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View Full Version : Convincing someone to trim?/finding alternatives



toodramatik
June 8th, 2008, 02:30 AM
My best friend has beautiful near classic length hair. But the problem is, her ends are really damaged, and really dry, and countless hairdressers have told her to trim them. But the fact is, the first and only time in her life she got a haircut, she cried her eyes out in regret, even though it wasn't drastic or ugly or anything, she's just really emotionally attached to her hair. But the fact is, she wants it to grow and I doubt it will unless she gets rid of the damage.

Does anyone know a way to convince her to trim, or atleast another way for her hair to grow?

Riot Crrl
June 8th, 2008, 02:39 AM
I would not attempt to proselytize hair care to anyone, unless they ask first. I'd be annoyed if someone came up to me and said "Oh hi, your hair would look really great if you just did xyz."

Siowiel
June 8th, 2008, 03:04 AM
I wouldn't try to convince her to trim, it is HER hair.

But if she mentiones herself that she is unhappy with the look of her ends, you could look into some advice this site offers together (deep moisture treatment, aloe vera, honey, search&destroy, cassia, different conditioner/shampoo, gentle handling....).

Nat242
June 8th, 2008, 03:37 AM
I'm echoing here: unless she asks for hair advice, don't give it to her.

What you could do is tell her that you know she loves her hair, and you've recently found this great forum about hair care, and if she's interested, give her URL to the Long Hair Community. She'll get lots of great tips for keeping ends healthy, and she might enjoy sharing her thoughts here.

-- Natalie

suicides_eve
June 8th, 2008, 06:52 AM
ok i am th enegitive voice to this post but i think if your relationship with her is the best friend level she would under stand if you talked to her and said something like "i know how much your hair means to you and it is so beautiful. have you ever considered a small trim?". I know my bestist and i can talk about ANYTHING, in fact i love to hear her opion b/c it means alot to me- now i don't do everthing she suggest vise versa, but it holds alot of weight as i know she would only suggest things that would be benifical to me health/beauty/love wise..

now you said she is in the process of growing out her hair- why not mention how benifical a small trim would be- prevents split end, helps keep length since the hair is not breaking. if she agrees but is put off my hair dressers-offer to a small trim if she trust you in that area(my b/f trust me no where near her garden i have a 'black thumb')


it aslo suggest in the OP that you haven't yet asked her- you can't really "convince" her in to doing it - only list reason why it would be in her favor to do so

hurricane_gia
June 8th, 2008, 11:18 AM
When I was in high school, my best friend loved to play with my hair. But one day, she sighed and said, "Allright, I've had enough, you are coming over to my house tomorrow and I am going to Trim This Hair." And I let her, because I trusted her. She did a really good job, too. Gosh I miss her!

Of course, the super-direct approach doesn't work for everyone. :D

Maybe instead of critiquing her hair, you bring up the subject of *your* hair and say something about how must faster your hair seems to grow after you trim off the damage. A natural way to bring this into the conversation is to sit with your friend and chat about the usual stuff you chat about, and at some point, you bring out your S&D scissors and start pruning your own ends. If she asks you what you're doing, explain that you are preventing hair-breakage by trimming off the split ends, etc.

If she still isn't interested in trimming her own hair, at least you can try to tempt her into a SMT or putting a hair-butter on the ends.

Aisha25
June 8th, 2008, 11:23 AM
I say don't pressure her it'll make her feel like everyone is against her when all she wants is her long hair. I know it's how I'll feel if someone kept telling me to get trim. Be supportive and tell her things about honey oils and stuff like that maybe it's all she needs? Just my :twocents:

jojo
June 8th, 2008, 11:30 AM
Its her hair at the end of the day and has to be her decision, but you could point her in the LHC direction and show her the link on fayes cutting method, but if she refuses again thats her choice.

spidermom
June 8th, 2008, 11:34 AM
I was thinking about the same as HG. Do some S&D in front of her and talk about how much better your hair grows when the splits are trimmed off, maybe bring up/demonstrate self-trim.

I had a friend in the past who had really terrible ends, and she wanted her hair to grow longer. I offered to trim it on a few occasions, telling her that it would grow longer when the ends weren't breaking off, and she would say something like "maybe one of these days," but that day never came.

toodramatik
June 8th, 2008, 10:45 PM
Thanks for the advice guys. I think i'm just going to tell her about oils/conditioning etc. but it's a little difficult since she's just usually "not bothered" >.< but i'm making her use amla atm.

as for s & d my ends are perfectly split end less lol

Xan
June 8th, 2008, 11:00 PM
I know how she feels its hard to lose any length especially since she has never cut, so maybe the s&d with some quality oil would do the trick.

Siowiel
June 9th, 2008, 01:00 AM
but i'm making her use amla atm.



You are MAKING her use amla? Honestly...

Perhaps it doesn't agree with her hair. Perhaps she doesn't want to bother. Perhaps she doesn't want you to care....

Remeber: First things first. First thing is always your own business ;)