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View Full Version : best responses to "you should cut/donate your hair" comments



emmaya
February 27th, 2011, 02:05 AM
It doesn't bother me much when people make the dull observation that I have long hair, but it really grates when I'm told by a complete stranger that I should cut it, that I need to cut it, or worse, that I should donate it you-know-where.

no-one ever listens when I tell them that you-know-who sells the hair and for some reason, the fact that I've donated elsewhere twice in the past 4 years (as has my 11 year old daughter) doesn't seem to justify my desire to keep my hair for my own enjoyment (or my husband's)!

what do you say?

UltraBella
February 27th, 2011, 02:39 AM
No one has EVER said this to me ! I have no idea how I would reply. I think I would be amused and irritated all at the same time.

Pyvsi
February 27th, 2011, 02:47 AM
My evil twin said to
put your hair in a banded ponytail real quick,
make big sad eyes,
and with a quivering lip say,
"But - but then I wouldn't be able to do this"
and whip your ponytail around to whack them in the face.

That's just what my evil twin said. Of course I would never, ever think up anything that mean.

Nienna
February 27th, 2011, 03:09 AM
My evil twin said to
put your hair in a banded ponytail real quick,
make big sad eyes,
and with a quivering lip say,
"But - but then I wouldn't be able to do this"
and whip your ponytail around to whack them in the face.

That's just what my evil twin said. Of course I would never, ever think up anything that mean.

Sounds like your evil twin knows my evil twin - they think alike. ;)

Honestly, I've never had someone who didn't shut up and drop the subject after I explained that most places don't 1) use real hair, 2) give wigs to kids with cancer 3) accept dyed hair, which my hair is.

However, if I did find myself in that situation, I'd probably politely ask if they would like to donate blood and extra body parts (say a kidney) to people in need. After all, just like hair, you don't really need them.

Celtic Morla
February 27th, 2011, 08:18 AM
However, if I did find myself in that situation, I'd probably politely ask if they would like to donate blood and extra body parts (say a kidney) to people in need. After all, just like hair, you don't really need them.


ohhh I like this!!!!

People suggest it to my DD all th etime and she is admanet she is NOT cutting her hair..maybe I will suggest she use this..it would be so shocking coming out of a cherub faced blondie!!

sunshine80
February 27th, 2011, 08:23 AM
I think that they are probably jealous! I cant imagine after all that work to get my hair long and healthy someone saying that to me....I like PYVSI's evil twin idea:)

adiapalic
February 27th, 2011, 08:45 AM
When people say something to me about donating my hair, it's usually preceded by "Oh what beautiful long hair!" I really want to say "Oh my goodness, that's the worst compliment I've ever heard!" ... because it is!

maborosi
February 27th, 2011, 09:04 AM
I think that they are probably jealous! I cant imagine after all that work to get my hair long and healthy someone saying that to me....I like PYVSI's evil twin idea:)

It really makes me think of that song...Whip My Hair. Aaaahhh how annoying! I think if you had it braided all the way, you could do some serious damage!! Teehee...

Also, yeah. I think a lot of people are jealous because they don't have the patience to grow their hair out and the dedication to keep it healthy and pretty-looking. That or they simply cannot. That's my deduction, anyway. Even though my hair is only BSL, I get complimented by people that it's "So long and beautiful!" and "I wish my hair could be like yours!" ^^

If someone were to tell me to donate my hair to whatever-charity, I'd calmly ask them, "Gosh, you seem to care a lot about people that don't have hair of their own. Maybe you should grow your hair out for a few years and donate it instead of trying to force other people to do it?" Besides, my hair wouldn't even be used- it's color-treated and fine, which is practically a death (dumpster?) sentence for it! :(

~maborosi~

HeatherJenae
February 27th, 2011, 09:05 AM
I've always been a big fan of saying, "How much have you donated?". Shuts them up real quick.

Gabriel
February 27th, 2011, 09:07 AM
Just remind them politely but firmly that it is rude. Don't laugh or giggle or smile. Be very firm and no nonsense. No need to be rude back but you do need to be firm.

Look the person straight in the eyes and calmly just tell them something along the lines of, "It's very rude of you to make a suggestion about where and how I make my charitable contributions. That is something I was taught is NOT polite conversation in public. Especially from strangers."

