Best responses to "You have long hair" comments

[eternallyverdan]

I always find it terribly confusing when people tell me "You have long hair." It's not a compliment, it's a fact, and can anything from complimentary to downright passive-aggressive depending on the tone. What's your favorite reply? I have a bunch of sarcastic ones saved up, but I can never bring myself to say them.

Some of my favorites:

"And you have a large backside."

"And Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey decimal category. What? I thought it was "Exchange Random Facts Day."

[young&reckless]

You have a face.


Hehe, I've used this before with great success.

[rosieex3]

I usually don't know what to respond either, since I don't know whether someone telling me that is a compliment or not. So I usually just say "hahah yeah" and leave it at that, lol.

[Schefflera]

I just take it as a compliment. It usually is. Now that I mostly wear it up instead of just in a ponytail, it also tends to mean in part "Whoa, I didn't realize how long your hair was," which was my reaction (though I'm not sure it's what I said) the first time I saw my previous boss take hers down. (It's beautiful, by the way, and one day I'm going to get the hang of copying her signature hairstyle.)

(Edit: I have permission. She told me how, actually; it's the execution I'm having issues with.)

[Siava]

You have a face.

Ha! Love it. :)

I've been getting told this with increased frequency as of late. So far I've just replied with, "Yep." Didn't know what else to say!

[heidihug]

I simply say, " Yes, I do." It's rather disconcerting for people when I say this, but it's a disconcerting thing for people to say to me, IMO. Of course, I only have people say it to me once a year or so, as I don't wear my hair down in public.

[Rebecca.1905]

Ugh, right up there with, "Your hair is getting long." Yes... yes it is.

So that's what I say. Yes... yes it is. :)

[prosperina]

If it's said in a complimentary, I'm in awe of your hair kind of way, I give them a big smile and say "You're right. I do." :D

If it's said in any other way I say, dryly. "And you're quite observant." Sometimes I add on "Your mother must be proud." But not very often.

[nellreno]

If it's said nicely then just say thank you. I have social anxiety and freeze up when talking to someone I don't know, but if I see some with very beautiful long hair I want to compliment them, but sometimes I can only spurt out "you have long hair". It's insulting if someone were to make fun of me for it.

If it's said with disgust, I usually just roll my eyes and ignore them.

[Amraann]

It really does depend on the tone.

I would just ALWAYS assume it is a positive unless they added to the comment.

[WaitingSoLong]

I used to just be polite and not say anything or "yes I do". But lately I have been saying "Really? Whoa!" and then roll my eyes. I don't roll my eyes on purpose, it just happens.

Of course if it is really meant as a compliment I would be polite, not sarcastic. But sometimes it is said like "ewww, gross" or like who-in-the-world-would-want-hair-that-long.

Or don't say anything. It is not a question, what dictates you must speak at all?

I have also said "Ok, and what am I supposed to say to that?" (put the ball back in their court). This one is really nice to see what they come back with.

I have to stick this in here: I get a lot of "was your hair always that long?"....hmm. Well, no. It had to start sometime. I usually say "Yes, yes it was" (again, eye roll and "here's your sign").

And recently "when did your hair get so long?"...my favorite reply "just a few minutes ago".

I still have to come up with one for "how long have you been growing your hair?"...my reply is usually "all my life" ??? I mean, does it STOP growing really? Of course, they think then that my hair has reached this length after 35 years. THAT would be sad. Oh well.

If you really want to be snotty, you can say "Ok, I'll give you a few minutes to reword that and then you can try again" or "Is this state the obvious day?" or "thank you for wasting your breath on THAT statement" or "yeah, yours isn't".

I am not usually sarcastic, but after the 10th time I am asked the SAME question I tend to come up with these answers. Hey, I don't have friends anyway. LOL. I have been told I am unapproachable, hard to get to know, guarded, etc. Gee...I wonder why?

[BrightEyes7]

I've simply said "Yeah"

But my favorite thing to do is act like I didn't know. I start turning around trying to see it and say "really? Are you sure? I don't think so! OH GOSH! Look at that! It is long!!"

[Bene]

"Not yet...." - 1000 yard stare - "Not yet...."

[nellreno]

I still have to come up with one for "how long have you been growing your hair?"...my reply is usually "all my life" ??? I mean, does it STOP growing really? Of course, they think then that my hair has reached this length after 35 years. THAT would be sad. Oh well.

So, being mean to someone who's honestly curious is supposed to be fun or cool now? If someone asks me that I just say "About four years", because four years ago my hair got cut off and I decided to grow it out.

Honestly, y'all are overreacting.

[kabelaced]

"And Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey decimal category. What? I thought it was "Exchange Random Facts Day."

Is that really true? That's awesome! :p

It's been so long since my hair's been really "long," I've forgotten anyone really pointing it out. I always just say thanks, because whether they like it or not, I'm happy they pointed out my progress! :cool:

[adiapalic]

So, being mean to someone who's honestly curious is supposed to be fun or cool now? If someone asks me that I just say "About four years", because four years ago my hair got cut off and I decided to grow it out.

Honestly, y'all are overreacting.

I was thinking this myself. ^

I never get annoyed when people notice my hair when it's down. "Your hair's so long!" "How long have you been growing?" I generally smile and acknowledge them on the first, usually I don't say anything. The last one, it's hard to answer, I just say I get about 6 inches a year--so it'd take about 10 years to get to this point for me from scratch, because of trims for a thicker hemline.

And honestly? I would never be sarcastic to someone who asked a question like that, simply because it's understood there is a distinction between actively allowing your hair to grow--accumulate length by not cutting--and your hair continually growing until you die. It's one of those "duh" kinda things.

I am getting a little more peeved at people picking my hair up and feeling of it from behind while exclaiming how long it is--it surprises me too much.

Maybe it'd be good if a few people contributed some of the "Best *courteous* responses" to balance this thing out.

[Greenhousegirl]

Whether its positive or not I ususally thank them vehemently. Kill them with kindness you know. :eyebrows:
The only time I get short with people are when they rake their fingers through my hair AFTER :steam I've gelled it and it has dried, if they are rude and say you should chop it off right after they tell me how long my hair is, or my personal "favorite" they'll cheerfully tell me how many wigs my hair will make for cancer kids. To the last one I inform them of what actually happens to that donated hair, sadly they never believe me.

