Questions for the salt-and-pepper (who color, or don't)

[jujube]

The norm is now to have colored hair as soon as the first gray hairs appear, with some women never stopping dying their hair even after 70, and more and more men starting to color theirs. Hair is an area that definitely doesn't resist the social obsession with youth. I was a philosophy student and am still fascinated with aesthetic normativity. I have questions both for those who color and those who made the choice to sport their gray hairs.

If you color,

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to color?
2. Did you ever sport your naturally salt-and-pepper hair and for how long? Are there changes in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?
3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? Does it influence your decision?
4. Do you feel like you're in a vicious circle where you have to keep on coloring every so often or lose your length to grow your gray?
5. Do you plan on going back to your natural hair color and when?

If you don't color (Renegrays;)),

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color?
2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?
3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it?
4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you?
5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when?

[spidermom]

I am a personality type who does not feel or understand social pressure. I started noticing lots of white and silver hairs in my mid-40s. I asked my hair stylist at the time about coloring my gray, and she told me "It's not gray; it's silvery blonde. It's going to be stunning." So I've never colored it, except once with a Punky fantasy shade (red violet). I'll probably do that again one of these days; I still have half the jar.

[pinchbeck]

I am 42 year old and have grey hair coming in through my hairline and sides. Below I have answered your questions because I choose not to colour my hair:
1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color[/I[I]]? Yes. I prefer hair colour in its natural state.

2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you? I coloured my hair in my twenties because I felt I would look more attractive. It was coloured at different points with blond highlights, dark brown, and reddish-brown. Because I felt more attractive with my hair colour different, I felt others would find me more attactive. Most people liked the blond highlights, but some preferred my hair in its natural state.

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it? No. I don't feel the pressure because I am not a fan of the way colour alters grey hair. Although, my older child pressures me to colour my hair I stand my ground by stating we all age and this is how it is. I will be honest by saying that my new appearance that continually changes with the new addition of greys is a bit shocking. I am not used to this 'new' colour against my skin tone and eye colour.

4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you? I am not at that point yet, but it seems as though my hair is turning white opposed to salt and pepper. I am not sure why some hair turns white right away while others turn salt and pepper.

5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when? I plan on holding on to the melanin filled hair for as long as I can! I don't like the idea of applying chemicals to my scalp in order to change the way I look every two months. In addition, I wouldn't want grey roots. I would rather have all my hair one colour instead of having a horizontal striped appearance. It saddens me that I am loosing my hair colour, but this is a stage in life that I have to accept along with the fine lines on my face.

[teela1978]

I'm not really all that gray yet, but when I part my hair right there are definitely noticeable silver sparklies.

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color? Nope. Right now I hate dying more than I hate my grays, that could still change.

2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you? I started dying when I was 22ish and a friend one day suggested "lets go blonde!". I didn't end up blonde at all, but my hair lightened enough that I had a demarcation... thus starting 5 years or so of regular dying. I grew it out to chin length and got the dyed bits chopped off at some point in time. A friend's exclamation of "oh my god you have grays!" sent me straight back to the bottle.

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it? No. On the rare occasion that people notice or mention it I just give a quick "I hate dying it more than I hate my grays right now" and they drop the subject.

4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you? No.

5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when? If I ever start disliking my grays more than I dislike hair dye (I hate the smell and the mess). I don't see that happening any time soon though.

[milagro]

I am more of salt-and-cinnamon and I dye my gray hair, together with non-gray of course.

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to color?
No. It took me by surprise :) though premature gray runs in my family on maternal side.
2. Did you ever sport your naturally salt-and-pepper hair and for how long? Are there changes in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?
I didn't notice it until it got more massive. In my hair individual gray hairs are not too visible, and I also get a lot of sun-bleach in summer, so my natural color was never quite monotonous.
I can't say about everybody but my friends and family didn't change a bit. My perception was that it's natural and the only sad thing was that I would have to commit to dye routine.

