A different "How old is too old?" question

[CrisDee]

There’ve been a number of threads asking how old is too old for long hair. All the ones I’ve seen, though, are about long, flowing, natural hair - with all its silvers and whites, gorgeous Renegray ladies (and gentlemen!) just letting nature take its course, both with length and with color. No such thing as too old for that!

But what I’ve been pondering is - how old is too old for the kind of hair I have? I had chemically dyed my hair red for 20 years before discovering henna; I now use a henna/cassia mix that gives me GORGEOUS color (if I do say so myself), and the healthiest hair I’ve ever had in my life. I just LOVE the way my hair looks with henna and LHC care methods, I so wish I’d discovered them years ago, when my face "matched" my hair. But now I have the gorgeous, lush hair of a 25 year old, with a 52 year old face. Granted, I do get mistaken for being several years younger than I am, but at what point does gorgeous 25-year-old hair start looking silly, awkward, out of place, surrounding a 50+ year old face? I’m thinking not so much about upholding cultural norms or expectations, but more like checks and plaids - it just doesn’t match! Any thoughts? Maybe some photo examples?

[heidihug]

I color my hair, it's mostly gray around my face if I let it grow out. I wear it up 99.9% of the time, though, so it's not really an answer to your question, is it? I honestly don't think that coloring your hair and styling it in a way that flatters you is going to cause an incongruous look. If it looks good on you, why not wear it that way?

[Annibelle]

My grandmother, who is nearly 70, never went grey-- she's still got brown hair. Although that really isn't the same as red hair, most people would probably think it's unnatural, but it really does look just right on her. Not only does it make her look younger, but it really does suit her face. It's also short, though. I'm not sure if long red would do the same. :/

[DoubleCrowned]

Although I agree that silver hair is gorgeous, I am totally for coloring grays if the wearer is not happy with gray. However, I saw a lady last week who looked about 90, but her hair was shocking red henna. It was so jolting that I wondered if it was an experiment gone bad. So, I have given this some thought...

As for matching the hair to the face, I don't think it has to do with age, but with flattering your skin tones. This is hard just looking in the mirror, I think, but I have noticed that photos are fairly truthful. I'd suggest a snapshot of head and naked shoulders against a neutral background that is kind to your coloring. (The summer-fall-winter-spring Color Me Beautiful idea) The wrong hair color will make your eyes fade away in the photo, and the wrinkles in your skin will be accented. You could experiment with different colors of towel turbans to see what I mean.

I think the hair color you have found is beautiful, by the way. As your complexion changes, you can gradually adjust the proportions of cassia and henna so it will always look natural and flatter you.

[jojo]

your too old when you decide you are!

[elbow chic]

My MIL is sixty-five and still colors her hair auburn. Looks good to me, maybe because that's how I've always seen her. She wear hers in that that super-short "older-lady 'do," but I don't think it would look any more incongruous if it were long and colored.

[Madora]

Hmmm..a delicate question!

I'd say if the hair color looked "brassy" or not quite "age appropriate" (think very bright red on a 55 year old person), I'd try a color that was a little more subdued. From what I learned from my mother (who had auburn hair), true red hair is a fleeting thing. It has to be pampered and protected so it doesn't fade. Over time it usually does..unless one uses some sort of coverup/tint, etc

If you tint/dye your hair, then the shade should be age appropriate. Sure, you can have red hair..but it should compliment your complexion and not look too "artificial" (for lack of a better word).

I've seen some lovely looking older women (and movie stars) who's "look" was destroyed by monstrously colored hair..or worse yet, by styled hair that looked like an egg beater had been utilized! What IS it with women who try so hard to look 30 years younger but their face belies the truth! The "less is more" approach sure applies to hair coloring when you reach a "certain age".

[amandapage]

for me it does not depends on the age of a girl, it depends on how virgin is her hair from different strong chemicals used for curling and or rebonding.


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[Phexlyn]

I had a look through your albums and from what I could see of your face there, I think you are still fine with the colour, but you might want to look into something a little more subdued in the future. It's still okay, but in my opinion you shouldn't get a more vibrant colour than you have now. Basically you need to make sure that your hair complements your complexion and does not overpower your face.

Apart from that, I think you look very elegant with your updos, and very classy! :)

[Eolan]

your too old when you decide you are!

I agree with jojo! You can wear your hair exactly as YOU like it for as long as YOU want to. :) Who else should decide, really?

[pepperminttea]

I don't think it looks incongruous if it works with your colouring. :shrug: Though I'm no fan of hers, I think Andie MacDowell's dyed hair still looks great on her. Crystal Gayle's still sporting her signature floor-length hair, and I'd be very surprised if she hasn't hidden some natural greys by now (or I just haven't noticed the ones she has?).

[lapushka]

But now I have the gorgeous, lush hair of a 25 year old, with a 52 year old face. Granted, I do get mistaken for being several years younger than I am, but at what point does gorgeous 25-year-old hair start looking silly, awkward, out of place, surrounding a 50+ year old face? I’m thinking not so much about upholding cultural norms or expectations, but more like checks and plaids - it just doesn’t match! Any thoughts? Maybe some photo examples?

