waves/gel/articles/shaving my head

[WaitingSoLong]

Ok first, can you search the LHC articles? I always try hard to answer my questions there before posting and asking the same question y'all have seen for the millionth time. I looked for a search and didn't see one. There were too many to sift through to find my questions.

My questions:
Are hair gels bad?
Is aloe gel supposed to be a "safe" hair gel?

And by gel, I mean to preserve waves. I don't care if it feels crunchy.

I am not sure why but the under canopy of my hair has become very curly. I have always had a cowlick back there and slight waves, but after watching SunshineLiz (hi!) do experiments on her fuzz and discover curls, I decided to as well.

SO I have this fluff at the nape of my neck that is too short for my updos. It starts out there and gains freedom as the day wears on. To my delight, after working out in the yard and sweating the other day, I came in and saw SPIRALS on that neck fuzz. Only it wasn't fuzzy anymore. I almost took pics, I wish I did now.

So I looked back into my childhood, back when my Mom had my hair in that horrible 70's bowl cut (complete with the HUGE-OLA glasses), and recalled my hair being short pretty much forever and, lo and behold, I think I have waves. Possibly even "almost" curls. I do know I straightened my hair through most of Jr. High and High school, even when it was "long" (I think long back then to me was APL). It takes at least that to start pulling it straight. However I always have this huge S wave at the nape (not just the fuzzies, but the whole under canopy).

There is one good thing that has come from this, I think I may have finally cured myself of the urge to shave my head. I have truly been battling this for about a year and in the last few weeks I have ALMOST done it. By almost, I mean I thought about actually grabbing the scissors but never did. LOL. I think the pixie is what I want, but I no longer am willing to go through the in-between to grow it back out so unless I want to stay at pixie, I think I will let go of this obsession. Two days ago I almost posted that I was going to do it, I was prepared to do before and after pics and everything.

Last night I had a dream that I did it and I ended up with an afro, only to discover I had left a TBL rat-tail because I still wanted to claim I was TBL. LOL! But the waves turned into afro in my dream. Maybe not realistic, but sure makes me think twice!

Right now I do not really have a hair goal. I guess I am overall unhappy with my hair. I had decided to "forget about it" for the summer and reassess in the fall. However, I am hating my hair right now and finding it utterly unmanageable and also feeling very ugly when I wear it up. I am just in a hair-funk so thought I would experiment with the waves. Since it is only the under part of my hair, I was thinking of a half up with the rest in lovely spirals? LOL I have the same fuzz that is at my nape along my widows peak. Last year it was new growth, now it is about 4" long and REFUSES to stay put and it STICKS STRAIGHT UP no matter what I do. I have plastered it to death with hairspray and it pops up like Alfalfa. This makes all my updos look horrendous and gives the effect I just went for a motorcycle ride. I will have to take pics of that, too, and post it in my Imperfect Hair thread.

Ok this is getting long so I will quit.

[spitfire511]

Noooo! Okay - there I said it. :) I always LOVE looking at your gorgeous hair in your siggy.

Then again, coming from someone who went chin-length before Christmas I have no room to talk.

I have no intelligent input regarding gels. I use them seldom enough that I just use a store-bought one meant for curls and then CWC with a clarifying shampoo my next wash. The other thing (DH had gorgeous curls when he had hair :( and used to do this) is to use a bit of conditioner as a leave-in and scrunch. That used to keep his curls from frizzing but left the hair soft.

ETA: DD (sitting in my lap as I type) said, "Mommy, can we look at pictures of her beautiful hair? I wish it could be as long as hers!" :)

[WaitingSoLong]

ETA: DD (sitting in my lap as I type) said, "Mommy, can we look at pictures of her beautiful hair? I wish it could be as long as hers!" :)

:o:o:o:o...really? I wish some people could see me IRL. Not nearly as impressive.

I have always longed to be spotted on the Long Hair Sighting Thread and never have. sigh.

[Firefox7275]

You can search thread titles under the 'advanced search' function, which often comes up with more useful results than the basic search - a lot of times someone has linked to an article! You can also search the entire site (including the articles) via Google by entering this site:longhaircommunity.com and then your search term. :)

[Sunshineliz]

Aw, I've inspired something! That makes me feel happy!:)

Having said that, I say...NOOOOOOOOOOO don't cut the hair! DD5 was also enjoying seeing your pretty hair. I think your hair is her dream!

