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Emichiee
June 19th, 2008, 02:57 PM
I have been away since I am currently vacationing in Germany but I do need you guys help for my friend.
She has much trouble with her hair right now ( 2a-2b/F/ ii (6.5cm) , Armpitlength)

She is part of my umh..well you could say german long hair friends. We all met up on the 14th and had some sort of "hair party"...that was the main subject at least ;)

She did not show up and at the meet up I learned that she had her hair done at a salon and its in a horrible condition now. Made me think of my hair salon desaster with that stylist that poured perm solution and other chemicals over my head.

She has been getting higlight for years. Her natural color is an ashy medium blonde. It looks very nice and we tried encouraging her to stop dyeing since she wants to grow it to hip length. Her hair is pretty damaged because the highlights are usually applied on the whole lengths.

This time she got lowlights since she wanted to get away from that very light blonde and in the future only get higlights near the roots. Something must have gone wrong though, she told me she noticed a strong bad smell and burning sensation when it was applied. They did not only put lowlights but new highlights as well.
The result looked like the coat of a zebra and her hair broke off in thick strands.
It is like velcro, tangly and very damaged right now. She is devastated and when we had the meet up she was too embarassed to show up and cried art home :(.
I feel so bad for her, I know she wants long hair so bad and has been investing lots of time in good care. It improved and grew until now. She wants to start over again - without the dye but she is afraid she cant stick to it since she thinks her natural blonde is ugly.
We all tried telling her how beautiful a natural blonde can be and that she does not need to keep up the highlights but I think what she really needs is inspiration. People with her hairtype and/or color that have beautiful hair or maybe faced the same issue, have similar experiences etc.
It would be very much appreciated.

Emi :flower:

PS: Sorry if I have not been replying to messages the past days, I am just enjoying 10 days Home in Germany :o

orangeeyecrayon
June 19th, 2008, 03:26 PM
just telling her will not make her change, and if she is the kind who dyes she will always be tempted to dye her hair. but since her hair got severly damaged it may be just what she needed to motivate her to stop dying her hair, that is what it took for me.

I would recomend she get an intense protien treatment from a beauty supply to try and strengthin her hair, than go get a hair cut. Than she should do weekly protien treatments and deep condition, get it trimmed every 3 months till the color is all out (or if she is willing to get it choped short right away that will be better)
also just so she knows the more hair she cuts off now the healthier her hair will be in the end.

and just so she see you can come back from a disastar

this is me when my hair was breaking off..
http://photos-291.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v64/137/11/24414291/n24414291_31150756_6842.jpg

Than the shortest my hair was after i got it cut cause it was all falling out any way
http://photos-f.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v75/184/61/24414706/n24414706_31278645_5849.jpg

That was all about a year ago, i had to cut off a good ten inches of hair and i now treat my hair supper wel, i do use shimmer lights to keep my blonde as blonde as possible... and this is my hair now.
http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v291/103/88/27907152/n27907152_32269166_8169.jpg

so i really wish your friend the best of luck she needs as much protien in her hair as possible and she needs to chop it though she proboably does not want to hair it (i bet she can get protien treatments for free from the saloon from what they did to her hair)

Loviatar
June 19th, 2008, 04:14 PM
Emi, so sorry to hear your friend's trouble.

After my bad bleach/colour stripper experience, I have had great results with Redken anti=snap, CAT protein spray and Deep Fuel treatments.

Also for the blonde she may want, when her hair is more recovered, to use marigold rinses or camomile, or cassia, or honey instead of her old dyes. Natural blonde hair is beautiful, and those herbs and things can only add to its beauty.

Cones, cones, cones, as well. I hate them, but they love my damaged ends. I try not to put them on my scalp though, or it breaks out. Coney conditioners I've had good results from are Tresemme anti=breakage, Label M intensive conditioner, and Redken Extreme rescue force.

HTH.

FrannyG
June 19th, 2008, 04:43 PM
Oh gosh, we blondes are the worst, aren't we? :) As soon as our hair gets too dark for our liking, we go for the hair colouring. Many of us here can relate. :(

I'm assuming that your friend doesn't have any greys to deal with, so I would suggest to her that she use some chamomile tea soaks just to brighten up her natural shade. It really does work to give a little sparkle to blonde hair.

Also, she can try honey treatments. There are some great recipes in the honey thread that can help brighten her blonde a little.

I really wish your friend success with her long hair journey.

Also, I hope you're having a wonderful time in Germany, Emi. :flowers:

Blueglass
June 19th, 2008, 05:04 PM
I really understand what it is to be a mousy. It can drive one to desperate measures we may well soon regret. Sometimes it takes a disaster to just see the beauty in mousy. It's better then bright yellow, breaking off, whatever.

Ohio Sky
June 19th, 2008, 05:38 PM
Get her on here and have her look at pictures of beautiful heads of hair similar to her own. (like ^above poster^ who has beautiful hair but refers to it as "mousy") And introduce her to things like honey and cassia.

