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musicallberrii
May 5th, 2011, 09:56 PM
I've been thinking about starting this thread for a while, and forgive me if someone has already done something similar. I've been growing (or atleast trying to) my hair out from a pixie cut in 2006. I'm nearly at waist now, but it hasn't come without various setbacks and discouragements. Now that I've committed to growing my hair out, there are so many things I wish I had heard and known at the beginning of my journey--not hair care tips per se, but I tips more life and emotional oriented (I'm not sure how to word it). I thought it would be neat to start a thread where everyone could share tips and ideas from their personal growing experiences for others to read, and vice versa. Since these tips are of a more personal nature versus general hair care guidelines, ideas, etc, they obviously won't apply to every one. I think all of us needs or atleast would appreciate some encouragement and a pep talk every once in a while, and tips to help us along the way :) So without futher ado, let the sharing commence!

- Set definite goals for yourself and have inspiration: Way too many times have I thought "I'm going to grow my hair long" and then cut it because I had no personal definition of what long was, or any inspiration. In my opinion, it is so much more productive to set a goal of say, BSL and then have a picture of your goal for reference along the way. Then any time you get the urge to give up or cut, you can look at your inspiration and keep going

-Throw negative feedback in the trash where it belongs: Because thats what it is, TRASH! I've cut my hair before because friends or relatives said it looked ratty, thin, frizzy, etc. The truth is unless you have a conjoined twin that shares a head with you, your hair (or any aspect of your body and personal being) is no one else's business. Most of the time it is said out of jealousy anyway, in which case you should take it as a compliment to keep doing what you're doing :D

-Don't be afraid to experiment with routines and products: This one's pretty obvious, but everyone's hair is different and you have to find what works for you. Don't be afraid to switch it up because something better could be right around the corner

-Take care of yourself before your hair: Two points on this one. 1- Take care of your body, physically and emotionally. Remember proper nutrition because honestly, trash in=trash out. You can't eat nothing but chocolate and doritos and expect to be alive in 2 years, much less grow your hair to your ankles. 2- Sometimes things in life are going to be more important than your hair, and thats okay. Don't beat yourself up because you haven't been taking care of your hair due to a family emergency or work issue.

-Don't obsess too much about length and growing: Enjoy the journey! Try new hair styles, enjoy the pros and cons of each length. Figuring out how to make a bun with your shoulder length hair not only makes growing through that stage more enjoyable, but it becomes a milestone when you realize that bun no longer works because your hair is too long!

So those are my tips for growing :) Please share your own!!

akuamoonmaui
May 5th, 2011, 10:08 PM
Good thread! I've felt similarly, only in the aspect that treatment and care of hair is often reflective of our emotional state. For example, if I'm frustrated with something I'm usually tempted to to cut my hair. I guess I think that making a change outwardly will change how I'm feeling. :shake: Nope. Then I'm just more frustrated 'cause I've cut my hair. :justy: Luckily, I don't feel that way (as much - I still have moments).

owlathena
May 5th, 2011, 11:33 PM
What a sweet thread!

I was just thinking about how much I love this community. Women, men, young, old, long haired and short-all of you. Most (if not all) of us came here to find something for ourselves, but we stayed to help and encourage others and to learn from one another. I don't have any life tips right now, just a big virtual :grouphug: to everyone on here.

StephieNavyGirl
May 6th, 2011, 12:07 AM
Love this thread! Thank you musicallberrii for the tips and encouragement.

principesse
May 6th, 2011, 01:02 AM
Great post!

I could especially relate to the first two points because this has personally been my experience. I think I am finally getting closer to my goal because I have specific milestones to look forward to a (preliminary) goal length and a plan. I have also accepted that in order to get to my goal length there might be awkward periods in between where my hair isn't exactly how I want it to be and this has helped me resist the urge to cut into a more "stylish" haircut when I go through this awkward period.

MonaLisa
May 6th, 2011, 02:04 AM
really nice topic! :)

So here's something I wanna share..
It's sort of positive thoughts..

I strongly believe that mind can effect processes in our body just as it controls how we move or speak..
So if you think often how your hair is healthy and strong and growing, it's more likely it will be that way...:o

I fixed some small issues this way, when I didnt want to go to doctor for some painful procedures :)

trolleypup
May 6th, 2011, 02:06 AM
And the most basic of tips for growing hair longer. Don't cut it! All else follows.

alwayssmiling
May 6th, 2011, 03:33 AM
I think something I've learned over the past couple of years is to enjoy every stage of growing. Find a way to like all those awkward stages (pretty hair accessories, different up do's, styling techniques). Be happy with the length even if its nowhere near your goal. ENJOY your hair everyday.

