PDA

View Full Version : My Hair Story



Wheatland
January 13th, 2011, 01:51 AM
When I was a little girl I always had very long hair. Then, one day when I was in the 6th grade I went in to get my BSL hair cut to shoulder length. The woman who cut my hair was talking to my mom while doing her job and when she was finished the cut was VERY uneven. One side was way longer than the other. As a little girl I was too insecure and shy to say when I didn't like something so I quietly asked if she could just make it all one length. At this point... another woman came over and they BOTH started cutting my hair at the SAME time. Again, I was young... I didn't understand the kind of ramifications this would entail. So, before I knew it, I had a pixie cut. I thanked the stylist and walked out of the salon as my mom paid. When we were in the car I burst into tears and screamed that my life was ruined (I know, dramatic :cool:). My mom did everything she could to help me, including taking me to mall to buy little hair pins and headbands. The next day at school I was ridiculed for my short hair and felt miserable.

I grew my hair back out again to shoulder length but it never got much longer. In my mind, ever since that horrible day, I associated long hair with happiness. As I got older I started having bouts of depression that was later diagnosed as Clinical Depression and I was put on medication and in group and individual counseling. I had good days and bad days, but on days that were my worst, when I usually did something that greatly upset my mother (a bad grade, losing money, ect.) I would retreat to my room with a pair of scissors and hack off all my hair.

I didn't realize that what I was doing was just another form of self mutilation. I was taking away something I greatly cherished and desired because I felt I didn't deserve it. My Mom noticed this behavior but didn't find the correlation until I was in my later high school years. She talked to me about it and it all of a sudden made sense. It was the greatest epiphany I've had in my life. Before, I hadn't really analyzed my actions.

My Mom became determined to try and stop this self inflicted punishment but I just found other ways to destroy what I loved. Once, when I couldn't cut my hair when I was upset, I started tearing up my artwork. My room was littered with scraps of drawings I had torn and crumbled in fit of rage and overwhelming sadness. As an artist, the loss of my art after I had realized what I had done was more tumultuous than cutting all my hair off had ever been. So the cycle began again of me cutting my hair when I was upset.

Finally, about two years ago. I started the road to recovery. I was able to have one of my bad days and resist the desire to cut all my hair off or destroy what I loved. I can now proudly say that I haven't cut off my hair because of sadness in almost two years. But in November 2010 I did cut my BSL hair into a pixie because my boyfriend was egging me on and because of boredom (I didn't know how to take care of my hair or what to do with it.)

I have now decided to grow my hair to waist length, longer than it's been in many many years. I am so happy that I've found this forum because I know that if I ever get in a rut and feel the desire to cut my hair off I will have all the kind people here to convince me to drop the scissors and realize I DESERVE to have the long hair I've always wanted.

This is a request for people to be there for me, and help me through this process as I try to overcome a huge obstacle.

Thank you for reading. I already love you all. :heartbeat

Ana-Laura
January 13th, 2011, 02:05 AM
I was looking at your pictures and you have beautiful, thick, shiny hair. You look really good with short hair and I'm sure you will look great with long hair too :)
It's good that you have your mother to support you, and this forum!

Wheatland
January 13th, 2011, 02:12 AM
I was looking at your pictures and you have beautiful, thick, shiny hair. You look really good with short hair and I'm sure you will look great with long hair too :)
It's good that you have your mother to support you, and this forum!
Thank you so much. :D

Dragon
January 13th, 2011, 02:17 AM
I am very glad you are on the road to recovery. I’m sorry about what happened to you when you were younger. That must have been so traumatic. We are here for you and you will get the long hair you have always deserved. I just had a look at your pitchers, short hair does look good on you but can’t wait to see it long. Happy growing :) Nice art work. You will get there. Don't give up :grouphug:

Lianna
January 13th, 2011, 02:28 AM
From someone who also used to cut hair with bad reasons, I'm more than happy to be here. You do deserve to have long hair, and we are all here to support each other. I've seen you in the super-shortie thread, you should definaly subscribe, if you already didn't. It's a really cozy place to be. :)

Wheatland
January 13th, 2011, 02:44 AM
I am very glad you are on the road to recovery. I’m sorry about what happened to you when you were younger. That must have been so traumatic. We are here for you and you will get the long hair you have always deserved. I just had a look at your pitchers, short hair does look good on you but can’t wait to see it long. Happy growing :) Nice art work. You will get there. Don't give up :grouphug:
Thank you so much for the support and compliment. I'm grateful to find a place with people who understand my obsession over my hair.


From someone who also used to cut hair with bad reasons, I'm more than happy to be here. You do deserve to have long hair, and we are all here to support each other. I've seen you in the super-shortie thread, you should definaly subscribe, if you already didn't. It's a really cozy place to be. :)
Thank you, Liana! I will definitely subscribe to the Super-shorties thread.