Split ends, damage :(

[cocolady]

I'm really unhappy with my hair. It took me a long time to grow out my layers and I'm at about APL but now I feel like my split ends are everywhere. I S&D a lot but I feel like I'll never be able to find all of them. My hair also tangles a lot and when I put conditioner on I use a wide tooth comb to detangle and the tangles start at the top of my head which makes me think the damage is all the way up there :(
So is it just gonna get worse as it grows? Should I just cut off the damage and let it grow? I really don't want to start over again :( I don't know what to do. I use TIGI shampoo and conditioner and I sometimes put coconut oil on my hair. I rarely blow dry it, I usually let it air dry. Does anyone have any advice for me?

[Sundial]

Just wondering, where does your damage stem from? Was it from previous chemical damages? Or is there something in your current routine that contributes to this (i.e. mechanical damage from brushing/ponytailing)?

[Avital88]

Cut off halve an inch and see if there is improvement,try to put your hair in more protective styles also at night, because tangles on your head is usually not happening(to me)

[cocolady]

the damage comes from years of hair coloring from a medium brown to a strawberry blonde. I feel like my hair is really brittle and dry from the hair color. I usually wear my hair down and I'll try to wear it up more, maybe that's the problem.

[spitfire511]

I don't know if you've had a chance to look over this article by Nightshade, but it's a great one on damaged hair, how to grow it and how to take care of it.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79

I'd give it a read, it helped me a bunch!

If you feel like you're getting some mechanical damage from combing, I'd pick up a Tangle Teezer. Those things work wonders. You may just have to really baby your hair until you have a little more growth.

GL to you!!

[Madora]

I second the trimming..half an inch at least to begin with.

How are you wearing your hair? Snarls that start at the top are a royal pain and very hard to detangle gently.

I do not understand why you find it difficult to remove the tangles when your hair is full of conditioner.

Since your hair snarl problem sounds acute, I would suggest that you wear your hair confined at all times. If you don't know how to braid, then at least tie it back (gently) with a hair friendly clip, then band the length with cloth covered ponytail holders.

Be sure and keep it confined at night -- wear a silk cap and use a silk pillowcase.

Try using the conditioner again. Use your wide tooth comb and start detangling from the ENDS of your hair up to your scalp. Work on a SMALL section of hair - get it detangled - then take another section and detangle..and so forth. Try and be as gentle as possible.

When rinsing, do NOT SCRUB your head with your fingers. Use your fingertip pads and massage the conditioner out...try and massage in ONE DIRECTION only. The less you move your hair around on your head, the less chance for snarls/mats.

Give your hair a final rinse with cold water (to close the cuticles)

Gently squeeze the water from your hair between the palms of your hands. Wrap your hair in a thick towel and then wrap the towel around your head and let sit 10 minutes. Undo the towel.

Now bend at the waist. Bring all the hair in front of you, like a curtain. Part your hair from forehead to nape and separate the 2 sections. Band off one section to keep it separate and out of the way.

Working slowly, take a small section of hair and starting at the ends, start to detangle with your widetooth comb. Work your way up the strands until you reach the scalp.

Continue this way with all the other hair.

When all the hair is thoroughly detangled, take the ends in your hand. Stand erect.

Part hair again from forehead to nape. Take one section and band it to keep it separate from the other section.

Take a small section of hair from your front hairline, hold it up to your ear, then release it.

Repeat with the next section, and the next, and so forth. You are "fanning" your hair and letting air get thru it. Air must circulate if you want to air dry your hair quickly. (It takes me 20 minutes to air dry my hair outside using the "fanning" method. Indoor it takes 30 to 40 minutes..using a portable heater. My hair is thick and 42 inches long).

Once all the hair has been fanned and dry, check for tangles again then style as usual.

You might wish to use a small dab of coconut oil on your hair and ends to combat any flyaways.

I cannot emphasize enough that if you want beautiful hair, you're going to have to be extra vigilant in keeping snarls at bay. Snarls mean eventual damage..and damage means breakage..not conducive to healthy hair!

