Bored! So bored!

[Wanderer09]

My hair and I have made our peace. After finally growing out some icky bleach damage and some very annoying layers, it takes much less time to detangle, my braids look sleek and neat, and I can happily let it grow to my ultimate goal of classic length.

But why am I so bored with it now?!

For the past few months I've just been itching to do something to it! I look in the mirror and I want something fun and different.

I know I want to stay away from artificial dyes, because I've worked so hard to improve the health of my hair. If I end up dyeing, I'll probably use henna and indigo for a nice, dark brown colour. But I know I'm lazy. I know that maintaining the roots is going to be the most annoying thing. And if I end up hating how the colour looks on me, my only choice would be to cut, because henndigo is forever.

But, a part of me is craving shorter hair, and actually does want to cut. I want choppy fun layers, and the freedom to bleach and play with crazy colours to my heart's content. I'd also like to look more androgynous, to match how I feel on the inside. I know long hair isn't inherently feminine, and I don't see it as such. But most of the world does. And when they look at me, they see a long-haired girl, and I've realized it doesn't match my gender identity. I wish I could have long hair without being considered feminine. :/

What's stopping me from cutting is that a) Everytime I've had short hair, I've hated it, b) I'll end up with a curly, poofy mess on my head because I'm too lazy to straighten and use product everyday, and c) Growing it out if I decide I hate it is going to be a nightmare.

Argh. I wish I could magically make my hair grow overnight, so that I could switch back and forth between lengths as it suited my fancy. Wouldn't that be nice? :D

Oh, and here's my most recent length pic. No curls, because I combed them out. The ends are reddish from a henna gloss I did last July...it's amazing how permanent this stuff is!

http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w304/wanderer09/P1030895.jpg

Any advice on what I should do? Should I just keep buying hairtoys and learning new styles, and wait for the boredom to go away? ;)

[buttercupmcgee]

I'm new here myself but there appears to be a "two week rule", where, if you're tempted to cut, you wait two weeks and if you still want the change....go for it.

I know how you feel, I've been in your shoes. I am growing out from a short bob right now, in fact. Let me tell you, from the other side of the fence, that the boredom I felt with long hair was nothing compared to the ennui I'm experiencing now, at this drab length with few updo options.

Once the novelty of short flippy hair wears off, it's a long road to get back to a place where you have styling versatility. Food for thought!

If you identify more with short hair though, that may be different. I identify as very feminine, so I almost always instantly regret cutting it.

Could you try a wig?

[Roseate]

Oh, look at you hanging out at my goal length and complaining! :p

What about a temporary deposit-only dye for a quick change? You couldn't go lighter, but you could get a nice dark brown pretty easily, test it out before committing to henndigo.

I used Surya Henna Cream (http://www.amazon.com/Surya-Henna-70-2-31-Ounces/dp/B0007DHMH4) a while back; the name is misleading, it contains no real henna and washes out completely after a few months. I enjoyed the change, and it was such a PITA to apply that it really reinforced that I wouldn't like dealing with roots.

The butchest butch woman I have ever met had a hip-length braid, and my 6'4" tradesman brother's hair is even longer, so I can guarantee that gender presentation doesn't track with hair length! I know the feeling though. But when I have short hair, it's just so fussy... it actually requires more girly hair-maintenance than long.

[Signe]

why not try crazy colours with a veggie dye like manic panic or something? that way you can change it whenever and imo bright colours are quite gender neutral

[jojo]

heck your hair is gorgeous and I think if you cut it, you would regret it. Like your hip length, my next stop. I get bored with mine from time to time and what I do is do a long deep condition and then practice different up dos. I hope you don't cut it would be a shame.

[cowgirllong]

You know, where I live long hair doesn't equal being thought of as girly, girly. I know a lot of ranch women with really long hair who are not exactly the epitome of femininity. I think high upkeep hair is more 'feminine', no matter the length. Like someone else mentioned, there are a lot of guys out there with long pony tails/braids.

I'm sure you know better than to make a change without thinking about it.:cool:

[torrilin]

I'd stick your hair in an updo and ignore it.

If you are not happy being viewed as a female, get some help learning how to present as male. Like long hair, deciding to transition to a new gender is a journey. Might as well start now. If it turns out you are in the wrong sort of body, the sooner you start the sooner you can find a livable solution. And if it turns out you're a woman who likes a lot of stuff our culture types as masculine, that is ok too. You won't know which you are without some experiment.

Your concerns are real, and they've got basically nothing to do with your hair.

Good luck!

[sweetestpoison]

Argh. I wish I could magically make my hair grow overnight, so that I could switch back and forth between lengths as it suited my fancy. Wouldn't that be nice? :D

Any advice on what I should do? Should I just keep buying hairtoys and learning new styles, and wait for the boredom to go away? ;)

Whenever anybody asked me what super power i would have if i could, it was to be able to grow my hair overnight like that!! Lol...

As for advice, the best thing i can say to do is look up hair tutorials on youtube. That's what i do, and now i prefer updo's with my hair! (well there are also 2 factors to that: 1 i'm not happy with it's current length and 2 i'm trying to grow it longer so i'm protecting it) torrin paige is one of my favorites, she shows some updo's that are really fancy looking but so simple! Good luck!

[Delila]

Over the years, I've learned to distract myself when I get the urge to 'do something.'

Keeping a journal, doing a deep conditioning something or other, using a chelating shampoo once in a while, finding something else to think about completely, all seem to help.

[Mesmerise]

I'd stick your hair in an updo and ignore it.

