Mistakes we have made at salons that may have caused unintended results

[purplebubba]

This is meant as a learning thread. This is not a bashing thread.
Because sometimes bad experiences are not just or even all the stylists fault.

To start with I'd like to point to the link in the archives
What to say and do so you get the cut you want (from a hairdresser)
http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=66699

This can be a thread to either add any new ideas you have for that thread or try to think back and see if you can remember something you might have done or said to cause unintended results.

Examples:

1. Did you cross your legs or not sit up straight while getting a cut or trim?

2. Did you show a picture that wasn't really going to work on your hair?

3. Did you have a chance to speak up about something you noticed but didn't for whatever reason?

4. Did you ask for a chemical or heat service that wasn't really a good idea at the time?

5. Were you in a hurry or did you go to a salon too close to closing or to a stylist that was too busy?

6. Did you use technical terms that you really didn't know? Or perhaps had more than one meaning? For example the term undercut can be used to describe the ends of hair being cut in such a way to cause them to curve inward and can also refer to lifting the hair in back up and cutting the underneath hair really short.


Its a shame that many have had bad experiences and in some cases it may have been the fault of someone else. But I feel that either way LHC and forums like it should be about finding ways to learn how to make things better for both clients and stylists by learning and sharing.
I have made hair forums and I always was happy to have Stylists, Colorists, Instructors and all sorts join. It was an instructor living in a state 1000 miles away that was able to answer some of the questions I had about going to cosmetology school that helped me decide to give it a try. And even though I only went 800 of 1500 hours and may have learned some of the things that may or may not be true I wouldn't trade the experience. Day one in school we were told and saw signs that said it "Never stop learning" and I don't plan to stop. There's always something new to learn about hair.

To answer my own thread I can't really recall a mistake I made in a salon nor do I recall anything bad a stylist did to me. Most of my own personal bad experiences are a result of parents and granparents that wanted me to have short hair or by taking scissors to my own hair as a kid. (Kind of like fine you want me to have short hair I'll do it my way.) What did it matter? It was gonna be buzed eventually anyway.

I was glad to finally be over 18 and able to actually tell a stylist something. And when I did it was trim about half an inch and I really didn't care if it was more as long as it wasn't hacked. And I went to at least 10 different stylists and came out fine.

The part that was my fault was growing out a pixie like haircut for about 3 years without a cut and then going for a trim and having the stylist show me how uneven it was in back. So I let her cut the 6 or so inches off.

I currently do not go to salons but that's because I do my own trims. My hair is in some sort of ponytail when I am in public so no one will ever know if my hair is uneven. And I'm long past caring if it is. My only goal is never short again.

Anyway I hope this actually gives us something to learn from.

I'll leave off with two things
First to the professionals who are still with us thank you. Maybe you can even share some experiences where you or a client or both made a mistake and if you have any ideas on what could be done to not run into that situation.

And second a few of my tips that I don't know if they are in the linked thread or not.

1. Write down what you want to say to the stylist on some cards or a notebook and read them to the stylist. Type them up as if you're posting here or print out what you posted here.

2. A Tip on asking for a certain shaped hemline or length - Draw it (and some other tips)
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=52516

3. If talking to your stylist in a styling chair causes you to be shy or scared ask to talk somewhere else and try to do so before your hair is wet. Find salons that offer free consultations. Go to more than one and get second opinions. If you are talking about your hair color have them go outside for a minute to look at your hair in natural light.

Final note: Please realize that its always going to be about the individual stylist you go to and you. Its not going to matter whether the salon is SuperCuts or John Famous in Beverly Hills. It only matters who is behind your chair. And it matters what both you and the stylist say or do or don't say or do.

Its not an all stylists or all ____ type salons thing. Its a what happened to make it a good or bad situation at that time between two people thing. What can we do to learn from it besides just giving up? Its ok to never go to a salon again but can we still learn things to share with those who want to still try it?

Not all purples are bubba and not all bubbas are purple. And no matter how much I try to be a good one not everyone is going to have good results with me.

[little_cherry]

I made the mistake of not speaking up and ended up with much shorter hair than I would have liked. Of course, it was my fault. I was polite, paid the Stylist and was on my way. No need to be upset at my own mistake. Live and learn. ;)

[Toadstool]

hahaha this thread title made me laugh, because it's a great follow-on from the previous two threads! Good one, PurpleBubba!

