Help for 8 y.o. DD hair- tangled/waxy

[Firefly]

I hope someone can help-- my 8 year old daughter's hair has become very unmanageable. It has a waxy feel and tangles VERY easily. After brushing it out, it will instantly begin to stick together again when I try to run my fingers through it. For lack of a better description, it almost feels like doll hair-- remember after you'd had your doll for a while the hair would be almost sticky??

This morning I did a thorough clarifying (using Avalon Organics Lemon Clarifying Shampoo, followed by an ACV rinse, followed by VO5 conditioner). It did feel a bit better immediately afterwards, but once it started drying, the waxy feel returned.

I'm at a loss! At first I thought it might be the VO5, but I don't experience the waxiness on my own hair (I use the same conditioner regularly); besides, she gets the same results with other conditioners we've tried.

I thought maybe it could be her hair type... it is fine, thick, wavy blond hair that is MBL (2a?). I have her CWC with a minimal amount of an SLS-free shampoo. As a baby and toddler it was corkscrew curly, and I'm wondering if it's starting to go back that way; maybe the waxiness is really just coarse hair?

I don't know where to go from here-- if the cause is something else I'm just not thinking of..? I would really appreciate any advice... I have to comb it out at least once a day (and even with that, it looks like a tangled rat's nest not 20 minutes later!). She is miserable every time I have to comb it and it's not a pleasant experience for me, either! :(

Firefly

[Ursula]

If she has wavy or potentially curly hair, put down the brush! Brushing often causes problems, by breaking apart the curl/wave pattern.

Your clarifying might not be clarifying enough. I find I need an ALS shampoo (such as tresseme Vit. C) to get a good clarifying.

I'd also suggest you braid her hair routinely - one or two braids, depending on length. This will help prevent tangles. I'd say wash and condition, detangle with a wide tooth comb, rinse well while continuing to comb, and braid firmly while still wet. Loose hair is just begging for tangles in an active child.

[Fillette]

I feel your pain. It might only be a coincidence but I experienced a similar thing with Vo5 conditioner. Even after i stopped using it, it took a little while for my hair to adjust. (BTW, I am now using Suave and I love it.)

Also, have you considered oiling the ends of your DD's hair? And I don't know what your routine is but maybe you need to use a heavier conditioner for conditioning purposes and keep lighter conditioners for "washing" the hair (i don't know if I make any sense here.)

I hope you find a solution to your problem soon. Hang in there, it will get better. :)

[Kirin]

The avalon organics doesn't contain sulphates and likely isn't going to clarify very well. That "sticky" feeling you are getting is most likely a build up of waxes in most conditioners (even the best of them) and enviornmental buildup from pollutants in the air. Try simple V05 Kiwi Lime squeeze, its cheap and it works.

Some may disagree with me but in my opinion (and experience) sulphate free shampoo, shampoo bars, baking soda and vinegar will NOT remove that type of residue.

[Firefly]

What a relief to find your replies-- thank you! I feel like there are now more options for me to try. 8)

First of all, I will find a stronger clarifying shampoo and try that again. I'll also be better about braiding her hair... she likes to wear it down, but maybe the idea of less tangles (and painful comb-outs) will encourage her to wear it up or braided.

Thanks again everyone, I will post back in a few days with an update. :flower:

Firefly

[Firefly]

Just wanted to post a quick update (and a big thank you!) I had to clarify a couple of times before the waxy feeling finally went away, but it worked. She still has tangle-prone and coarse hair, but it is so much easier to manage without the waxiness. I do think her hair is getting coarser because it's starting to go back to it's toddler-curlies; I'll have to read up again on curl management. Oh, and the routine braiding has been working wonders, too. Thanks again everyone-- your advice has saved many tears!

Firefly

[Arctic]

That's wonderful news!

[Kirin]

Fantastic! Glad its going well now for her!

[Alethia]

That waxy feel definitely sounds like conditioner build up. I'm glad you managed to clarify it out. I got a similar thing with Garnier Fructis conditioner within one use. If you try cone free it might be better for her. Something like Aussie Luscious Long or similar. I agree with the oiling if she's starting to go curly again. Good luck!!

[angelthadiva]

DD6 likes her hair loose, so I feel your pain...However, I've convinced her that if her hair is braided that = less tangly hair...So, most of the time her hair is kept braided in some fashion.
No more tears either! :)

[Katze]

My BF is having similar issues and I wanted to post too. In his case his hair is fine, thick and very wavy (2c) but tangly and waxy with serious dandruff.

Yesterday I "forced" him to vinegar-rinse (diluted ACV), massaging his scalp and repeating the rinsing, letting the vinegar sit on his scalp, then shampooed, then ('cone-free) conditioner from the ears down. His hair is lots smoother today and the flakes are gone.