You have to be proactive on your hair quest. If you ignore snarls, you will regret it. Believe me, been there, done that. I loathe, despise, and abhor snarls. If you don't address the problem the snarl/matt will only get worse, and your only alternative will be to cut off the hair, and you surely don't want that!

Good luck!

[Sundial]

Then I agree with what Avital88 said about a mini trim to get rid of the splits. You can start babying it more and wearing it up more often to protect the ends. It is better than having the splits travel further up the hair shaft.

You mentioned something about the hair tangling from the top of the head. New growth shouldn't be that grabby. Are you using conditioner with protein? Are you experiencing some buildup issues?

[kitten1986]

OH my god i think we are in exactly the same position
i am just past apl... taking forrrevveerr to get to bsl!!!
the splits were just getting ridiculous so one night i sat down and microtrimmed my WHOLE head took AGES but it made it feel wayyy better and less snarly
I still have some splits cause my hair is heaps of different lengths and the shorter ones didnt get cut
and i also have fairly extensive damage so some of my hairs have just resplit straight away from being so damaged

so after that saga... I would say go for a microtrim and see how that feels
if you still cant stand it take off 1/2 to 1 inch and I am sure you will be feeling alot better about it:D

[KatiSasha]

Cocolady, are you still coloring your hair? I used to have the same problems as you with tangles starting at the top of my head. As soon as I stopped using bleach and chemical haircolor and switched to henna and indigo, my hair started to behave.

Take a look at my pic here http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=7820&pictureid=102657 . You can see that the growth is nice and smooth, but where the damage starts - frizz and tangles.
You don't have to cut off all the damage at once, just be prepared to keep trimming it away gradually. Meanwhile you can just gently deal with the tangles so that the damage doesn't keep travelling up your hair. What helps me is oiling the damaged part with jojoba oil the night before, sleep in a braid, detangle before washing, CO washing with Garnier Triple Nutrition and use a bit as a leave-in. But the only way for me to stop the tangling mess was to walk away from chemical dyes. Good luck!

[cupcake0619]

I don't mean to hijack the thread lol but, I have the same problem but its only after i rinse conditioner out of my hair in the shower. Like my hair is stuck to my head from the water or something, once i get it detangled it doesnt tangle up there anymore. Is that from dyes, because i havent dyed my hair for about 3 or 4 months and i have about 2 1/2 inches of completely vigin and another 2 inches before that were dyed only once and darker.

[LoveMyLongHair]

I second the trimming..half an inch at least to begin with.

How are you wearing your hair? Snarls that start at the top are a royal pain and very hard to detangle gently.

I do not understand why you find it difficult to remove the tangles when your hair is full of conditioner.

Since your hair snarl problem sounds acute, I would suggest that you wear your hair confined at all times. If you don't know how to braid, then at least tie it back (gently) with a hair friendly clip, then band the length with cloth covered ponytail holders.

Be sure and keep it confined at night -- wear a silk cap and use a silk pillowcase.

Try using the conditioner again. Use your wide tooth comb and start detangling from the ENDS of your hair up to your scalp. Work on a SMALL section of hair - get it detangled - then take another section and detangle..and so forth. Try and be as gentle as possible.

When rinsing, do NOT SCRUB your head with your fingers. Use your fingertip pads and massage the conditioner out...try and massage in ONE DIRECTION only. The less you move your hair around on your head, the less chance for snarls/mats.

Give your hair a final rinse with cold water (to close the cuticles)

Gently squeeze the water from your hair between the palms of your hands. Wrap your hair in a thick towel and then wrap the towel around your head and let sit 10 minutes. Undo the towel.

Now bend at the waist. Bring all the hair in front of you, like a curtain. Part your hair from forehead to nape and separate the 2 sections. Band off one section to keep it separate and out of the way.

Working slowly, take a small section of hair and starting at the ends, start to detangle with your widetooth comb. Work your way up the strands until you reach the scalp.

Continue this way with all the other hair.

When all the hair is thoroughly detangled, take the ends in your hand. Stand erect.

Part hair again from forehead to nape. Take one section and band it to keep it separate from the other section.

Take a small section of hair from your front hairline, hold it up to your ear, then release it.

