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View Full Version : Why do many woman cut their hair short after getting married?



Dragon
April 5th, 2011, 01:57 AM
I have noticed a lot of women cut there hair short after getting married.

JamieLeigh
April 5th, 2011, 02:01 AM
Maybe they feel like "I've already got my man, who do I need to show off for now?" Or, maybe their husbands like it shorter? Or even...maybe it gets in the way of regular bedroom activity in a way. ;)

I haven't really noticed it as much for marrying women as I have for those who are new mothers. Somehow they think that dealing with hair is too much when dealing with a baby too. (I've got 5 little kids, and my hair has been hip-length and below just about the whole time...and most of this was BEFORE joining LHC and finding cool updos. So I beg to differ. :p)

Eolan
April 5th, 2011, 02:05 AM
Maybe it depends on age and/or where you're at. I have not noticed such a trend here.

Sundial
April 5th, 2011, 02:09 AM
I'm one of those guilty of that :o

For me, it was mainly because I have had short hair (varies from chin to shoulder) all of my life and I only grew it out for the wedding. I wasn't mentally prepared to take care of all that hair after the wedding so I chopped it off.

But I missed my long hair after a year of the chop and I came to realize that long hair might be more suitable for me, so I started grewing it out again after I stopped working when I can devote more time to 'hair stuff'.

MonaLisa
April 5th, 2011, 02:10 AM
Why do men grow belly? :P

No, i don't really like to generalize, but perhaps people get more lazy/relaxed?
Or it is about new chapter in life, and change follows?

And about pregnancy, in some books I have read, there was advice on cutting hair shorter as it will lose its quality and shed :confused:

I'm neither married nor have a baby yet, so don't scare me!:rolleyes:

JamieLeigh
April 5th, 2011, 02:16 AM
And about pregnancy, in some books I have read, there was advice on cutting hair shorter as it will lose its quality and shed :confused:

I'm neither married nor have a baby yet, so don't scare me!:rolleyes:

When you're pregnant, the hormone that controls the shedding part of the hair follicle cycle is dormant, so you're losing more hair afterward, because it's catching up. All the hair you would've shed normally comes out at once, afterward. :p Never fret...I know plenty of long-haired married and unmarried moms...not to mention, I'm married with 5 kids, and I have yet to cut my hair short.

Marianne
April 5th, 2011, 02:17 AM
I only grew it out for the wedding.

It's not a trend I've noticed personally, but I think this could account for a lot of it, as women growing out their hair for their wedding IS something I see a lot of. Those women cutting their hair after marriage could just be reverting back to their usual style?

leslissocool
April 5th, 2011, 02:18 AM
Why do men grow belly? :P

No, i don't really like to generalize, but perhaps people get more lazy/relaxed?
Or it is about new chapter in life, and change follows?

And about pregnancy, in some books I have read, there was advice on cutting hair shorter as it will lose its quality and shed :confused:

I'm neither married nor have a baby yet, so don't scare me!:rolleyes:

My doctor told me otherwise!!! I had alopecia during pregnancy, and he told me not to cut my hair because shorter hair, when shedding after breastfeeding, could get EVERYWHERE and get wrapped around the baby's fingers. I kept my hair up and the shedding was so easy to control I had no issues with it falling everywhere while other friends who did cut their hair had them all over their clothes, since they wore their hair down.

Also as mentioned in another thread, a close friend told me not to do anything to my hair while being hormonal. She cut her long hair super short during pregnancy and totally regretted it after her hormones got stable.

MonaLisa
April 5th, 2011, 02:24 AM
JamieLeigh that is so comforting! and a way to go! :o

Also Leslissocool that really makes sense! If hair will shed it don't metter if it's short or long, and yes women go wicked when hormonal:p

Compliments to both of you! such beautiful hair!

pepperminttea
April 5th, 2011, 02:47 AM
It's not a trend I've noticed personally, but I think this could account for a lot of it, as women growing out their hair for their wedding IS something I see a lot of. Those women cutting their hair after marriage could just be reverting back to their usual style?

Agreed. Growing it out specifically for the wedding, and then chopping it 'back to normal' afterwards, seems to be quite common. Always struck me as a bit strange; why would you want to look not like yourself on your wedding day? :hmm:

Nae
April 5th, 2011, 03:26 AM
I am also going to agree with the whole, "growing it out for the wedding" thing. Which is kinda weird to me but as long as they are happy I am good.

ilovelonghair
April 5th, 2011, 03:53 AM
I noticed it years ago, but times have changed, it wasn't just with being married or having a baby, but it seemed after 30 people cut it off, men as well, but nowadays you still see that, they (men) think they are 'too old' for long hair, or needing to conform :(

Still you see woman today who have a baby cutting their hair off. Although less and less.

