Feeling so down about it all....Need some MAJOR hair advice

[yellowflower]

I really need some advice, my hair is really in such a bad state after 2 bleaching sessions to get blonde hair back that I dyed dark.

I don't know if anyone else has been here, but I dyed my hair dark which I really hated!!! So I wanted to go back blonde I spent a fortune, and I am still not happy they are the odd gingery/brassy strands here and there, I really hate the colour its horrible compared to how nice it was before, I hate looking in the mirror as I feel such as horrible mess. It made me so depressed about my hair it even ruined my relationship with my partner, I couldnt even get out of bed because I felt so ugly, people keep saying oh its only hair it will grow....yes I know but for the nexy year and a half till it grows out I am stuck with rock bottom confidence, I feel like everyone is looking at me thinking what a state.

I decided to stop the bleaching to get back to the colour I was because my hair is just awful state at the moment I dont think it could take anymore colour i think it would go green!!!

It just feels so horrible to feel such a state, everywhere I go i am constantly checking in the mirror to see how it looks, everytime I look in the mirror I can see it. I spend hours checking over the colour constantly. The only time I am happy is at night when its dark and can't really see the colour properly. To make it worse the person who works in my office keeps going on about it, which drives me insane.

I am getting it cut in couple weeks, its really curly so cant have it really short other wise believe me I would, I have even had times when I have thought about shaving my head off completly I hate it so much.

I just want it to hurry up and grow.

I think everyone here will better understand how it makes you feel, you cant take your hair off, its like being dressed in a outfit you hate permenantly. I am so fed up with everyone comments of oh it will grow.

Thanks for reading that if you are at the end now, i just feel so awful.

I have started taking vitamins to help it grow changed my diet to include more fruit/veg and protein. Ive also started exercising more as I read that helps hair grow....dont know if thats true.

But not what else can I do to try and help my hair......

and anything that will speed up growth to get the colour out???

[Aredhel77]

Oh, you poor thing.

Could you try a shampoo-type wash in/wash out ash-toned dye to help with the brassiness? You know the sort that come in sachets to provide a very temporary tint. I can't think of any brands but I know they do exist. Purple/violet toned shampoos for grey/silver hair might also help as they are tinted to help deal with brassiness. They wouldn't deposit loads of colour on your hair so I don't think you'd have to worry about it turning green LOL.

I once lightened my hair from a dark shade using a colour remover and it resulted in white roots with ginger ends! This was many years ago, when I didn't know better, and I ran to a pharmacy with a woolly hat on to purchase a mid-blonde permanent colour to get it to a more normal shade - my poor hair! :rolleyes: I'm amazed it didn't fall out. I used the sachet-type tints I mentioned above to get it to a more manageable shade while I was growing it out.

In the meantime I'd recommend lots of moisture - perhaps SMT 's (A mix of conditioner, aloe and honey moisturising treatments) to help your parched hair. Search for Snowy's Moisture Treament and you'll see the instructions.

Good luck, and try to stay positive, your hair will improve. We're all here for you!

[Maverick494]

I´ve been exactly where you´ve been.

When I was 18 I dyed my dark blonde hair black on impulse (stupid, stupid decision) and after I got tired of keeping up with the roots, I went to the hairdresser to dye it back blonde again. Well, It turned out as an orange, fried mess. They had to cut off a whole lot. The next day, I wore a beanie to school, I was that ashamed.

Anyway, what to do? Well, first off, leave it alone for a while and use deep conditioning treatments. Though you can't repair damaged hair, you can make dry, frazzly hair look better again. But you should wait atleast a month before you colour again, if you want to salvage what's left of your hair that is. It will be hard, but if you look around there are plenty of young people sporting horrible looking hair. You're not alone out there.

I became known as the beanie girl. I always wore beanies to school and just let my hair grow. At other times, I wore hats, which I tucked my hair under. This concealed the roots and much of the horrible colour and people said I looked good that way.

Anyway, after 3 months (or more, I can't really recall) I went to the hairdresser and told them I wanted a tint back. This means that the hairdresser tries to match your natural haircolour as much as possible. I ended up with a medium golden blonde (she was afraid of making me too dark, as I would have to repeat the whole thing allover again).

So be patient, be creative and baby your hair.

[yellowflower]

I´ve been exactly where you´ve been.

When I was 18 I dyed my dark blonde hair black on impulse (stupid, stupid decision) and after I got tired of keeping up with the roots, I went to the hairdresser to dye it back blonde again. Well, It turned out as an orange, fried mess. They had to cut off a whole lot. The next day, I wore a beanie to school, I was that ashamed.

Anyway, what to do? Well, first off, leave it alone for a while and use deep conditioning treatments. Though you can't repair damaged hair, you can make dry, frazzly hair look better again. But you should wait atleast a month before you colour again, if you want to salvage what's left of your hair that is. It will be hard, but if you look around there are plenty of young people sporting horrible looking hair. You're not alone out there.

I became known as the beanie girl. I always wore beanies to school and just let my hair grow. At other times, I wore hats, which I tucked my hair under. This concealed the roots and much of the horrible colour and people said I looked good that way.

Anyway, after 3 months (or more, I can't really recall) I went to the hairdresser and told him I wanted a tint back. This means that the hairdresser tries to match your natural haircolour as much as possible. I ended up with a medium golden blonde (she was afraid of making me too dark, as I would have to repeat the whole thing allover again).

So be patient, be creative and baby your hair.

I dont want to put anymore colour on it, it was bleached, then the hairdresser dyed it red then dark on top said had to dye red first so wouldnt go green, then I had it bleached then bleached again 2 weeks later, so I really dont think anymore colour is a good idea, some places are really fluffy and no curl left where it is so ruined.

