Am I Too Old For Long, Silvery Hair?

[luluj]

So, this is my experience.............


My husband and I are in Florida for the winter, we come here every winter to the same RV Resort, have done so for the past six years. We have many friends here and each season we all look forward to seeing each other again. This year has been a real eye-opener for me. My hair is quite a bit longer due to a wonderful growth spurt in the last six months. I have a substantial amount of silver mixed in with my natural shades, yes shades, although the silver is quickly taking over! I have been wearing my hair up since we arrived (wrapped hairstick bun of course, lol) Just today I washed it, let it dry naturally and wore it down. Well, let me tell you, the comments have been coming fast and furious. Many have been cautiously positive to downright rude. I went to the laundry room this afternoon only to run into a "friend" who immediately voiced her opinion......"Oh my god, look how long your hair is, how can you stand it, I can't imagine having to deal with that volume of hair every day." Yep, sad but true. I just smiled and said "After the shock and trauma of getting my "down to the wood chop" I decided to let my hair grow long and I love it, you should consider doing the same, you would look far more feminine." I felt completely empowered, it was wonderful! I have come a long way!! YAY ME!! THANKS LHC......I OWE YOU SO MUCH! Just a note, I am not a person who enjoys hurting others with mean words, I don't know what came over me???Was I wrong to respond to a rude comment with another rude comment? Am I too old for long hair??

[Lamb]

I went to the laundry room this afternoon only to run into a "friend" who immediately voiced her opinion......"Oh my god, look how long your hair is, how can you stand it, I can't imagine having to deal with that volume of hair every day."

Maybe I'm not reading this the right way, but I don't think it is so rude. :shrug: She said two things about your hair: it's long, and it has a lot of volume (it's thick). Many people truly can't imagine dealing with that much hair - she, by her own admission, is one of them apparently.
She didn't say anything about how it doesn't suit you, did she? Just that she, personally, couldn't wear her hair that way. Perhaps not a compliment, but hardly a rude remark.

[girlcat36]

Your hair is gorgeous, and the length sets you apart from other 'silver hairs'. DO NOT let this deter you!
Yay you!

[estherbeth]

Absolutely not! There is no such thing as 'too old' for long hair. And long, silver (or white, or gray) hair is gorgeous. I don't understand the trend of chopping all one's hair off at a certain age.

[enfys]

Maybe I'm not reading this the right way, but I don't think it is so rude. :shrug: She said two things about your hair: it's long, and it has a lot of volume (it's thick). Many people truly can't imagine dealing with that much hair - she, by her own admission, is one of them apparently.
She didn't say anything about how it doesn't suit you, did she? Just that she, personally, couldn't wear her hair that way. Perhaps not a compliment, but hardly a rude remark.

I'm afraid I thought the same thing. Of course, you know the tone/facial expression and whatnot.

I've had a lot of people say they couldn't cope with hair as long as mine and I just took that to come from ignorance of how blissfully ignorant they are of how easy it can be to "cope with", not rudeness.

[luluj]

Maybe I'm not reading this the right way, but I don't think it is so rude. :shrug: She said two things about your hair: it's long, and it has a lot of volume (it's thick). Many people truly can't imagine dealing with that much hair - she, by her own admission, is one of them apparently.
She didn't say anything about how it doesn't suit you, did she? Just that she, personally, couldn't wear her hair that way. Perhaps not a compliment, but hardly a rude remark.

This is quite true, Lamb. I think it was the tone of the remark that got to me though, it was not so nice.:(

[enfys]

This is quite true, Lamb. I think it was the tone of the remark that got to me though, it was not so nice.:(

Well in that case :grouphug:

You seem quite certain that you aren't too old for long silvery hair, and as long as that's the case, it's true. Keep on loving it and it will shine through.

[punky]

So, this is my experience.............


My husband and I are in Florida for the winter, we come here every winter to the same RV Resort, have done so for the past six years. We have many friends here and each season we all look forward to seeing each other again. This year has been a real eye-opener for me. My hair is quite a bit longer due to a wonderful growth spurt in the last six months. I have a substantial amount of silver mixed in with my natural shades, yes shades, although the silver is quickly taking over! I have been wearing my hair up since we arrived (wrapped hairstick bun of course, lol) Just today I washed it, let it dry naturally and wore it down. Well, let me tell you, the comments have been coming fast and furious. Many have been cautiously positive to downright rude. I went to the laundry room this afternoon only to run into a "friend" who immediately voiced her opinion......"Oh my god, look how long your hair is, how can you stand it, I can't imagine having to deal with that volume of hair every day." Yep, sad but true. I just smiled and said "After the shock and trauma of getting my "down to the wood chop" I decided to let my hair grow long and I love it, you should consider doing the same, you would look far more feminine." I felt completely empowered, it was wonderful! I have come a long way!! YAY ME!! THANKS LHC......I OWE YOU SO MUCH!:happydance::cheer::joy: Just a note, I am not a person who enjoys hurting others with mean words, I don't know what came over me???:confused: Was I wrong to respond to a rude comment with another rude comment? Am I too old for long hair??

You were not rude at all. She was just jealous. If anyone ever ask why you wear your hair long and silvery just say "because I can" You are not to old for long hair:)

[luluj]

Well in that case :grouphug:

You seem quite certain that you aren't too old for long silvery hair, and as long as that's the case, it's true. Keep on loving it and it will shine through.

Thanks, enfys. I so want to have long hair and I don't want to dye it anymore, it is a losing battle, the silvers are very persistent:p I have had to deal with many nay sayers since making the decision to grow my hair long, let alone letting it go silver. I am trying to stay strong and focused and not let negative comments get to me. :rolleyes: Lately there have been more negative responses than positive, so here I am second guessing my decision yet again. TLHC has come to my rescue many times, thankfully.

[spidermom]

Nope - never too old. Don't cave in to social pressure. Let 'em suffer!

I try to rise above it and avoid replying to rude remarks with more rude remarks. It has to stop somewhere; it might as well stop with me. I prefer humor, as in "I'll cut one hair. Which one do you hate the most?"

