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WaitingSoLong
June 2nd, 2011, 06:11 AM
So I noticed the other day that almost all the long hair sightings I have IRL are of unkempt hair. The lengths I am seeing are usually between waist and TBL, sometimes to classic but they are scraggly, unhealthy and often uncombed (usually in a ponytail). I am wondering why? If long hair is too much to maintain for them, why have it? I am not being judgmental but am perplexed. Some of these I just stare at and think how wondering a detangling and a good conditioning would do for them, that their hair could be thud worthy if only they put some effort into it.

I know it is just hair. And if it was few and far between I would probably not think about it much. But it seems like it is the majority around here of what I see in past waist lengths. :confused:

rena
June 2nd, 2011, 06:16 AM
Maybe they just honestly do not know what to do for it, but really like having the length, so they keep it, probably thinking that it being long is all that is important. The best example I can think of is from reading some posts from other members telling about how they were looking for ways to make their hair grow faster when they found this site, and only after that, became concerned about the quality of their hair as well.

Lilli
June 2nd, 2011, 06:53 AM
I dunno but I think it is people with hair like this who make other people say "Long hair is gross." :mad:

Tuntenut
June 2nd, 2011, 06:57 AM
I'm thinking that that wither they don't really care and hair is something that's just there, or they don't know better. We all know that the secret to long hair is to not cut off growth, but we also know that that isn't all. If a person just stops cutting their hair, but continues with the same daily shampoo and little to no conditioner routine that they've always done, it will probably show when it gets longer.

I just had the thought that maybe they think it's supposed to look like that? You said yourself that most of the long hair you see IRL isn't in tip top shape, and that's my experience too. It was only when I started researching it that I saw that long hair can look better than any shampoo commercial if well cared for. So unless you're the kind of raving lunatic who spends hours researching long hair care on the internet (when you should clearly be comitted to a high security mental institution) chances are you don't know how long, healthy hair should look or feel.

On a side note, the idea that some people have about long hair being "dowdy, ugly and dull" isn't always just envy or spite. If all the long hair I had ever resembled the dry, matted, split-to-the-root horrorstories that I've read about, I would probably feel the same way.

Delila
June 2nd, 2011, 06:58 AM
All it takes for my hair to go from reasonably well-groomed to unkempt is a simple breeze. That's why I seldom wear in down in public.

Messy hair isn't necessarily a sign that the person doesn't care.

GeoJ
June 2nd, 2011, 07:12 AM
All it takes for my hair to go from reasonably well-groomed to unkempt is a simple breeze. That's why I seldom wear in down in public.

Messy hair isn't necessarily a sign that the person doesn't care.


Same here! I also had a major bad shed, so although my hair is healthy to the ends, most people wouldn't see it that way because of the bad taper I have right now.

embee
June 2nd, 2011, 07:33 AM
My area of the country also has unkempt longhairs. There aren't all that many longhairs, but only a very few have what I'd consider well kept hair.

Nobody would know with mine as it's always up unless it's drying. ;)

ladyfey
June 2nd, 2011, 07:46 AM
Maybe they like it that way, it's nobody's business but their own. They are not here to decorate any one else's world.

Venefica
June 2nd, 2011, 07:52 AM
I have hair that I can keep in two braids, rolled up in a bun and it still manages to tangle, I do not know how, probably as a nod to another thread going on here at the forum, because it is magic, I have no other explanation. :P Anyway it happens that I just need to run to the store for something or I forgot an appointment and I roll my hair, tangles and all into a big, black, messy ball that resemble a black hole and put a elastic or two to hold it and out the door I go.

I think that often when you see someone with untidy hair it is because they did not have the time to fix it that day.

pepperminttea
June 2nd, 2011, 08:00 AM
All it takes for my hair to go from reasonably well-groomed to unkempt is a simple breeze. That's why I seldom wear in down in public.

Messy hair isn't necessarily a sign that the person doesn't care.

Same. Sometimes it just happens even when I stay inside, if I dare move my head enough times that tangles happen.

elbow chic
June 2nd, 2011, 08:01 AM
yeah, some people just are super tanglicious (I am, lol)

but I also see people whose hair looks pretty neglected and I don't think it's just a matter of "didn't have time to fix it this morning." More like several years of not fixing it that morning. So I know what you mean.

Sometimes I actually think it's more a matter of just not being bothered about hair at all. Either because of poverty/overwork or just having different priorities in life or some combo of the above.

If you can't afford, or choose not to, get haircuts or figure out conditioning regimes or do gentle detangling and protective styling, then of course what you generally wind up with is a pretty roughed-up ponytail.

eta: And then sometimes I think people get really attached to their hair but plain old don't know how to deal with it. Everyone around them going, "argh, get a haircut!" and they really really don't want to but don't know what else to do. Some of those really neglected looking heads remind me of my hair when my parents made us wash our hair with dish-soap and NO CONDITIONER. yick!

(They saw something on tv about how shampoo and dish detergent are made from a lot of the same ingredients, so they replaced the bottle of Herbal Essences with the cheapest dish soap they could get from Wal-Mart. thanks guys!)

to each her own!

apynip
June 2nd, 2011, 08:14 AM
I've seen long hair like that and some of them grow it for religion and cannot cut or trim it so if they have split ends at all well... they have splits forever really. I know a few who had left the church to move to a different denomination and cut their hair to a more reasonable length to get out the damage and they grew their hair longer and it looked a lot better.

Others like a friends mother she just uses benign neglect and has no desire to keep up with it or care for it. She smokes and drinks and the only healthy thing she does for it is put it up with a scrunchy instead of a metal band pony tail.

Some its religion some its just not wanting to take the time to care for it.

And yea I have friends who have prejudices against long hair because of one of those types of people until I sit them down and explain what I do to my hair to keep it healthy and then they are more ok with it. ( also they want me to start fixing their fried and frizzy bleached for years hair) :D

bte
June 2nd, 2011, 08:18 AM
Ithink a lot is in the eye of the beholder. One person's "unkempt" may be another person's "fairytale ends" or "free flowing".

Angeletti
June 2nd, 2011, 08:23 AM
I always worry that people will think that of my hair when I'm out and about because my hair has a natural tendency to string together from being a 1a/F if I don't brush it every second. Lately I've seen a lot of people around my area who have a lot of damage from hair straighteners or other heat devices.

SimplyViki
June 2nd, 2011, 08:35 AM
My profile pic was snapped moments before my hair became unkempt looking. Tangles happen!

Babyfine
June 2nd, 2011, 08:44 AM
All it takes for my hair to go from reasonably well-groomed to unkempt is a simple breeze. That's why I seldom wear in down in public.

Messy hair isn't necessarily a sign that the person doesn't care.

Same here. When my wavy, thin hair got below BSL, it had a habit of looking unkempt after 5 minutes of wearing it down, hence it was up all the time.

Ravenwind
June 2nd, 2011, 08:49 AM
Messy hair might not be a sign that the person doesn't care, we all have messy hair at some point, but I've seen girls around here who have long but seriously damaged hair. People will want to have long hair and despite the quality of it, they won't cut it at all.

Scarlet_Heart
June 2nd, 2011, 09:08 AM
No, I know what she means. For some reason, I always see this at Walmart. Long hair that is just totally unkempt, scraggly, not just tangled. I know just what she's talking about.

But hey, these people maybe can't spend a lot on hair care or maybe they don't like to trim/cut it but they don't feel like spending the time either. It's just an observation. Not a judgement. Everyone's priorities are different and not everyone cares so much about the condition of their hair.

Kisa
June 2nd, 2011, 09:27 AM
That could be a description of my hair one year ago. I had long hair, around hip length, but didn't know anything about hair care. I dyed it, trimmed it about once a year, straightened it about every day. I didn't even think about the QUALITY of my hair... Till I found LHC! Wich I'm so glad for!

sun-kissed
June 2nd, 2011, 09:30 AM
I see that a lot too, and it really bothers me. But mostly because I know if my hair was ever that long, I would baby it. :p

As for why they let their hair get that way, I'm not sure if it's a matter of not having the right resources and information, time, money, or hair type. It's their hair, so if they're happy with it being broken but long, that's okay with me.