Firefox7275
April 5th, 2011, 04:15 AM
Agreed. Growing it out specifically for the wedding, and then chopping it 'back to normal' afterwards, seems to be quite common. Always struck me as a bit strange; why would you want to look not like yourself on your wedding day? :hmm:

Same reason many Western brides wear an ivory gown and not blue jeans, full face make-up when they usually stick to mascara, weigh a stone less than when they met their beloved. If brides spent as much time on their appearance on a daily basis as they did on their wedding day they'd have to quit work or sleep. :p

julliams
April 5th, 2011, 04:56 AM
My doctor told me otherwise!!! I had alopecia during pregnancy, and he told me not to cut my hair because shorter hair, when shedding after breastfeeding, could get EVERYWHERE and get wrapped around the baby's fingers.

I have never found my hair wrapped around any of my children's fingers, but my puppy did have a bone that she swallowed and was almost going to have to have surgery because of it. In the end we waited to see if she would pass it and when it did finally appear in her poop, it was all wrapped up in my hair - which was a good thing because it covered the sharp edges and made for smooth passing.

Mesmerise
April 5th, 2011, 05:34 AM
I have never found my hair wrapped around any of my children's fingers, but my puppy did have a bone that she swallowed and was almost going to have to have surgery because of it. In the end we waited to see if she would pass it and when it did finally appear in her poop, it was all wrapped up in my hair - which was a good thing because it covered the sharp edges and made for smooth passing.

I had never heard of hair wrapping around fingers as a risk, BUT I did find one wrapped around my baby's toe once...it was really cutting into it too! I felt sooo bad afterwards... But meh...It would have happened no matter how long the hair was (and my hair was reasonably long after having each of my kids).

I did, however, cut several inches off after each baby because my hair became stringy after shedding too much :rolleyes:.

Phexlyn
April 5th, 2011, 06:03 AM
It's not a trend I've noticed personally, but I think this could account for a lot of it, as women growing out their hair for their wedding IS something I see a lot of. Those women cutting their hair after marriage could just be reverting back to their usual style?
This. I think it's a strange thing to do, I mean, if looks are important then your future husband proposed while you had short hair anyway... :rolleyes: Maybe it's just this "princess image" they're trying to get for their special day? I sometimes think all this extra specialness is a bit overrated [I'd kick myself in the butt if I had spent tens of thousands on the wedding and the marriage wouldn't last, but maybe that's just me]


Same reason many Western brides wear an ivory gown and not blue jeans, full face make-up when they usually stick to mascara, weigh a stone less than when they met their beloved. If brides spent as much time on their appearance on a daily basis as they did on their wedding day they'd have to quit work or sleep. :p
So true, but there are enough brides out there who go easy on the make up and hair. And I understand that you would want to have professional make up that's suitable for taking photos because that's just different from what you do to your face on a daily basis, even if you wear roughly the same make up.

kwaniesiam
April 5th, 2011, 06:23 AM
As far as brides growing their hair out specifically for the wedding, I think its because the updo and style options are far less limited with longer hair. There are extensions, but working an updo with a head full of extensions is really hard and doesn't usually come out looking natural. The tracks get in the way.

littlenvy
April 5th, 2011, 07:57 AM
I don't know why its done now, but in the older days (from what my grandmother told me) women cut their hair after the wedding because long hair was considered part of childhood and youth. Once you got married (and I'm talking about young girls in those days) you became a woman. It was symbolic.
It also made you look older.
Also, on the practical side, once you were married you had your own household to run and more than yourself to take care of, so you didn't have time to spend on your long hair.
So maybe its a tradition that stuck around without anyone knowing why or without being needed?

knoxkatie
April 5th, 2011, 08:07 AM
I don't know if this is common, but I have friends who cut their hair short to look older after getting married. They were in their early 20s at the time. So maybe having shorter hair makes some people feel more like an "adult"?

GlassWidow
April 5th, 2011, 09:40 AM
why would you want to look not like yourself on your wedding day? :hmm:

I'm not arguing with you, pepperminttea, but this is my observation - There's a billion dollar industry around not looking like yourself on your wedding day! Not all girls, but a lot of girls start planning their ideal wedding before they've even hit puberty; I'm sure there are many little girls who dream of being Kate Middleton someday.

The dress, the undergarments to make the dress look spectacular, the gym membership to fit into said undergarments and dress, the hair, the makeup, and so on and so forth...it's a lot of work to be a gorgeous bride, and it's a lot of work to plan a wedding. I suspect that once the big day rolls around, a stereotypical bride is ready to be "average" again.

