View Full Version : Why my hair is not ideally suited to being long!
Cupofmilk
January 10th, 2011, 07:36 AM
My thread has been totally misunderstood. So I shall delete this post simply to stop people misunderstanding me and my hair. The title was meant to be a question and this was meant to be fun. I am very sorry that I appear to have upset people.
Messyhair
January 10th, 2011, 08:30 AM
I don't think there's a single person that can't point out something that's not ideal about their hair. I know mine is horribly messy and frizzy, and way too thick to sit nicely when it's long. It tends to clump into a stringy weirdness... but it's my stringy weirdness and I'll grow it as long as I like anyway. :)
ETA: I only post photos of my hair freshly combed so it looks nice - this is NOT my "real-life" hair!
Igor
January 10th, 2011, 10:10 AM
I think you can find lots of members here with beautiful and long manes that have the exact kind of hair that you describe as “not ideal”.
If you have not already decided to not grow longer (Which it really sounds like?) you will find lots of tips on care and handling from people with the very same “problems” as you and many, many up dos suitable for a work place.
Personally I have always thought hair was a lot like eyes: Even if the owner doesn’t find their eyes special, they are. No pair of eyes have ever been ugly. They have their own special beauty no matter colour, shape or size.
madeline_
January 10th, 2011, 10:14 AM
Kudos to you all the same for reaching your current length. I recognize a lot of your points (apart from the amount, I don't have a lot of hair), the tangles, the messiness, the people telling me all my life I will never be able to grow longer than shoulder length, ack!
spidermom
January 10th, 2011, 10:18 AM
Clumping is not a problem. Everybody around here loves my hair best when I let it do it's thing and don't comb it.
I also get sick and tired of my old-lady buns and think about having hair somewhere around BSL to waist length - easy to wear down, easy to put up. Maybe some day.
ericthegreat
January 10th, 2011, 10:24 AM
I think you can find lots of members here with beautiful and long manes that have the exact kind of hair that you describe as “not ideal”.
If you have not already decided to not grow longer (Which it really sounds like?) you will find lots of tips on care and handling from people with the very same “problems” as you and many, many up dos suitable for a work place.
Personally I have always thought hair was a lot like eyes: Even if the owner doesn’t find their eyes special, they are. No pair of eyes have ever been ugly. They have their own special beauty no matter colour, shape or size.
This precisely.
There is no such thing as hair that isn't "ideally suited" to being long.
All hair types, with the proper individual care are beautiful. The key is learning to work with what you have and learning to love what you have, instead of always looking at someone else's hair and envying what they have.
ravenreed
January 10th, 2011, 10:26 AM
How long is long? I already consider my hair long enough. If it gets past the point where it is too painful to wear up, then I will trim back to manageable levels. Waist is quite long enough for most people and it sounds like you are fine at waist.
Do you really need a blunt hemline? I have wavy hair and my hair loves to be in layers. As for the tangles, when my hair is loose I probably brush or finger comb it 25 times a day to keep it from snarling. My hair can tangle in a braid or a bun. I have no idea how, but it does. I use a very slippery conditioner, without cones, just to be able to run a comb through my hair on a regular basis.
My hair has gotten less messy looking as it got longer because the weight of my hair has made it less big and flouffy. Also, switching to CO has made my hair a lot less frizzy which can increase the "bird's nest" effect. When my hair was shoulder length it had... personality. It was a snarly, wild mess and I loved it. Now it looks a lot more dignified.
Amraann
January 10th, 2011, 10:39 AM
This precisely.
There is no such thing as hair that isn't "ideally suited" to being long.
All hair types, with the proper individual care are beautiful. The key is learning to work with what you have and learning to love what you have, instead of always looking at someone else's hair and envying what they have.
This exactly.