Repeat with the next section, and the next, and so forth. You are "fanning" your hair and letting air get thru it. Air must circulate if you want to air dry your hair quickly. (It takes me 20 minutes to air dry my hair outside using the "fanning" method. Indoor it takes 30 to 40 minutes..using a portable heater. My hair is thick and 42 inches long).

Once all the hair has been fanned and dry, check for tangles again then style as usual.

You might wish to use a small dab of coconut oil on your hair and ends to combat any flyaways.

I cannot emphasize enough that if you want beautiful hair, you're going to have to be extra vigilant in keeping snarls at bay. Snarls mean eventual damage..and damage means breakage..not conducive to healthy hair!

You have to be proactive on your hair quest. If you ignore snarls, you will regret it. Believe me, been there, done that. I loathe, despise, and abhor snarls. If you don't address the problem the snarl/matt will only get worse, and your only alternative will be to cut off the hair, and you surely don't want that!

Good luck!

What an awesome tutorial for newbies and veterans alike! Thank you for that...I do all but I haven't tried the fanning......that will be done on my next wash day. :flower:

[growingpains]

I find cone free results in many more tangles? Are you cone free? What is TIGI? Do you use products to provide "slip" other than coconut oil?

It also sounds like your could have a buildup issue. Buildup can be from mineral oils in many hair products or cones. Depending on which a person has the solution is different.

It also sounds like your hair needs moisture. I would suggest some sort of leave in as well as regular oilings- both a small amount as a leave in and deeper oilings, esp on the ends before a wash. Maybe you need to try EVOO as opposed to coconut to switch it up a bit? When my ends feel like trash, spraying them with water, soaking then in EVOO and leaving them overnight before I wash is a dream. Afterwards they are soft and silky.

xxoxo

[cocolady]

Thanks everyone for the great advice!
For the people talking about buildup I don't know, I use this shampoo: http://www.thehairroom.co.uk/indiv.php?productID=228
and this conditioner: http://www.thehairroom.co.uk/indiv.php?productID=229
The ingridients are also listed there.
I don't color my hair with permanent dye anymore.. I did put on a semi-permanent dye a month ago though :rolleyes: But I'm not gonna do that anymore either. I'm gonna try sticking with henna.
I'm gonna try and get 1/2 inch trimmed off if that helps, but I don't know because I find splits further up than that. We'll see.
As stupid as it sounds my hair looks best when I blowdry it with an ionic blowdryer at low heat but I'm probably damaging it even more.

[ravenreed]

That shampoo has protein in it. Some of us, myself for instance, have hair that hates-hates-hates protein. If it isn't the protein, you may have a buildup from the cones in that shampoo. Try a clarifying wash and switch to a different shampoo to see if that helps.

I use a demi-permanent dye every three weeks without any problems, by the way. I tried henna but the warm red was horrible with my skin tone. Made me look ill. If you can pull it off, it might help your hair.

[cocolady]

Update:

It's still the same... I cut off a lot but as soon as it reaches BSL the ends look terrible.
I took a picture:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v24/lovelymiranda/DSCN13221_zpsaf57db71.jpg

Should I just chop it off at shoulder lenght? I'm really tempted.

[QMacrocarpa]

Are you mostly wearing it down? For me, wearing my hair down all the time leads to breakage that can keep up with my rate of growth, keeping me stalled at the same length with splitty, tangly hair forever. I think I've seen people mention that BSL is the length where the ends really start taking damage if the hair is always down. Rubbing between a chair and your back, for instance. BSL is where I had my own tangly, splitty false terminal.

An extra benefit to wearing your hair up is it keeps the ends tucked away, if you find them unsightly. Though your ends don't look awful to me, they look ... familiar. Probably much like my current ends would look if I subjected them to unmerciful scrutiny.

Unless you want shoulder-length hair, I wouldn't chop to that length. I find that tiny trims can make a big difference in how my ends behave (sure, you won't get every split, but reducing the number can help a lot). At least try a tiny trim first, it's easy to cut a bit more later.

