View Full Version : Age and hair length: again?
akuamoonmaui
March 28th, 2011, 02:03 PM
So I was reading 'More' magazine and when I came to the page of quotable quotes, the one at the top one was:
"And why not? I like being 55 going on 15." Writer Dominique Browning, on what she says when accused of wearing her hair too long.
http://www.dominiquebrowning.com/about.html
So I was a bit..... disappointed in the magazine and the author.
One: the word choice 'accused'; accused is typically associated with witch hunts and criminals. Neither of which are popular.
Two: She's obviously entitled to her opinion and maybe it does make her feel youthful, and that's why she said it. BUT, did she have to buy into that negative connotation of longer hair on women over a certain age is some how immature? She's a crafter of words for pete's sake!
And three: as I paged through the magazine quite a few of their advertisements and fashion segments had models with hair APL to BSL.... a little bit of contradiction, if I dare say.
This forum has had a lot of conversations about age and length so hopefully this thread isn't ad nauseum, but I thought it was interesting that in one breath a magazine can both denounce and promote longer hair for women over 40, and a woman who is intentionally keeping her hair long would (IMO) give credibility to a negative stereotype.
Long hair on older women means to me:
grace and tradition,
a personal sense of style regardless of convention, and/or
the maturity and patience to achieve a goal.
spidermom
March 28th, 2011, 02:15 PM
I scrolled through her blog but didn't see anything at all about hair.
rena
March 28th, 2011, 02:29 PM
I don't give a flying green-bean what everyone else is going to say, I plan on taking my long, white, old lady hair all the way to the grave!
Peace out.
pepperminttea
March 28th, 2011, 02:32 PM
Her name rings a bell; didn't she write an article about having longer hair? I think someone posted it a while back and the thread naturally exploded.
Either way; Unless I become too decrepit to care for my hair beforehand, I'm going to be a stern old lady with a bun (and lots of cats). :D
skyblue
March 28th, 2011, 05:11 PM
I never agreed with that age thing anyway so it doesn't matter to me ;)
Mesmerise
March 28th, 2011, 05:16 PM
Hmm I dunno... I don't see a problem with what the author said?!
I think all she was trying to say is that she doesn't have to "act her age" or do what the other women of her age do *shrugs*. It's perfectly acceptable for a 15 year old to have long hair, so why not a 55 year old, and I think that's what she was getting at!
I like to have the same attitude myself :D.
Firefox7275
March 28th, 2011, 07:14 PM
Now now it's tabloid journalism, you can't expect them to have a basic grasp of the English language nor quote accurately. Too long for what? Should we all spam More magazine seeking clarification? Or ask when the trial is to be held? Or suggest Welsh rarebit for supper? :cheese:
mrsbob
March 28th, 2011, 08:09 PM
I'm 53 and will always have long hair. The way I look at it is, I didn't look good with short hair when I was young, why in the world would it look good now?
Now if I'd just learn to leave my bangs alone....
I hate it when "experts" tell us what and who we should be.
I like your attitude, Rena! ;)
CathyEarnshaw
March 28th, 2011, 10:15 PM
The best thing I've learned by living to be 56 is that as long as I'm not hurting anyone, who cares what they think? I love my old lady white hair and I'm growing it long for the first time in my life!
NorCal
March 28th, 2011, 10:35 PM
Cathy, your color is beautiful!
ElusiveMuse
March 28th, 2011, 10:43 PM
Hmm I dunno... I don't see a problem with what the author said?!
I think all she was trying to say is that she doesn't have to "act her age" or do what the other women of her age do *shrugs*. It's perfectly acceptable for a 15 year old to have long hair, so why not a 55 year old, and I think that's what she was getting at!
I like to have the same attitude myself :D.
The implication is that an older woman with long hair is being petulant and immature. Which is great if that's your personality but long hair doesn't have anything to do with it. That's the problem.
HintOfMint
March 28th, 2011, 11:39 PM
I may have to be the voice of dissent here, but I think she is entitled to her opinion and is allowed to have her opinion reflect only her, and not other long haired ladies "of a certain age." She doesn't have to represent long haired older women and nobody asked her to do so. If that is how she feels, that is how she feels.