When I got married, hair extensions weren't as popular (or "nice") as they are now. Personally, I've seen a lot more women get extensions than grow their own hair. It's about being able to do romantic updos, I think, regardless of how your hair normally looks.

pepperminttea
April 5th, 2011, 09:56 AM
I'm aware there's a whole industry built up around the idea, and goodness knows the money it makes must be huge, but it does seem a little sad to take the idea of a wedding, and all the love around it, and then make it about looking like a completely different person to the one the groom proposed to.

Maybe it's just me though; I haven't gotten married, and I wasn't the kind of child who dreamed of their wedding day and all the paraphernalia that goes with them (big white dresses, etc.). I don't aspire to have a big wedding, kind of the opposite really. I just want to be with someone and be happy together. :shrug:

elbow chic
April 5th, 2011, 10:10 AM
ha, yeah, I pretty much agree with Firefox.

I have not noticed this phenomenon myself-- a serious haircut in my social circles often seems to immediately follow or precede the breakup of a long-term relationship.

Woman in her thirties or forties cuts her hair and loses thirty pounds; the silly man somehow never sees the boom coming down. :D

Anyway, I don't think the brides are losing weight and getting tans and growing out their hair specifically for their grooms... they are doing it for the sake of the pictures, which will freeze that moment for (hopefully) decades to come.

I was twelve weeks pregnant with a pixie cut in my wedding photos. :p The pics are cute but not very glamorous.

Merewen
April 5th, 2011, 10:58 AM
There are a lot of societal expectations surrounding weddings, even if one was not the kind of person who planned their wedding in detail at the age of thirteen. (Lord knows I wasn't.) The idea is that it is YOUR SPECIAL DAY and you are going to be SO BEAUTIFUL and everything has to be EXACTLY PERFECT. You can't avoid at least some of this if you are going to plan anything resembling a "traditional" wedding ceremony. And in many many cases, such a "traditional" ceremony is expected.

Thus, the growing of the hair, the losing of the weight, the big poofy dresses, and the makeup. These things go from extreme "OMG MUST BE PRINCESS PERFECT" to "this is a special day and I would like to dress up for it". But the pressure is there to do it regardless. It would take TONS of guts for most people I know to walk down the aisle in a pair of jeans. Weddings tend to have a lot more pressure on them than other events. Just trying to make the guest list out to make everyone happy was a nightmare in my case, and there is not much drama in my family/friend group. So maybe we can let the brides catch a break here.



On that note, I'd suspect a mix between the growing the hair out just for the wedding (as I have seen others do that) and the desire to look older. I wonder how many people thought I was growing my hair for my wedding. But no, it will just keep growing and growing! YEEEAH!

alyanna
April 5th, 2011, 12:51 PM
Well I was a totally nonchalant bride! I let my husband's family choose the wedding location and venue and I didn't see it until it was already booked. I wore my hair completely back. My dress was gorgeous though and so was my make-up. Now that I look back I'm like why wasn't it more 'into' my wedding?

Personally speaking, I cut my hair after my first child because my body was all different, and with the maternity tops and not being able to wear my usual clothes, I just felt like my hair looked unkept. I got a medium shag then a short bob, lots of blonde highlights. Blowdried after every wash and wore my hair smooth and 'done'. Now that I've lost the weight and feeling like myself again, I want my flowing, hippie hair back!

MaryRose
April 5th, 2011, 03:01 PM
I never thought about it before but looking back, I cut my hair from shoulder length (due to Navy Regulation) to a pixie cut. I was married for about 3 months and newly pregnant. I am not sure why I cut it, I guess I was going for a different look. It grew back very fast because of the pregnancy and the extra vitamins.

terpentyna
April 5th, 2011, 03:07 PM
Well, it seems to me that women cut off their hair because the responsibilities don't allow her to fuss over it. I believe it has much to do with motherhood and just being "comfortable".

My mother had waist length hair since childhood and cut it off for good (boy short) pretty much after the pregnancy, but her first cut was to shoulder level during senior year. She said it was because she felt like people always told her how to wear it (to wear it long), if not her parents then her friends then her partner and so on.

It generally interests me how hair seems to express control, or lack thereof.

princessp
April 5th, 2011, 03:48 PM
I haven't noticed this all. I have noticed it happens when women have babies though. I did the opposite and cut my hair for my wedding. I went from waist to about BSL, I guess it was still considered long by most (but not by me).

Pixna
April 5th, 2011, 03:58 PM
I was the opposite. I had a buzz cut when I got married (long before it was popular), and I let it grow afterward. Go figure, eh? :p

lillylonghair
April 5th, 2011, 04:05 PM
Almost every girl I know who has gotten married and had a baby cut her hair off! I actually started growing mine while I was pregnant and found it much easier to make it look decent even when I had zero time while my baby was a newborn.