I have made loads of mistakes by using the wrong terminology. Also because I have a social/ communication disorder and don't always understand what the stylist is saying, I will just say yes because I am too embarrassed to admit I can't visualise it. Then they do something like cut my entire fringe to half an inch long because I've agreed to it.
I really valued my last haircut (at a more expensive salon) because even though I used the wrong words to describe what I wanted the stylist kept checking with me and showing me the back and it took three goes to get what I wanted but she was not impatient at all. I gave her a huge tip because she had taken so much time and care.

[MandyBeth]

For me, going alone is a BAD idea. Never had a cut with my glasses on, but off, I can't see what they do literally. DH goes with, no issues at all.

[purplebubba]

For me, going alone is a BAD idea. Never had a cut with my glasses on, but off, I can't see what they do literally. DH goes with, no issues at all.

I haven't been to a salon since before I got my glasses so if I did go I'd be blind now too.

[luxepiggy]

Assuming that reasonably priced brow waxing (or whatever other services they offer) = reasonably priced trims. These numbers are not always correlated! Ask - lest you end up like piggy, who paid $120 (before tips!!) for them to trim her blunt hemline, all-one-length, no-fringe, no-layers, no split ends hair. It literally took less than 15 minutes.

http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff33/shoppingpiglet/piggies/4heo121.gif

After that I decided I'd exhausted my lifetime salon expense allocation and started self-trimming (^(oo)^)v

[AnnaJamila]

Whoa! Expensive!!! I let my stylist cut me off as I described what I wanted, not once, not twice, nope not even three times! She literally would not let me finish my sentence because she didn't want to hear it. Which should have been an indication that I needed to run far and fast! But I used to have such a hard time arranging for a back room to be set up since I can't let men see me without my hijab so whenever I got it cut the women who did it just chopped and walked. I went one time and the lady didn't even speak to me. She just said "uh-huh". But back to chatty cathy, she ended up razoring the crap out of it WITH A DULL RAZOR, giving it CROOKED layers and using something greasy on it that didn't wash out for days.

Yes, there are good stylists. No, I'm not taking any more chances to find them. Please don't get your panties in a wad, I'm not talking about you (or am I?! ;) ). This did happen and it did suck. Sorry.

[BeatlesFanGirl]

I made a bad mistake 2 months ago. I went to a stylist ( a woman just a few years older than me) who is an aquaintance to my dad. I wanted a V-cut and bangs, but wanted to keep my length. I took pictures too and told her what exacty I wanted. WRONG. Bangs look awful, and the whole V-cut turned out to be an awful zigzag hemline, she cut some locks way much shorter, and even thined the endings a bit! :O :O She's such a mountebank! I'm done with stylists, the one who I'm gonna let near my hair for a trim (I I'll trim twice or 3 times a year, no more) is my friend. (She trimmed in the past and always made a good job, never cut more than I asked, she cuts less instead:))

I don't even know what to do. Grow for 6 months and trim then, or cut back to BSL and grow from that? :S

[purplebubba]

Whoa! Expensive!!! I let my stylist cut me off as I described what I wanted, not once, not twice, nope not even three times! She literally would not let me finish my sentence because she didn't want to hear it. Which should have been an indication that I needed to run far and fast! But I used to have such a hard time arranging for a back room to be set up since I can't let men see me without my hijab so whenever I got it cut the women who did it just chopped and walked. I went one time and the lady didn't even speak to me. She just said "uh-huh". But back to chatty cathy, she ended up razoring the crap out of it WITH A DULL RAZOR, giving it CROOKED layers and using something greasy on it that didn't wash out for days.

Yes, there are good stylists. No, I'm not taking any more chances to find them. Please don't get your panties in a wad, I'm not talking about you (or am I?! ;) ). This did happen and it did suck. Sorry.


Sorry to hear that you've had that experience. Lets try to get something out of that to learn from. Something to add to our notes to ask a stylist.

1. Before any cutting is done perhaps we could ask if their tools are sharp and if they are clean.

2. We can add finding salons with back rooms or private rooms to the list of things to ask when calling around before hand if we need privacy. And then checking these salons out during our free consultations to see if they are decent rooms.

3. And since its been mentioned in a few posts now we should find out the prices before hand since they do vary so much from place to place and vary within a salon. Even the chain salons have prices based on what stylist does your hair. Although that could be based on if you request the more experienced ones.