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? Does it influence your decision?
No I don't. I dye it because gray is not looking good in my particular hair. Gray makes my original "warm" shade look dirty and mousy. I love beautiful gray, white on black/dark, and wouldn't have minded if mine were such.
4. Do you feel like you're in a vicious circle where you have to keep on coloring every so often or lose your length to grow your gray?
Yes, yes, yes!

5. Do you plan on going back to your natural hair color and when?
Not until I have truly massive gray when there's more white than color. Then I think it would be possible to tint and go silver :) I schedule it by 60-something but we'll see...

[kitschy]

If you don't color (Renegrays),

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color?

I've always done everything as close to natural as possible so I assume it is part of my personality to accept things the way they are, including my gray hair.

2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?

I've never colored my hair, I still feel like the same person I always was, and don't give a rat's patootie how someone else perceives me.

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it?

No

4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you?

My hair can't properly be defined as salt-and-pepper. I like to think of it as silver and gold. :D

5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when?

No and never. ;)

[akka naeda]

If you don't color

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color?
I used to henna, but the white hair came in in a block right over my temple and white hair goes orange with henna. That wasn't a good look, so I gave up hennaing. If I didn't have the large chunk of white, but just a steadily increasing number of "sprinkles" I'd probably still be hennaing.

2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?
I've hennaed my hair for most of my life, it has nothing to do with the number of white hairs I have, just that I liked the colour of henna on dark hair.
I'm the same person as I was then.
I don't know if there's a difference in how people perceive me, sorry.

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it?
No, because I see plenty of women my age with S&P hair round here, all styles, all lengths. And anyway, it's my hair, I do what I want with it. I've shaved it off, I've dyed it all colours of the rainbow, right now it is long and S&P

4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you?
No. Although I have been told it's nice to see I'm confident enough in how I look not to feel I have to alter it by dying my hair.

5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when?
No, far too much botherto do the whole lot regularly. Although I am quite keen to have rainbow colours again, so when I have more white hairs then I may have a temporary purple streak.

[Pierre]

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to color?
No. I decided to color after seeing a few grays.
2. Did you ever sport your naturally salt-and-pepper hair and for how long? Are there changes in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?
I don't think I had enough gray when I started hennaing for anyone to notice.
3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? Does it influence your decision?
I don't feel social pressure. I do think it makes me look younger.
4. Do you feel like you're in a vicious circle where you have to keep on coloring every so often or lose your length to grow your gray?
No. I henna because I like the way my hair looks, smells, and feels when it's hennaed, not because of anything vicious.
5. Do you plan on going back to your natural hair color and when?
Probably not. My sideburns are completely gray under the henna, and I still like the color.

[lillylonghair]

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to color?
I have been coloring my hair for years. I noticed my greys about a year ago.
2. Did you ever sport your naturally salt-and-pepper hair and for how long? Are there changes in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?
I haven't grown out all of my color for long enough to really see them all but I want to! I am moving to place in my life where I want to be more myself and like the way I look. So showing off my greys is part of that.
3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? Does it influence your decision?
Nope and Nope!
4. Do you feel like you're in a vicious circle where you have to keep on coloring every so often or lose your length to grow your gray?
I used to but I feel like my dyed hair isn't such a far stretch from my natural color that I'll mind.
5. Do you plan on going back to your natural hair color and when? Yes! I am am going on 2 months without henna or indigo.

[Kirin]

Renegray

I used to dye, for years and years. Now, I don't. I cut off all the color, and I am leaving it natural. I realized I was coloring my hair, not because its what I wanted, but because it was like a pre-programed "this is what you do" robotic response to Gray hair.

I realized that coloring made it look like I was trying too hard.

[serious]

If you color,

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to color?

Not at all!
I started using henna and indigo not to hide my grays but because the texture of my grays drove me crazy and no single styling product worked for me! ( it was before the LHC!)

Did you ever sport your naturally salt-and-pepper hair and for how long? Are there changes in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?