[Demetrue]

When I had longer hair a few summers ago, I was visiting my mom and she said "Oh, how can you stand having such long hair - it must feel so hot and heavy, I feel hot just looking at you. I couldn't bare havint hair like that!" I was pretty hurt. Forward by the end of our visit - I had just undone my hair from braids and brushed out the waves with a boar bristle brush so that it was gleaming. Mom says, "Oh, your hair looks gorgeous like that!" Same person, different day. I hadn't changed. Fast forward several years later - my mom calls to tell me, she is so excited that she is growing her hair long - she missed several hair dresser appointments and realized she likes her hair longer than how she had been wearing it the last few years. Moral of the story - people just say whatever they are feeling at the time - these feelings are subject to change and vast fluctuations. You do not have to change your appearance to suit their particular moods.

[einna]

I think long silvery hair is very beautiful, and special in a good way. I also think your comment was well justified, and not too rude, just enough to stand up for yourself.

[spoonshine]

For every mean spirited comment you get there are probably a number of people secretly admiring and envying you pretty, long silvers. Growing up in my area, the grey haired women all had the same very short permed hair style. I found it tedious, so whenever I did happen to see a longer silver head it made me happy. :)

[TinaDenali]

You're most definitely not too old. I just looked through your albums and I'll say those ladies are super JEALOUS!!! You look amazing!!

[luluj]

Nope - never too old. Don't cave in to social pressure. Let 'em suffer!

I try to rise above it and avoid replying to rude remarks with more rude remarks. It has to stop somewhere; it might as well stop with me. I prefer humor, as in "I'll cut one hair. Which one do you hate the most?"

I agree, rudeness is not the way to deal with negative comments. First of all, it's not my nature to be mean, the words just fell out of my mouth, yet somehow it made me feel stronger to finally stand up for myself. Normally I just feel very bad about myself and start googling short hairstyles.:shake:

[terrylillyd]

If you are able to grow your hair beautifully (and you do) and having it long makes you feel good, then you go with your long hair!

[spidermom]

Sometimes I'm provoked enough to be rude, too. It happens.

[etihwtibbar]

I always found it strange that a large pecentage of women chop off the entirety of their hair when they start going significantly gray. My friends and I, both male and female, always wonder why women do that, since we all find it unattractive. I've seen women with long silver hair, and they always look healthy and happy with long flowing locks! And yes, it does look lovely and feminine. Some people really hate taking care of a lot of hair, but I think that your response was thoughtful and appropriate given the circumstances.

[Mina17]

I also think people will often criticize to hide the fact that they are envious. I don't blame you for the come-back--sometimes it's the only way to deal with rude people.


I think your hair is lovely, and if it makes you happy that's what matters most. You ladies with long, silvery hair are my role models!

[Aer]

Long hair can be worn at any age, and long silvery hair is just plain beautiful. I would of responded the same and probably much worse, so I think you did not go too far as far severity in reply. Hell, your comment might help her!

[Anje]

You're never old enough for a poodle cut.

[KarpatiiSiv]

I know you've had to listen to many nay sayers since you made your decision to grow your hair long and let your silvers shine.:( Your response wasn't rude and even though you are trying not to let negative comments get to you there comes a time when you just have to stick up for yourself.http://www.smileyshut.com/smileys/new/free-fighting-smileys-128[1].gif (http://www.smileyshut.com/facebook-smileys.html)http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/congratualtions.gif (http://www.millan.net) Never too old for long silvery hair. http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/whitehair.gif (http://www.millan.net)

[rags]

Well, you know what I think lulu! Your hair is gorgeous and you are most certainly NOT too old for long hair! I've been envious of your lovely curls since you joined LHC! (and before that on GGLG).

I'm sorry she made you doubt yourself - your hair is gorgeous and you should wear it how you like! Some people can't handle anything even slightly out of the social norm.

[luluj]

Thanks so much everyone. Sometimes one just needs to unload their frustrations. While it felt good "for the moment" to spit back a rude comment to yet another nay sayer, it certainly doesn't feel good now. I am embarrassed when I read back what I wrote in my original post, most certainly an alien abduction!

[Fairlight63]

I just looked at your hair album & your hair is very beautiful!

[dropinthebucket]

Two of my hair idols:
-one of my medieval lit. profs. back in the 80s who had long, long silver hair - she usually had it up in an updo, and it was so elegant and beautiful!
-the grandmother in George Macdonald's The Princess and the Goblin - she shakes a couple of stars out of her long, silver tresses to give the princess!
Can't wait 'til I can have long silver hair, too! :)
I don't think you can ever be too old for long hair .

[Chibbylick]

You're never old enough for a poodle cut.
This had me laughing till I was in stitches... So true!
The only thing better than long hair is long silver hair.

[luluj]

You're never old enough for a poodle cut.

Thanks for this comment, it made me laugh out loud!:p

[Demetrue]

Two of my hair idols:
-one of my medieval lit. profs. back in the 80s who had long, long silver hair - she usually had it up in an updo, and it was so elegant and beautiful!
-the grandmother in George Macdonald's The Princess and the Goblin - she shakes a couple of stars out of her long, silver tresses to give the princess!
Can't wait 'til I can have long silver hair, too! :)
I don't think you can ever be too old for long hair .

YES!!! I am in the middle of reading The Princess and the Goblin to my youngest son right now!

[Jessica Trapp]

"I'll cut one hair. Which one do you hate the most?"

:D This made me giggle.

[jesis]

She was just jealous of your long gorgeous hair! :D

[luxepiggy]

Nope - never too old. Don't cave in to social pressure. Let 'em suffer!

I try to rise above it and avoid replying to rude remarks with more rude remarks. It has to stop somewhere; it might as well stop with me. I prefer humor, as in "I'll cut one hair. Which one do you hate the most?"



I love that response!!!http://forum.purseblog.com/images/smilies2/lol27.gifhttp://forum.purseblog.com/images/smilies2/lol27.gifhttp://forum.purseblog.com/images/smilies2/lol27.gif

[leslissocool]

You're never old enough for a poodle cut.


