i want to love my hair, but currently i hate it

[NJ_12]

Hi Ladies,

I have "bra strap length" hair, with long layers that can be as short as my shoulder. I want glorious long healthy hair like some of the ladies here. I had pin straight hair until puberty, when it started to frizz/curl.

As a teenager, it was about a 3a. now, as i'm in my late 20s, it's a 2a. I don't have nice waves or nice curls. instead, i have stringy limp hair. no body. nothing. my only options are flat iron, curling iron or put it in a braid.

i have no idea how to handle my hair. i know i need a trim, but i just don't want to lose my length. i do color my hair due to gray hairs.

i've been using brocato cloud 9 shampoo for years, and terax crema for years. Terax is the only thing that really saved my hair during a bleaching fiasco years ago.

as for products, when i'm try to go "curly" i put mousse in it and scrunch w/diffuser.

i need your help. i feel like a little kid that can't style their hair.

how do i handle unruly "wavy" hair? think miley cyrus, vanessa hudgens or ashlee simpson when their hair looks naturally scraggly.

http://www.hairstyleswebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/vanessa-hudgens-hair.jpg

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jjr/headlines/2009/01/miley-cyrus-pilates-class.jpg

so - i know that with the length, the curls get weighed down, etc. but i do not want short hair. i want long hair. and having such fine hair (and thin in places) doesn't help either.

sorry this is long, but any help/advice/tricks/tips you have would be so welcome.

[RancheroTheBee]

Bear in mind that a lot of celebrities have extensions, which do wonders for volume, but not necessarily the quality of your hair.

If you need a trim, get one. Hair simply doesn't look its best when it's damaged, no matter what the length is.

Also, a lot of mousses can be drying, and manipulating the hair while it's drying can unravel curls in some people. Mechanical damage from heat-styling could be attributing to any dryness or frizziness, but it will continue looking that way if the hair has been damaged.

HTH.

[NJ_12]

thanks for the advice re: mousse.

i should add i hate AS, MC and VH hair. i hate the stringy look. i want nice waves, a la victorias secret models. or curly. just..this in between stuff isn't working for me and i always have to heat style the front pieces regardless. it's such a mess.

i know. i need to get a trim. it's been a year. :(

[NJ_12]

my DREAM hair, is a member here. i forget her username.

but it's the 2nd to last, titled "bun curls"

http://images59.fotki.com/v420/photos/1/105445/394790/Multipicsig32004smaller-vi.jpg

it's the perfect hair, imo. i want it! LOL

[SpinDance]

Have you had time to read the newbie advice articles in the Articles (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php)section? Such as this (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=39)and this (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=65).

I've been slowly experimenting with different routines, shampoos, conditioners and oils since I joined. It's a slow process, finding out what works and doesn't work for your own hair, but the journey is well worth it.

[NJ_12]

no, i'll read them right now! thank you! :)

i hate the testing phases. i'm so impatient. i want nice hair NOW. lol

[Luna12345]

Your hair may not necessarily be damaged, it could be dry or have build up from products you use. A while ago I was considering chopping off some hair because I thought it was damaged but coconut oil made me change my mind.
I used vinegar to remove whatever build up I might have had , I did this after shampoo and then i used conditioner, and I decided to not use any of my leave in products and just apply some coconut oil to my ends. this made my hair so soft.
I love coconut oil !

[wavykisses]

Maybe you need to change and try some other brand of shampoo/condish?
Have you tried oiling? my hair is very fine and wavy and my hair is very happy with oils, cones used to weight it down and give me the most flat hair ever, know that I use oils in my conditioner like natural gates hemp condish or Aubrey organics
my hair has more volumen, my waves came back and I feel my hair much lighter. After I wash my hair i put some refined coconut oil and triple moon oil in it , before wash some unrefined coconut oil.
I also do some miniupdos form her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvlJhl_C-8U
her tutorials are for long hair but my hair is at APL and I can do some of the buns I even have I some complements of how I do my hair in certain way, she has literally save my hair from chopping it .
Hope you fine a solution for your hair,I know how you feel, my hair sounds a lot like yours.

[SpinDance]

i hate the testing phases. i'm so impatient. i want nice hair NOW. lol

I know :) but growing hair long is a long term commitment. I find that doing the long slow experimenting helps me be patient with the growth. I'm doing 'something' while waiting, if that makes sense. I found that switching to CWC and using oils helped the condition of my hair a lot. CO didn't work for me until I stopped using cones, which was a shock because I always thought my hair liked cones. The results proved me wrong, though.

Hang in there!

[heidihug]

my only options are flat iron, curling iron or put it in a braid.
Well, first of all, put down the flat and curling irons. They literally boil your hair from the inside out and will continue to ensure that you have limp, flat, broken and sad-looking hair. That's the first step. Next is follow the advice in the newbie links given above. Treat your hair like it is fine and delicate lace, and keep it in updos as much as possible. Braids are OK, if they are pinned up and not left down to let all the escapees rub and break from friction. Lastly, there is no magic product or routine which will heal or repair your hair. You can make it LOOK like it is in better condition than it really is, though, using the products and routines that work best for your hair in the many suggestions you will find on the LHC.

It took me years - probably five or so - to grow out and trim off the effects of a perm and curling iron damage to my hair. But, if you are truly willing to go the distance, you CAN do it.


Don't cut it (other than regular and small trims to eliminate the damaged ends)
Don't damage it any more than you already are
Most of all, and most importantly, be patient

[Anje]

Your hair texture sounds a lot like mine, actually. Assuming you've got it typed correctly. Mine gets stringy easily too. I'm told that having softer water helps, and it certainly doesn't seem to hurt with the stringiness -- if you have hard water and the opportunity, you might consider getting a water softener.

If you want loose curly waves, consider letting your hair get about half-dry, then bunning it and let it finish drying in a bun. Don't be surprised if drying takes a couple hours longer. Then fingercomb only. Letting hair dry in a snood, hairnet, or "plopped" also seems to encourage loose curls.

Be aware that most pictures that you see are hair at its most photogenic moments -- recently washed, recently combed, recently coiffed. Few of us have perfect hair after it's been left in an updo all day or has gone uncombed for hours.

[lapushka]

I don't have nice waves or nice curls. instead, i have stringy limp hair. no body. nothing. my only options are flat iron, curling iron or put it in a braid.

After a while of flat ironing, your hair can become so damaged from the heat that some of your natural texture can be affected, meaning you can have flat, stringy, awful looking pieces where it once waved, and curled beautifully. I've seen some fried hair from flat ironing! Heat styling is not the enemy here, just don't overdo it. The surest way of finding out you've overdone it, is if it starts affecting your texture.

Try looking into the Curly Girl method (it's all over the internet).

[jaine]

my DREAM hair, is a member here. i forget her username.

but it's the 2nd to last, titled "bun curls"

http://images59.fotki.com/v420/photos/1/105445/394790/Multipicsig32004smaller-vi.jpg

it's the perfect hair, imo. i want it! LOL

That looks like curls from a fully rolled sock bun but I could be wrong. Very pretty...I can't wait until mine is long enough for that!!

[DuckyDot]

Check out naturallycurly.com - I'm a member, it uses the Curly Girl method and I promise it's not dodgy!! Check out the forum there for hair advice, particularly the 2's section. (You'll find me as CurlyPolkaDot)

Also try and put down the heat tools! They're doing more damage then good!

[NJ_12]

i used to poke around on NC.com but plopping, etc is not for me.

[Athena's Owl]

it isn't? why not?