View Full Version : My love/hate relationship with my hair

December 24th, 2010, 03:12 AM
My hair is by no means virgin hair. Its been through a lot of heat damage and chemical damage. I've been growing it for a while without touching it at all with heat or dyes but my roots are only a few inches in.
My hair could be in worse shape but its not perfect. Sometimes, I love it. Sometimes its smooth and long and naturally straight without me doing much. Sometimes I love my hair.

But sometimes it feels dry and brittle. It becomes frizzy and very wavy, and under some lights, it looks SUPER red and fake next to my dark brown roots. At this times I feel like shopping it all of into a pixie cut and starting over.

But I never do because of those moments where I actually do love it. I'm scared one day I will have the nerve to cut it all off. Actually, maybe I'm not scared of short hair? Maybe I secretly want to do it and I'm scared of change.

I guess this is just a rant. Does anyone else feel this way? What do you do, are you patient or impulsive?

December 24th, 2010, 07:38 AM
I think at one time or another, many of us here have had days where we've wondered what if I cut it, or why isn't it behaving like it should?

Frustration city. Damn annoying.

If you're concerned about damaged ends, perhaps a small trim would help.

Apart from the actual growing process, I think the hardest thing is having patience and waiting for things to sort themselves out.

December 24th, 2010, 09:06 PM
A lot of us feel the same way as you which is why the 2 week rule was enacted. If you feel like doing anything drastic to your hair, just wait 2 weeks and if you feel the same, then go ahead!

December 24th, 2010, 09:41 PM
I have had this feelings in the past. I would not cut because it's easier (in my case) to deal with dyed hair using a correction color, or with dry hair by clarifying and doing moisture treatments (build ups feel like you describe on me). Wavy hair can look beautiful when well treated, specially at longer lengths than SL. Hair doesn't need to be virgin or straight to be beautiful. There are threads around for both dyed and wavy hair.

I dye my hair and used to get those red at strange lights, turns out the color was too dark for me, faded into a red shine, perhaps you might like something with a copper hue to it, like 6.4. Or maybe you would like henna. :)

Let us know what you decide to do.

December 24th, 2010, 10:14 PM
I feel the same way. Why not just chop it off and start fresh? But growing hair is a long process and it can look awful for people with curly hair like mine. So I'm waiting it out with gentle care and small trims along the way. This forum is full of people who went from damaged hair to long healthy hair. We can all get there :)

December 25th, 2010, 12:04 AM
My hair behaved tonight with some help from moroccan oil. But I'm sure once tomorrow morning comes and i look at my hair in the mirror, full of tangles and frizziness, I'll remember why i hate it.

Its a never-ending circle!

December 25th, 2010, 12:29 AM
I still am very impatient with my hair, but i'm better than i was. Going from shoulder to BSL took forever for me (2 yrs) because my hair was dyed and damaged so much. also i had short layers cut in there.

Since my hair hit BSL a month or two ago..i'm learning to be more patient. i'm about 4 inches from my goal. i might go longer after that, but for right now, i'm just focusing on getting that 4 more inches!

December 25th, 2010, 12:36 AM
We all have those days no matter how "perfect" a person's hair is. I definatly feel like chopping off my faded ends once in a while because I can't stand that they are a different color than the roots. I know if I did it though they would just end up getting faded again :rolleyes:. I guess having long hair means that I may have to put up with faded ends.

December 25th, 2010, 08:15 AM
I know exactly how you feel!
Sometimes I really hate my hair.. the damage, dryness, frizziness, layers, thinness, random different shades of blonde from bad highlighting jobs.. ugh!

But other times I love it. It does cross my mind sometimes that maybe I should cut it all off and start again with virigin hair but I have decided theres no way i'm going to ever have short hair again, especially not pixie-short (which is what id have to do to get rid of all the damage and highlights) so just have to deal with my hairs bad condition. I do love the length that I have finally got again after many years of growing it out, growing out severe bleach damage and lots of layers.

So I try to concentrate on the positive (the length) and try to fix the bad stuff (the damage) as best as I can. As for getting to my ultimate goal, which is hip length, no layers, virigin hair, blunt hemline... well its going to take years to get there.

So try to focus on the positive and be patient. Its the only thing that you can do.. unless of course you decide to cut it off and start again.

