Is it just me, or does this annoy you too?

[Darkhorse1]

Lately, I get a lot of people telling me 'I should cut my hair'.

:steam

Am I the only one this bugs? First off, WHY should I? I asked somene this (a friend of a friend), and she said because I always wear it back (right, and her shoulder length hair was in a ponytail, so where's the logic in that?) Others say I should donate it to locks of love.

Um, why? If and when I decide to cut my hair (which isn't any time soon), I shouldn't be made to feel guilty that I don't want to hand my hair over to charity. I'm also a bit leery of locks of love, and did more research into it. I don't qualify because I have colored hair. So, can you imagine how many people cut their hair and it ends up in the garbage because it's no good to them?

Sorry, but these comments have really irked me lately--maybe I'm just grumpy, but why tell someone with long hair to cut it? Someone once said it's because people are jealous---have you had any experiences like this?

[girlcat36]

Yes, this irks me, and my hair isn't even long enough for people to tell me that!
My co-worker came in the other day and said at her bartending job a lady she didn't even know came up to her and said, "Oh, you're the one with the really long hair--when are you going to donate it to locks of love?"
Apparantly the customers were discussing her inappropriate long hair(she's 43, TBL), which she always wears up to work anyway.
I got so mad at that story, I was more upset than my co-worker.
Her reply was "When I'm ready I will, but I'm not ready yet."
Aaaarrghh.......people!

[Teresa9000]

This upsets me, too! First off, it would be more beneficial to donate a kidney than hair, and everyone, long hair or short, starts off with two kidneys (unless they were born without one for some reason). Also, blood. Not everyone, but most people can donate blood. Hair doesn't save lives.

I think some of it is jealousy, especially with older women. Some women into their 60's and beyond still have beautiful, thick hair, but many women don't have very thick hair after 50. I think it makes them jealous when they see a woman their age who still has beautifully thick long hair.

I haven't had anyone tell me I should cut my hair yet (it's not very long), but I'll be ready when they start to. Your hair is a part of your body, and not public property. You don't tell them they should grow their hair out for charity, why should they tell you to cut yours?

[Darkhorse1]

Yep, I've said those exact things. I mean, it's a personal thing--I have long hair because I like it. It works for me and why should I explain to people why I have long hair. That would be like me telling a friend who has short hair to grow it because it looks nicer or something. Each person is an individual.

I hope to be one of those old ladies with nice white gray hair in a thick braid when I'm old :)

[buttons]

I've personally never had someone tell me to cut my hair, but a lot of people on this board have. Some people are just ignorant and don't bother researching charities they recommend to others :rolleyes:
There isn't much you can do other than ignore people like that, or give them a piece of your mind.
There are tons of great comebacks in a thread somewhere around here :p

[RavennaNight]

who are the sources of these personal attacks and intrusions? Family? Friends? Coworkers? Boss? Either way it doesn't matter, because its an invasion of your personal privacy, but it owould be nice to know the source so we can figure out why that source is being so unbelievably intrusive.

[flapjack]

I've only received these comments from women my mother's age or women my age. Women my mother's age will tell me that it's not professional and since I'm starting a career of my own, I should cut it so it's more manageable. Women my age tell me that long hair must be boring and it would be more exciting for me to change it drastically.

It must be said, though, that these comments are still pretty rare. But it's always the same things from the same groups of people, I've noticed. As for the other gender... I either never hear a word about it or I hear a lot of positive comments. (Sometimes a little too positive... :/)

[Poolsoflaughter]

I've been told that my hair looks unprofessional, and that's why I should cut it. Yeah, whatever.:bs:

[purplebubba]

I've been told that my hair looks unprofessional, and that's why I should cut it. Yeah, whatever.:bs:

And it's not Unprofessional to go up to people and make such comments?

[Katahdin]

Arg, yes.

This just happened today.

"I'm trying to grow my hair to tail bone length, maybe classic if I still want to when I get it to tail bone."
"Cut it! Donate it to cancer!"
"No, I just told you I'm growing it."
"Cut after!"
"No, the point of growing it is to get it long, not cut it."

Some people just seem like they have brain damage.

