I am so, so tempted to cut...

[Fingolphin]

It is driving me nuts right now. Not really long enough to put in a ponytail (at least not all of it, especially in the front, and I don't like pony stubs), and just annoying in general. I'm also having to do some new job interviews right now, and (unfortunately) there seems to be a negative association with men and long hair (at least around here). I must be either a slob or a druggie, or both, right? *sigh* So that makes me kind of want to cut. It's not right, but I imagine some of these potential employers take one look at me and rule me out of the running. But last time I cut (and I really thought I wanted it), I regretted it almost immediately. I can't make up my mind.

[spidermom]

A friend decided to cut his shoulder-length hair and shave his beard for an interview as a counselor, and the man who interviewed him had a full beard, mid-back length hair, and motorcycle boots. haha My friend should have visited the place to get an idea of the dress code. I recommend you do the same.

[Mesmerise]

Can you slick it back or something so that it looks tidier without having to try and pull it back into a ponytail? It is frustrating when hair is at a length where it looks scruffy, but you can't do much with it, and is probably worse for a guy because - let's be honest - hair toys and stuff seem to be much less accepted on men than women!

I'm really not sure what to do other than find something that will sort of stick your hair in place a bit when you do interviews so that at least you look neat and tidy.

[CarpeDM]

I'm just curious, what sort of work are you applying for? Is it business professional or more casual?

[Fingolphin]

I'm just curious, what sort of work are you applying for? Is it business professional or more casual?

Most of the ones I've been looking at/interviewing for are human resources-type stuff, like assisted-living specialist and positions along those lines.

[CarpeDM]

Most of the ones I've been looking at/interviewing for are human resources-type stuff, like assisted-living specialist and positions along those lines.

Then I would not think that would be a major issue. If you were interviewing for a corporate level position where longer hair on men may be frowned upon it might be worth a second thought, but I've seen men in assisted living positions with longer hair and it was never an issue, all that really mattered was if they treated people well. The best advice I've ever heard for an interview is arrive clean and neat, as long as everything looks tidy you should be fine.

[Fingolphin]

Aside from the interviews issue, it is just driving me nuts; not really being able to fully pull it back or put it up. :(

[Mesmerise]

Aside from the interviews issue, it is just driving me nuts; not really being able to fully pull it back or put it up. :(

Unfortunately, the only thing that fixes that is time and patience! You WILL get there, but in the meantime you sort of have to suffer through the annoying phase! When you're around home and don't care what you look like, you can always use bobby pins or hair clips to keep it off your face, but in public you may not want to do that. As I suggested before, using some product to stick your hair down a bit may be your only other option if you don't want your hair getting in your face.

[CarpeDM]

Aside from the interviews issue, it is just driving me nuts; not really being able to fully pull it back or put it up. :(

OK well since you said you regretted it the last time, you might just be stuck in a hair funk at the moment, I know I have been there before when all I want to do is cut it all off because it is driving me crazy for one reason or another. But I normally regret when I give in and cut it, so why not give it a little longer before you decide?

[spidermom]

We all have to suffer through the awkward phase. Guys I knew in the air force would use gel to direct the hair straight back on the top and sides so they could have hair longer than air force regulations. As long as you use a lot and DO NOT touch your hair once you slick it back, the gel will hold through anything other than strong wind and rain.

On your own time, you could use caps and bandanas to hold your hair back. I love a bandana tied pirate style.

[Fingolphin]

We all have to suffer through the awkward phase. Guys I knew in the air force would use gel to direct the hair straight back on the top and sides so they could have hair longer than air force regulations. As long as you use a lot and DO NOT touch your hair once you slick it back, the gel will hold through anything other than strong wind and rain.

On your own time, you could use caps and bandanas to hold your hair back. I love a bandana tied pirate style.

I use hats and bandanas all the time. As for gel, I try to avoid those kind of products, as they are so high in alchohol.

[Venefica]

What about using a head band or a bandanna? it will keep your hair out of your face and it will also make your hair look neat. Also pony tail stubs might not be the most attractive, but they are neat and might just let you keep your hair and still look neat, also remember that it is a transition period, your hair will grow out into a nice long ponytail if you let it.

[spidermom]

Not all alcohols will dry out your hair, but if you don't want to learn which alcohols are safe, you can stick with aloe vera gel. Don't get the kind with lidocaine (or any other 'caine) and you will be fine. Most of them have some sort of stabilizer, but those aren't harmful. Also, some gels will say "moisturizing" or "hydrating". Those are safe.

[Fingolphin]

What about using a head band or a bandanna? it will keep your hair out of your face and it will also make your hair look neat. Also pony tail stubs might not be the most attractive, but they are neat and might just let you keep your hair and still look neat, also remember that it is a transition period, your hair will grow out into a nice long ponytail if you let it.