Loviatar
June 19th, 2008, 06:27 PM
Oh Blueglass, your hair is NOT mousy! It's like sunlight on polished oak. I would love your colour!

morgwn
June 19th, 2008, 06:39 PM
Definitely tell your friend that ash blonde is gorgeous and natural blondes typically have such a wide assortment of colours in their hair that we can appear to have totally different hair colours just depending on the light. :)

I used to get pressured into bleaching and lightening constantly for a number of years and my hair could never have gotten very far below shoulder length if I'd kept that up. Now the only thing that lightens my hair is that I love to be outdoors and so it gets 'sun-kissed' (as my DHTB says). But I've finally just accepted that being a dark blonde is a lovely thing in and of itself.

She may have to get her hair cut really short to get out the damage (I did once after a major colouring disaster) and then just go from there, growing mostly virgin hair and doing a trim every month or two to get out the damaged ends until the hair is all virgin. Then she can go for some real length! :)

Emichiee
June 20th, 2008, 01:15 PM
Thanks for the replies guys!

Orangeeyecrayon your hair improved greatly! Amazing picture documentation.


Oh gosh, we blondes are the worst, aren't we? :) As soon as our hair gets too dark for our liking, we go for the hair colouring. Many of us here can relate. :(

I'm assuming that your friend doesn't have any greys to deal with, so I would suggest to her that she use some chamomile tea soaks just to brighten up her natural shade. It really does work to give a little sparkle to blonde hair.

Also, she can try honey treatments. There are some great recipes in the honey thread that can help brighten her blonde a little.

I really wish your friend success with her long hair journey.

Also, I hope you're having a wonderful time in Germany, Emi. :flowers:

Oh no I dont think blondes are the worst, anyone seems to be disatisfied with their natural color at some point (*raises hand*) but the way her hair was bleached it is too damaged now and I think its a good idea to go without bleaching. We suggested root touch ups and going all blonde but she wants higlights or nothing at all.

I will definetly suggest natural lightening methods to her thank you! :)


Definitely tell your friend that ash blonde is gorgeous and natural blondes typically have such a wide assortment of colours in their hair that we can appear to have totally different hair colours just depending on the light. :)


That is a great way to say it, I will let her know exactly like that!

Not sure if she has to cut all of her hair. I told her to wait 1 month and just take lots of good care, some treatments etc.
Mine improved much after the breakage and I did only trim and let the damage grow out, so its still there technically..(below shoulder)

Emichiee
June 20th, 2008, 01:19 PM
Ohio Sky, she does not want to sign up since her english is not that perfect, so I am the mediator (spelled correctly?);)


I really understand what it is to be a mousy. It can drive one to desperate measures we may well soon regret. Sometimes it takes a disaster to just see the beauty in mousy. It's better then bright yellow, breaking off, whatever.

Your hair looks beautiful! I really love that color. I think the people that invented the term "mousy" were not the brightest..:rolleyes: Cool colors also suit many people...not everyone can go honey, platinum, reddish, chocolate etc.

orangeeyecrayon
June 20th, 2008, 01:29 PM
I just said she needed a trim cause i assumed it was like mine was, right before i bleached it in that first picture of mine it was shoulder length and in the 5 minutes after i bleached just trying to condition and brush it out caused enough breackage for my hair to get that short (and i remember at the hair cut when he was brushing hair was just flying out out my head lol)

but definately she should protien it up (i would recomend at least a little trim to get rid of some damage and only a big cut if it is as bad as my hair was

Curlsgirl
June 20th, 2008, 01:32 PM
I have a pic of my hair from before I came here and then my signature and avatar show it currently. My hair was awful back then. All I did was to follow better haircare and avoided pulling the dye or bleach through my hair. I also had small trims along the way. Not sure if it will help but anyway:
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/curlsgirl/WIT_Pictures_021.jpg I wish it was bigger but I assure you it was pitiful. I am the one to the right of course.

Why don't you suggest she do little trims and baby it and just get highlights on the roots from now on? She needs to find a good salon though.

Schnee
June 20th, 2008, 01:33 PM
Blonde hair is never boring! :)

I have a lot of ashy tones in my hair, and also a lot of other natural coulour variations. My "highlights" are natural, meaning they are just colour variations and some enhanced by the sun.

I don't have advice for your friend other than to try to learn to like her natural colour.

BTW, just remembered that shimmer/gloss products can give some shine when hair looks a bit dull. I like MOP glisten drops. :)

Ohio Sky
June 20th, 2008, 01:38 PM
Well she doesnt necessarily have to sign up, could you just have her accompany you somewhere with a computer? Some of the pictures of hair here are sooo inspiring.

Emichiee
June 20th, 2008, 06:39 PM
Well she doesnt necessarily have to sign up, could you just have her accompany you somewhere with a computer? Some of the pictures of hair here are sooo inspiring.