I just want the year to go quickly, I am sat here in tears just writing this. It just makes me feel so awful that I had really nice hair then went and completly recked and spent a fortune on the way to hair that i still dont even like.


Oh, you poor thing.

Could you try a shampoo-type wash in/wash out ash-toned dye to help with the brassiness? You know the sort that come in sachets to provide a very temporary tint. I can't think of any brands but I know they do exist. Purple/violet toned shampoos for grey/silver hair might also help as they are tinted to help deal with brassiness. They wouldn't deposit loads of colour on your hair so I don't think you'd have to worry about it turning green LOL.

I once lightened my hair from a dark shade using a colour remover and it resulted in white roots with ginger ends! This was many years ago, when I didn't know better, and I ran to a pharmacy with a woolly hat on to purchase a mid-blonde permanent colour to get it to a more normal shade - my poor hair! :rolleyes: I'm amazed it didn't fall out. I used the sachet-type tints I mentioned above to get it to a more manageable shade while I was growing it out.

In the meantime I'd recommend lots of moisture - perhaps SMT 's (A mix of conditioner, aloe and honey moisturising treatments) to help your parched hair. Search for Snowy's Moisture Treament and you'll see the instructions.

Good luck, and try to stay positive, your hair will improve. We're all here for you!

I dont want to put anything with ash on it as I have been pre-warned that it could turn out green. What is SMTs...is that under snowy's moisture treatments.

I keep thinking I should have left it dark and just got a spray tan instead....but cant keep thinking like that, ive done what i have done so have to live with it. Thought I was past the stages of dying hair bad colours, thought thats what you only do when your younger.

[Maverick494]

:blossom: Ah, that´s horrible. Well then, the last thing you can do is buy the silver shampoo´s and conditioners that somewhat neutralize the brassy tones. My dad uses them to keep his white hair looking white instead of sickly yellow.

Here´s a great article by Nighshade about hairdamage and what to do about it:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79

It was really helpful to me. I will post some before and after pictures of my hair soon.

[Aredhel77]

I dont want to put anything with ash on it as I have been pre-warned that it could turn out green. What is SMTs...is that under snowy's moisture treatments.

I keep thinking I should have left it dark and just got a spray tan instead....but cant keep thinking like that, ive done what i have done so have to live with it. Thought I was past the stages of dying hair bad colours, thought thats what you only do when your younger.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128&highlight=Snowymoon%27s+moisture

Ta da! Here you go. We can make mistakes with colour at any age :grouphug: but I think you have come to the right place for advice - you'll certainly be able to improve the health of your hair at any rate, it may take a little while but it will get better.

Also, I don't mean to overload you with information, but Nightshade, a member here wrote a good article on how to rehabilitate damaged hair. Again, it takes time but there's some good advice here.

This is the link: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79

ETA: LOL! Maverick, you beat me to it :D

[Lianna]

I've bleached brown dye too, but wasn't that hard to get out..I went a caramel shade (my avatar), so it wasn't damaging. I find that blue shampoo/grey hair shampoo help with the orange and yellow tones. While I think purple only helps with yellow for people with extremelly light hair, which isn't my case (and not yours I think). Anyway, purple didn't work for me, my advice is get a blue shampoo! :)

If you cannot by any means stand the orangey color (hey, people might think you're a redhead though!), try a semi permanent color in ash tones.

I've done henna too, and was quite pleased with the color for quite a while. Some people really want that orange glare henna gives! :) So another idea is embraced it, and do a henna gloss. :D Usually makes the hair stronger and gives awesome shine, not to mention a natural copper shade on lighter hair (like I think yours is). This thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2963) has awesome color shots.

[yellowflower]

:blossom: Ah, that´s horrible. Well then, the last thing you can do is buy the silver shampoo´s and conditioners that somewhat neutralize the brassy tones. My dad uses them to keep his white hair looking white instead of sickly yellow.

Here´s a great article by Nighshade about hairdamage and what to do about it:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79

It was really helpful to me. I will post some before and after pictures of my hair soon.

Thanks for that I just read it, if my hair was straight I would deffinatly be going pixie right now, but that is not an option unfortunatly :(


I've bleached brown dye too, but wasn't that hard to get out..I went a caramel shade (my avatar), so it wasn't damaging. I find that blue shampoo/grey hair shampoo help with the orange and yellow tones. While I think purple only helps with yellow for people with extremelly light hair, which isn't my case (and not yours I think). Anyway, purple didn't work for me, my advice is get a blue shampoo! :)

If you cannot by any means stand the orangey color (hey, people might think you're a redhead though!), try a semi permanent color in ash tones.

I've done henna too, and was quite pleased with the color for quite a while. Some people really want that orange glare henna gives! :) So another idea is embraced it, and do a henna gloss. :D Usually makes the hair stronger and gives awesome shine, not to mention a natural copper shade on lighter hair (like I think yours is). This thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2963) has awesome color shots.

It is not as bright as some of those pictures, a sandy/golden blonde is how some people have described it, im not sure if they are just being nice, its not all over brassy there is just a few strands here and there and there is quite a few near the top which is annoying as I can see them when i pull my hair back, I had that bit re-bleached as it was orange, so thats toned down but can still see it in some lights. The only thing i like is my 0.5" roots.

Some of the areas are just so dry and frizzy

My hair is so dry I cant even use shop conditioners as they wont get the comb through my hair, I have to use salon ones due to all the bleach

[Juanita]

Try using some Shea Butter on your hair. It seems to absorb into hair beautifully. Softened and moiseturised my ends that were so dry while growing dye out.