PS, Ms. Cathy Ernshaw, you're beautiful!
ElusiveMuse
March 29th, 2011, 12:31 AM
HintofMint, while that's fine it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't live in a vacuum or a bubble. She is making that comment because she is addressing a social expectation. It's not her comment or how she feels about this social expectation, but the fact that it exists and needs to be addressed at all that I think some of us take issue with.
Firefox7275
March 29th, 2011, 03:34 AM
HintofMint, while that's fine it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't live in a vacuum or a bubble. She is making that comment because she is addressing a social expectation. It's not her comment or how she feels about this social expectation, but the fact that it exists and needs to be addressed at all that I think some of us take issue with.
I see it as being exactly the same as those of us who are child-free by choice being described as selfish. I know some will argue against that sentiment, I choose not to allow that word to be used as an accusation but instead to agree with it. Selfish does NOT equal being unkind to others it means "concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others" - in this context who are these others? My unfertilised eggs?
Neither the word selfish nor the phrase "going on fifteen" have to be taken as being negative - do you really see all teens the world over as being nothing more than "petulant and immature"? Because that is as ageist a belief as any made to or about an older woman. :confused: At fifteen I was free to do so much as I had no adult responsibilities, free to think outside the box as children do, free to start choosing my path in life. Many other fifteen year olds undertake voluntary work, get involved in their church or youth parliament, take full responsibility for siblings or the household chores.
Mesmerise
March 29th, 2011, 05:04 AM
I see it as being exactly the same as those of us who are child-free by choice being described as selfish. I know some will argue against that sentiment, I choose not to allow that word to be used as an accusation but instead to agree with it. Selfish does NOT equal being unkind to others it means "concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others" - in this context who are these others? My unfertilised eggs?
Neither the word selfish nor the phrase "going on fifteen" have to be taken as being negative - do you really see all teens the world over as being nothing more than "petulant and immature"? Because that is as ageist a belief as any made to or about an older woman. :confused: At fifteen I was free to do so much as I had no adult responsibilities, free to think outside the box as children do, free to start choosing my path in life. Many other fifteen year olds undertake voluntary work, get involved in their church or youth parliament, take full responsibility for siblings or the household chores.
Yes, agreed. I don't see anything at all negative about the phrase "going on 15" as I see 15 as just being young and free *shrugs*, I never got the "petulant and immature" vibe from it. I mean nobody casts judgement on a 15 year old with long hair, why should they cast judgement on a 55 year old with long hair?
To me saying what the author said was perfectly acceptable and a good attitude to have. She's just saying she's able to be free and youthful at 55!!
I think it's all a matter of how we interpret things, and naturally, everyone will interpret people's words differently.
I agree that it is overall a stupid belief that older women need to have short hair, and it's one that should be eradicated! I see the magazine's slant on the idea more damaging than the author's, who just wants to be free to be herself!
Othala
March 29th, 2011, 05:46 AM
I don't give a flying duck what anyone thinks. I'm middle-aged, greying, long-haired and increasingly disgraceful. I think I rock.
Firefox7275
March 29th, 2011, 06:01 AM
Yes, agreed. I don't see anything at all negative about the phrase "going on 15" as I see 15 as just being young and free *shrugs*, I never got the "petulant and immature" vibe from it. I mean nobody casts judgement on a 15 year old with long hair, why should they cast judgement on a 55 year old with long hair?
To me saying what the author said was perfectly acceptable and a good attitude to have. She's just saying she's able to be free and youthful at 55!!
I think it's all a matter of how we interpret things, and naturally, everyone will interpret people's words differently.
I agree that it is overall a stupid belief that older women need to have short hair, and it's one that should be eradicated! I see the magazine's slant on the idea more damaging than the author's, who just wants to be free to be herself!