OP I really think I wholeheartedly agree with number 3 & 5.

Phexlyn
May 6th, 2011, 04:07 AM
And the most basic of tips for growing hair longer. Don't cut it! All else follows.
This may not apply to all hair types, there are many of us who need at least a bit of trimming in order to grow our hair really long. ;)

What I found very important is that you should enjoy your hair. Length is not everything, and if you hate those thin ends, then cut them until you are happy with your hair again. Every journey has its setbacks, so try to see those as part of your ever growing knowledge of your own hair.

Sophie.Bold
May 6th, 2011, 05:35 AM
Love this thread! :)

When Im stressing out and something really bugs me(Normally trying to figure out if the flyaways are broken hair or new growth :o ), I repeat myself: No matter how much you hate your hair, there is someone out there who will love to have it!

It makes me appreciate it a bit more! :)

missvici
May 6th, 2011, 05:56 AM
Love this thread! :)

When Im stressing out and something really bugs me(Normally trying to figure out if the flyaways are broken hair or new growth :o ), I repeat myself: No matter how much you hate your hair, there is someone out there who will love to have it!

It makes me appreciate it a bit more! :)

I agree! That's how I console myself on a bad hair day too haha.

x0h_bother
May 6th, 2011, 05:57 AM
-Stop trimming (frequently)
don't cut off all that wonderful growth!
you can always cut more off but it takes longer to grow back cutting too much off
-Your hair growth speed is NOT proportionate to the number of conditioners that appear around your shower
-Ignore negative comments about long hair
-Don't be afraid to experiment with nontraditional methods, but know when to stop if a method is hurting your hair
-Work with your texture for the most part, not against it
HTH!

Fairlight63
May 6th, 2011, 06:17 AM
Some very good tips here!

I have bought some really pretty Flexie-8's & a bunch of ficcare's & other hair accessories & when I start to think of cutting my hair I think about all those items that I won't be able to use any more - that keeps me from cutting.
So buy some hair accessories that you really like, it may help to keep you from cutting your hair short.
That sounds silly but it works for me, only because I don't ever sell things & am cheap LOL, but if you sell your items it might not work for you.

WaitingSoLong
May 6th, 2011, 06:48 AM
#1: never ever make any permanent (is anything really permanent?) or semi-permanent change to your hair (or anything else for that matter..ie...tattoos) within 3 months of a crisis. Your own definition of crisis applies.

#2: ALWAYS apply the 2 week rule. For me, it is a month. And during that time, think through all the pros and cons, especially the cons. And consider the long term effects and goals in mind. I have thought for months before doing something and still regretted it.

#3: When in doubt...DON'T (again, this applies to many areas of life).

#4: If you plan to grow really long, you must consider that the hair that comes out at the roots in 5 years will be at your waist or longer. That is some OLD hair. Senior Citizen Hair. Treat it gently from the day it is "born".

#5: Friction is your enemy. Start taking stock of everything that causes friction on your hair. Rubbing=breakage. Ex: backs of chairs, coats, sweaters, seatbelts, pillows, blankets, hair ties, hats,

#6: If you make a hair mistake (cut/dye, etc.), give yourself time to hate it and mourn it. Seriously. Then make a plan and get back in the game.

Madora
May 6th, 2011, 07:01 AM
@Musicallberri

That was an excellent post! Very well stated!

MaiCarInMtl
May 6th, 2011, 07:05 AM
Be patient.

I also find that I have to try and ignore my urge to S&D constantly and have to push myself to ignore my hair on some more frustrating days. My best solution for those kinds of days: Put my hair up (usually into a French or Dutch braid) - with my hair length, it keeps everything out of view so obsessing isn't an option.

When trying out new hair products, it's best to tr one new thing every few weeks - trying 2, 3 4, 10 things all at once will only lead to confusing what is and isn't working. I'm horrible with this but have been getting stricter about it.

WaitingSoLong
May 6th, 2011, 07:15 AM
Be patient.

I also find that I have to try and ignore my urge to S&D constantly and have to push myself to ignore my hair on some more frustrating days. My best solution for those kinds of days: Put my hair up (usually into a French or Dutch braid) - with my hair length, it keeps everything out of view so obsessing isn't an option.

When trying out new hair products, it's best to tr one new thing every few weeks - trying 2, 3 4, 10 things all at once will only lead to confusing what is and isn't working. I'm horrible with this but have been getting stricter about it.