[nobeltonya]

Make sure you're combing from the bottom up. Also, maybe you could try wet bunning after washing for a few hours, and microtrim [like 0.25"] every few weeks.. don't chop it all off at once. :disco:

[jacqueline101]

Id trim half inch off and see if that helps then I'd put some oil on the ends to seal and moisturize the ends. After that wear of up in a protective up do.

[goldloli]

I dont know if this has already been said, but when you dye your hair the alkalinity lifts the cuticle in order to get the colour molecules in. As a result the cuticles can remain lifted afterwards. These are prone to catching and tangling, then breaking, along with dryness since the moisture just escapes from inside the strand. This could be why you're experiencing tangles right up to the top. In this case using a sls free poo (or none), moisturising conditioners and acidic rinses would be most beneficial. Possibly a protein treatment and coconut oil too. If you use bicarb or sls containing shampoos to wash, you should always be following with an acid rinse, as these will make the problem worse.

[RavenBaby]

If it's really really upsetting you then I would say get an inch off and if you still are unhappy get another inch off like 2 weeks after that, that's what I would force myself to do :P

[Khiwanean]

I'd secodn what goldloli suggested and add that you just may need to find a good conditioner that works for you. Try looking for one without cones if that's what you have been using or one with if you've been avoiding them. Experiment to see whether your hair likes protein or not. You also might have good luck with braids to keep mechanical damage to a minimum, especially for when you're sleeping.

[Vivalagina]

I would start with a small trim and see if it feels better. It won't feel perfect, but the growing process takes time and eventually you will get rid of the damaged hair.

I find that for my hair, I absolutely cannot detangle my hair when it is wet. It snaps and retangles - basically a nightmare. I am able to gentle finger-comb my hair when it is almost completely dry without causing more damage. I separate small sections and gentle smooth it from the ends up. Trying to comb my hair even when it's loaded with a bunch of conditioner doesn't work, it still snaps and pulls out hairs.

I also notice a huge improvement by bunning or braiding my hair most of the time. It cuts down the extra mechanical damage, and also helps me not think about my hair.

[Wildcat Diva]

I would like to suggest catnip soaks to prevent future splits. You can read about it on the catnip thread. So maybe your future hair will be stronger.

[spirals]

My very ends are color-damaged and my hair is just naturally tangly because it's curly. I don't do shampoo and conditioner anymore, but an acid rinse after washing, left in, helps to loosen up my hair. I baby my ends. I do use a moisturizing spray all over, and lightly oil the lengths a couple of time a week, but the really dry ends get an occasional dose of coconut oil at night, which sinks in overnight. Coconut oiling all my hair overnight before washing helps a lot. I do a clarifying wash if I've done a super-heavy oiling (2 to 3 tablespoons oil for my waist-length hair).

[spirals]

I would like to suggest catnip soaks to prevent future splits. You can read about it on the catnip thread. So maybe your future hair will be stronger.
This, too. The moisturizing flax spray I make uses catnip tea. I'd do a catnip rinse, but my scalp reacted to that, so this way the catnip gets on my hair without bothering the scalp. I don't know how, but it helps seal my ends a bit, and along with the flax, makes my hair shine. And my hair does not shine on it's own.

[jesis]

Have you ever tried a tangle teezer? I've noticed my damage has been significantly reduced since I started brushing with one.

Just hang in there, I know growing out chemical damage is tough (especially since I just made the mistake of setting myself back with it, again), but you can do it! You might just have to keep S&Ding often until you reach a point that you don't have to any longer.

Good luck :)

[cocolady]

thank you for all the replies! After all the good advice on here I no longer have the urge to chop it all off lol... I really should wear my hair up more... I always wear it down and I really think that's the main problem. I'll try.

[renia22]

Were you able to grow out a lot of your chemical dye since your original post? I don't know if something like this might help to "hold" the split ends together a little bit while you are growing out the dye. I saw it in a lush store today & didn't buy it because I wanted to see reviews for it first, but it looks like people like it:

http://www.lushusa.com/Shine-So-Bright/03742,en_US,pd.html?start=6&cgid=hair-treatments

A nice hair cream (Dr. Bronner's makes a good one) might have a similar effect.