That should end that line of conversation. You don't owe anyone any explanations about your hair and it's length.

jackiesjottings
February 27th, 2011, 09:41 AM
This seems to be something which doesn't happen here in the UK (or at least not much) so it has never been said to me. My hair is too thin to even think about donating anyway. But I think I would just come out with "Mind your own business".

Anywhere
February 27th, 2011, 10:01 AM
One of my friends actually said to me "You should cut your hair", and another said (not more than a week later) "Your ends are so thin and split, you should cut them. When was the last time you had a trim?". The first friend I was kind to, I said "No thanks". The second friend, however, is kind of a braggart and was busy gloating about her new bob cut, so she probably feels like the short hair ambassador right now. My ends are not split, but they are thin. I tried handling it as calmly as I could, saying "my ends haven't been washed in days and my hair isn't straight. Of course they look a little rough. It's none of your business anyway".

If she says anything again, I'll tell her "oh, why don't you shave your head then? I think you'd look lovely."

tigerhearted
February 27th, 2011, 12:52 PM
Thankfully I haven't gotten any of these yet!

If I got someone telling me to cut, I'd tell them that I really enjoy my hair as long as it is, it is less maintenance and up-keep, it gets super crazy curly and poofy and is a general pain in the ass when it is short. When it is long it is so much easier to take care of!

If I got someone telling me to donate it, I'd ask them when they are going to donate a kidney and get on the bone marrow donor list.

krissykins
February 27th, 2011, 12:56 PM
To the "You should donate your hair!" comment, I usually say, "Already did. It's my turn to enjoy my hair now."

And when people tell me to cut my hair, I'm usually like, "Why would I get rid of such beautiful hair??" Then I pet it and snuggle it :)

lapushka
February 27th, 2011, 03:47 PM
Depending on how it is said to me, I think I'd either politely say, "Yes, I probably should donate. I'll think about it, thank you for the suggestion." If I don't like their tone, however, anything goes. Then I think I'd say something silly like, "I did. I donated, but they didn't like it, gave it back to me and I stuck it back on." Then I'd smile as if I meant it. Will probably drive them batty. :p

jeanniet
February 27th, 2011, 03:57 PM
I haven't gotten this yet, but if someone said it to me, being the ornery person I am, I'd probably say "I don't want to" and walk away. :p Or maybe I'd say, "Hey, if I do that, can I stop giving money to the charities I help now?" Or "I'm sorry, why is my hair your business?"

Or maybe I'd just be nice and say, "No one has ever mentioned that to me. Thank you!" Polite, but still vague as to your intentions. I don't know why people think they can make comments like that. I don't ask people if they intend to donate blood, or a kidney, or have plastic surgery! :mad:

Yozhik
February 27th, 2011, 03:59 PM
Actually, this was kind of a milestone for me, since I guess my hair has finally gotten long enough for people to begin saying this to me (and that I should cut it - because shorter hair looks "sexier" :rolleyes:). On the other hand, obviously it's a bit distressing.

One of my friends recently told me (in a complimentary way) that I had really nice hair, so I should consider selling it. I told her that I wouldn't want anyone else to wear my hair, and that ended the conversation.

If someone tells me to donate it, I'd probably reply along the lines of "LOL is of the devil" or "donate your own hair/kidney."

EmiliaF
February 27th, 2011, 04:13 PM
If anyone ever said this to me I would ask them if they don't consider it selfish then to keep their hair short and cut it all the time instead of letting it grow long to be able to donate it.
Some people have this strange way of thinking that some things apply to others but not to themselves.

lapushka
February 27th, 2011, 04:28 PM
If anyone ever said this to me I would ask them if they don't consider it selfish then to keep their hair short and cut it all the time instead of letting it grow long to be able to donate it.
Some people have this strange way of thinking that some things apply to others but not to themselves.

Absolutely true, unfortunately.

LightSabr
February 27th, 2011, 04:30 PM
My hair has never been long enough (yet :eyebrows:) to get these kinds of comments. I hope someday that I will though. That will mean I've allowed my hair to grow nice and long instead of getting scissor-happy.:bounce:

jeanniet
February 27th, 2011, 04:31 PM
I guess what bothers me is that people would make assumptions that just because you choose not to do one (supposedly) charitable thing, you can't possibly be charitable in other ways. I mean, if Mother Theresa had had long, flowing hair, would people harp on her to donate it to LOL?

