Depression and the desire to cut/color hair

[marzipanfuntime]

I've recently realized that ever major hair disaster and chop I have done was in the middle of the coldest winter months during depressive bouts. Most of my family has depression issues, and I am starting to think that I have seasonal affective disorder.
I am wondering if anyone else has the tendency to take it out on their hair like I do. It is so frustrating to have made a little progress in growing out dye and gaining length and then lose it all when I have strong feelings that a change in my hair would somehow lighten my mood!
I always justify it thinking 'cutting off 4 inches will get out the last layers' or 'bleaching it out will get me closer to my natural color', even if I know that its fine and just needs to rest for awhile.
How can I deal with this? Is their anyway to trick myself into thinking I've made a change, without anything drastic? Maybe clip in extensions or a designated strip I can color would trick that silly brain of mine! Any tips or stories about how to push past the dissatisfaction would be great!

[Druid of Alba]

It may sound cheesy, but for me, whenever I am depressed, I go somewhere where I'm alone, and I just close my eyes and listen to my music and let it just take me away, and I dream and create a story, a movie, in my mind, to accompany the song, and that movie I make in my head deals with whatever I may be upset about. If I have a crush on someone and feel sad, I'll just imagine myself being with him/her, in a scene that seems perfect in my mind, and let myself savour the beauty of the thought. And then I realize that such a scene is so romanticized that it could most likely never happen in real life. But there's a chance! And so it becomes my goal! And whatever song I have chosen to listen to when I first had that dream comes to embody that thouht. And then whenever I hear it I see the same movie in my head, and feel the same awesome emotions, and then it gives me courage and reminds me why I'm perservering at whatever I'm doing. So, although I've described a situation with romance, I do think that you could use this for anything, as long as it was important. Find a song that makes you think of you like, walknig through a forest with your beautiful long hair blowing in the wind, and then just dream and listen to the song and let it touch you emotionally, and then whenever you loose that special emotion for yuor hair, whenever you feel like cuttin it, just listen to the song and you'll feel sentimental again. I hope this works for you, music is extremely important to me, but I hope anyone can use this! :)

[RitaCeleste]

I'm bipolar. I use to always swing manic and chop off my hair. Like I absolutely had no time for it when I was in that mood. I'm on great meds now and no real mood swings. I still cut me some fringe for bangs not long ago. I love red hair dye, I'm killing my hair with it but I'm not quite ready to commit to henna yet. I call a good hair cut the impossible dream here. I'm so sick of asking for layers and being chopped all the way back to BSL. Salons just terrify me after what they did to my hair last time! Now that really was depressing. I become really depressed when I get bad haircut and loose a lot of hair. But I color it to death because bright red makes me feel HAPPY!

[Earelia]

I know where you're coming from. Supposedly I'm bipolar and there were times where I'd just get so upset and start chopping my hair. I'd never feel happy with where I was at and I guess cutting my hair was one thing I could control and it felt good to change it but I always regretted it because it was a spur of the moment thing. I chopped my first set of dreads off in a fit of anger and depression and regretted it.

I guess the only thing you really can do is just find ways to help you cope with your feelings of depression. It's the only way to do away with ANY impulsive decisions you might not want to make. Maybe see a therapist and try to keep busy doing things you like even though it might be hard. A nice long walk with some happy music is usually a good option. Sometimes it's amazing how bundling up and getting out of the house for a little while takes your mind off of things.

[Earelia]

And go hairstyle crazy if you need a change. Treat yourself to some new headbands, combs, sticks, whatever. :D

[marzipanfuntime]

@Druid of Alba: That is a great idea, i need something deliberate like that. That crazy desire to cut it all off is so frenzied a few minutes of music and contemplation could only help.

@RitaCeleste: Red has been my color for years! I think I know what you mean by HAPPY. When the dye rinses out and you are looking at a bright penumbra of red glowing around your head it is totally invigorating!

@Earelia: I have done therapy, and while I don't seem to be in need of meds it helped allot with overall life coping. Now that it is warming up I probably wont have sad feelings that aren't, uh, real life sadness. Hiking and general getting out of the house do help, it's when that isn't an option I go hair crazy. And as of my last (self done) chop the hair is too short for accessories! So no spicing it up with sticks.

[PiroskaCicu]

Yup that's definitely me! When I went through a major depression a few years ago, I went crazy and cut my own hair........not a good idea :) however at the time I clearly wasn't thinking. I just wanted to cut my own hair. But I think it was a sort of therapy, because growing my hair back out has been a really nice journey. I guess it served as a marker in my life....

I don't take it out on my hair anymore....instead of cutting or dying I try to take care of it.

[Fufu]

how about learning new updos or hairstyles? That is change in hairstyles to me :)

[RitaCeleste]

I have a long face, updo's don't look too hot on me. Now bangs help me out, make my head less long looking. For some reason, if I pull my hair up, it almost hurts when I set it free again. Its as if I pointed the roots themselves into that ponytail and if they have to move back out of that position they are HURT! The barrette is the only updo I can stand. Unless a job forces me to wear a ponytail, that's it for the updos. I almost never wear my hair up, at all. The texture makes doing an updo a nightmare anyway as it doesn't like to be forced to look flat or smooth. I really have to tie it up tight or look like a four year old styled it for me.

[torrilin]

Now that it is warming up I probably wont have sad feelings that aren't, uh, real life sadness. Hiking and general getting out of the house do help, it's when that isn't an option I go hair crazy.

Um... that feeling that you can't go outside of the house? That's the depression talking. Really.

I've got SAD. You'll also note I live in Wisconsin, where winter pretty routinely starts in early November, and it's pretty rare for spring thaw to start before the middle of March. I also live without a car, so if I want to go anywhere at all, it involves walking. Part of why I live without a car is because exercise reliably helps my SAD, even when it's -10F outside. I do have some temperature restrictions, because I'm not used to temperatures that routinely drop below 0F for weeks at a time, but the longer I live here the better I get at managing cold.

Virginia is a lot warmer. You really can go outside in most weather (barring obvious no-nos like walking around in a hurricane or an ice storm).

Getting treatment for SAD will also help. Most of the treatments involve things like very bright lights or changing your routine so you get light when you need it most. Drugs aren't the first choice for SAD. It's a pain in the ass because a pill really *won't* fix it, and you must do sensible things like get plenty of sun and light, get exercise, and build up a support network to provide reality checks.

[Firefox7275]

Funnily enough I am just posting to my blog on the psychology of what I have done to my hair over the years, I hadn't thought about the time of year. :confused: I have seasonal affective disorder, currently being investigated for cyclothymia/ bipolar 2. Like several of you I am a dyed redhead, my first red was in January of the year the worst of my issues started ... :hmm: And yes I love that red GLOW!!

Seasonal affective disorder responds well to light therapy, you need a strong box and to start using it daily in early Autumn not wait until you have symptoms. The alternative is anti-depressants which I take permanently for my insomnia. Healthy diet and exercise (high intensity/ group/ outdoors if possible) is just as effective as AD's, but again you have to start before you need to 'hibernate'. TBH I don't really find AD's effective on their own, it's the combination of regular sleep with healthy living.

A big part of mental health is recognising what is going on as you have. :cool: I also find it helpful to learn about each condition: I self-diagnosed the SAD and the cyclothymia (doc thinks bipolar 2). And taking control of my lifestyle got me from long term sick to back to work, letting my physical wellbeing slide has meant letting my mental health slide. :(

HTH.

[Taur5684]

It's funny, I'm kinda the opposite. I have depression problems too but when I'm depressed I stop caring for myself - in fact that's when I got most of my current length. I enjoy getting haircuts because I like the feeling of someone else playing with my hair - so when I'm depressed I don't get haircuts because I feel like I don't deserve that small amount of pleasure. Strange, I know.
So anyway, I went a very long time without getting a cut and now that I've finally gotten a handle on my depression I really want to lob it all off as a sort of symbolic statement that I'm feeling better lol
But I also really like finally having the longer hair that I've always wanted - so instead I'm trying new things with it - new methods of caring for it (that I've learned here), learning up-dos (which I've never done before - a half-up with a cheap clip was my limit), and I've bought a few hair toys and plan on learning to make my own.
I want that symbolic change, so I'm trying to channel it from cutting my hair off into simply wearing it up - which for me is a big change. So, here's hoping it works :-D

I hope you find something that works too! Depression is a nasty thing, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

[RitaPG]

clip in extensions or a designated strip I can color

This is actually brilliant. You can either get colored clip in extensions, that you can change according to the mood, or have a small section of hair bleached so that you can dye it in whatever crazy color you feel like, and change when it fades
http://i842.photobucket.com/albums/zz347/gdipuddin/color.jpg Like this, for example.
I'm not saying you should go ahead and go crazy with your hair, especially if you're going to regret it later. But a strand of hair seems less dramatic and you can still have fun with it.
I thought about doing it myself but my hair can barely take dyes with peroxide in it, let alone bleach.
My solution for this is very hair friendly actually, I braid my hair with colored pieces of ribbon.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?pictureid=98248&albumid=6249&dl=1300402436&thumb=1 (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=6249&pictureid=98248) Not only I can change colors everyday, I also get some nice compliments on it :cheese:

[Earelia]

I guess not everybody can enjoy the cold season. Usually snowy walks on the icy creek makes me feel much better. I'm so alone, yet so happy out there.

[RedheadMistress]

- When I feel depressed and stressed I do draaastic things with my hair !

Recent years I stopped cutting and said I can do other things so usually I henna it .

Recently I do weak bleaches and one component dyes :P

[In2wishin]

@Earelia: I have done therapy, and while I don't seem to be in need of meds it helped allot with overall life coping. Now that it is warming up I probably wont have sad feelings that aren't, uh, real life sadness. Hiking and general getting out of the house do help, it's when that isn't an option I go hair crazy. And as of my last (self done) chop the hair is too short for accessories! So no spicing it up with sticks.

You can find accessories that work for short hair. What about fascinators? They are cute and fun and work in all hair types. I find that if I order something online it helps me even more because I have the fun of shopping at home, I have the anticipation of somthing new and fun coming in the mail, and then I have the fun of playing with my new whatever. i can get a week or two of feeling better from just one inexpensive Ebay purchase.

[dollface]

i have this problem as well and i normally quell the urge to do something drastic by trying a new deep treatment or putting a semi-permanent color that will wash out on my hair.