How do I get to TBL?

[Moonfall]

Hello my fellow hairlovers,
I know I don't say a lot on this forum, but I do read a lot. I must say there are some really handy tips over here, but... my hair probably needs a special treatment or something, because they don't work for me.
My hair is really dry (see picture). I've used oils, hair serums, sprays, mousses, and a lot of different conditioners and shampoos. Now I've come to a point I can accept the dryness of my hair - it just is there, and maybe there's nothing I can do about it. But there is one thing that bothers me. I've been wanting TBL ever since I was little, but I just don't seem to get there. I go to the hairdresser's twice a year - I hate it - and I always end up having MBL again. I've been growing my hair all of my life, so there must be something I'm doing wrong, right? Or could it be that this is my terminal length?
I don't want anyone else to cut my hair, as I really have a hair cut phobia. I don't trust myself either, because I think I'd get really nervous and mess it up.
I hope someone can give me some advice. =)
Shirley

[jesis]

Do you have split ends? It could be that you actually aren't going to the hairstylist enough.

Whenever I get chronic dry hair, I use about 1 TBSP of Honey and 1 TBSP of EVOO, heat it up a bit, and let it sit on my hair for about 30 minutes. It's great, especially if you have curly hair.

[kettle]

Hi Shirely :waving:
My knee-jerk reaction to this is - have you tried CO washing? This combined with finding the right oil for heavy pre-wash oilings (almond oil for me) works for keeping my ends happy. And they are VERY dry and tangly otherwise.

[Moonfall]

Whenever I get chronic dry hair, I use about 1 TBSP of Honey and 1 TBSP of EVOO, heat it up a bit, and let it sit on my hair for about 30 minutes. It's great, especially if you have curly hair.
Thanks, I'll try that today :)


This combined with finding the right oil for heavy pre-wash oilings (almond oil for me) works for keeping my ends happy. And they are VERY dry and tangly otherwise.
Is the right oil different for everyone? Almond oil doesn't seem to work for my hair...

[Nini]

I got to TB and then some by always containing my hair, either in a braid or by bunning it.

That's the main thing after I hit a certain point. I don't remember when I started bunning, but I know I did some Alta Vista-searches back in 2003 or so and stumbled upon the LHC.

[Gabriel]

A detailed list of your regular routine and what products you are using will help us help you.

What kind of shampoo do you use? Are you cone free or do you use cones?

Are you using conditioner regularly?

Is the water hard where you live?

Does your hair need a "reset" (clarifying wash) to help diagnose it better?

Is there previous damage, either chemical or mechanical?

Can you tell if your ends are broken, fraying, just thin and fragile or something else? Why do you get so much growth cut off?

Have you tried various ways of adding moisture to your hair and encouraging it to stay there?

Is your hairdresser listening to your wants when you get a haircut and are you speaking the same language? If you are being clear with your hairdresser and specifying the amount of hair you want cut (showing him or her visually) and he or she cuts more than that then it's time to find a new hairdresser. However, you as their client have a responsibility to be clear and concise with your hairdresser, because being vague and assuming he or she knows exactly what you mean is not fair to him/her and in the end it's not fair to you either.

[hairobsessed1]

Like yourself I have very dry hair, I love experimenting with different hair treatments and ALWAYS use shampoos and conditioners that add moisture.
The things i have found that really moisturise is coconut oil, shea butter and 'Ancient Formulae Amla Herbal Indian Hair Oil' so i would advise you to give them a try if you havent done so.
Also look into protein- both diet and to put on the hair.
Try a apple cider rinse to get rid of any build up on your hair that's preventing the moisture from getting into the hair.
Make sure you know the difference between carrier oils and essential oils. I love using some oils for treatments, but i find oils are best when you use them after adding moisture as they help to lock the moisture in.
hope this helps and good luck with the growing

[IcarusBride]

Shirley, I wish you good luck! Everyone has different things that work for them, here are the things that help me.

Before LHC, I have always grown my hair to BSL, chop back to APL, grow back to BSL, chop back to APL, every year for my whole life. As soon as my hair got to ~BSL the ends were thin, dry, and generally ratty-feeling. Back then I just shampooed and conditioned my hair with whatever pharmacy brand shampoo and conditioner my parents bought. I never blow dried, flat ironed or curled my hair, and I ocassionaly used moose(sp?) and hair spray, but not very often. I also thought that my hair could not not healthily grow beyond upper-mid-back.

Now, after almost a year at LHC, I've gotten to waist while maintaining ends that feel like hair, not steel wool! Yay! My routine now is mostly Water Only. If my hair gets dirty (when my little sister got paint in my hair, when I was walking down the street and a car kicked up mud all over me, etc) I will wash with diluted SLS shampoo. I have used cassia several times and it seems to help a lot, however it takes soooo much time to make, to apply, to wait while it works, and to wash out... I don't do it very often anymore. I also do S&D occasionally. My splits are usually not too bad, but it makes me feel better to go through occasionally and cut off splits and white dots. Also, and this is true for me personally but not for a lot of other people, I need to trim regularly. My hair is very thin/fine and sheds at a very high rate, so I need to keep up with regular micro-trims or it starts to look really bad. So, I've been gaining length more slowly than I potentially could, but I'm happy(er) with the condition of my ends, and I don't feel tempted to give up and chop! My 'miracle product' is Coconut Oil. I can not reiterate enough how much I owe to coconut oil! It absolutely saved my hair. Every time I do bad things to my hair (swimming in the ocean, swimming in the chlorinated pool, experimenting with products that totally fail, etc) Coconut Oil saves me.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

1) How much does the hairdresser cut off every time? it's very likely they're cutting more length than you grow.