Awww, why doesn't LHC have a LIKE button yet?

vanillabones
May 6th, 2011, 07:34 AM
I need this thread. I hate my hair it makes me cry if I think about how ugly it looks so I try to ignore it and just touch it to see how healthy it is becoming instead. To bob cut or not to bob cut is still the question until I hit shoulder. I can't decide what to do so I just won't cut for now.

xcrunr2go
May 6th, 2011, 07:55 AM
Great post....I once had a bob then decided I would grow it long. I did it, but I got so excited for the end result I almost didn't live during the growing time. I also forgot how to take care of my long hair once it was back, so now I'm back to square one. This time, I'm going to enjoy the ride & embrace my short hair as well as my long hair when it comes back.....because long hair doesn't get long unless it was once short!

dragonchickx
May 6th, 2011, 08:28 AM
All that advice sounds spot on!!! So true. For me, it was realizing that I didn't have to have the trendy haircut that everyone else was getting. To be beautiful meant I could be myself. I particularly like my hair color so I thought I would zone in on that as a good trait. Plus I had a hard time growing it in because of some hair loss I had earlier. It is totally worth it to hang in there though, I couldnt be happier.

elbow chic
May 6th, 2011, 09:06 AM
Awesome post, MB. I agree with all of that.

For me, my #1 thing was that if I felt frumpy/fat/"stuck"/whatever, my remedy was often to go get a haircut. Which I'd always wind up regretting a couple months later, let is grow for six months, and then get frustrated again and repeat the whole process.

So step one is finding some alternative outlet for those feelings. Everyone has them from time to time, but you have to remember that you've always eventually regretted haircuts in the past, and that this time it won't be different.

#2 is believing in your hair. Find someone on or off LHC who has long hair that's otherwise like yours so you can remember it whenever you face a stall or an awkward phase.

My mom, who has long hair herself, used to say that I just don't have the right kind of hair to grow long, because it is very fine and blond (the F is relevant, the color, notsomuch. haha.) I really get where she was coming from-- my hair probably is a lot more fragile than her M/C hair, but that doesn't mean it doesn't grow, either, just that it can't be washed in Octagon dishwashing liquid and ripped through with a plastic brush in under five minutes. :laugh:

Lots of fine-ys around here with hair longer than hers. ;)

musicallberrii
May 6th, 2011, 09:12 AM
Thanks everyone for the tips and keep them coming! It was great to read everyone's tips and ideas so far :) it's always encouraging to hear that others are going through the same thing!


I need this thread. I hate my hair it makes me cry if I think about how ugly it looks so I try to ignore it and just touch it to see how healthy it is becoming instead. To bob cut or not to bob cut is still the question until I hit shoulder. I can't decide what to do so I just won't cut for now.

Your hair is not ugly! I haven't seen a single person on here with ugly hair! And I have grown out from a pixie and it is honestly going to be awkward at times. I didn't start wearing my hair down again and feeling like it looked good until it was past my shoulders. Remember that you have only one head of hair.. You grew it, it is unique, and it is beautiful! Rock that hair and enjoy it because chances are people around you think it's gorgeous (because it is)!!

musicallberrii
May 6th, 2011, 09:18 AM
Elbow chic, good points! I think most of us who are women (and probably men) can relate to that feeling of wanting to chop our hair off or get mad at it when something else isn't going right. My mom actually did it, after a break up she chopped her nearly classic length hair into a bob using kitchen shears! She was so upset afterwards when she realized what she had done! Also, power to the fine heads! My mom always said my hair couldn't grow long either because it is so thin and fine but once I left it the hell alone, it started growing! My hair isn't perfect, but I like it, it's soft and long, and my boyfriend loves it. That has to mean something :)

elbow chic
May 6th, 2011, 09:37 AM
Also, power to the fine heads! My mom always said my hair couldn't grow long either because it is so thin and fine but once I left it the hell alone, it started growing! My hair isn't perfect, but I like it, it's soft and long, and my boyfriend loves it. That has to mean something :)

Shoot, I think that means EVERYTHING.

I got sorely tempted to cut mine into a chin-ish bob several weeks ago, during a fairly stressful series of disputes with DH. but instead I took some cash out of his wallet and bought myself some fancy new conditioner. :D Serves him right!

And now that the crisis is over, I'm so glad I did NOT cut it.

a) While chin length bobs are often adorable on other people, I have tried it at least twice in the past and the effect on me is neither sleek nor adorable.

b) The conditioner was a lot cheaper than a salon visit.

POWER TO THE FINE-HEADS! :cheese:

vanillabones
May 6th, 2011, 09:48 AM
Thanks everyone for the tips and keep them coming! It was great to read everyone's tips and ideas so far :) it's always encouraging to hear that others are going through the same thing!



Your hair is not ugly! I haven't seen a single person on here with ugly hair! And I have grown out from a pixie and it is honestly going to be awkward at times. I didn't start wearing my hair down again and feeling like it looked good until it was past my shoulders. Remember that you have only one head of hair.. You grew it, it is unique, and it is beautiful! Rock that hair and enjoy it because chances are people around you think it's gorgeous (because it is)!!

Thank you I cannot wait until my hair is longer virgin unique and gorgeous like yours :) I really do hate my hair though. Half the length is chin half the length is nape because I had to S&D and now the under is growing faster yet it's not exactly a mullet anymore. What did you do in this stage? Did you trim a few inches or grow through it? :( I am puzzled since the lengths are so obvious with fine hair.

PS I love your curls and waves at the bottom. So romantic!

jel
May 6th, 2011, 10:24 AM
Great thread! :D

I can only add my own blog tagline:

Long hair will happen when there is a desire for it, patience to grow it, and protein to feed it!

racrane
May 6th, 2011, 10:53 AM
I suppose I have something to add to this. It's somewhat personal, but I really struggled with eating disorders for the past 10 years and there's NO way my body, mind and attitude was healthy. I'm still recovering but I can't believe my hair looks the way it does. It was always limp and just not pretty before. Now, it's glowing and I'm a much happier person besides. My advice is merely that our bodies and minds need nourishment above all else. I had to take care of myself first before I could nurture others. A hard lesson to learn, but I'm a content person now. Plus my hair is shiny. :)

spidermom
May 6th, 2011, 10:58 AM
LHC really helped me to hang in there when my hair was frustrating me so much that I was ready to slice it off with anything available. I had stated my goal, and people would remind me of it.

At times I would find myself checking the length 9 times (more or less) per day, looking for growth. And OF COURSE I saw no progress. So I made myself quickly comb it through and put it up without even looking at it every day, day after day. I'd allow myself to look at it once per month, and SURPRISE (not) - I almost always saw progress.

spidermom
May 6th, 2011, 11:00 AM
Thank you I cannot wait until my hair is longer virgin unique and gorgeous like yours :) I really do hate my hair though. Half the length is chin half the length is nape because I had to S&D and now the under is growing faster yet it's not exactly a mullet anymore. What did you do in this stage? Did you trim a few inches or grow through it? :( I am puzzled since the lengths are so obvious with fine hair.

PS I love your curls and waves at the bottom. So romantic!

I'd keep trimming the bottom/longest layer a bit every month or every other month - just a little bit. Eventually that shortest layer will get there.

Alternatively, you could make a ponytail on the very top of your head and snip the longest part from it so that the layering blends instead of being two separate layers.

musicallberrii
May 6th, 2011, 07:15 PM
Thank you I cannot wait until my hair is longer virgin unique and gorgeous like yours :) I really do hate my hair though. Half the length is chin half the length is nape because I had to S&D and now the under is growing faster yet it's not exactly a mullet anymore. What did you do in this stage? Did you trim a few inches or grow through it? :( I am puzzled since the lengths are so obvious with fine hair.

PS I love your curls and waves at the bottom. So romantic!

Aw thank you for the compliment! I think your hair looks very soft and feminine, and almost elvish or fantasy-like! I actually didn't cut or trim my hair at all until it was atleast to my shoulders. It is really awkward at first, but it can look cut from the back since all the layers are growing out. For the first couple years, I usually used a headband and just wore that with it, it kept the growing bangs out of my face and my hair looked fine from the back. Once it was long enough for a ponytail, I would ponytail it or use bobby pins and roll sections into curls and pin them against my head.. very cute look! I wish I could do it now but my hair is too long and it looks strange and piecey. I would say for now that you probably won't need to S&D for a while, until your hair is grown some more at least. I hardly ever S&D my hair, and while fine hair does get splits and damage easier, it is easy to over do trimming and messing with splits. I really really recommend a satin pillowcase because it will cut down a lot on the friction damage that can occur with short hair cuts rubbing on pillows and the such.

Don't hate your hate though, it is adorable in your icon and I am sure it will be beautiful when it grows out :) Enjoy your growing out stages, short hair is so soft and can be fun to play with!!

ETA: I forgot to say, I never trimmed my hair to be even during the growing out stage. I still have some layers that are around upper BSL, and I have a V hemline now anyway so it doesn't bother me much.

LadyG
May 6th, 2011, 08:00 PM
#1: never ever make any permanent (is anything really permanent?) or semi-permanent change to your hair (or anything else for that matter..ie...tattoos) within 3 months of a crisis. Your own definition of crisis applies.

#2: ALWAYS apply the 2 week rule. For me, it is a month. And during that time, think through all the pros and cons, especially the cons. And consider the long term effects and goals in mind. I have thought for months before doing something and still regretted it.

#3: When in doubt...DON'T (again, this applies to many areas of life).

#4: If you plan to grow really long, you must consider that the hair that comes out at the roots in 5 years will be at your waist or longer. That is some OLD hair. Senior Citizen Hair. Treat it gently from the day it is "born".

#5: Friction is your enemy. Start taking stock of everything that causes friction on your hair. Rubbing=breakage. Ex: backs of chairs, coats, sweaters, seatbelts, pillows, blankets, hair ties, hats,

#6: If you make a hair mistake (cut/dye, etc.), give yourself time to hate it and mourn it. Seriously. Then make a plan and get back in the game.


Well stated.

Nev
July 6th, 2011, 09:36 AM
i really enjoyed reading this thread, and i think its one of the best ones i've stumbled across.
one useful life tip i've heard and am trying to practice is that when i have to make a decision i first ask myself if this decision will help me get to my goal, or will it set me back even farther.

getoffmyskittle
July 6th, 2011, 09:49 AM
Nice thread. I think it's article-worthy if you expand it a little. :)

torrilin
July 6th, 2011, 10:15 AM
This may not apply to all hair types, there are many of us who need at least a bit of trimming in order to grow our hair really long. ;).

Ye-ah, but at the same time, he's got a point.

10 years ago, I would have sworn that there was no way I could go more than 3 months in between trims. 5 years ago, I would have sworn there was no way I could go 6 months in between trims. This time last year, I would have sworn there was no way I could go a year between trims. It's not that my hair magically got stronger. It's I got better at being gentle with my hair, so where it used to take 3 months for me to get splitty tangled ends, I can now go a year.

Admittedly, my love of the lazy in hair care has been a powerful motivator. Every time I figure out a way to do less? I'm a happy critter.

rogue_psyche
July 6th, 2011, 05:10 PM
Find someone you trust IRL to be your hair supporter. You want them on board with your goal but also honest enough to let you know how much should be trimmed. I had wanted to cut six inches off a couple months ago but DBF said that three inches would remove the worst of the damage. My hair is three inches closer to my goal than I would have been without him.
Every length is a new challenge. What worked at BSL may not work at Waist. Always look for ways to reduce damage, even and especially when your hair is nearing your goal.
Appreciate other people's hair, but don't let envy devalue your own hair.
Take personal responsibility for your hair. So many people like to blame the dye, the flat iron, the last person who cut their hair for why their hair isn't the way they desire. However, if you view the situation as your choice to dye, iron, or cut you are less likely to repeat the mistake.
If you do make a choice that caused a setback, don't despair. Take stock of the qualities that remain in your hair that you like, and which ones you can reasonably adjust to increase your contentment with your hair.
Create your own hair milestones. One recent one I passed was the last occasion for which I was willing to tease and heat style my hair: my sister's wedding. With no one else in the position to make me a bridesmaid in a fancy wedding, my hair has escaped the heat once and for all, unless I for some reason choose to. (Which I won't).

Lexy
July 6th, 2011, 05:38 PM
I can relate to your feeling that there is a lot of emotional/life stuff that will contribute to the growing (or not) of long hair. I have been a member here since 2003, and growing for a few years before then, but I'm just at BSL.

The things I finally learned:

-I get strong urges to cut my hair when something else in my life is in upheaval. I always have lots of rationalizations for why a cut is a good idea, but the real reason is that I feel out of control in other aspects of my life, so I want to impose control on my hair. In order to have long hair, I had to get the big stuff in my life in order, and I had to figure out other ways to feel in control when things got crazy. Just knowing that was my tendency (and also realizing that no matter how much I cut my hair, I will only have shorter hair, not a changed life) helped me to leave my hair alone.

-My hair is unique to me, and because of that, pretty much whatever it does is amazing. I can't hate it because it's not straight enough or curly enough. It is what it is.

-Relatedly, accepting that it is what it is was really important. Until you admit that you have, for example, 2b hair, it's hard to figure out how to treat it well.

-I am not ever going to be a model or a movie star, so I don't actually need to modify my hair because it doesn't look like whatever is the style this season. I also don't need to have a "stylish" haircut in order to "look my best." I get to decide what makes me look best, and no one else gets to have a say.

-In fact, I don't have to look my best at all. It is perfectly reasonable to grow my hair because that makes me feel my best.

Of course, it's easy to say all of this now after testing out other options for 10 years. I doubt I would have taken this advice from myself when I started growing. An interior shift was required.

RitaCeleste
July 6th, 2011, 06:00 PM
For me, the biggest help has been learning more this time around. Research, Research, Research. I'm always trying new things now. I haven't really been above bsl in a long time, but every time I get near waist, people start to tell me I need to trim it back. My hair and I go to war as I try to deep condition the length and ends. My best advice is not to listen to people too much. And be happy with what you can't change about your hair. If the flat iron damages it, put it away. If color will wreck it and make you chop it, don't do it. If straight or permed fries it, skip it. Its okay to make mistakes, but do try not to make the same ones again and again. Avoiding your hair pitfalls will save you loads of hair and growing time. This more than anything is where length comes from, heading off the chops. :D

Capybara
July 6th, 2011, 06:06 PM
Enjoy it, and grow it for you! :)

May
July 6th, 2011, 08:04 PM
Get a good, quality cut by a quality stylist who understands your goals...even if it costs a little more (since you won't be cutting for a while) while you're growing your hair out so that it's actually enjoyable to grow. If you're trying to grow out an awkward, uneneven haircut then the whole process is not as enjoyable or tolerable and you're more tempted to trim or, worse, cut. This has and is working for me so I thought it might work for others too.:o

Madora
July 6th, 2011, 08:11 PM
Be patient! Rome wasn't built in a day! Growing hair is like growing a bust...it grows slowly..but it grows!

ITS IN THE GENES - Your hair depends on your genes, which you inherited from your parents. Nothing will make your hair grow faster!

BRUSHING and BRUSHES - Brushing with a pure boar bristle brush is good for your hair. It is HOW YOU BRUSH that determines how your hair will look! Synthetic brushes (plastic, nylon, rubber) generate heat when you use them, and heat is not good for your hair!)

Brushing is not something you rush through! It does not take that long, if done correctly! You ALWAYS detangle with a wide tooth comb BEFORE you brush~! And you NEVER BRUSH wet or damp hair!!

CLEAN YOUR HAIR - Your hair needs to be cleansed with shampoo to be properly cleansed of dirt. Unless you exercise heavily, have oily hair, or live in a dust filled environment, you do not need to wash your hair every day! Every time you wash your hair, you remove the natural oil in your hair. If you do not replace that oil, over time, the daily washing will rob the hair of its oil and it will end up looking like straw.

HAIR TOOLS - Keep your hair tools squeaky clean! Remove the hairs from your brush after brushing. A brush cannot work properly if it is filled with hair from yesterday's brushing!

SNARLS/TANGLES/MATTS -- I have loathed them with a purple passion for most of my life. I had very, very thick hair as a young adult and dreaded shampoo day..and delayed it for weeks (but I brushed my hair 100 strokes every day).

After a lot of trial and error, I found a method that makes shampooing/conditioning/drying a less harrowing experience. Tip: the more control you have over your strands, the less tangles you will have!

AIRDRYING - Airdrying is the BEST way to dry your hair! I have my own special "fanning" method that dries my moderately thick, 43 inch hair in 20 minutes (outside) and 45 minutes indoors (standing about 4 feet from a portable electric heater).

HOW TO DETANGLE - Detangle hair while it is full of conditioner. Do it slowly! Take SMALL SECTIONS, start at the ends, and slowly work up the strands until you reach the scalp.

Use a cold water rinse as the last rinse when you shampoo and when you condition.

EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) is TERRIFIC for help in giving your hair incredible slip when practicing braiding!

HAIRPINS (with crimps) are great for holding your hairstyles with ease and comfort! Bobby pins are only for holding short whisps of hair.

CREATING UPDOS: A successful, comfortable, secure updo depends on how you section your hair! There are many ways to section! You only have to experiment to see what works best for you.

PONYTAILS -- Avoid them! Puts too much stress on your hair and can tangle and cause more damage

ELASTICS - Slip off elastics are best. Anything with metal in it is bad.

PRODUCTS -- Those 2 in one products are not conducive for great hair. A shampoo is meant to clean your hair. A conditioner is meant for conditioning. End of story.

PROTECT YOUR FRAGILE ENDS - Wear your hair UP. Use a silk pillowcase. Take care when braiding. Try and leave at least an inch free at the end of your braids.

Use coconut oil (or the oil of your choice) on the last 2 inches of your hair.