And Darkhorse, I agree with you, Locks of Love isn't exactly what it says it is. Maybe I'm a bit cynical, but I suspect that some people just cut their hair for LoL because everyone who knows them will ask why they cut it, and they can be all noble and say "I cut it for cancer." I believe donating blood is 100x more charitable, because it saves lives. But nobody can tell if you donate blood, and then they can't show off how selfless and pure they are >_<

[Curlsgirl]

Opinions are like well you know..and everyone has one :rolleyes:

No one has really told me to cut it but I have gotten the idea sometimes that they think I might be too old for longer hair. I don't care. They ask why I am growing it out and I say because I like it. That is all. End of conversation.:D

I have also reversed the whole thing by asking why they don't grow theirs out that I think it would look really good long. That shuts them up pretty quick too. But it's not rude or anything.

[Riot Crrl]

Opinions are like well you know..and everyone has one :rolleyes:

And they all smell like...

[Indigo Girl]

Yes, that's definitely irritating. I just got that comment on Sunday, actually!

I went to visit my father, and his girlfriend made a few comments about "not being selfish", and how I should donate my hair to cancer patients. I don't think she's even got a full two inches of growth herself. I typically rebound with some kind of retort, but to keep the peace on Father's Day I held my tongue.

It was difficult though. I don't even remember the last time someone suggested I donate.

[purplebubba]

Opinions are like well you know..and everyone has one :rolleyes:

My hair covers my um....Opinion

[girlcat36]

You know, I have to say, as a former cancer patient, I wouldn't expect anyone to chop off their hair for 'the cause'.
I didn't lose all my hair, just half, but even if I HAD lost all my hair I wouldn't support that as a reason to tell someone to cut their hair!
Just wanted to put a cancer patient's spin on this!

[Indigo Girl]

You know, I have to say, as a former cancer patient, I wouldn't expect anyone to chop off their hair for 'the cause'.
I didn't lose all my hair, just half, but even if I HAD lost all my hair I wouldn't support that as a reason to tell someone to cut their hair!
Just wanted to put a cancer patient's spin on this!

Interestingly enough, my father's gf is a cancer survivor. I'm sure that had something to do with her statements, though it was still rather presumptuous of her.

ETA: I know you wouldn't do that, girlcat. :)

I think my father's gf is still coming to terms with her own cancer battle.

[psvzum]

How rude! I've found the best reply to really ignorant questions is, "Why do you ask?"

[marty girl]

Hello everyone,
Being new here and being 50 and not really knowing much about hair except that mine 'didn't work' , I was suprised to see that some one tell you or expect that you cut your hair. My guess is that her mouth got ahead of her thoughts. ...or she was projecting about her self, maybe having issues that no one could see, like not being able to hold her arms above her head long enough to style or maintain a great head of hair...maybe she was green with envy, aren't we all of something? My mom was usually the one to decide how long or short my hair was and maybe that statememt, (although some what inappropriate) may have been her up bringing...I also believe that LOL or other such charities can sell the hair that has been processed to other 'hair vendors' who can use it and us the money for their other needs... Anyway I dosen't really matter as 'long' as you are happy. Every generation seems to have it's oddities. My great grandmother would have been expected to have her hair long but to put it up when working or doing chairity events. It was seen as modisty....today modisty has a whole new meaning. I have battled the 'what to wear' to please others and how to 'fix' my hair for so long...Now I want comfort and a healthy look for my 18" two tone greaying hair. Maybe by the time I am 60 it will be the way I want it. Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences. I am learning more every day

Marty girl

If you are old enough to gasp along with me...Remember the show The Waltons...and Ma-Walton cut her hair (that iwas the gasping part) and how she would brush and braid it each night before going to bed...as all the family said good night...Talk about green with envy....Well good night Indigo girl, Catgirl,Purplebubu....and all the rest...

[Hypatia]

I've never had anyone make such a remark, but I am sure that I would be irked. ( if they were asking it to be rude, a genuine honest question doesn't bother me.) I wouldn't let them go without telling them exactly how I feel about the issue. And if they told me I 'should' donate my hair, which is a part of my body, I would probably tell them to donate their designer clothes first. After all, that is just a matter of materialism...they can always buy more. And their car as well. People are always willing to encourage other people to give away things, but not quite so hasty when they have to part with something they feel strongly about. :mad:

[yldchyld]

Yes, that's definitely irritating. I just got that comment on Sunday, actually!

I went to visit my father, and his girlfriend made a few comments about "not being selfish", and how I should donate my hair to cancer patients. I don't think she's even got a full two inches of growth herself. I typically rebound with some kind of retort, but to keep the peace on Father's Day I held my tongue.

It was difficult though. I don't even remember the last time someone suggested I donate.


oooh, that's the worst...when they say you are being selfish. I have a coworker who's mother donated her hair and she is always telling me to do it...and then you have the dilemma of "My mother wasn't selfish". of which I reply <<snarl!!>> (I'm not the nicest person in the world when aggravated)

[IdiotBird]

My mom always complains about that--having long hair and wearing it back. But if I wore it down all of the time, they'd be like, "Why don't you ever pull your hair back?"

People are just never satisfied with what they've got.

[Oskimosa]

Just because your hair is long doesn't even mean that you DON'T donate it. You only need 10 inches to donate to LOL (and even less to some of the others that aren't just for children) which means you could go a bit past your goal, cut it, and then just be a few inches shy of your goal again. People assume too much. I donated my hair and have to grow it back out if I want to do it again--which I do, but I've hennaed and although I know it's safe to use other chemicals on, I dont know that LOL will know that and actually utilize my hair. But IF i donate again, I want to get it good and past my goal so I'm not left with super short hair again. That's absolute rubbish that someone would morally police another over something so trivial as hair! Tell them to stop eating half their food and donate it to poorer families in the community! Honestly...:mad:

[freznow]

My mom always complains about that--having long hair and wearing it back. But if I wore it down all of the time, they'd be like, "Why don't you ever pull your hair back?"

People are just never satisfied with what they've got.

My family is pretty quiet, they don't say things like that, but they think it. Okay, so the reason I know they think it is the occasional joke about my sticks or my length, but it's never straight out "Why don't you do this, why do you do that? You should do this." It's always more of a passive comment to someone else, "Yeah, if we need chopsticks we can use Freznow's!"

Whenever my hair is down my mom just has to come and get all up in it. She'll point out the obvious "Your hair is long." No other comment, just that. So I'm not sure if she disapproves. The quiescence of my family makes me rather paranoid when they do comment on it... so I wear it up all the time.

Wearing it up avoids SO MANY of these comments!

My only 'You ought to cut' comment that I can remember is just when an aquaintance was imagining my makeover. "You should get layers, and a side part, cut it up to just above waist." but that's not condescending like most of the other comments y'all seem to be getting.

[IdiotBird]

It's one thing to suggest a minor change, like adding bangs or layering. It's another to be all, "OMG LONG HAIR SUCKS YOU SHOULD HAVE IT SHOULDER LENGTH OR SHORTER BECAUSE LONG HAIR ISN'T POPULAR!!!!!!!" Seriously, I don't complain about people having super short hair, do I?

[Darkhorse1]

Wow!! I feel a bit better knowing that I'm not the only one bothered--I haven't read pg 2 or 3 yet, but wanted to respond to the question.

Some long time family friends have asked, but it's funny because his wife jumped to my defense, and she's a short hair person. So, I thought that was sweet. The other people are people that I work around----acquantances and so forth---they aren't friend/friends, but I do know them a bit.

I TOTALLY agree about donated blood or an organ or bone marrow over hair. I read this anti locks of love blog, about what locks of love does with hair they can't use for wigs (they sell it for money that goes into their 'organization'. hmmmm.) Someone basically said if you want to help cancer, cut your hair and sell it and give the money to cancer research. Apparently hair that is really long sells for quite a lot out there. Never knew that.

I'm sorry others have had this frustrating situation transpire. I just don't like it that people assume I am growing out my hair to donate. Can't I just have long hair because I like it? Does it make me a horrible person that I don't want to donate it (Well, I can't, but still)...

