How to benign neglect?

[lovege]

^^ I don't think the title is correct grammar.:(

But anyway, I cannot stop touching, smoothing, brushing, and braiding/ rebraiding my hair! Combing/ brushing it too much has started to break it off. There's also a hard time being really gentle with it, when I braid it, I always accidently rip some hair out:rolleyes:. Any advice? :confused::confused:

[JuneBride]

Throw your brush in the trash can. Comb your hair with a wide tooth seamless comb. Have healthy hair. Read more LHC. Smile.

[redcelticcurls]

As a 3C, have you tried protective styling? You could do braids or flat twists or two strand twists and leave them in so you wouldn't be able to manipulate your hair as much.

Also, can you tell us what type of cleansing/conditioning/styling products you use? Curly hair can be finicky with ingredients and is prone to dryness and the accompanying breakage.

[lovege]

Thanks JuneBride, that made me smile :D

redcelticcurls, as for products, I just use this cream: http://www.target.com/KeraCare-Conditioning-Creme-Hairdress-4-0/dp/B001JI6BCS and also olive oil for the ends. Shampoo, mizani.

My goal is to use natural products, but I bought any yet.

[ravenreed]

I brush my hair a lot or it tangles. Benign neglect doesn't work for every hair type. Also, when I braid my hair, I don't rip hairs out, but I do have to pull out the loose ones that are just shed hairs that haven't fallen out yet. Are you sure you are ripping yours out? Try not braiding so tightly.

[christine1989]

I brush my hair a lot or it tangles. Benign neglect doesn't work for every hair type. Also, when I braid my hair, I don't rip hairs out, but I do have to pull out the loose ones that are just shed hairs that haven't fallen out yet. Are you sure you are ripping yours out? Try not braiding so tightly.

Agreed! It sure dosen't agree with my hair! My neglect, although well intentioned always turns out to be malignant neglect :). My best advice would be to brush/comb whenever needed (even if it is often) then try to put it up and forget it for most of the day.

[virgo75]

^^ I don't think the title is correct grammar.:(

But anyway, I cannot stop touching, smoothing, brushing, and braiding/ rebraiding my hair! Combing/ brushing it too much has started to break it off. There's also a hard time being really gentle with it, when I braid it, I always accidently rip some hair out:rolleyes:. Any advice? :confused::confused:


Oh gosh, I do the same things. :o

I also wash my hair almost daily and have a habit of styling and restyling my hair until it's dry- I hate the feeling of wet hair so I separate it repeatedly so that the wet parts will get dry faster.

So far the ways that I'm working on it are:
1)skip shampoo some days and just use conditioner. I can't CO wash cuz my scalp goes crazy with it >_< , but I can rinse with water and condition the length.

2)put it up into a secure up do with something more complicated than ouchless rubberbands & scrunchis. I leave my hair alone more if it's up with a stick hairpiece like this:
http://www.luciasimports.com/images/uploads/new/stick%20barrette1.jpg
(except mine isn't nearly as pretty). That way I actually have to look in a mirror which I'm usually too busy or lazy to do.lol

3)When I feel the urge to do something drastic or just want to do something with it 'period', then I'll use that time to deep condition. That way I get to play with it and it gets the good stuff and we're both happy. :D

Hope that helps and I'm looking forward to reading others' suggestions too. :)

[McFearless]

3c's should not be using brushes. Throw that thing out! Use a wide tooth comb, comb from your ends up and when soaked in conditioner. Wear pretty updos so you won't want to pick at your hair, cover it with a scarf or beenie. I wear slouchy hats to avoid touching my hair.

[redcelticcurls]

3c's should not be using brushes. Throw that thing out! Use a wide tooth comb, comb from your ends up and when soaked in conditioner. Wear pretty updos so you won't want to pick at your hair, cover it with a scarf or beenie. I wear slouchy hats to avoid touching my hair.

Well, I'd make an exception for some Denmans for detangling and product distribution. But, yes, in general 3Cs and the brush, especially on dry hair, isn't a good combo.

[dawnandxavier]

Well, I'd make an exception for some Denmans for detangling and product distribution. But, yes, in general 3Cs and the brush, especially on dry hair, isn't a good combo.

I wondered about this too. Should curlies be using a boar brush to oil their hair, or jsut a comb or fingers

[McFearless]

Well, I'd make an exception for some Denmans for detangling and product distribution. But, yes, in general 3Cs and the brush, especially on dry hair, isn't a good combo.

Do you use a denman? I'm generally scared of brushes lol

[redcelticcurls]

I wondered about this too. Should curlies be using a boar brush to oil their hair, or jsut a comb or fingers

I can't let a BBB near me or poofball and breakage ensues.

I also don't oil my dry hair because it just isn't something that works for me. I do like oil sealing over my leave-in conditioner, and I use my hands and a Denman brush for this.

[redcelticcurls]

Do you use a denman? I'm generally scared of brushes lol

Only on wet hair, lol. I learned about it on the 4 boards at naturallycurly. I do like to use it after I detangle (which I do with a wide tooth comb) to better distribute conditioner. I also use it when applying a leave-in and stylers as I tend to get better application that way. I have to scrunch the curl pattern back in after that, but it hasn't been a damaging brush for me when used that way. And, sometimes, I just want the feeling of a brush on my scalp, though I have to save this for in the shower.

That being said, some curlies do get breakage from a Denman. It isn't good for all, but it does seem to be better tolerated that many other types of brushes.

[Vani1902]

I also have that problem. I have the habit of wanting to pass my fingers through my curls and messing with it. I just put my hair up in a gentle bun, or french twist. I do it in the morning and leave it til night. You just have to discipline yourself not to touch your hair. I also agree with getting rid of your brush. I only comb my hair when it is wet and with a lot of conditioner. Combing dry hair is torture for it. Scarves and beanies also help when I am at home. A lot of it is just discipline.