December 28th, 2010, 04:43 PM
Oh my I have been here so many times and cut and regretted it! fortunately as I have got older and due to finding LHC, these thoughts of cutting never happen anymore. Nowadays when I feel fed up, I treat my hair to a DC or SMT and once ive rinsed it off im back to liking my hair all over again, having long hair is like being married you dont always get on!

December 28th, 2010, 05:46 PM
Yup. Been through that. When my hair is being stupid and just doesn't feel that soft or manageable then I get annoyed and wish I didn't have long hair. Then there are days when my hair is so soft, silky and shiny and I love it or when I do a pretty updo or I show off my length without it being in complete knots.

So yes, there are some days where I hate my hair and some days I love it.

December 28th, 2010, 06:05 PM
Me too! I change my mind about my hair every hour some days. hate it! love it! on and on it goes

December 28th, 2010, 07:40 PM
I hate my hair right now too. Absolutely hate it. So I have decided to just wear it up for the entire winter so I don't have to look at it. When I take it down in the spring maybe I'll like it again but for now its in a "time out".

December 28th, 2010, 07:53 PM
It has taken me 3 years to grow out a majority of my severely damaged hair. I am now at waist and can say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it is so tempting to chop it off and start over, I have felt that way many times and still do on occasion. I have 6-8 inches of damaged hair left to grow out. Trimming and taking care not to be harsh on my ends has helped tremendously. Also, keeping it up in a ficcare or a hairstick has helped. I have fine/medium hair that tangles and stretches easily, so hair tyes are evil for me.
Just wanted to say that there is hope and no..you're not alone with your love/hate relationship with your hair. Lately I think my hair has been hating me actually. Between choking me in my sleep and getting caught in everything when it is down, I think it is giving me paybacks :D

December 29th, 2010, 07:15 PM
I had one of those moments today in a fitting room trying clothes on. lol. I just wanna chop mine off a lot. But I can't do that! No giving up!

June 9th, 2012, 02:47 PM
I think everyone feels that way sometimes.. You just have to know what works n your hair and use it!! If your hair is healthy, then no matter what it looks like, you can make it look good. And if it's it healthy than just look around here, and soon you' ll be on the fast track to healthdom! XD

June 9th, 2012, 04:16 PM
We've all wondered why our hair acts like it does. Like JoJo said we've been tested by our hair and wanting it to grow faster healthier and better then it will. When we seem let down we have to review our goals and try to get back on track.

heidi w.
June 9th, 2012, 05:23 PM
Believe it or not, there ARE times I have the thought of cutting my hair, but I never do because overall, I love having it this long. The bouts of cutting it off are fairly brief, and never lead to anything except wondering a little bit. Things always turn around after a bit.

My suggestion is to learn a whole lot more about your hair. For example, are you a curly head. The avatar photo to me shows straight hair, but I am not sure what you have in actuality. Wavy or curly hair presents a whole additional layer of understanding, and once you gain the understanding, things will make more sense as to why things are the way they are. I am thinking you lean into the wavy or curly head category based on your description of hair becoming frizzy, for example. Curly hair needs a whole different approach in hair care than straight hair.

When you better understand what you've got, then learning about it will only become beneficial over time.

The day is coming when you'll always love your hair. But keep in mind, even a chick like me has bad hair days, or even an occasional bout of bed head. Stuff happens, and we just get through it the best we can, remain calm and carry on.

I wish you the best,
heidi w.

June 9th, 2012, 05:44 PM
I am currently in hate-my-hair mode now, desperate for it to grow past shoulders and stop flicking out in weird directions. But I do love being a redhead, and am thinking having lovely henna colour will help me love it more.
When my hair was longer it always contrived to look delightful on the morning of a hairdressers appointment, giving me cold feet about having it cut that day.
Hair is contrary, I find.

June 9th, 2012, 05:45 PM
Oh, and Heidi w, your hair is amazing! I didn't realise hair could even grow that long. Wow.

June 9th, 2012, 06:36 PM
When I feel like this, I go to the store and treat myself to a new product. Last week I was feeling the same way so I went to Sally and got a moisturizing shampoo and reconstructor. My hair felt like new again!

Also, since I am still growing out some damage, I wear it up 99% of the time so I forget about it instead of obsessing over it.

Don't cut it!