Kid's hair already turned gray?

[Wheatland]

I was standing in line for the bank the other day and the man behind me had his daughter with him. She had waist length, beautiful, dark, thick hair. And I'm really bad at telling ages of people, but she couldn't have been any older than 8 or 9. As I was snatching glimpses of her hair I noticed that she had A LOT of white/silver hairs. They were very noticeable against her natural black hair. I was just very shocked to see such a young girl with gray hair already!

So I was wondering if you were her mother/father/guardian would you dye her hair black/brown to avoid being teased at school?


This may belong in the parenting area but I wasn't sure. :shrug:

[ElusiveMuse]

I'm not sure that I would, because I do not want to teach children that their appearance must always please others or that they should give in to bullies.

On the other hand, if it truly bothered the little girl I may let her, if I felt that she was making the decision rationally and for herself.

I think a streak of white hair can occur when one has experienced a trauma. Potentially there is a lot to the story of that streak, which would inform my decision to let her dye it if she were mine. I would never force a child to live with a visible reminder of a trauma if it were easily corrected with hair dye. On the other hand, I would want to teach the child that sometimes, scars and visible effects of trauma are like badges of courage, attesting to what we've come through as people.

Complicated problem, actually...

[Wheatland]

I'm not sure that I would, because I do not want to teach children that their appearance must always please others or that they should give in to bullies.

On the other hand, if it truly bothered the little girl I may let her, if I felt that she was making the decision rationally and for herself.

I think a streak of white hair can occur when one has experienced a trauma. Potentially there is a lot to the story of that streak, which would inform my decision to let her dye it if she were mine. I would never force a child to live with a visible reminder of a trauma if it were easily corrected with hair dye. On the other hand, I would want to teach the child that sometimes, scars and visible effects of trauma are like badges of courage, attesting to what we've come through as people.

Complicated problem, actually...

That's very interesting. I didn't know about the trauma thing.

I think it's always a very curious problem, not wanting your child to change for others but also wanting him/her to be confident.

[Katze]

The other day I saw a little boy I had not seen in a while who now has more hair (he will be two in June) and he has a white 'patch' at the crown of his head that I had not noticed before. His parents said he was born like that. It actually looked cool, it was kind of a creamy white against his chestnut brown hair. I was envious.

This girl could have had a similar thing. It does happen.

[Mesmerise]

My son was born with a few whitish grey hairs, and they were quite obvious against his dark baby hair, but as his fair hair grew in they became less obvious (I guess I could find them if I searched), his hair is sort of ash blond so the greyish hairs just blend in.

As for what I'd do if my child had obvious grey hairs... I'm not sure! I don't like the idea of chemically treating a young child's hair (I let my daughter have henna but I wouldn't let her use a chemical dye)... but in that case, I'm not sure! I wouldn't mind so much if she was older (say 13 or 14+ because I figure at that age she'll want to get more experimental with hair colour anyway).

It's a tough one... for me I'm not unhappy with the cosmetic idea because I wouldn't want my child to feel different... but I don't like the idea of chemical dyes. I mean, I'd use henna, but it wouldn't work with all hair colours (maybe henna and indigo???).

[christine1989]

In my elementary school I remember a few kids with streaks of grey or white hairs. Sure the other kids made comments but not in a teasing way. I would let her dye it only if it was bothering her. I think if a minor cosmetic change will boost a child's confidence then it would be petty not to let them. She may very well be content with it though. Afterall, when I was little I hardly paid any mind to my hair.

[Ishje]

I'm not sure that I would, because I do not want to teach children that their appearance must always please others or that they should give in to bullies.




I agree with this.
also, all kids are different, some deal with this sort of stuff in a different way then others.
I'd probably wait and see how my kid would respond to it.

[pepperminttea]

If they wanted to dye it, I'd let them and help them, but not after copiously stressing that their white and silver hairs were just as beautiful as the others. That, and making them watch Howl's Moving Castle. Nothing like the line "Wow Sophie, your hair looks like starlight" to make you wish you had silver hair.

[Avital88]

Are you sure it was grey and not really blond? my daughter has darkbrown hair but she was born with one string (like 0.5inch) of blond hair on the left side of her head..
Grey at that age, ive never seen it before, but sure possible..too bad for the little girl... i dont know what i would do in that case.

[julliams]

If they wanted to dye it, I'd let them and help them, but not after copiously stressing that their white and silver hairs were just as beautiful as the others. That, and making them watch Howl's Moving Castle. Nothing like the line "Wow Sophie, your hair looks like starlight" to make you wish you had silver hair.