HAha so funny!


I think it's the opposite, the older you are the longer your hair should be. My grandmother (she is 66 I think) wore her hair short for 10 year, like poodle short. She colored her hair bright orange too. 10 years!!! I was fighting always against her taking me to a salon (I had long hair pretty much all of my life)...

Well guess what? She now has it at BSL, her natural color, and she looks so much better and so much younger than she looked 10 years ago! (her hair is dark brown like mine, and she has silvers.

I think that, back in the days, women where more into the conventional short hair when it went white because they didn't know how to deal with the textures change. Well, now there is so much information out in the web, but most people on the older side still want don't know how to deal with it and don't research.

You have TLHC! and look at your hair, it's just stunning! I agree with the other women who say that, one bad comment you get, there are at least 5 women admiring your grey beautiful locks!

Yay you!

[Atira]

Not sure how old you are, but I LOVE long hair on older women! So feminine!

[RitaPG]

There is no such thing as too old for long hair. My more-than-80-year-old grandma has a sister... I'm not sure if she's still alive but I remember as a small kid going to visit and watch her comb and braid her beautiful waist length white hair.

Besides, if silver hair meant people should cut it, I'd be doomed by now, and I just recently learned to love my premature silver hair :D
I was looking through your albums, you are beautiful and your hair looks amazing.
Let the jealous be jealous. As long as you feel good about your hair. 'Tis yours afterall :)

[boomtownrat]

Since she's so opposed to having long hair, I suppose it's a good thing for her that SHE doesn't have it! :D

I have always felt it's nobody's place to tell another person what to do with their appearance. Your hair looks wonderful and age is such an arbitrary factor.

[Bonkers57]

In answer to your question, h3ll no! Only when you stop breathing are you too old.

[Demetrue]

Okay - let's break this question down even more:
Q: Am I too old? A: If you're old enough to think that you are old, then you are old enough to decide how long to grow the hair on your head. But, you're not old - old is like 90 - and when you're 90, no one should be bugging you about how long your hair is!

Q: Is it too long? A: Is it dragging along the floor sweeping up dust? No! So it is not too long. And if it were dragging on the floor, you could just put it up with one of your cool hair toys, right?

Q: Is it too silvery? A: As long as it is shining and sparkly, people will be so blinded by its shine that they won't even be able to see the silver, therefore, it can never be too silvery.

There - each question should be answered with a resounding "NO!" I rest my case.

[Dragon]

I don’t think your responds was rude. I looked at your albums and you have beautiful silver hair. Please don’t listen to people who don’t like it. They are probably jealous most of the time. You are never to old for long hair. It’s such a shame that so many cut it off when they get older.

[allmixedup88]

nope & your hair looks amazing!

[mrs_coffee]

Never too old. One of the things that inspired to grow my hair is my friend Sandra who is...I think 56 or 57...anyway she has waist length hair that used to be black but now is all streaked with silver and it's so gorgeous. I love long, silvery/gray hair.


Originally Posted by spidermom

I prefer humor, as in "I'll cut one hair. Which one do you hate the most?"

:laugh: Love that!

[Xandergrammy]

We both know that you're definitely not too old for long silvery hair. Your hair is gorgeous and phooey to the women who think it's too much to "stand" or care for. I don't think your comment was out of line at all. I actually thought it was a pretty good one that I might use myself some day. :gabigrin:

[CastaDiva]

You are NOT too old for long hair, luluj, silvery or not:) Long hair is not just for young people. And it must be just as much work with short hair with styling and curling and all of that. Having long hair doesn`t really have to mean a lot of work. Be proud of your long hair, it looks beautiful:) And I don`t think your comment was rude at all.

[kitschy]

You are my inspiration. I love, love, love your pretty hair!

[restourceful]

Darling luluj, I have always admired your curls, so soft and loose. I have always admired your silvers, so lovely and sparkly. And now I am admiring your amazing length :thud: so shiny and healthy and BEAUTIFUL!!!

So to answer your question, a resounding NO! You are so incredibly gorgeous and I personally think you look much more youthful with longer natural hair.

Your friend may have been having a personal appearance crisis day when she saw your lovely longer locks. Perhaps, if you know her well enough, and you want to talk with her about your remarks to each other, you could let her know how authentic and free having longer silver hair has made you feel. Her opinion of your hair is just that: her opinion. You don't have to give tit-for-tat; but you can tell her about how wonderful your personal journey has been and let her know you support whatever makes her feel beautiful, whether you think it does or not. Because ultimately, if we feel beautiful, we are beautiful!

And sweet, sweet luluj, you have always been one of the kindest people I've "known" here at LHC!

[CrisDee]

When you stop and think that if your body is still capable of growing long hair, then you're obviously not too old for it, it becomes somewhat amazing that our culture has been so successfully and thoroughly indoctrinated by those selling products and services that long hair on older people is somehow now perceived as unnatural. We humans certainly are a strange bunch!

And about your friend - if she's half as envious of your hair as I am, no wonder she made that commment! :flowers:

[spitfire511]

I don't have much to add except to say that I adore your hair!! The shine is amazing and the color is lovely!

[frizzinator]

You know that you are not too old for long hair, but you are old enough to know what you like regardless of what other people say.

On the very rare occasion when my hair is down, nearly everyone has something to say about it. Since they have not seen it down in a long time, some of them put their foot in their mouth because it is an unexpected sight. They speak because that is what humans do.

What other people say belongs to them. What you say belongs to you. That's why my mother always told me to be nice. I never listened to her and I regret it.

I know other people frequently misunderstand what I say, so it seems likely that all humans misunderstand each other and feel slighted by comments which were not intended to be negative.

[Theobroma]

luluj, I've just been to your album and you and your hair are DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS, and anyone who tells you different is either jealous or stone blind, period. From your OP and the follow-up details you gave in subsequent comments, your friend absolutely had it coming, so don't feel bad for one moment about how you answered her!

