Rebellious hair growth

[braidedbeauty]

Hi all! I'm rather new here and noticed that I had yet to come across and thread for people who are growing their hair against other peoples wishes. Rather strange topic I know but I thought that maybe it would be good to have one so that people who are in a situation like this didn't feel so alone :) I, for instance, have decided to grow my hair probably past tailbone length but my mother keeps telling me its too long as it is and my brother sometimes makes fun of me when I wear my hair down and says I look like chewbacca. Rude right? Well anyway I just thought that anyone with this kinda stuff happening (peer pressure to cut your hair and all) could you some support from others! :)

[Amraann]

Oh yes plenty here have had family members or SO's who did not support their hair growth goals.

Your mom could just be of the mindset that long hair is not good. Some people really believe that hair needs to be trimmed often.
As for your brother... Well he is a brother... siblings tease sometimes if not for your hair he would find another topic.

I suggest you stop talking to them about your hair goals. Your doing it for you not them.
Find more supportive people to discuss your hair goals with.

I do not know how old you are but hopefully you will not have to live with negative people for to much longer.
Like why do they even care what you do with YOUR hair.

[celebriangel]

How long/healthy is your hair now? Because I'm sure that the healthier and more awesome it looks with your new LHC habits, people will no longer be able to say things like "oh, you should cut it because you have damage" or whatever.

I know my mum hates me growing my hair. She also hates my natural colour. I would love to grow it out and love it despite this, but I think it was said too often as a kid and now I hate it too :( But I am going to henna. She hates the current box red, and I think she'll hate henna red too.

But back on topic, whenever it gets beyond BSL, she says I need it cut, and tries to drag me to a hairdresser. Fortunately I don't live at my parents' house anymore.

What you need to do is cultivate the "broken record" effect and a firm tone to your voice. Something like "No. I like my hair the way it is." and just keep repeating that until people realise they're getting nowhere.

[jojo]

I am growing my hair because I want long hair and really other people have no say whatsoever in how I wear my hair.

[vanity_acefake]

I echo jojo.
It's my hair, my choice and my business!

[Avital88]

Ahh thats not a nice situation you are in. My family loves my hair ,only friends say:If you grow it longer you will look like a horse and weird things like that.One girl even says:i trim my hair tomorrow,its getting too long,too long hair looks ugly and not neat.Well i totally agree with her! It doesnt look good on her!her hair is damaged but mine isnt as bad..so i think shes just jealous and wants me to cut too, dont listen to others! Your hair is gonna look awesome beyond tbl!

[dulce]

My mom hated my long hair,when i was younger she used to threaten to cut it off when I was sleeping.I never knew how serious she meant that.She was of the curl your hair every night in curlers,colour often, get a perm often,cut often,keep it super short ideology.As you can see I feel differently.Her hair was so much more work and expense and always looked the same.

[Sophie.Bold]

Oh yes! Back in high school I had it down to my waist, you how kids are, we had a virgin mary statue with very long hair and That was my nickname "the virgin", a girl even put gum in it! Jealous!

Any way, its not their head!

[terpentyna]

Well, my sister in law believes that long hair (past waist) is reminiscent of corpses.

I actually prefer her honesty to my DBF's mom, who makes little notes about how "it's truly amazing what a new hairstyle can do to a person", and seemingly randomly throwing in that "people with oblong faces should cut their hair in such a way which would give it volume and make the face appear more round instead of just having it hang there". So sweet.

Other than that, people in my family just kind of wonder about it like I'm making a new painting and that painting is not finished yet and they are like "well... hmm... I don't know..."

[angelshair]

How could anyone hate long, healthy hair? I mean, who doesn't want long, fairytale tresses? I really don't get it. :D But maybe I'm a bit biased. They're prolly just jealous though. All I ever hear is that my hair is too short.. :D

[Mesmerise]

I have to admit... I just don't get it! I don't get WHY people would want anyone to cut their hair unless it looked truly awful (I mean, I have seen many people who I thought could really benefit from a good trim...not so much a cut, but just to get rid of split ends and ratty looking hair...but I was never rude enough to SAY it!).

I don't think anyone's ever told me to cut my hair (hmm maybe back in high school though?! but not since then). My parents never seemed to fuss too much what I did with it, even though my mum's been a short hair the vast majority of her life (I think she grew it to her shoulders once...in the early 70s lol).

Really, it's no one's business except your own how you have your hair! And I think it's SO RUDE to even make snide hints about your hair. Sheesh. I especially don't get parents who don't like their kids' natural hair color. What's with that??

My husband used to threaten to cut my daughter's hair off... but that's not because he didn't think it was pretty, it was that she couldn't brush it on her own, and I used to have to spend 45 minutes detangling it, while she cried and screamed all the while. After awhile I started to agree with him that maybe life would be easier all round if it was shorter lol. However, if she'd wanted to keep it long, there's no way I'd ever have made her cut it. In the end she wanted it shorter herself, and I kept putting her off for a long time before I capitulated and let her get it bobbed! I do sometimes sigh a little though when I see her friend whose hair is now TBL (and whose hair used to be much shorter than my daughter's!).

Anyway, I would certainly never tell a teenaged child or older how they should or shouldn't have their hair (I mean... errm... if they cut it all off, dyed it multicolored and stuff I'd probably say I like it natural :o but I wouldn't stop them, cause I had to go through all that when I was younger).

So, my advice is stick to your guns. Wear lots of protective updos so you don't need to wear it loose all the time (thus attracting comments) and if they tell them you need to cut it agian, suggest they might look nicer with longer hair (or something else!).

[rena]

Hmm, my situation is the opposite. Though I could cut my hair if I wanted, it would not go over very big with a certain few, and I just don't want to make waves. Besides, I decided that I'm not trimming anymore for a while.

All in all, I really don't get how someone who is not someone else can really care about something like another person's hair to that extreme. Concerns like that appear to me as borderline obbsessive and tyrannical. Why don't they just go for the gusto and tell the person what they can and can't wear, meticulously outline what they can and can't talk about, threaten them if they go somewhere they don't agree with, etc, etc. I bet they wouldn't respond too well if they were on the recieving end of this type of treatment. I reccomend you tell the next person who gives you flack about what you choose to do with YOUR body (especially something as harmless as growing YOUR hair) that they should go join a circus because they're too funny for words.

[dulce]

I suspect it is a control issue,it was with my late mom.If you didn't do things her way,she would fuss.Also she just never liked the more natural look of long hair,even if it was up.She liked short salon styled hair.Once I hit 20 she'd give me the only young girls under 12 should have long hair spiel.I learned to do my own thing even if she didn't like it,afterall it was my life.Now that I am at 59,I wonder what she would have thought of my long hair at my age , but at least I could have showed her this forum and that others feel like I do.