Panth
June 2nd, 2011, 09:34 AM
Meh, that was me a year ago, probably. I love my long hair and I love wearing it loose. However, I wore it loose every day and it tangles easily and is fine and was TB. And I never had the time or inclination to comb it multiple times a day. So, yeah, to lots of people it probably looked awful.

Part of that, though, was not knowing how to do anything other than an english plait or a ponytail and knowing that anything other than a nape plait/ponytail would be unbearably uncomfortable. Now I can do buns. Importantly, now I can do buns quickly and easily with a single hairfork.

Previously I'd have had no idea how to do that, no idea where to get the fork, no place to get the fork (seeing as the shops here don't have that sort of thing - I got my everyday one from the swap board).

Kleis
June 2nd, 2011, 09:38 AM
Heck, that's me *right now*. I'll comb it out when I get to work. Deal.

Fufu
June 2nd, 2011, 09:47 AM
Maybe, giving benefit of doubt, it was only that moment you saw them with untidy hair as there was a strong wind that messed up their hair or perhaps just for that day they are taking a break not to do anything with their hair.

Personally, I feel that having long, healthy and tidy hair definitely needs to put in time and effort. Having gorgeous healthy long hair is not easy, and I do can understand why some people will decide to chop off the hair to maintain a shorter hair length for fuss-free maintenance.

HintOfMint
June 2nd, 2011, 09:54 AM
All it takes for my hair to go from reasonably well-groomed to unkempt is a simple breeze. That's why I seldom wear in down in public.

Messy hair isn't necessarily a sign that the person doesn't care.

Same here. Also, this past winter was BRUTAL and yes, it took a toll on my hair. I tried everything under the sun, eventually going back to cones, but it took a while because I had no idea how to deal with that kind of weather. I had lived in California and New Orleans for the last 13 years, and making the shift to New York winters caused some problems for my hair. So, yes, for a few months, my hair looked haggard as hell. But it didn't mean that I didn't care or didn't try.

EvaSimone
June 2nd, 2011, 09:56 AM
I think their is a difference between windblown or needs a quick combing and hair that has splits going up six or twelve inches with most of it at different lengths because of breakage and looking very dry and tangly. My hair looks like number one sometimes but never number two. My take on the OP's statement was that she was talking about the second type of long hairs.

I think for a lot of people it's about convenience, they simply don't care to cut their hair but it's not because they necessarily want long hair they just can't be bothered. I had a coworker like this, she had waist length long hair that was very damaged and almost always looked like a rats nest. I witnessed her ripping through it with a brush more than once and it definitely showed that she didn't care for it gently besides a shampoo and condition. She once complained about her hair and I gently gave her a few tips which she refused to follow for various reasons. So I think a lot of unkempt long hairs fall into this category.

QueenJoey
June 2nd, 2011, 09:58 AM
Very long hair should be so beautiful, but it's not a majority of the time. It's a shame, because many girls (including myself) would love to have such long hair, and the people who do have it don't even care about it.

Kleis
June 2nd, 2011, 10:04 AM
But you still have to remember, some people, no matter how much they've tried the hair obsession thing (i.e., me) will still and always have splits up and down the hair.

The only way I don't have splits like you've described is to spend literally an hour a day on S&D, not stopping beyond a few days at a time. I've gotten to that point, but seriously? Not worth it. My hair just tangles easily, looks unkempt easily, and splits easily. This does not mean I'm doing anything wrong, unless people consider a refusal to devote huge amounts of time to sitting under a light with scissors; it's just what it is.

Kleis
June 2nd, 2011, 10:05 AM
Very long hair should be so beautiful, but it's not a majority of the time. It's a shame, because many girls (including myself) would love to have such long hair, and the people who do have it don't even care about it.

...you assume. Seriously, grow it out to your thighs and see for yourself.

mulletesque
June 2nd, 2011, 10:14 AM
I am doing WO at the moment and my hair is sebum-coated to the tips (chin+ length) and I am a little self-concious that people will think that I am being unhygienic or otherwise poorly groomed.

But the somewhat ironic thing is, my hair actually is staying in place and might actually look better-groomed in that way. When I S&C daily, a little breeze leaves my hair looking very unkempt, and I always have short hairs sticking up and out all over.

When you can see the comb marks in someone's hair all day, is it an indication of good grooming or poor grooming? Hey, at least people can tell I comb it. :wigtongue

MsBubbles
June 2nd, 2011, 10:20 AM
I have this deep-rooted fear that people see my hair if I wear it down and think it's 'unkempt'. Fine, straight, thin, tangly. I employ as many hair-preserving methods as I can, and it has helped my hair look thicker and less ratty, compared with its former self! I spend a lot of time looking after it, yet still if I wear it down after 20 mins of combing it, it's looking ratty again because it's thin, fine, and separates.

I will probably *never* have long, thick, swishy ends that stay together and therefore don't look unkempt, but I do like having my hair long for those handful of minutes when I let it out of a bun and it holds together like it's thick :).

PS: my hair is so fine and thin that I can't even do fun ponytails (half ups, or those with other strands wrapped around it with the shortened pony poking through) because my hair looks even thinner and stragglier in ponytails. And yes at that point to the rest of the world it probably looks unkempt.

Ashenputtel
June 2nd, 2011, 10:24 AM
...you assume. Seriously, grow it out to your thighs and see for yourself.
I've browsed trough your album and you hair is amazing. That's definitively what I don't think about when I think unkempt.

I think what she meant is that some long hair seems to to a lot of bad thing to their hair (heat styling and brushing with those nasty brushes) and it shows. My hair is also a tangle mess and it's much much short and leyered.

PianoPlaye
June 2nd, 2011, 10:31 AM
As someone whose hair might well have met your criteria until recently (other than the fact I live with it in a braid for simplicity) it could be honest ignorance.
Until I started reading TLHC I had no idea what I was doing to my hair, brushing it wet amongst many other nasty vices which, now I know they are Wrong, I have foresworn. :joy:
That it is BSL despite my abuse I regard as a gentle hint that if I put the care & effort in, I may yet get to sit on it... In another 3 years of real care, as opposed to other things on my mind inadvertent neglect. The plan is to try for three years, see how it goes & then decide whether to go on, or crop it back to a loads healthier BSL...

akuamoonmaui
June 2nd, 2011, 10:55 AM
I think its more than just hair that is tangled, it's how people present themselves. If you're dressed like you don't care about yourself, naturally how ever you wear your hair will play into that image, too.

I also don't think it is a lack of money because we know Suave and V05 are great inexpensive, quality products. If you want to care for your hair, there are options no matter what the budget.

Unfortunately, because long hair can be unusual or specific(I'm thinking religious affiliation) depending on where you live, it can create a stereotype (don't we love those). At LHC too, we are more aware of long hair and so "see" long hairs probably before non-long hairs.

Panth
June 2nd, 2011, 11:28 AM
But you still have to remember, some people, no matter how much they've tried the hair obsession thing (i.e., me) will still and always have splits up and down the hair.

Snap! :D

Except mine are hiding in a bun now. I has secret hair. That way no one knows if it's unkempt or not. :p

Ginny Mae
June 2nd, 2011, 11:30 AM
A lot of people I've seen who fall into this category (frazzled, dull and completely lifeless looking long hair) tend to be teenagers or students so I can't really blame them for it - I think they already have enough to deal with at that age! But I agree that it doesn't help the whole "image" of long hair in general. Then again, I see plenty of older people with horribly damaged looking hair that's shoulder-length or shorter. Short doesn't always equal healthy either!