I'm not trying to say that we can prevent your situation from happening again.
I know some people live in small towns in remote areas and don't have multiple salons to choose from so we can't help everyone find a pro. Or other situations. But even finding a friend who does what you need is good. That's the whole point. Just like finding whether a salon or store brand or plain water works best for your hair the same applies to finding which stylist works best for you and hoping you can use their services long term. The point to this is how do we find what we need for us. I'm by no means trying to push anyone to go back to a salon if they have sworn them off.

Here's one to add, ask ahead of time if your stylist will be answering a phone or working on other clients while its your turn. Or if they will be going on break.

Another, ask the salon what their policies are regarding haircuts that cut too much off and how to go about getting your money back or getting it fixed before going. Or make it a point to tell your stylist that you have had really bad experiences in the past and are hoping to find someone to trust and give repeat business to. And if you do find someone good make it a point to find out about them. Ask them if they are planning to switch salons or to give you a call if they do.

[LawyerGirl]

I've made a lot of mistakes! Crossing my legs, for starters. Also not knowing the right terminology... asking for a bob, shag, etc. when that wasn't really what I was picturing in my head. So of course when the stylist finished, I was unhappy... but it was my fault, not hers.

[BunnyBee]

Not saying STOP

When my hair was being painfully yanked by a fine tooth comb straight after washing
When they *fluffed* my hair so much it just looked a mess and added way too much coney shine gel
When I watched my hair getting progressively shorter until it was barely shoulder length.

[nytquill]

I've only had one bad experience with a stylist and it was because of a miscommunication.

I was in the process of growing out a perm, so I had a few inches of straight hair growing out and then curls on the bottom. I seem to recall my hair being somewhere around APL. Probably would have been BSL without the curls. Anyway, I was tired of having the perm but I knew it was going to take some time to grow it all out, and I didn't want to cut my hair too short in the meantime. So I asked her for this first time to just take a few inches of permed hair off the bottom, with the intention of coming back in a few months to have more taken off, and so on until it was all cut off but without me ever cutting my hair too short for my liking.

I don't know if she just cut to her vision instead of mine...if she thought she knew better than me, or if she got mixed up with my saying that EVENTUALLY I wanted the perm all cut off...and that's what she did, right then and there. Byebye permed hair at least, but my hair was chin length! I was devastated. I don't know why I didn't notice her cutting much higher than I wanted. But I was 13 and she was a very popular stylist in my small town so I guess I didn't question it. I still think it was more my failure to make clear/make sure she understood what I wanted, than any kind of meanness on her part.

I don't get my hair cut anymore, I just S&D myself at home. But I would say the takeaway lesson from that is that particularly if you have specific or unusual (to a stylist) instructions, always make sure your hairdresser understands EXACTLY what you want. Maybe you could even ask him/her to repeat back to you what you said, to be sure they've heard you right.

[purplebubba]

I don't get my hair cut anymore, I just S&D myself at home. But I would say the takeaway lesson from that is that particularly if you have specific or unusual (to a stylist) instructions, always make sure your hairdresser understands EXACTLY what you want. Maybe you could even ask him/her to repeat back to you what you said, to be sure they've heard you right.

Yep. I also recommend having the stylist use sections and having them start their guide in the back on the hair closest to the neck. And ask them to show you how much was cut or with a mirror show you the difference between that and the uncut hair. That way if its too much it can be covered by other hair. And if too little you can ask for more. Even if you have thin hair ask for sections or ask them to cut less and show you first. Keep in mind that more hair might be cut when they try to even it up or cut stray hairs. So either specify that it doesn't have to be perfect or ask them to cut less and then even / clean it up.

[lapushka]

Be very specific. Overly specific in fact. Especially about the length of your hair that needs to be cut off or that you want to have left.

I'll never ever again tell a stylist that my hair needs to still be long enough to do a ponytail, without further instructions. What do you think happened? I ended up with hair between chin and shoulder length and not much more than a stub for a ponytail. :( I of course still wanted a decent amount of length left for a *decent* ponytail not a stub!

[Amraann]

Got a perm when I was a teen over my already lightened hair.
My own fault.

Tip: Fully discuss with your hairdresser what damage any chemical service's will cause and if other less damaging options are available.
Also if you really think you must have a perm why not have someone set it with perm rods without putting the perm solution in.
Once the rods are removed you will have a pretty good idea of what the perm will look like and be better able to decide if you really want that look and if it is worth the damage.
Or even if you would prefer a different sized perm rod.

Another tip.... Always ask your hair stylist to show you the amount they are going to cut before they make the first cut.