[pepperedmoth]

I take it at as compliment, since it usually is. I say "thank you," and try to find a way to return it. Like one does for any compliment.

Sometimes it's surprise, the first time someone sees it down. Then I say, "It's amazing how it can hide!" or something to that effect.

I dunno, I don't mind comments like that at all. I guess I like 'em, since they're usually compliments. My husband says "Your hair is so long!" just about every time he sees it down, and then he gets his hands all in it and says other nice things, so . . . yeah. It's fine with me.

[podo]

The one I usually get it is "where have you been hiding all that hair" because I usually keep it up and my hair doesn't make a very big bun. ;)

I just smile, or if they say "your hair is really long" I say "thanks, it's not long enough yet" - and while I know there are people who mean it in a critical way, I choose to take it as a compliment.

Things are only hurtful if you allow them to be. (It'd be nice if I could do that to other things people say.)

[jojo]

I normally feel quite proud when somebody says your hair is long and just answer thank you!

Thats it!

[cataphract]

I usually just say 'Thanks' and leave it there, but I usually say thanks to just about any random fact recitation. For example, a lady at work said "Interesting tights" one day, so I said 'Thanks'. Or when someone says, 'It's raining outside'... I usually just say, 'Thanks'. Sometimes people even say 'you're welcome' back.

[cataphract]

"Not yet...." - 1000 yard stare - "Not yet...."

lol, that's an awesome one, I like it.

[Intransigentia]

My hair isn't long enough yet that people would say that, even if I did wear it down in public - my city has a significant Indian and South Asian population, with lots of long-haired women; I'd probably have to be past classic before I'd have anything unusual. (Though my hair is already long for a white lady.)

If people DID say "your hair is really long!" I'd like to think I'd say either, "Getting there!", or "Not long enough!" Assuming they weren't being rude or something.

[enfys]

I just use a variant of "yes". I often say that I don't notice it anymore. If their intentions are good I will happily talk about it, and if anyone's intentions weren't good I would hope that saying I don't notice it would suggest it wouldn't be a good stimulus to wind me up.

[Amraann]

I got asked just the other day about how long I have been growing.
It was said in a pleasant nice tone just curious conversational way.

I really did not have an answer. So I kind of laughed and said "Oh, I don't know? Always? I cut it then grow it etc"
She then replied how she use to have long hair too.

I think more often then not comments like this and the "you have long hair" one are more to open the topic for conversation. Just made by people who are not so sure how to open the conversation.

[Alaia]

Nobody has ever said this to me.

But if they do in a nasty way...

"Why thank you Captain Obvious, I had no idea." :p

If they are nice I would be nice of course.

[rusika1]

So, being mean to someone who's honestly curious is supposed to be fun or cool now? If someone asks me that I just say "About four years", because four years ago my hair got cut off and I decided to grow it out.

Honestly, y'all are overreacting.

I was thinking this myself. ^

I never get annoyed when people notice my hair when it's down. "Your hair's so long!" "How long have you been growing?" I generally smile and acknowledge them on the first, usually I don't say anything. The last one, it's hard to answer, I just say I get about 6 inches a year--so it'd take about 10 years to get to this point for me from scratch, because of trims for a thicker hemline.

And honestly? I would never be sarcastic to someone who asked a question like that, simply because it's understood there is a distinction between actively allowing your hair to grow--accumulate length by not cutting--and your hair continually growing until you die. It's one of those "duh" kinda things.

I am getting a little more peeved at people picking my hair up and feeling of it from behind while exclaiming how long it is--it surprises me too much.

Maybe it'd be good if a few people contributed some of the "Best *courteous* responses" to balance this thing out.

FOLH (friends of long hairs) have it rough. If they aren't sufficiently interested in our growing process, they must hate long hair. If they comment on our hair, but it's an unoriginal remark, we make fun of them.;)

In my experience, people make the comment out of surprise, not because they feel a need to remark on the obvious. Usually it's because something brings your hair to their attention, like showing up to work with it down for the first time in months. Or your hair is unusually long (by the local standards) and strangers feel compelled to say something to you about it.


(Anyone out there ever said something like "Oh my gosh, you've lost weight!" to a friend you haven't seen for a while? In the US, we tend to assume weight loss is desired and the comment will be seen as a compliment. It is devoutly to be hoped that you have never blurted out "OMG! You've gained so much weight!")

[pepperminttea]

Anyone out there ever said something like "Oh my gosh, you've lost weight!" to a friend you haven't seen for a while? In the US, we tend to assume weight loss is desired and the comment will be seen as a compliment.

It's not something I say, but it's something I hear a lot. I've been overweight since childhood, and whenever certain people see me they ask if I've lost weight - my weight hasn't significantly changed in over five years. :p I figure they mean it as a compliment and leave it at that.

As for the responses to "you have long hair"; I haven't had it said harshly to me yet, so I've only ever replied with "Thank you." and a smile. I read a great response on here though in another thread (I'm afraid I can't remember the username of the person who came up with it, but needless to say it wasn't me):
"I made it myself." :D

[Honestwitness]

When someone says to me, "Your hair is getting really long." I say, "Yeah. That's what happens when you quit using (or hide, or can't find) the scissors." Then, they usually tell me sincerely that my hair is pretty and I thank them sincerely.

[TheBluffs]

I usualy thank them, or say 'Yup!', but seeing all these wonderfully sarcatistic comments.. >:)

[Eboshi]

The best response I have to the "You have long hair" comment is "Thank you."

As has been stated before, people remark on the unusual. Why assume ill intentions or snarkiness to what is more than likely, an exclamation of surprise?

[HintOfMint]

I've always taken it as a compliment and it's usually meant that way. If it is said in a more neutral tone, I just laugh and say, "Thanks, if that's a good thing?" And they'll usually clarify (heh) that they meant it in a good way. People generally aren't rude, and if they are, they usually don't mean it.

[Nera]

I normally just say: I know.

[Lassie]

I WISH WISH my hair would be long enough for people to say "your hair is long"
I cant wait till my first such remark...Shall be a proud day indeed
(currently at BSL)

[lingxi]

Like Nera I just say "I know" too.
Duh :P

[bte]

Tempting as it is to come up with a smart reply, I think many people who wish to comment on someone else's hair are slightly embarrassed and therefore end up stating the obvious to get the conversation going. So, I always just say "Thank you!" and smile, and possibly ask if they are thinking of growing theirs.

