinse thoroughly.

My guess is Fructis Triple Nutrition conditioner is not vegan-friendly (Garnier plus palm oil :o) but that contains plenty of oil and can be used as a leave-in, perhaps your current product is likewise? Some people use conditioner neat others dilute with water to make distribution easier, again you may want to apply in sections. Coconut oil is supposed to be the best for absorption into the hair, and can successfully be added to make light conditioners richer. If you do go the leave-in conditioner route don't touch your hair until it is bone dry as it will go through a horrible sticky/ tangly phase which will tempt damaging brushing ...

I know all this because I arrived at LHC by ripping through damp wurly hair with a brush then stressing with a 24/7 hair elastic! :p My hair became more manageable and less poofy as soon as I stopped treating it like it was straight.

[Lollipop]

As far as detangling, I like to work through al the knots while my hair is drenched in conditioner (I CO). I remember when I felt like my hair was just trying to eat my face, and I'm not even iii. Good luck :)

[Madora]

If you have thick hair, you have to be much more patient with your detangling methods! I've had very thick hair most of my life and usually dreaded when shampoo time came around.

This pic dates from 1988:

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w225/07Erzbet/1988lrg.jpg

Hair is weakest when it is wet! If you brush it when wet, you'll have damage like you wouldn't believe.

To detangle, use a wide tooth comb. Slather your hair with conditioner and detangle from the ends of the strands up to the scalp. Go SLOWLY. Never, ever, use a brush!

There's also a correct way to shampoo and rinse to avoid tangles. The more control you have over your hair during the shampooing/rinsing/detangling/airdrying sessions, the better.

Also, if you don't already, to protect your delicate ends and hair in general, wear it UP. Avoiding tangles/snarls is half the battle in achieving beautiful long hair!

[Safira]

I have thick, hard to handle and tangly hair. If my hair tangles very much, I use protein treatment and after that, I use moisturizing treatment + oils. That usually works. Not all the time, and when my hair is impossible, I use silicones.

Some oils do make my hair more tangled and I found out that coconut oil do that.

Madora, you have awesome hair:thud:

[Madora]

@Safira,

Thanks for your sweet comment! Alas, my hair isn't that thick now. Time marches on!:)

[Nera]

I also agree with Lollipop! Detangling hair when soaked in conditioner is the only way for me. Also, Madora is right about detangling when wet, but for curlier people it's really the only way, as you will find most curlies being unable to comb dry hair. Or even when I straighten my hair, I can't comb it when it's dry. Just too much hair and not enough slip.

[Anje]

How's it behaving now, Amber Maiden?

[Kristamommyx3]

My hair belonged to the tangly club for most of my life. Here's my suggested method for detangling....spray on your favorite detangler of whatever ingredients you favor on a two inch section of hair at a time. Gently separate this section from the rest of your hair and starting at the bottom, slowly and gingerly comb or brush all of the tangles out until smooth. Twist this section lightly and clip it up and out of the way. Repeat this process from one side to the other until all of your air has been untangled and is clipped up. From there, you could let it all down and not touch it again, leaving the separate sections to dry separately, or slowly add a little more down, brushing together as you add each new section. I also think that you should try the CO method, if your hair is dry.

[SpeakingEZ]

I have to agree with Madora about wearing it up. If you have to brush twice a day on top of your shower routine, that's a lot of work and damage-- damage that causes more tangles! I think it's time for you to start braiding and bunning. I think your thick hair would look awesome with double braids!

[Joliebaby]

Well, my hair is way and extremely thick as well, and I wash once a week usually as my hair doesn't get dirty, but it's quite manageable (unless I have damaged ends, then it tangles).

I second the clarifying as well, build-up can cause the ends to stick together. I find that slightly wetting my hair every night in the shower gives it a lot of moisture and makes it softer, as I wash so rarely. I also use a few drops of wheat germ oil approx. every other night after wetting it. What I mean by slightly wetting is that I go through my hair with wet hands until all of it is damp. (NOT sopping wet by any means. It takes a long time to dry and I'm happy I don't have to wash it often.)

[Amber_Maiden]

If you have thick hair, you have to be much more patient with your detangling methods! I've had very thick hair most of my life and usually dreaded when shampoo time came around.


http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w225/07Erzbet/1988lrg.jpg


Thats EXACTLY what my hair looks like- except a bit more wavy. I'll start doing everything you say! :) Thank you!