So is it better to have 52 year-old hair *and* a 52 year-old face? Depends on you entirely. If you feel you look better with your virgin color, then you should go with that, but otherwise, I'd enjoy that beautiful red. Who says gorgeous red hair is 25 year-old hair, anyway? ;)

[SpinDance]

This is such a personal decision. For business reasons I started dying my hair as professional camouflage. I was graying especially around the front and I was finding many people were spending more time looking at my hair than my face in meetings. It may have been the braids, but still.

For 3.5 years I had it dyed the color it had been when I was younger, the color of my non-gray hairs. In addition to the frequent retouch requirements, I found that the color was too harsh for my older skin and also that it would fade to a reddish/goldish shade, which wasn't natural on me. I was considering exit strategy options when I ended up having a reaction to the chemicals. I took that as my warning sign and have gone back to natural gray.

That was 2 years ago July, and it will probably take me another 3 years, maybe longer, to finish growing the dye out.

[growingpains]

I like the color on you, especially the photo in front of the Christmas tree. :)

[Firefly]

I agree with others in that the answer really depends on so many things. But, having looked at your album, I definitely think the color looks fantastic!

[Ostelot]

Never too old to have red or any bright hair colors. :) But maybe the person can get bored with the same color during the decades and change it for variation.

In my living environment it isn't even common to have virgin/gray colored hair at 50+ age. I know a person that is 80-year-old and still colors her hair bright fire red.

[Ostelot]

Never too old to have red or any bright hair colors. :) But maybe the person can get bored with the same color during the decades and change it for variation.

In my living environment it isn't even common to have virgin/gray colored hair at 50+ age. I know a person that is 80-year-old and still colors her hair bright fire red. And it looks stunning. :)

Edit. How can I delete this duplicate post? It was not on purpose, something just went wrong.

[jojo]

Hmmm..a delicate question!

I'd say if the hair color looked "brassy" or not quite "age appropriate" (think very bright red on a 55 year old person), I'd try a color that was a little more subdued. From what I learned from my mother (who had auburn hair), true red hair is a fleeting thing. It has to be pampered and protected so it doesn't fade. Over time it usually does..unless one uses some sort of coverup/tint, etc

If you tint/dye your hair, then the shade should be age appropriate. Sure, you can have red hair..but it should compliment your complexion and not look too "artificial" (for lack of a better word).

I've seen some lovely looking older women (and movie stars) who's "look" was destroyed by monstrously colored hair..or worse yet, by styled hair that looked like an egg beater had been utilized! What IS it with women who try so hard to look 30 years younger but their face belies the truth! The "less is more" approach sure applies to hair coloring when you reach a "certain age".

yes this is true, just got an image of a dyed black haired lady with paler skin, a little harsh. Like mother nature is such a wonderful person she lightens our face to match our hair. Saying that some dyed hair looks great,on ladies of a certain age and red is the most forgiving; its how you see yourself. I think women can get away with dying more than men to be honest, I hate to see a man with dyed hair; does that make me sexist? sorry men!

[Delila]

I'd say that if your hair is healthy, and the color looks relatively natural (i.e. not garish), that anything goes.

52? Not old. No way.

In my own personal opinion, I wish that truly elderly people would just quit dyeing their hair really intense colors, especially black. I think it's mostly because a lot of people's hair tends to thin out a bit as they get into their seventies and eighties, and I think the darker/intense colors just highlight the fact that their scalp is showing. A softer color would blend better with the color of the scalp, and make it less obvious. Also, upkeep on the color is easier.

[terpentyna]

As long as the color compliments you, you're fine. It's not a question of age, although once your eyebrows go white (with age) you may have to reconsider your hair color if you know what I mean.

[moonlight]

I also struggle with this! I'm 50 and henna and since I'm a good 80&#37; gray, it's a BRIGHT henna. I wonder when I'll be too old to carry it off.

But I still get compliments all the time...people (strangers) notice the color and go out of their way to tell me how pretty it is and also that it goes really well with my coloring.

I figure as long as that is still happening, I'll go with it and continue the bright red I love.

However, I do touch up the roots every two weeks and have slowly, slowly, reduced the proportion of henna to cassia with the intent of going a little more strawberry. I've been doing this for about two years now and so far the color gradiation is unnoticable. Right now I'm at a 50-50 mix, but am going to go to a 1 part henna, 2 part cassia mix starting next week. Next year I'll go to a 1:3 ratio....and so on :)

This is how I plan to go lighter as I get older.

ETA: I also henna my eyebrows and I think that really makes a difference...it keeps them looking and feeling full :)

[SilvraShadows]

...snippety, snipped... but at what point does gorgeous 25-year-old hair start looking silly, awkward, out of place, surrounding a 50+ year old face? I’m thinking not so much about upholding cultural norms or expectations, but more like checks and plaids - it just doesn’t match! Any thoughts? Maybe some photo examples?