[Dragon]

I take it as a compliment as it usually is. I am not good at speaking to people when it’s face to face so I usually say yep. I usually don’t like it when they grab my hair after to hold but I say nothing as its usually people I know and they are only being friendly. If they ask how long it took to get it that long I will say I’m not sure. If people mean it in a way saying you need to cut it I will say nothing.

[trolleypup]

"Thank you!"

Works well regardless of the tone or coherency of the original statement.

[freckles]

I usually just say 'Thanks' and leave it there, but I usually say thanks to just about any random fact recitation. For example, a lady at work said "Interesting tights" one day, so I said 'Thanks'. Or when someone says, 'It's raining outside'... I usually just say, 'Thanks'. Sometimes people even say 'you're welcome' back.

Ha, this is what I do. If it's a feature about myself that I like, I act as though they were giving me a compliment even if I'm not sure that they were. So if someone says "your hair is long!" whatever the tone, I tend to say "thank you!" really enthusiastically. If they were being nice, they're happy they've made my day. If they were being mean, they're caught off guard by my cheerfulness. If they were having a blurt-out-facts moment (which I'm prone to myself) they realise they were being a bit weird.

The other day I was wearing BRIGHT pink tights, and the bus driver said to me "wow, those are VERY bright tights". It didn't sound like a compliment exactly, but I just said "YES, they are, I love this colour!" and gave him a grin.

I'm not sure I would say thanks to something about the weather though. :lol: that seems to be taking some kind of credit for something that I didn't do!

[NouvelleNymphe2]

lol, that's an awesome one, I like it.

This one is my favorite! :bull:

[Rivanariko]

I can't say I've ever had a negative comment. Some very close friends have commented that my ends are getting a little dry or damaged when they're playing with it (with my permission of course!) but I don't take that as an insulting or negative thing, they're very close friends and we feel comfortable being honest with each other.

As for "Wow your hair is long!" I usually go with either "Yep" or "Thank you!" depending on the situation.

[Lianna]

What if it was the other way around?

Let's say you think you have long hair, but the other person doesn't think it's long enough to be considered long. You wouldn't be so happy, right?

We like long hair, if someone says "you have long hair" is a good thing, then. And this person thinks it's long! Better than "Umm, it's not that long".

[xoxophelia]

What if it was the other way around?

Let's say you think you have long hair, but the other person doesn't think it's long enough to be considered long. You wouldn't be so happy, right?

We like long hair, if someone says "you have long hair" is a good thing, then. And this person thinks it's long! Better than "Umm, it's not that long".

A lot of the people around me are passive aggressive and many of them honestly don't like me. I think with these girls it is jealousy. They will pick somebody with noticably shorter hair that they DO like and say that my hair is their length etc.

Trust me, it feels far worse having people trying to rip you down than trying to compliment you. I get picked on a *lot* by other women so I always try to be as kind as I can (usually because of my height.. I'm 5'9" or that I look like a man/lesbian/transexual again because of my height)

[Xandergrammy]

My usual and most automatic response is a huge grin and "Yeah, it's getting there!!"

[kouran]

A lot of girls in my school do say "You have long hair" but it's usually followed by "it's so beautiful!!" so I smile and say thank you :)...it's the only time they speak to me though...:shrug:

[Lianna]

I'm sorry this happens to you, xoxophelia. That is really mean. On a side note, you look beautiful in your avatar!

What I meant with my previous comment is that some people are used to a certain length as standard, so, let's say waist length won't feel so long to them, while for others is plenty!

[Yavene]

I just say thanks.

Tempting as it is to come up with a smart reply, I think many people who wish to comment on someone else's hair are slightly embarrassed and therefore end up stating the obvious to get the conversation going. So, I always just say "Thank you!" and smile, and possibly ask if they are thinking of growing theirs.
Nice conversation starter, gonna steal it :)

[GlassWidow]

I was kind of shocked to see this thread. I've sometimes commented on a person's long hair because most people I know DON'T have long hair. I've never meant it in a derogatory way; in fact, I'm usually envious because I haven't been able to make long hair work for me in the past. Or, sometimes it's someone that I haven't seen in a couple of months, and I'm surprised at how quickly their hair has grown.

Then, if you watch TV or read magazines, you can't miss all the marketing that tells us that we're supposed to shampoo and condition our hair at least once a day, and then use all kinds of products and blow dryers and hot irons and such to make it look beautiful. Oh, and don't forget those trips to the salon for highlights brazilian blowouts! So, of course the average person is going to think that it's a ton of work to make long hair look beautiful, and they're probably going to think that YOU go to those lengths, too (pun intended).

I guess my point is, as a newbie, I'm surprised and put off by the sarcasm and hostility on this subject because from my side of the fence it seems unnecessarily harsh. Then again, I also think it's out of line when pregnant women think it's great fun to respond snippily to every person who asks them when they're due...

and I totally get the "don't touch my hair" sentiment, because I felt the same way about "don't touch my belly" when I was pregnant.

[ScarlettAdelle]

I only reply sarcastically when they open with something nasty like 'ew! Your hair is way too long! How long have you been growing it?' In my eyes that's justification for being snarky. And that's when I go "no way!! I keep cutting it and it just won't stop growing!! I wonder if hair growth inhibitors really work.. next stop is laser removal. Grr" because they're just being rude and trying to make me feel bad for not conforming to their opinion of how I should look.

If they're honestly curious and polite, I'll stop & talk as a general rule. Sometimes I'll open with sarcasm, but then smile and say "I'm just kidding" and give the real answer.

[GlassWidow]

I only reply sarcastically when they open with something nasty like 'ew! Your hair is way too long! How long have you been growing it?'

I guess I have a lot to learn because I honestly can't imagine someone behaving that way! I'm sorry to all those people it's actually happened to. That's just not right!

[madeline_]

I came from really shortshort for about ten years and it's not that long anyway, so most of it has been compliments. I don't know how I would react if people started saying it in a negative way... Chances are I'd probably start agreeing with them and cut. :confused:

[Pandora.]

Most people who say this are saying it as a compliment, so I smile and say "thank you" politely. IMO there's no need to be rude or sarcastic if they weren't trying to be nasty or anything.

[Xi]

In real life, I just smile and let the other person make the next move (usually it is a related question -- how long did it take to grow, is it hard to maintain, etc... or a more clear compliment). I consider it a kind of preface to what they actually want to say.

