Problems with Daughter's Hair

[EverydayMiracle]

Hello everybody. I haven't been here in a while. I was having some major computer issues and now I'm in school full time, so it's hard to get a chance to be here.

My own growth has tapered off, and now I'm in the "Oh gosh I want to cut it!" phase. I'm not going to, but I need to push my hair so that I can get some more growth. It's stopped just shy of TBL. I'm so disappointed right now, and will probably start taking biotin again.

Anyway, my daughter is the problem here. She is three years old and her hair is thin and fine (compared to my very thick and moderately fine). The problem is that her hair keeps becoming very, very tangled. Recently it had to be cut (hacked right off) because there was nothing that we could do to work a tangle out of it. We comb her hair, leave the house, and by the time we reach the store, she looks like nobody ever brushes her hair. It also doesn't grow very fast, so I'm disappointed about the cut, but I don't know what else we could have done.

I've tried conditioners, not using shampoo on her hair, ACV, and nothing so far is conditioning her hair adequately for my taste. Any suggestions?

TIA!

[CareBear]

Have you heard of the tangle teaser? It can be found at Sally's Beauty Supply and online. You can search the forum here, I know there's at least one link for it. How long is her hair? Can it be kept in a pony? I had short hair as a kid for this very reason. Not to mention my scalp is sensitive and the comb outs would leave me in tears. Maybe there is a leave in product that someone can recommend?

[krissykins]

Have you tried oils? The Tangle Teezer is good for getting rid of tangles, not so much on preventing them...

[Maelyssa]

I went through the same thing with one of my daughters except her hair has lots of curls to further make things difficult. I can tell you that what worked for my daughter was #1 a cut above the shoulders....now it seems to have grown 2-3Xs thicker than it was. It is definitely no longer scraggly looking...much thicker than before. I think what happened is that the baby hair was all cut off & her big kid hair was left to grow in. Keep in mind she was 6 when this happened so your young lady might possibly need another cut down the road to get rid of the fine baby hair.
For her hair care routine I have yet to find anything that works better than shampooing & conditioning with David Babaii for WildAid Moisturizing Shampoo & Conditioner then following up with a dab of Herbal Essences Long Hair Relationship Conditioner as a leave-in. David Babaii can be a huge pain to find in stores & it's a bit pricey but absolutely nothing else...no other product of routine...has worked as well. Quite frankly it's been the best for my family all around. Right now we've just tried & failed at CO & I need to get more David Babaii but the RiteAid that usually carries it is currently out of stock so I've got to go take a drive elsewhere to pick it up.
Hopefully some of this info helps you out! Good luck for you & your little lady!

[skaempfer]

how old is your daughter and how long is her hair?

My youngest has fine curly hair. She's nine now, has classic length hair when wet tbl when dry. Right after it's been washed, she can get away with wearing it down; after that it also gets tangly. Basically, she just doesn't wear it down much. She'll wear it down sometimes for a party, but we go at it with the Tangle Teezer after that. It's not a miracle worker, but it helps a lot. I also condition it without washing from the ears down sometimes, and it spends a lot of time full of coconut oil and in a braid. More in than out. We'd have been for the hack a looooooooooong time ago if it weren't for braids.

Can you post a picture of the back of her head, maybe?

Good luck.

(ps- I only wash (with shampoo) it about every 10 days to two weeks...)

ETA: Derr. I see you said she's three. Be patient; my daughter's hair didn't thicken up and grow till she was about 5yo. Till then, teeny tiny pig tails and cute poofy pony tails high up on her head may help, that's what we did to stop it getting tangled.

[SheaLynne]

I agree with the others. My 6 yo dds hair changed alot between 3 and 5 yo. In fact, it went from straight to curly during that time, too. BIG changes in hair during that age.

SO...my biggest advice is to not assume that her hair will be what it was at 3 yo later on (iow, don't keep it above the shoulders her whole childhood *just* because that's what you felt it needed at age 3)

Here are some other things that have worked for us...