If you have youthful beautiful hair... I would say NEVER!! It never looks out of place. Embrace it, enjoy it!!! I have seen older women, wrinkles and all, with beautiful lush youthful hair and all I can think about is how healthy they must be to have such youthful hair. It adds so much to their own beauty, whether or not age has robbed them. So don't worry about checks and plaids! You lucky girl!

[Viscountess]

Hi there.

I'm struggling with this very question at 46. I'm a hennahead too and work in a professional environment - I wear a lot of updos as well.

I don't have much to add except that your hair and your face look fabulous together - and I will be following this thread closely, as I am starting to ask these very questions!

[jojo]

I'd say that if your hair is healthy, and the color looks relatively natural (i.e. not garish), that anything goes.

52? Not old. No way.

In my own personal opinion, I wish that truly elderly people would just quit dyeing their hair really intense colors, especially black. I think it's mostly because a lot of people's hair tends to thin out a bit as they get into their seventies and eighties, and I think the darker/intense colors just highlight the fact that their scalp is showing. A softer color would blend better with the color of the scalp, and make it less obvious. Also, upkeep on the color is easier.

oh heck I hope the op doesnt think i was implying 52 was old; heck no I was talking more 80year olds:o

[Amraann]

My grams owned a salon so I saw plenty of older women who dyed their hair well beyond the age of 52.
I never thought it looked odd.

Another family friend of ours also owned a salon and she is in her 60's now and uses the same shade of red that I have in my hair.
It looks fabulous on her.

[ange1ito]

I thought it still suits your skin tone and does'nt make you look your age so why spoil a good thing??? Personally I would keep it. Your hair still looks thick and healthy too.

[Unofficial_Rose]

Hmmm..a delicate question!

I've seen some lovely looking older women (and movie stars) who's "look" was destroyed by monstrously colored hair..or worse yet, by styled hair that looked like an egg beater had been utilized! What IS it with women who try so hard to look 30 years younger but their face belies the truth! The "less is more" approach sure applies to hair coloring when you reach a "certain age".

I think this is called "denial" ;).

For the OP, I'm sure people will soon tell you if they think your hair colour looks wrong. They're great like that, other people. :rolleyes: Surely 52 is too young to worry about things like this?

Eh, I'm 46 and I've just ordered some red coloured hair mousse. I've lightened my henndigo but I'm trying to avoid getting bored with my hair. Of course we, er I mean you, are not too old for red hair. ;)

[ooo]

I don't think there is a too old for red hair.

[kitschy]

My MIL is 79 and she is a natural red-head. It was so much a part of her identity that she has kept her hair dyed even though it went white many years ago. I LOVE her as a red-head! She is a spit-fire and it is such a great quality in an elderly person. Never too old to do whatever you want!

[stinamoo]

I have a great aunt who is only now greying at the temples, in her late eighties. Some people don't go grey until very late on, so you can get away with being 'natural' til at least then ;)

[Elenna]

It really is up to you. What you feel comfortable with in terms of the way you look and the up-keep. Especially if people compliment your hair then you are doing something right. But it depends on the person whether to go grey or to cover the greys up. My own opinion is that an older person needs softer hair coloring whether lighter less vivid colors or natural greying.

[alyanna]

Never. You're never too old to have gorgeous anything.

So just because you're 50-something, you have to have an old mom hairdo? Just because you're 50-something, you can't have a hot, buff body? I don't think so!

Be thankful you've got young hair, rather than a thinning alopecia ridden mess. And milk it for all it's worth hottie!

[Carolyn]

You are the only one gets to decide what is age appropriate on you. If you love your dyed color then keep it that way and enjoy it. Don't change what you like because you think you aren't following some idiotic "rule" about women should or should not do when they get older. Have the confidence to do as you please. You don't have to make anyone happy but you. I dye and I'm happy with it. No one has ever said a negative word about my hair. If they did they would be in for a few "bite me's" and a few "well screw you's".

[spidermom]

I have my preferences.

[CrisDee]

Ladies, thank you all SOO much for the insightful, thought provoking responses! :flowers:

Moonlight, just two days ago I did the exact thing you described - switched to a ratio of 3 parts cassia to 1 part henna! The grays around my face are now much more strawberry - I'm hoping maybe I can eventually lighten the length using Nightshade's Sun-In Lightening method, so my buns won't be a markedly different color from the hair closer to the scalp.

My eyebrows have a good bit of white in them - I tried henna, but its dye didn't take at all on the white hairs. So now I just dye them with regular dye. My skin isn't sensitive to PPD, so I have no problem doing that - plus now that gives me a way to use up the chemical dye I'd had left over when I switched to henna/cassia.

I also strongly agree with all those who said that softer, more muted colors look better on elderly people - bold blacks and reds often look downright garish.


So is it better to have 52 year-old hair *and* a 52 year-old face?

:rollin: Hahaha, that about sums it up - I'll just change what I can and forget the rest! :cheese:

[staryfox6]

Never ever ever too old, IMO! Love yourself, and the world will follow (or you will learn to not care!)

[Anje]

I have my preferences.
Says the 57-year-old with pink hair!

Never change, Spidermom!