[KarenSJ]

I have always thought that women who cut their hair short at a certain age wind up looking older, not younger. It's like they're saying, "Ok, I'm old, time to give up on the hair". And it's those shorties that make the comments about long hair that have the most regret about getting their own hair chopped. Why else would they feel the need to impose their opinion? There are way many other things to be opinionated about than hair length, after all. Good for you for standing up and defending your hard-earned locks. Just my two cents...

Karen

[Pixna]

Well, of COURSE you're NOT too old for long, silvery hair!!!!! You look absolutely gorgeous with your soft, luscious curls and your graceful updos!!!!! If your friend's comment had an edge to it, you were certainly justified in your reply. Not only that, but if she felt the "right" or "need" to be totally "honest," then you deserved the same right to express yourself in return. Who knows -- you might have gotten her thinking about letting her hair grow long, too! And, I agree, you look much more feminine with your long hair (compared to how you looked with short hair), so your reply was perfectly forthright.

It's a shame that so many people don't realize how easy and inexpensive it is to care for long hair, and when we wear it up, we never have a bad hair day. I also think that some older women with short hair are envious of those who have longer hair and look fabulous with it. You rock the long silvers, Luluj!!! :redgrin:

[linda g]

Well, I'm glad you didn't start googling short haircuts, luluj! Because your hair is so lovely!

I think that as you become more confident with your beautiful long silvers, you will find a happy medium between self-doubt and "up yours!" ;)

[skaempfer]

Not unless the rest of us are all too old. You telling me I'm too old? :slap:

Seriously, you, kitschy and Xandergrammy are my hair idols. You cut your hair, I'm doomed.
You have beautiful, beautiful hair. People that give you 'chop-it' hints must be jealous.

[SpinDance]

Um, sorry for being a bit confused, but doesn't one have to be at least a little oldish to have silver hair? lol And to have long silver hair, well, that takes a bit of time, too. So to me, being not so young is a basic requirement for having silver hair, long or otherwise. And silver hair is breathtakingly beautiful.

So, here's hoping for everyone who wants it to have long, silver hair in due time!

Oh, and sometimes I think people who have never had longer hair think that the amount of time it takes them to do their hair is multiplied as it gets longer. Totally missing that long hair can be so simple and easy, much less fuss than short.

[breezefaerie]

You have gorgeous hair that I am envious of! Please don't cut :)

[RitaPG]

Um, sorry for being a bit confused, but doesn't one have to be at least a little oldish to have silver hair? lol And to have long silver hair, well, that takes a bit of time, too. So to me, being not so young is a basic requirement for having silver hair, long or otherwise.

Not necessarily. I've had silver strands of hair here and there since I was 17. And keep getting more of them.

[sophiamarie]

Your hair is beautiful! You are never too old!!!

[aenflex]

......"Oh my god, look how long your hair is, how can you stand it, I can't imagine having to deal with that volume of hair every day."

I don't think that phrase is particularly negative or insulting. Slightly ill-planned, yes, but I wouldn't consider it rude if a friend/acquaintance of mine said that to me. Even if a stranger said it, all they would probably get is me turning my head and walking away.
eta - I don't think you are too old or too anything for long hair.

[Superfine]

Your hair is beautiful, Luluj! No chopping necessary. Years ago I grew my 2-1/2" hair to shoulder & my closest "friend" (who had gorgeous APL, thick hair) said it made me look older & dragged my face down. Well, I cut. Sorry I did. It never occured to me to just put it up. Since it has taken me a while to get to BSL I'm not listening to others anymore. Long hair gives me an empowered feeling, also more feminine, calm & in control. Maybe that's a lot to attribute to hair, but it seems to have that effect. I also think your "friend's" comment may stem from a bit of jealousy. Keep growing! Your hair is so wonderfully think & pretty & real! (no all 1 color dye).

[SpinDance]

Not necessarily. I've had silver strands of hair here and there since I was 17. And keep getting more of them.
Sure, my mom found one on my head when I was 11. But to some that's oldish, so... lol And no one is going to say you're too old to have long hair at 11 or 17.

This older = shorter has never made sense to me. How can one have long silver or white hair if you don't let it grow? I want mine to be snow white down to BCL, or longer if I can get it that way (and still like it)!

[RitaPG]

Sure, my mom found one on my head when I was 11. But to some that's oldish, so... lol And no one is going to say you're too old to have long hair at 11 or 17.

This older = shorter has never made sense to me. How can one have long silver or white hair if you don't let it grow? I want mine to be snow white down to BCL, or longer if I can get it that way (and still like it)!

I don't really know why older people, or people with gray hair feel the need to cut it short too. Maybe it was a trend from a long time ago that no one ever bothered to change. I heard lots of times that older women look younger with short hair, and to a certain extent, that could be true, if only they were good haircuts... I think short hair can be cute and edgy, but the way our mature ladies have been doing it, it seems more like a social standard, as if older women had the moral obligation of having it short. And that really annoys me, because my mom used to have the perfect hip length curls, and now she has barely enough length to cover her ears.

[luluj]

WOW, so many positive, encouraging replies, THANK-YOU EVERYONE! I read each and every response word for word and have taken each one to heart. This is such a caring, supportive community, my hair would never have made it to its current length without the never-ending encouragement that I receive here. Growing my silver hair long is another story, I have struggled with the decision only because of my age. TLHC has made me see things from a completely different perspective. There are many longhaired silver women(and men)here for me to draw inspiration from, I'm blessed to have found this community. It is the outside world where I am having some difficulty, but I am becoming stronger each day. I have promised myself to never respond to a negative comment with a negative comment ever again, I feel very bad about what I said. Lesson learned.........nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Just hold my head high and get on with it!! Thank-you "all" again for the supportive comments.:flower:

[Xandergrammy]

I think that as you become more confident with your beautiful long silvers, you will find a happy medium between self-doubt and "up yours!" ;)



:smooch: Truer words were never spoken. I love this, linda!!

[Xandergrammy]

Seriously, you, kitschy and Xandergrammy are my hair idols. You cut your hair, I'm doomed.
You have beautiful, beautiful hair. People that give you 'chop-it' hints must be jealous.