[Amber_Maiden]

I also was going to suggest the Tangle Teezer. I know GRU has really curly hair and she loves hers! I do think a clarifying is in order and then moisture, moisture and more moisture. My hair is fine, but dry and tends to frizz. I have been using evoo in a mister bottle with distilled water and it has really helped. Also- oiling either using coconut or argan or even evoo then instead of washing it out- plop a whole lotta conditioner- cone free only on while it's dry, rub it in really well and let sit while you shower, rub your scalp really well once you are ready to rinse, apply more conditioner for a second time and then leave a little in- so don't rinse until hair feels clean- only until it feels smooth and silky. Then use your towel to blot the excess conditioner out- use your comb/brush of choice for detangling and then let it air dry. I hope you have some success. It really is trial and error.

I'll try that definitely. Thank you! :)

[Amber_Maiden]

I see where you're coming from. I also consider my hair to be highly unmenageable and I also have the dreadlock forming problem, with no solution. It sounds like you're doing a lot of things right. I also take extremely good care of my hair, but still it feels and looks damaged to me. It took me a while to accept the fact that this 'damaged' sort of look and feel, has been part of my hair texture all my life, and probably will be all my life. It took me 5 years to grow from shoulder to waist due to my rough texture. And sometimes I'm still questioning weather I should or should not go all natural, and let it dread up. So maybe, and of course I don't know if that's the case with your hair, the rough texure is just a genetic thing and you can't change it.

One more piece of advice I have is not to dry your hair with a towel, but to use something smoother like a scarf or a t-shirt

And remember that henna can also dry out hair.

That's really all I can think about right now, but I atleast you should know that you're not alone!

I've recently started drying my hair with my husbands t-shirts (shhhhh... he doesn't know!) and it really does seem to help! I'll keep doing it.... GRRRRRR genetics and damaged hair... My mom has almost the same hair as me, but minus the curls, and she has always kept hers short because of it. :/

[Amber_Maiden]

How's it behaving now, Amber Maiden?

I did the MTR last night- my hair feels much better, but I think I'm going to have to do it a few times in a row to get it to feel completely better, and after that do it at least once a week! Thank you so much for all the advice Anje! :)

[alyanna]

If you have thick hair, you have to be much more patient with your detangling methods! I've had very thick hair most of my life and usually dreaded when shampoo time came around.

This pic dates from 1988:

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w225/07Erzbet/1988lrg.jpg

Hair is weakest when it is wet! If you brush it when wet, you'll have damage like you wouldn't believe.

To detangle, use a wide tooth comb. Slather your hair with conditioner and detangle from the ends of the strands up to the scalp. Go SLOWLY. Never, ever, use a brush!

There's also a correct way to shampoo and rinse to avoid tangles. The more control you have over your hair during the shampooing/rinsing/detangling/airdrying sessions, the better.

Also, if you don't already, to protect your delicate ends and hair in general, wear it UP. Avoiding tangles/snarls is half the battle in achieving beautiful long hair!


HolyCanoly Madora! What a picture!

Completely out of this world!

[Amber_Maiden]

My hair belonged to the tangly club for most of my life. Here's my suggested method for detangling....spray on your favorite detangler of whatever ingredients you favor on a two inch section of hair at a time. Gently separate this section from the rest of your hair and starting at the bottom, slowly and gingerly comb or brush all of the tangles out until smooth. Twist this section lightly and clip it up and out of the way. Repeat this process from one side to the other until all of your air has been untangled and is clipped up. From there, you could let it all down and not touch it again, leaving the separate sections to dry separately, or slowly add a little more down, brushing together as you add each new section. I also think that you should try the CO method, if your hair is dry.

I think I'll try condition shampoo condition first, who knows... it might help! But if it doesn't I'm going to have to just CO.

[Issmene]

I can't help you on the tangles, I brush my hair twice a day too, otherwise it looks messy, but I have no damage from that, but I do also have that damaging feel to my hair sometimes, I think this is just because it is coarse. What my hair loves is aloe vera gel as leave-in every day or something else that has moisture in it. Too much oil can build up on my hair too and leave it brittle.

[Anje]

I'd suggest only repeating the moisture treatment that regularly. The baking soda step removes buildup, but it's definitely a bit harsh to use regularly. Save it for when your hair is acting weird or doesn't seem to respond to treatments.

[Alvrodul]

Good to hear that your hair is better! Here is to further improvement! :toast:

[Amber_Maiden]

I have to agree with Madora about wearing it up. If you have to brush twice a day on top of your shower routine, that's a lot of work and damage-- damage that causes more tangles! I think it's time for you to start braiding and bunning. I think your thick hair would look awesome with double braids!

Haha! Thanks SpeakingEZ! :D I'll have to learn how... somewhere...

[Safira]

I'd suggest only repeating the moisture treatment that regularly. The baking soda step removes buildup, but it's definitely a bit harsh to use regularly. Save it for when your hair is acting weird or doesn't seem to respond to treatments.

That too: clarifying. I use Joico chelating when my hair is extremely weird. It removes minerals too, so it´s worth its price!

I used baking soda too, but my hair didn´t like it: hair got tangled like crazy, even that baking soda did remove everything off my hair.

[Anje]

I used baking soda too, but my hair didn´t like it: hair got tangled like crazy, even that baking soda did remove everything off my hair.
Oh, I hate clarifying with baking soda. But if one's allergic to SLS, it's the easiest option.

[Safira]

Oh, I hate clarifying with baking soda. But if one's allergic to SLS, it's the easiest option.

Are you allergic to SLS? How did you noticed? What kind of symptomes did you have?

[Amber_Maiden]

Are you allergic to SLS? How did you noticed? What kind of symptomes did you have?

yes, I'm allergic to SLS. I found out I was when I changed to a SLS free shampoo and then changed back to an SLS shampoo- The time I had been using the SLS free poo, I'd had no pimples in my hairline, but I changed back to the SLS poo, they came back. It took me months to realize what was going on. It was the same with my toothpaste, I'd always had bumps around my mouth, but as soon as I changed to an SLS free they went away... So hence, allergic.

I'm happy I know now :D :p

[Safira]

yes, I'm allergic to SLS. I found out I was when I changed to a SLS free shampoo and then changed back to an SLS shampoo- The time I had been using the SLS free poo, I'd had no pimples in my hairline, but I changed back to the SLS poo, they came back. It took me months to realize what was going on. It was the same with my toothpaste, I'd always had bumps around my mouth, but as soon as I changed to an SLS free they went away... So hence, allergic.

I'm happy I know now :D :p

I´m sure you are. And I´m glad that you´ve found your way to clean up your hair without SLS. Good for you!

I´m not allergic to silicones, but if I use them at my face, I get huge pimples. And they are like they wont show up, they are underneath my skin. I used all kind of antibiotics. But when I stopped using silicones at my face, pimples are gone.
And when I use silicones, pimples are back.

[Amber_Maiden]

I´m sure you are. And I´m glad that you´ve found your way to clean up your hair without SLS. Good for you!

I´m not allergic to silicones, but if I use them at my face, I get huge pimples. And they are like they wont show up, they are underneath my skin. I used all kind of antibiotics. But when I stopped using silicones at my face, pimples are gone.
And when I use silicones, pimples are back.

It's weird isn't it what affects different people? I wish their were more options that were SLS free, but I'm ok with my hippie CO and Poo :) I don't like silicons either, I avoid them like the plague.

[Alvrodul]

I have some allergies myself, but usually they aren't anything worse than a nuisance. But unfortunately they aren't something I can escape - I am allergic to pollen and animals, mainly - but those allergies have made me quite careful about both what I eat and what is in the products I use. And it was fear of developing an allergy that made me start using henna. I suppose I could have gone all natural, but I like the color of my hennaed hair, and I like the other effects the henna has on my hair as well.

[WittyWordsmith]

I throw in yet another vote that your hair is probably quite curly. When you are able to absorb more info, maybe check out livecurlylivefree.com (maybe pick up the ebook, it's worth it) and learn some more about your coarse, curly hair.

My biggest suggestion is for you to leave a nice amount of conditioner in your hair after you've cleaned it. As much as it will soak in, actually. While it's totally wet after washing, just scrunch a nice palmful (or more) back into the length, and keep scrunching until it sounds like wet seaweed. Then scrunch out the extra water as much as you can before drying.

The truth is that your hair will only soak in as much as it needs, so when you go to dry it with the t-shirt, it will expel a lot of the excess into the shirt.

You may feel once it's dry that there's some left in there, BUT you may find that it actually soaked much of it up and your hair will definitely respond to the moisture. Like said above, it's trial and error to figure out just how much your hair wants and if it may want you to rinse off some of the excess before drying or add more in.

I use Suave Naturals for my second/leave-in conditioner, and my hair adores it.

I also second the suggestion to only comb while the conditioner is in your hair, soaking wet. If you end up leaving conditioner in, it will help keep it from tangling once you're out of the shower anyway.

