View Full Version : Pony Tail Angle of Attack vs. Intelligence

January 8th, 2011, 11:21 PM

exceedingly funny!

but after I initially laughed at this, I considered, wouldn't all long-hairs fall into the "above average" category when trying to do a ponytail? if only because the weight of the hair pulls the ponytail further and further down over the course of a day?

or should bun positioning be included in this? :p

January 9th, 2011, 12:07 AM
What's sad is the last person I can think of who wears their hair at the 'retarded' level once asked if the plane that hit the World Trade Center just flew out the other side, after watching several of the news clippings.

January 9th, 2011, 12:21 AM
Hahaha..... this seems to be fairly accurate!!

January 9th, 2011, 12:31 AM

January 9th, 2011, 12:36 AM
imagen having a bun at zero point ..
awesome. i might try it for a new look

January 9th, 2011, 12:41 AM
very interesting :)

January 9th, 2011, 12:56 AM
:D:D That just cracks me up! :D

I am most of the time of average intelligence...:writer:

Gotta try the zero point one to work one of these days.

January 9th, 2011, 02:03 AM
The theoretical zero point kills me :lol: Apparently I'm avererage or above, because high ponytails kill my head... even if I rarely wear ponytails at all :p

January 9th, 2011, 03:08 AM
It's mean but true. :D

January 9th, 2011, 04:27 AM
What a funny, unscientific theory! It would be a thing of "zero point" intelligence to really believe it and judge people based on where their pony tail is though:p. Zero Point looks hillarious! "Retarded" must be reserved for people hopelessly stuck in the 80's with fashion sense. I usually wear my ponytail at "average." "Below average" looks really pretty but it's painful! "Above Average" gives me nape tangles so hellacious that I would think that it was the "zero point."

January 9th, 2011, 07:10 AM
lol, I'm below average or average then ;)

January 9th, 2011, 08:24 AM
LolL intersting xx

January 9th, 2011, 08:34 AM
Well I wore an above average ponytail to school most days and got stellar grades, so I feel inclined to agree!

January 9th, 2011, 08:41 AM
I strongly take offense with the label "retarded". That is uncalled for and a slur against people who cannot help their disabilities.

January 9th, 2011, 08:42 AM
Lady Gaga must have a fluctuating intelligence quotient, then...

January 9th, 2011, 08:45 AM
The phrase "Angle of Attack" hit a nerve I can't stop giggling.

I happen to think I'm pretty smart, but my stars how I love a Below Average ponytail!! Tightens up the wrinkly stuff around my eyes and makes 5 hours of sleep look like 8.

January 9th, 2011, 09:06 AM
LOL!!! That is too funny!!
Good thing is that I mostly wear my hair in a chignon.
The funny part is that when I go to sleep I sametimes put my hair in the zero point to get my volume by morning :p

January 9th, 2011, 09:52 AM
I live in an area with a lot of college girls. Many of them wear their hair at "below average" when they jog/run. I swear they bounce higher than move forward. I can run behind them because I hear nothing but stupid stories of how drunk they were the night before and perfectly reasonable stuff they don't understand. Some of the most insane and insanely stupid girls I've talked to wear "retarded" level ponytails. Funny coincidence, it's very common for girls around here to wear their hair in a messy bun at retarded level at the beach or the spa (I used to do massage in one). I trained with a girl who wore her long ponytail at retarded level for working out. She was a biochem major but it was all for show. She was an idiot and my friend had to tutor her because she was so slow and irresponsible with the little studying she did do.

January 9th, 2011, 09:56 AM
Made me lol :D There is truth to it xD

January 9th, 2011, 10:05 AM
Wow, this doesn't appeal to my sense of humor at all. Sorry. I prefer high ponies because otherwise my nape hairs get ridiculously tangled. It has nothing to do with my intelligence. It's just hair. :rolleyes:

January 9th, 2011, 10:20 AM
Hehe, that was quite silly but I laughed anyway.