ArienEllariel
January 10th, 2011, 10:52 AM
I could say that myself because I have very fine hair that is prone to splits even with lots of TLC but it's not stopping me from growing my hair out.
reverie24
January 10th, 2011, 11:30 AM
I completely understand how you feel-my hair is just weird. Not straight not wavy not curly but a combination of all three, really fluffy even though I've lost a ton of thickness lately and if its even a little bit humid, a frizzy mess....
But still, we are both choosing to grow our hair. I do agree that I can learn how to make my hair the best it can be, and how to manage it so it isn't so bad!
lapushka
January 10th, 2011, 11:38 AM
Yesterday I saw a lady with waist length thick shiny hair - shampoo advert hair. It had the perfect amount of swing and bounce and length. Had it grown much longer it would simply have lost the swing and not had so much wow factor. (in my humble opinion of course).
That set me thinking - is my hair ideally suited to being long?
Was her hair the same texture as yours? Shampoo ad hair, really? Comparing your hair to a texture that isn't yours is the most terrible thing you could do to yourself; that's pure torture because it's a goal that isn't attainable. It's also very unrealistic.
I think for me the answer is no and here's why?
1) I have very fine hair
2) I have a lot of it
3) It is wavey and even curly underneath
4) Due to all the above it is prone to huge tangles
5) When I get below tailbone I can't wear it down and sit down otherwise it ends up in a huge tangle
6) It always looks messy (personally I don't mind) - I know people at work would see my mad hair as messy and what my mother thinks could not be typed (too rude)
7) As a result of the weight of my hair - wearing it up is hard work when it gets to below TB.
8) finding updos for lots of hair to work in an old-fashioned professional environment is difficult
9) Fairytale ends - my hair spirals itself in clumps naturally so I never get a blunt hemline unless I cut above midback and brush and use cones. This would be the killer for most blunt hemline lovers!
I'm not going to let the above get in my way of growing my hair but I have to say that it does hinder me at times. The hard thing is my hair only looks good down if I am dressed in a fashion to match my lovely wavey mess.
PS My nickname at school was bird's nest!!!!
I think this is about texture, not long hair. Short or long, you're still going to have the same texture. And a 2a texture short, well, brace yourself, 'cause it's going to be a lot worse than the problems you have now. Unless you're willing to devote an hour a day towards styling it, to look halfway presentable, I'd keep it long if I were you.
I'd also look into wavy textures and how to properly deal with it. Try looking into the curly girl method, plopping, etc. ...
Madora
January 10th, 2011, 11:54 AM
You wrote "Finding updos for lots of hair to work in an old fashioned professional environment is difficult".
There are many buns and braided styles that are perfect for a work situation.
The thickness of your hair is certainly a plus in my eyes since you can achieve better results with thick hair than with thin. It's all boils down to sectioning your thick hair rather than trying to coil all of it in a bun or single braid bun. By sectioning your hair you distribute the weight more evenly and its comfortable all day.
IsabelleNaturelle has a great braided chinese bun tutorial on You Tube that is very easy to understand and quick to accomplish.
Angelica
January 10th, 2011, 11:58 AM
If you think your hair doesn't suit long, just compare it with mine. You couldn't possibly have finer hair than mine and mine is also poker straight which is a nightmare for fine haired people like me (in my opinion). And the thickness, well you have plenty of it.
It sounds like the hair you saw was pretty amazing, but I think it is fair to say that not a lot of people I have seen around outside have great hair (only on this forum). She was one of the few that you saw, it is all in the genes, and quite often you can't do anything about it.
Your hair looks great to me. Perhaps you are getting bored though? Updos should come with a little practice, if you are wanting to try them.
FluffSpider
January 10th, 2011, 12:12 PM
Most of the times, what we want isn't what we get. It's your decision not to grow long;you see your hair as you see it because you're used to it, and don't really see the beauty in it. Most people with iii hair would like my skinny ii hair, and vice versa, really! Also, buns are perfectly valid options for work:)
Annalouise
January 10th, 2011, 01:02 PM
I hear you sister! OMG. We have the same hairtype except mine is on the thin side between i and ii.