[Darkhorse1]

girlcat--I read that in your tag line and wanted to say you are my hero--I can't imagine what you had to go through and I hope you are ok now.

Also, did you know locks of love does NOT go to patients with cancer? That was another thing they don't mention. In order to qualify for a wig, you have to have medical reasons that causes your hair to NOT grow back. Cancer patients in chemo will have their hair grow back, so the wigs go to kids/people with alopecia. Again, I wouldn't have a problem with that if I wished to donate, but again, it's mis-leading. LoL basically wants young hair as it's much more durable. I spoke to my hair dresser about this because I was curious.

[Carina]

I have been told by my female co-workers to cut my hair.But my male co-workers seem to have a different opinion.The only reason they give me is that I'm 40 soon and to old for really long hair.One guy,19 years old,said that I look great with long hair and that should just ignore them.Love him:crush:.I could be his mother but we are very good friends.I will never cut my hair and donate it.Who came up with that stupid 40 years limit for long hair?Shame on that person:mad:.I don't like the idea of having someone elses hair on my scalp,eeeek:shudder:.

[yogachic]

It's a peeve of mine also. My mother is one of them that tells me & my 2 girls this when our hair gets longer than what she likes. Its like, why do you care, we have to wear it, not you.

[Darkhorse1]

I think we all have a right to have our hair long, and should we decide some day to donate it or whatever, we shouldn't be called selfish or be seen as such because we choose not to.

I'm very thankful I have long hair and thank god everynight. I don't want to be vain, but I also love my hair. Is that wrong? In a society in which people are telling you to 'love yourself', and then you are made to feel guilty about it.

[MermaidGirl]

My typical response to anyone that tries to tell me what I "should" do is to tell them to stop "should-ing" on me! Either that, or if I'm in a particularly snarky mood, I'll tell them "Well, you should just mind your own damn business!"

[RavenDream]

Oh this is my sister and it bugs the heck out of me. Part of me knows it jealousy because she has inherited the thinning hair on my mom's side and because of this can't wear her hair past shoulder.

She constantly goes on and on about how i need to cut my hair. It kinda messes with my self esteem. I ask her if it looks bad and she tells me it looks gorgeous. So then again why should I cut it any time soon? Not everyone with long hair is growing it to cut. ugh. I've been wanting to get this out forever.

[aprilmay]

I get, "are you ever going to cut/change your hair? Don't you get tired of it being the same?" People who know me should know that I get rather set in things. I live in the town I was born in, DH and I have been together since I was 15 (not married until I was 22), and I don't ever plan on moving out of the house we live in. I am not stubborn (well sort of) and I like to try new things, just don't mess with my hair, my home, or my family.

[CaityBear]

There's this girl at my school with BSL hair and, as a joke, there's a few people in my class you always tell her to cut her hair. lol She's more a tomboy than anything and just grows her hair out because she's too lazy to cut it...and she never ever does anything with it. We've had to fight with her to put her hair in a ponytail for volleyball at school and she plays baseball and hockey and never does anything with her hair. For months now she's been saying she's going to cut her hair and donate it. And since she still hasn't she always gets people telling her to cut her hair...and now as a new joke she's always told to brush her hair. The one girl in my class today played with her hair (messed it up rather...it looked like a rat's nest lol) for about 5 minutes...


Anyways! That was a really long story...o_O

I've never personally been told I should cut my hair though. Nobody really notices I have long hair. lol And the people that do notice just compliment me or something.

[crystal_89]

I get the 'go cut your hair' thing from one of my friends in particular. Everytime my hair is down around her and its not straightened, sometimes even when it is straightened "your hair is too thick", 'your hair is black and thick and you look like a witch', "can you tie your hair up? you look hot", "bob's are a really in fashion now, I was thinking of getting a bob myself", ra ra ra bla bla bla yada yada yada... Usually I just ignore her and/or wear my hair up around her. Plus, I know she wants long hair too, just not thick hair. I still let her cut my hair though... hrmmm I'm a bit contradictory aren't I hehehe...