[share801]

Saying "do whatever you think". Of course, I had short hair then so not much to lose, but it was still awful.

[purplebubba]

Thank you to those who have posted. Lots of good stuff to learn from.

[spidermom]

I think the worst mistake I made was when I decided to grow out a short haircut. I went in and told the stylist that I wanted a trim. She asked how long it had been since my last haircut, and I told her 8 months. Then she took off about 4 inches and returned me to the same style I was trying to grow out! I have learned since then that "a trim" can mean several things, one of which is "my style has grown out and lost shape; fix it".

[mellie89]

My biggest mistake, which I made consistently when I went to salons, was not being specific enough. I'd ask for a trim and to have my layers cleaned up. I've gotten 4-5" "trims," and I've gotten some crazy layers.

Of course, that is completely my fault. It's partly because I'm not assertive enough, and partly because up until about a year ago, I really didn't care what they did with my hair, as long as it was still fairly long.

Now, I self trim! If I went back to a salon, I would ask for a half-inch trim with long, blended layers, and I would speak up if they were too aggressive or if they started taking too much off.

[BrightEyes7]

Well the last time I went to a salon was about 3 years ago almost to the day.

It was the single most traumatic hair experience I've ever had (well next to when my sister cut my bangs to the scalp when we were kids! She swore it would look good! :slap:)

I was very detailed about what I wanted. Exact measurment with visual aid as the the length I wanted off/how long I wanted my layers. She was overwhelmed. I have a feeling she was a new stylist who didn't want to ask for help. And I could see she was doing a bad job. And what is worse, one of the senior stylists was watching. He was behind her and I could see him in the mirror looking at my hair in disgust. And he didn't even say a word... :rolleyes: I should have taken that as a hint things were going much worse on the back of my head!

Anyway, so I could see I wasn't happy with how the cut was going. I could see that she was very flustered and getting too anxious. But did I speak up? NO!

She finished my hair and I didn't even care to check it out in the mirror. I just paid and left because I was very upset. Got in the car and saw that my bangs were cut to look like a set of stairs... all jagged and ugly. Then I started crying like a baby. Then I got home and saw the bangs were the best part about that cut because they were easy to fix!

I called my mom... she was angry, I was crying. So I called the salon. I asked to speak to the manager but the receptionist decided she could handle any problem. I laid into her. Probably more than she deserved but I was IRRATE!!! and sad! She offered to have me come back and let another stylist fix it. At that point I was so upset because it wasn't like my cut was obvious only if you really looked at it. It looked like a child had cut my hair in the dark with one hand and a pair of safety scissors while under the influence of sedatives. I wish that I was exaggerating, but sadly I'm not. It looked bad. And the other stylists watching this new stylist BUTCHER my hair didn't speak up. I didn't speak up either though :o. But why would I go back to let someone else mess my hair up. I told them that, and let them know they should not be allowing that girl to cut hair! This was on of the high end salons in my resort town!!!

I was so upset I just fixed it myself so it wasn't crooked and uneven with random 2 inch sections that were longer than the rest (seriously!! haircut from hell!) and wore it up for at least a year. Then it had grown out all the uneven-ness and it was long... so I liked it and wanted to keep it... so here I am!

I suggest to speak up. Who cares who you offend. You don't need to go back. And you'll be the one who has to live with the mess they make!

Also if the stylist seems overwhelmed, leave. If they are not calm and in control you will regret it.

My cut was very simple and I took it that she was asking a lot of questions as a good thing. Now I see that she wasn't clear on what I wanted, wasn't sure how to give me what I wanted, and did not have the skill to be handling peoples' hair.

Hindsight is 20/20!

[GlennaGirl]

Not speaking up!!! My hair is so very thin on the ends that it is (rightfully so, based on appearances) assumed to be damaged or weak on the ends, almost inevitably. Any good stylist will look at it and think, "She should get at least two inches off." It's on me to say, "I know my hair is thin, but it's that thin even when it's uper-short...when it's layered, when it's not layered...so it's okay with me that it's thin. Don't try to thicken up the hemline, just take off 1/2 inch" (or whatever I want taken off).

I know my hair by now, and I know that any stylist with at least one working eyeball will think I *should* get a bunch taken off almost no matter what length it starts at, because it *appears* so thin and ick-oid. So I have to speak up; otherwise, I really can't blame the stylist.