However, one of the fun parts of the LHC is long hair humour! I like to read about/think about comments I'd of course never use in reality. :drama:

let's see...
1) "No, my head is just being eaten by Cousin It."

2) "All the better to strangle you with, my dearie" (cackle like the wolf impersonating Little Red Ridinghood's grannie)

3) "The grass is green, rain falls from the sky, E=mc^2, I like zebras."

4) "You are experiencing a visual hallucination -- I don't actually have any hair. In fact, I don't exist -- please consult your primary care physician at your earliest convenience."

5) "I thought that was a requirement for females of your species. Has there been a flaw in my programming?"

6) "You have normally functioning vocal chords."



I usually just say 'Thanks' and leave it there, but I usually say thanks to just about any random fact recitation. For example, a lady at work said "Interesting tights" one day, so I said 'Thanks'. Or when someone says, 'It's raining outside'... I usually just say, 'Thanks'. Sometimes people even say 'you're welcome' back.

LOL!:laugh: I do a similar thing with "sorry" -- I often say it in completely ridiculous situations (someone almost knocks me over -- I'd say "sorry"; someone stubs their own toe or knocks over a cup, etc... I've been known to appologize to cupboard doors and tea kettles).

[rose.grace]

The day someone says that to me, I'll be so happy. And my response will be, "Finally!" :happydance:

[adiapalic]

In real life, I just smile and let the other person make the next move (usually it is a related question -- how long did it take to grow, is it hard to maintain, etc... or a more clear compliment). I consider it a kind of preface to what they actually want to say.

However, one of the fun parts of the LHC is long hair humour! I like to read about/think about comments I'd of course never use in reality. :drama:

let's see...
1) "No, my head is just being eaten by Cousin It."

2) "All the better to strangle you with, my dearie" (cackle like the wolf impersonating Little Red Ridinghood's grannie)

3) "The grass is green, rain falls from the sky, E=mc^2, I like zebras."

4) "You are experiencing a visual hallucination -- I don't actually have any hair. In fact, I don't exist -- please consult your primary care physician at your earliest convenience."

5) "I thought that was a requirement for females of your species. Has there been a flaw in my programming?"

6) "You have normally functioning vocal chords."




LOL!:laugh: I do a similar thing with "sorry" -- I often say it in completely ridiculous situations (someone almost knocks me over -- I'd say "sorry"; someone stubs their own toe or knocks over a cup, etc... I've been known to appologize to cupboard doors and tea kettles).

This tickled me to death. :laugh:

[spigette]

I have an uncle who is 6 foot 10, and people are always saying to him, "Wow, you're really tall!". He usually just smiles pleasantly and says, "Yeah, guess you're right", or "It's true".

Like the long hair observation, it's one of those comments that doesn't really say anything, and so the response probably shouldn't either, lol.

[david]

I just take the "You have long hair" comment as just one of those means nothing compliments so I dont perceive it as a nasty comment. When someone says it to me I usually just say thank you and it will either start up a conversation about my hair, lead to compliments or the conversation will just die out. I would never take it as a nasty comment though.

[Islandgrrl]

My favorite replies:

"Thank you."
"No, not really."
"It is?"

Which reply gets used depends greatly on my mood and the tone of the question. I've been known to occasionally (someone has to really tick me off) pop off with, "OMG, where did THAT come from???!!!"

[EdG]

"Your hair is long."

"Yes." :D

Ed

[Vani1902]

A lot of the people around me are passive aggressive and many of them honestly don't like me. I think with these girls it is jealousy. They will pick somebody with noticably shorter hair that they DO like and say that my hair is their length etc.

Trust me, it feels far worse having people trying to rip you down than trying to compliment you. I get picked on a *lot* by other women so I always try to be as kind as I can (usually because of my height.. I'm 5'9" or that I look like a man/lesbian/transexual again because of my height)
Well, you are pretty girl (judging from your pic). They are obviously jealous and insecure.Some women pick on girls that wake up insecurities in them. It is the only way that they can feel better about themselves(even if it only lasts a second). I hate that women feel the need to rip each other apart. We can sometimes be each other's worst enemies. Anyways, brush it off. :)

[Beatnik Guy]

The best response I have to the "You have long hair" comment is "Thank you."

As has been stated before, people remark on the unusual. Why assume ill intentions or snarkiness to what is more than likely, an exclamation of surprise?

Exactly. :D

[rhosyn_du]

I usually respond with a grin and "yup!" People who mean it as a compliment or just a comment on something unusual grin back and sometimes ask more about it, and people who mean it as a slight are really taken aback that I'm pleased and proud of it. Works in every situation!


Then again, I also think it's out of line when pregnant women think it's great fun to respond snippily to every person who asks them when they're due...

Eh, I actually think this is a pretty rude question if the person being asked hasn't brought up the subject of pregnancy. I've had it asked of me several times, and I've never been pregnant. :rolleyes:

[irishlady]

I often have wonderful comebacks in my head at the time, that I never say, although to a certain few idiots I know I definitely will say something if they make that remark :D

I can't remember them since they're spur of the moment replies, but here's a few off the top of me head for the sake of it:

the classic: "Noooooooooooo, really?? *gasp*"

"And you have a nose."

"What??!! *fake panic attack*"

[starlights]

I would just reply to anyone who said that to me:
"thats right Sherlock"
lol

[Longfellow]

That comment usually comes after the "you're tall" for me. I usually bank on the person's self-awareness that they've trapped me in insipid small-talk and just nod and walk by, unless I'm in a generous mood.

[pinchbeck]

My hair is close to mid back length (not long for LHC standards), but those closest to me think it is long. A few days ago somebody said, "you're hair is so long" and I asked him, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" His younger sister was behind him and quicky said, "it is a good thing". That was so sweet!

[Torrin Paige]

To the people who wonder about some of the snappy comebacks to a generally inoffensive statement: There comes a point when you hear "Your hair is long" one too many times. You just get annoyed and snap a little. I hear it every time I wear my hair down when I'm out and about. Every single time. You are probably wondering, why then do I wear it down at all? Because I love it and I want to! Now, I almost always say, "Yup!" or "Sure is." I refuse to say thank you because it's not a compliment; it's a statement. For the most part I am used to hearing it and it usually doesn't bother me. Every now and then, though, I will be in a less than charitable mood (I'm fairly certain that this happens to everyone) and it just annoys the crap out of me. Probably because I grew up with, "You're really tall" my whole life. Nothing like a MOTO to cause uncontrollable eye-rolling and snarky remarks, I tell ya. (That's a Master of the Obvious to those playing at home.)