[yellowflower]

i bought some headbands just got home and tried one on and it looks ridiculous, i guess im stuck looking like absolute complete mess for the next 18months

[Medievalmaniac]

Can you try a Cassia treatment, or catnip? That and some good oiling might help you get to a place you are comfortable with as far as color and texture go, as you are growing out.

As someone who has also been every color under the sun and had more than my fair share of bad hair days, I definitely understand where you are coming from! Henna is my best friend now when it comes to hair care.

[turquoisebud]

Oh, I'm sorry. :( Have you tried coconut oil or olive oil on the ends? I put some coconut oil on just the ends at night and in the morning my hair has soaked it all up. I use just enough that both my hands are shiny and then sort of glide my hands over the ends and then gently rub it in. Try it, it will help your ends moist so at least there is no more damage done. Hope this works for you! :)

[Doxie]

I understand where you are. I've gone threw the same thing. My personal experiance was that the more I tried to "fix" my hair the worse my hair got. Not until I had let my hair rest did it really start getting back to normal. Hair toys are a start but all I can say really is I feel your pain and just try and just give it time. Don't let it get you down because it will get better.

[luluj]

I came to TLHC "after" cutting off all of the oxidized, crunchy, tangerine hair dye. It was known as my "down to the wood chop." I hated it, cried all the way home....."but".....it really was the best choice at the time. You see, I hated the condition of my hair before the chop even more. At least I could watch my natural, healthy hair begin to emerge, and after a month or so I started to feel very good about myself, actually happy with my hair for the first time in a long, long time. Now, I'm not saying you should "pixie" your hair, I'm just saying that it is an option, one that worked for me. You can see my "chop" photos in my album......Good Luck to you:grouphug:

[owlathena]

Ah, been there. Many times. I used to bleach, and then want to go dark again, and then bleach again, back and forth every couple of months for years. My hair was in terrible shape. I suggest using oil on it (coconut, jojoba, shea butter, whatever you want), finding some cute headbands, and just try to leave it alone for a few months. Its so awful having to walk around feeling ashamed of whats on your head. Just know, it gets better sooner than you think it will. The brassy areas will fade (you could try honey lightening?) and the condition of your hair will get better once you put down the dye and oil it regularly for a couple months. HTH

[yellowflower]

Thanks everyone I feel abit better, yes i agree Doxie, the more I have tried to fix the worse it has got, I will try and get some coconut oil in the week from the health shop. I know once i get a good 3" of root I will be happier as I can tie it up and I will mainly then only be able to see my roots.
I would love to pixie my hair, but I dont think my curls would look great when growing back as they need the weight to weigh them down.


Ah, been there. Many times. I used to bleach, and then want to go dark again, and then bleach again, back and forth every couple of months for years. My hair was in terrible shape. I suggest using oil on it (coconut, jojoba, shea butter, whatever you want), finding some cute headbands, and just try to leave it alone for a few months. Its so awful having to walk around feeling ashamed of whats on your head. Just know, it gets better sooner than you think it will. The brassy areas will fade (you could try honey lightening?) and the condition of your hair will get better once you put down the dye and oil it regularly for a couple months. HTH

Hi I just looked at your profile and your hair looks really healthy how did you manage it if you kept going backwards and forwards with the colour?

I cant wait for the day when all this colour has grown out and I can look back at this day, instead of being stuck in it right now.


Can you try a Cassia treatment, or catnip? That and some good oiling might help you get to a place you are comfortable with as far as color and texture go, as you are growing out.

As someone who has also been every color under the sun and had more than my fair share of bad hair days, I definitely understand where you are coming from! Henna is my best friend now when it comes to hair care.

What is cassia or catnip?

[NouvelleNymphe2]

I'm sorry to hear that. I agree with many others, oil and deep conditioning for the damage. Have you seen the post regarding Nightshade's (I believe) home made deep conditioner? It has EVOO, honey, and a no-cone conditioner. I do this and it does wonders! Also, honey takes down brassiness, consider looking at Ktani's honey thread. I have done a ton of cassia and honey treatments on my dull light-medium brown (with blond highlights) hairs, and they look great right now! If you want to see a before and after pic check out my profile. My signature line is my current color, and I'm lovin it. Also, I've burnt my hairs off before, they will grow back with lots of TLC you can get them allll back and in good shape! Courage chérie :)!

[yellowflower]

so if i put honey in my conditioner it will take away brassyness??

[Lianna]

so if i put honey in my conditioner it will take away brassyness??

Honey makes my hair brassier, it lifts the blue pigments first. I use hairdyes just to fill my hair with them from time to time, which removes brassiness (and roots to lighten of course).

[NouvelleNymphe2]

perhaps it might with continued usage. i don't think it would have a dramatic effect right away, but with continued use it might help. i actually put honey +EVOO+camelia oil+cinnamon in a bowl and mix it with my Aubrey Organics conditioner (Luxurious Camomile) and i leave that on my head all night. i wrap it with plastic wrap and ripped up old shirts. sometimes it's a little drippy, but i'm always sleeping with something on my hairs so i don't mind ;)


Honey makes my hair brassier, it lifts the blue pigments first. I use hairdyes just to fill my hair with them from time to time, which removes brassiness (and roots to lighten of course).

oh goodness, sorry if i gave bad advice there, i thought it toned down my ashy and brassy. but perhaps i am wrong then. take a look at my before and after pics, and perhaps that will give you a better idea of the effect. it is subtle.

[yellowflower]

I think my best option is to just let it be, hopefully December will come round nice and quickly this year :)

Its nice to be able to come here and talk to people who have been through the same or wont just say its only hair.... like i said to luluj, its like telling a man to go out dressed as a woman, and then say why are you moaning....its just clothes.

I wil get some coconut oil in the week i think is my first thing

[Lianna]

oh goodness, sorry if i gave bad advice there, i thought it toned down my ashy and brassy. but perhaps i am wrong then. take a look at my before and after pics, and perhaps that will give you a better idea of the effect. it is subtle.

I've tried honey lightening a lot. :p While it did lighten my already dyed hair a bit, it left brassy. Most medium tone blondes are left with brassier hair after honey. Blue shampoo/conditioners is really the best advice here. But I've seen pictures on this board that left hair less brassy, however the hair was almost platinum blonde.

I don't put honey on my conditioner anymore, though it's a nice treatment (heat it a bit if you don't want lightening). Heating honey is more work that I wanna do just for a treatment, at the moment.

Like you said, OP, your hair is not that brassy! :) Will look great in time, just try the shampoo.

ETA: "Brassy hair" is really just a few more warm tones (yellow, red) than one wants. It's not really good or bad. I saw your pics, you had ashy blonde hair, now it's a bit more honey like, warmer tone. The OP wants less warm tones.

[yellowflower]

I've tried honey lightening a lot. :p While it did lighten my already dyed hair a bit, it left brassy. Most medium tone blondes are left with brassier hair after honey. Blue shampoo/conditioners is really the best advice here. But I've seen pictures on this board that left hair less brassy, however the hair was almost platinum blonde.

I don't put honey on my conditioner anymore, though it's a nice treatment (heat it a bit if you don't want lightening). Heating honey is more work that I wanna do just for a treatment, at the moment.

Like you said, OP, your hair is not that brassy! :) Will look great in time, just try the shampoo.


where can you get these shampoos? and is coconut oil ok to use?

[Lianna]

Coconut oil is okay, just don't overdo it because some get crunchy ends (clariflying would repair this).

Well, I'm from Brazil and can get these shampoos from the supermarket, I just use one for grey hair. I'm sorry I can't point you out to stores since we don't live in the same place. But online shopping is always an option. I've seen people recommending Aveda products for this.

ETA: I searched the name, it's called Blue Malva, but any blue shampoo/grey hair shampoo would do. Also, you don't need to use it everytime you wash.

[BelleLoupGarou]

Been there...lol. More than once! I had a horrible experience with wanting to bleach my hair blond and I did it twice, back to back. My hair was SOOOO fried! Then when I didnt like the results I went over it with a brown color and to cover the bleach I had to do it twice, back to back. SOOOO horrible. And thats just one of the times I abused my hair in such a manner, Ive done that plenty of times. The good thing about it though is that the dark hair color faded quite a bit and I was left with this really beautiful honey brown color that was very close to my natural color. Dont lose heart. We live and learn! Unfortunately, lol, I lived and learned the hard way. :cool:

[Alvrodul]

You have received a lot of good advice here, yellowflower! SMTs would certainly help, and so would oils, and coconut oil is among the best for hair - certainly a lot of LHCers swear by it. But there are other oils out there, too, and what works for one person won't necessary work for another.
As for henna - it can certainly help your hair look better, but I would actually suggest that you wait and try other things first, mainly because henna is so very permanent. And if you do want to henna, research it very thoroughly first! Personally, I love henna and what it does to my hair, but it does not work for everybody.
And since your hair is fairly damaged by the chemicals, it is unfortunately possible that said damage might lead to a less-than-satisfactory result with henna.
Cassia on the other hand should give you most of the benefits of henna without the spectacular color - but research that, too! Look in the Articles section on this site, and there is also much useful information in the threads in the "Recipes, henna and herbal hair care" section.
Good luck with your hair!:)

[rose.grace]

I cant wait for the day when all this colour has grown out and I can look back at this day, instead of being stuck in it right now.
Pretend it's already that day. See your hair as being exactly the way you want it. Imagination goes a long way to making yourself calm and happy.

You might try Fanciful rinses in Platinum Plus (http://www.hairsupermarket.com/p/2817) or Shy Violet (http://www.hairsupermarket.com/p/2821/?r=16) (which I've used in the past to correct brassiness). Depends on how dark/light your hair is whether you use Platinum or Violet. It's a hassle to use and quite messy; it washes out every time you shampoo but it will make you feel like you're doing something to help correct the problem in the interim.

Sometimes you have to just accept you "oops"ed and go on with life. Keep smiling anyway. Humbling experiences like this build character. The day will come when you look back on this and laugh. You learned a lesson. Try to always think in a positive manner. Your mood will show on your face. Joy is the greatest beauty asset. Stress does not contribute to the health or beauty of your hair, so don't stress yourself over it.

Most lessons we learn in life are costly. Your vanity/pride has taken a hit and your co-worker seems to be the type to kick someone when they're down. Pay no attention to her and don't let her negativity infect you.:lala: Let people see that you're strong inside and that her harping on your problem will make her look small.

Right now, I'm growing out henna... there's no way I can cover it up or change how it looks (very funky! :oops:), but I smile and laugh and tell people I just couldn't resist trying it (which is the truth). And I'll always have this nice bright red "bottom" to my hair that will remind me never to do this again, because no matter what, I'm not cutting it.

Pamper yourself and your hair and scalp and keep busy. Don't stop going out and about and socializing. Before you know it, this will all be in the past.

On the upside, after this experience you'll be very understanding and sympathetic of other women who find themselves in the same situation, and I bet there will be many! :flower:

[yellowflower]

Thank you rose-grace, its really helpful to hear that. I cant wait till this is in the past, i keep thinking about whether to dye brown over it but then its because I dyed it dark that I am in this mess in the first place, and also a hairdresser told me it could go green because of bleaching it twice now....is this true?