Angela_Rose
February 27th, 2011, 05:13 PM
"so when are you going to donate a kidney?"
"I donate blood & platelets, and I'm on the national bone marrow list. You?"

ole gray mare
February 27th, 2011, 05:57 PM
Usually when someone offers unsolicited advice about anything that is appearance related I simply say "Thank you for you advice" or "Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment." I don't feel the need for snappy comebacks because that just gives rise to drama and it's unlikely to change their behavior. Usually just acknowledging what someone says will stop the conversation.

AmbrosiaShadows
February 27th, 2011, 06:13 PM
My reply I usually "Oh, I'm planning to do that when I get sick of caring for it."

What I don't tell them is that I will probably never get sick of caring for it that much. (and do you all go on a rant about how you would never get sick of caring for your hair and how that I'm a horrible person for even suggesting such a thing. Because, really? You're trying to tell me that you've never had one of those days where it's just no behaving and so you say, 'the heck with this' and just throw it into a braid or bun and leave it for when you're feeling more patient)

My biggest pet peeve is when I go to the salon to get my hair cut, or get my makeup done for a performance, and, when they see my pencil-straight hair down and unstyled, they always grab it and tell me what an unflattering look my blunt-cut is and how I should let them style it. :justy:

jasper
February 27th, 2011, 07:00 PM
Well, I can say, "I did. In 2004."

And depending on who I am talking to, I can talk to them about things I have learned about LoL since the time I donated that make me think I will hang on to my own hair for the forseeable future.

EroSparrow
February 27th, 2011, 08:25 PM
My biggest pet peeve is when I go to the salon to get my hair cut, or get my makeup done for a performance, and, when they see my pencil-straight hair down and unstyled, they always grab it and tell me what an unflattering look my blunt-cut is and how I should let them style it. :justy:

I am 100% with you on that. Do you know what I say to the stylist? I first ask them to check the ends for splits and when they confirm that I don't have splits, and that my hair is in beautiful condition-- I make them guess when the last time I had a haircut was--- and they'll guess 2-3 months because most women cut their hair on impulse, and I will correct them and say, actually no. I got my haircut 6 months ago, and my hair is in amazing condition. And that's because I have that unsophisticated blunt hair cut that lets me keep my hair in amazing condition. And then I ask for someone else to cut my hair -- because why pay $60-100 dollars to get a blunt cut from someone who is so condescending? And then they finally learn that their job is not to make decisions about my hair, or tell me what I should do with my hair, or tell me that my hair is boring-- but its to give me the haircut that I want.

But back to the threat title: When people tell me to donate my hair, I say... "Oh yes, I'm sure that would be a very charitable thing to do with it... I'll certainly have to consider it... but wait, now that I think of it, would you then agree that your constant changing of hairstyles and frequent cuts are therefore incredible selfish? Shouldn't you instead be growing your hair out to donate? Instead of donating your hair to a child with cancer are so vain that you keep on cutting it and switching your look, and taking away from a child who really needs it?"

EroSparrow
February 27th, 2011, 08:27 PM
Thread title... not "threat title".

Mesmerise
February 27th, 2011, 08:43 PM
Well no one's ever told me I should donate my hair (at least not YET lol...I will consider it something of a victory when they do!!), but if that day comes my response will be something like.

"Oh have you done that?" and if they say "No," I will reply, "Well in that case why don't you grow it so that you can have the pleasure of donating it?"

I mean sheesh... if they're so big on hair donation and all, why not grow it themselves??

Oh and on hairdressers, I also hate it when they make stupid comments and suggestions like, "Would you like some layers put in". Me: "No!". Hairdresser later... "are you SURE you don't want layers." Me: "No, I really don't want layers." And so on and so forth :rolleyes:. I mean if I WANTED layers, I'd HAVE layers... obviously I don't or I'd have agreed the first time to let them layer it!!

ScarlettAdelle
February 27th, 2011, 08:51 PM
"Perhaps you should donate a limb to an amputee."