But experimentation? Go for it and see how it turns out! It's not like cutting your hair or dyeing it where you can't just go back to your regular routine if you don't like it. The only things I haven't enjoyed about experimenting are buying something I'm not sure will work (I'm rather tight-fisted--I usually have to convince myself that it will have other uses, like AVG for after sun exposure), and that I don't like to wash my hair very often. Well...that, and that I seem to experiment often on Saturday night and have to live with it on Sunday morning at church.

I have problems searching for answers too. Most of the time the search engine tells me my search words are too common, or too short (like gel!) I always use the search engine with my name to help remind me where I've posted so I can follow up on it if I want to (and don't want to actually subscribe to the thread) That's how I ended up here, when I said, wait, I didn't post there!

Have fun Waiting and don't forget to show pics!

[spidermom]

Aloe vera gel isn't a good thing to use in a dry climate because it will actually draw moisture out of your hair to try to balance with the atmosphere. Glycerin does, too. I don't know much about the climate of Indiana.

I don't think that leave-in products are harmful to hair. Most of them are formulated to be non-drying. My issue with them is that they draw lint and dust to my hair and make it harder to comb out. For that reason, I like to generously oil the length before washing, and then use a little bit of coney serum after washing (but no more often than once per week). Oh - but I do use product over the top to smoothe down my frizzies so I don't look like a grizzled old prospector.

[WaitingSoLong]

Spider: Indiana can be quite humid in summer. We are not there yet...it frosted last night :shocked: GRRR. I cannot rememebr the last time it frosted in May. I should probably wait til it warms up to experiment. But who knows what I will do if I get bored.

Sunshine: I think we should be hair sisters. I am the same way about buying experimental products for my hair. I bought AVG for the same reason. I know any poo/conditioner I use and don't like my dd can use. Her hair is waist and she can use ANYTHING on it and it looks so thick, shiny, healthy...ahh...to be 12 again.

I set my userCP to automatically subscribe to anything I post in (it includes threads I start). I wish I had done it 2 years ago. All I have to do is check my subscribed threads, it only shows threads with new posts, too. I LOVE it. SO much easier than doing searches and if you get tired of a thread just UNsubscribe! I SERIOUSLY HIGHLY SUGGEST IT. :p

Firefox: WOW how do you know so much about searching? :cool: Cool info. I will have to write it down so I do not forget. THANKS!

[DakarNick]

If I saw you in real life I would be too chicken to compliment you but would definitely post about you in the Long Hair Sighting thread!

I also hope you don't cut!

[summerjade]

Waitingsolong, You have the most gorgeous hair!!! It is simply beautiful!! I wish I had your hair!! I'm serious, I admire it so much. Have you looked at some of the tutorials where Torrin Page does those beautiful updos and braids. Your hair is long enough to do her updos. You could maybe experiment with some of those styles and help you to get out of your hair funk without cutting. I love your long hair and hope you decide to keep it.

[jil]

I second Firefox7275's google suggestion. I really get better results when I search the LHC site through google than when I use the actual LHC search function. :)

[WaitingSoLong]

Thanks DakarNick!

SummerJade: I hate doing my hair. That is one of the reasons I grew it long to begin with, I can just wash and go. No styling. Buns take 10 seconds, I can do those. I rarely do the ones that take longer, like a rose bun or even a Cinnabun. Stick buns are what kept me growing when th length got too long to be practical to wear down all the time.

I have fooled around with some tutorials but I get super frustrated and the process of braiding seems to snap off a lot of my hairs. Every now and then I try to invent a new bun. I have spent too logn trying to perfect a waterfall braid and have yet to do it. Techincally, though, my hair is still down then. I have tried a crown braid several times (the real kind) and never even came close to making something that looks right.

I guess I am hair lazy! Which is why a pxie appeals to me but not the "tween" stages.

[torrilin]

I think starting at the gel end is maybe counterproductive?

If you've got fuzzy proto-spirals, that implies your hair is dry. So conditioner washes, diluted shampoo, maybe adding leave-in conditioner... all of those would help improve the moisture level of your hair. You probably have a decent idea of what stuff is reasonable to start with on your hair for improving moisture.