I have also lost over 100lbs and have had my friends urge me to cut but long hair is now part of who I am and ''styled do'' just wouldn't suit me anymore.

lillylonghair
April 5th, 2011, 04:08 PM
ha, yeah, I pretty much agree with Firefox.

I have not noticed this phenomenon myself-- a serious haircut in my social circles often seems to immediately follow or precede the breakup of a long-term relationship.

Woman in her thirties or forties cuts her hair and loses thirty pounds; the silly man somehow never sees the boom coming down. :D

Anyway, I don't think the brides are losing weight and getting tans and growing out their hair specifically for their grooms... they are doing it for the sake of the pictures, which will freeze that moment for (hopefully) decades to come.

I was twelve weeks pregnant with a pixie cut in my wedding photos. :p The pics are cute but not very glamorous.


I hate the idea that you have to be ''glamorous'' or something youre not on your wedding. My husband and I had 2 weeks to plan a wedding before he deployed. We got married by a judge and had a lovely dinner with our family at a nice restaurant. I did my hair and makeup myself and wore a nice,inexpensive dress. I wouldn't change a thing!

Angeletti
April 5th, 2011, 05:21 PM
I guess I'm the oddball that decided to stop cutting my hair after I got married : )

telegraph64
April 5th, 2011, 05:26 PM
A wedding, should be a time of showcasing who you truly are. If who you truly are, is glamorous, than so be you, if who you truly are, is calm, laid back, and casual, that so be you.
A wedding is a token of true love, or so in my eyes it should be, and the people getting married are themselves, and that is why they are getting married.
On my wedding day, I was very glamorous, and so was he, because we simply like it that way, and we still are, there is no cut off age for it in my eyes. There is no "cut off" age for my hair length either.

I just simply be! :D

Becky Safari
April 5th, 2011, 05:27 PM
Maybe because it's a new beginning? A lot of people I know like to do something to their hair after a milestone

spidermom
April 5th, 2011, 05:37 PM
I've personally known several women who grew their hair out for the wedding so they would have pretty up-do options, then went back to hair cuts after the wedding. I've had mostly short to mid-length hair since my wedding until the last 10 years. I hated long hair with babies because they were always grabbing it, and I wasn't capable of securing my hair out of the way in the middle of the night on my way to a crying baby who sometimes had a runny nose or had vomited or ........ Bleh. I didn't want that stuff in my hair.

selderon
April 5th, 2011, 06:04 PM
I grew my hair a few inches longer for the wedding to get rid of my bangs (which I didn't love) and so an updo would be easier. At that time in my life I often craved a change and my hair was the easiest and least expensive thing to change. After a couple years of marriage, I chose to cut my hair shorter to look older. I found that people took me more seriously at work.

Now that I'm over 30 and I'm more comfortable in my skin, I don't have trouble with people thinking I'm 16. I'm growing my hair longer partly for the challenge, partly for my DH, partly for the experience of being more girly with long hair (I was such a tomboy as a teenager!)...

jaine
April 5th, 2011, 06:23 PM
This whole discussion reminds me why I want to elope if I ever get married! Zero planning would be just about awesome.

I like the wedding in Braveheart.

firefly42
April 5th, 2011, 07:06 PM
I got married last october, and for the first time I don't have the urge to cut my hair! DH and i long distance dated while he was in school and i got bored and cut my hair while he was gone...I'm finally at BSL and i'm really excited!

Laurenji
April 5th, 2011, 07:08 PM
I know a lot of girls who grew out their hair for the wedding and cut it short again afterwards. As for me, I was already growing my hair out thanks to LHC, so I didn't get it cut afterwards because I wasn't only growing it out for the wedding.

AnqeIicDemise
April 5th, 2011, 07:45 PM
It could also be a religious practice? O.o; Or maybe they figured that's how its done?

I mean, people do a lot of things for societal reasons whether they make sense or not. We often go with the flow of things because it is easy and in our nature. I mean. Really. How many of US (as an example) wash dishes in the same way our mothers did because that's what we have come to think is right?

I mean, think about it...

As a newly wed, I found myself having an argument with my DH over something so asinine as dishes -- and I couldn't help but laugh when I caught it because Mother had warned me about it.

See, he was putting dishes in the drying rack glasses and mugs first, then dishes, THEN bowls.

I was raised doing them 'dishes first, then bowls, then glasses, lastly mugs' and figured 'everybody does that!'

So by that train of thought-- maybe their mom's cut off their hair after marriage because their moms did it because THEIR moms did it and no one has bothered to ask 'why?'

jaine
April 5th, 2011, 08:12 PM
It could also be a religious practice? O.o; Or maybe they figured that's how its done?

I mean, people do a lot of things for societal reasons whether they make sense or not. We often go with the flow of things because it is easy and in our nature. I mean. Really. How many of US (as an example) wash dishes in the same way our mothers did because that's what we have come to think is right?

I mean, think about it...

As a newly wed, I found myself having an argument with my DH over something so asinine as dishes -- and I couldn't help but laugh when I caught it because Mother had warned me about it.

See, he was putting dishes in the drying rack glasses and mugs first, then dishes, THEN bowls.

I was raised doing them 'dishes first, then bowls, then glasses, lastly mugs' and figured 'everybody does that!'

So by that train of thought-- maybe their mom's cut off their hair after marriage because their moms did it because THEIR moms did it and no one has bothered to ask 'why?'

<hijack>
Hey, at least he's doing the dishes, right? :) Some people wouldn't!

I've never heard of having a special order of putting the dishes into the dishwasher. I'm curious to find out why it matters?
</hijack>

AnqeIicDemise
April 5th, 2011, 08:28 PM
<hijack>
Hey, at least he's doing the dishes, right? :) Some people wouldn't!

I've never heard of having a special order of putting the dishes into the dishwasher. I'm curious to find out why it matters?
</hijack>

Growing up, my family had a very efficient dishwasher: Mom&me.

I didn't know how to USE a dishwasher until DH and I moved in together. And the reason why my mother had taught me to do 'dishes, bowls, glasses and cups' in that order was

a) I could systematically separate do the dishes quickly. I would separate the food ware of like-items. I would start soaping up the bowls and dishes until each one was sudsy, THEN I rinsed them off. (we only had one sink for years, when we finally had a double sink, I always filled one up with clean water just to dunk and rinse.)

b)Dishes went in first to use up least available space, followed by bowls.

This would leave me with a clean sink to then put in the glasses and cups while I soaped them up then rinse them off right away.

C) Glasses were put in the basket in first for the same reason dishes went in: use least available space. Cups would go in next because of the handles. I learned to put handles facing in to use least space as well.

Any left over cups would be then hung on the little basket (ours had a pattern of

TiTiTiTiTiT, so I'd hang the cups upside down on the i's to drain. Silverware went in last just because they often had their own little basket in the dish basket/drying rack and if push came to shove, I could slip them onto a clean cup to drain.

Yeah, the newest dishwasher model became ME when mom decided I was old enough to handle it myself.

-shrug-

Momma has OCD and so do I. We like to be efficient in how much workable space we can cram out of a situation. LOL

As far as DH was concerned, it was the other way around.. When I asked why, he said because it didn't really matter in which order anything went, except cups went in first because when he was little, he liked drying them off for his mom. And that was his job as a kid; he'd be the dish dryer. The idea of using a rack to dry dishes was completely foreign to him too.

ilovelonghair
April 5th, 2011, 09:22 PM
Maybe it's just this "princess image" they're trying to get for their special day? I sometimes think all this extra specialness is a bit overrated

Yes it probably is, it put a lot of pressure on people. But I think, why need to look special only on your wedding day if you can look like that also for other events. Or (I am vain) why not look good everyday (not in wedding dresses haha), it makes me feel good to take care of myself :) I put nicer make-up on on a daily basis now than I had at my wedding day (that was pretty boring I must say)


[I'd kick myself in the butt if I had spent tens of thousands on the wedding and the marriage wouldn't last, but maybe that's just me]

Uh, yes... happened to me and now I have this wedding dress I have no idea what to do with, got to sell the thing when I have time. Lucky my parents didn't spend too much money on the wedding, but I feel guilty for it.


I don't know why its done now, but in the older days (from what my grandmother told me) women cut their hair after the wedding because long hair was considered part of childhood and youth. Once you got married (and I'm talking about young girls in those days) you became a woman. It was symbolic.
It also made you look older.
Also, on the practical side, once you were married you had your own household to run and more than yourself to take care of, so you didn't have time to spend on your long hair.
So maybe its a tradition that stuck around without anyone knowing why or without being needed?

If you go back in time a 100 years ago, no one cut their hair off after marriage but put it up. Hair being up is much more practical than short hair that gets in your eyes all the time (unless buzzed off). I hated that about short hair.



The dress, the undergarments to make the dress look spectacular, the gym membership to fit into said undergarments and dress, the hair, the makeup, and so on and so forth...it's a lot of work to be a gorgeous bride, and it's a lot of work to plan a wedding. I suspect that once the big day rolls around, a stereotypical bride is ready to be "average" again. .