[Lianna]

...
Cassia on the other hand should give you most of the benefits of henna without the spectacular color...

Cassia adds yellow tones to light hair, as I understood she wanted less, since she even bleached some that were too yellow.

[Lianna]

Thank you rose-grace, its really helpful to hear that. I cant wait till this is in the past, i keep thinking about whether to dye brown over it but then its because I dyed it dark that I am in this mess in the first place, and also a hairdresser told me it could go green because of bleaching it twice now....is this true?

Indigo goes green, not henna. I've bleached henna. Henna is like permanent color...bleach to get rid of it.

[ladycaladium]

I'm sorry you're not happy with the color. I once had moldy green/gray colored hair (not a good look and not the look I was going for). I'm not real sure what to do for the brassiness. Coconut oil, as others have said, for moisture. Also, hats and scarves. They can look real cute and cover up what you don't want people to see. I hope December comes quickly for you so that you are happier with your hair. Try not to dwell on it (I know that's hard. If you tell someone not to think about cake all they can think about it cake). And like rose.grace said, don't stop socializing. Good luck!

[rose.grace]

Thank you rose-grace, its really helpful to hear that. I cant wait till this is in the past, i keep thinking about whether to dye brown over it but then its because I dyed it dark that I am in this mess in the first place, and also a hairdresser told me it could go green because of bleaching it twice now....is this true?

Yes... I've had it happen to me. :o Especially if you use semi-permanent brown over the bleached hair. Very hilarious, and very punk! No matter what, keep smiling, it does wonders for your self confidence. As the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it!"

And watch Marx Brothers movies... they'll make you laugh in spite of everything! :p

[yellowflower]

Yes... I've had it happen to me. :o Especially if you use semi-permanent brown over the bleached hair. Very hilarious, and very punk! No matter what, keep smiling, it does wonders for your self confidence. As the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it!"

And watch Marx Brothers movies... they'll make you laugh in spite of everything! :p

Did yours go green then? If i wanted to go dark i would have to dye it red first then dark and there is no way my hair could take another 2 lots of dye.

Yes i think i am just going to have to fake it until I make it, its so hard when all you want to do is hide under the duvet

[Lianna]

Oh my, I've read something wrong! I have a lot going on at the moment, I apologize! It's about dyeing over with brown, somehow I read bleaching indigo. o.O

Anyway, to dye brown over very light hair, 2 processes are needed. Usually is a hairdye close to the color you want, then the actual color you want. Else, it does go green. Sorry. There was a thread about it with more detail.

[yellowflower]

I'm sorry you're not happy with the color. I once had moldy green/gray colored hair (not a good look and not the look I was going for). I'm not real sure what to do for the brassiness. Coconut oil, as others have said, for moisture. Also, hats and scarves. They can look real cute and cover up what you don't want people to see. I hope December comes quickly for you so that you are happier with your hair. Try not to dwell on it (I know that's hard. If you tell someone not to think about cake all they can think about it cake). And like rose.grace said, don't stop socializing. Good luck!

I bought some headbands but they look so ridiculous. Maybe I could try a scarf instead

[dropinthebucket]

What is your natural hair colour? I've had my hair box blonde, dyed brown, dyed brown again, and it was ruined, too. And I had times where I hated it so much, I wanted to cut it off! But I found henna, and have never been so happy. Well, hendigo to be more precise - it totally saved my hair. I still have about half the length previously treated and then hendigoed over, and the rest is virgin, medium brown. There's almost no demarcation line. If you're blonde, though, or light brown, henna won't match it. Just baby it and trim as it grows. Before you know it, you will have your hair back! :)

[yellowflower]

No idea havent seen my natural colour in about 8 years, before i started dying it was blonde with dark roots, now I have dark roots so i guess i am a brownish colour but my hair is very porous so lightens very easliy by the sun hence why my dark hair was blonde when i was a teenager. I guess i shouldnt dye anymore and just leave it alone and try to think about other things in the mean time, just get it cut and condition, oil etc well. And hopefully in a year's time this will all be over....

[Imnotarobot]

Trust me, I know how you feel about hating your hair. I had it cut way too short than I wanted it, mainly because I screwed it up by cutting it myself. The longest bits barely reach my chin. I have learned my lesson (at least, for now I have :o), and know it's time for you to learn your lesson too. DO NOT dye your hair ever again. Stop complaining, or feeling bad, because that is not going to make your hair grow faster.
If I were you, I would try to cut it as short as possible to make it as healthy as possible. Use a lot of conditioner, too.

[NouvelleNymphe2]

No idea havent seen my natural colour in about 8 years, before i started dying it was blonde with dark roots, now I have dark roots so i guess i am a brownish colour but my hair is very porous so lightens very easliy by the sun hence why my dark hair was blonde when i was a teenager. I guess i shouldnt dye anymore and just leave it alone and try to think about other things in the mean time, just get it cut and condition, oil etc well. And hopefully in a year's time this will all be over....

You WILL get there. My hair is quite porous as well, and is an ashy medium-light brown with blond/gold highlights. I really do love cassia and encourage you to do some research about it. Along with all of your oiling and conditioning it could provide some strength and corn yellow color blond. Again, I've burnt off my hairs more than once. It is a bad cycle to get into. As my signature shows, I'm really trying to kick ALL chemicals, heat, and cones in 2011, and beyond!!:cheer:

[dropinthebucket]

Sounds like you are feeling a bit better about it, that's great! I have NO PATIENCE, LOL, and needed my hair brown right away. Hey, I was gonna have to cut it off anyway to fix the mess, so why not henna? As damaged as my hair was, the hendigo took fairly well. It did take a couple of application to get the indigo to stick properly, but the results were well worth it.