[purplebubba]

There's this girl at my school with BSL hair and, as a joke, there's a few people in my class you always tell her to cut her hair. lol She's more a tomboy than anything and just grows her hair out because she's too lazy to cut it...and she never ever does anything with it. We've had to fight with her to put her hair in a ponytail for volleyball at school and she plays baseball and hockey and never does anything with her hair. For months now she's been saying she's going to cut her hair and donate it. And since she still hasn't she always gets people telling her to cut her hair...and now as a new joke she's always told to brush her hair. The one girl in my class today played with her hair (messed it up rather...it looked like a rat's nest lol) for about 5 minutes...


Anyways! That was a really long story...o_O

I've never personally been told I should cut my hair though. Nobody really notices I have long hair. lol And the people that do notice just compliment me or something.

Would it be possible to leave this girl alone? If she wants to wear her hair down it's her choice. If she wants to let it get messed up it's her choice too. It is up to the school staff to do something about it if she's breaking a rule. And then it can be fought out between the school and her parents. But it's not something for the other students to do something about.

Maybe I'm assuming too much and maybe it's not as bad as it sounds. But the way I read it it sounded like ganging up on her. If I'm wrong I'm sorry.

[IdiotBird]

My sister waxes on long and hard about long hair that isn't styled is "ugly." Why the Hell would I want to chop my hair up? It looks nice when it's in a sheet hanging down my back or up in a fancy braid; I know FROM EXPERIENCE that it'll look like crap if I chop it in to layers, SO LEAVE ME ALONE AND CONTINUE ABUSING YOUR OWN HAIR!

Okay, seriously, I'm done now.

[goldenwaves]

I don't think I've had this happen to me, but that would be so annoying! However, I'm going to grow my hair and then when I get sick of it, and after much deliberation, get it cut short and donate it to Locks Of Love. I think Locks Of Love is a great charity and I fully support it, but we can donate when (and if, in some peoples' cases) we're ready.

[Toadstool]

There's this girl at my school with BSL hair and, as a joke, there's a few people in my class you always tell her to cut her hair. lol She's more a tomboy than anything and just grows her hair out because she's too lazy to cut it...and she never ever does anything with it. We've had to fight with her to put her hair in a ponytail for volleyball at school and she plays baseball and hockey and never does anything with her hair. For months now she's been saying she's going to cut her hair and donate it. And since she still hasn't she always gets people telling her to cut her hair...and now as a new joke she's always told to brush her hair. The one girl in my class today played with her hair (messed it up rather...it looked like a rat's nest lol) for about 5 minutes...

Is the girl you mention okay with all this? I mean is it bullying or does she join in and find it funny? Just concerned:)

[manderly]

Wooo, multiquote! I'm picking out a couple bits of these replies because I see some of you are very new and don't have the info on the LoL conspiracy that many of us are made aware of by LHC. So please don't take this as picking on anyone, just spreading the knowledge.


I donated my hair and have to grow it back out if I want to do it again--which I do, but I've hennaed and although I know it's safe to use other chemicals on, I dont know that LOL will know that and actually utilize my hair.

That was generous of you to donate your hair, and you are correct, you don't need to cut your hair short to do so. LoL probably didn't utilize your hair the first time you donated, and if they did, they didn't do so in the way you imagined they would.

LoL sells wigs to people who suffer from Alopecia. They do not donate wigs to cancer patients. They also throw away far more of the donations they receive than they ever use. I'm sure someone else can chime in with some of the old threads about this, or cite the actual numbers.

I think in their 10/11 years in existence, they've only made like 300 wigs or something.



Also, did you know locks of love does NOT go to patients with cancer? That was another thing they don't mention. In order to qualify for a wig, you have to have medical reasons that causes your hair to NOT grow back. Cancer patients in chemo will have their hair grow back, so the wigs go to kids/people with alopecia.

You are correct, good investigating. LoL is definitely NOT what they portray themselves to be, and that is a comeback many LHCers use when harassed by LoLers.



We've had to fight with her to put her hair in a ponytail for volleyball at school and she plays baseball and hockey and never does anything with her hair. For months now she's been saying she's going to cut her hair and donate it. And since she still hasn't she always gets people telling her to cut her hair...and now as a new joke she's always told to brush her hair. The one girl in my class today played with her hair (messed it up rather...it looked like a rat's nest lol) for about 5 minutes...