I try very hard to be nice when dealing with people. I like to be treated nicely, so I do the same. Every now and then I think nasty thoughts in my head whilst saying "Yup" and "Sure is". However, as much as I'd like to imagine myself a sassy gal, I'm much more chicken than I'd like to be. I think I'll just adopt that 1,000 yard stare and say, "Not yet." It's not rude per se...but it will feed the snarky little imp that runs through my brain when I'm faced with a MOTO.

[Quixii]

I think I do the "Yup," and smile thing.
If I'm feeling snarkier, then I think I say, "I'm aware," with a straight face.

[DARKMARTIAN]

......ive been told similar things many times and usually I just say "thanks...it didnt happen overnight though". or something to that effect. Ive gotten used to peoples curiosity and it doesnt really bother me....:)

[Aliped]

I don't wear my hair down in public.

It's a rare occurrence for me too, but I usually mutter "Oh wow you are observant". sometimes followed by "did you have to train for that?"

In my experience, it's never been a compliment.

[Malibu Barbie]

I get it a lot everytime I go out ... I say, Thank you. Sometimes, it does get old. I've had people follow me around when at malls ect..It can get weird but I love to wear my hair down so I guess I shouldn't complain...I just find it weird sometimes.

[Wheatland]

Many many times I am the person saying "wow you have such long hair" and it is never meant to be rude or mean. I mean it as a compliment and I am awed by it. 99% of the time I say that to someone though, I get a snippy, rude remark. For many years this made me very uncomfortable around people with long hair. I thought they were mean and so I started just ignoring the fact that they had long hair and awkwardly leaving it out of a get-to-know-each-other conversation.

I can understand that some people have bad days, or may get annoyed at having the same comment said about them over and over but it's not just cause to make another person feel bad. Many people say "you have such long hair" when they first see your hair because long hair these days is quite uncommon and so they are probably just shocked by it. Usually it's followed by a more decisive compliment.

So take the comment for what it is (90% of the time), just a person's amazement at your uniqueness and perseverance.

It is not difficult, nor challenging to be kind.

[DARKMARTIAN]

Many many times I am the person saying "wow you have such long hair" and it is never meant to be rude or mean. I mean it as a compliment and I am awed by it. 99% of the time I say that to someone though, I get a snippy, rude remark. For many years this made me very uncomfortable around people with long hair. I thought they were mean and so I started just ignoring the fact that they had long hair and awkwardly leaving it out of a get-to-know-each-other conversation.

I can understand that some people have bad days, or may get annoyed at having the same comment said about them over and over but it's not just cause to make another person feel bad. Many people say "you have such long hair" when they first see your hair because long hair these days is quite uncommon and so they are probably just shocked by it. Usually it's followed by a more decisive compliment.

So take the comment for what it is (90% of the time), just a person's amazement at your uniqueness and perseverance.

It is not difficult, nor challenging to be kind.

:hifive: right on, Wheatland :)

[Wheatland]

:hifive: right on, Wheatland :)
Thank you, DARKMARTIAN. :D

[nellreno]

I'm always surprised when someone complains about getting a *compliment*. I mean, I don't think it would be better if everyone started saying "Oh, you're so ugly!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


To the people who wonder about some of the snappy comebacks to a generally inoffensive statement: There comes a point when you hear "Your hair is long" one too many times. You just get annoyed and snap a little. I hear it every time I wear my hair down when I'm out and about. Every single time. You are probably wondering, why then do I wear it down at all? Because I love it and I want to! Now, I almost always say, "Yup!" or "Sure is." I refuse to say thank you because it's not a compliment; it's a statement. For the most part I am used to hearing it and it usually doesn't bother me. Every now and then, though, I will be in a less than charitable mood (I'm fairly certain that this happens to everyone) and it just annoys the crap out of me. Probably because I grew up with, "You're really tall" my whole life. Nothing like a MOTO to cause uncontrollable eye-rolling and snarky remarks, I tell ya. (That's a Master of the Obvious to those playing at home.)

I try very hard to be nice when dealing with people. I like to be treated nicely, so I do the same. Every now and then I think nasty thoughts in my head whilst saying "Yup" and "Sure is". However, as much as I'd like to imagine myself a sassy gal, I'm much more chicken than I'd like to be. I think I'll just adopt that 1,000 yard stare and say, "Not yet." It's not rude per se...but it will feed the snarky little imp that runs through my brain when I'm faced with a MOTO.

But the person who's commenting on your hair doesn't know how many comments you've gotten that day or that week, so would they really deserve a snarky comeback? If I were to see you in real life, I'd want to talk about your hair because you have nice hair.

[trolleypup]

But the person who's commenting on your hair doesn't know how many comments you've gotten that day or that week, so would they really deserve a snarky comeback? If I were to see you in real life, I'd want to talk about your hair because you have nice hair.
Exactly.

Except...

I used to operate the F-line in San Francisco (historic streetcars (not the cable cars[1]) that go from downtown to Fisherman's Wharf). Even though I knew intellectually that the question "Do you go to Fisherman's Wharf" was new to each person who boarded[2], it took a while for me to stop being smart/curt/rude to the 10th or 15th or 20th person boarding at a single stop asking the same question...and honestly, it wasn't until my third year as motorman that I really stopped getting internally upset about that incessant question and just answered the last like the first.

So I cut everyone a break...both sides.

And when I make a hair compliment, it is almost always a drive by "Great[3] Hair!"

[1] We actually got asked the question MORE than the cable cars, but only because we fit far more people on the streetcars.

[2] Yes, there are signs on the front and side of the car that indicate the destination "Fisherman's Wharf".

[3] Or some other positive adjective, but definitely something that is not subject to misinterpretation in word or tone.

[Bene]

It is not difficult, nor challenging to be kind.


In the "you have long hair" sense, I can't see any real reason for being snotty about it. People remark on the most obvious things sometimes. It happens. Big deal. This thread makes me realize how hypersensitive people can be about certain things. If you don't like it, fine, it's well within your rights to not like something. But if the person had no intention to be nasty, there are other ways to deal with it than some of the responses I've seen here.



