Loosing my cool now

[Tefnut]

Ok. Hair is still snapping. Trims don't seem to help cos a few days later the ends are split again! Tried henna...made my hair feel wierd and didn't come out. Tried co-washing for a few weeks made my hair too greasy and ends feel worse. Thing is you may say my hair is over damaged....then why does it generally feel and look quite well? I can often run my fingers through my hair, feels soft, looks shiney and healthy everyone comments how healthy my hair looks so wtf?! It's been the same length over 3 years pretty much i may gain and inch then a month later loose it again. Tried oiling it (makes my hair fall out feel crunchy really don't like oil) I just don't know what else to try?! am I just not meant to have long hair? I cut it like BSL length when i was about 20 from like waist length, and have never managed to grow it back that long since....and considering even when my hair was waist length i was dying it every month, well....i'm just lost.

[jojo]

Your the same type as me and mine does this too; frustrating huh! when my hair was bsl it started the breaking bit too and the one thing which has helped my ends loads is daily oiling on the last 4" and then bunning those ends away. I have managed to get to just past waist by doing this. Also check your scissors if they are blunt, they will cause more split ends; i learnt the hard way there too! I see your in the UK superdrugs do hairdressing scissors for £4. Also apart from oiling the ends which will help in keeping the ends moisturised, weekly deep conditioning treatments (DC) and 2 monthly protein treatments help me. I use aphogee 2 step (cheaper on ebay) which is a strong treatment but it really does help my hair but always follow with a DC when you have done one.

I totally understand where you are coming from, been there still there! oh and snip those individual splits off. I also dust the ends every 3-4 months.

[Annibelle]

Did you oil the whole length of your hair? When I did that, it would make it super oily (of course), but really DRY after I washed the oil out! Now I just coconut oil the ends (like one inch only) and it helps protect them from damage and helps moisturize-- my ends eat it up!

[Tefnut]

I just oil the ends last 4 inches say, tried allsorts of different oils (am an aromatherapist) the snaps just fall off when i do this. We have a hairdressers where I work so she trims the ends. Then i do have hairdressing scissors i use at home for odd splits.
My hair has got thicker the past few months just these dam ends. I've no idea how i grew it before i didn't deo anything to it just neglected it pretty much! Barely used to brush it lol

[chenille]

It's so frustrating when hair won't do what you want, I know. My suggestion is to keep trying new things. I tried CO washing and it didn't work for me at all...too heavy and looked greasy. Tried a lighter conditioner...same story. Then one day I tried using the second conditioner again, but I mixed it about half and half with water before the CO wash. It worked! I was so surprised. There are so many techniques, the challenge is finding what's right for your hair.

[Delila]

How certain are you that you don't need to remove buildup?

I'd say try a chelating shampoo, followed by a moisturizing conditioner that won't build up.

[virgo75]

Ok. Hair is still snapping. Trims don't seem to help cos a few days later the ends are split again! Tried henna...made my hair feel wierd and didn't come out. Tried co-washing for a few weeks made my hair too greasy and ends feel worse. Thing is you may say my hair is over damaged....then why does it generally feel and look quite well? I can often run my fingers through my hair, feels soft, looks shiney and healthy everyone comments how healthy my hair looks so wtf?! It's been the same length over 3 years pretty much i may gain and inch then a month later loose it again. Tried oiling it (makes my hair fall out feel crunchy really don't like oil) I just don't know what else to try?! am I just not meant to have long hair? I cut it like BSL length when i was about 20 from like waist length, and have never managed to grow it back that long since....and considering even when my hair was waist length i was dying it every month, well....i'm just lost.

To the bolded: Is it possible that the ends that are snapping off are remnants of hair that was dyed?

It might not have snapped off right away, but years down the line it would be much weaker than hair that hasn't been dyed monthly.

Also, have you tried CWC? That works much better for me than CO washing. I just coat my dry hair with conditioner(or conditioner mixed with oil/honey/etc) and leave that on for a while before I shampoo. And when I do shampoo I usually dilute the shampoo in an applicator bottle- 1 TBS shampoo in 8 oz. water -and shampoo with that followed by another condition.

I hope you're able to find a solution soon. :flower:

[spidermom]

I can recommend CWC with diluted shampoo also. It's the best change I made for my hair, also coconut oil. However, when I had extremely damaged ends from heat styling, I hated the way oil made my hair feel. Once those bad ends were gone, oil worked much better; I love it now.