Or perhaps "Anything you can do I can do better." ;)
Chamy
March 29th, 2011, 06:26 AM
I dont know if im stepping on someones toes when i write this, but i think that if you follow every new trend that comes up because you want to be like everyone else, and fit in, it shows lack of character. But im not much of trend-follower, its much more fun to have a personal style, regardless of what trends are "now".
And i am SO gonna rock long white hair when i get older and wiser. :D
ladydiane818
March 29th, 2011, 07:21 AM
I think that perpetuating stereotypes is how companies sell magazines. To make you think that you need to be or look a certain way, and then you buy the magazine to 'help' you achieve that. It's all marketing. All of it. There's no money in everyone doing what they want, without pressure from so-called 'experts' telling us who we should be and what is 'fashionable.' The bottom line is that magazines are designed to make money and sell more magazines.
Even this woman saying that she is going against the stereotype of older women having shorter hair - that's also a marketing ploy, if someone reads that in the checkout line, agrees, and then buys the magazine.
jackiesjottings
March 29th, 2011, 08:39 AM
I don't give a flying green-bean what everyone else is going to say, I plan on taking my long, white, old lady hair all the way to the grave!
Peace out.
I am with you :)) I am still at the going silver stage but I plan on keeping my hair long for the rest of my life if I can :)
mrsbob
March 29th, 2011, 09:19 AM
I don't give a flying duck what anyone thinks. I'm middle-aged, greying, long-haired and increasingly disgraceful. I think I rock.
LOVE your attitude!!!
HintOfMint
March 29th, 2011, 10:56 AM
HintofMint, while that's fine it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't live in a vacuum or a bubble. She is making that comment because she is addressing a social expectation. It's not her comment or how she feels about this social expectation, but the fact that it exists and needs to be addressed at all that I think some of us take issue with.
But maybe she actually does think that long hair is youthful and she likes that feeling. I realize that this is an issue that many long haired mature women deal with all the time and do not have the same perception that she does and fight against it all the time. But if that is how she feels, it's how she feels.
I'm a woman and I personally like my long hair because I think long hair is feminine. However, there may be many men here who, by a similar reasoning, would object to my characterization because they love their long hair but do not wish to be characterized as feminine because of it and this is something they, as long haired men, deal with and fight against all the time. I understand their problem, and I am sorry for the fact that they have to defend their masculinity against something like this, but I still hold my opinion and do not feel that it applies to anyone else. I love MY long hair for its feminine qualities and this doesn't really apply to anyone else. Do you see what I mean?
ElusiveMuse
March 29th, 2011, 11:21 AM
If she feels young and feminine with her long hair that's great! But long hair is not the exclusive domain of the young or even young at heart.
Someone, the OP I think, pointed out the kind of language the piece used, like "accused." She answered a sort of loaded question with words that have a negative connotation, and she did so in a sort of flip and joking manner which is one way to handle it. But at some point it would be interesting for a woman to be like, "You know what? I love my long hair and I'm 55 going on...uh...56. Get over it."
As a culture we so privilege youth and experiences of the young that I think it isn't right to be uncritical about these things, even if they are how some people truly feel. Heck, my mom is 55 going on 15 and she's delightful to be sure. But if we never question the phenomenon we let it become normalized and I'm not sure that is really okay here. 55 year old women should be allowed the cultural freedom of being and enjoying their own age, however their hair looks.
telegraph64
March 29th, 2011, 11:25 AM
I'm upper-middle aged, silver, skinny, sexy, and proud of it. I'm married to a 60 year old who does not hesitate to dye his shoulder length hair black, and many people frown at us in disgust, I don't care. I'm so old I can't even care anymore, live 15, die 15.
mrs_coffee
March 29th, 2011, 11:56 AM
I don't give a flying duck what anyone thinks. I'm middle-aged, greying, long-haired and increasingly disgraceful. I think I rock.
There is no better attitude than this one, IMO. http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm215/tackyblueeyeshadow/Smileys/claps.gif
Misti
March 29th, 2011, 12:10 PM
I don't give a flying duck what anyone thinks. I'm middle-aged, greying, long-haired and increasingly disgraceful. I think I rock.
Yeah, you rock! :)
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