Maybe the unkempt long hairs that people are seeing are unkempt partly because they leave their hair down or in a ponytail rather than bunned? Just a thought since for people to know that they had long hair in the first place they would have to be wearing it loose (and I say that as someone who incurably leaves my hair down EVERY SINGLE DAY! I do tie it up if I go out in the wind - promise!)

WaitingSoLong
June 2nd, 2011, 11:33 AM
Maybe they like it that way, it's nobody's business but their own. They are not here to decorate any one else's world.

I figured someone would have this response. Here's the thing...can't you just TELL when someone doesn't care? I am wondering WHY people have long hair and don't care for it. I never questioned their right to it and I never set any beauty standard for them.


Ithink a lot is in the eye of the beholder. One person's "unkempt" may be another person's "fairytale ends" or "free flowing".

Ok, no way FTE's and neglected hair are in the same place.


No, I know what she means. For some reason, I always see this at Walmart. Long hair that is just totally unkempt, scraggly, not just tangled. I know just what she's talking about.

But hey, these people maybe can't spend a lot on hair care or maybe they don't like to trim/cut it but they don't feel like spending the time either. It's just an observation. Not a judgement. Everyone's priorities are different and not everyone cares so much about the condition of their hair.

Exactly. And Wal-Mart pretty much is where I see it because I spend a lot of time there. It is a love hate relationship. I cannot affford to shop anywhere else.


Heck, that's me *right now*. I'll comb it out when I get to work. Deal.

Hmmm, No.
This is not hair that needs a comb after waking. This is hair that probably hasn't been combed in days or even weeks. You can tell it has been unwashed, it SMELLS unwashed. Honestly, it is the look of poverty. I used to be in poverty and I know not everyone who is impoverished does not care for their appearance BUT it is a fact that a lot ARE like that. I actually feel a bit sorry for them. It is the look of total defeat, years of total defeat hanging on their outsides. It is a whole body look, not just hair (which is always the first thing I look at).

And now that I think about it, the rest of them was pretty much unkempt, too.

Anytime someone makes a visual observation and voices it, they are at risk of being accused of being petty or superficial. Whatever. Hey, we all look different. Am I supposed to pretend we don't? But some people's choices are baffling to me. I would never try to change them, but I am curious. I once asked 50 questions of my neice who is into piercings. I am not against piercings. I just don't understand her choices so I asked. I now have a new respect for pierced people. Since I don't have the platform to ask someone this particular time, I thought I would ask "public opinion" here on LHC. Curiosity does not equal judgment.

I totally understand health issues. Hair is pretty low on the list when your bones ache through and just GETTING toWal-Mart is a chore. But the people to which I am referring seem to truly not care or put any effort into their hair, not even detangling. Maybe they do have health issues. Maybe it is a coincidence I see large numbers of the same type of hair. They are all around the same age, too, now that I ponder a bit more. I would say, late 40's to 60ish. Or maybe they look older than they are. "careworn" comes to mind. Or I am wondering if that is just a "type" of people around here and it is perfectly accepted. Their clothes are often dirty, I am thinking it is perhaps an overall hygiene issue possibly caused by health issues. I know some people simply do not "see" their own hygiene. :shrug:

I am not judging them. Everyone has reasons for who they are. I am just curious. I like some of the answers offered, that they are reluctant to let it go, or simply don't know any better.

As for splits...that is no excuse. I have tons of splits. I refuse to S&D (btdt). I can still manage my hair. My hair tangles easily, too. There are simple free or cheap ways to deal with tangles. For one, I secure my pony every 6" or so with an elastic. I won't wear my hair loose on a windy day. Braids. :shrug: I spend a grand total of 5 minutes a day (if that) on my hair except on wash days.

I have totally been to town without brushing my hair before. I was sick and going after meds or simply too tired/busy to care that day. Trust me, there is a difference between not enough time and a long-term lifestyle of hair neglect.

Amraann
June 2nd, 2011, 11:38 AM
I am sure to some my hair would seem unkept for their taste.
Because it is TBL layered with fairy tale ends and wavy.

I really do not care what others think of my hair. It is always clean.

Kleis
June 2nd, 2011, 11:40 AM
I've browsed trough your album and you hair is amazing. That's definitively what I don't think about when I think unkempt.

I think what she meant is that some long hair seems to to a lot of bad thing to their hair (heat styling and brushing with those nasty brushes) and it shows. My hair is also a tangle mess and it's much much short and leyered.

Thank you! :flower: But, um, understand that if I post a photo online, it's after extensive grooming. :lol:

tigereye
June 2nd, 2011, 11:51 AM
I think it can be a combination of things:
1) the person may not care about their hair, but when it gets that long, I don't think there are many who don't bother at all with making their hair look good
OR
2) They don't know any better, ie. They don't know about oil and such, or bad hair-tyes with metal bits, or how bad the hairfryer is, or the goodness of S&Ding
OR
3) They are treating their hair nicely, but they haven't found out exactly what their hair needs.
OR
4) They are treating their hair well, but they have a taper going on, or shorter layers growing out.
OR
5) They simply have fairytale ends (Which I actually quite like, just not on my own hair)
OR
6) The weather is just being nasty to them that day.

See: lots of explanations. I think the only one with a major problem is the one who doesn't care. The ones who fall into category 2 at least care. They just don't know. I mean how many of us knew all the good and bad things before we came here. Maybe someday we'll see some of them over here. Category 3 people can get it fixed once they find the right stuff for their hair. Category 4 tends to be a question of time and growth. Category 5 is personal preference, and category 6 is temporary...

SimplyViki
June 2nd, 2011, 12:05 PM
My hair can look unkempt after a bad wash. Sometimes the particular combination of shampoo, conditioner, and whatever oil/butter/serum I chose that wash just didn't work out so well, and I'm not so concerned that I'll re-wash it. But yeah, that can result in dry, tangly hair, and yes, I do have some lingering damage from highlights years and years ago. I have splits, but I can't be bothered to S&D (it bugs my eyes).

My hair doesn't look half bad when it's either up in a do of some kind, or after a good wash and careful combing and arranging, and that's the only way it shows in the photos I post here. On the days that I do wear it down after a "bad" wash, the impression is probably that I don't care. And it's probably true at that particular moment. :shrug: I know it doesn't look great, and I don't really care. It looks good at other times, it doesn't need to look good all the time.

McFearless
June 2nd, 2011, 12:05 PM
Who said it is hard for them to maintain? Conditioned and detangled hair is not everybody's goal. Some just want length. Some don't get the chance to trim. Some want the weight of hair but not the maintenance.

MsBubbles
June 2nd, 2011, 12:08 PM
Funny thing about this topic is that there seems to be a spectrum of beholding. I mean, I used to stare in horror and shake my head at previous bleach blondes who are letting their mid-brown hair grow out, and have a great big demarcation line at their neck level. I used to think "Don't they know that if they just chopped it off at the virgin level and started again that they'd look so much better?!". Now here I am with coincidentally fashionable ombre hair and am much more tolerant of people's roots.

I have also become much more tolerant or appreciative of other people's long, albeit straggly, hair (because it's like mine!).

But still I live in fear of others secretly thinking my ends are sad and sorry.

Ashenputtel
June 2nd, 2011, 12:10 PM
Waitingsolong has a good point. I think some of those people just gave up on life and on their look.

MsBubbles
June 2nd, 2011, 12:14 PM
Waitingsolong has a good point. I think some of those people just gave up on life and on their look.

But it's a slippery slope...along the spectrum of not giving up on life and looks, who's to say what's 'giving up' and what isn't? I remember in the 80s, some silly magazine article pointing out how the then middle-aged Joan Collins looked great, but it wasn't an accident. They pointed out that she had no calluses on her heels, and other things like painted fingernails & toenails. Does that mean if I have callused heels (I do!) and don't have fake salon fingernails, that I have let myself go? Not necessarily! So it's a tricky subject that is in danger of verging into being judgmental.