I have had long hair before; I just forgot how frustrating the in-between period is. I use headbands and bandanas, hats, clips, pins, etc. But probably not for an interview. ;) The problem of a pony stub (for me) is that it only holds the stuff in the back, whereas the hair in the front would still be in my face.

[selderon]

It is driving me nuts right now. Not really long enough to put in a ponytail (at least not all of it, especially in the front, and I don't like pony stubs), and just annoying in general. I'm also having to do some new job interviews right now, and (unfortunately) there seems to be a negative association with men and long hair (at least around here). I must be either a slob or a druggie, or both, right? *sigh* So that makes me kind of want to cut. It's not right, but I imagine some of these potential employers take one look at me and rule me out of the running. But last time I cut (and I really thought I wanted it), I regretted it almost immediately. I can't make up my mind.

I have three things to say to you.

1. What would Legolas (http://www.hobbitadventures.net/Images/3-legolas.jpg) do?
2. Consider the hotness that is Spencer Reid (http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/19200000/Spencer-Reid-dr-spencer-reid-19201961-300-401.jpg) and put off the cut.
3. Styling product

[Fingolphin]

I have three things to say to you.

1. What would Legolas (http://www.hobbitadventures.net/Images/3-legolas.jpg) do?
2. Consider the hotness that is Spencer Reid (http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/19200000/Spencer-Reid-dr-spencer-reid-19201961-300-401.jpg) and put off the cut.
3. Styling product

LOL! :) Well, Legolas has elven hair, so I imagine it is always cooperative. And is that the guy from Criminal Minds? Some of my coworkers and relatives are always telling me I look like him, but I don't think I do.

[elbow chic]

omg someone said Spencer Reid. I'm not even into little men but he is SMOKING HOT. Oh! The picture! I like when he looks uncomfortable. I want to make him very uncomfortable.

What were we talking about?

[selderon]

And is that the guy from Criminal Minds? Some of my coworkers and relatives are always telling me I look like him, but I don't think I do.
Yes and you do remind me of him.


omg someone said Spencer Reid. I'm not even into little men but he is SMOKING HOT. Oh! The picture! I like when he looks uncomfortable. I want to make him very uncomfortable.

What were we talking about?

He's very bad for the concentration, isn't he? I find it absolutely weird that I can find him so beautiful when my strong preference is for a build much more like Morgan's.

:eyebrows: I bet Fingolphin is looks uncomfortable right now.

[Cimorene]

There's also the guy from Leverage, Christian Kane: http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001309341/Leverage_Christian_Kane1_xlarge.jpeg Although, he's portrayed as the "tough guy" on the show...not exactly the look one goes for in a job interview for assisted living.

Ooh, I know - how about going for the John Corbett look? http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2002_My_Big_Fat_Greek_Wedding/2002_my_big_fat_greek_wedding_001.jpg That's chock full of trustworthiness, professionalism AND long man-hair! :D

[Fingolphin]

Maybe if I wear a tie it will automatically give the impression of spiffy. :D

[Fingolphin]

:eyebrows: I bet Fingolphin is looks uncomfortable right now.

Now, now, I'm a married man! ;)

[selderon]

Now, now, I'm a married man! ;)

:p And I'm just being silly.

[Peter]

Ah yeah... that middle length is a really tough stage. Keep in mind that if you cut it for the interview, you might be expected to keep it short for your job. And that stinks! :D

I guess it all depends on how important it is to get a job quickly, and how much you want to have long hair. If getting a job isn't urgent, I would suggest waiting it out and trying to find an employer who doesn't mind it.

Good luck bro!

[Fingolphin]

:p And I'm just being silly.

Oh, I know you are. ;)

[Sundial]

How about half ups for now? It keeps hair off the face

[Fingolphin]

Ah yeah... that middle length is a really tough stage. Keep in mind that if you cut it for the interview, you might be expected to keep it short for your job. And that stinks! :D

I guess it all depends on how important it is to get a job quickly, and how much you want to have long hair. If getting a job isn't urgent, I would suggest waiting it out and trying to find an employer who doesn't mind it.

Good luck bro!

Thanks, man! :)

[MeganE]

Have you tried multiple ponytails? I would swear I remember seeing a guy with medium longish hair, and the top part was in two smaller ponytails and the back part was down. But I have no idea where or when that was, or even if I'm just making it up.

[lacefrost]

All of those guys are so steeaaamy!

Fingolphin, I just looked at your album and your hair is all sleek and shiny and lovely. It looks perfectly neat and presentable. Don't worry about it, okay? It looks good!