[purplebubba]

I'm bumping this thread up that I started because I feel it was making some positive progress without bashing the stylists. Lets see what's new we can learn from. :)

[chen bao jun]

I think I have made the mistake of going to stylists who have no idea how to handle curly hair.
If I ever go to a hairdresser again, I will call first and inquire if they do curly hair or look for recommendations from curly friends. Curly hair really behaves very differently from straight and the only thing most stylists seem to have been trained to do with it is to straighten it, even nowadays. they usually can't even trim it without straightening it first which means a)damage from straightening process and b) no idea what it is going to look like when it reverts back to curly.
the other continuing problem I have with hairdressers is my hair density. If I do ever go to a stylish again I think I would also ask, do you have objections to/mind dealing with very thick hair? Do you charge more if someone has a lot more hair than 'normal'? Doing this before would probably have saved me a lot of miserable experiences where I sat down, started to have my hair done, only to have the stylist stop in the middle of the process and tell me the price was going up, complain or suggest aggressively that I 'needed' to be thinned out.
I don't hate hairdressers at all--but I do fear them, the way some people fear dentists. I am not bashing--there is a lifetime of horrible experiences behind this statement, and as I look back 99% of the problem is that my thick curly hair is either more work or something they have not been trained to deal with, or both.

[HylianGirl]

Ooh, had many, but not all, had some good ones too.

During my teen years I always had hair varying between shoulder and waist, 'cause I always wanted to grow it, but when I went to the hair dresser they cut it back to shoulder and called it a trim x.x

But the worse I would say was after months of bleaching my hair, it eventually became a lot damaged and was difficult to manage, my curls got effed up and it didn't straightened either, because it was so rough. My sister had straight permed her hair, which made her hair easier to manage (for someone like me who back then did not know much about taking care of curls), so I decided to go for it right after dying it back to light brown. The stylist was rude, he touched my hair with disgust because of how dry it was (hey, I knew it was damaged, but that's uncalled for!), and then said it was ok to do it on my hair, and his assistents did it (he didnt do anything). weeks later my hair started falling from too many chemicals. Wonderfull. At least that experience has led me to learn how to actually take care of my hair, still, if my hair coudn't have handled the straight perm, the stylist should have said so.

[Kaelee]

Not walking out when it was clear the stylist A)Told me my hair was in horrible condition when I knew it wasn't (but only after she found out my grandmother had cut it.), B) didn't know what she was doing. (I could explain to my non-stylist grandmother exactly what I wanted done and she executed it perfectly, so I don't know what the problem was.), C) was incredibly rude (stopped to answer the phone- took the phone outside to have a conversation while I was sitting in the chair with half a haircut.) Apparently the conversation she'd had pissed her off...and she proceeded to BUTCHER my hair. I wanted to walk out but I didn't want half a hair cut.

I should have stood up for myself and not taken her BS. Instead I got a horrible cut that I regretted while I was trying to grow it out for at least 6 months. Now I trim my own hair.

ETA: Also, the Joe Dirt mullet I had in high school. Intentionally. :doh:

[jacqueline101]

Let's see I sit straight legs uncrossed looking straight forward. I tell them to dampen my hair it was staticky that day. I told her the same trim as last time. I was given layers and bleach ligh lights she swore I charged on my credit card which I don't own. I tried for 20 mins to tell her this and gave in. She wanted a cash tip I gave a dollar bill.

[Kaelee]

I think I have made the mistake of going to stylists who have no idea how to handle curly hair.
If I ever go to a hairdresser again, I will call first and inquire if they do curly hair or look for recommendations from curly friends. Curly hair really behaves very differently from straight and the only thing most stylists seem to have been trained to do with it is to straighten it, even nowadays. they usually can't even trim it without straightening it first which means a)damage from straightening process and b) no idea what it is going to look like when it reverts back to curly.
the other continuing problem I have with hairdressers is my hair density. If I do ever go to a stylish again I think I would also ask, do you have objections to/mind dealing with very thick hair? Do you charge more if someone has a lot more hair than 'normal'? Doing this before would probably have saved me a lot of miserable experiences where I sat down, started to have my hair done, only to have the stylist stop in the middle of the process and tell me the price was going up, complain or suggest aggressively that I 'needed' to be thinned out.
I don't hate hairdressers at all--but I do fear them, the way some people fear dentists. I am not bashing--there is a lifetime of horrible experiences behind this statement, and as I look back 99% of the problem is that my thick curly hair is either more work or something they have not been trained to deal with, or both.