I am SO with you - that is one of my favourite moments in that film.

[kaned_ferret]

Being a natural redhead I got individual hairs that would spontaneously go silver in summer, but it wasn't really noticable amongst all the gingerness - and lets faced it people had FAR to much fun for mocking my hair colour, they wouldn't have needed to pick on a few silvers even if they knew of their existence! And oddly my sister (also a redhead) has a patch that I found on the back of her head with 6 hairs in a clump that naturally grow blue-black, no word of a lie!

I wouldn't have a problem letting a child of mine dye over that if that's what they wanted, but I don't think most kids would think about it.

[MonaMayfair]

Another thing that can cause the sudden appearance of gray hairs (in adults AND children) is a thyroid imbalance.

[wvgemini]

My DF has a white patch at his crown. It was something he was born with. My aunt also has a white patch of hair, but more toward the front of her head. It will not take dye. She colors her hair red usually, but has done blonde, brown, you name it. That patch won't take.

[trillcat]

One of my best friends in grammar school started going grey at around 11 yrs old, it didn't bother her till she got to high school. Kids can be so mean, her hair was to die for. Long, almost natural black and thick with a bit of curl. Stunning. but those little greys bothered her so she started dying it at around 15 years old. In an odd bit of life is strange, that is around the time I started bleaching my hair platinum. ( I don't do that anymore) White blonde= good, white real hair, not good. I don't get that either. It was the 80's though perhaps we were all addled by all the Aquanet?

[Pantsless Amy]

My oldest daughter is 10. She has the prettiest nut brown hair with natural blond tones in it. She also has silver hair. Not blond. Silver. they are also coarser than her usual hair, and wavier. I noticed them a few months ago. there's nothing really traumatic in her life that could have caused this (unless you count her A- in Reading, her favorite subject). At first there were just three of them grouped together along her hairline behind her left ear. I first saw them when I was doing an updo. I called them her wisdom hair and she smiled at the thought of being not just smart, but wise. But when I do her hair I've started to notice a few more sprinkled here and there. It isn't to the point that anyone but her Mother would notice yet, but they are there.

If it ever gets to the point that others would notice I will let her dye it. And she has already asked it she can dye it if she gets a lot of grey hair. Life is hard enough for a young girl. I'm gonna let her do what she needs to do to feel pretty. What's the difference between me dying my grey hair and her dying her grey hair? :shrug:

[Wanderer09]

I first saw them when I was doing an updo. I called them her wisdom hair and she smiled at the thought of being not just smart, but wise.

That is so sweet. :)

If I had children, I'd sooner teach them to love themselves as they are and tell bullies to **** off. If they wanted to dye their hair I'd want them to do it to express themselves creatively, not out of fear.

[Noula]

P-Phenylenediamine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-Phenylenediamine) is used in a lot of hair dyes and is a contact allergen. There is at least one study going on (just read about it today) about hair dyes containing carcinogens. As far as henna etc goes, I think dying sends the wrong message. It tells them that they are not good enough as they are but that they have to improve and change themselves.

[jojo]

The other day I saw a little boy I had not seen in a while who now has more hair (he will be two in June) and he has a white 'patch' at the crown of his head that I had not noticed before. His parents said he was born like that. It actually looked cool, it was kind of a creamy white against his chestnut brown hair. I was envious.

This girl could have had a similar thing. It does happen.
my grandad was born with a white streak in his front like a stripe and his hair was jet black. I think there called a mallon streak, plus my daughter had white hairs; odd ones since 4. She dyes now so there covered.

[cantom03]

I have had vitiligo since I was a young girl, so I have white and yellowy-cream colored hairs all mixed threw and streaks that increase with time, as I have white(literally) patches on my skin from loss of pigment. It never has bothered me much, and I did get teased from time to time, still do in fact. I dyed my hair when I was younger, not to cover the white, but to be different than I was.

Tough question, I have a daughter myself.

[nucleardelusion]

I would have loved a streak of silver, especially if I had dark hair as a small child... then again... I also loved Lily Munster, soooo I might not have been on the same wave-length as other kids my age.:p

[Nevvie]

One of my neighbors, who was also in the same grade as me in school, had a head full of gray hair - not just a few strands, ALL of it. His brother and Mom had blonde hair (don't know about the dad) and he'd also been a blonde up until about 2 or so, then he went solid gray. I don't really remember anyone teasing him about it but he started dying it around the time we went to Middle School. He ended up looking very strange by high school with his brown hair, gray eyebrows and blonde facial hair.

I'd probably let my child dye their hair if it bothered them but I'd go with a more natural colorant and try to just cover the gray vs dying the whole head.

[GlennaGirl]

My oldest son is now 24 and has very dark hair. We noticed he had greys right around his "whorl"/cowlick in the back when he was about 9 years old. I was totally fascinated with these and they didn't bother him. He doesn't color them. :)

[Wheatland]

Whoa, turns out it's a lot more common than what I knew! I'm never around any kids in my life, no kids in the family. And I'm pretty sure they were silver... All my hair is really dark but for some reason I have a thick blonde hair that grows on my forearm.

I agree with all of you about how to approach it if it was your child in this situation and I'm glad to hear from some of you who knows kids with this that majority of them don't seem to be too bothered by it.

[constantki]

I got grays as an early teen but not as soon as 9 years old.
Hopefully hers bother her as much as mine bother me...

[CaveB]

I've got lots of experience considering a stylist found my first grey hairs at age 5, and I've been slowly growing more through the years, and in my case it's genetic. My father had a grey streak in high school and my paternal grandfather was solid white (from Irish ginger) by the time he was 30. Now being that my hair is naturally almost black, with the pale, freckled Irish skin, I had way more accusations of coloring my hair darker than any child (or mother) should ever have to deal with.

I also had a good friend in high school with a streak running from his crown to the side of his forehead, through his eyebrow and even his eyelashes of white hair, his eye on that side was also half pale baby blue while the other side (and the rest of his hair) was a medium dark brown.) It made him so unique, so gorgeous. I also have a friend who's sister has a platinum blond streak about 2 inches wide down one side of her hair and small coal black streak underneath most of her hair behind one ear, and everyone has always assumed the had them bleached/colored. No one ever realizes she never has roots or new growth until someone else points it out. They both just had birthmarks that affected the color of their hair. So interesting and so lucky.

I plan on just hyping up the uniqueness and cool factor if my son ends up with little random grey hairs like me.

[bettylibertine]

My partner has lots of little grey streaks scattered throughout his hair and facial hair. His mum said she first noticed them when he was three. Pretty sure it's genetic - our son's just turned three and doesn't have any.. yet..
I think it looks pretty cool. Problem with kids is that they'll pick on you for anything - whether it be silver hair or for dying your hair.

[lilravendark]

I wouldnt dye the hair unless they ask me I guess, but the other day I did see a kid about 8 or 9 who was balding his dad gave him a combover I felt bad for that child I'm sure he'd be happy with just a few greys.

[Maverick494]

My dad went solid white when he was 18 (he was blonde before that) so I know it does happen. I have a very light lock of hair at the front of my hairline, which makes it look like I highlighted it. Because my natural colour is ash dark blonde, it doesn't look grey or anything. More like platinum blonde. But I've seen it on kids too.

I would let my child colour their hair if it really bothered them. Having been bullied myself in both elementary and highschool, I know firsthand that just telling the bullies to f-off is not going to help. If any, it'll make it worse. I would try to help my kid get self confidence so he/she won't be an easy target and try to make him/her feel content with how they look. Easier said than done though:rolleyes:

[embee]

A lady in my town went completly silver by the end of highschool. She is now 60+ and absolutely stunning still. She sometimes mumbles about coloring her hair, because she's been silver for so darn long, but she is beautiful and whenever she mentions haircolor to anyone, the reaction is very negative. So she remains silver. :)

A work mate of mine has a silver streak at the front, has had it all her life, born with it. She mostly dyes, but I'm not sure why, I've seen her without the dye and she looks just fine.

[Sunshineliz]

Everyone in my family went gray young--not as young as that kid you saw, but started out in the teens. And yes, we teased the youngest one to go gray--my sister was 14. It was definitely genetic--our dad was 16 when he first noticed gray, and by the time he got married at 26 he had gray "wings" and someone assumed he was father of the bride! We grew up with mostly negative attitudes towards the gray, especially seeing that our father and sometimes even our mom before she started dyeing kept getting mistaken for our grandparents. Still, no one dyed their hair before adulthood. I mostly plucked and then strategically parted my hair because I was very against dyeing. Now at 33 I've had a change of heart and decided the silver isn't old, it's beautiful and if my kids go gray early too I'm going to point out it's loveliness. I love the idea of the "wisdom" hairs, I think I'll use that one!