I sooo hear you. I can't believe it. You know, I comb and brush my hair in the living room watching tv. Then I walk to the bathroom to braid it before bed and from walking from the living room to the bathroom my hair gets tangled! I'm not kidding!:rolleyes: Then I have to detangle it all over again. Its unbelievable to me how hair can be so tangly.
My mom always chopped off my hair because she was unable to keep it tangle free. I was kindof mad at her as a kid because I wanted long hair. Well, guess what, now I know what my mother dealt with!
Even if I braid my hair it gets tangled. AND, get this, I thought bunning it would be a solution!? Hell no. When I bun my hair and then take the hair stick out. Guess what, my hair stays in a bun, for HOURS! It just stays like that. Then when I try and take it down its like fighting a snake that is coiled around your arm. I can't get it to go back down and when I do, guess what? Its tangled!
Its unbelievable to me. I should have dreadlocks. Thats it. I could have dreads in one day.:D
So, I have NO advise except to say - GOOD LUCK with that!:D
One thing that works is tons of coconut oil then I look like an oily sea otter. Oh yeah. Not really a solution but thought I'd mention it.
(using coney conditioners and leave in conditioners helps but I don't use them).
Annalouise
January 10th, 2011, 01:12 PM
You wrote "Finding updos for lots of hair to work in an old fashioned professional environment is difficult".
There are many buns and braided styles that are perfect for a work situation.
The thickness of your hair is certainly a plus in my eyes since you can achieve better results with thick hair than with thin. It's all boils down to sectioning your thick hair rather than trying to coil all of it in a bun or single braid bun. By sectioning your hair you distribute the weight more evenly and its comfortable all day.
IsabelleNaturelle has a great braided chinese bun tutorial on You Tube that is very easy to understand and quick to accomplish.
Hi Madora:) The only thing I don't like about this updo is that I'm in for the fight of my life if I use a bobby pin or clip. I tried this hair style, and it took me five minutes of agonizing - am I going to have to cut it out - minutes of struggle trying to get the bobby pin to let go of my hair. So bobby pins and metal clips are very bad for tangly hair. My hair just eats them and forms a dreadlock around them and becomes one with it.:D
Annalouise
January 10th, 2011, 01:34 PM
Sorry, for all the posts - I just wanted to say HEYY, not fair. Everyone who said "there is no IDEAL hair suited for long lenths" did NOT have fine hair.
If you don't have fine hair then you do not know the tangling issues ok. So in all fairness.:D
Madora
January 10th, 2011, 01:47 PM
@ Annalouise...Bobby pins are not really meant for long hair. You need hairpins to securely hold buns or braids. If you use bobby pins, you'd need a bunch of them to hold up the Chinese braided bun..and the less metal in your hair, the better.
As for the Braided Chinese Bun, it was meant for use with a hairstick. That's not to say that you couldn't do it with just hairpins, but the hairstick gives the style a firm anchor with which to wrap the braids around (and then pin in any spots which need extra support).
I don't like clamps or claws myself but to each his own!
lapushka
January 10th, 2011, 01:56 PM
If you don't have fine hair then you do not know the tangling issues ok. So in all fairness.:D
That's odd, 'cause I'm F and I don't have any idea what those horrible tangling issues are that you're talking about. :shrug:
I'm an F an I don't even get the tangling issues.
ravenreed
January 10th, 2011, 02:01 PM
No kidding. I am not an F at all and my hair tangles more than anyone else's I know, including those with F hair!
Sorry, for all the posts - I just wanted to say HEYY, not fair. Everyone who said "there is no IDEAL hair suited for long lenths" did NOT have fine hair.
If you don't have fine hair then you do not know the tangling issues ok. So in all fairness.:D
That's odd, 'cause I'm F and I don't have any idea what those horrible tangling issues are that you're talking about. :shrug:
I'm an F an I don't even get the tangling issues.
pepperminttea
January 10th, 2011, 02:09 PM
@ Annalouise...Bobby pins are not really meant for long hair. You need hairpins to securely hold buns or braids. If you use bobby pins, you'd need a bunch of them to hold up the Chinese braided bun..and the less metal in your hair, the better.