The retarded one made me think of Vicky from Little Britain:

January 9th, 2011, 10:27 AM
imagen having a bun at zero point ..
awesome. i might try it for a new look
I wear it in shower :D I am not mighty intelligent in showers, that true! :lol:

January 9th, 2011, 10:29 AM
Hahaha, funny!
Made me think of Greys anathomy. When Meredith meets Dereks mother for the first time, she is so nervous that she lets Izzie style her hair in a high ponytale in a colorfull scrunchy.

January 9th, 2011, 10:58 AM
I most often wear my hair between average and above average. But sometimes I wear it at the below average angle. I should be more careful!

January 9th, 2011, 06:52 PM
My sister has waist length hair and weaars a sloppy bun at retarded angle. She has also developed a bald spot on her head from constantly ripping out the tangles.
I tried to get her to use a detangler and wide tooth comb when I visited recently but 'My hair is so, like tangly only using my brush hard will work, so whatever'.

I wish I was exagerating :/

January 9th, 2011, 07:13 PM
I found this funny. However, I agree with Madora about the slur.

January 9th, 2011, 08:07 PM
Ditto Madora. The word is just unnecessary.

January 9th, 2011, 08:37 PM
If they had come up with something a bit more clever and less offensive than "retarded" to describe the second picture, I think it would have been funnier to me. :shrug: That said, I have plenty of anecdotal evidence to back this theory up.

January 9th, 2011, 09:02 PM
I wear average to work, and above average to present. Why, because I feel smarter with the lower pony. Not appropriate term being used, but alas, the rest is too true.

January 9th, 2011, 10:48 PM
I can see why people would get offended over the use of "retard", but then again it's used in a slang sense for "idiot/moron", so derogatory yes, discriminating not so sure. And surely "theoretical zero point" is worse? :confused:

http://www.helium.com/items/697668-is-the-slang-use-of-the-word-retard-or-retarded-discriminatory this is a link to an internet poll showing that I am in a minority though.

Back on topic - any one have an opinion on side ponytails? Where would they fit in? How about the further off-centre the more creative, until you get right to the front again where you're in crazy territory?

January 9th, 2011, 11:50 PM
A friend used to have a similar theory, but with ponytail height corresponding to how um... motivated the female was towards finding a man might bet the best way to put it... so low ponytail was a prude, high ponytail would be the opposite. I kinda like the theory, and have to admit that if I'm out and looking for men my ponytail does often fly higher than if I'm hanging around reading a book.

January 10th, 2011, 11:29 AM
Mmmmh, when I was small the only position I could tolerate having a ponytail was between retarded and below average. The feeling of the ponytail slowly sliding downhill would drive me nuts otherwise, I had long thik hair and gravity is a force to recon with.
Haven't worn ponytails since I was 12, except in sweltering hot summers (and yes, below average it is).
But I have a PhD so I must have improved slightly in the meantime,

January 10th, 2011, 11:57 AM
At my school there's a lot of girls who wear a very messy bun (aka rat nest of knots and tangled) right on the top of their head. I don't understand that look.

I rarely wear ponytails because they kill my head, but when I could wear them it was usually at the average intelligence level. Too high and it would hurt, too low and my nape hairs would pull.

January 10th, 2011, 12:00 PM
LOL AWESOME. I do all of them... except for the zero point one. ^_^

I do sort of agree with the theory. ;) Most of the girls in my high school or college who seemed retarded wore their hair like that picture.

January 10th, 2011, 01:10 PM
Totally just posted this on facebook! LOL love it!!

January 10th, 2011, 01:34 PM
this is hilarious. btw I'm retarded when I sleep :silly:

January 10th, 2011, 01:53 PM
I change my ponytail between above average and average. My bun goes at average, below average if I can manage it.

I would really love to try the zero point ponytail though.

January 10th, 2011, 01:55 PM
Two words..

"Essex Facelift"

January 10th, 2011, 02:49 PM
hehe, love it

I'm average or above average, depends on mood :)

However how about braids?
I like mine at the above average point.
But if I go out then it's at the below average point....hum....:p