I quit (in a good way)

[Miss Catrina]

I'm in high school. You probably already know this, but for those of you mercifully done with it for your lifetime, let me tell you that high schoolers are not the most formal, primped bunch. Every day I'm surrounded by people in sweatpants, old t-shirts, etc - but more striking is what people do with their hair. I see the messiest piles and wads of hair in existence sitting two desks over - and they just don't care.

Ever since I started going to high school (junior year), my self-esteem for the day was directly linked to the appearance of my hair. Had my hair been long enough to pile and twist up in the first place, I couldn't have done it because I'd feel like an ugly slob. So every day, there I would be each morning spending fifteen hours (read: 20 minutes) frying my hair into the perfectly straight, perfectly symmetrical arrangement. Well let me tell you - it gets old. It gets old to spend that much time each morning on it, especially when you know it's slowly destroying the health of your hair. And then, I don't know if this is a result of my hair getting longer, or healthier, or more damaged, or WHAT - but it got harder to tame with an iron, anyway. And this plays a huge role in one of the fundamental truths of my life:

I feel better about myself if I look so-so when it's obvious I'm not really trying, than I do if I look pretty good minus oooonnne little thing when I'm clearly trying hard.

This is how one section of flat ironed hair pointing slightly the wrong way can start to ruin my day. It is also how I can go to the grocery store in paint stained sweatpants without a care, but I feel like shrinking into a corner if I have a small strain on my shirt.

So now - I'm done. Most of the people around me clearly don't care as much as I have in the past, so I'm done driving myself crazy trying to live a frizz-free, photoshop straight existence, absolutely obsessing over how thin my hair is when I see ponytails just as itty bitty as mine every day. From now on, it's a fluffy mane of frizzy bun waves or harmless ponytails for me. Me and my hair will be much happier if I chill out.
:cheese:

[MrsGuther]

Good for you!!! :)

[Malibu Barbie]

Good for you be yourself. When I was in high school I did my best to look as creepy as I could. I spent my time ratting my hair very big with strange colors. If you can remember the "Hunter" album by Blondie. This was my favorite hairstyle. Highschool is the time you start to discover yourself, we all do weird crazy unheathly things.

[Amraann]

Miss C!
Good for you!
I know that peer pressure is hard in school. I think that part of maturing and growing up is to learn to be happy with yourself and learn not to care what others think.

I am surprised that you say everyone wears sweat pants and grungy shirts. When I was in high school it was like a fashion show. I would have NEVER worn sweat pants to school.
I wore skirts and high heels almost daily. But then again I like to be dressed up.

[Lilli]

I have very fine hair, too, and grew it out from a short bob. It was so hard to break the flatironing addiction, b/c when it is short, you notice every little flip out of place. One day, when it was starting to brush my shoulders, I just had to stop cold-turkey and accept that it was going to bend and flip and I would get used to it. After not having heat on it for a month or so, it started to look better and more alive. Hair that is ironed into submission rarely looks as good as alive hair.

As for high school, when I was in high school, most girls had long hair that was turned under at the ends with some awful curled-under fringe. Only the "loose" girls did the messy pile-on-the-head thing. But I'm old.

[Miss Catrina]

Miss C!
Good for you!
I know that peer pressure is hard in school. I think that part of maturing and growing up is to learn to be happy with yourself and learn not to care what others think.

I am surprised that you say everyone wears sweat pants and grungy shirts. When I was in high school it was like a fashion show. I would have NEVER worn sweat pants to school.
I wore skirts and high heels almost daily. But then again I like to be dressed up.

Well, not EVERYONE. There are definitely people with perfectly coordinated jewelry and whatnot every day, and there are definitely a great deal of walking Hollister billboards - but I wouldn't say they outnumber the people in sweats, hoodies, and flip flops. There's really a remarkable variety in how people dress in my school (my dad comments on it the days he picks me up, between muttering about no one having enough manners to hustle a little when a car is clearly waiting for them to pass these days).

I'm just tired of driving myself nuts trying to meet a standard that isn't the norm in the first place. There is no norm!

[Miss Catrina]

I have very fine hair, too, and grew it out from a short bob. It was so hard to break the flatironing addiction, b/c when it is short, you notice every little flip out of place. One day, when it was starting to brush my shoulders, I just had to stop cold-turkey and accept that it was going to bend and flip and I would get used to it. After not having heat on it for a month or so, it started to look better and more alive. Hair that is ironed into submission rarely looks as good as alive hair.