2) do you heat-style?

3) is your hair coarse? if it is, it will always look and feel damaged and dry until you just accept your fate. I know because my hair's never smooth and silky, even when i flatiron it. Nothing makes my hair soft.

[maus]

I suggest to look into the amount your hairdresser cuts, and possible trying self-trims. When I gave up on hairdressers, my hair started growing again (magic, I know :cool: ) - they just always cut off too much hair, basically all the hair I have grown the last half year. Now I am doing microtrims every 3 months or so, and my hair is happy. Together with the other tips (honey/SMT treatments, keeping your hair up and protected,...), I am thinking you should be getting there really soon. Good luck and happy growing!:poot:

[Dolly]

I thought the same thing when I came here....come to find out, my hair really ISN'T that dry.....the reason my hair felt that way is because I was not clarifying. You may have some major buildup. Do that first. Then maybe do some deep moisture treatments and oil soaks. BUT CLARIFY FIRST, if you haven't already done so!

Also start being very honest with your hairdresser. Take a ruler with you, seriously! Tell them how much you want cut off (NO MORE), and make sure they SHOW you how much they cut.

Good luck!!

[PrincessTieflin]

Im not any where close to where you want to be but what I learned cutting hair, and here is that :

Take a measuring tape.. Be firm. Dont let them turn you around (with your back to the mirror) what I tell folk who cut my hair is "I want so little cut off I dont even want there to be hair on the floor"

[little_cherry]

I agree with this 100% Clarify before you try anything. With all the oils and serums you've been using, they most probably built up on your hair, making it appear dry when in fact it's all the build up.

Clarify with a good clarifying shampoo and follow it with a deep moisture treatment like the SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128).

I thought the same thing when I came here....come to find out, my hair really ISN'T that dry.....the reason my hair felt that way is because I was not clarifying. You may have some major buildup. Do that first. Then maybe do some deep moisture treatments and oil soaks. BUT CLARIFY FIRST, if you haven't already done so!

Also start being very honest with your hairdresser. Take a ruler with you, seriously! Tell them how much you want cut off (NO MORE), and make sure they SHOW you how much they cut.

Good luck!!

[spidermom]

I'm with Dolly. I've been having fits with dry, snarly ends for weeks but didn't remember to clarify until I'd washed it, and it looked as oily after the wash as before. Then I washed it twice with a clarifying shampoo, working the suds all the way through the ends and :magic: silky, shiny hair again.

I've finally reached my life-time dream of classic length (bottom of bottom/top of thighs) and I credit pre-wash coconut oilings (an hour to the day before) and CWC with diluted shampoo to scalp only, with clarifying about every 3-4 months. Silicone products build up and so do oil residues; only a good clarifying can remove them. Oh! and wearing my hair bunned when I don't have time to watch out for it.

[Roscata]

I completely agree with coconut oil, especially as a pre-wash treatment and a post wash moisture seal-in on damp hair.
After you have clarified, I'd suggest maybe trying to use SLS-free shampoos as the SLS (https://morroccomethod.com/en/educational-resources/cancer-a-chemical-toxicity/175-your-shampoo-may-be-hazardous-to-your-health) shampoos might be too drying for your hair, a mild shampoo could help.
Like others said giving up cones might help.
You also might want to consider CO washing.
You'll have to test these things out yourself and see what's best for you.
Here are some articles I recommend for you to read:
Double CO wash method (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=70)
Protein Disaster & Recovery Center (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=17)
To Cone or Not to Cone (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=13)
Keeping Split Ends At Bay: Secrets of Gently Handling Your Hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=8)

Sulfate/Sulphate-Free Shampoo List (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=34009)

[Delila]

As others have already said, it's important to figure out which moisturizing elements work with your hair, and which don't.

My hair responds well to shea butter, but since my scalp is naturally oily, I always go easy. Others I've tried that my hair seems to like reasonably well: Emu Oil and jojoba. I haven't yet tried camellia oil, but only because my order hasn't arrived yet.

As for reaching a particular length, have you actually kept track of your growth rate? of how much (exactly) the stylist trims off? Both things may well help you figure out how to gain more length. (some people have a slower growth rate than they realize. Not thrilling news, but knowing it helps them avoid excess trims.)

In my experience, I gained a LOT more length once I started trimming myself. As the years have gone on, I've gradually reduced the number of trims in a year, and the amount I trim.

If you aren't yet keeping some kind of journal to track your experiences using products and routines, I think it's a good idea to begin. It can also be a good way to track possible buildup and clarifying routines.

I figured out which products (and product types) worked best for me by keeping track of the products I used, the techniques I used, how my hair dried, how it felt once dry, how it wore across the day, etc. I realized that a lot of products I enjoyed really weren't doing that much for my hair, and were sometimes causing issues like stickiness or tangles.

[GeeLove]

the people here are so wonderful and knowledgeable. I hope they can come up with something to help you reach your goal. Best of luck to you in your journey.

[kettle]

Is the right oil different for everyone? Almond oil doesn't seem to work for my hair...

I know some oils work better for me than others - like you say, almond oil doesn't work well for you, whereas coconut oil isn't so great for me (on dry hair at least), and others love it. I think it's a case of experimenting and seeing which oils work best for your hair :)

And while I'm here and typing, I'll second clairfying before trying anything else. Only because this was also key for me.

Also, in the most basic sense, I guess the only way to get to tailbone is to not cut! This also likely means minimising damage by keeping it up most of the time. I'll second the self-trimming, too, when you do need to trim. At least you then have control over how much length you lose, and therefore how quickly you get to your goal. Again, this is what worked for me!

Good luck :flower: