SO hair?

[younghippie]

What do you guys do when you hate your SOs hair. My BF just got his hair cut buzz cut short. I think it looks disgusting and I can't believe he paid someone to do that to him. Obviously I prefer long hair but he had med length black hair after he cut his long hair off. I find it hard to tell him the truth when he asks me what I think of it. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Oksana]

I prefer my partners hair short, he's very image conscious (:p) so i very rarely dislike his hair. He has had his hair buzz cut before and i didn't like it that much, but his hair grows at a ridiculous rate so within a month it was back to normal.

Ultimately, I'm not with him for his hair so it doesn't really bother me!:o

[Tiina]

I believe everyone has the right to be in charge of their own appearance. If you don't like someone else's hair then you still have to understand that it is their choice to choose how they want it to be not yours.

What would you feel if he told you that something about your appearance looks disgusting?

[Firefox7275]

Perhaps not the best move to tell the whole of the internet that your BF's hair looks disgusting - I'd be really upset to read that. :( If you want to be truthful just say you liked it before, but perhaps you just need time to get used to the new style. If he is happy you should be really be happy for him.

[sunshine-locks]

I love my SO's hair :D I've seen it a little longer than it is, and a little shorter, all of these changes look fine to me ^_^ He doesn't seem to want to change it that much, which i'm happy with, his current hair is perfect to me :D but he can do whatever he wants to it- in the end, it's his decision :)

[princessp]

I prefer my SO's hair longer too. When I met him it was one of the things that attracted me to him physically. Anyway, fast forward 13 years and now he prefers his hair kind of buzzed too and I love him just the same (well more actually). He knows how I feel about his awesome "Polamalu type hair" I tease him all the time about how he needs to grow it out because most men his age are thinning/balding. But having long hair is a lot of work, he's a hard working man, and he prefers it the way it is. He wouldn't care if my hair was short so I can't get too crazy thinking about it. We've been together a lot of year now so you know the reality is there are definitely more important things to focus on in a relationship. Plus there is more conditioner for me ~ hehe. With that said, I do feel you a little on this topic. :)

[elbow chic]

Hey, at least he's not going bald. ...yet.

;)

[owlathena]

I like DBF's long hair and beard, but I'm always pleasantly surprised when he shaves it all off. I say "NO! Dont do it! I love your hair!" But of course he does what HE wants, and its always a nice change.

[MonaLisa]

I understand how you're feeling. Id hate it too :) And i did when my beloved would make it shorter, but i also clearly showed it, made sure he knows how much i dislike it and what i prefer. Now he keeps it longer, not long but kinda longish, locks all around, just the way i like it!
I think you should let him now ;)

[Aleria]

My DBF just cut his hair from mid-length with adorable curls, to really short. I don't like it, and told him so the first time I saw it. Haven't brought it up since. I think expressing your opinion is fine, just don't nag about someone else's appearance.

[ouseljay]

When my s.other gets it cut, I vociferously morn the loss of his beautiful curls while running my hands through (what's left of) his hair. And then he laughs at me. :p It's a joke we have now, but I do honestly prefer his hair long enough for the curls to show up and in deference to that he no longer gets it cut extremely short.

Just be tactfully honest and tell your SO, when he asks, that you prefer his hair longer. Don't use the word "disgusting" (or words like "hate," "ugly," etc.) and remember that it'll grow back.

[Kherome]

I believe everyone has the right to be in charge of their own appearance. If you don't like someone else's hair then you still have to understand that it is their choice to choose how they want it to be not yours.

What would you feel if he told you that something about your appearance looks disgusting?

This. :confused:

[selderon]

I don't think I comment on my beloved's hair much. I appreciate that he keeps it nice and neat, but if he gets it cut shorter than ideal or does something strange with the color... I just focus on the many other wonderful things about him, both physical and not. That may be one reason that after ten years of marriage we are still in love. It's not that I ignore reality. I just choose to focus on the good.

One of the most important things I've learned in the last two months is how powerful my own thoughts are. I've made an effort to squash negative thoughts and replace them with positive or neutral ones. The difference in my outlook is astonishing.

[Latte Lady]

I'd be honest when asked but not hurtful. I'd say something along the lines as, "It's not what I prefer on you as I like longer hair but I understand you wanting to try something new." He may just be doing what a lot of us girls do when we want a change. The hair is almost always the first to go. You'll have to ask him to find out why he cut it and if he might grow it out again for you.
It is his hair and he can do what he wants with it in the end. He does care about your thoughts or he wouldn't ask. Just remember that you don't love him because of the hair and that it grows back.

[Lostsoule77]

I love the curls my DF gets when his hair gets a little longer, but there are two problems with it. He is balding in front so longer hair doesn't look as good as a buzz cut. The other thing is he CONSTANTLY wears a baseball cap and his curls look like wings coming out of the cap (trust me this is bad.) He grows it until it gets bad and then gets it buzzed. It's a constant cycle that I've gotten used to over the 13 yrs we've been together. I let him know that he needs a cut if it's getting really unruly and he hasn't noticed (he works hard and does the majority of the daily chores at home so doesn't always look in the mirror, LOL.) I would never tell him I think it's disgusting because I wouldn't want him to say that to me about something I do that he doesn't like.

If he asks your opinion I think you can tell him in a nice way as pp have said. Please do not tell him in the words that you have told us. It might hurt his feelings and you should always avoid doing that to those you care about when it's at all possible. When it comes to something as simple as hair I def. think it's not necessary. Perhaps he isn't all that happy about it himself and that would make it even worse for him that you don't like it as well. Maybe he loves it and would be disappointed that you don't. Whatever the case is, support him when what he does is about him.

It's been a long day and I'm tired so if I've over generalized or under simplified please put it to the fact that my eyes are half closed, but I love this place so I am still on it. LOL :)

[Nae]

I just let him do his thing.......it is the least I can do for him ignoring all the vinegar and the oil all over the bathroom. He also is suprisingly laid back about all the hair toys I buy all the time.

He is good. I think I will keep him.:D

[RecklessCharlie]

I believe everyone has the right to be in charge of their own appearance. If you don't like someone else's hair then you still have to understand that it is their choice to choose how they want it to be not yours.

What would you feel if he told you that something about your appearance looks disgusting?

I would just like to say...BINGO.

[Fingolphin]

I only try to give my wife tips and advice from what i've learned here. She pretty much disregards almost all of it, as she doesn't care as much about hair care as I do, and she doesn't frequent this place. But it's all good. :) Each to their own.

[MissCharizard]

Actually my boyfriend just told me that he hates my henna, he thinks it gives it a "weird shine" and smells bad. It hurt my feelings, so please be careful what you say.

[AnqeIicDemise]

DH has had absolutely gorgeous hair. Thin, but curly and beautiful. He got it in his head that he's balding (again, he just has thin hair, period. Courtesy of his Mama.) and that he would shave his hair.

Well, I couldn't talk him out of it. He actually kept thinking about it for months and then I found myself one evening, shaving his head in the kitchen. I thought he'd just get a crew cut. Maybe quarter inch to half an inch with a nice fade.

Nope he wanted it shaved.

So I shaved it like he wanted it, to a nice little peach fuzz. -- I was already annoyed and grossed out at this point. (I shall explain why later.) He decided to go take a shower then to go remove the fuzzies...

Then I heard it. A scream... a curse.. and cue me running over. So, he's staring at himself in the mirror, razor in one hand, the other on his, now pink bald head. "Damnit, I'm not going bald!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I ended up doing both.** I mean, his reaction was hilarious -- he finally realized he isn't going bald at all and instantly regreted his decision. I still couldn't understand *why* I was so grossed out and disgusted by the lack of hair to the point I'm crying like a lunatic until he tried to hug me.

Turns out his lack of hair was just one of those triggers that sends me off the deep end. (long story short, years of sexual abuse.) We worked through it, and managed to deal with it, but it was tough. I couldn't really kiss him nor be intimate with him for weeks and for him to be cuddly he had to wear a beanie.... which pissed *me* off because I couldn't control my irrationality.

Point is: we talked about it and got through it. After a few weeks, upon realizing how miserable he felt because I was uncomfortable, I forced myself to touch his head... and play with the fuzz... and give him head itches.

Why?

Because at the end of the day, hair is hair, and it does not make DH, DH. DH is not That Man and, thank god, That Man is not DH. If it **really** is bothering you, find out why... and address this issue, but for the love of god, don't let him in the dark. It can cause a rift and rifts, when they get too big, can be impossible to mend.

[AnqeIicDemise]

Actually my boyfriend just told me that he hates my henna, he thinks it gives it a "weird shine" and smells bad. It hurt my feelings, so please be careful what you say.

Quoted for truth.

Although it is important to share your feelings before your body language makes thing worse, do sit and figure out *why* you're so appalled.. and communicate on how to work through it in a calm, rational manner.