What would you do?

[monichella]

This is the situation: on may I will finish my no-trim year, I was 52 and now I'm 67 cm lenght. I have some split ends that I search and destroy almost everyday, I keep them under control BUT on the front I've two shorter lateral locks that I cannot stand, and I was trying to level the hair. The difference is about 10 cm.
I don't want to cut :( but on the other side I don't like these two locks and sooner or later I have to equalize, they are also a little damaged.. I don't know what to do!

Please help!

http://i827.photobucket.com/albums/zz195/monichella88/IMG_4147.jpg?t=1299919613
http://i827.photobucket.com/albums/zz195/monichella88/IMG_4142.jpg?t=1299919624

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Finally I did: 2" less at page 4

[Fufu]

Actually they look fine to me, from the second picture that shows your back hair, I cannot even tell the difference, your hair is amazingily thick and have a beautiful hemline.

[TiaKitty]

Looks great to me, actually. Those locks don't look tatty or bad in the least, IMHO.

I'd keep growing and call it fairy tale ends or a tapered hemline! Those are my favorites, though. :)

[monichella]

Thank you Fufu, but a friend of mine continues to tell me how ugly is to have that different lenghts on the front and on the back. :( In effect I don't like them too

[monichella]

@tiakitty: thanx for suggestion! I don't like fairytale so much on straight hair, they looks better on wavy, but my hair is heavy and I like thick hemline on it

[Fufu]

I will definitely say don chop off your entire hair length to match your shorter hair lengths in front, give the shorter hair to grow, eventually they will catch up with the rest of the hair length. Perhaps you could maintain your current long hair length and let the shorter ones to catch up, in this way the difference in length will become lesser and lesser. I hope you get what I mean :).

[TiaKitty]

Any friend who is telling you that your hair is ugly... well, you seriously need to reconsider their friendship. It is so not true. No friend should be saying anything like that to you!!!

Your hair is beautiful. You have a delicious blunt hemline with what looks like a little bit of layering towards the front. It looks like it used to be some face-framing layers or the like before you started to grow... No biggie.

I like the suggestion made by an above poster to keep your current length, trimming as you go, letting your shorter locks catch up, if you really want to focus on getting it all the same length!

Do the shorter bits really have any effect on your hair, how you do up-dos or anything of that kind?

[jackiesjottings]

I think it is mean of your friend to tell you that.. you have beautiful hair :) I would say- think long and hard about whether it is what you want, and make sure it is what you want and that you are not being influenced by your friend. I think it looks fine how it is :))

[monichella]

Thank you for all answers! So you think I'd better to trim only a little on the back and let the frontal locks to grow. My friend isn't bad but she has got beautiful long hair so she notes all defects!

Do the shorter bits really have any effect on your hair, how you do up-dos or anything of that kind?
Sorry, I'm not sure I understand, btw I always take my hair down, they are still too short for the most part of buns (I heard this is a common problem for iii type) and braids doesn't look so good to me.

[Fufu]

I don think having shorter hair in front is considered defects. However, do the things that you are most comfortable of, remember your hair is beautiful.

[TiaKitty]

Oh, if you don't put it up, I can see how it wouldn't matter... I meant sometimes if you put up your hair and some pieces are shorter, they'll stick out and be spiky or something. If you don't do a bun yet, no biggy. Have you tried a sock bun? I bet you could get a bun that way, if you wanted!

I still think your friend is a tart for her remark! Just because she's got long hair doesn't make her fit to belittle yours.

[monichella]

Thank you fufu, you are so kind! I will <3

@TiaKitty: I'll try to do a sock bun soon, I've done in the past but I'd completely forgotten!
I still think your friend is a tart for her remark! Just because she's got long hair doesn't make her fit to belittle yours. I'll remember next time ;)


:flower: thank you all!

[Lemur_Catta]

If having shorter hair in the front and longer in the back was ugly, people wouldn't pay to have their hair layered :D
Don't worry, your hair is wonderful! I don't think you should cut, but if you want to, just trim the back until the front catch up, so you don't lose any length.

[jasper]

I think your friend should leave you alone about your hair, which could not be called ugly in any sense.

Your hair is great. I think, if you want to even things up, you should work away at the difference in length with small trims over time.

[yvsa]

Your hair looks great! A lot of people would pay a lot of money to have hair just as beautifull as yours:). Only trim your hair if you yourself would like to trim it. Not because your friend made such an unfriendly comment.

[spitfire511]

I also agree that it looks lovely and you have a great hemline.

If you really just can't stand the tapering from front to back, I would trim in very small increments to 'maintain' at your length in the back until the front can catch up. If you chop it to match the front, you'd surely regret it!

Regardless, I think your friend is completely wrong! One of my favorite heads of hair here (UltraBella) has the most gorgeous layers.

However, I think we can all understand if you're tired of yours, they are a matter of preference! :D Good luck.

[Lianna]

Your hair is so stunning, your friend is just out of her mind!! LOTS of people CUT their straight across blunt hair to achieve that cascading effect you have going on. It just looks like a style and/or U shaped hemline (which you can't even tell from the back). I plan to have an unlayered U someday! :)

[monichella]

Maybe my friend would force me to cut because I'm always unhappy for the difference of lenghts so she's bored to listen to me! xD But yes, I will cut step by step! ^_^

Now, considering that I want to reach waist lenght (as minimum) and my hair -although I didn't cut since may 2010- is still in good condition, I'd better to cut now a little bit or wait as much as possible?
The question is: extremely long haired people prefere to mantein their hair always in good conditions or to achieve target lenght as soon as possible?

[RadiantNeedle]

I recommend practising some half-up hairdos! You can disguise those shorter layers, which really do look perfectly fine to me anyway!

Part of me is suspicious that your friend might envy your gloriously thick, glossy hair and wants you to cut it shorter so she can feel superior because her hair will be longer than yours. I might just be cynical here, but I wouldn't put it past some people! Learn to listen to her remarks and 'advice' and really think about what she's actually saying. Is in just manifestations of envy? Is it a way of making you feel continually bad and unsatisfied? Sometimes friends do that to each other, sadly.

Seriously, your hair is stunning, and I wouldn't cut much at all if I were you. Only a tiny dusting to get rid of any damage, but maintain the length.

[Kherome]

The question is: extremely long haired people prefere to mantein their hair always in good conditions or to achieve target lenght as soon as possible?

It varies. I myself prefer to have good condition first, length later. Some people are ok with damage to get to a certain length. You have to decide what matters most to you! ;)

[nucleardelusion]

The question is: extremely long haired people prefere to mantein their hair always in good conditions or to achieve target lenght as soon as possible?

Both! Some people want length first, others will take the long route for healthy long hair. I'm kinda in between... I'll baby it, but I'm not willing to get rid of all of my "damage" at once. :)

[selderon]

Thank you Fufu, but a friend of mine continues to tell me how ugly is to have that different lenghts on the front and on the back. :( In effect I don't like them too

First, tell your friend that she needs to say something nice (and true) or shut the hell up! (You might phrase it more tactfully than I just did.)

She probably doesn't know it, but when we say something mean (even in jest), a sub-conscious part of the brain always takes it seriously. Those jokes and comments, meant to be harmless, pile up heart-hurt like cordwood. Do you dislike your different lengths because you object to the shape, or because they remind you of how hurt you feels when your friend tells you they are ugly?

Second, if you don't like the different lengths, you have options!
* Trim your entire length to the length of your shortest healthy strands. You lose perhaps quite a bit of length, but it is all healthy and even.
* Trim your hair in a U or V shape, eliminating damaged hair. You lose some length and it is not level at the bottom, but the shape is symmetrical and can be softened as the shorter parts "catch up".
* Trim in increments and gradually cut off damaged ends that pass your goal length.

My personal preference would be for health before length. How do YOU feel about your hair. Is it more important that your hair be shiny and healthy first or that your hair be at your goal length first?

[monichella]

Thank you for all suggestions and friendship! So... I had a little trim yesterday, less then 2" (4 cm).
I'm happy :))

[Firefox7275]

I'd be sorely tempted to point out one of your friend's defects each time she pointed out one of mine! ;) Telling you once might be construed as well meaning, telling you repeatedly is unkind and smacks of jealousy given how beautiful your hair is.

[pink.sara]

You have beautiful hair and a great hemline. Don't cut it! And certainly not for one snippy insensitive comment.
The look you have with the layers is actually how I will deliberately have mine cut when it's as long as yours!! I find thick long hair with layers adds movement and interest... Just like another person said about Ultrabellas beautiful mane :)

[2peasinapod]

I'm glad you're happy with your trim! I also did a no trimming year, and while I love the length, the ends were driving me crazy! I recently trimmed about 1/4 inch, and I'm amazed at how much of a difference it made.

I have the same thing with layers and a couple of short pieces in the front. If you're not willing to lose that much length, I would trim incrementally. And ignore your friend's comments. Your hair is gorgeous! I think your hemline looks great in the second picture, and I bet it looks even better now! :)

[Phexlyn]

I will definitely say don chop off your entire hair length to match your shorter hair lengths in front, give the shorter hair to grow, eventually they will catch up with the rest of the hair length. Perhaps you could maintain your current long hair length and let the shorter ones to catch up, in this way the difference in length will become lesser and lesser. I hope you get what I mean :).
This. Be sure to check on the front bits regularly for splits (but from your initial post, I think you already do that) as the front sometimes tends to split more easily - it does on me.

And your so-called friend has obviously never encountered a person with a layered hair-cut :D

[IndigoAsh]

Your hair looks fantastic. I think you're wigging over nothing. <3

[Dorothy]

I just read something about terminal length...I think it was in the "other" category in the articles - that suggested that different parts of your hair grow at different rates and fall out at different rates. The article's author mentioned that she had shorter side locks too. My side locks are shorter and thinner toward the bottom, although they have gotten longer and thicker since LHC. I think acceptance is the way to go here. Right now I'm trying to grow out some of my bangs, and when they reach chin I think I'll try to enjoy the way they soften my bunned looks - which tend to be a bit severe.

[proo]

I'd nic the ends all the way around in a long u shape - just an evening out of the hemline.
I love the look and feel of great thick ends, how the edge of the shape of hair is defined.

[lacefrost]

She said WHAT? About your hair?! Your hair is :thud:!

[monichella]

Thank you for compliments, too kind :*

Answering to all:

I decided to level my lenght step by step, maybe I will trim on september if necessary.. And meanwhile I will S&d my front locks.

This is me now (from 68 to 64 cm) http://i827.photobucket.com/albums/zz195/monichella88/IMG_4332.jpg?t=1302807973

@Dorothy: My hair comes out from a bad short and asimmetrical haircut, I started equalize more than to years ago! It's a long way to longhair!

[Fufu]

Oh whoa, your hair is fabulous.........totally :thud: worthy

[selderon]

:thud: I cannot WAIT until my hair is as long as yours! I hope it looks that beautiful too. :love:

[monichella]

:flower: You are so sweet!! :o

[spidermom]

If you go to a stylist, you could have him/her blend those shorter front pieces down the sides to a U-hem.

I've got growing out face-framing fringe, and that is what my stylist does. I love it.

[FluffSpider]

1) Intentionally layer?
2) Monistat the crap out of the front bits so they catch up?
3) Monistat the crap out of all your hair and trim to even it out?
4)Let it grow in its own pace
I seem to be acquiring a fondness ot bullet-points in my posts. Next time I do this, will someone please slap me?
Anyhow, those are the only methods I can think of which won't make you lose length abruptly, but mind you you WILL claw your eyes out thinking about how cool it would have been had you left them there and had another 10 cms of length. At least, it's what I do when I get frequent trims

[elbow chic]

What would I do?

I'd smack my friend and spend the rest of the day in the mirror admiring my spectacular hair, that's what. :p

[monichella]

@elbow: LOL!! I will smack my friend soon ;)

@Spidemom, fluff: I exclude another trim at the moment, and if I will cut It will be right to remove the last step (it's 4 or 5 cm left!). But.. what about monistat?? I MUST know more!

[Calaelen]

I think your hair looks healthy and that the different lengths are very flattering based on the photos you've shown. It almost looks like you have a U hemline. As for looking ratty...not a chance!

I suspect your friend is inadvertently trying to get you to cut to a shorter length for reasons not what you'd think. Us ladies can be very catty with each other, and I've had different women telling me all through my life that I should cut...most of the time it was based on their jealously of my long hair.

Not that this is the case with your friend, but if it is only her sayso making you think you have to cut, don't go for it. If however you are uncomfortable with the shape of your hemline you can either intentionally get a u hemline to even it out a tad, or you can slowly trip off the length say 1/4 inch per month without touching the shorter parts so that eventually it is more even.

I do not recommend a blunt cut just to even out and get a straight hemiline, because I think you'd regret the loss of length.

ETA: I'd not seen the new trim pic when I commented...your hair is simply WOW now. :D