As for the Braided Chinese Bun, it was meant for use with a hairstick. That's not to say that you couldn't do it with just hairpins, but the hairstick gives the style a firm anchor with which to wrap the braids around (and then pin in any spots which need extra support).
I don't like clamps or claws myself but to each his own!
Perhaps it's just me, but I can never get wrap-around styles to hold without additional help, and always end up using many, many pins to hold the ends of the braids in to try and stop them unwrapping. Usually, it doesn't work, I give up, and stick it in a nautilus bun or a braid. I always thought I just needed more length to have something substantial to tuck them behind, but no luck yet. I haven't tried them since getting spin pins though... hmm! An experiment is in order. :D
Cupofmilk and Annalouise: I feel your pain. My hair loves a good tangle, even in a protective style. To comb mine, I usually split it into two and pull half over each shoulder to the front to detangle. Once I've done it, with fingercombing and a wooden comb, I push them gently back over my shoulder. When I gather my hair to bun it, or braid it, guess what I find? You guessed it, tangles! Where five seconds ago there were absolutely none! It's a recipe for frustration. All I can say is; patience and acceptance. One of the joys of the thick/fine/wavy-ish combination I'm afraid - but to make up for it, we do have hair that can be worn wavy or near-straight without heat, fine hair is often easier to make soft, and the thickness is quite nice to admire in braids and updos. :) There's always a silver lining.
If you're really desperate, I've read that henna thickens the hair strands, and considered that for a while, but I don't like maintaining roots.
GuardGirl
January 10th, 2011, 02:12 PM
If you only think one type of hair looks good long, you will always be disappointed if it is a type you don't have. Embrace your hair's beauty!! :)
ravenreed
January 10th, 2011, 02:15 PM
It isn't just you, my lazy wraps undo faster than my nautilus buns, which is really weird. I also find that with a lazy wrap I have to use a very light hair toy or one that is evenly balanced because otherwise it will lead to the bun tipping sideways and falling out. Or extra pins. Extra pins always help.
Perhaps it's just me, but I can never get wrap-around styles to hold without additional help, and always end up using many, many pins to hold the ends of the braids in to try and stop them unwrapping. Usually, it doesn't work, I give up, and stick it in a nautilus bun or a braid. I always thought I just needed more length to have something substantial to tuck them behind, but no luck yet. I haven't tried them since getting spin pins though... hmm! An experiment is in order. :D
Cupofmilk and Annalouise: I feel your pain. My hair loves a good tangle, even in a protective style. To comb mine, I usually split it into two and pull half over each shoulder to the front to detangle. Once I've done it, with fingercombing and a wooden comb, I push them gently back over my shoulder. When I gather my hair to bun it, or braid it, guess what I find? You guessed it, tangles! Where five seconds ago there were absolutely none! It's a recipe for frustration. All I can say is; patience and acceptance. One of the joys of the thick/fine/wavy-ish combination I'm afraid - but to make up for it, we do have hair that can be worn wavy or near-straight without heat, fine hair is often easier to make soft, and the thickness is quite nice to admire in braids and updos. :) There's always a silver lining.
If you're really desperate, I've read that henna thickens the hair strands, and considered that for a while, but I don't like maintaining roots.
Madora
January 10th, 2011, 02:18 PM
@ Pepperminttea. Yes, I too rely on hairpins to fully secure my updos, including the braided chinese bun.
The secret to getting everything tucked away and rock solid is to use the right size hairpin (mine are 3 inch crimped pins from Sallys), and then pinning them in such a way that they don't fall out.
I weave them thru my buns/braids by catching just a bit of the braid on the outside, then a tiny bit of the scalp hair underneath, then weaving the hairpin in an up and down motion through the hair. This is done at the four directions (n/s/e/west). If I think it needs more pins, then I use some smaller 2 inch pins.