If you are not happy being viewed as a female, get some help learning how to present as male. Like long hair, deciding to transition to a new gender is a journey. Might as well start now. If it turns out you are in the wrong sort of body, the sooner you start the sooner you can find a livable solution. And if it turns out you're a woman who likes a lot of stuff our culture types as masculine, that is ok too. You won't know which you are without some experiment.

Your concerns are real, and they've got basically nothing to do with your hair.

Good luck!

Well she said she sees herself as androgynous, which is different to male ;) it's essentially gender neutral rather than polarizing to either gender.

And back to the OP, I do understand what you mean about long hair as being essentially considered "feminine", however it isn't really... I think it's more what you do with it! Lots of guys have long hair and still look extremely masculine, and thus hair shouldn't have a real gender connotation put on it. Although given that, a lot of women don't feel all that "feminine" with short hair...and thus having short hair would make you look more androgynous in the eyes of the world I guess (just as men with long hair can look more androgynous than men with short "masculine" haircuts). But I think there's a lot more to androgyny than hair! Manner of dress, attitude, walk, general behavior etc. are far more telltale than whether or not hair is long or short!

I would agree with others on the two week rule. See how you feel and if, in two weeks, you're still bored, then think of some smaller change you could make to your hair that won't be as drastic to change... whether it's a semi permanent color, or a couple of inches chopped off the ends.

If you've had short hair before and hated it, odds are high that you'll hate it again (I've been down that road myself SEVERAL times...). You imagine yourself with fun, choppy layers, but how would they look on YOUR hair? Your hair is naturally curly, and choppy layers probably won't do much more than make your hair poof out everywhere (which you already know ;)) because what works in straighter hair, doesn't have the same effect on curly hair! You don't want to have to straighten daily and use product to get the look you want, so deep down you know you'll probably just get super frustrated with your hair if you do cut it off!

You mention wanting to bleach and stuff, so could you try bleaching a streak in your hair, or in your fringe, and putting in some different color there? You won't be damaging much of your hair, and it will certainly look different!

[Wanderer09]

I know how you feel, I've been in your shoes. I am growing out from a short bob right now, in fact. Let me tell you, from the other side of the fence, that the boredom I felt with long hair was nothing compared to the ennui I'm experiencing now, at this drab length with few updo options.

Once the novelty of short flippy hair wears off, it's a long road to get back to a place where you have styling versatility. Food for thought!

I hear ya! That's one of my biggest fears about cutting: not being able to just stick it in a bun and ignore it anymore. Or braids...I quite like braids. Options are good. :)


Oh, look at you hanging out at my goal length and complaining! :p

What about a temporary deposit-only dye for a quick change? You couldn't go lighter, but you could get a nice dark brown pretty easily, test it out before committing to henndigo.

Aww, you don't seem too far from your goal length yourself. :p You'll get there!

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll see if the health food store carries the dye you recommended. :cheese:


If you are not happy being viewed as a female, get some help learning how to present as male. Like long hair, deciding to transition to a new gender is a journey. Might as well start now. If it turns out you are in the wrong sort of body, the sooner you start the sooner you can find a livable solution. And if it turns out you're a woman who likes a lot of stuff our culture types as masculine, that is ok too. You won't know which you are without some experiment.

Your concerns are real, and they've got basically nothing to do with your hair.

Thank you so much for the advice and kind words. :) I have a lot of thinking to do, that's for sure.

[quote="Signe"why not try crazy colours with a veggie dye like manic panic or something? that way you can change it whenever and imo bright colours are quite gender neutral[/quote]

It's too bad that my hair is too dark for them to show up as brightly as I'd like. I do have some purple dye left from back when I had bleached streaks...I may just have to find it and play with it. :)

[DoubleCrowned]

I agree with the others--that long hair is not necessarily feminine and that short hair is a lot of work.

Along the lines of the androgynous look, perhaps you could experiment with a different hemline.

Have you considered that you are bored with your hair because you thought once the layers and damage were grown out, it would express who you are better? Perhaps the hair part of your look is correct, but your total look is not. If your exterior presentation still does not match your personality, (and remember you already have had hair short and all the lengths to the current one) maybe you could look at clothing styles and colors.

I came very close to cutting my hair into a pixie, only hesitating because I could remember how much work it was. What I discovered was that, although I dressed my body type correctly when younger, my personality outgrew that look. My hair did not look right, but my clothing (and its colors) didn't either, much to my surprise. Now that I have found clothing and wardrobe colors that expresses "me", my hair "fits".

[racrane]

I know about being bored, because that was me two years ago. I finally had waist length hair and I got it cut to chin. I was going through a bored phase but my theater need me to cut it so, being bored, I didn't mind....I hated it! It was a nice cut but I missed my hair so much. I'd give it some pause, the two week rule. Maybe a temporary dye or bangs, or something different? But don't cut it until you're absolutely sure!

[tigr]

I understand about wanting to look androgynous. It's not just hair though, it's also about what you wear and how you stand, sit and walk.

Specifically about hair, I think single braids and low ponies are pretty androgynous looks. And if you like hair sticks, longlocks sells sticks for men: http://www.longlocks.com/chapstix.htm. Another alternative would be to go super short (like a man's cut at a barber in a gay part of town), then the only maintenance would be regular haircuts.

I hope you decide to keep your hair long. Your hair is really pretty!

[beccababesx]

How about you follow the two week rule, but in those two weeks, try and have fun with it! Do a semi permanent black dye, play with buns and styles, buy a couple of fun hairtoys, even try a wig! Long hair is beautiful no matter what gender you are or want to be, and it's a lot easier to change your clothes, style, even personality than it is to grow back long healthy hair haha! But at the end of the day, if it's not making you happy, what's the point. Just try not to do something you'll regret :)
Good luck with whatever you do, and don't forget to post pictures!! Haha.