Take a pinch of clean dry hair at the scalp and slide your fingers down the hair. If you come to an area that feels noticeably rough compared to the rest, that is what you will need to cut off because of damage. You can do it all at once (which is what I do), or half an inch at a time. It's up to you, but the damage must go before you can make progress.

[celebriangel]

Is it possible your hair desperately needs some moisture treatments? Also, what did you mean by the henna "didn't come out" - well of course it didn't, it's never going to, it's permenant. If you mean the actual resin, I did 2 mermaid soaks, rinsed for 10 minutes, filled my hair with half a big bottle of conditioner, rinsed for another 5 minutes, and even then I was still getting henna out at the next wash.

Also, henna will make your hair feel weird for a few days-a week afterwards. This is worsened if you don't do a moisture treatment. I left my hair alone as an experiment and mine wasn't too bad, just weird, but for most F people it is imperative you do an SMT, for example, after you henna to restore moisture, bearing in mind henna is a protein treatment.

Also, are you using cones? Sometimes, damaged hair carefully treated with coney products can look and feel nice up to the point where it snaps. I would do a thorough clarifying session and condition with a conefree conditioner to assess the true condition of your hair.

I agree what others have said about dye damage. Again, the cones might be hiding it. Do you know where your virgin hair starts? Is it snapping? If so, very weak hair can be the result of a medical condition, e.g. low iron. Please get this checked out. Medical conditions can sometimes cause weak hair and nails rather than making your hair fall out. How are your nails?

[Joribear]

Take a pinch of clean dry hair at the scalp and slide your fingers down the hair. If you come to an area that feels noticeably rough compared to the rest, that is what you will need to cut off because of damage. You can do it all at once (which is what I do), or half an inch at a time. It's up to you, but the damage must go before you can make progress.

This makes me very sad! It would leave me with about 2" of hair around my head! :disgust:

[alyanna]

I can recommend CWC with diluted shampoo also. It's the best change I made for my hair, also coconut oil. However, when I had extremely damaged ends from heat styling, I hated the way oil made my hair feel. Once those bad ends were gone, oil worked much better; I love it now.

Take a pinch of clean dry hair at the scalp and slide your fingers down the hair. If you come to an area that feels noticeably rough compared to the rest, that is what you will need to cut off because of damage. You can do it all at once (which is what I do), or half an inch at a time. It's up to you, but the damage must go before you can make progress.



This makes me very sad! It would leave me with about 2" of hair around my head! :disgust:


I'm afraid I'd have to agree with Spidermom. At a certain point, we all just have to deal with that damage. I'm in the same boat as you Joribear. And the same as you, Tef, in that my hair *looks* healthy. But I would fail Spidermom's strand test.

Since you've pretty much tried everything and nothing seems to be helping, you may have to go with the most obvious reason for snapping hair: it's damaged.

Don't be mad :blossom:

[spidermom]

My strand test wouldn't be applicable for all. Some people naturally have coarse hair that feels bumpy and rough. So disregard if that's you. The slide test is what I do to decide how much I need to have trimmed. That's what works for my hair, which - of course, like anything else - doesn't mean it will work for yours.

[EmiliaF]

Also check your scissors if they are blunt, they will cause more split ends; i learnt the hard way there too!


This was my first thought as well! My splits just kept increasing after every S&D session! Since I've started bunning my hair every day and stopped S&D-ing, I hardly have any splits at all.
Don't give up. I think you can definitely get there again! I also have my moments when I want to cut, but I've done that once (hip-length to chin-length bob) and I wasn't happier afterwards. So now even when I'm in a shedding phase or discover split after split I think that cutting would just make me feel worse. On those days I bun it away and try to stop obsessing. :cheese:

[Kaelee]

I thought I posted earlier but I guess it didn't go through (I was on my phone...)

You said that when your hair was long, you didn't do much with it. Is it possible you're trying to hard now? My hair does beautifully with a healthy dose of neglect. Cone filled shampoo every single day without fail, only using conditioner once a week (a deep conditioner...I like Aussie 3MM) and oiling the ends daily after my shower. Put it in a ponytail and keep it there. I don't own any styling products and don't let a heat styler near my hair...not so much out of avoidance (though I definitely want to avoid heat styling now) but because I can't be bothered with styling LOL. I also henna once a month or so (sometimes two months.)

I know a lot of people have great success with conditioner-only washing but honestly, my hair FREAKS OUT when I use any conditioner regularly. I had to stop using it because it made my hair get just awful. I can use the Aussie with no problem, but as I said, I only use it once or maybe twice a week. I have to shampoo daily because I work in a machine shop and um...motorex on your head daily tends to make you want to wash your hair LOL. :D

[wendy51]

Chelating shampoo worked very well for me.. it used to feel exactly like you said.i would use it each week, then my PH was restored

Try to baggy your ends : you put your favorite oil on your ends. put a.lot!
of it. Then, take a plastic bag or whatever, with a rubberband,do a bun with the plastic covering it.Tie it, then take off the bag the morning. It will be well nourished =]

ACV rinse is more than good too; it limits knots and breakage

PS:by the way, i noticed also that products with cones were killing my hair,*when they were porous, like yours* i think that it's better to avoid that

i think that if you take care of it with minimal products (just 1 or 2)it will go well ^^

[Cimorene]

I second Kaelee's suggestion of benign neglect. Have you been wearing your hair down a lot? Maybe there is mechanical damage from wind, your hair rubbing against seats, etc. If so, you could try wearing it up most of the time and see if that helps prevent breakage. Examine your typical hair care routine and see if there is anything you can change to put less stress on your strands, such as washing fewer times per week, using a satin pillowcase, wearing it up more, etc. Maybe your hair just needs to not be fussed with for awhile.

[GRU]

This makes me very sad! It would leave me with about 2" of hair around my head! :disgust:

Don't fret over it.... it grows, honest!

When I first joined LHC and started the whole CO-washing curly girl stuff, after a couple months I was AMAZED at how good my roots felt! They didn't feel like goat hair anymore! But then, like you, I'd start hitting "goat hair" after about an inch, and it was that way all the way down to my waist! :(

I just kept up with my hair-friendly routine and slowly but surely that section of smooth hair is getting longer and longer!!! A few times a year I chop off an inch or two of my goat hair ends, and hopefully within the next couple years I won't have any more goat hair at all! :D

So hang in there!

[Mesmerise]

To the bolded: Is it possible that the ends that are snapping off are remnants of hair that was dyed?

It might not have snapped off right away, but years down the line it would be much weaker than hair that hasn't been dyed monthly.

I hope you're able to find a solution soon. :flower:

This is what I'm thinking too. If your ends are still growing out old dye, it could be that it's just old damage and that's why your hair breaks and splits. I believe that hair can FEEL okay and still be damaged...and that hair that didn't appear damaged when first dyed, can show damage years later (I guess what I mean is that the dyeing has already weakened the hair, so anything else will just cause the hair to split easier than if it hadn't been dyed).

I think the only other thing is experiment, experiment and experiment some more! How long did you try CO washing for and did you try different conditioners, or try diluting them? What oils have you tried and how much did you use? I think there are many factors that play into whether something works for you or not.

Oh, and remember that DAMAGE CAN'T BE FIXED! You can "patch it up" a bit, but you can't heal it. Many people find doing protein treatments or something will stop their hair from breaking as easily, BUT the underlying hair still has the damage. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is wait for the damage to be gone completely.

Also as others have said, check the scissors you use on your hair, because if they're not sharp enough they will damage the ends which will lead to more splitting. You don't need really expensive scissors, just ones designed for cutting hair.

[dragonchickx]

What kind of scissors do you use? That can really make a difference between starting off a cut right or making the problem worse. I learned the hard way.

[Roscata]

I'm wondering if you use any type of heat on your hair, that could cause split ends and breakage. Also I read your profile and this: "I brush my hair about 3 times a day" can cause mechanical damage.

If you haven't looked at the article section yet, I suggest reading these two articles:
Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79)
Keeping Split Ends At Bay: Secrets of Gently Handling Your Hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=8)

Good luck on your hair journey! :)

[Tefnut]

Have tried virtually everything you guys have suggested....wearing hair up all the time, wearing it loose all the time....i put a silk scarf over my pillow clarifyed my hair, tried cones, no cones, no cones or parabens, my hair is v soft i doo deep condition at least once usually twice a week. the hairdresser trims my hair though haven't been trimmed for 6 months as i found trimming too much wasn't helping the length My hair still has a lot of dye on it sure. I henna'd it to help strengthen but the henna didn't take on my hair even though i'd been clariffying for weeks before hand. will try hennaing it again this week. I've started microtrimming it with sharp hairdressing scissors when i see splits. I stopped heat styling about 4 months ago. I've discovered my hair prefers a shampoo and condition and every other day. I can't leave it too long without cos it goes dry at the ends and greasy on top. I guess i'll have to just keep experimenting? I think the only think i haven't tried is a protein treatment as i'm not sure which/how what to use.