Hihi I would love too but she lives in Germany and I live in NY;)

Schnee, you have amazing hair any color would look good on you :lol:

Curlsgirl do you get highlights ? It looks very natural and not all one color. Thats what she wanted to avoid.

Orangeeyecrayon
Im sure she has to trima little but we will see how much long term damage there is :/

Curlsgirl
June 20th, 2008, 06:49 PM
Curlsgirl do you get highlights ? It looks very natural and not all one color. Thats what she wanted to avoid.

I totally understand her feelings in this. I also have a sort of drab natural color (though mine is with quite a bit of gray now) so yes I had gone back to my near natural color (except for covering the gray) and then just a little over a month ago decided I REALLY missed my blonde so I decided to go to an Aveda salon and get highlights. Carolyn and Justgreen also do the highlights and I was impressed at how beautiful they were able to keep their hair at those lengths. I figured if I could just get highlights and then go again and only get them again on the ROOTS as they grow out then it might be even healthier than me trying to do my own "natural" color at home because I always had the risk of overlapping the color (as much as I tried I know I did a bit). Thankfully I found a colorist who is VERY good I think and I already trust her completely. Because of my gray I have to go now and then to get a demi toner to blend the gray in along with the highlights touchups.

That said I think it does depend on how "tough" your hair is and how you treat it otherwise. My hair has always taken color extremely well I think as it is not fine but medium and fairly thick. I also treat it VERY carefully otherwise, almost no heat, washing very infrequently, updos a lot and gentle detangling and also a lot of moisture and oils to protect especially the ends. I really believe that and NOT bringing any color through to the ends of the hair are the key to being able to color AND grow long hair. I have a way to go of course but I am confident I'll can make it to TB at least... SOMEDAY!

Katahdin
June 20th, 2008, 07:06 PM
I don't know much about henna; I've never henna'd before or wanted to, but it is an all-natural damage-free kind of dye, from what I've heard around here. Perhaps, just so she won't be so horribly embarrassed by the zebra 'do, she could henna what she has now, and grow out her natural color after?

Or if she really does hate her natural color so much she'd be tempted to keep dying anyways, henna may be something she'd like to stick with, since it'll let her grow long, healthy hair.

spidermom
June 20th, 2008, 09:16 PM
It's sad how so many people think that natural dark blonde hair is too ugly to wear. For others, it's their favorite hair color, but not enough of us are wearing it proudly. I'd love for your friend to be one of us.

orangeeyecrayon
June 20th, 2008, 09:28 PM
well the good thing is protien packs work wonders, the hair that didnt get chopped of mine that had been all gummy and gross while it did not get 100 percent back to normal it definately got into a much better condition (there is still about an inch of damaged bits of hair at the end of the length of my hair and other than a slightly diffrent wave patern to it it feels just like the rest of my hair.

so as everyone else has said she should just baby it

Gabrielle
June 21st, 2008, 04:43 AM
Emi, so sorry to hear your friend's trouble.

After my bad bleach/colour stripper experience, I have had great results with Redken anti=snap, CAT protein spray and Deep Fuel treatments.

Also for the blonde she may want, when her hair is more recovered, to use marigold rinses or camomile, or cassia, or honey instead of her old dyes. Natural blonde hair is beautiful, and those herbs and things can only add to its beauty.

Cones, cones, cones, as well. I hate them, but they love my damaged ends. I try not to put them on my scalp though, or it breaks out. Coney conditioners I've had good results from are Tresemme anti=breakage, Label M intensive conditioner, and Redken Extreme rescue force.

HTH.

I agree with Loviatar's products. I had the same bad salon experience but refused to cut my hair. I used the the Redken products above. Also very good for the same are L'oreal Hair Fixer and Aphogee two step protein treatment. Now my longest layer is hip length, so length can be accomplished even after horrible salon treatments. My hair color is dark blonde, too dark to compliment my skin color. My hair is too long to consider a frosting cap any longer either---plus grey has settled in. So I touch up my roots with a "natural" hair coloring product and carefully highlight in a "face frame". Since my hair is worn up most of the time the style accentuates the blonde highlights and keeps me happy.

Schnee
June 21st, 2008, 07:08 AM
Schnee, you have amazing hair any color would look good on you :lol:


Thank you, even though I'm sure not every colour would look good on me.:p But if you look in my photo album (i'm to lazy to make a link...) you can see that my haircolour looks very ashy in some type of light. Dull light, like shadow, don't really bring out the best in my hair. Also dirty/oily/wet hair tends to look more ashy.

Isilme
June 21st, 2008, 07:29 AM
I don't have any pictures and I doubt she would let me upload any. But I have a friend with knee length very fine ash blonde hair, dark/medium blonde. She has been growing it for years and at some point she has highlights put in (done herself with some kind of sun in product) it looked fine, but she grew it out so now she has virgin hair:)
It looks stunning and she usually wears it in a long long braid.

justgreen
June 21st, 2008, 07:43 AM
My advice would be to teach your friend about SMT. That is what SAVED my hair almost three years ago.