When weaving I always make sure that nothing pinches or feels tight against my scalp, and that no 2 pins cross each other.
I'm not a fan of clamps because I loathe the "clamped feeling" and the way they're made (plus the way they look is not aesthetically pleasing. I'm of the "less is more" look when it comes to hairtoys).
Igor
January 10th, 2011, 02:29 PM
Okay, probably going to sound really mean here, but the underlying negativity in this thread is getting to me.
The thread title wasn’t a question, but a statement. That is Cupofmilks (Ops) personal opinion. Fine. She finds the answer is no, her hair isn’t suited to grow long.
Good for her, she find something she don’t like and is going for the opposite. I think? Or are you growing long even though you don’t like it?
But why feel the need to post all these “wrong” or “bad” properties about hair?
By your opinion, none of us would probably be able to grow long hair, or we shouldn’t.
I think honestly by your 9-point list you have managed to tell just about everyone on LHC that their hair has “bad” suitability to grow long. Why is that necessary?
These statements are no different than the ones people post about in the “Someone said something mean about my hair!” type of threads.
A lot of people with “bad” hair types have grown beautiful hair and love their type.
You could get so much more of out your hair if you truly wanted to: Shine, bounce and beautiful stylish up dos. Why would you chose to continue growing if you don’t truly enjoy it?
Cupofmilk
January 10th, 2011, 02:38 PM
sorry IGor - you have totally misunderstood me and my thread. It was meant to be one of those slightly amusing and funny takes on why I shouldn't be growing my hair any longer. I hate it this short - I used to have near classic length hair. I was hoping other people might see the lighter side and agree their hair isn't perfect either. To be honest I have lost all my confidence partially due to cutting my hair off - to the point where I actually don't want to leave the house sometimes as I feel so unhappy/ugly about it. I joined LHC to get some help tounderstand my hair and help me in the growing process. This thread seems to have alienated a lot of people and has as a result made me and them exteremely unhappy and helped me loose more confidence.
The last the I wish is to draw negativity out. No specific hair type is bad - each has pluses and minuses. I just wanted to make fun out of my own hair. Nonody else has it it's mine.
The thread title was meant to be a question and I am sorry you have misunderstood it and me. I find this sort of response very negative and disappointing in itself. I hate causing unhappiness - far too much of that in this world already.
Igor
January 10th, 2011, 02:49 PM
I’m very happy I misunderstood your post.
A lot of people actually believe these things and are not saying or writing them with a glint in their eyes or being ironic. Its hurtful for those people who have “bad” hair types and only helps to enforce the power of opinions for those who says it to belittle others.
SwordWomanRiona
January 10th, 2011, 02:51 PM
Yesterday I saw a lady with waist length thick shiny hair - shampoo advert hair. It had the perfect amount of swing and bounce and length. Had it grown much longer it would simply have lost the swing and not had so much wow factor. (in my humble opinion of course).
That set me thinking - is my hair ideally suited to being long?
I think for me the answer is no and here's why?
1) I have very fine hair
2) I have a lot of it
3) It is wavey and even curly underneath
4) Due to all the above it is prone to huge tangles
5) When I get below tailbone I can't wear it down and sit down otherwise it ends up in a huge tangle
6) It always looks messy (personally I don't mind) - I know people at work would see my mad hair as messy and what my mother thinks could not be typed (too rude)
7) As a result of the weight of my hair - wearing it up is hard work when it gets to below TB.
8) finding updos for lots of hair to work in an old-fashioned professional environment is difficult
9) Fairytale ends - my hair spirals itself in clumps naturally so I never get a blunt hemline unless I cut above midback and brush and use cones. This would be the killer for most blunt hemline lovers!
I'm not going to let the above get in my way of growing my hair but I have to say that it does hinder me at times. The hard thing is my hair only looks good down if I am dressed in a fashion to match my lovely wavey mess.
PS My nickname at school was bird's nest!!!!