[Chetanlaiho]

What I ussually do for a protein treatment is mix up avocado, egg and honey. Maybe a little bit of EVOO, blend it till it's a green paste, get the goop in dry hair, leave it on for a couple of hours and wash it out (really well xD) I've only done it three times so far but my hair seems to like it ^^

[Tefnut]

What I ussually do for a protein treatment is mix up avocado, egg and honey. Maybe a little bit of EVOO, blend it till it's a green paste, get the goop in dry hair, leave it on for a couple of hours and wash it out (really well xD) I've only done it three times so far but my hair seems to like it ^^


Sounds like it'd smell horrid lol

[FluffSpider]

Wait...aromatherapy oils? You're not supposed to oil your hair with those powerful-smelling mostly synthetic oils, or made out of scented/plant-infused carrier oils. The oils everyone here on LHC talks about are natural(like the olive oil you use for cooking, not for scenting a room olive-y). The aromatherapy oils I own are actually... bad. Harsh. They aren't made for hair. Get a small bottle of almond oil, the natural kind. It's very light, and leaves my hair smooth, and it comes in little bottles so you won't waste anything if it still disagrees with you. Oh, and it's also a remedy for under-eye circles.

[Roscata]

Wait...aromatherapy oils? You're not supposed to oil your hair with those powerful-smelling mostly synthetic oils, or made out of scented/plant-infused carrier oils. The oils everyone here on LHC talks about are natural(like the olive oil you use for cooking, not for scenting a room olive-y). The aromatherapy oils I own are actually... bad. Harsh. They aren't made for hair. Get a small bottle of almond oil, the natural kind. It's very light, and leaves my hair smooth, and it comes in little bottles so you won't waste anything if it still disagrees with you. Oh, and it's also a remedy for under-eye circles.

I completely agree. Pure oils are the way to go.

[Kaelee]

Coconut oil!!! That stuff rocks, it's VERY light (heavier oils I don't like) and if your hair doesn't like it, feel free to cook with it! Available at any whole foods store or probably larger grocery store. :)

[Firefox7275]

If your curl is in the 2 range, you may well be best of combing rather than brushing. If the products you use at present are not giving you results, try another and another and another. A lot of LHCers find they fail with one CO-wash conditioner but succeed with a different brand. Clarifying regularly is harsh: to stretch washes try making up your own detangling spray for the ends and using dry shampoo at the roots. :) Hair can be damaged on the outside, damaged on the inside, both or damaged mainly at the ends due to accumulation of treatments or neglect, so some types of damage are more visible than others. My hair feels soft but it's still broken primarily from mechanical damage plus some chemical. You say you have tried everything that people suggest but the damage has to grow out, that takes years of commitment not a few months of care. If your hair is getting thicker that suggests shorter damaged parts are catching up instead of breaking, but perhaps the ends are just not salvageable. :shrug:

[Tefnut]

Wait...aromatherapy oils? You're not supposed to oil your hair with those powerful-smelling mostly synthetic oils, or made out of scented/plant-infused carrier oils. The oils everyone here on LHC talks about are natural(like the olive oil you use for cooking, not for scenting a room olive-y). The aromatherapy oils I own are actually... bad. Harsh. They aren't made for hair. Get a small bottle of almond oil, the natural kind. It's very light, and leaves my hair smooth, and it comes in little bottles so you won't waste anything if it still disagrees with you. Oh, and it's also a remedy for under-eye circles.

Aromatherapy oils are oils at there purest...coconut oil....jojoba are base oils things like patchouli or lavener are essential oils. there is no problem with using a few drops of essential oils in these mixes....You will find cooking oils are worse for your hair as they aren't as pure than buying base oil from a wholesaler. No offence but You obviously don't understand the difference between base oils and essential oils and stuff you get in the supermarket. I am qualified and have been practising many types of therapies using oils for years including indian and balanese head massage...If anyone knows about oils, what they do to your skin and body and which are the best to buy it's me :-p

[Lollipop]

Aromatherapy oils are oils at there purest...coconut oil....jojoba are base oils things like patchouli or lavener are essential oils. there is no problem with using a few drops of essential oils in these mixes....You will find cooking oils are worse for your hair as they aren't as pure than buying base oil from a wholesaler. No offence but You obviously don't understand the difference between base oils and essential oils and stuff you get in the supermarket. I am qualified and have been practising many types of therapies using oils for years including indian and balanese head massage...If anyone knows about oils, what they do to your skin and body and which are the best to buy it's me :-p

I think she assumed that you used synthetic "oils" (based on the olive-y smell comment, seeing as there are no Olive EOs), like Glade type stuff. I think when she was talking about that bad/harsh stuff she was not refering to essential oils, but rather artificial fragrance oils that are cheap and of no value to hair.