What a lovely thing to say, skaempfer!! Thank you so much! :flowers:

[kitschy]

Seriously, you, kitschy and Xandergrammy are my hair idols. You cut your hair, I'm doomed.
You have beautiful, beautiful hair. People that give you 'chop-it' hints must be jealous.

Thank you for your kind comment. Most of my close associates think I am too old to have long, gray AND curly hair. I think they could accept just one of those attributes alone - but combined is just too much for most people.

But I am what I am, and I have finally come to terms with my hair and myself. I am so much happier with myself at age 54 than at any other time in my life.

[feralnature]

Thank you for your kind comment. Most of my close associates think I am too old to have long, gray AND curly hair. I think they could accept just one of those attributes alone - but combined is just too much for most people.

But I am what I am, and I have finally come to terms with my hair and myself. I am so much happier with myself at age 54 than at any other time in my life.

I love your hair! You are one of my hair idols! I LOVE your long, curly, silver hair! I do not have your texture though so I just love your hair from afar :)

[feralnature]

Anyway, my hair is white in front and dark in back. I am 54 and plan to grow my hair forever. My mom and dad have snow white hair so I feel like I will have an interesting journey :)

[contradiction]

I don't think she was rude but you were.

[kmoc123]

You are NOT too old for long hair. Usually those with hateful remarks are very jealous. Anybody can have short hair...find a new friend!!!

[embee]

Heh. Sometimes people say rude stuff even when they don't much mean to, the words just come out that way..

I am envious of your hair... mine is so straight and thin and fine. I always wanted waves or curls and never in my life would perms hold. You can do stuff with your hair I will never be able to do!

I suspect I'm older than you are, and plan to keep long hair all my life. :) Phooey on the nay-sayers.

[luluj]

I don't think she was rude but you were.

I agree with you, contradiction, I "was" rude and I feel very embarrassed by my remark. Normally I would never intentionally say something hurtful to anyone, but her "tone of voice" was very rude and I guess it just got to me enough that I opened my mouth and out it spilled. It was not my proudest moment.:(

[jojo]

After the shock and trauma of getting my "down to the wood chop" I decided to let my hair grow long and I love it, you should consider doing the same, you would look far more feminine."

I love this and why shouldnt you speak your mind and how rude of the lady to say what she said to you. You are no way too old, is there an actual too old to have long hair???? I dont think so, keep it growing...you do it so well!

[jojo]

I agree with you, contradiction, I "was" rude and I feel very embarrassed by my remark. Normally I would never intentionally say something hurtful to anyone, but her "tone of voice" was very rude and I guess it just got to me enough that I opened my mouth and out it spilled. It was not my proudest moment.:(

well I dont think you was rude you could have said " well I prefer to look feminine with long hair, than resemble a toilet brush!" now that would have been rude, you spoke your mind, as she did! and where i am from if you can't take it...don't dish it out! so in other words you had every right to say what you did after she tried humiliating you !

[luluj]

Thank-you jojo, your comments made me feel much better. It is always so nice to hear from you, once again you are here to help me through yet another bump in the road on my journey here at TLHC;)

[Avvoltoio]

i think it is just a stupid stereotype when people think long hair is not suits good on older people. In my eyes the long grey or white hair is much more better than the short pixie cuts what i see on almost all elder women.

[sunshine80]

You and your hair are beautiful...that woman NEVER should of said anything to you and she was being rude...if she was really concerned she would of just simply asked if your hair bothered you in florida! Forget her and move on she is jealous! I hope your having a better day:)

[marzipanthecat]

I was just going to write a very short reply to the original question:

No, you are not too old to have long hair.

(Cor gosh that was a nice easy one to answer!)

By the way, I think we all say hurtful things we feel bad about later, even if they are sometimes deserved. It doesn't mean we should all stoop low, no matter how much we want to! (And cor gosh, I wish I could be a nicer person...)

[luluj]

Thank-you marzipanthecat!

[Carolyn]

No you are not too old for long hair. You are old enough to choose your own hair style and length. And I don't think you were rude. I loved your comment. I'm sure you were shocked and taken back at what was said whether it was rudely meant or not. I'm proud of you for speaking back to her. Maybe she will think twice before she comments on someone's appearance next time.

[luluj]

Thank-you so much for your support, Carolyn.

[Emerald88]

No, No and absolutely not! On the few rare occassions I have seen a lady with long silver hair I am always awestruck because it is so lovely & unique. I personally can't wait until my hair turns silver and certainly will wear it long.
As for the comments, I get them all the time so I don't think it has anything to do with age. I hardley ever wear mine down in public, but when I do I have to face the comments. Some are nice, but most are worded in a way that makes me feel like I must be the biggest freak of nature ever to even think of having long hair. Ignore it & do what makes you happy.

[luluj]

Emerald88, thanks so much. Today my hair is up! :)

[boomtownrat]

I agree with you, contradiction, I "was" rude and I feel very embarrassed by my remark. Normally I would never intentionally say something hurtful to anyone, but her "tone of voice" was very rude and I guess it just got to me enough that I opened my mouth and out it spilled. It was not my proudest moment.:(

Tone of voice can almost mean more than the words we say. (Studies have actually been done on this.) I don't think any of us, having not been there, can say that what the other woman said wasn't rude.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, luluj. Everybody says things that they later regret.

[jeanniet]

I think sometimes when we're taken aback by rude comments we say things we don't mean to say, so cut yourself some slack. If your friend was shocked by what you said, maybe it made her think about her own words and how inappropriate they were.

And I think long hair is beautiful at any age, silver or not. It may not be as accepted in some areas, but that doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. I'm lucky to live in an area where individuality is encouraged, but even if I didn't I would never look down on someone for doing anything out of the norm. What a boring world it would be if we were all alike!

[hanne jensen]

If you are alive and breathing, you are NOT too old to have long hair. I started growing my hair at 49 years of age. I'm now 51 and still growing, onward to knee length. I'm just barely BSL now, so I'll be at least 63 before I reach my goal. And yes, I have gray hairs. I've earned every one of them!

[mellie]

Luluj, sorry I didn't see your thread till now!!