The next step for curls is to promote clumping. You *want* it to make rat-tail like shapes as it dries, because those rat-tails are proto-curls. It will probably take practice to figure out how to enhance your clumping and how to dry at the right pace for curls. Even if they don't make "proper" curls, it is easy enough to break up the clumps with a wide tooth comb and get a smoother look. I tend to think of the clumps as protective for my hair.

Gel seems to be for enhancing clumping even more, and to a lesser extent for sealing in moisture. But it seems like gel is meant to enhance what's already present, not make hair magically clump into curls. So while I'm working on enhancing what curl I have, I haven't added gel to my routine yet. I'm still experimenting with what actually promotes clumping in my hair.

[Stub]

Have you tried making flax seed gel for gluing down frizz? It's ultra cheap, flax seeds are like 2$/pound and they last forever. I braid my hair every morning before going to work walking dogs (outside in wind moving all day) and then plaster the scalp down with insane amounts of FSG. It starts out looking like a helmet but by the end of the day just looks like hair, but is still not frizzy. You can finger comb out the helmet look too. It rinses out easily with plain water. It's very conditioning, my hair loves it. I'm only at BSL though and can at least rinse my hair every night in the shower when I feel like I have too much 'gunk'. You can add other things to the FSG to, like honey or epsom salts (magnesium sulfate) to enhance curl. I've been experimenting with my hair since about January, it's fun!

[WaitingSoLong]

I have never heard of FSG. Do you have any links to make it?

[celebriangel]

Er. I don't wanna stomp all over your pixie = no maintenance idea, but...well, not really. I had one. You can't cut it yourself, you need to get it trimmed every 6 weeks by the *same* hairdresser otherwise it comes out weird, you have to wash it pretty much every day, then put product, then blowdry, then do some sort of styling thing.

For lower-maintenance hair, you could try cutting to hip? If manageability/maintenance is your issue. I've heard some say that they find past-butt hair much more irritating, because they can't leave it down if they like.

Also, if your hair was shorter, but still long, you might be able to cultivate more wave throughout all of it. Good luck!

Have you ever had a pixie? Because, as a counter-point, I feel a lot of longhairs should have one once, just to see how much they surprisingly like it/completely hate it and will never cut their hair again.

[WaitingSoLong]

I have never had a pixie. I have had some pretty short hair, though. Shaved at the nape, longer in the front...looking for a pic....something like this (http://hairstyleschats.com/tag/what-can-short-hair/).

There are products you can use to un through your hair so as not to have to wash every day. Not gells, just leave-in type stuff. I cannot seem to think of the name but it was Tigi Bedhead line.

Anyway, I didn't plan to maintain the pixie, sort of one of those "I have always wanted to" things. Really, I want to shave my head but don't think I could pull it off.

And yes, I have considered cutting back to hip or somewhere between waist and hip. Sure seemed like a lot less hassle then. I used to be able to scrunch waves into it, too. Braid waves are OK but the tip is always straight the last 4" or so and I refuse to use a curling iron. I usuaolly wet it and scrunch the ends but somehow this straightens it even further up. LOL. That is why I was asking about gel.

[Sunshineliz]

I understand the feeling of needing to chop, my friend.:blossom:

I've never had hair quite as long as yours, but it's been as long as tailbone. After I had kids, I kept chopping and growing a lot of times between BSL and waist. I have to admit I got REALLY hair-lazy. So hair lazy I didn't even detangle every day. If it was really tangled, I'd just throw it into a ponytail rather than deal with it on a busy, kid-filled morning (this from someone who brushed her hair between every class in high school, and usually more than that!) Sometimes I'd even fall asleep on my ponytail and that always caused a humongous rat's nest at the base of my neck. Then I was in a hurry one day and tried to use the only thing I could find--rat-tail comb to detangle that horrid mess on wet hair. It still took forever and I could hear all the snapping! Let's just say my hair felt pretty awful after all the abuse and it didn't look nice anymore. And I was really tired of my hair getting in the way. So I chopped it off to shoulder. It was a relief and a shock too.

I miss my longer hair. I don't miss damage. I don't miss it getting in my way. Now though, I know more about taking care of it and am trying to keep it healthy. I think I got so bad because I was busy and tired of not knowing what to do with my hair. But I think I can do some updos when I need it out of the way (my earlier skills included only ponytails and some french braids) So I was thinking about maybe BSL for me? I don't know...so many people told me they loved the chop and it looked better short, but I don't know if that's because it was so damaged, or because I'm older than 30 and silvering and they think that's what such people should do, or because it just looks better shorter.

I just want to say I completely understand the urge. I can see that past waist hair must take a lot of work, and if you're not into updos much that can be annoying. Perhaps waist WOULD be better? But it is so gorgeous I would go into mourning if you chopped all your hair off!:cry:

[Sunshineliz]

BTW I had a friend once that always did braid waves and she put soft curlers at the bottom ends and it always looked good! If you didn't want to use curlers, you could wrap the end around a sock and tie the sock--sort of a mini sock curl.

[WaitingSoLong]

Thanks for the curling ideas!

I guess part of my dilemma is that I don't see my hair as long. Yes, I know what people say, but it is not like it got here overnight and with occasional trims and whatnot, I guess it has just never felt long. Yet it is TOO long to be practical. whatever.

I think chopping would wake me up real quick...like...holy crap my hair WAS long. LOL.

I know I have this picture of me right after I had my second baby. It was an action photo and ended up in a collage frame on the wall. I would always admire my hair length (this after I had cut it many times). One day I decided I would grow that long again. I guess it was about waist length or slightly shorter. My point is that I thought that was really long hair. Perspectives are a funny thing. I can look at my Mom's hair and think "my hair is WAY long" or at a pic on LHC and think "my hair is WAY short". Only LHCers walk around placing labels on hair length (she is BSL, she is Classic...etc.) and since I have yet to come across one LHCer in my neck of the woods, I don't think I am being hair judged. These are my own standards I am holding myself to, not others.

As of now, I keep doing fake poses with my hair at different lengths to "try out" the look. Anything shorter than my current length just seems so SHORT! (funny, same thing on others seem so long...and stranger still...when I see my siggy photo I think...that CANNOT be my hair? It is not that long? I think the term Hair Annorexia has already been coined on LHC) And in some twisted way I think, if I am going short, it may as well be pixie. I mean, if anything shorter than waist seems short, what is the difference? How long it takes to grow out? So what? Is my hair growing on a time limit?

Alas, I have had enough experiences with regret to keep my scissors comfortable in the drawer. However, it IS only hair. However, as a woman, HAIR seems to be a lot.
(can you see the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other?) LOL.

Ultimately, I don't see anything right now I could do that would "cure" my unhappiness with my hair, so I do nothing. I always say this but I will say it again: when in doubt, don't. ALso, I think I care too much about what other people willsay (IRL) if I do a big cut. Few people comment on my hair (except strangers) but I am not sure I am willing to endure all the comments I would receive.

ETA: I have long thought, though, that if I were going to really do it, I would spend a month at least telling everyone I was going to do it so it would not be such a huge shock.

[lapushka]

What about just trimming a bit off? You could keep getting minor trims until you get to a length that you like again. A small trim can make a huge difference, and can be shocking in and of itself!

I went to above shoulder from classic length as a child because I was sick and tired of always sitting on my hair. Instead of a small trim, I had a lot of length chopped off. It was a huge difference and I regretted it the next day. If you're going to cut, I'd do it in small stages.

[Sunshineliz]

What about just trimming a bit off? You could keep getting minor trims until you get to a length that you like again. A small trim can make a huge difference, and can be shocking in and of itself!

I went to above shoulder from classic length as a child because I was sick and tired of always sitting on my hair. Instead of a small trim, I had a lot of length chopped off. It was a huge difference and I regretted it the next day. If you're going to cut, I'd do it in small stages.


<<This.>>>

[WaitingSoLong]

Ah yes but then I cannot keep my long braid...

[celebriangel]

Oh dear, you sound very conflicted. Are you perhaps in a rut in some other part of your life, and taking it out on your hair?

From the sounds of things, I think perhaps a larger trim - a few inches perhaps - would be a good test. Then it would grow back quickly if you hated it, and give you some perspective on how attached you *really* are to your length. I.e if you cry for days, maybe no more trims, but if you feel lighter and freer then consider a few more inches.

But if your frustration is tied to something other than your hair - and this is only a guess, here - then chopping your hair, I am sorry to say, will probably not make you feel better (unless you chop it into something you *love*, and even then the happiness will be short-term, and the frustration with the other thing(s) will still be there).

Okay, I'mma stop the hijack now.

[xoxophelia]

I think you should play around with braid waves and bun waves a bit. A small texture change can make a big difference as well. I do those when I am bored because like you, I am lazy with my hair and I only have to wait for those to dry. Braid waves can be really nice in the way that you can "wait" while you sleep and it is comfortable. I don't know much about gels unfortunately.

I'll have to try it out though. Maybe my hair won't go "puff" as it sometimes does.

[Stub]

Yes I have a link from which I started making FSG: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/recipes-%97-hair-body/61208-no-fail-flax-seed-gel-i-finally-did-twice.html

That is a HUGE discussion though, with other links throughout.

The basic recipe is 1/4 c flax seeds to 2 c water. Put in a large sauce pan and bring to a boil, then simmer, stirring (I use a whisk) constantly for a few minutes until gel starts to string from the whisk or spoon when you lift it out of the water. At that point quickly dump the whole mess through a strainer. Use a fairly large mesh as the seeds will swell when cooked and a fine mesh will not allow the gel through, it will just cling to the seeds. If you cook it too long too much gel comes out of the seeds and it turns into an unruly clump. (Although if that happens you can just put it back on the heat without the seeds and add more water) At this point you can add other things if you like, 1/4 tsp honey or 1/8 tsp epsom salts or herbs or whatever you can think of. Some people add little bits of various oils although I have found oil separates out right away even added hot. I usually add a few drops of essential oil for a nice smell but the flax seeds themselves don't really smell bad. Sort of nutty.

I get about 10 - 12 oz of end product starting with 2c water. I put it in an old dish-washing-soap bottle and keep in the fridge for a couple weeks. I usually use it up before it goes bad, but it's so cheap to make I don't feel bad if I throw half a bottle away. You can keep the used seeds in the freezer (sandwich bag) and make two more batches with them, you just have to boil longer each time to extract the gel. Some people think it's kind of gross, as it is like snot in texture, but I rub it between my hands to emulsify before putting on my head and it's fine.

I really hope you don't chop ALL your hair, it's gorgeous! I have shaved my head to the skin probably twice in my life, and lots more times I have shaved it with the clippers using the 1/8 inch blade. It's great for the first few months (ZERO CARE!) but then it gets old having people stare at me when I enter a public restroom (thinking I am male, and I am not small chested) or pitying me thinking I had cancer. And it's darn cold in winter! Plus the growing out SUCKS. It has taken me three years to get to my avatar length.

[WaitingSoLong]

Oh dear, you sound very conflicted. Are you perhaps in a rut in some other part of your life, and taking it out on your hair?

From the sounds of things, I think perhaps a larger trim - a few inches perhaps - would be a good test. Then it would grow back quickly if you hated it, and give you some perspective on how attached you *really* are to your length. I.e if you cry for days, maybe no more trims, but if you feel lighter and freer then consider a few more inches.

But if your frustration is tied to something other than your hair - and this is only a guess, here - then chopping your hair, I am sorry to say, will probably not make you feel better (unless you chop it into something you *love*, and even then the happiness will be short-term, and the frustration with the other thing(s) will still be there).

Okay, I'mma stop the hijack now.

I usually don't quote entire posts, I like to edit for length but I totally agree with every word. This is why I have not acted. I have been wanting to shave my head for 2 years, really all my life, but the worst in the last 6 months or so. So I doubt it has any underlying issue, however, I think I have grown less tolerant of it lately because of all the stress I have been under in the last year. I am psycho-analytically minded so I always look for any underlying reasons. I also forbid myself to make any drastic changes when I am under duress or great stress in life, and the last year definitely qualifies. Things are looking better now, but the physical toll the stress took on me this past year is surprising and I am still dealing with the issues. SO....

My famous motto: When in doubt, don't.

Plus, I have cried over 4" several times in the past. I know regret 101.

I did discover something, actually 2 things that have staved off my shave-head desire: I put cones back in my hair routine (I only took them out because I was trying to do the healthy thing by my hair...never again) and I finally, after 35 years, learned to part my hair on the other side of my head against the natural lay. I am sure I don't look any different but when you are used to seeing the part on one side of your head all your life and it changes, to me I look completely different. It is just a little change that gives me a lazy versatility I need.