However, there a lot of times when I do find it difficult AND challenging to be kind. Sometimes, being kind to people when they do or say some stupid s**t makes them think it's perfectly ok to do or say it again.


But "you have long hair", I don't see that as one of those "I need to nip it in the bud" or "make this person feel bad/stupid about it" situation. It's not an insult or a criticism. I'm laughing that people will actually respond in some of the ways I've seen here. I'm hoping that some of them were tongue-in-cheek, for the sake of a laugh, because I really don't want to be associated (as a long hair) with those kind of people.

[Wheatland]

However, there a lot of times when I do find it difficult AND challenging to be kind. Sometimes, being kind to people when they do or say some stupid s**t makes them think it's perfectly ok to do or say it again.



Personally I feel that if a person says or does something "stupid", it is not right to make them feel bad for it unless it has hurt me or someone I love. If a person is being mean or cruel then of course kindness is not always the appropriate reaction, and maybe that's what you meant by "stupid". :shrug:

[Nenyath]

A simple "thank you". If they mean it as a compliment (the only way I have ever heard it) this response will keep people happy, if it's something else, well, what better way of disarming them than by surprise? I think that if it ever turned worse, I would probably use the "I'm not here to decorate your world" response which I have from this forum.. :)

[DARKMARTIAN]

Its not rocket science and ya dont have to be a genius for the most part to make a reasonable determination as to whether or not an individual means a particular statement as an insult, an actual compliment or more of a neutral observation. And I personally can say that my response to such interactions will almost inevitably be made in accordance to what the situation warrants. Unless im legitimately and genuinely in a state of some kind of psychological distress, then I would never snap back at someone for commenting on my hair unless, and as ive stated, it was obviously intended to be discourteous.

[Honestwitness]

Ok. I'm cured. No more smart aleck comebacks. From now on it will be a smile and a thank you. You have all helped me see that anything more or less could come across as ungracious.

[eternallyverdan]

Whoa, I didn't think that this thread would cause such controversy when I started it!

As I said in the initial post, I've always tried my best to be kind and polite to people, and I've never been sarcastic in response to a comment about my hair, regardless of how mean or passive aggressive it is. I'll agree that often people are just surprised or a bit confused by long hair, and they tend to just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind-- a statement of the obvious.

Other people want to be complimentary, but can't think of anything to say that they think doesn't sound creepy, so once again they default to "You have long hair," which is fine, and flattering, and usually leads to a short conversation about how that person used to have long hair, or what shampoo I use, or what I do with it when I go to the bathroom, or whatever else springs to mind.

My default response in those cases is something like "Yeah, I guess it is, thanks!"

Then there's the third kind of person, who's being rude, or oblivious, or condescending. These are some of the things that I've had people say to me:

Your hair is so long--
a) You should cut it.
b) Don't you get tired of not being able to do anything with it?
c) Do you ever trim the ends? (the "it doesn't look it" is often implied)
d) Imagine how many kinds with cancer could have wigs if you donated it!
e) You would look so much better with layers/ a bob/ curly hair/ straightened hair.

These are the situations in which it's tempting to use some of the sarcastic comments that I've thought up over the years, but frankly I don't think it's worth the trouble of making myself angry over someone else's hair neuroses. I usually just say something diplomatic and extricate myself from the situation.

For me at least, this thread was meant to be more of a theoretical exercise: thinking of all the things you might say to people if there were no consequences and you had free reign to be mean or funny or sarcastic without hurting any feelings.

Let's all try to remember that we're allowed our own opinions on the subject, and that it's not polite to pass judgments on people for their honest responses to what can be a very awkward situation, depending on tone and context. Keep it KNIT, people! :cheese:

[Wheatland]

Whoa, I didn't think that this thread would cause such controversy when I started it!

Let's all try to remember that we're allowed our own opinions on the subject, and that it's not polite to pass judgments on people for their honest responses to what can be a very awkward situation, depending on tone and context. Keep it KNIT, people! :cheese:

I don't think it's caused very much controversy at all. Like you said, we all just have differing opinions on the matter. ;)

And a lot of these replies that kind of have a smart alec response would probably make me smile if they were ever said to me in a good, friendly nature.

[Angela_Rose]

Mostly I just say "yep." Occasionally if I'm feeling snippy, I come back with something along the lines of "wow! You noticed!" and then stalk away.

This is why my hair is always up.

[lapushka]

When it's obviously meant to hurt, or they're trying to put you down in order to make themselves feel better, then they deserve what's coming to them, and of course at that time you can't think of a witty reply. Other than that, when people are just trying to be nice, it doesn't bother me, however much I hear it.

[reverie24]

Arg I hate when people state facts like that. I often get, "you're quiet" or, "you're shy." I always want to reply back, "and you are incredibly loud and obnoxious" but have yet to do so.

Last night I got the "you have long hair" one but I'm excited it's long enough for people to say that now, and it was with friends so it didn't bother me this time.

[Anywhere]

"You're damn right I do." *swings hair around* :D

[RoseRed27]

So, being mean to someone who's honestly curious is supposed to be fun or cool now? If someone asks me that I just say "About four years", because four years ago my hair got cut off and I decided to grow it out.

Honestly, y'all are overreacting.

Yeah, when people ask how long I've been growing it, I know what they mean! :p They don't mean "how long have you had hair?", they mean "how long did it take to reach that length from your previous shorter length, or was your hair always that long since childhood?". It's implied.

And most people who say something about my hair (99.97%), mean it in a positive way. They usually sound shocked, pleased, amused, curious, etc. So I usually say "Thank you". And I've never had any one say "Hey, whoa, it wasn't a compliment, I was just making random observations out loud." And I think there is nothing wrong with making an observational comment like "Your hair sure is long/thick/curly/black/red/shiny/etc." If someone said "Man, the sky sure is blue", my first thought wouldn't be "*scoff* I can see that. Is this your first time seeing the sky? :rolleyes: ugh!!!!!!!!. (Unless I was being playful and feigning annoyance at a freind!^__^)

But maybe I don't get as many hair comments as others. Even though I think I get plenty. Maybe some people's patience has run thin. ;)

[anodyne_ame]

I love your answer, Anywhere, I'll try and remember to use that next time! :D

I too was surprised to see that people get so angry about hair comments, even more so to hear that in many cases the comments are meant as negative. I've never had anyone insult my long hair before, nor any of my friends, so that was something new and somewhat hard to imagine for me.