Keep in mind that henna/indigo are not dyes in the chemical man-made sense -- they absolutely will not damage your hair, they will only improve it, as they are pure plant powders. Only get BAQ quality henna, with indigo, don't take any chances on packaged brands given the previoius chemical dyes you have on the hair. The keratin in the henna structurally binds with the hair to stengthen it and smooth it out. One of God's plant gifts to us! It's also a pretty good cover for whatever multiple types of dye you have, evening out colour really well. I had the brilliant idea of letting my former hairdresser put brown, red, and dark blonde streaks in my three-times coloured hair. I hated it, I had so many colours. The hendigo just seemed to even them all out, though, like some kind of magic.

However, if hendigo brown doesn't match your natural colour, then you may not be as happy with it as I was. The fact that it matches my own colour has meant I don't have to deal with roots and re-application. My avatar is virgin for about 3 inches, and hendigo for the rest. You can still see a bit of colour difference in streaks, but nothing compared to the horrible tiger job I came out of the hairdressers with. There are some great suggestions in the thread, I'm sure you'll find something that will help - good luck with it! many of us have been there.

[Roscata]

I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. I have SO been there and you'd think I would have learned the first time but no I did it over and over again. But hey! I have good news for you. First of all if you're a brunette naturally then you can always get your natural color back with henna and indigo.

The easiest way for that to happen is first do a full application of henna body art quality (this site (http://www.mehandi.com/shop/hairhenna.html) has some great henna) to cover up the bleach and make sure you don't get green hair (henna is red/orange and indigo can give brunette tones up to black; but indigo in combination with peroxide gives a green tint), I suggest a long henna application to make sure you cover the bleach, if I were you I'd leave it on over night just to be sure the bleach is covered. After you covered the bleach with henna, you can use a henna/indigo combination, lush has some pre-mixed ones that have been successfully used by others on this site (Link to lush website (http://www.lushusa.com/shop/products/haircare/henna-hair-dyes/)). After all that you'll have a nice, shinny brunette color with no harm to your hair at all and you can just sit back, relax and wait for your hair to grow. Some people successfully skip the henna application and just use Lush directly and have success covering bleach, it all depends if you want to risk it or not.

Some threads and articles that you might want to read:
The uses of coconut oil (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=53786&highlight=coconut+oil)
Hair Coloring with Herbs, Plants & Other Natural Ingredients (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=2) (contains information about henna, indigo and cassia)
Misconceptions, Mistakes and Tips on Henna for Hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=165)
Expressions with Henna- Coloring Hair Naturally (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=7) (how to get different red and brunette shades with henna and indigo)
Catnip for Split Ends and Natural Light Blonde Hair Colour (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=118) (because you asked about it it)
Honey Lightening (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=61) (a few people mentioned, thought you might want to know more about it)
ETA:
The much-recommended SMT (Snowymoon's Moisture Treatment) (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128&highlight=moisture+treatment+SMT) (a few people mentioned it, thought you might want to know more)
Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79)
Keeping Split Ends At Bay: Secrets of Gently Handling Your Hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=8) (a MUST read in my humble opinion)

I wish you a LOT of good luck and don't worry there is hope! :)

[AerithMoon]

Yellowflower, I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I had a horrible bleaching incident because a hairdresser misunderstood me, and ended up bleaching out my entire head rather than highlights on my dark blonde hair. It was an awful, brassy, dandelion-highlighter mixture of colour. Not only that, but my long, beautiful hair was now fried and dry. So, reluctantly I got a pretty short haircut to grow all of that out.

At that point it was just short and orange-dandelion-highlighter yellow, so I died it dark because I couldn't stand to look at myself or feel like that. So it got longer, longer, but it was still damaged from bleach even though the colour was better. I decided since my hair was already short, I would experiment with different colours because it'd be the only time I'd ever have my hair that short. (and my hair is very curly, so pixie cuts are not for me either.) I've had blue-black and blackest black hair and LOVED IT, but blonde and natural is just who I am. Right now my roots are dark blonde and the rest is dark brown, and I am just putting it up every day until it gets long enough for me to cut off all that dye and damage. So I have ugly multicoloured hair right now but I'm super excited to grow it long and strong again!

I feel ugly and depressed because my hair was always my most powerful and beautiful feature.

Keep your chin up, take this time to find other attractive and special things about yourself and keep yourself motivated. PM me if you want to talk, I've definitely been there. Sounds like we have similar experiences, hair, and goals! We can motivate each other.

Good luck!

[yellowflower]

I wish I could dye it dark, but I know I will hate that just as much as it will fade, dark always dose. I just want to hurry it up and grow it out.

I am having an inch and half off in week so that will take it just above shoulder

[Lianna]

Henna and indigo don't fade. But you can't bleach it like permanent dyes, you gotta have your mind set on them, if you want. If bleached will turn green.

[AerithMoon]

Could you afford to have a professional just cool down the brass for you? When mine was horrible and bleached they did a nice job blending it for me.. left some of the blonde as highlights but darkened the right areas and I was pretty happy with it. I mean it wasn't healthy again but it didn't look awful anymore and they were very careful to use gentle products on it and did it one step. Much better than me doing it myself. Since your hair is bleached though, it would fade to blonde. But it will never be as bright as it is now. I think it cost me about $100 :(

[Roscata]

I wish I could dye it dark, but I know I will hate that just as much as it will fade, dark always dose. I just want to hurry it up and grow it out.