It's snarky, and sarcastic, yes. But it's also reserved for those who are being ridiculous and rude and insinuate that I'm being selfish by not donating my hair. I don't use it with people who are honestly curious as to why I don't. If they're being polite I answer "Because I like my hair long. I feel it suits me, and is easier to care for than short hair for me."

jil
February 27th, 2011, 08:59 PM
I've only had strangers or distant acquaintances say this too me. I usually think the snarky comment, but actually say something nice. I think most of the time people don't mean any disrespect, they simply don't think about the fact that your charitable donations are none of their business (whether its hair, blood, organs or money) .

elbow chic
February 27th, 2011, 10:01 PM
That would be really irritating. Most people have luxury items that "could" be donated to a worthier cause than their own personal enjoyment. A mid-priced bottle of wine could probably feed a Haitian family for a month!

kme81
February 27th, 2011, 10:29 PM
I usually just answer that, right now, I'm growing it out for my enjoyment and that maybe someday when I get tired of it, I'll donate. My friend has hair that grows super! fast and she donates 10+ inches about every 2 years...that blows my mind.

christine1989
February 27th, 2011, 10:33 PM
I'm pretty mean when people give me unwanted advice. If someone says "you should get a haircut" I usually respond with "you should get some botox" :laugh:.

Sherwood
February 27th, 2011, 11:05 PM
"Excuse me?" in the right tone of voice, and with a cold look, should put them in their place. But so far I haven't had the opportunity to use that.

fluffybunny
February 27th, 2011, 11:33 PM
How about starting with a polite "why do you think I should do that?" I imagine they'd stammer around a bit trying to come up with an answer, then if they come up with one of the misconceptions about you-know-what organization you can explain they don't actually give wigs to kids with cancer, etc. It just might put it back on them to justify the notion and think about what they're saying.

gthlvrmx
February 28th, 2011, 12:42 AM
One of my friends actually said to me "You should cut your hair", and another said (not more than a week later) "Your ends are so thin and split, you should cut them. When was the last time you had a trim?". The first friend I was kind to, I said "No thanks". The second friend, however, is kind of a braggart and was busy gloating about her new bob cut, so she probably feels like the short hair ambassador right now. My ends are not split, but they are thin. I tried handling it as calmly as I could, saying "my ends haven't been washed in days and my hair isn't straight. Of course they look a little rough. It's none of your business anyway".

If she says anything again, I'll tell her "oh, why don't you shave your head then? I think you'd look lovely."

Jajajaja. Hilarious.

Night_Kitten
February 28th, 2011, 07:59 AM
I have never had anyone suggesting I donate my hair (thankfully), I think that saying something like that is really rude, because it's none of their buisness how I look / wear my hair or what / how / when I donate or wether I donate at all, and they have no right trying to force me donating to make themselves feel better. If they care so much let them grow and donate their own hair...

If someone would say something like that to me, I would probably ignore and say nothing in reply (because I'm both too shy and can't think of a "good" comeback quickly enough...)
Later on I would probably dwell on what I should have said but didn't... something like "Your earrings / necklace / ring is really pritty, you should sell it and donate the money to _______(insert name of charity here)"

HeatherJenae
March 3rd, 2011, 06:47 AM
If you want to have some fun, just tell them that you're wearing hair extensions and you think it's so awesome they were tricked into believing it was real! Act super happy that someone thought it was your real hair. Then tell them where to go to buy it. Better yet, make up a place so that they go searching for it. Evil, I know. :)

Jeno86
March 3rd, 2011, 06:44 PM
I'm pretty mean when people give me unwanted advice. If someone says "you should get a haircut" I usually respond with "you should get some botox" :laugh:.

Oh this made me laugh! Sadly, I know I wouldn't think of something like that until way after the comment.

bparnell75
November 2nd, 2019, 06:02 PM
It finally happened to me.....My stepdaughter has never seen my hair down. When she found out how long it was she said it.....You should cut it and donate it. Nope I grew it for me. How callus can a casual comment be? They have no idea the pampering and loving care it took to do this.

Hexana
November 3rd, 2019, 01:53 AM
I hate it when people try to tell you what to do with your body (or any part of it). If I would be in a pissed-off mood when someone would say that to me I would probably say something like "Well you could donate one of your kidneys then..."

SpottedBackson
November 3rd, 2019, 04:25 PM
I like "Nope." Keeps it nice and simple.


This is not a response but is anyone else really off-put by the idea of someone else walking around with your hair on their head? I know it's more environmentally friendly then synthetic wigs but it seems really yeuch to me. You wouldn't wear any other body part from someone else so why wear their hair?!

blackgothicdoll
November 3rd, 2019, 06:06 PM
I like "Nope." Keeps it nice and simple.


This is not a response but is anyone else really off-put by the idea of someone else walking around with your hair on their head? I know it's more environmentally friendly then synthetic wigs but it seems really yeuch to me. You wouldn't wear any other body part from someone else so why wear their hair?!