As for high school, when I was in high school, most girls had long hair that was turned under at the ends with some awful curled-under fringe. Only the "loose" girls did the messy pile-on-the-head thing. But I'm old.

"Loose"! LOL. :D

You're definitely right about how hair looks when you stop ironing. It's a little hard to say what's causing it, because I've been trying a lot of different things with my washes lately, but my hair has been looking shinier and like the individual strands are thicker after a WEEK.

The only bad part is, my length update photos thusfar have been taken with straightened hair... If I take them of puffy hair from now on, it will look like it didn't grow for a few months!

[krissykins]

It's all a party from here on out ;) good for you, lady!

[kwaniesiam]

Good for you :)

I never understood why some girls would put obvious time in to doing their makeup but then come to school in sweats and their hair in a messy blob :rolleyes:

[spidermom]

Chilling out in this situation sounds very good indeed.

[Miss Catrina]

Good for you :)

I never understood why some girls would put obvious time in to doing their makeup but then come to school in sweats and their hair in a messy blob :rolleyes:

What I don't get is when girls wear sweatpants with UGG boots. Regardless of how you feel about UGGs - those are some wicked expensive shoes to wear with sweatpants!

[torrilin]

The only bad part is, my length update photos thusfar have been taken with straightened hair... If I take them of puffy hair from now on, it will look like it didn't grow for a few months!

Are you *sure* you are typed correctly?

Puffy is not a word I have ever associated with straight hair. Lank yes. Flat. But puffy? Nope.

And I can assure you that even now that I hit 1c level waves... no one would call my hair puffy. Or curly. Unless you really know what you're looking for, the giant S waves just look like the hair draping over my shoulder, or maybe having the kind of volume you see in pictures of hippie chicks from the 1970s. Basically, all it takes for me to have perfectly straight hair is a comb.

Pretty typical for fine hair and straight hair really. It's easy to go straighter, and it is basically impossible to add curl most of the time.

[Eire]

I always think it's funny when people are in sweats but with their hair carefully flat ironed to perfection (then placed in a ponytail to make it look like they didn't try) and their makeup done up like they're ready for Prom, complete with 6 layers of mascara. This is what springs to mind when you mention ugg boots and sweats.

[Miss Catrina]

Are you *sure* you are typed correctly?

Puffy is not a word I have ever associated with straight hair. Lank yes. Flat. But puffy? Nope.

And I can assure you that even now that I hit 1c level waves... no one would call my hair puffy. Or curly. Unless you really know what you're looking for, the giant S waves just look like the hair draping over my shoulder, or maybe having the kind of volume you see in pictures of hippie chicks from the 1970s. Basically, all it takes for me to have perfectly straight hair is a comb.

Pretty typical for fine hair and straight hair really. It's easy to go straighter, and it is basically impossible to add curl most of the time.

Oh - Well, as a night shower person, the only reason I really "needed" an iron was to control bed head. Now I've been going to bed with a bun, which makes what I can only call puff when I take it out the next morning. So really the "puff" is just as unnatural as ironing it - just less damaging and a lot less work.

[kwaniesiam]

Oh - Well, as a night shower person, the only reason I really "needed" an iron was to control bed head. Now I've been going to bed with a bun, which makes what I can only call puff when I take it out the next morning. So really the "puff" is just as unnatural as ironing it - just less damaging and a lot less work.

I was a night shower person throughout high school too and had to battle puffy bed head despite having relatively straight hair naturally. I would wet my hair down in the morning just enough so it would get rid of the puff and it would be dry by my morning class.

[elbow chic]

I always think it's funny when people are in sweats but with their hair carefully flat ironed to perfection (then placed in a ponytail to make it look like they didn't try) and their makeup done up like they're ready for Prom, complete with 6 layers of mascara. This is what springs to mind when you mention ugg boots and sweats.

ha! I've seen this exact look. Weird. I think it is an attempt to look low-maintenance and cool, but also perfect, like you plausibly could have rolled out of bed that way. I mean, teenagers have been doing that since at least the '80s, probably before. Old trick.

[racrane]

Oh, I can completely relate. I felt such immense pressure in high school to fit in. And in college, the sloppiness gets worse. People wear sweatpants, too, most of the time. Anyway, after one year of college, I've come into my own appearance wise. I know what I feel good in. I like long skirts, flats and blouses. I hate jeans and sweatshirts. And that's okay. I guess high school will pass, but know staying true to yourself no matter what is happening around you. I tried so hard to curl my hair every morning and was so sleep deprived I hated it. Never again!!! I let my hair do its thing and I feel so much happier.