- keep it up (pigtails, topknot "bun"/ponytail not pulled all the way through the last time, braids)
- comb out and braid at night (this saves us lots of combing out in the mornings!)
- help her understand that if she wants longer hair, it does require taking care of it and spending some time putting it up and/or untangling
- we've used CO and olive oil with success...I avoid sprays and things that have to be washed out later because that just forces us to wash every day just to be able to comb it out, and her hair does not need that. She CO washes a couple times a week and may do a water-only of getting it wet a few other days.
- *always* put the hair back to eat...that keeps things like syrup and ketchup from getting in the hair and complicating the tangles

DDs hair is between tb and classic.

I hope you get some answers specific to the fine hair issue and how quickly the tangles come...but I think that may improve on its own over the next couple of years...

HTH!

[Orange Queen]

I used to have hair like that when I was a kid.
Really fine and really long. My mom mostly put it up in a bun or a high pony for me because if it was down it would tangle and look stringy and unbrushed. Took about an hour each morning to brush it out.
One thing that helped was a french braid at night. In the morning the hair would be tangle free and wavy. We would gently comb out the hair and the waves somewhat made it look less messy and didn't tangle as much through out the day.

[moomoo]

Was this the first time she's had a major haircut? I mean, other than trims or whatever? I used to work with children and I noticed that a lot of kids will keep the baby hair texture until they get a major haircut, then it seems to grow in thicker and transition to more grown up hair. That might not be accurate for everyone, but I think cutting off the baby fine wispies can really help with the tangling. I think you made the right choice -- IMO, healthy hair trumps long hair any day. I know I'd rather have 5 inches of great hair than 6 feet of hair that just needs to be cut.

By the way, I LOVE how much you've invested in your daughter's hair and experimenting and learning to manage it, even though it might still be a work in progress. I had difficult hair as a child, and I wish someone had taken the time to try to help care for it, rather than scolding me for looking messy.

[patienceneeded]

My daughter is almost 4 and her hair is just now making the transition from "baby" hair and actual "big girl" hair as far as texture goes. We use a tangle-teazer and I put her hair (at least the front) up and back or braided back as often as she'll let me. Luckily she is highly motivated to have Rapunzel's hair and is now much more willing to let me take care of it. All I have to do is mention Rapunzel or Princess-hair when she is getting stubborn about her hair and doesn't want to let me pull it back or braid it. Our current favorite is a lace-braid on both sides of her hair that transitions to a basic braid around her ears. I then use clips or barrettes to hold them in place. They stay all day. She's also into two french-braided pigtails lately. As long as it is how princesses wear their hair, she's good. ;) Her hair is about the same length as mine, about halfway between SL and APL. The front is not really long enough though to pull into a basic ponytail, hence the lace-braids. It is still baby-fine, but is slowly becoming more "adult" as she grows.

Getting a "real" haircut seemed to help. She has now had 3 "real" cuts at a salon, the last one being just a minor trim.

[AnnaJamila]

Well, I was lucky in that my hair never tangled that badly when I was little, but most of my friends/relatives saw their hair out of braids twice a day: once in the morning when the nights braids were combed out and re-plaited and once at night when it was either washed and dried or combed out again and re-plaited. They would do fancy things with it sometimes, but usually it was braids. They're very practical, they stay in all day, keep the hair out of the way and keep it from becoming a rat's nest! That's the best advice I can offer.

Oh, if she's one of those little girls who love ANYTHING girly, you can get her a special, fancy comb, brush and mirror set and she'll keep it combed out on her own. That might be a bit much for the average 3 yo, though!

[EverydayMiracle]

Thank you for the replies everybody. I hadn't considered at all that it could be an issue with her baby hair and needing to grow in her "big girl" hair. Her half sister never did get her adult hair at the age of eight. Long story, but I haven't seen her since then and she is now thirteen. So I'm not going to be able to rule out genetics on this one just yet.

I've tried oiling her hair. She hates it and it didn't improve the texture at all. Her hair is now just below her chin, and I can't quite get it up into a pony tail :(