Your hair is sooooo beautiful, I LOVE your curl, color, body, shine....EVERYTHING!! :cheer: You are so pretty with your natural hair color, and it's so lovely long!! You know, everyone is secretly admiring your hair so don't let one naysayer get you down. Just smile and shrug, and let them see you are very happy in your natural beauty!

[svehex]

I'm 38, and I don't plan to stop growing my hair. I love to see long silvery hair :)

[Xandergrammy]

But I am what I am, and I have finally come to terms with my hair and myself. I am so much happier with myself at age 54 than at any other time in my life.


This is exactly the way I feel (I'm 55)!

[Xandergrammy]

well I dont think you was rude you could have said " well I prefer to look feminine with long hair, than resemble a toilet brush!"


:rollin: Thanks jojo for the early morning giggle!

[Pixna]

But I am what I am, and I have finally come to terms with my hair and myself. I am so much happier with myself at age 54 than at any other time in my life.

I have to agree (and I'm 57). I'm especially happier with my hair than I've ever been at any other time in my life. :)


well I dont think you was rude you could have said " well I prefer to look feminine with long hair, than resemble a toilet brush!"

That totally cracked me up!!! :laugh:

[dropinthebucket]

Too funny, jojo! :D ... "toilet brush," hee hee

Just wanted to add, silver hair is stunning even before it's very long - I saw a woman with silver white SL hair at the grocery store the other day - she looked too young for silver hair, but I could see she was the right age, it was just that the hair was so beautiful and youthifying (can I make up that word? :) - before I could tell her how beautiful her hair was, she put a package of fish in her cart and left! :(

[nytquill]

I don't think your reply was particularly rude. Maybe that's because I work as a cashier and I routinely hear a lot worse than that!

People can be just awful. And a lot of people have never learned the lesson that it's never appropriate to comment on someone else's appearance except to give a compliment. Even if it seems inoffensive to say, you just never know where the other person is coming from or what their insecurities are. "You're so skinny" seems like a positive thing to say in a society where thinness is idolized - until you discover that the person has a metabolic disorder perhaps, or anorexia. Just as an example.

I think that you made that point neatly and without actually insulting her. If you feel bad about it of course that's a different story, but I see nothing wrong with it. There is a difference between being outright rude and just refusing to be somebody's doormat.

I once read in another thread about hair comments on here, someone's response of "Oh, are we commenting on each other's appearence then? Because I have a few things I've been meaning to say..." There's nothing mean in that by itself but it gets the point across that if they might not want to hear what others truly think then they ought to keep their own opinions to themselves to begin with.

[luluj]

I think that you made that point neatly and without actually insulting her. If you feel bad about it of course that's a different story, but I see nothing wrong with it. There is a difference between being outright rude and just refusing to be somebody's doormat.


Thank-you so much for this comment.:blossom:

[luluj]

If you are alive and breathing, you are NOT too old to have long hair. I started growing my hair at 49 years of age. I'm now 51 and still growing, onward to knee length. I'm just barely BSL now, so I'll be at least 63 before I reach my goal. And yes, I have gray hairs. I've earned every one of them!

I need to harness some of your "attitude" hanne jensen! I feel as though I have earned my silvers, I just need to feel the same about growing my silvers long....I'm working on it!;)

[luluj]

I just came across a great quote...........

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

I am going to remember this one.

[above_rubies]

No, a thousand times no! It is my opinion that you can never be too old for long hair. I believe that most of the comments that you get will come from people who are jealous because they are not brave enough to go against the social norm and grow theirs out. My mom (61) has been growing hers out and when she came for a visit recently it blew me away how much younger she looked. I always enjoy seeing women with long silver hair. I think it is so much prettier, and I have complimented a few. I do not like the short Q-tip look that is all over Florida. Ah well, to each his/her own. Don't let anyone intimidate you. Your hair is beautiful!!

[luluj]

Thanks above rubies! You sound like my own daughters, they have always been "in my corner" and I value there advice, they keep me young at heart.

[Kirin]

I have had long natural hair in my youth, long died hair as an adult, and after a near buzz cut, I am venturing at 42 into the realm of growing long silver streaked hair. I don't give a rat's backside what people think. Neither should you!

My life experience tells me, that those who feel outspoken enough to make foul comments about your personal style/look/opinion in condescending tone, usually are so jealous they could spit. If they are not jealous, they are feeling bad about themselves, therefore, they wish to put someone else down to make themselves feel better.

Grown on, sister, grow.

[TwilightBloom]

Your hair is beautiful, since joining this site, i have been noticing more and more all the ladies young and mature, that have beautiful long hair.. My mom hates long hair, she always wants all of us to have it chopped off, she is jealous, she never has been able to have the thick long hair we have, she can't quit perming it for it to grow.. lol Wear your beautiful hair with pride, and dont second guess yourself, do what makes you happy..:)

[ccmuffingirl]

You're never too old for long hair. One of the most beautiful heads of hair I've ever seen belongs to this older lady who drives the public bus in my city. Her sandy blonde hair is hip length and greying but it looks great. And I don't think your friend meant any harm. Like another poster said, some people cannot handle having long hair because it annoys them. I know of two people who feel this way. One had WL+ hair for as long as I can remember (we went to school together) then in college she lopped it off because she said she didn't have patience for it anymore, and the other says having long hair gives her headaches, so she cuts it off before it gets very long. Have you tried explaining to your friend why having long hair is so appealing to you? Maybe then she'll understand a little bit better. But also reassure her that she looks fine as she is. Sometimes I think friends get a little insecure when they see you heading in a direction that they don't understand or that they can't relate to. She probably just wants to feel included or something.

[baaaad_kitty]

No, never! I have always disliked it when I see older women with short hair styles, as if their age dictated that they can no longer wear their hair long. Kudos to you for growing your hair and keeping your silvers!

[Toadstool]

LOL Luluj, I read it as "Am I too YOUNG for long, silvery hair"? Because I think of you as young, I would never apply "old" to you. And you know how beautiful I think your hair is- I would LOVE to have it on my head. I think if I had your hair I wouldn't feel the need to colour it at all.