[Mesmerise]

Oh - Well, as a night shower person, the only reason I really "needed" an iron was to control bed head. Now I've been going to bed with a bun, which makes what I can only call puff when I take it out the next morning. So really the "puff" is just as unnatural as ironing it - just less damaging and a lot less work.

Maybe spritz your hair with water in the morning to flatten the puffiness? That should help tame that bed head look!

And yeah, great idea to stop straightening your hair!! It's one of the most damaging things you can do to hair if you're doing it every day! (Not so bad if you do it infrequently, but I've decided to quit cold turkey :eek:).

[bellawave]

I envy you your high school! Back in the stone age at my high school, we were looked down upon if we didn't wear expensive designer jeans (preferably worn with high heels) and have meticulously curled and feathered hair done in just the right way. And preferably wearing lots of eye makeup done just the right way too. I am a t-shirt and sweats and no makeup person! :P And now I see girls walking to school wearing pajama bottoms! Ha ha, I would have loved to do that, back then! :D

[christine1989]

Good for you! I'm in the process of "chilling out" about my hair's appearence but I'm not quite at the level you are yet.

[torrilin]

Oh - Well, as a night shower person, the only reason I really "needed" an iron was to control bed head. Now I've been going to bed with a bun, which makes what I can only call puff when I take it out the next morning. So really the "puff" is just as unnatural as ironing it - just less damaging and a lot less work.

*peers at hair*

Nope, still not puffy. Hasn't been washed in about 3 days, and I've been mean to it and not even braided it for sleeping.

I reiterate... you *sure* you're a 1b?

If what you're calling puff is actually bun waves... just finger comb them out, maaaaybe with a smidge of oil on your palms. Or possibly a smidge of curl creme or leave in conditioner. Voila, curly hair. Rag curls and pin curls work on the same idea, but they make smaller curls. Our grandmothers would have called that a wet set.

Or just snarl and wear a bun to school. That's mostly what I did once my hair got long enough.

[Miss Catrina]

*peers at hair*

Nope, still not puffy. Hasn't been washed in about 3 days, and I've been mean to it and not even braided it for sleeping.

I reiterate... you *sure* you're a 1b?

If what you're calling puff is actually bun waves... just finger comb them out, maaaaybe with a smidge of oil on your palms. Or possibly a smidge of curl creme or leave in conditioner. Voila, curly hair. Rag curls and pin curls work on the same idea, but they make smaller curls. Our grandmothers would have called that a wet set.

Or just snarl and wear a bun to school. That's mostly what I did once my hair got long enough.

I'll take pictures of what I'm calling "puffy" and post them when I can. I really don't know if I'm typed correctly, though. *shrugs*

[Stub]

Good for you for having courage to do your own thing in high school!!

[pepperminttea]

Good for you! :D My high school was full of girls who you could be forgiven for thinking were photoshopped into looking perfect. I ended up taking a class in my last couple of years that turned out to be mostly populated by them, and overhearing what they go through every morning. Some of them were so obsessive about their appearance that they were driven to shave their arms. Their arms! I can't imagine all that stress. I'd never been more glad to be a non-make-up-wearing, hairy, large, bookish nerd in all my life. :p

[Lianna]

The only bad part is, my length update photos thusfar have been taken with straightened hair... If I take them of puffy hair from now on, it will look like it didn't grow for a few months!

Don't worry, all wavies and curlies understand! Not saying some straighties don't, but some get surprised when waves/curls eat up 1/3 or more of our length. Maybe you could take your "length shots" with damp hair, just to show growth, and regular dried hair to show us how pretty your hair look when dry. ;)

And straight hair can look poufy. Not all "bun waves" are easily finger combed out, even in straight hair. She might have straight hair, she might have wavy, just because her hair poufs out in some occasions doesn't mean she can't have straight hair. My mom has straight hair (1b/1c) and this happens with her.

[dawnss]

Good for you! Make sure that you keep that attitude up, me and plenty of the men and women here know how hard it is when you are trying to be yourself even when you get older. So good luck and now that you have your new found sense of freedom, have fun experimenting with hair styles and hair accessories.