There are egg donors, sperm donors, organ donors, even eye and face transplants. Hair transplants are a thing too, though normally done from hair follicles on the same body. Doesn't really bother me, as long as the person gave consent to donate/sell their hair.

cjk
November 3rd, 2019, 08:02 PM
I pull out my phone and show them my bald head. I *have* shaved with a cancer friend...now I'm growing back.

When will you be shaving your head?

SpottedBackson
November 3rd, 2019, 09:05 PM
There are egg donors, sperm donors, organ donors, even eye and face transplants. Hair transplants are a thing too, though normally done from hair follicles on the same body. Doesn't really bother me, as long as the person gave consent to donate/sell their hair.

Well sperm and organ donors make sense to me... sperm because it's pretty similar to, how do I phrase this, "personal donations"?:confused: And organs are donated out of necessity but wearing someone else's body parts purely for ornamentation seems too far.

Begemot
November 4th, 2019, 03:29 AM
"You should mind your own business"? I don't think donating your hair is really a thing where I live. Never heard anyone tell someone that they should donate their hair.

Milady_DeWinter
November 4th, 2019, 04:54 AM
I received my first "If you always wear you har up, just cut it" from a co-worker, that after asking how long it was started moaning how hot it should be in summer, where I answered that I wear it up most of the time.

I considered this comment to be very rude, esp the way she said it (she told me before that her hair was way more thick than mine some years ago, something that I seriously doubt since she has a bob of i wavy hair but well), like a sort of command.

I was tacken aback and responded "Why don't you just shave your head, if your own hair seems to annoy you so much". Well, I'm not known for my sweet character anyway :shrug:

Sarahlabyrinth
November 4th, 2019, 04:59 AM
Nobody has ever said this to me but I might say "I might think about it when it's long enough."

Arciela
November 4th, 2019, 10:42 AM
I'd just simply say "you donate yours, dont worry about what I do" and that should be the end of that.

Liz H
November 4th, 2019, 01:04 PM
I love both of these!


I hate it when people try to tell you what to do with your body (or any part of it). If I would be in a pissed-off mood when someone would say that to me I would probably say something like "Well you could donate one of your kidneys then..."


Nobody has ever said this to me but I might say "I might think about it when it's long enough."

Cg
November 4th, 2019, 03:59 PM
A simple smile is often effective. Enigmatic replies tend to stymie pursuit of the subject.

lapushka
November 4th, 2019, 04:23 PM
"You should mind your own business"? I don't think donating your hair is really a thing where I live. Never heard anyone tell someone that they should donate their hair.

It's not a thing where I live either.

lapushka
November 4th, 2019, 04:23 PM
I'd just simply say "you donate yours, dont worry about what I do" and that should be the end of that.

Simple but very effective answer, IMO!

MusicalSpoons
November 4th, 2019, 05:43 PM
A simple smile is often effective. Enigmatic replies tend to stymie pursuit of the subject.

Ooh I like! There have been so many excellent replies, some have really made me chuckle, but this one is one I'd most likely be able to use. Off-beat but polite enough for me not to worry about causing offence.

(I've only had one person say it to me, a co-worker with whom I had quite an amiable acquaintance-ship so I didn't want to offend. Happily another co-worker answered for me: 'Why should she? It's *her* hair!' :D)

It's not a huge thing over here yet, but I've heard of one organisation that seems to be genuine (Googling for facts / criticism / controversy about them turned up absolutely nothing untoward https://emojipedia-us.s3.dualstack.us-west-1.amazonaws.com/thumbs/240/whatsapp/215/face-with-party-horn-and-party-hat_1f973.png) - Little Princess Trust. It's nice to know that people have a good option here should they genuinely wish to donate hair, but if it becomes more popular I do hope people still mind their own hair business.

trolleypup
November 4th, 2019, 09:05 PM
Simple but very effective answer, IMO!
On a good day, I've done some of these, but really, usually it is stare them straight in the eye and use two short monosyllables.

Jo Ann
November 4th, 2019, 11:02 PM
On a good day, I've done some of these, but really, usually it is stare them straight in the eye and use two short monosyllables.

Why do I get the feeling those "two short monosyllables" are "You first"? :hmm:

trolleypup
November 4th, 2019, 11:18 PM
Why do I get the feeling those "two short monosyllables" are "You first"? :hmm:
Mmhmm. Mostly during the "Bitter Years"