[TrudieCat]

Luluj, for what it's worth you are one of my hair idols here. :) I think your hair is so beautiful. I also think you have a really shining and kind personality, based on what I've seen of you here. I always like your posts, and I like your purple text, too. :D You always have a kind word and a positive point of view. :blossom: I definitely don't think you were too rude in the situation you described, and I hope that you are feeling better about yourself now!! :flower:

[luluj]

:blossom: Thanks so much to "everyone" for all of your comments, they mean so much me!:blossom:

[boomtownrat]

There is a difference between being outright rude and just refusing to be somebody's doormat.

YES, I agree with this times 100.

[curlymarcia]

There is never too old for long hair. Is your hair wear it how you like it, period. Don't worry about your friend, she gave you a hair comment without being ask, so she should handle your response. It's better being rude sometimes that hear people lowing you down.

[Nae]

Pffft are you kidding?!?!? You are adorable!

[luluj]

There is never too old for long hair. Is your hair wear it how you like it, period. Don't worry about your friend, she gave you a hair comment without being ask, so she should handle your response. It's better being rude sometimes that hear people lowing you down.

Thanks for the response, curlymarcia, I appreciate your support.:blossom:

[blue_nant]

Inside, she was thinking "OMG her hair looks so GOOD! I wouldn't be able to carry that off!"

BTW your hair is jaw droppin! I am "brown with tinsel" right now, and can't wait til mine looks like yours. Wow!

As far as promising not to say negative things back to folks who say nasty things? I am doomed to that, because I don't think fast enough. Giving up this skill voluntarily is something I cannot understand *evil grin*

[luluj]

Inside, she was thinking "OMG her hair looks so GOOD! I wouldn't be able to carry that off!"

BTW your hair is jaw droppin! I am "brown with tinsel" right now, and can't wait til mine looks like yours. Wow!

THANKS SO MUCH, blue-nant! Brown and Tinsel sounds lovely!:p:flower:

[Speckla]

Your hair is gorgeous and very healthy looking! I'd say that you could pull off long silvery hair at any age.

[luluj]

Your hair is gorgeous and very healthy looking! I'd say that you could pull off long silvery hair at any age.

THANKS, Speckla! My hair is in the best condition that it has ever been (except as a young girl of course:p) This is due to giving up hair dye, something I did for well over 25 years. TLHC has also taught me so much when it comes to caring for fragile hair. Silver hair doesn't have the strength of pigmented hair. Growing it longer requires plenty of TLC!;)

[FrannyG]

Your hair is beautiful, you are beautiful, and there's no way on earth that you too old are or ever will be too old to have the beautiful long hair that is yours now and the future long hair that you'll have that will be longer and more silvery. :heartbeat

Also, as far as I'm concerned, your reply to your "friend" may not have been wholly appropriate, but given the situation, I understand the need to lash out a bit. Please stop feeling guilty. It's time that people kept their negativity about our choice of hair to themselves. :grouphug:

[Victorious]

Luluj, You have gorgeous hair.
Sometimes people say things because they are jealous. This was in my horoscope yesterday. "If others have nothing better to do than make you the subject of their conversation, that's their problem, not yours." I didn't get to read your post before you edited it, but I kind of liked the "You'd look more feminine..." thing you said to the poor soul. "flowers"

BTW My whites are twice as thick a my regular hair, have body and are slightly wavy. I love my sparklies.

[clairenewcastle]

Just found your thread.....sending a big healing hug.

Never ever feel bad about standing up for yourself and for what you believe in luluj.
Your response was that of a strong woman expressing her opinion, as you're entitled to do.

Be proud of yourself and your beautiful hair.

[ratgirldjh]

I have to say that NO one is too old for long silvery hair.

Long Silvery Hair is the Goddess... :)

[ScarlettAdelle]

You only become too old for it when you are no longer physically capable of managing it. From the looks of yours you are nowhere close to that. Your hair is beautiful. Don't indulge her jealousy by allowing it to affect you. The sayings about grudges apply here: "while you're at home holding a grudge, the object is out dancing." Don't let her ruin your hair for you. Go out dancing and let her be jealous. If she were a true friend, she would be happy that you're happy instead of trying to bring you down to her level.

[luluj]

Your hair is beautiful, you are beautiful, and there's no way on earth that you too old are or ever will be too old to have the beautiful long hair that is yours now and the future long hair that you'll have that will be longer and more silvery. :heartbeat

Also, as far as I'm concerned, your reply to your "friend" may not have been wholly appropriate, but given the situation, I understand the need to lash out a bit. Please stop feeling guilty. It's time that people kept their negativity about our choice of hair to themselves. :grouphug:

I THOUGHT THIS LITTLE THREAD OF MINE HAD FIZZLED! Thanks so much for your support, Franny, you are very wise.:blossom:

[luluj]

Luluj, You have gorgeous hair.
Sometimes people say things because they are jealous. This was in my horoscope yesterday. "If others have nothing better to do than make you the subject of their conversation, that's their problem, not yours." I didn't get to read your post before you edited it, but I kind of liked the "You'd look more feminine..." thing you said to the poor soul. "flowers"

BTW My whites are twice as thick a my regular hair, have body and are slightly wavy. I love my sparklies.

Oh my, thanks so much, Victorious! I am happy to hear that you love your sparklies, I love mine too!;):sun:

[luluj]

I have to say that NO one is too old for long silvery hair.

Long Silvery Hair is the Goddess... :)

YES, I like this....Goddess!:hifive:

[luluj]

You only become too old for it when you are no longer physically capable of managing it. From the looks of yours you are nowhere close to that. Your hair is beautiful. Don't indulge her jealousy by allowing it to affect you. The sayings about grudges apply here: "while you're at home holding a grudge, the object is out dancing." Don't let her ruin your hair for you. Go out dancing and let her be jealous. If she were a true friend, she would be happy that you're happy instead of trying to bring you down to her level.