The most common comment I get is pretty much the stating-the-obvious, but it's always said because people are genuinely surprised and curious. For example my co-worker gave me the "You're hair is so long!" just the other day, together with a big smille. We've worked together for two years and this is the first time she has seen my hair down.

I can imagine the frustration about the hair comments, especially if they're meant as insults. I don't see the merit in being rude or mean though. But, I haven't gotten tired of hair comments yet so I'm always very pleased when someone says something about my hair, and thank them. So far no one has corrected me that they actually meant it as an insult :P

[xoxophelia]

I'm sorry this happens to you, xoxophelia. That is really mean. On a side note, you look beautiful in your avatar!

What I meant with my previous comment is that some people are used to a certain length as standard, so, let's say waist length won't feel so long to them, while for others is plenty!

I was trying to more or less agree with your post actually ^^'.. And thank you.


Well, you are pretty girl (judging from your pic). They are obviously jealous and insecure.Some women pick on girls that wake up insecurities in them. It is the only way that they can feel better about themselves(even if it only lasts a second). I hate that women feel the need to rip each other apart. We can sometimes be each other's worst enemies. Anyways, brush it off. :)

I do also think a lot of it has to do with insecurities. It can be painful when you get a group of those girls banning together to just rip you down at every chance they get, but I do realize the reality of it. All you can do is try to be your best. :)

Part of me thinks it would be funny if somebody commented on your hair length and really obviously didn't like it to just say "Oh I know! I get so tired of it always draaaggging in the TOILET!"

haha... their reaction would be priceless.

[somethingducky]

I always try to take it as a compliment. I think it's usually just a surprise for people to see such long pretty hair and they want to acknowledge it in some way but aren't quite sure how to put it. I always try to reply with a Thank You.

For example; I wear my hair up at work all the time (starting as a vet tech) and it would get in the way or even be dangerous if i didn't so my co workers have never really seen me with my hair down. I guess that one or two of then saw me brushing and restyling at lunch one day because now all the other girls keep asking to see how long it is and I've been getting a lot of "Wow, it's so long!" comments. And I have had some "Why have it long when it's up all the time?" questions and really just a lot of whys. Mostly I just smile and say that's how I like it.

On the brighter side of things I have had a girl on the street stop in her tracks just to say "OMG it's so pretty!" and another time an older teenage boy said really shyly that his Abuelita (spanish for grandma) had hair that long before she died and that it was pretty. Those are the comments that made me smile the most.

[sneakybea]

I always say thank you. Maybe they didn't mean it as a compliment, but if I take it as one, very few people will be rude enough to add "that wasn't a compliment."

[GlassWidow]

My husband is a lampworker and was discussing with several other lampworkers last night the weird conversations they sometimes get on etsy. The most popular unsolicted advice seems to be along the lines of "your beads are really beautiful. You should make a bunch of them and donate them to 'x' charity!" One woman responded with a story that I thought belonged here.

This woman has long hair, and shoppers visiting her table at craft shows often throw a mere glance at her beads, but tell her how beautiful her hair is. So beautiful, in fact, that she should cut it and donate it to cancer patients. Her response (which she probably only says in her head) is: "And look at you, walking around with two functioning kidneys! Maybe you should just donate one of those to someone who needs one." :lol:

[Dark Queen]

I guess I have a lot to learn because I honestly can't imagine someone behaving that way! I'm sorry to all those people it's actually happened to. That's just not right!

I agree, that surprises me. I've had people make plenty of varying comments, but I'm nice about it because from my experience, even the more negative sounding comments are out of curiosity. I think people are just socially awkward in that sense. People who ask how long I've been growing it want to know if it's a conscious effort or if I just let it happen. To people who ask why I don't cut it or say I should, I usually ask, "why would I?" 9 times out of 10, they just have the misconception that it's insanely hard to keep up with. It's not as hard as it looks.

[Jessica Trapp]

"I'm growing it out to double as a swim suit cover up."

[Dark Queen]

Part of me thinks it would be funny if somebody commented on your hair length and really obviously didn't like it to just say "Oh I know! I get so tired of it always draaaggging in the TOILET!"

haha... their reaction would be priceless.

ROFL! I actually have gotten asked about the using the toilet before. It's the reason I carry at least one hair clip EVERYWHERE :).



This woman has long hair, and shoppers visiting her table at craft shows often throw a mere glance at her beads, but tell her how beautiful her hair is. So beautiful, in fact, that she should cut it and donate it to cancer patients. Her response (which she probably only says in her head) is: "And look at you, walking around with two functioning kidneys! Maybe you should just donate one of those to someone who needs one." :lol:

I've never had that asked of me before, but I have to admit that response made me chuckle.

[MrsGuther]

I agree that it definitely depends on the tone of the comment. I would just smile and walk away. My hair is nobody else's business. If someone meant it in a complimentary way and I could tell that they meant it that way I would most likely say "Yes, my hair is long. Thank you."
Or just smile... can't go wrong with a smile I guess... :/

[Dolly]

I didn't read the whole thread, so somebody may use the same one I do. Sometimes, I just ignore it or smile.....but if I am feeling usually sarcastic, I will say "REALLY?" Pull it over my shoulder, look at it in amazement, and say....."Wow! How did that get there?"

[Locksmith]

I usually say "Thanks" and grin. Hey, I want my hair to be long, so I'll take it as a compliment. If it's said in surprise at me taking down an updo, it's "Yeah, it folds up surprisingly small." I'd be much more sarcastic if someone said it in a rude fashion, but nobody ever has that I recall.

[Locksmith]

5) "I thought that was a requirement for females of your species. Has there been a flaw in my programming?"

:rollin: This is awesome. :D

[jil]

I often say, "thank you for noticing!" Because I rarely wear my hair down in public, and when I do wear it down, it is because I think it looks nice that day. :)

[maborosi]

Usually if I said something like that, it's not intended to be insulting, but a compliment. I'd assume most people who say "Wow, you've got long hair!" don't mean to be rude when they say it.

Maybe, "Wow, your hair is really pretty" is better, but I'd not be offended if someone said I had really long hair, because I'd be flattered if they acknowledged my hard work and dedication!! ^^

Now, if they said it in a demeaning tone, that's another story...