BRAIDING - If you're interested in learning to braid, but do not know how, practice with hanks of yarn, knotted at the top. Stick the knot in a drawer, close it to hold it firmly, then begin practicing the braiding motions. Once you learn the "English" (i.e. Indian braid), then learn the "Dutch" braid (the only difference between these braids are how the strands are crossed over (or UNDER) the center strands).

INSPIRATION - Pin up pictures that inspire you..on your frid, in your bedroom..in your bathroom!

Above all, treat your hair like delicate lace. Shampoo gently, do not "moosh" your hair against your scalp like a rag! Use your fingerpads to massage the shampoo into your scalp. Massage your scalp in one direction, then massage it in the other direction. The less you get those wet strands all messed up with washing in different directions, the less tangles you will have!

Practice, practice, practice your hairstyling skills. Each one may not be "perfect" BUT you are getting used to the way your hair moves, and exercising your shoulder muscles, and little by little, things will fall into place!

And when you master a french braid, or a bun, etc. think of ALL THE MONEY you will save because you knew how to style your hair attractively, and did not have to rely on a salon to create the style for you! Makes me smile all da time!

Happy growing/hairstyling!!

rapunzhell13
July 6th, 2011, 11:35 PM
For me the most important tip is to find another outlet for boredom, frustration, anger etc. Drastic cuts and colour never solves the problem and I end up feeling worse. My suggestions are things like pampering (massage, pedicure etc.), watch some movies, listen to music, go shopping for knick knacks, read a book, cook or bake, pet an animal, go for a walk/jog/hike/bike ride/workout, "quality time" with your partner, aromatherapy, crafting, other hobbies, house and yard work, run errands... Pretty much anything that keeps you busy 'til the crazy ends.

LunaMoon
July 7th, 2011, 05:39 AM
1. choose carefully who will cut/trimm your hair. The best is to learn DIY. I had experiences with my mother and BF (not the one I acually got married of course) cutting more than 15 cm of my hair when I asked 1cm. Sometimes choosing a friend or someone you trust is not enough. The person has to understand and respect your decision to grow long hair. Is good to analize the personalities (what I've failed) and see if the people that you ask for help is not the kind of "I will show/teach you the right way" people.

2. If you are in a urge for changing: Try a new lipstik color or make up (for ladies, of course). Buy a nice heat or new hair toys. Don't touch your hair!

3. Keep up your hair cuts or trimms on a schedule. Don't cut just because you are feeling the ends dry. Treat them.

4. Don't listen to people that you know is not you hair allies. Don't ask advices about hair with short haired people. Keep going and keep your goals.

5. If you are really thinking your long hair is needing some big cut, because is to damaged or just doesn't suit you at all, try some few, long,layers first. That can make a huge change without compromising any length. If you still think is better to chop it off, go for it, but try the best conditioners, quelators and clarifiers first. Sometimes what looks damaged is just build up or lack of moisture.

oktobergoud
July 7th, 2011, 06:45 AM
Ah yes, amazing thread :)

And I sooo agree on your first point! I've been trying to grow it out many times but never succeeded (or not long) because I thought my hair was boring and I didn't really had a goal length. I do have one now! It's not long, and it will probably change after that one, but I like to keep my goal realistic. Right now it's a bob (growing it out from a pixie), after that probably chin length, and then? Maybe shoulder, APL, I'll see! But I like to keep my goals realistic, otherwise I'd get frustrated and cut it all off again since I'm kind of an impatient person hehe :P

Try not to obsess is a good one as well.. trying as hard as possible! I must say that lately I've been obsessing less and it's much easier now!

celebriangel
July 7th, 2011, 01:39 PM
1. Learn a style (at each length) that you can do in about ten seconds with just the single hairstick you always keep in your bag/ the two spin pins you have in your purse. This will mean that, instead of getting frustrated with your hair and the time it takes and being late, you'll be ready for any and all situations. For me: late for work? No problem! I can do a lazy wrap bun with a pencil while walking :)

2. Always carry a hairtoy which you can use to create a quick, easy style. I always carry a cheap hairstick in my pencilcase (really my contains-everything-useful bag with some pens in it) and two spin pins in my purse. With two spin pins I can do a fast, messy topknot cinnabun (great if I have no tangle teezer and my hair is ratty), and with the hairstick I can do a lazy wrap bun or an infinity bun, all very quickly.

3. Basically: BE PREPARED.

4. Make your haircare into a routine. This way, instead of seeming to get in the way/be inconvenient, it will just sort of happen. For example, always wash your hair on tuesday evenings, or oil your ends every evening, or do an SMT every other sunday.