On anther note, you have access to essential oils, but do you lso have base/carrier oils to dilute them in. I mean, while some EOs can be applied directly, wouldn't most be too harsh?

[Red_Wednesday]

I have had issues with breakage before and it's mindboggling - believe me, I know. In my experience, it seems that applying "certain" oils to my hair just makes it worse, almost as if I'm preventing much needed moisture from actually getting through to my hair. So in my experience, I've actually had more breakage from applying certain oils.

Coconut oil is lovely, but if I use it too often, bam! Breakage city:rolleyes:.

The only thing that I have tried that has actually managed to keep my breakage in check is a deep treatment of banana, aloe vera juice and olive oil.

I use baby food bananas, the real ones leave pulp and strings - not worth the effort.

For my hair super dry hair, I use one 4.5 to 5 oz jar of baby food bananas, 1 tablespoon of Aloe vera juice and 1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil.

I shampoo, and then slather the mixture on and sit under a heating cap for at least 30 minutes. If I have extra time, 45 minutes under a heat cap, then wrap it in a towel and let it sit for another 15+ minutes. Rinse well. I usually feel a noticeable difference in my hair right away.

When the breakage was really pronounced, I did this 2 times a week for a couple weeks, then switched to once a week. When my hair got better, I backed off all together and did ok for a couple weeks then started to notice those crazy snapped short hairs again. Now I know never to go completely cold turkey as my hair seems to really enjoy the results. Dr. Oz actually mentioned the benefits of bananas for hair a while ago, so I did some experimenting and found that this combo does wonders for me.

Personally, unless your hair feels extra soft and mushy when wet, I wouldn't think you would need a whole lot of protein. It sounds like if you have to wash it a lot to keep the moisture in it, then that's probably what it's craving - moisture. The problem is that your hair is getting its moisture with the water, but it's evaporating too quickly, so you end up having to wash again right away - not so healthy for your hair, so it becomes a vicious cycle. The recipe above should help, but you might not be able to have the "bouncy, care-free" hair you are looking for right after this - in fact, it might feel a bit heavy, but if you rinse really well you shouldn't get that greaseball effect:p. The important thing is it should begin to give your hair some elasticity.

Also, if you're ok with wearing your hair up for a while, you might also try a little cocoa butter and a little extra olive oil mixed together and apply that to your damp ends before putting it up. I've personally found coconut oil, shea, even jojoba all make my hair "plastic-y" and seem to block out the moisture that I need. As I mentioned earlier, it sounds like your hair needs a bit more elasticity, if it's too dry it's not "giving" any when you are manipulating it, so it's snapping right off.

Everyone is so different, so as mentioned already, you'll have to experiment, but this has really helped me immensely.

Best!

[FluffSpider]

Aromatherapy oils are oils at there purest...coconut oil....jojoba are base oils things like patchouli or lavener are essential oils. there is no problem with using a few drops of essential oils in these mixes....You will find cooking oils are worse for your hair as they aren't as pure than buying base oil from a wholesaler. No offence but You obviously don't understand the difference between base oils and essential oils and stuff you get in the supermarket. I am qualified and have been practising many types of therapies using oils for years including indian and balanese head massage...If anyone knows about oils, what they do to your skin and body and which are the best to buy it's me :-p

I respect your qualification, but at first I was tempted to put some oils I had lying around the house in my head, until I noticed the 'will cause rashes/avoid all contact with skin' and that caused me to do a double-take. It might have simply not occured to you that those oils aren't what most of us use on our heads-God knows I used the 'irritant' lavander oil on my skin a couple of times then wondered why it stung me to no end. I have a sweet-almond based hand salve from Burt's bees, which I use at the moment-which is why I recommended that oil in particular, as it's very light. Despite the fact that it was VERY heavy and icky in my hair, castor oil made my ends incredibly soft-the sort of ends you feel a week after getting a massive trim.