THANK-YOU, ScarlettAdelle! Very true........I shall follow your advice....:disco:

[luluj]

Just found your thread.....sending a big healing hug.

Never ever feel bad about standing up for yourself and for what you believe in luluj.
Your response was that of a strong woman expressing her opinion, as you're entitled to do.

Be proud of yourself and your beautiful hair.

Thanks for the hug Claire. I have missed you!:puppykisses:

[Bonkers57]

Amen to that, claire! You know those motivational posters they have hanging around some workplaces? One that was around a lot years ago said, "Don't Let the Turkeys Get You Down!"


Just found your thread.....sending a big healing hug.

Never ever feel bad about standing up for yourself and for what you believe in luluj.
Your response was that of a strong woman expressing her opinion, as you're entitled to do.

Be proud of yourself and your beautiful hair.

[angelthadiva]

I'm just seeing this now :( I'm sorry to hear that your friend responded to your hair that way. I think if people are genuine friends we can say things to each other that we might not otherwise say to a total stranger. With that said, I think some people can over-step even those friendly boundaries when they give unsolicited advice.

I do agree with you that some of these senior, short hair styles are harsh and not very feminine looking at all...So, what you said is probably true and something people would probably not have the nerve to say. Would you have said this truth, had she not also said what she felt were true? Probably not, but we live and learn :shrug: If she's a good friend, she will just let it roll off her back. She may even take what you said to heart and begin to grow hers a bit longer.

I think your hair looks fantastic. I love the color and your curls. It looks so thick and soft. I think (an you know this) women have been conditioned to think we MUST cut our hair off when we are a "certain age" and color. We are told that we look old when we don't cut/color...Well, what I've learned in this dye-free era in my life is that God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave me this color. My natural color goes perfectly with my complexion; even my virgin outgrowth is beautiful. I know I don't look old and I wish someone would say I did. I'm not trying to pass for a 20 something anyway ;)

[EmiliaF]

I've had a similar discussion with my aunt yesterday. She has some grey in her really beautiful hair and I have decided to let my highlights grow out,
It sounds like two very different things but it comes down to the point that you have to be happy with yourself. She decided to have her hair dyed because she likes herself more that way and feels more confident. I have decided to let the highlights grow out even though people might see me as more boring, but I will still like myself more because my goal is to have healthy hair.
In my opinion it's all about the attitude. People will see you like you see yourself. There will always be people who don't like you... screw them!!
You have to like yourself, because you have to live with yourself every day... that's all you need to know!

[wtchmel]

Personally, when it comes to being 'older' and having long hair, i'm all for the silvers. At least when you're growing out the hair to long lengths at an older age, if it's silver/white, etc., it doesn't look like you're trying to 'hold on' to the youth thing!( no one is going to think you're some young thang from behind, and be shocked when you turn around! which i've seen time and again!LOL)( same with bangs and being silver).
Where I live(santa cruz county, ca.)there are a ton of women who wear their hair long and gray/silver/white. It's looks great. sometimes it may age you( societies forced viewpoint,sigh...), but at least it's healthy and beautiful!!
Your comment was a direct reaction to a rude individual, was it okay?; maybe, maybe not, but at least you stuck up for yourself!
Let that long hair flow and be proud!!

[Loislane]

One of my biggest inspirations was seeing my great aunt with her hair down. It was wash day fir her and she was visiting my grandmother. Her hair was down (the ONLY time I ever saw it down-it was always up in a nice bun) and her hair was the most beautiful silver waterfall. She was sitting in a highbacked kitchen chair and her hair trailed down and lay a good three or four inches on the floor. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Not many months later she was diagnosed with cancer and began chemo. Seeing her the next time with her head shaved and then later only two inches long was heart breaking. Every time I think of her I picture her in that chair. She was gorgeous and a wonderful person as well.
I think the attitude of the person makes the hair fit or not, and by reading this thread I think the silver is your inner beauty shining through, the same way it was for my aunt.

[Uni&Corn]

I think it's ridiculous that one is ever "too old" for long hair, silver or not. Your hair is beautiful, and if you like it you should keep it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

[castano]

That's right, if you feel it fits you better wearing long hair, then don't cut it just because of what other people think. They think they couldn't handle it because they don't have it. If they would get good remarks about their long hair, I suppose they would change their mind. Long or short hair doesn't go with how old you are but only with your nature.

[Spike]

Pffft. Never too old.

My long hair inspiration was my grandmother. She wore her KNEELENGTH SILVER hair up in a dutch crown from the time I can remember her up until I was a teen.

She cut to pixie when it became hard for her to comb, braid, and pin her hair, but she was in her late seventies/early eighties by then.

[luluj]

One of my biggest inspirations was seeing my great aunt with her hair down. It was wash day fir her and she was visiting my grandmother. Her hair was down (the ONLY time I ever saw it down-it was always up in a nice bun) and her hair was the most beautiful silver waterfall. She was sitting in a highbacked kitchen chair and her hair trailed down and lay a good three or four inches on the floor. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Not many months later she was diagnosed with cancer and began chemo. Seeing her the next time with her head shaved and then later only two inches long was heart breaking. Every time I think of her I picture her in that chair. She was gorgeous and a wonderful person as well.
I think the attitude of the person makes the hair fit or not, and by reading this thread I think the silver is your inner beauty shining through, the same way it was for my aunt.

This is such a lovely, heartwarming comment, thanks so much for your thoughts, Loislane.:blossom:

[luluj]

Thanks so much for all of the supportive comments and wonderful advice, it does a heart good!:grouphug:

[LorenHope]

luluj- I have to say that I absolutely LOVE the way your hair looks in that picture! What type of bun/updo is that? I am very new to this whole thing but I would love some advice on how to get great, everyday updo's like yours. BTW, I do NOT think you are too old to wear your hair long and silver!! Go for it!

[Athena's Owl]

"Oh my god, look how long your hair is, how can you stand it, I can't imagine having to deal with that volume of hair every day."

...I read that as merely curious with a sprinkling of amazement, but people say these sorts of things to me all the time...people can't imagine it because they don't have the first idea how to care for hair past a certain length, that's all.