People tend to get defensive in judgmental-sounding subjects. I hope this makes sense! :flower:

HairStickler
June 2nd, 2011, 12:46 PM
But it's a slippery slope...along the spectrum of not giving up on life and looks, who's to say what's 'giving up' and what isn't? I remember in the 80s, some silly magazine article pointing out how the then middle-aged Joan Collins looked great, but it wasn't an accident. They pointed out that she had no calluses on her heels, and other things like painted fingernails & toenails. Does that mean if I have callused heels (I do!) and don't have fake salon fingernails, that I have let myself go? Not necessarily! So it's a tricky subject that is in danger of verging into being judgmental.

People tend to get defensive in judgmental-sounding subjects. I hope this makes sense! :flower:

I was thinking the same thing. Someone could easily look at my feet with their calluses or my plain fingernails and think that I have let myself go. To me, these things are just not important and I take care of myself in ways that are important to me (hair, diet, skincare, etc.).

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2011, 12:53 PM
I saw some amazing knee length hair running loose at Walmart not too long ago. There were fairytale ends but the fairytaling wasn't consistent. There was a big section in the center that was significantly shorter than the rest of the hair. To some folks it would have looked very unkempt. Thanks to LHC I recognized it for what it was. It isn't my favorite look but I can certainly admire the effort that went into growing that much hair.

alyanna
June 2nd, 2011, 01:37 PM
I think some hair types tend to look unkept. Mine's an example. It's a mix of wurly, curly, clumps. When it's long, it kind of has a bohemian/hippie look about it, no matter what I do to it really. Unless I blowfry it straight.

It's a lot easier to look "done" I think when your hair is pin straight.

Part of the reason why, when I had my two kids in a row, I cut my hair short, got some blonde highlights and blowdried every time I washed. I thought if the rest of me didn't look so hot, at least my hair looked "kept".

Now I'm back to my skinny, stylin' self, and kind of miss the look of long, messy hair :D

alyanna
June 2nd, 2011, 01:43 PM
No, I know what she means. For some reason, I always see this at Walmart. Long hair that is just totally unkempt, scraggly, not just tangled. I know just what she's talking about.


Haha! Hilarious Walmart comment! :D
I also am amazed by some of the characters I see at this store. It's a weird demographic in my neck of the woods.

And for that reason, I go to walmart practically in my pyjamas.

alyanna
June 2nd, 2011, 01:46 PM
Waitingsolong has a good point. I think some of those people just gave up on life and on their look.


And you know what? Sometimes, something's gotta give. I'd rather give up on my hair, then my kids, or my family, or my work. Some people are just not into their outward appearance, and I have a lot of respect for those people. You gotta admit, these forums are for the (at least slightly) hair-obsessed, and hair is nothin' but dead cells.

Sorry, I just came back from the children's hospital today, and man, it's not a happy place. Seeing some of the parents there caring for their *very* sick kids just puts everything into perspective.

hyettf16
June 2nd, 2011, 01:46 PM
I see plenty of people who have short hair who look like they let themselves go.

Ashenputtel
June 2nd, 2011, 01:48 PM
But it's a slippery slope...along the spectrum of not giving up on life and looks, who's to say what's 'giving up' and what isn't? I remember in the 80s, some silly magazine article pointing out how the then middle-aged Joan Collins looked great, but it wasn't an accident. They pointed out that she had no calluses on her heels, and other things like painted fingernails & toenails. Does that mean if I have callused heels (I do!) and don't have fake salon fingernails, that I have let myself go? Not necessarily! So it's a tricky subject that is in danger of verging into being judgmental.

People tend to get defensive in judgmental-sounding subjects. I hope this makes sense! :flower:

I also have callused heels and my nails aren't always perfect. I'm not talking about somebody who hasn't the "done" look, I'm taking about the people who are in really bad condition and also often smell bad. The extreme cases.

I think everybody is beautiful in their own way and you don't need to have perfect hair, nail or make up. But in some cases, like I said they've giving up on a very basic hygiene.


I was thinking the same thing. Someone could easily look at my feet with their calluses or my plain fingernails and think that I have let myself go. To me, these things are just not important and I take care of myself in ways that are important to me (hair, diet, skincare, etc.).

elbow chic
June 2nd, 2011, 01:54 PM
sometimes you see that super-unkempt look on people who use too many drugs. Sorry if that sounds mean. :(

Ha! Wal-Mart! Sometimes I up the ante on looking like a freak when I go there. Yeah, dressing up to go to Wal-Mart. Gotta have your fun where you can get it, and I don't want to develop a meth habit of my own.

Toadstool
June 2nd, 2011, 02:02 PM
When my friend is unwell (she is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia) she stops remembering to wash. At one point she had very long hair which she didn't take care of. She didn't have any interest in having long hair, it was just a matter of self neglect that she didn't get it cut.

share801
June 2nd, 2011, 02:04 PM
How many times on here do we encourage people to do microtrims to get rid of damage instead of a "big chop"? Do you think some would say that damage looks "bad"?

Most of us are a work-in-progress for one reason or another.

IcarusBride
June 2nd, 2011, 02:08 PM
I think my hair looks pretty nasty after an hour or so of wearing it down. It tangles and stuff. Plus it is rather thin on the ends.

nellreno
June 2nd, 2011, 02:36 PM
Actually OP, you are being judgemental.

My hair is extremely damaged right now, I have about 27 inches of damage to grow out. If I leave it down it tangles and gets frizzy and messy-looking, worse if it's a busy day. Should I hide my hair just so some stranger doesn't get offended that my hair doesn't look perfect? No.

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2011, 02:48 PM
I am a wavy. When I use SLS shampoos, I get out of control hair. Every little short hair fuzzes up and I have a halo of frizz. I never straightened my hair and blow drying only increased the problem. It is one reason I grew my hair out. When my hair is longer, it weighs down the problem hairs somewhat. I always have a few wiry escapees, but because of the longer hair along with CO-ing, they are the exception rather than the rule.


I think some hair types tend to look unkept. Mine's an example. It's a mix of wurly, curly, clumps. When it's long, it kind of has a bohemian/hippie look about it, no matter what I do to it really. Unless I blowfry it straight.

It's a lot easier to look "done" I think when your hair is pin straight.

Part of the reason why, when I had my two kids in a row, I cut my hair short, got some blonde highlights and blowdried every time I washed. I thought if the rest of me didn't look so hot, at least my hair looked "kept".

Now I'm back to my skinny, stylin' self, and kind of miss the look of long, messy hair :D

DorothyAtForty
June 2nd, 2011, 03:05 PM
My hair looks horrible down, I have to admit. I am trying to grow damage out. When I'm having a good day (ie: I can lift my arms up to wash or braid my hair), I'll fix my hair up all nice and purdy. I'm thinking perhaps most folks don't have as much of a hair obsession as we do, or figure they're just going to be in and out of the store so why bother. :flower:

Spring
June 2nd, 2011, 04:03 PM
Walmart is pretty interesting :), but thankfully most of the hair I see there looks like regular hair that has gone a few hours since being combed. Thank goodness for buns :D

selderon
June 2nd, 2011, 04:14 PM
Some of those really neglected looking heads remind me of my hair when my parents made us wash our hair with dish-soap and NO CONDITIONER. yick!

(They saw something on tv about how shampoo and dish detergent are made from a lot of the same ingredients, so they replaced the bottle of Herbal Essences with the cheapest dish soap they could get from Wal-Mart. thanks guys!)

PeeWee Herman and Shemar Moore :thud: are made from a lot of the same ingredients. That doesn't make the result identical.


I has secret hair. That way no one knows if it's unkempt or not. :p
:wigtongueMe too!


I saw some amazing knee length hair running loose at Walmart not too long ago. There were fairytale ends but the fairytaling wasn't consistent. There was a big section in the center that was significantly shorter than the rest of the hair. To some folks it would have looked very unkempt. Thanks to LHC I recognized it for what it was.
Er. What was it? My secret decoder ring hasn't arrived yet.

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2011, 04:20 PM
One of the female workers had her hair down. It was black with streaks of silver and the longest hairs were definitely down to her knees. I do see knee length hair here and there where I live. It isn't a length I aspire to, but I do appreciate the effort that such hair requires. Who knows, I might change my mind. I never thought I would be approaching classic and here I am about 2 inches away.


snipped...


Er. What was it? My secret decoder ring hasn't arrived yet.

alyanna
June 2nd, 2011, 04:21 PM
I am a wavy. When I use SLS shampoos, I get out of control hair. Every little short hair fuzzes up and I have a halo of frizz. I never straightened my hair and blow drying only increased the problem. It is one reason I grew my hair out. When my hair is longer, it weighs down the problem hairs somewhat. I always have a few wiry escapees, but because of the longer hair along with CO-ing, they are the exception rather than the rule.


Here's to hopin' ravenreed! I definitely did NOT know about CO-ing before coming to LHC. Now that I'm on that bandwagon, I'm really hoping that my hair will be long AND look "kept" :p

But when I did have long hair, I was informed enough not to blowdry AT ALL. I took relatively good care of my hair, but I certainly have a few more tricks up my sleeve now thanks to these boards.

And I do agree, having longer (and layerless!) hair does help me weigh things down a bit. I also find my thin hair looks thicker and more lush once it hits APL and beyond.

selderon
June 2nd, 2011, 04:23 PM
One of the female workers had her hair down. It was black with streaks of silver and the longest hairs were definitely down to her knees. I do see knee length hair here and there where I live. It isn't a length I aspire to, but I do appreciate the effort that such hair requires. Who knows, I might change my mind. I never thought I would be approaching classic and here I am about 2 inches away.

Yeah, but why was part of it shorter than the rest? That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm not visualizing it right.

berr
June 2nd, 2011, 04:25 PM
Wow. Just wow. I think rather than defend my hair or the choice to wear it long (after all I am long past the proper childhood age of long hair) I'll just chop it all off.

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2011, 04:27 PM
I still have my layers. I got them when my hair was shorter because otherwise I ended up with "Triangle Head." Not a good look. I keep them for several reasons. I think they work alright for me because as a wavy my ends are never doing the same thing anyway so layers hide this better. :p My hair has ALWAYS had a mind of its own!

I do think some types of hair might look less unkempt with a blunt hemline. It is one of those things you have to figure out for your own hair.



Here's to hopin' ravenreed! I definitely did NOT know about CO-ing before coming to LHC. Now that I'm on that bandwagon, I'm really hoping that my hair will be long AND look "kept" :p

But when I did have long hair, I was informed enough not to blowdry AT ALL. I took relatively good care of my hair, but I certainly have a few more tricks up my sleeve now thanks to these boards.

And I do agree, having longer (and layerless!) hair does help me weigh things down a bit. I also find my thin hair looks thicker and more lush once it hits APL and beyond.

Copasetic
June 2nd, 2011, 04:32 PM
Maybe they like it that way, it's nobody's business but their own. They are not here to decorate any one else's world.

I totally agree. A lot of people look at long hair ( in any condition) and label it "unkempt" or "messy."

I have met more than one person who thinks that my hair is curly because I can't be bothered to brush it.

MsBubbles
June 2nd, 2011, 05:12 PM
I also have callused heels and my nails aren't always perfect. I'm not talking about somebody who hasn't the "done" look, I'm taking about the people who are in really bad condition and also often smell bad. The extreme cases.
I think everybody is beautiful in their own way and you don't need to have perfect hair, nail or make up. But in some cases, like I said they've giving up on a very basic hygiene.

I wasn't attacking what you were saying. Just trying to point out that in a thread with a judgmental vibe of any kind, people are going to get defensive, since there is no uniform rule book on what constitutes 'giving up' on one's appearance. It makes some of us nervous, like: "She could be talking about me!!".

I also want to add that I don't think WaitingSoLong meant anything bad with this thread and that she is also aware that we all have less than stellar hair when we're not posing for the LHC shots! After all, she started the less than perfect hair thread. It's just this is a really tricky subject.


Yeah, but why was part of it shorter than the rest? That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm not visualizing it right.

I think Ravenreed was describing a W shaped hemline, perhaps? Or the opposite of a V or fairy-tail shaped ends. So not your perfect U or straight across cut. I know what Ravenreed means. Mine would do that if I never trimmed it. It's not thick enough to look uniform, and therefore would look ratty, damaged and uncared for (even if it's not).

Mesmerise
June 2nd, 2011, 05:17 PM
Yeah, but why was part of it shorter than the rest? That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm not visualizing it right.

I would assume that it's because she hadn't cut her hair for awhile and thus the ends were uneven? There are some people who don't cut their hair at all, and they often end up with a few strands that are a lot longer than the rest (really extreme fairytail ends!).

MsBubbles
June 2nd, 2011, 05:22 PM
I see plenty of people who have short hair who look like they let themselves go.

Ok this is a brilliant comeback, which I am going to remember if anybody IRL ever suggests that I've let myself go because my hair's 'too long'. LOL! Thank you!!

Athena's Owl
June 2nd, 2011, 05:38 PM
It is not my hair, and therefore none of my concern.

I really only care about my own hair and what I think of it, as that's all that really matters. I prefer not to waste time worrying about what other people are doing or not doing with their hair, as chances are they haven't asked me for any advice or indicated that they desire my help. I may not like what they're rocking but my opinion doesn't matter. it's not my body or my circumstance or my business.

When they invite me to share my opinion, well then I'll decide to share it or not, depending on the circumstances and my comfort.

elbow chic
June 2nd, 2011, 05:42 PM
I also want to add that I don't think WaitingSoLong meant anything bad with this thread and that she is also aware that we all have less than stellar hair when we're not posing for the LHC shots! After all, she started the less than perfect hair thread. It's just this is a really tricky subject.

I was just thinking that too.

Longfellow
June 2nd, 2011, 06:30 PM
Maybe they just honestly do not know what to do for it, but really like having the length, so they keep it, probably thinking that it being long is all that is important. The best example I can think of is from reading some posts from other members telling about how they were looking for ways to make their hair grow faster when they found this site, and only after that, became concerned about the quality of their hair as well.

This describes me precisely.

WaitingSoLong
June 2nd, 2011, 06:36 PM
And you know what? Sometimes, something's gotta give. I'd rather give up on my hair, then my kids, or my family, or my work. Some people are just not into their outward appearance, and I have a lot of respect for those people. You gotta admit, these forums are for the (at least slightly) hair-obsessed, and hair is nothin' but dead cells.

Sorry, I just came back from the children's hospital today, and man, it's not a happy place. Seeing some of the parents there caring for their *very* sick kids just puts everything into perspective.

I agree about the perspective thing. This is WHY I was wondering about the reasons. I am curious what DRIVES people or perhaps doesn't drive them to un-care for their hair (or hygeine). I know enough people with chronic health issues to know that hair is not very important. I was wondering why, wanted opinions, and got many. Thanks! You all have given me some food for thought.


Actually OP, you are being judgemental.

My hair is extremely damaged right now, I have about 27 inches of damage to grow out. If I leave it down it tangles and gets frizzy and messy-looking, worse if it's a busy day. Should I hide my hair just so some stranger doesn't get offended that my hair doesn't look perfect? No.

I never said I was offended by their hair and will disagree that I am being judgmental. What is my judgment, exactly? That there is a reason behind their unkempt hair? That is not a judgment, that is a fact. And, as many have pointed out, there are several GOOD reasons for hair to appear unkempt. :shrug: Apparently curiosity equals being judgmental. So because I want to understand something better, now I am being judged. Ok.