5. If you are becoming obsessed with your hair/condition of your ends/getting a cut, acknowledge you are thinking emotionally rather than rationally about this - and since emotions are changeable rational thought is required to pursue long-term goals - and go away and do something else until you stop obsessing. Then, allow yourself to think carefully about possible solutions. Give yourself a time limit for making the decision (i.e. I will wait two weeks before doing any trims, and a month before doing anything more drastic).

6. The solution "put your hair up and forget about it" is an excellent and legitimate one. If you pursue other goals and do other things, one day your hair will just be long.

7. Figure out a very simple routine which you can fall back on in times of trouble/stress/when you can't be bothered. I know it's fun to play with your hair sometimes, but other times we are just too busy, so then the things we "have" to do seem like a chore, just another reason to get rid of the hair. However, I know that my hair does perfectly well if I CO wash every 5-7 days, use my panacea summer salve leave-in, put it up every day, and henna the roots every month. Not very labour intensive at all - in fact, much easier than short hair. I *like* to do regular SMTs and prewash oilings and things to increase growth, but I know I don't have to.

8. I often find myself using hair as a motivation - "my hair will grow long and healthy if I cook a nice meal with lots of veggies" and "my hair will be thick and shiny if I do this exercise program".

georgia_peach
July 18th, 2011, 06:16 PM
BUMP and Hooray for the awesome-ness that is this thread!:cheer:

(Wish I had a good tip to offer, but I'm one of those that needs the advice rather than giving it. ;))

Naturel
July 18th, 2011, 07:36 PM
What a wonderful thread :cheese: So helpful! Especially in time like this for me. I have been obsessed and stressed about my hair recently. The advices in here are going to help me recover very soon and move ahead with taking care of my hair.
Thanks a lot for your tips:love:

StephanieP3
July 19th, 2011, 07:58 PM
#1: never ever make any permanent (is anything really permanent?) or semi-permanent change to your hair (or anything else for that matter..ie...tattoos) within 3 months of a crisis. Your own definition of crisis applies.

#2: ALWAYS apply the 2 week rule. For me, it is a month. And during that time, think through all the pros and cons, especially the cons. And consider the long term effects and goals in mind. I have thought for months before doing something and still regretted it.

#3: When in doubt...DON'T (again, this applies to many areas of life).

#4: If you plan to grow really long, you must consider that the hair that comes out at the roots in 5 years will be at your waist or longer. That is some OLD hair. Senior Citizen Hair. Treat it gently from the day it is "born".

#5: Friction is your enemy. Start taking stock of everything that causes friction on your hair. Rubbing=breakage. Ex: backs of chairs, coats, sweaters, seatbelts, pillows, blankets, hair ties, hats,

#6: If you make a hair mistake (cut/dye, etc.), give yourself time to hate it and mourn it. Seriously. Then make a plan and get back in the game.


Your hair is so amazingly gorgeous, has it always been that silky or is it due to a hair care routine? I am in awe, I want your hair. :p

nocojojo
July 19th, 2011, 09:18 PM
So sweet! Thanks for encouraging a beginning grower.

Dorothy
July 19th, 2011, 09:35 PM
I would say follow lhc instructions, and it is likely you will be able to grow your hair much longer than you thought possible. This was my experience. I'm still fighting with my camera/photobucket/lhc upload tools to try to get my pics up. I used to think I was terminal at BSL, and now I am sure I don't know what terminal is for me with good, delicate, pretty natural hair care - bakelite comb, no brushing, lots of simple updos, CWC, Henna, Cassia, SMT, Camillia oiling the ends after every wash, avoiding physical damage to hair - the snapping of strands sound is NEVER OK. Whatever you're doing that makes that sound, whether it's combing from the top or pulling out hair bands or your shoulder bag slipping off - that sound is your hair breaking off. Stop doing that thing.

ashli
July 19th, 2011, 11:23 PM
I think that is a beautiful thought.

ashli
July 19th, 2011, 11:27 PM
Love this thread! :)

When Im stressing out and something really bugs me(Normally trying to figure out if the flyaways are broken hair or new growth :o ), I repeat myself: No matter how much you hate your hair, there is someone out there who will love to have it!

It makes me appreciate it a bit more! :)

Okay this is what I think is a beautiful thought. I love this thread it is so nice to see so many positive and encouraging ideas and tips in one place.

eternalknot
July 21st, 2011, 02:47 AM
My goal isn't to have a certain length of hair, but just to have healthy hair. I was still able to gleam some great tips from this thread, most of all seeing how to form a healthy hair attitude.

Great read. :)