I am having an inch and half off in week so that will take it just above shoulder

Chemical dye I completely agree fades, henna will not, especially not after 3-4 applications, I promise it is ACTUALLY permanent.

Our own member here Kathie went through just that, she went from near platinum bleach blond to henna/indigo brunette and it is sticking, beautifully if I may add (ETA: for over 5 months now).

[Lianna]

She bleached in the first place because a stylist dyed her hair without consent (she just wanted the tips dyed). And her hair was dyed too dark. If she could get light brown from henna+indigo would be a nice idea.

[yellowflower]

Could you afford to have a professional just cool down the brass for you? When mine was horrible and bleached they did a nice job blending it for me.. left some of the blonde as highlights but darkened the right areas and I was pretty happy with it. I mean it wasn't healthy again but it didn't look awful anymore and they were very careful to use gentle products on it and did it one step. Much better than me doing it myself. Since your hair is bleached though, it would fade to blonde. But it will never be as bright as it is now. I think it cost me about $100 :(

I have had all the lightening done professionally and has cost me an absolute fortune!!!

I have looked through some pictures on the internet and from april when i will have 2" of new growth I am cutting it shorter to about my chin, until then i will keep having an inch off every 6 weeks until then (April)

Im scared to do indigohenna as the reason i am in this mess is because i dyed my hair dark and hated it in the first place so wanted to go back light and this is where i am now

[rose.grace]

Did yours go green then? If i wanted to go dark i would have to dye it red first then dark and there is no way my hair could take another 2 lots of dye.

Yes i think i am just going to have to fake it until I make it, its so hard when all you want to do is hide under the duvet
Yes, it went very green... and that was before "punk" hair was cool. Who knows? Maybe I started something... ;)

[yellowflower]

Yes, it went very green... and that was before "punk" hair was cool. Who knows? Maybe I started something... ;)

haha maybe, ah well i survived another day just another 349 to go.

ETA: I wonder if it is possible to sloth off for say 18 months somewhere to hide and then come back out....

[Maverick494]

Did you try wearing caps, beanies and hats? I mean, a headband isn't going to conceal much at all, whereas the other options do. I don't know if you've ever seen the movie "the invisible" but the girl in it wears a beanie most of the time an it's only at the end that she pulls it off to reveal beautiful long curly hair. If you focus on envisioning yourself being that girl and one day pulling off that beanie and thinking "hey, my hair is long enough to cut off all the damage!"

Try to be positive. I walked around for months hating my hair and feeling self concious about wearing hats/beanies but noone ever saw it that way.

[yellowflower]

Its the front 3-4 inches that I dont like, thats why in about 4-5months I will be happier as I wont be able to see it and can pull it back into a pony tail.

[owlathena]

Hi I just looked at your profile and your hair looks really healthy how did you manage it if you kept going backwards and forwards with the colour?




Sorry for being a couple months late in responding, but better late than never, right?

For me, it really was just about time. I used to cry about my hair all the time, but then I slowly forgot about it. I stopped flip-flopping with color and just re-did the temporary black box dye every couple of months. One day I looked in the mirror and thought, "Wow, I actually look OK." Coconut oil and S&D probably helped a lot, but a year of not straightening and bleaching has made a world of difference in improving the look of the incredibly damaged bits.

[MrsGuther]

I really need some advice, my hair is really in such a bad state after 2 bleaching sessions to get blonde hair back that I dyed dark.

I don't know if anyone else has been here, but I dyed my hair dark which I really hated!!! So I wanted to go back blonde I spent a fortune, and I am still not happy they are the odd gingery/brassy strands here and there, I really hate the colour its horrible compared to how nice it was before, I hate looking in the mirror as I feel such as horrible mess. It made me so depressed about my hair it even ruined my relationship with my partner, I couldnt even get out of bed because I felt so ugly, people keep saying oh its only hair it will grow....yes I know but for the nexy year and a half till it grows out I am stuck with rock bottom confidence, I feel like everyone is looking at me thinking what a state.

I decided to stop the bleaching to get back to the colour I was because my hair is just awful state at the moment I dont think it could take anymore colour i think it would go green!!!

It just feels so horrible to feel such a state, everywhere I go i am constantly checking in the mirror to see how it looks, everytime I look in the mirror I can see it. I spend hours checking over the colour constantly. The only time I am happy is at night when its dark and can't really see the colour properly. To make it worse the person who works in my office keeps going on about it, which drives me insane.

I am getting it cut in couple weeks, its really curly so cant have it really short other wise believe me I would, I have even had times when I have thought about shaving my head off completly I hate it so much.

I just want it to hurry up and grow.

I think everyone here will better understand how it makes you feel, you cant take your hair off, its like being dressed in a outfit you hate permenantly. I am so fed up with everyone comments of oh it will grow.

Thanks for reading that if you are at the end now, i just feel so awful.

I have started taking vitamins to help it grow changed my diet to include more fruit/veg and protein. Ive also started exercising more as I read that helps hair grow....dont know if thats true.

But not what else can I do to try and help my hair......

and anything that will speed up growth to get the colour out???



I don't know of anything that will get the color out, but I just wanted to send you hugs and well wishes during this trying hair situation. I have been through that and it sucks, bad!!! The only thing that really makes hair get back to a better color after that situation IMHO is time. In time you will figure out if you can/want to deal with growing out your natural color; or you will be able to mentally get out of your hair-rut, and pick a color you like and keep it that way for quite a while. Good luck to you. Hang in there! It will get better!!!

[telegraph64]

Darling, I want you to be re-assured that one year and a half is not a very long time, and believe me, it will go by very quickly if you choose to look at the best of things!
Baby your hair, and things will look better in the least, it's never the end of the world in the land of hair.