EdG
June 2nd, 2011, 07:05 PM
My hair is thin beyond tailbone. My ends will always look scraggly unless I go back to the blunt-cut. I'd rather have length than thick ends. :)
Ed

HairStickler
June 2nd, 2011, 07:10 PM
I agree about the perspective thing. This is WHY I was wondering about the reasons. I am curious what DRIVES people or perhaps doesn't drive them to un-care for their hair (or hygeine).
I am imagining a photo essay: pictures of various people with unkempt long hair, along with the reasons. "Lost job, homeless, no place to shower." "Sick child in hospital, too depressed to fix hair." "Tried out new curl gel, NOT happy with it." :) There would probably be a whole variety of reasons, much as you got here.

Nae
June 2nd, 2011, 07:26 PM
You know, maybe it is just an Indiana thing, but I see a lot of people like that in the Wal-mart stores around here. Once I saw a fellow who was trying on slippers and when he took off his socks his feet were BLACK with caked on dirt/skin/debris whatever it was. He would then proceed to ram his feet into the new slippers from off of the shelf and black cakey stuff would come with it.....smearing and flaking onto the new slippers. How do I know this? I was working in that shoe department and I had to do the paperwork to take the loss on every pair of slippers he tried on because they were ruined. I will assure you he smelled so bad other customers were leaving the area. (Yeah, his shoulder length, broken, and partially matted hair matched the hygienic quality of his feet)

This was typical. This IS typical in certain Wal-Mart stores in Indiana. I don't know about the rest of ya'll but it does happen. I, like WaitingSoLong, do wonder what is going on that causes that lack of cleanliness. Medical issues, economic issues, psychological issues, cultural issues? I honestly don't know. I mean seriously, a bar of soap and some shampoo and conditioner is not overwhelmingly expensive. I helped that man with a smile on my face but I noticed how he cared for himself. How can a person not notice?? Especially when you are cleaning up after such a fellow?

Believe me, it wasn't a breeze that made his hair tangled. It was lack of care. It wasn't a little dust that made his feet that filthy......it was lack of bathing.

The OP shouldn't be demonized for noticing stuff like that, it is something that exists, whether it is politically correct to notice it is another thing. The underlying reasons for that behavior is interesting, these are the reasons I like psychology and sociology. There is nothing wrong with trying to understand what brings a person to care for themselves in that way.

McFearless
June 2nd, 2011, 08:28 PM
You know, WaitingSoLong, I get what you mean. I went to the grocery store this evening and I saw a woman with tailbone?ish long hair. It was frizzy, fried and it seemed to be annoying to her the way she flipped and twisted it around every second. That was in the span of the 30seconds we walked down the same aisle. So I do understand what you mean. Why have really long hair if you aren't going to bother caring for it. It didn't seem like she combed or conditioned it in her life. The rest of her look was polished.

There is the possibility that she simply doesn't know how to care for it but I doubt it. With hair that damaged wouldn't you look for options? It didn't look heat styled either, just mechanically destroyed. I live in a big city where everybody knows about conditioner. Hmmm...If that was me I'd chop it all off so there is less of the tangled mess.

gthlvrmx
June 2nd, 2011, 08:46 PM
You should ask some of the girls in my high school...OI! It's just for the style, fashion, whatever looks "cute"(i've asked them...). The usual response i got was "because it looks cute!" or "It is healthy!"
I don't think healthy is broken, split, horribly damaged, and shampooed dry until it breaks even more on it's on splits every single day...but if that's what they want, go for it.
I saw several woman at Cardenas, a more hispanic store around here, and WalMart of course (the two places i see long hairs!) and they were at classic or mid-thigh but FRIED hair at the bottom or something! The top looked much better, but the bottom looked...i just didn't understand, i asked myself the same question you did. But i could only think of maybe they just don't know and they grew up with that type of influence from the people around them, to keep it long and not care for it. They probably don't know :p Like those girls at school, they grew up with that type of stuff around them thinking it's the norm.

christine1989
June 2nd, 2011, 08:52 PM
I don't find too many women with long, scraggly hair (except at Home Depot for some reason :confused:). The ones I do see usually have hair that has some degree of heathy-ness. You should have seen the woman I saw about a month ago at school. She had near calf length hair that was thick, shiny and healthy down to the ends. Literally, her near calf length braid had no taper!

squiggyflop
June 2nd, 2011, 08:56 PM
the second the wind blows my hair looks awful.. one of the many reasons i hate the outdoors

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2011, 09:02 PM
It was a severe reverse V. The middle looked maybe classic and the edges were knee length. If I hadn't understood that they were fairytaled ends, I wouldn't have understood. It might, to the non-hair obsessed, look unkempt.


snipped...



I think Ravenreed was describing a W shaped hemline, perhaps? Or the opposite of a V or fairy-tail shaped ends. So not your perfect U or straight across cut. I know what Ravenreed means. Mine would do that if I never trimmed it. It's not thick enough to look uniform, and therefore would look ratty, damaged and uncared for (even if it's not).

selderon
June 2nd, 2011, 09:13 PM
It was a severe reverse V. The middle looked maybe classic and the edges were knee length. If I hadn't understood that they were fairytaled ends, I wouldn't have understood. It might, to the non-hair obsessed, look unkempt.

Ok, I'm glad you explained that. It wouldn't have occurred to me that she did that on purpose. Clearly I don't understand the term "fairytale ends". I thought it meant ends with a strong v-shaped taper due to the natural processes of growth and attrition.

nellreno
June 2nd, 2011, 09:16 PM
I never said I was offended by their hair and will disagree that I am being judgmental. What is my judgment, exactly? That there is a reason behind their unkempt hair? That is not a judgment, that is a fact. And, as many have pointed out, there are several GOOD reasons for hair to appear unkempt. :shrug: Apparently curiosity equals being judgmental. So because I want to understand something better, now I am being judged. Ok.

Whenever you make an opinion about someone, for example seeing a person with less than stellar hair and assuming that they don't care about their hair, that is making a judgement about them. If you go on a blind date with someone and find the guy creepy and don't want to see him again because you're afraid he'd hurt you, you're making a judgement on him. While judging someone isn't always bad, in the instance of the creepy guy, it isn't always good either and often not based on the truth.

selderon
June 2nd, 2011, 09:29 PM
There's a difference between making a judgment (conclusion) and being judgmental (condemning someone). It's well nigh impossible to observe the world without coming to any conclusions. In fact, conclusions are necessary!

I think the problem is not the conclusion, but (1) the inability or unwillingness to re-assess the evidence when the conclusion doesn't match the facts and (2) a willingness to treat people as inherently inferior because their choices, perceptions or beliefs are different from yours.

WaitingSoLong does not seem to have fallen into either of those traps. Instead, she observes "unkempt hair" (which she then clearly defines), and wonders why people choose for their hair to look that way. At no time do I see her evaluate people with unkempt hair as inferior. She seems to be genuinely seeking to understand the personal or societal reasons behind the choice.

Freki
June 2nd, 2011, 09:47 PM
I've fallen into this on occasion, when I've been depressed. I go a long time without doing anything with my hair, I don't care what I look like, and I just don't bother with anything. And I tell you, getting the condition of my hair back after a spell like this is horrible. It's like one big dread that I have to untangle and baby all over again.

I don't cut my hair during these times because I would have to care in the first place to bother getting out and getting a hair cut. When you feel that way, it's work just waking up and surviving one more day. Plus, for me, having short hair is more work than long hair and it damages my self-image even more.

ravenreed
June 2nd, 2011, 11:54 PM
The fairytales I have seen aren't usually in a V. I think they are somewhat unpredictable. A strong V is probably a trimmed V, and that means it isn't a fairytale.