As hard as it is at the beginning of all of this, it does get better once you start to understand what your hair really wants from you!

[Safira]

Witty Worfsmith I think I will too follow your advice. I use leave-in, but not that much, just a tiny tiny bit. Maybe I should use more.

(didn´t mean to hijack this topic, I´m sorry)

Amber-Maiden: even I get pimples with silicones in my face, I use silicones at my lenghts. But maybe I used too little conditioner to leave-in. One good oil I´m using and I think it´s good, is Argain Oil.
Sometimes I get tangles with coconut oil and olive oil. Argain oil is so light that it doesen´t cause me tangles. Maybe you should try with your leave-ins? And for face Argain oil is awesome..

[Amber_Maiden]

Witty Worfsmith I think I will too follow your advice. I use leave-in, but not that much, just a tiny tiny bit. Maybe I should use more.

(didn´t mean to hijack this topic, I´m sorry)

Amber-Maiden: even I get pimples with silicones in my face, I use silicones at my lenghts. But maybe I used too little conditioner to leave-in. One good oil I´m using and I think it´s good, is Argain Oil.
Sometimes I get tangles with coconut oil and olive oil. Argain oil is so light that it doesen´t cause me tangles. Maybe you should try with your leave-ins? And for face Argain oil is awesome..

Safira, do you mean Argan oil? If so, I'm using it!!! :D

[lacefrost]

I second everything else people have said and I do want to ask: do you wear your hair up at all? Wearing it up will help cut down on tangles. My hair is super tangle prone and will always be that way. I find putting it in braids (maybe for you, just a single braid) helps a lot. If you can put that braid up in a bun, even better. Do you wear your hair loose at night? Most people on LHC detangle before bed and put it in a braid. It helps with tangles. Do you sleep on a satin pillow case? That helps the hair slide better, which cuts down on tangles, frizzies, etc.

I have really coarse hair and really dry hair and so my hair, even healthy, naturally feels "rough". What helps me is putting olive oil in my hair before I wash. Washing only once a week. Wetting it daily (while it's still in braids so it can't tangle more) for moisture. Doing my super awesome moisture mask: banana, olive oil and honey. <<Only thing that's ever worked. When my hair is acting up and I don't know why, I do baking soda and ACV rinses.

I hope that helps!

[Amber_Maiden]

I second everything else people have said and I do want to ask: do you wear your hair up at all? Wearing it up will help cut down on tangles. My hair is super tangle prone and will always be that way. I find putting it in braids (maybe for you, just a single braid) helps a lot. If you can put that braid up in a bun, even better. Do you wear your hair loose at night? Most people on LHC detangle before bed and put it in a braid. It helps with tangles. Do you sleep on a satin pillow case? That helps the hair slide better, which cuts down on tangles, frizzies, etc.

I have really coarse hair and really dry hair and so my hair, even healthy, naturally feels "rough". What helps me is putting olive oil in my hair before I wash. Washing only once a week. Wetting it daily (while it's still in braids so it can't tangle more) for moisture. Doing my super awesome moisture mask: banana, olive oil and honey. <<Only thing that's ever worked. When my hair is acting up and I don't know why, I do baking soda and ACV rinses.

I hope that helps!

Thanks for the info Lacefrost!
I actually do wear my hair up most of the time (its just easier), and it really does cut down on tangles.
I'll have to get a satin pillowcase... anything that will help I will do...
I love love your hair btw! Its amazing!!!

[PeonyGarden]

Just thought I'd pop in with how I detangle my hair.

In the shower. I separate my hair into two strands (one on either side of my shoulders). With my fingers I gently separate one of the sections into 3 smaller sections. I take a bit of conditioner on my hands and run it down the length of the smaller section, and then gently detangle with a wide tooth comb. Repeat for the rest of the sections until the entire head is detangled. Then I finish soaping etc, and just before I get out I rinse the conditioner out, careful to not upset the combed strands (I don't rub or massage to get the conditioner out, I just let the water run through the hair).

I also notice that if I use a lot of oil my hair tends to stick to itself and become more tangled. I agree with a clarifying process, and there have been a number of helpful suggestions on here.

Hope that helps and best of luck with your hair!

[Safira]

Oh, and sometimes it helps when I avoid polyquats and glycerin. I can use glycerin only when it´s spring, winter and autumn. At summer I can´t use, my hair gets very dry.
Also mineral oil makes my hair very tangled.