Also, men with long hair are hott. :eyebrows:

[Roseate]

Maybe if I wear a tie it will automatically give the impression of spiffy. :D

I think that really works! Dress up, and no-one will mind a little shag.

I ride the bus with a man who works in the financial district and has been growing out his hair: he parts it sharply on one side, smooths it back with something (pomade maybe?) and always wears an impeccable suit. No-one could call him scruffy!

And there are plenty of gels without alcohol or cones, if you want to go that route. Biosilk makes the hardest-holding gel on the planet (http://www.amazon.com/Biosilk-Rock-Hard-6-Ounce-Bottles/dp/B000FKHXZA), with none of the above.

[ericthegreat]

I would do some reconnaissance on the places you would like to work at. Surely you could hang out casually (don't make it too obvious that you are looking at them! ;) outside the offices during lunchtime or the early the morning hours or the late afternoon after work hours, and check out how everyone is dressed and wears their hair. This will give you a general feel for what the standard dress code and hair code happens to be. If you happen to find another long-haired guy, you're in luck!

It goes without question of course that you dress up in a good suit. Classic colors can never go wrong, I suggest either a white or a blue buttoned down shirt, and a black suit jacket and black pants. Also of course, nice leather shoes. Be on time for the interview of course. Confidently speak about your merits and qualifications. :) But most importantly, instead of worrying if you might be right for the job, you should be asking yourself if the job is right for you. :)

As for your hair, would you be open to cutting it just a little bit it into a deliberate, fashionable kind of style? Something layered but still shoulder length? That way you can still keep it long but have it look styled for a professional work environment. I'm thinking something like these long haircuts for men:

http://www.menshairstyles.net/v/men_fashion_hairstyles/men+sexy+hairstyle+with+long+swept+bangs+with+full +of+layers.JPG.html

and this:

http://www.menshairstyles.net/v/men_fashion_hairstyles/man+fashion+hairstyle.jpg.html

I'm thinking that these kinds of haircuts are your best options. Since your hair is still currently too short to fully pull back and you also dislike the gelled back look, I really think that these kinds of haircuts are exactly what you are looking for.

I wish you the best of luck in getting one of those jobs. :beercheer:

[Fingolphin]

How about half ups for now? It keeps hair off the face

In that black and white photo in my profile, it is half-up, but that was in about 2008 when my hair was longer. Now the front isn't quite long enough for that. It's just now getting long enough to push it behind my ears.

[Yozhik]

...hmm. I was also going to suggest a half-up, but if you're not long enough for that yet, I'd just suggest keeping it tidy and dressing professionally. :)

Good luck!

[Fingolphin]

Right as of this moment, I want to cut. I keep vacillating. And my wife has a gift certificate. Just found out I didn't get one job I interviewed for. Was it because of the hair? Who knows, but it might have something to do with it. Stupid societal norms! :confused:

[Mesmerise]

Right as of this moment, I want to cut. I keep vacillating. And my wife has a gift certificate. Just found out I didn't get one job I interviewed for. Was it because of the hair? Who knows, but it might have something to do with it. Stupid societal norms! :confused:

Well, if you cut... you cut, and it WILL always grow back! However, do try and put yourself in the position you were in last time you cut, and think very carefully about how you felt then... and decide whether you'll feel the same way now.

I honestly think a company will hire you if you're right for the job, regardless of whether your hair is a little on the long side or not. Alternatively, you could go for a "longish" short cut... so leave it a bit longer at the front and on top and maybe tidy up the back a bit. That way there won't be as much regrowth necessary if you decide to grow it long again.

[sweetestpoison]

i know when my hair was in an awkward stage like that i seriously considered cutting it into a pixie because i was tired of it. I'm glad i didn't because now my hair is long and healthy :cheese: but my suggestion to you is not to cut it because you will only make your short haired sentence longer to carry out. You want long hair now and will have to wait patiently for it but if you cut it you are setting yourself back on months of progress. That's just my opinion though

[MrsGuther]

It is driving me nuts right now. Not really long enough to put in a ponytail (at least not all of it, especially in the front, and I don't like pony stubs), and just annoying in general. I'm also having to do some new job interviews right now, and (unfortunately) there seems to be a negative association with men and long hair (at least around here). I must be either a slob or a druggie, or both, right? *sigh* So that makes me kind of want to cut. It's not right, but I imagine some of these potential employers take one look at me and rule me out of the running. But last time I cut (and I really thought I wanted it), I regretted it almost immediately. I can't make up my mind.

Do some soul-searching ( hair decision searching, should I say), wait two weeks, then make your decision. Making a snap decision about a hair cut can be detrimental to your self esteem and your emotions. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

[growingpains]

What about a half up? I think that's look smart!

[Fingolphin]

I think I just may do it today. I'm vacillating minute-to-minute.

[MonaLisa]

Please don;t cut :( went through your pictures and it's so lovely...perhaps you could layer it a bit, it would give it more of a style...but careful...
i dont like that most men have one same hairstyle, short, like bots :(
I'm sorry who am i to tell you what to do...but but but, please dont cut it!

[battles]

I think I just may do it today. I'm vacillating minute-to-minute.

From experience.. I always get frustrated with my hair and chop it, and regret it at least within a few days and decide to grow it out again. If you know you'll want to grow your hair out again, you'll just have to go through the entire short hair growing process again.

It's totally your decision, but make sure this is something you truly want to do. Think about it for awhile, unlike me. :)

[RitaPG]

What is it that you do again? English not being my first language, I'm not sure what assisted-living specialist stands for :o sorry
You obviously seem to know you'll regret it, the awkward stage must be really annoying but give it a couple more months and should be able to pull it back.
Unless you are in corporate business, I don't really see how that would make a huge difference.

[woolyleprechaun]

Personally, I dont think Id go with the 'slicked back look' out of fear of lookin abit oily or crack-dealer like (anyone with that hair I AM NOT saying you look like that!! I just mean its how it MAY come across...:o) as long as your hair is impeccably clean, along with yourself obviously, I cant see a problem! As for the way YOU feel....remind yourself what exactly it is you want from your hair. What is your goal? Everyone has those 'in-between' blue, but you'd have grown out of it in no time at all. I myself have been growing out a buzz for the last three years and honestly feel your pain!!!! Im only just starting to like how it looks. Dont upset yourself for nothing, keep your eye on the prize!!:)

[Slinks]

LOL! :) Well, Legolas has elven hair, so I imagine it is always cooperative. And is that the guy from Criminal Minds? Some of my coworkers and relatives are always telling me I look like him, but I don't think I do.
I just had a look and I must say "oh yes" you do look like him :-)

[Slinks]

I think I just may do it today. I'm vacillating minute-to-minute.
okay did it happen ?? lol .. no matter, we love you all the same !! :-)

[selderon]

I think I just may do it today. I'm vacillating minute-to-minute.

*sob* Nooooooo!

On the other hand, it is just hair. If you decide to cut, it will grow back. In the meantime, we'll all love you the same.

[RecklessCharlie]

Just think long and hard about how you felt the last time you cut it. And let that feeling guide you :)

[McFearless]

Hang in there baby. The minute you cut you're going to want to grow it o ut again and you'll have to do this annoying stage ALL OVER AGAIN. Pony stubs are ridiculously cute on guys. Work it.

[Fingolphin]

Yep, I did it. In the end I decided that it would probably help me with the job situation. Of course, I still want long hair. While it looks nice for a short haircut, and feels good (physically), I definitely want to grow it again. So I'm back to square one. All that hard work and nurturing down the drain. *Sigh* I can do it. The trick is to first land the job and then grow it. :) The stylist did tell me that I had a ton of hair, and that made me feel good. So wish me luck; I'm starting over (again)! :o

[vindo]

My boyfriends hair is at that inbetween stage, but really it does not last that long, I would not cut for that reason, only if you want to. I encourage him to stay strong, he has cut his hair from shoulder blade to buzz cut before and regrets it now.

[Fingolphin]

My boyfriends hair is at that inbetween stage, but really it does not last that long, I would not cut for that reason, only if you want to. I encourage him to stay strong, he has cut his hair from shoulder blade to buzz cut before and regrets it now.

Too late. :scissors:

[elbow chic]

Aw, good luck. I agree that having a stable job must take precedence over one's hair goals. A shame that society is so hard on longhaired men that way.

Good luck, God speed!

[tigr]

Fingolphin - good luck with the job search!

[Fingolphin]

Thank you all. But I definitely intend to grow it again. I am by no means deterred from that! Just set back a bit.

[Slinks]

Ya I second the good luck in your job search :-)

[selderon]

I like your attitude! :D It will grow back.

I am proud of you!

[Fingolphin]

I like your attitude! :D It will grow back.

I am proud of you!

Thank you! ;)

[Maddy25]

I grew out from a really short pixie, this phase sucks but I promise it wont last long :D

Edit: Opps I just saw you updated, I'm glad you feel better about getting it cut :)

[DAK-S81]

My husband is is exactly your position. His hair is just barely long enough for a stubby ponytail, but hairs still slip out easily and he finds it too annoying to deal with. He's also looking for a new job and is questioning whether he should cut it or not. He likes it long but is concerned about the impression he might make during interviews.