Well, I really agree with what many posters are saying here: We should not make ourselves unhappy thinking that other people's hair is better than our own just because we like it. Looking at and admiring other people's hair is not bad, but comparing it with our hair and wishing (against hope) that it were different and more like theirs will do nothing but make us unhappy. But it is a very common "human flaw", I think. We always wish for what we haven't got.
Thus, I sometimes wish I had wavy hair, because my hair is stick straight, and, much oftener, long for more thickness. I pass over some of the "good qualities" of my hair when doing so, and, to cap it all, am I doing something to "make it better"? No!
Another thing I wanted to say is that I don't think there is an 'ideal hair type for keeping it long', as other people here said. I think that what matters is the texture of one's hair, and that if it tends to get tangled, for example, it will still get tangled at shoulder length. So, if you want to have long hair, have it!!
And a last thing: It isn't compulsory to have a blunt hemline, if you don't like it. Having fairytale ends does not mean having 'uncared for, split ends', it's just another style for your hemline.
Cupofmilk
January 10th, 2011, 02:56 PM
I agree - that it could be seen in that light - not my intention at all. As you say any hair type can grow long and beautiful hair or in fact be beautiful short.
I will have to be more careful with irony/poking fun at my hair in future. (it is something in the very dry sarcastic sense of humour I have grown up and is extremely common in my circle of friends.)
The only serious point is my mother. She hates my hair - she hates long hair fullstop and to be honest I am not sure why. That is something for another day.
SwordWomanRiona
January 10th, 2011, 03:19 PM
sorry IGor - you have totally misunderstood me and my thread. It was meant to be one of those slightly amusing and funny takes on why I shouldn't be growing my hair any longer. I hate it this short - I used to have near classic length hair. I was hoping other people might see the lighter side and agree their hair isn't perfect either. To be honest I have lost all my confidence partially due to cutting my hair off - to the point where I actually don't want to leave the house sometimes as I feel so unhappy/ugly about it. I joined LHC to get some help tounderstand my hair and help me in the growing process. This thread seems to have alienated a lot of people and has as a result made me and them exteremely unhappy and helped me loose more confidence.
The last the I wish is to draw negativity out. No specific hair type is bad - each has pluses and minuses. I just wanted to make fun out of my own hair. Nonody else has it it's mine.
The thread title was meant to be a question and I am sorry you have misunderstood it and me. I find this sort of response very negative and disappointing in itself. I hate causing unhappiness - far too much of that in this world already.
Great, so I read this post of yours after I posted my response. Please don't take me wrong either! I'm very happy it was an amusing take (I'm very fond of irony too, btw), but you have really made me think about how many of us cannot fully appreciate what we already have, I was also speaking about myself in what I wrote. And I feel that to talk about what we all have misunderstood :rolleyes: can serve to help ourselves take pleasure in our own hair, it's not only a "list of bad properties about hair".
And don't loose a bit of confidence, hair grows again, remember! :) And if I be allowed to say this, if your mother hates your hair, so what? The ONLY important thing is that you like your hair yourself!
Annalouise
January 10th, 2011, 04:05 PM
@ Annalouise...Bobby pins are not really meant for long hair. You need hairpins to securely hold buns or braids. If you use bobby pins, you'd need a bunch of them to hold up the Chinese braided bun..and the less metal in your hair, the better.
As for the Braided Chinese Bun, it was meant for use with a hairstick. That's not to say that you couldn't do it with just hairpins, but the hairstick gives the style a firm anchor with which to wrap the braids around (and then pin in any spots which need extra support).
I don't like clamps or claws myself but to each his own!
Hi Madora:) With the bun in discussion, she uses bobby pins to secure the ends underneath the bun. This is where I encountered mayhem. I know the hairstick secures the bun but the ends are secured with a pin as shown in the video. I tried to tuck the ends under and not pin them but they fall down.
Maybe...I could insert a second stick to keep the ends in place? That might work.:) Braiding the hair before bunning it definately decreases the tangle factor.
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