[AnqeIicDemise]

:( I've done something similar to this.

I am an emotional person -- and a fire element -- so I tend to explode when upset and am very fickle at heart when it comes to a lot of things.

So, one day, my dad and I got into a fight. Now mind you, I am of Latin-American descent, my father staunch Catholic. The one thing I KNEW to piss him off was to do something. something drastic and semi-permanent.

So what did I do? I cut my waist long hair up to my chin.... bought some cheap ass bleach, a thing of manic panic and went to town. I was hoping to have a rockingly awesome batch of bright blue hair.

Instead I got what I very fondly call MANGO hair. Like, unripe mango. Blonde here, brassy orange over there, a bit of gold tint, some red and green.

I never cried so hard in my life. I came home at 2 am with my hood over my head and feigned sickness the next day to stay home. I called my sister crying that morning and she came to help me.

-.- I didn't know it was Picture day at school the day I pretended to be sick.

Long-story-short, we dyed my hair brownish as close as possible to my hair but the color didn't take well. It had this greenish sheen to it and faded fast because of the bleach. I wore a bandana on my head for weeks until I dyed it again. My dad was pissed over the hair cutting but didn't catch on to the dye.

My mother on the other hand... realized the moment she laid eyes on me.

Patience is key and so is creativity, love. Follow the advice on moisture as fellow boarders have said. Maybe find some wash-tints that deposit color but wash off with the next wash (I know Sallies has them) to minimize the brassy crap color... and in the meantime, put focus on something else. Maybe cute tops-- funky clips into your hair so people look at the clips/hair accessory INSTEAD of the quality of your hair. How about some make up?

[mrsbob]

Aw, sweetie, I've been where you are and I completely understand how you are feeling right now. It's just the worst, like you can't get your hair off of your mind because you can't stand it. You'll feel this way until it's fixed...like I said, been there with the whole off-hair color thing. You might want to see if there is a salon that specializes in fixing color. Are you in Oregon by chance? I can refer you to a wonderful place. (It's called The Colour Authority)...I went there the first time with a blue/green tint in my hair because I'd gone back and forth with dark and blond! You'd be surprised what a good job some of these places can do that specialize in problems like that.

Hang in there sweetie....and DON'T cut it all off....you just need to find the right person to help you fix it.

[mrsbob]

Angelic! I just read your story....wow....hard to imagine you doing that to your beautiful hair!

I love this place - it's good to know I'm not the only one that messes up my hair and that my awful feelings about it (cutting my bangs) are normal and ...

I'm in really good company here.

Even if I am old enough to a mother to a lot of you! :p

[AnqeIicDemise]

It wasn't the last time, either.

e.e

When I finally stopped self mutilation (I promised my then fiancee I wasn't going to cut anymore), I took it out on my hair. Once again, it went to pixie. I just took the scissors and started cutting. Crying and cutting. This time I didn't really hate it so much as found it cathartic. I mean. I cried. I never really had before then.

This hair journey has been one of self discovery.

These days I just draw when frustrated. No more bottling things up because that makes a very, very, very, very bad Demise.

But, for the OP.. There IS a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. You're being too hard for yourself.

e-hugs!! :D

[MeganE]

Have you considered getting a wig? They make very natural ones and it might help your self-esteem until your hair improves.

I mean, it might seem drastic, but you said you need some *major* advice. A woman in my dance troupe used to wear one for performances and it was really great quality, her hair looked better than most of the rest of ours.

ETA: Here's a video. She's wearing the wig. Can you tell which one is her? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-6d4cL7idQ

[Signe]

devacurl makes a blue no-poo cleanser for blondes which is extremely mild and takes away brassiness...awesome stuff.

also..who says curlies can't go pixie? rock a little curly fro for a while! not many people can and it can look mega sexy! :eyebrows:

[Sooze]

devacurl makes a blue no-poo cleanser for blondes which is extremely mild and takes away brassiness...awesome stuff.

also..who says curlies can't go pixie? rock a little curly fro for a while! not many people can and it can look mega sexy! :eyebrows:


I was about to say that too. I have a friend with the most amazing curly brown hair which used to be long. About 18 months ago, she decided to cut to just above her chin and it looks fabulous. Her hair is thick, bouncy and sexy.

Hair is such a personal thing, and so understand how you're feeling when you've damaged your hair (which is how I found LHC), but there are lots of helpful suggestions which will help the health of your hair, and as the new growth comes in, you can take heart from the virgin undamaged hair growing back.

Without meaning to sound trite (because I don't underestimate how wretched this is making you feel) if it's really something you can't live with, take the plunge, have it cut, and wear colourful scarves until it grows to what is for you an acceptable length again. (Hug)

[Debra83]

Didn't read the whole thread, hope this isn't redundant....I Lustrous Henna'd over bleached platinum hair October 2008. I was going for light brown, but have since gone to a "dark brown/soft black" combination. Never had trouble, never went green that I recall...first application pick is my avatar.

[varintalonguard]

Oh sweetie I understand. I've got gray hair now at 22 and since I was 13 so I first just bleached it for a few years. Definitely look into SMTs and oiling. Do some deep conditioning treatments such as avocado and olive oil or coconut oil. Oddly enough just the act of working towards better hair can make it more stand-able until its better.

I also totally agree with the headband thing. Short curly hair can be so fickle...as can long hair but its just easier to deal with. Feel free to drop me a line if you want to talk or have some curly growing out bleach or dye questions.

Scarves are lovely and finding a good hat is very nice for times when you want to just forget about or hair or are doing a oiling.

I suggest moving to a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner and washing as little as you can stand but co-ing nearly everyday for the moisture.

Hope this helps