Emphasis mine. This kind of bothers me CaityBear. Why are you so concerned about how she wears her hair to play sports? I hope that you are not tormenting this girl along with your other classmates. She has the right to have her hair exactly as she pleases, just as you do. Can you put yourself in her shoes and see how these things would make you feel?

And of course, if I misread your post and you have no part in this bullying, I apologize. Perhaps you could be her "hero" though? Sometimes other kids just need someone to stand up to them and tell them to knock it off for them to stop what they are doing.


However, I'm going to grow my hair and then when I get sick of it, and after much deliberation, get it cut short and donate it to Locks Of Love. I think Locks Of Love is a great charity and I fully support it, but we can donate when (and if, in some peoples' cases) we're ready.

Please read this entire post. LoL is not a great charity. There are others that have better track records for hair donation. I believe Pantene's donation charity has made and donated as many wigs in less than a year as LoL has done in its entire existence.




Ok, whew, hope I didn't step on any toes there. :cheese:

[Tap Dancer]

No one has ever said that to me but I would be really annoyed. I hold my pencil differently than most people. I have nice handwriting so who cares how I hold a pencil, right? But people sometimes notice and make comments. It's made me become sensitive about it and comments piss me off now. People really should mind their own business. The next time someone tells you to cut your hair, you should make comments about what they can improve about themselves. Maybe that would shut them up.

[Siava]

Ugh. My mother is the only one that bothers me about my hair. When it was past BSL she used to complain that I didn't put it up enough, that it hid my face. When I cut it short and went to my natural color she complained about that, said it looked better blonde. Now that it's past my shoulders she's harping again that it's too dark and too long. Even when I point out that her opinion is being wasted because I'm going to wear it the way I want to, she continues. *throttle*

[HaiirPEACE]

i didnt read the rest of the thread so if someone said this then sorryyyyy

but people only tell you to cut your hair because they are jealous that they don't have hair as gorgeous as yours

[spidermom]

I guess you folks will have to move to the Pacific NW. Nobody, but nobody, goes around telling people they should cut their hair. Last night DD and I were sitting in an emergency animal hospital because our Doberman was sick, and almost every single woman we saw had long hair -- the staff and pet owners alike. One dog owner had waist-length white hair.

[paper]

I also hate when people do this. :mad: All my life my Mom always asked me when I was going to cut my hair. Finally I did cut it, now that I'm letting it grow again, I am waiting for her to say something. :(

[Maravel]

My DH gave me a similar comment the other night. We were watching TV, and I caught him just kind of staring at me, pensively. I asked him what was going on, and he said, "You just look so different from when I married you with that long hair!"

Ugh. I know he didn't mean it negatively, per se, but it really got to me. I am growing my hair because I think it is beautiful, and I want him to think that about me, too!

[aprilmay]

I guess you folks will have to move to the Pacific NW. Nobody, but nobody, goes around telling people they should cut their hair. Last night DD and I were sitting in an emergency animal hospital because our Doberman was sick, and almost every single woman we saw had long hair -- the staff and pet owners alike. One dog owner had waist-length white hair.

I have lived in the Pacific NW my entire life. I get compliments on my hair, but I also get annoying comments about donating it (from strangers) and about adding layers, cutting it shorter from my sister. Her stance is, you have the longest hair of anyone I know. Great!

My Dad is now growing his hair out for the first time ever. It is the longest he has had it already so I am encouraging him to have his hair how he wants it. My son thinks his hair looks cool.

If I ever decide that I don't feel right in long hair then I can change it. Long hair is only a permanent part of my appearance if I choose it.

:cheese:

[Missie]

eeeek I agree !
Especially when you're at a salon to get your re-growth touched up and more than one of the hair dressers gangs up on you to get a trim...
Its tough going against these ladies some times :) I'm a woos

[smilelads]

It gets pretty ridiculous...I never could understand why others would be so pushy about it- it's not like it is THEIR hair, anyway! I used to let it get to me and even chopped a bit at my hair because of the pressure of others but I decided not to let it affect me. This is who I am. That's that.