~maborosi~

[stevekooch]

Usually, when someone ask this to my wife she answer: "long? No, it just your impression :-)"
The second question is always: "from how long you do not cut it?", and she answer, "about 3 months, when I trimmed it". :p

[SurprisingWoman]

Wowzers, and these responses from people that like long hair! Oy!

I LOVE compliments on my hair. I always assume comments are meant in a flattering way. I have had a few (from friends, oddly enough) about how my hair is getting too long or that I am too old for it to be long but they mean well. They just have a different culture than I do. They probably also think I need to diet and have invited me to their gym so we can "spend more time together" and I know that is also said with love, from their perspective.

I am soooo glad I am not uber defensive about everything in my life. It would certainly make a long day if I bristled at everything everyone said.

One day I was at the self check out at the grocery store with my hair in a hair stick bun. I had problems and the young man that was in charge of the registers came over to help me. He stayed and talked to me about how much he loved "my generation" and wished he had grown up in the 60's and 70's. He then asked me why I let my hair go gray. It was just a question, not a snark comment. I asked him why shouldn't I? My husband is balding AND gray, why should women feel compelled to do something about natural changes? He said, "WOW, that's true, I never thought of it like that." Then I told him, "my hair isn't just gray, it's long and gray" and I took out my hair stick and shook my head a couple of times, and my hair was probably tailbone at the time. His reaction was PRICELESS. He was in shock. It was soooo funny. He was a cute boy and if I had taken offense I couldn't have made him think about why the burden of being "forever young" is just for women.

I like comments on my hair. Even the snarky ones show me it's working. I am making people think and if they are defensive it shows a lack in them, not me.

[Madora]

Well said, Surprising Woman!

[UltraBella]

I get a lot of comments about my hair when it's down and I just assume that they are positive and my response is always to say thank you and flash a smile.
I am not sure it is the length of my hair, it's only at hip, it may be more the sheer amount of hair I have that catches people off guard. Or maybe the combination. Either way, I have never felt like someone was being snarky and no one has ever suggested I cut it, donate it, etc.
Sometimes people want to touch it and are curious how heavy it is and if they touch without asking it bugs me, but I am still kind and patient overall. I just don't have a reason not to be, and my hair likes the attention :)

[ooo]

I don't get what's so bad about the "you have long hair" comment.

[ladylovecraft]

Though my hair isn't quite long enough to get these sort of comments (yet!) I had pink hair for quite some time and got a lot of "you have pink hair!"

Now if it's the wide-eyed, sort of amazed comment, I'd probably nod and smile or something. But any tone of malice will get "No sh*t, Sherlock" or "Are they still teaching you your colors in school? Yes, this is pink, and your hair is brown. Good job!"

I can't wait to have to deal with these sort of things ^_^

[jaine]

I usually say "thank you" because I assume it's a compliment. I like getting the long hair comment when it's only shoulder length but it only comes from friends who are used to seeing me with a pixie just a year ago.

[luxepiggy]

I always just take it as a compliment, smile and say "I know! Yay!" (^(oo)^)v

[JulietCapulet]

Ugh, right up there with, "Your hair is getting long." Yes... yes it is.

So that's what I say. Yes... yes it is. :)

I think it's nice for people to comment on length. Why is everyone so negative about this here? It is sad to see how nasty some of these comments are to or about people who are just admiring or noticing long hair. In fact it's shameful and rude. Be thankful that you have long hair for someone to comment on and stop complaining.

[BranwenWolf]

I give them a faintly startled look, like I have suddenly just been dragged back into reality land after zoning out, and say "Really?"
I find appearing slightly dumb and out of touch gets people to leave me alone.

[skaempfer]

I guess I can see both sides of this.
A long, long time ago I worked in a tourist trap which sold postcards in addition to everything else. It is hard to appreciate how insane a simple question, "Do you sell stamps?" can drive you until you've been asked it 167,000 times. OTOH, the people asking it just wanted to know if we had stamps or if they would have to drag themselves up to the post office at the other end of the village.

Anyway, we were polite because we understood why they were asking, but we drew cartoons and comics about it to let off steam, and it worked and gave us a laugh. I'm assuming that's the purpose of this thread? I don't know about hair, but I'm guilty of the, "oh, you're tall!" remark. Felt like captain obvious, but he took it well and I was grateful.
:cheese:

[LisaMonster]

I think it's nice for people to comment on length. Why is everyone so negative about this here? It is sad to see how nasty some of these comments are to or about people who are just admiring or noticing long hair. In fact it's shameful and rude. Be thankful that you have long hair for someone to comment on and stop complaining.

Agreed.

If you feel weird saying "Thank you" for someone making the observation that it is long, you could say, "Thank you for noticing."

I still find, "Yes, it is" as rather catty.

[Uni&Corn]

I think it's nice for people to comment on length. Why is everyone so negative about this here? It is sad to see how nasty some of these comments are to or about people who are just admiring or noticing long hair. In fact it's shameful and rude. Be thankful that you have long hair for someone to comment on and stop complaining.

I agree with you. Most of the time they are admiring your length or just surprised. I'm sure we all do this too, with something else. We should always answer a comment--whether nice, mean, or stupid--with grace, because we all say mean and stupid things sometimes :o

[emmaya]

if it sounds like they're being snarky I usually say something like "thank you, Captain Obvious."

but most of the time it's complimentary and I'll stop at the "thank you"!

[mrs_coffee]

I've never had hair long enough to warrant a "You have long hair" comment, but my middle daughter has waist-length red hair and when someone says "Your hair is long" she smiles, nods and says "Indeed I do."

[LisaButz2001]

I always get, "Your hair is long, and Are you going to cut it, together." Sometimes the comment catches me off guard. I say, "Yes it is." but I smile and I don't use an aggressive tone. I'm not being catty, just floundering for a response. Now, my hair has actually gotten longer than my friends are used to. On Friday night a good friend said something and I said, "I know." Last night a different friend said, "Your hair is really long." It was loose, but behind my shoulders, so she walked up to me and touched the spot it reached to show the others. She is really appreciative of the length. A little later she asked if I was going to cut it. I made up my face like I'd eaten soming sour and shook my head, no. Thing is, my friends say, "Are you going to cut it?" just to tease me. They're more or less resigned to the permanent long hair, and some genuinely like it. I wouldn't be rude to them. I might not be rude to a total stranger, unless they were refusing to respect my right to have long hair.