[Delila]

Self acceptance is a good thing!! When I was in high school, the fashion seemed to be a sort of disco-hooker chic, with feathered hair, high heels, lots of eye shadow and mascara, with contouring brownish blushers. Shudder.

All the time I spent trying to force my hair into a style it's not capable of achieving was a bust, since the slightest bit of humidity brings out the waves.

I remember struggling to style my hair when I was younger, such frustration.

The main thing that helped me was learning that my hair is actually wavy. It flattens out in a weirdly swoopy way if I blow dry it, but it's never been actually straight. Somehow I didn't clue into this 'I have wavy hair' thing until I was in my mid thirties. Sounds dumb, but honestly, when I blowdried my hair, it never seemed curly to me. My hair also has nothing in the way of natural body, so I think that added to my ignorance.

Kind of makes me angry in retrospect, to remember that the only times back then that I was happy with my hair was when I was growing out a perm, and not blowdrying my hair. Somehow I never clued in to the fact that my waves prefer not being blowdried. Sigh.

Have you done the 'let your hair dry undisturbed and take a picture' thing yet? Even if you don't want to post it online, it might help you figure out how much wave you have (or don't).

[Anywhere]

I'm one of those lazy people, but my hair is in a lazy wrap bun. I figure, its just school, I hate most of the people there, why bother looking perfect for them? :shrug:

[Firefox7275]

You should be proud of yourself, Miss Catrina because you are ten, twenty, thirty years ahead in thinking compared to many women. :D If you want straight hair for a length shot you might try to learn wrapping or as others have said, just like photographs when damp from now on?

[Miss Catrina]

You should be proud of yourself, Miss Catrina because you are ten, twenty, thirty years ahead in thinking compared to many women. :D If you want straight hair for a length shot you might try to learn wrapping or as others have said, just like photographs when damp from now on?

Thank you! My attempts at wrapping thusfar have mainly ended in a hair-hating rage, though.

[Mesmerise]

Thank you! My attempts at wrapping thusfar have mainly ended in a hair-hating rage, though.

I am getting quite good at wrapping! It's just the back I find tricky. However tbh, it probably works better on me than you cause my hair's naturally curlier, and thus if it ends up looking 1b/1c at the end of the wrap I'm fairly happy :D it's not as good as using a straightener, but waaaaay better for my hair!

However for dead straight hair I don't know if it would work. Has ANYONE figured out how to get dead straight hair from a wrap?? To me, just curving it around your head is going to give it some "body". And my hair at the back... well... that just doesn't wrap around properly anyway! I have to use a special technique lol.

[sweetestpoison]

Congratulations!!! I can't tell you how happy i was with my results when i did the same thing! Your hair will feel better, but more importantly, you will feel better. And remember that if somebody says something bad about your hair, there are at least 13 other people with good things to say about it. Life's too short to stress about the little things, hope you are happy with your results and happy growing! :)

[IcarusBride]

I was very worried, I thought you were going to say you quit high school! I'm very happy for you with the decision you made, though!

[Miss Catrina]

Alright, since there was some question regarding my hair type, here is my hair post-shower, uncombed, undisturbed.

http://i56.tinypic.com/qxjggy.jpg

And once I brushed it out (NEVER AGAIN. wet detangling is definitely the way to go for me):

http://i53.tinypic.com/2rm1m36.jpg

Thoughts?

[Sundial]

Oh! Mine started out like yours too :) But the good news is that the hair seems to start straightening out with length. It could be the weight of the hair pulling it straight as it gets longer. So if you can just bear with this growing out period, quitting the straightener shouldn't be a problem :thumbsup:

[Lianna]

Looks 1c/2a to me, but it will look much straighter as it grows, I think. The brushed out looks 1b to me. You don't need to straighten your hair.

[rena]

...You call that puffy???

[MeganE]

So now - I'm done. Most of the people around me clearly don't care as much as I have in the past, so I'm done driving myself crazy trying to live a frizz-free, photoshop straight existence, absolutely obsessing over how thin my hair is when I see ponytails just as itty bitty as mine every day. From now on, it's a fluffy mane of frizzy bun waves or harmless ponytails for me. Me and my hair will be much happier if I chill out.
:cheese:

Ahaha, the last sentence really made me laugh. Good for you! It is such a relief to finally be free of that self-consciousness that fuels the obsession over the appearance. Granted, it hasn't completely gone away, which is probably a good thing, but man... I can relate. It's way better to be perfectly capable of and comfortable while just looking like yourself. :D

[Avital88]

You are saying that thing about the lenght updates,but believe me,your hair will def grow faster now you stopped torturing it! Good decision you've made and happy growing,its easier to grow to waist with less heat damage after all.

Oh and your hair poofy!? If thats poofy then whats mine? Exploded would be the right word then,your hair looks perfectly fine dont be too hard on yourself!

[krissykins]

The wrapping might be a bit of trouble because your hair is used to being beaten into submission :p maybe try some deep oiling or an SMT then try wrapping again in a few months when your hair is not going through withdrawals.

Out of curiousity--what is your routine?

Your hair does look 1c/2a before being brushed out. :flower:

[Mesmerise]

Hmm I'd be leaning towards 1c for your hair too, rather than 1b, as those waves just look a little more wavy than 1b...

I don't know if I'd go to 2a, as I'm 2a (at least as diagnosed on the forum lol) and I definitely have a lot more wave/curl in mine.

[caiti42]

Alright, since there was some question regarding my hair type, here is my hair post-shower, uncombed, undisturbed.

http://i56.tinypic.com/qxjggy.jpg

And once I brushed it out (NEVER AGAIN. wet detangling is definitely the way to go for me):

http://i53.tinypic.com/2rm1m36.jpg

Thoughts?


My gosh I think I found my hair twin!

[torrilin]

Not 1a.

It looks like you have one wave starting above your ears, and a second wave that isn't quite complete at shoulder level. That is a pretty loose wave pattern, so if it stays consistent as you cut out the straightener and start treating your hair better, I'd say that puts you around 1c. There's no way you're ever going to meet the 1b guideline of "no more than 1 or 2 body waves", because a lot of 1b hair might not even start showing wave until around the shoulders or APL. So that leaves 1c. For now.

If your wave level increases as you care for your hair better, you might possibly edge into being a 2. Damaged hair may well appear less curly than it really is, and dry hair often appears less curly than it really is.

[vlhxo]

Good for you! In high school I was one of those girls who always made sure to have perfectly straight hair and full makeup for any and all occasions. Then I started college and realized nobody cared. I gave up regular straightening 4 months ago and my hair has never been healthier than it is now. It's so liberating to let my hair do whatever it wants instead of flat ironing it into submission.

[Lianna]

Not 1a.
(...)
If your wave level increases as you care for your hair better, you might possibly edge into being a 2. Damaged hair may well appear less curly than it really is, and dry hair often appears less curly than it really is.


She never said she was 1a. Damaged hair can appear curlier than it is too, it goes both ways. Her hair looks quite nice, smooth and shiny to me though.

[alwayssmiling]

Well done you. I've quit lots of things too. Doesn't it get easier as our hair gets longer. I haven't come close to straightening for some time and the blow dryer is just for special occassions. Everyday I'm just going to let my hair hang loose and free and not worry about it looking "styled". The next thing is for me to stop wearing so much make up shudder:

[breeanna92]

Good for you!! lol!! this is soo true about highschoolers !!:D

[Miss Catrina]

Haha, no, this isn't what I mean by "puffy". I'll take a picture of what happens when I sleep in a bun and post it shortly - THAT is what I mean by "puffy", but so far I don't have any pictures of it, really.

I'm getting really confused about my hair type. o_o I guess I'll change it to 1c....?

ETA: Oh! Someone asked about my routine. Well, my routine is in major flux lately. I am one of the very few daily washers here (anything else just drives me nuts), which lately means either baking soda and vinegar or CWC with sulfate-free shampoo but coney conditioners. I'm yet to determine whether one is better than the other.

[HintOfMint]

Good for you! I wish I could do that (in more than one aspect of my life)

[gthlvrmx]

Good for you and amen to that! High school is full of insecure teenagers, and i vow to try my best to be myself!
You'll be surprised how many others will catch on when you are very comfortable and happy with yourself ;)

[JamieLeigh]

That's excellent! Nobody should feel that they have to do themselves up for anyone else. :cheer:

I've been out of high school for thirteen years this spring (thankfully! lol), but my experience back then was...for the most part, people really don't care much about what you look like, they care more about what you think THEY look like. And if they think you don't like them, or something about them, THAT is when they start trying to run you down. :p

Unless you are so off-the-chart with your look, that people can't help but notice you. As the token goth chick back in the day, let's just say that what I underlined up there did not apply to me. People either loved my look or hated it, there was no in-between. ;)