I notice that a lot that women feel the need to get fit and loose weight, the grooms often look like they don't :(. But staying fit after the wedding is healthy :)

The whole million dollar business of bridal stuff irks me, why should it be all so expensive? I was shocked at the prices of wedding dresses, I had set a maximum price, but that was WAY TOO LOW! If you know the prices of those dresses in some other countries you wonder why they are so expensive.
I had two wedding dresses, I should have stuck with one, because it was quite a waste to only wear it for a part of the day. The other one was cheap though, but looked great.

lillylonghair
April 5th, 2011, 09:33 PM
I guess I'm the oddball that decided to stop cutting my hair after I got married : )


Nope! You're not alone.:)

BeatlesFanGirl
April 6th, 2011, 01:37 PM
I'm not married, but I wont cut my hair if I get married. I wont have a usual wedding either. I dont like to do what other people do. :D

Messyhair
April 6th, 2011, 02:07 PM
The women that I know who have cut off their hair after marrying were shorthairs before they grew it out for the wedding. For some reason, they think that the wedding day requires an updo, and the life after does not. :p

glasslady
April 6th, 2011, 02:39 PM
Hi I'm new here but IM0 it's because they think it's easier to care for. For me, I think long hair is so much easier. I wear it down most of the time but if It needs to be done, I wear it in a knot at the nape of my neck. (my hair is about to my bra line right now, although I'm trying to grow it to my waist. I'm not sure it's possible at my age.(I'm 69) But it's in great condition so maybe I can.
Glad I found this site:)
Glasslady

Pixna
April 6th, 2011, 02:55 PM
Hi I'm new here but IM0 it's because they think it's easier to care for. For me, I think long hair is so much easier. I wear it down most of the time but if It needs to be done, I wear it in a knot at the nape of my neck. (my hair is about to my bra line right now, although I'm trying to grow it to my waist. I'm not sure it's possible at my age.(I'm 69) But it's in great condition so maybe I can.
Glad I found this site:)

Glasslady

Hi, Glasslady! Welcome to LHC! It's wonderful to have more of us "older" women here (I'm 57). If your hair is in great condition, I don't see why you can't grow it as long as you like. I'm so glad you are joining us! :)

islandboo
April 6th, 2011, 03:35 PM
I am one of those that cut their hair after the wedding. I have had long hair for most of my life and wanted to get married with what I knew and was comfortable in (my ceremony was very low key: a little gazebo in the rainforest in Hawai'i with about 10 guests). However, I had also been wanting to donate to Locks for Love and it seemed a romantic gesture to do it on my honeymoon. I was very fortunate in that the fellow who cut and colored my hair was amazing and did a fabulous job. I had lowlights and highlights and the cut worked with my painfully thin, flat, straight hair but I got tired of the upkeep and started growing it back out about 2 years later. Haven't looked back since, lol.

hina87
April 10th, 2011, 08:41 AM
yes, i agree..women either cut their hair off after marriage due to the difficulty of taking care of it, as well as marriage comes with added responsibilities. I'm not married though, i have observed my sister getting married, she used to be obsessed with taking care of hair, (she already had long hair) but soon after her marriage-i've seen her hair is lifeless-it is still long but it does not have any life that she might as well chop it off. Anyways, just an observation (who am i to tell her to chop of her hair...:rolleyes:)

mrs_coffee
April 10th, 2011, 08:59 AM
For me, it was mainly because I have had short hair (varies from chin to shoulder) all of my life and I only grew it out for the wedding. I wasn't mentally prepared to take care of all that hair after the wedding so I chopped it off.

This is why I cut mine too. I only grew it out for the updo I wore for the wedding. I've never had any real attachment to my hair, so I didn't think twice about cutting it off.

irishlady
April 10th, 2011, 09:27 AM
Well I'm engaged, not married, and I don't want kids, but my hair has nothing to do with whether I'm married or not, I refuse to cut it short, so it's going to stay long whether I'm married or not :)

Maybe some women just give up on their hair because they're comfortable and don't feel like they have to impress anyone anymore? I don't know...

Lostsoule77
April 10th, 2011, 06:45 PM
I've never noticed this, but cutting it because they only grew it long for the wedding style makes a lot of sense.
I'm having the opposite problem. I usually wear my hair up so for special occasions I like to wear my hair down. I was planning on doing a half up for my wedding (in September) so that I could have some length down and have something a little styled as well. After I bought my dress it's so pretty and I LOVE the back, so I don't want to cover any of it. I'm gonna either have to find an updo that I love or cut my hair to bsl to not cover the dress. :( I'm gonna post a thread about that when I get closer to needing to decide. :)

BeatlesFanGirl
April 17th, 2011, 05:01 AM
Well I'm engaged, not married, and I don't want kids, but my hair has nothing to do with whether I'm married or not, I refuse to cut it short, so it's going to stay long whether I'm married or not :)

Same here!! :) I'm childfree by choice (never really wanted kids) too, and I'm gonna keep my hair long whether I'm married or not. :)

lapushka
April 17th, 2011, 08:41 AM
Haven't noticed this either. :shrug:

Some of the women I know, who had about shoulder length hair, started growing their hair out a bit as soon as their wedding date was fixed, especially those that wanted an updo. After the wedding they then went back to their old styles. Others went to the hair dresser and got a new style cut in. Others just had it cut in their regular style and prettied up a bit (curls, waves, flips).

It varies, I guess, and depends largely on the woman, the times, what's in style, etc. ...

x0h_bother
April 17th, 2011, 09:01 AM
Mommy haircut. Wash and go concept, but personally I think short hair is harder to upkeep with cuts and leave-ins or flat irons. I think the women are getting the mommy haircut early. On some women shorter hair makes them "look" older. Not sure if this is due to culture or not. I think it goes along with our strange cultural idea that long hair is not for older women.

racrane
April 17th, 2011, 09:31 AM
I've seen this a lot around Wisconsin and I think it's a variety of reasons, as discussed here. I know when my boyfriend and I took a break last summer I impulsively cut my hair to chin length (after already deciding to grow my hair out from shoulder length). Once I came to my senses and boyfriend and I got back together, I was very upset. I learned my lesson though. I love long hair and no matter how appealing short hair may be, I'll always want long hair. But other women are not as attached to their long hair as I am, so they think nothing of cutting it off. This is just my opinion from personal experience. For me, I always want long hair and will never cut it off for anyone else but me again.

estelwen
April 17th, 2011, 10:13 AM
Interesting observation there! I can't count how many of my unmarried friends unhappily alternate between long and short hair... "I want long hair at my wedding! But I'm not getting married, so I'll cut it off."

I had always thought I'd like to wear at least waist length hair down in curls at my wedding, but I ended up putting my waist-length hair in a crown braid and bun under the veil. Funny!

And I have no intention of cutting anytime soon!

Carolyn
April 17th, 2011, 10:51 AM
Please keep in mind I don't believe this. When I was in my 20s I was told by several people, both male and female, that once I get married I can give up and cut my hair because I won't need it to hook a man :crazyq: I think that's just nuts. If you are a long hair at heart I think it's likely you will keep your hair long or longish. I had Farrah Fawcett hair when I got married and then grew my layers out and went longer. The wedding updo seems to be a big deal with a lot of today's brides so I imagine a lot grow out and then want their old style back. It's interesting to observe what people do.

alipes
April 17th, 2011, 11:29 AM
I definitely agree with the folks who call it a "mommy haircut". I don't think it's so much about "showing off" to get a guy (although maybe it is for some people!), but that once they start having children, they don't want to mess with something that takes a while to make pretty.

Dark Queen
April 17th, 2011, 03:17 PM
I don't know, that kind of scares me. Yes, my hair probably takes longer than the average person's to maintain, but I've had it long all my life and I can't see how it would be worth it to cut short for a few extra minutes a day :confused:

Copasetic
April 17th, 2011, 03:37 PM
I have noticed a lot of women cut there hair short after getting married.

I've never noticed that women do this. But those who do cut their hair short after marriage probably do it for the same reason that many of us want to grow our hair long; because it is preferable to them.

HintOfMint
April 17th, 2011, 04:20 PM
I think it just has to do with the fact that a lot of women want to have a romantic updo for their wedding, which requires longer hair, but they don't actually want long hair all the time. It makes sense, I was a short-hair girl for most of my youth, but I always grew it out for dance recitals or proms.

Not everyone loves long hair and their choices are their choices

ibleedlipstick
April 17th, 2011, 05:18 PM
I don't know why its done now, but in the older days (from what my grandmother told me) women cut their hair after the wedding because long hair was considered part of childhood and youth. Once you got married (and I'm talking about young girls in those days) you became a woman. It was symbolic.
It also made you look older.
Also, on the practical side, once you were married you had your own household to run and more than yourself to take care of, so you didn't have time to spend on your long hair.
So maybe its a tradition that stuck around without anyone knowing why or without being needed?

I think that they feel that they have changed stages of life, and they need to change their hair as well. I think that they might feel like they need to cut it as a way to show maturity.

Me? No way it is way easier to be able to throw my longer hair up into a bun than spend ages trying to get my short hair to stay flat.

Dark Queen
April 17th, 2011, 06:25 PM
Me? No way it is way easier to be able to throw my longer hair up into a bun than spend ages trying to get my short hair to stay flat.

Same here! I think it's so funny when people ask if my hair is a pain to style when in reality it's so much easier to do a bun. If my hair were shorter, I'd look like a poodle.

tolly
July 21st, 2011, 01:35 PM
I cut my hair not because I got married but when I was pregnant, I had a 9month old at the time and couldn't cope with salon visits [I was chemically relaxing 4a/4b hair and had no idea I could manage my hair myself or do without chemicals], taking care of a 9month old full time work and school, plus pregnancy symptoms.....I picked up a blunt scissor one night and hacked away, I didn't even regret it!

LunaMoon
July 21st, 2011, 01:41 PM
Maybe this is not true here in France, most of married women have long hair. I start growing mine after marriage actually.

Amber_Maiden
July 21st, 2011, 02:15 PM
I notice it more with new mothers than with newly married women... Most of my friends actually have chopped their hair and gotten the "mom cut".... When I have kids I'm not cutting my hair :D

littlenvy
July 21st, 2011, 02:27 PM
I notice it more with new mothers than with newly married women... Most of my friends actually have chopped their hair and gotten the "mom cut".... When I have kids I'm not cutting my hair :D
It might have to do with post pregnancy shed. I shed so much the first 3 months after giving birth that I was practically bald from forehead to the top of my head. So I had no choice but to cut mine short and hope it recovers. And it did.

Kristamommyx3
July 21st, 2011, 02:28 PM
I have three children, and after each baby, my hair shed way way more than just catching up! I lost a good third of my thickness after my third child. Hormones are the key culprit here, I think my nursing for over a year added insult to injury. I have since stabilized my hormones, and my hair has thickened up again to it's former glory. :D

Mirsha
July 21st, 2011, 02:51 PM
The SO calls it 'short hair syndrome', since almost always right before he'd/she'd leave the relationship someone cut their hair short!

I think it's part of the reason he now tells me to 'have pretty long red hair for me please!'

Cainwen
July 21st, 2011, 03:15 PM
I've never noticed the cut it short after marriage thing, and I certainly am not cutting my hair short. I did get it trimmed a couple months before the wedding to finally get rid of the hair that I had fried when I had it in a pixie cut (4 inches of growth gone and I nearly cried). But now that I'm married I do notice that I'm more conscious of the time I spend on my hair, since DH spends next to no time and thought on his :D. Maybe this has

One of my bridesmaids did it for my wedding though. She grew out her hair so she could pin it back, then chopped it back to a bob as soon as she could. I didn't ask her to do this, but she thought it would be nicer, considering my wedding was very traditional, though as laid back as I could make it.

I have noticed the "relationship is about to end/has ended, must chop off all hair" thing though. I wonder if its at all related to how people in mourning will sometimes cut off their hair?

Oldfashioned
July 21st, 2011, 03:33 PM
I got the "mommy haircut" after I had my son... instantly regretted it! It was too short for a ponytail and it was always in my face since I was always looking down to feed him, change him, etc. My hair was more irritating in the middle of the night than the baby! And if you don't have time to shower... long hair can hide it better!

Teresa9000
July 21st, 2011, 03:53 PM
I cut my hair a month an a half after I got married. I didn't realize this was a "thing".
I did it because my husband suggested it and I agreed it was a good idea at the time. I got tired of him laying on my hair, rolling over on my hair (with it caught under his arm or something), yanking out my hair on accident, and various other hair misadventures as a result of him not being used to sleeping next to someone with long hair. Now I'm growing it back out and we're both more used to sleeping with long hair, so he's more careful and I'm better at keeping it out of his way.

I imagine a lot of women who grow their hair out specifically for the wedding are doing so because, for hair longer than a pixie and shorter than shoulder length, "down" is not a very flattering style to wear with a veil, in their opinion. There is little else you can do with hair that short.

dulce
July 21st, 2011, 05:21 PM
A satin sleeping cap[good for hair] is great at preventing hubbie rollovers in the middle of the night.Some have lace and flounces and are quite pretty[check ebay]

MissHair
July 21st, 2011, 06:13 PM
I associate long hair with being single and being youthful. It just automatically draws attention to you (which is one reason why I want long hair right now) and it seems like they have accomplished that once they get married. I know several friends who've done that. Interesting observation you've made.

Joliebaby
July 22nd, 2011, 08:01 AM
Agreed. Growing it out specifically for the wedding, and then chopping it 'back to normal' afterwards, seems to be quite common. Always struck me as a bit strange; why would you want to look not like yourself on your wedding day? :hmm:

I always thought that was weird too, but a plausible explanation because I've noticed a lot of people do that, grow their hair longer for the wedding!

I didn't cut after getting married (though I cut later at some point and kept it short for a few years, including a shaved head.. and I actually had short hair when I met DH) and I also didn't cut because I had a baby. My hair actually never shed any of the pregnancy thickness, so if anything having a baby made my hair thicker. I cut now, but not because I have a kid.. and I'm growing it out again.