Yes, for about 10 years.
Personally, I think I looked better with my natural color ( orange henna color doesn't look great with my skin tone ), but other people think I look better now. The henndigo color itself is gorgeous, but after three years, I still sometimes feel uncomfortable with it.

Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? Does it influence your decision?

NO.

4. Do you feel like you're in a vicious circle where you have to keep on coloring every so often or lose your length to grow your gray?

Yes.
I believe I could not stand two or three toned hair while growing out my henndigo color.



5. Do you plan on going back to your natural hair color and when?

Yes.
As soon as I get large chunks of grays ( well, I have some smaller ones around my forehead already) which really won't look good with henna, I'm going to get a buzz cut and start growing all over again, or, if my hair gets really thin due to menopause, I'll keep it short forever.

[rags]

Renegray

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color?

Yes I did, but then I colored them anyways when I was about 30. I regretted it almost immediately.

2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?

Yes, I colored my hair from about age 30 to 35 or 37? Somewhere in there. The only difference in how I perceived myself is that I feel more authentically myself since I quit coloring. The difference in how others perceived me was mainly that I look at least 10-15 years younger with dyed hair. People now only think I'm about 5 years younger than my true age instead of 15!

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it?

There is tremendous social pressure in my area to color your hair until you are at least 60. It's actually fairly rare to see a woman under that age in this area with undyed hair. I personally react to it by not caring. :D'

4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you?

No I'm not making a statement. I don't dye my hair because I don't feel like myself with it and because I don't like putting chemicals on my head every four weeks and being tied to HAVING to do it. No statement, just my own preference.


5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when?

No I have no plans to ever color my hair again. I had a silver streak framing my face by the time I was 25 (think Rouge in X-men). Now that I'm in my 40's I have almost the front third of my hair silver, and it's spread throughout the rest (though not a lot in the back). I have no plans whatsoever to ever dye it again.

[Aurantia]

I really like this thread, jujube, thank you for starting this discussion.

If you don't color (Renegrays;))

1. Did you decide before having gray hairs that you were going to keep your natural hair color?

Yes and no: I have always found gray / silver / white hair to be tremendously gorgeous. As a young girl I fantasized that my hair would become all over gray / silver / white at some age so in that respect, yes. No, because I didn't really experience a "before gray" stage: I started getting gray hair at age 12 and they have continued to multiply as I've grown older -- I'm still more brunette than salt and pepper but I have much, much more gray than most 31 year olds.

2. Did you ever color your hair and for how long did you keep coloring? Are there differences in the way you perceived yourself, now and then? The way others perceived you?

I have never colored my hair to "cover the gray" -- because it's been with me since before high school I consider it part of my natural color. On the few occasions I have permanently dyed I stuck with it about a year and then let it grow out. There were no differences in the way that I perceived or that others perceived me.

As a side note, despite my heavy sprinkling of sparklies strangers have always guessed that I am younger than my actual years so I don't think that gray hair automatically means "old" in people's eyes (sorry, Cosmo).

Another example is a classmate of mine that has shoulder length, perfectly solid silver hair (obviously not dyed). I assumed from day one that she was in her mid-twenties based on her manner of dress, youthful countenance and lively spirit.

3. Do you feel social pressure to color your hair up to a certain age? How do you react to it?

Absolutely not.

4. Does having salt-and-pepper hair make you (or others) feel like you're making a statement? Are you?

Not really, I mean it's my hair exactly the way it sprouts out of my head. I don't shave my legs either but I didn't decide at some point to implant hair on my legs and grow it out to shock people.

(I don't assume that ladies who color or shave are necessarily making a statement either: people tend to alter their appearance in whatever manner they choose because that's what they themselves like, right?)

5. Do you plan on coloring your hair and when?

Sure! :)I've been daydreaming about sporting a very rich, dark chocolate brown once my length hits waist. And when I tire of that I'll grow it out again.