Ok, I'm glad you explained that. It wouldn't have occurred to me that she did that on purpose. Clearly I don't understand the term "fairytale ends". I thought it meant ends with a strong v-shaped taper due to the natural processes of growth and attrition.

Atira
June 3rd, 2011, 12:16 AM
Kleis: Your hair is GORGEOUS- I do not think she is describing your hair.



The OP shouldn't be demonized for noticing stuff like that, it is something that exists, whether it is politically correct to notice it is another thing. The underlying reasons for that behavior is interesting, these are the reasons I like psychology and sociology. There is nothing wrong with trying to understand what brings a person to care for themselves in that way.

I totally agree. I really don't like how in our society if we question something or want to know the reason for someone's choices that might not be ours we ae labeled as being judgemental. Come on, yall, it was a legitimate question.

I have wondered the same thing myself. I have thin curly hair that gets tangled and frizzy and do have plenty of splits and damage I'm growing out. I have 2 kids that I stay at home full-time with/homeschool, pregnant with #3 and have a few part time jobs. I don't have tons of time (any?) to mess with my hair. It's in a ponytail 90% of the time. But yall, I WASH it every week at least. There is a difference between having gorgeous perfect hair and just basic cleanliness, yes?

I shop at walmart almost exclusively *sigh* I see this kind of hair (long or not!) a TON here in a small East TX town. The hair almost universally matches the clothes, the face, the attitude. I think for the most part, it is a letting oneself go. Who knows why?

Kleis
June 3rd, 2011, 01:11 AM
Kleis: Your hair is GORGEOUS- I do not think she is describing your hair.

Thanks! :flower: And I know she wasn't. My point was that the pics in my album are only after lotsa preening. My hair left to its own devices--as it often is--looks almost radically different, and nowhere near that nice. I should post a pic before I stumble off to work tomorrow. :lol:

I do understand what people are saying, though. That said, part of my reaction is from reading statements like (paraphrased) unkempt hair gives longhairs a bad name. Personally, I think the strong perception of judgment is far less flattering than anyone's bad hair day, or bad hair week, or even bad hair year. My personal vision of the LHC is not a place where people come to to observe/rag on other peoples' hair. :shrug: But well, that's me. I don't have much of a problem being outvoted, but I think it kind of brings down the tone of the board.

Ah, well. I'm not much of an active member anymore. Carry on.

owlathena
June 3rd, 2011, 02:41 AM
I often leave my hair down, not brushed, or in a tangly pony. And I care about my hair. You cant just "tell" when someone doesn't care about their hair. I wear my hair "unkempt" because well, I'm not obsessed with protecting it. I love my long hair, and if I want it to look clean and smooth I can do that, but a lot of the time I just let it be crazy. But I'm young and reckless so I think I can "get away" with looking a little careless. If I were in a professional situation or at an event I would wear my hair accordingly. But if I'm going to walmart? I'm just going to leave it.

share801
June 3rd, 2011, 03:34 AM
My coworker must not have been "trying" when she started showing up with weird rashes, dandruff, greasy hair. I knew it bothered her as she would attempt to treat each symptom to no avail.

Once they identified and treated the underlying auto-immune disease, she got back to "usual" appearance.

Of course, not everyone has this issue, but the point is we have no idea who really has what going on in their life.

Fufu
June 3rd, 2011, 03:47 AM
My hair looks unkempt today, so needa wash and mask my hair today.

Melanie Marie
June 3rd, 2011, 05:43 AM
I think a lot of long-haired people with super damaged ends yet they don't appear to be poor really do think that this is the way their hair is supposed to look. Honestly, before coming to LHC I had no idea that I could eliminate my frizz simply by not brushing my wet hair, or that washing your hair every day was bad. I didn't know any better, so I thought it was the norm. Once I knew tat I didn't have to have a frizzy rat's lair on top of my head, I acted. Some people just don't know any better. :shrug:

I usually don't see girls or women over here with hair longer than waist, but I saw a woman recently with blonde tailbone length hair that had clearly seen better days, but it wasn't a wreck. Like many people have already pointed out, some people really don't mind having thin ends.

longhairdntcare
June 3rd, 2011, 05:46 AM
I've noticed that too, I think sometimes they are just people who don't like haircuts lol.

pepperminttea
June 3rd, 2011, 05:57 AM
the second the wind blows my hair looks awful.. one of the many reasons i hate the outdoors

I've seen your outdoor vid review of the Tangle Teezer - your hair looks just as stunning caught in the wind. :flowers:

Nae
June 3rd, 2011, 06:41 AM
I've seen your outdoor vid review of the Tangle Teezer - your hair looks just as stunning caught in the wind. :flowers:

I am going to second that. I was like, how the heck does she do that??? Our Squiggy is legendary lol!!! :cool:

Panth
June 3rd, 2011, 08:52 AM
Ok, I'm glad you explained that. It wouldn't have occurred to me that she did that on purpose. Clearly I don't understand the term "fairytale ends". I thought it meant ends with a strong v-shaped taper due to the natural processes of growth and attrition.


The fairytales I have seen aren't usually in a V. I think they are somewhat unpredictable. A strong V is probably a trimmed V, and that means it isn't a fairytale.

Fairytails IMO can be all sorts of weird shapes. Some people have a handful of hairs that seem to grow faster/longer than all the others - that lady sounds like she had this, but her "sprinters" were on the outer edges. The V-shape is a more common one, I suspect, because even in those people who don't have "sprinters", the hair at the nape will appear longer than the rest because it starts out from lower on the head ... and as the nape is central, that would make a V-shape.

As for the OP's original question, depression is a good candidate, particularly seeing as the current economic climate might have flipped people from "down, but coping" to "jobless/homeless/whatever and seriously depressed". When I was at my worst, I often didn't bother to comb my hair or would wear the same plait for several days in a row. I also had no motivation to do anything, including washing. Sometimes I would try to hide it by wearing a bandana over the several days-old plait, sometimes I wouldn't bother.

AshNight1214
June 3rd, 2011, 12:08 PM
Seriously! I can't tell you how many people I've seen with waist length hair that need to be cut to shoulder to be healthy! UGH!!

I think there are a lot of people who don't know how to take care of their hair. I mean, unless we had parents who had long hair and knew what to do, we were all told to wash, rinse, and repeat, right? So I guess all we can do is hope they figure it out or go see a stylist who can help...

Though, I suppose it's good news that people even WANT long hair.

alyanna
June 3rd, 2011, 12:34 PM
I agree about the perspective thing. This is WHY I was wondering about the reasons. I am curious what DRIVES people or perhaps doesn't drive them to un-care for their hair (or hygeine). I know enough people with chronic health issues to know that hair is not very important. I was wondering why, wanted opinions, and got many. Thanks! You all have given me some food for thought.


;)

Just thought I'd let you know, I didn't think you were being judgmental and I was not offended in the least. I'm not at all the "touchy" type and generally don't get offended easily. I lean more towards being quite blunt myself, so...

Yesterday, though I really was thinking about the things people go through in their lives, because of this visit to the kids' hospital. I went to get some tests done for my DD2 and the testing center was in between the cancer unit and the dialysis unit, so you can imagine the state of many of the parents in those areas.

WaitingSoLong
June 3rd, 2011, 01:40 PM
;)
I went to get some tests done for my DD2 and the testing center was in between the cancer unit and the dialysis unit, so you can imagine the state of many of the parents in those areas.

When I am driving and see people in such a hurry, I wonder sometimes if they are rushing to a hospital or something. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if the truth is they are just a jerk who thinks everyone should get off the road so THEY can drive. I have no way of knowing so I credit them with being distraught or something and usually just get out of their way.

I have had the unfortuate experience of facing many challenges in life that other people who have never faced them simply cannot understand. It has taught me many things: to never ever expect someone else to know how you feel, to "let go" most comments that are well intended that actually hurt deep down (tho with repeat offenders I do try to educate them a bit), to never ever think that I understand what someone else is going through if I have not walked in their shoes, that silence is OK and you don't always have to have a response to stuff and simply saying "I'm sorry" (and meaning it) is sometimes all that is necessary, that ignoring someone's problem or blowing it off like it is small does not make it go away and hurts their feelings, to always assume (at least at first) that comments people say don't mean to offend you, regardless of how they sound. There are exceptions, of course. Forums like this are a good place to exercise this. I think that very few people are actually haters out there. Also, that if something I say comes off as offensive I have probably touched an unseen nerve and just hope they extend me the same graces because I would never intentionally offend someone. I consider my self passive-assertive.

Some of my experiences have also taught me that there is always more than one (or even a dozen) way(s) to view a situation. For example: Mother's Day...think what it means to those whose mom abused them, or to those whose mothers have died, or to those who desperately want to be mothers and cannot be.

It is perhaps why I am so quiet in real life. The time I need to properly think though things like this is more than conversation allows. I dislike the taste of crow.

selderon
June 3rd, 2011, 02:42 PM
I dislike the taste of crow.

Crows everywhere applaud your taste. Or rather they would if they could strike their wingtips together. They send up clamorous caws of agreement. :p

alyanna
June 3rd, 2011, 08:29 PM
It is perhaps why I am so quiet in real life. The time I need to properly think though things like this is more than conversation allows. I dislike the taste of crow.

I do too and yet I always go back. It's a lesson I have a very hard time learning, but I do try. My foot can generally be found in my mouth :o

elbow chic
June 3rd, 2011, 08:32 PM
I think you totally get used to the taste of foot after a few years. Some of us were just Born That Way.

Gvnagitlvgei
June 4th, 2011, 12:16 AM
. My personal vision of the LHC is not a place where people come to to observe/rag on other peoples' hair. :shrug: But well, that's me. I don't have much of a problem being outvoted, but I think it kind of brings down the tone of the board.
.


I think so, too. I'm one of those with scraggly ends who doesn't care about having perfectly groomed ends. I'd probably more observe if someone had 1 strand hanging on for dear life than be concerned about why coifs out there are not pic-perfect. Shrugs.

ilovelonghair
June 4th, 2011, 01:37 AM
Didn't read the whole thread yet, might be said before: but some people think it's fashionable to have messy hair. For example messy ponytails, buns etc.

JamieLeigh
June 4th, 2011, 01:57 AM
It doesn't matter how much time I spend on my hair trying to make it look immaculate. It always looks messy, when I wear it loose, because -
#1, there is so much of it...I'm at lower-mid-thigh length. So when I sit in the car, I have to move it out of the way when it's loose. Having to pile it in my lap while I drive, and then drop it back behind me again when I stand up at my destination means that if I don't stand in the parking lot and try to comb it again, I've got messy ends from waist down.
#2, some of it is fine in texture...so that means the wind catches it very easily.
#3, the more I try to mess with it in public, somehow, the worse it starts to look. The more I manipulate it after it's already been combed out once in a day, the stringier and flatter it looks. NOT TO MENTION, that if I've been driving, AND it's windy...playing with it in the parking lot to try and get it back to 'kempt' is just not going to work out for me.

I'm just SOL. This is why so many purveyors of fine hairtoys are my friends. I win. ;)

luxepiggy
June 4th, 2011, 02:04 AM
The wind. It was the wind, I swear ( ' (oo) ' )

maysum
June 4th, 2011, 04:49 AM
I don't think 'messiness' or tangles is really the issue here. One of my collegues has long hair (nearing classic) and though it looks well brushed it also appears utterly unkempt (in the manner of looking like it has never been with 50 feet of a bottle of conditioner, or a pair of scissors (lots of splits) and is constantly worn loose). I've heard people whispering behind her back that she has 'witches' hair'.

(I feel I should add here, we are not a backstabbing office for the most part - she is just a hateful person and the insulters are venting).

Marianne
June 4th, 2011, 05:48 AM
I figured someone would have this response. Here's the thing...can't you just TELL when someone doesn't care? I am wondering WHY people have long hair and don't care for it. I never questioned their right to it and I never set any beauty standard for them.



You did set a beauty standard by assuming that their appearance means that they don't care. By doing that you have set up a standard for caring, which they are falling short of, in your eyes. That's what a beauty standard is.

No, curiosity does not equal judgement, but the way you go about your curiosity can, which is what I think a lot of people are having a problem with here. You're making a lot of assumptions and judgement calls with your "curiosity".

Marianne
June 4th, 2011, 05:54 AM
Thanks! :flower: And I know she wasn't. My point was that the pics in my album are only after lotsa preening. My hair left to its own devices--as it often is--looks almost radically different, and nowhere near that nice. I should post a pic before I stumble off to work tomorrow. :lol:



I know this isn't the point, but from what I recall of the meet we had, your hair looked pretty damn impressive to me even after wandering around all day. :flower:

Jorchet
June 6th, 2011, 03:07 PM
I am wondering why? If long hair is too much to maintain for them, why have it?

I've asked my sister this question a million times. She has really long hair, and it'd be gorgeous is she was to take care of it, oil it and choose the right kind of treatments and products for her hair type! I think she's just lazy. http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l143/Jorchet/Smilies/tristeyno-1.gif

Misti
June 6th, 2011, 03:41 PM
Yeah, but why was part of it shorter than the rest? That's the part that doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm not visualizing it right.

Kind of like mine, perhaps?

Courtesy of a MAJOR shed when my former MDeity decided to halve my thyroid dose without consulting (or telling) me. She just called it in the pharmacy and let me discover it for myself when the symptoms came roaring back.

moonlight
June 6th, 2011, 03:49 PM
My hair is inherently messy....I have wildly uneven waves and the "style" it does best is "beach waves". This looks pretty cool at about shoulder length layers, but when I grow it out long, I know people must think that I don't take care of my hair <sigh>

Eniratak
June 6th, 2011, 03:54 PM
I care for my hair quite religiously, but I also wear it down most of the time. Because my hair tangles easy and I wear it down, sometimes my hair looks messy as if I don't care for it.
Just because a head of hair looks like it isn't cared for, doesn't necessarily mean that it isn't. You might just have caught them at the wrong time. ;)

spidermom
June 6th, 2011, 04:01 PM
Catch me on the wrong day and I'm the poster child for unkempt. Like maybe I was working in the yard and had to run to the store for some reason. I'm in my grubby yard work clothes and maybe my hair fell out of it's bun when I scraped it exiting the truck, so now it's down and nothing short of a great big mess. That day, you're right - I don't give a flying finger about my clothes or my hair.

But I clean up nice, and when I want to pay attention to long hair, it's there.

racrane
June 6th, 2011, 04:42 PM
I have a friend who was like this. She also was horrible to her body in other ways (anorexic) and her hair obviously took a toll. She had hip length hair and just recently cut to BSL. Now that she is getting better emotionally and physically her hair looks healthier. Just something I thought I'd share...

lacefrost
June 6th, 2011, 05:12 PM
I think this is a very tricky thread simply because there's a difference between the question you asked and the question people think you asked, which isn't the same thing. There are a lot of words that immediately make people defensive. Everyone has a word or two that'll make them immediately defensive, warranted or not, for one reason or another. As this is a hair forum and a lot of people have found it simply because their hair was in bad shape, words like "messy" "frizzy" and "unkempt" are probably trigger words for some people. It doesn't mean you were in the wrong. (My word, for example, is "nappy." My hackles immediately go up and I have to leave.)

I read what you had to say and it was a genuine curiosity question. You noticed something that was happening frequently and was curious about it. This is what sociologists do. They notice a pattern in a group of people (in your case, longhairs in your city at walmart) and wonder what it is that influences them to behave or dress or feel or whatever the way they do (in your case, have hair that is severely damaged.) There is nothing wrong with that, you have nothing to apologize for.