It does get very tangled, to the point that I have to pick out dreads that are starting to form. I don't know how I can teach him to better deal with his hair; he mentioned "just cutting it off" in frustration!

In your daughter's case, how do you help her avoid tangles?

[Firefly]

Katze-- keeping her hair braided or up has been my best defense against the tangles. Especially at night-- I find that since the waxy build up is gone, most of the tangles she does get are from sleeping at night. I also switched her off the protein conditioner (VO5) and am having her use the cone-free Suave line. Both have helped so far. If he's not one to wear his hair braided, maybe finding the right conditioner would help in your BF's case too?

All this said, I am still trying to tweak a routine for DD... I'm experimenting with having her wash in the morning instead of at night, doing CO washes, combing in the shower vs. no combing at all, washing every day vs. 2-3 times a week... different combinations of all these things. We will get there eventually, but it is a process! (**Curlies who may be reading this: do you wash every day??**)

Thanks again everyone for your well wishes and advice!

[suicides_eve]

dd has 3a hair that is 'bsl' and my routine is as follows:

*clarify as needed with small amount of baking soda to a small amount of shampoo(i use diluted suave) i do this once a month on her

*next i use cone free Nexxus humcantress i think that is what it's called- all i know is i swear by it for moisturizing both our curly heads (which need lots of moisture)

*i let that sit for as long as she lets me and then comb out with a large tooth comb.
i take a bucket and dump it over her head only once as it lets some condioner stay on her hair.

*we blot dry with microfiber towles and i comb it once more and let it air dry

for refreshing i take some condish in a bottle mix with water and spray and comb- NEVER use a brush it can lead to tragic cotton head

at night we both have silk or fake silk pillows ,as soon as i stoped using cotton or anything like that her tangles have practically disapeared

[Ursula]

If she's getting tangles at night, you might consider getting her a satin pillowcase. The smoothness of the satin lets the hair move without friction, and cuts way down on tangles.

LisaJaney makes nice ones, quite affordable, sold at the same site where she sells her cloth menstrual pads - TLC Pads.

[tobikay]

I'm still working on that braid = less tangles conversation with my dd... would love to find some kind of simple updo that she likes, that will stay in, and won't take 45 minutes to do...

[danacc]

I'm still working on that braid = less tangles conversation with my dd... would love to find some kind of simple updo that she likes, that will stay in, and won't take 45 minutes to do...

The caterpillar style (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=1492524&highlight=caterpillar#post1492524) is popular with kids; maybe she will like it if it's not one you've tried, yet. Just make sure to use hair-gentle ties. You can make some gentle ones by cutting up panty hose or stockings.

[tobikay]

Yes, gentle hair ties are my issue with that 'do. I tried those "no slip" ties...no no no no no. they were nothing but a huge mess in her hair. There is a very fine balance between holding securely and breakage.

[danacc]

Yes, no-slip ties are a definite no-no for my hair. I've found that for the last hair-tie, if I loop the ends up, and then put the tie around the loop, it won't slip off of my slippy hair.

Another one to try is a braided-in ribbon (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=60). You only have to tie as tight as necessary to keep the braid from unraveling since the ribbon itself will not slip off the end.

[tobikay]

Interesting... my dd's hair is not so slippery as it is very very heavy. She often complains that ponytails are tight and pull from the front.

My hair on the other hand is thinner and pretty curly. Often I can hold it up with nothing, just twist it around itself and tuck it under.

[dvas]

My 7-year-old daughter has tailbone length hair that tangles easily. Braids are our best defense, though I'm going to try a lot of other things mentioned here -- I think she could use a good clarifying shampoo. She loves wearing her hair down, so we compromise by ALWAYS braiding at night and she wears her hair down the day before we wash/condition. She loves all the braid waves she gets!

Two things that helped that I've tried recently is Ion Daily Solutions Finishing Detangler and a detangler comb (both from Sally's). I don't know why a wide-toothed comb wasn't working as well, but the detangler comb has two sets of teeth and seems to help with the really bad tangles. I usually start with this comb and then use my horn comb after the worst of the tangles are gone.

[lora410]

My dd has curly hair as well and I am glad the clarifying worked. You may want to try a protein treatment if her hair is still gummy. Also experiment with cones and no cones reaction on her hair. And definitely PUT THE BRUSH DOWN.Believe it or not I find the comb is soo much easier and you don't hear snap, snap, snap. I also do mainly CO washes on her with non-cones condish and throw in Avalon's Biotin b-complex shampoo in between co's. I also make a leave in with condish and distilled water in a spray bottle and that helps tons to after of before combing. I find her hair combs easiest when damp.