[McFearless]

Only on wet hair, lol. I learned about it on the 4 boards at naturallycurly. I do like to use it after I detangle (which I do with a wide tooth comb) to better distribute conditioner. I also use it when applying a leave-in and stylers as I tend to get better application that way. I have to scrunch the curl pattern back in after that, but it hasn't been a damaging brush for me when used that way. And, sometimes, I just want the feeling of a brush on my scalp, though I have to save this for in the shower.

That being said, some curlies do get breakage from a Denman. It isn't good for all, but it does seem to be better tolerated that many other types of brushes.

Thanks for the info. Its worth checking out I think. Sometimes a comb just doesn't give that sleek look you get with a brush.

[sanfen]

My benign neglect happened over the past year. I got a haircut in Dec '09. I usually get my hair cut about every 6 months or so. I am not one to fret about my hair but I wash it and condition it and make sure it looks decent.

This past May, we had an unexpected death in our family that turned my world around. The last thing I thought of for many months was my hair. Summer came and went with my hair in a pony tail most of the time. Fall came and I thought about getting a haircut but just kept putting it off and then about 6 weeks ago I decided I liked my hair long (I've had it long several times in my life) and decided to let it grow. So basically, the awkward stage came and went with me hardly noticing it.

I do not wish anyone to go through what I did this year however - I will say that it may be a good idea to get involved in things that consume you to the point that you hardly think about your hair. Get obsessive about exercising! :p That will get your circulation going and more oxygen delivered to your scalp and that will help, for sure! :) Or cooking or cleaning or sewing or a new career or whatever. Just don't neglect your hair. Wash it, condition it and move on.

That's my 2 cents. Hope it helps. ;)

[tinti]

'd say throw your hair in the trash can, keep it up in a bun or a twist or in a braid, and when you have the urge to touch it try to stop yourself as soon as possible. Or you could set yourself goals like "I'm not going to play/touch etc my hair for *insert time here*". It would've been a great idea for me anyway :)

[spidermom]

3C hair = NO BRUSHING, as others have already said.

Get a high quality comb and put your hair up as much as possible. The less manipulation, the less wear and tear on your hair. Definitely give yourself some time to comb your hair and experiment with styles and enjoy it. But then put your hair up and get on with your life.

[Madora]

Brushes are NOT DETANGLERS!!!!

Use a wide tooth comb for combing.

Take a small section of hair and detangle by starting at the ends of the hair and slowly working up the strands until you reach the roots.

Detangle the hair FIRST before brushing.

Use a pure boar bristle brush. Synthetics will wreak damage on your hair.

Bend at the waist, and slowly brush from the nape to the ends. Be gentle. Treat your hair like fine lace.

Too much benign neglect is not a good thing. Hair should be brushed and combed daily. Brushing removes dead hair cells, distributes the natural sebum in your hair, exercises the hair roots and imparts shine and softness.

Remove damaged ends by trimming. Hair will continue to split if you don't trim the split ends.

[redcelticcurls]

Brushes are NOT DETANGLERS!!!!

Use a wide tooth comb for combing.

Take a small section of hair and detangle by starting at the ends of the hair and slowly working up the strands until you reach the roots.

Detangle the hair FIRST before brushing.

Use a pure boar bristle brush. Synthetics will wreak damage on your hair.

Bend at the waist, and slowly brush from the nape to the ends. Be gentle. Treat your hair like fine lace.

Too much benign neglect is not a good thing. Hair should be brushed and combed daily. Brushing removes dead hair cells, distributes the natural sebum in your hair, exercises the hair roots and imparts shine and softness.

Remove damaged ends by trimming. Hair will continue to split if you don't trim the split ends.

She's a 3c. A boar bristle brush tends not to get along well with that curl pattern, nor does dry brushing.

[Madora]

I understand the curly hair problem. She can still brush a little..slowly, and benefit from the benefits of a boar bristle brush.

Curlies just have to be extra careful when brushing and combing...no matter what kind of brush or comb they use.

I saw very curly hair brushed at the George Michael Salon in NYC. It was very short (shoulder length) but it was definitely do-able when done slowly and gently.

[lovege]

I only use the brush to smooth an updo, otherwise I use a wide tooth comb.

But thanks for the advice about forgetting about hair everyone. :cheese:

[prosperina]

Trying a (modified) version of the curly girl techinique helped me stop touching my hair. After going through the trouble to do what was suggested I just didn't want to touch my hair because I wanted as much wave/curl as possible.

Also, just discipline yourself. Even at work, sitting at the desk by myself I wanted to redo my updo when there was no need. Make yourself keep it up all day.

[pepperminttea]

Put down the brush - all that will give you is a lot of frizz and frustration.
Generally, I take benign neglect to mean; put it up every morning, and forget about it. After a few months of wearing it up, checking the length can be quite a nice surprise.

As you're a 3C: Have you tried the Curly Girl (http://www.amazon.com/Curly-Girl-Handbook-Lorraine-Massey/dp/076115678X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294134960&sr=8-1) method? Or the Tightly Curly (http://www.tightlycurly.com/) method? :flower:

[CurlySoleil]

I have an issue with hand-in-hair syndrome as well. My problem is that my hair is only shoulder length and I have a limited selection of protective styles that I can do and that look good. Twists are a good protective style, but depending on the size they can take a long time to do. More time than I like to spend in one sitting on my hair! I've been bunning for the past few days using a doughnut to make it more presentable. Like a lot of ladies have said so far, I would say try doing more up-dos. I'm sure at your length you can definitely find some really pretty styles!

Good luck!