They did WHAT? I would be appalled. That's probably illegal/bait and switch, isn't it? If not it should be.

[lapushka]

They did WHAT? I would be appalled. That's probably illegal/bait and switch, isn't it? If not it should be.

I've had that happen. In the middle of highlighting my hair, the stylist noticed she had gotten too little bleach to cover my whole head (and it was only partial highlights), so she had to go back and mix some more and start a new tube. She was *not* happy, to say the least.

[jeanniet]

I had my hair cut by a curly hair specialist last week, after not being in a salon (never mind for a curly cut) in about four years. I was apprehensive, to say the least, but he was great. He did pull a little during finger detangling, which I can't really fault him for because finger detangling my hair is tough at the best of times. Other than that, he spent an hour cutting my hair dry, cut exactly as much as I asked him to, and explained everything he was doing. Then he washed my hair and showed me how to style it to bring out the curl effectively. I was very, very pleased!

One thing I didn't realize I was doing during the cut was constantly tilting my head slightly to the left. He had to remind me several times to keep my head straight. I could see where I could end up with a crooked cut if the stylist wasn't paying attention.

[Kaelee]

I've had that happen. In the middle of highlighting my hair, the stylist noticed she had gotten too little bleach to cover my whole head (and it was only partial highlights), so she had to go back and mix some more and start a new tube. She was *not* happy, to say the least.

Yikes! Does that mean some bleach was on your head for extra time?

I really hope she didn't charge you more mid-process though. She can be unhappy all she wants, but it's not YOUR fault that she miscalculated, and you shouldn't be expected to pay more than you agreed to in the beginning.

[purplebubba]

Again, I hope none of our stylist friends feel this is a bashing thread. There are feelings involved. But we can learn from this.

[chen bao jun]

I had my hair cut by a curly hair specialist last week, after not being in a salon (never mind for a curly cut) in about four years. I was apprehensive, to say the least, but he was great. He did pull a little during finger detangling, which I can't really fault him for because finger detangling my hair is tough at the best of times. Other than that, he spent an hour cutting my hair dry, cut exactly as much as I asked him to, and explained everything he was doing. Then he washed my hair and showed me how to style it to bring out the curl effectively. I was very, very pleased!

One thing I didn't realize I was doing during the cut was constantly tilting my head slightly to the left. He had to remind me several times to keep my head straight. I could see where I could end up with a crooked cut if the stylist wasn't paying attention.

sounds so nice. I wish you lived out here so I could ask for a recommendation.

[chen bao jun]

They did WHAT? I would be appalled. That's probably illegal/bait and switch, isn't it? If not it should be.
Has happened to me so often that I can't count the times. Never even thought it might be illegal--I'll check into this. I thought this was something thick haired people just had to deal with.

[lapushka]

Yikes! Does that mean some bleach was on your head for extra time?

I really hope she didn't charge you more mid-process though. She can be unhappy all she wants, but it's not YOUR fault that she miscalculated, and you shouldn't be expected to pay more than you agreed to in the beginning.

Well, she was quite quick with the second tube and the mixing, so... and it came out all right in the end. So, no complaints there, and she didn't charge me extra.... I don't think. So, that's good.

[GrowingOut]

Letting the stylist/my mother do whatever.

It's been ~2 years since I let anyone, including my mother, near my hair. The care and routines of it are all up to me now.

[Kaelee]

Has happened to me so often that I can't count the times. Never even thought it might be illegal--I'll check into this. I thought this was something thick haired people just had to deal with.

Well, if it's discussed in the consultation (which it should be, since it doesn't take a rocket scientist to run their fingers though your hair and say "this is thicker than normal, I'm probably going to need more bleach/color/perm solution/etc.) and agreed upon, I would expect it. It DOES take extra product and extra time, after all. But once you're already in the chair and half done, HELL no. I would NOT be happy if I were sitting there with half done hair and the stylist suddenly tells me she's raising the price on me.

[akilina]

I'm not even going to read this thread because I've see enough negativity as is. It's all good though. Explaining the situation has to happen sometimes and unfortunately around here it's mostly negative experiences.

My biggest is people not being honest about the dye they have used in the past. Many think that since they covered whatever it was up that it just *went away*.

Another huge mistake (and I get the hunch many LHC ers have done this) is going in and saying "just take all the 'dead' off." Or "small trim" Then they are shocked when its so much shorter than they wanted and let's not forget that they never said HOW much they really wanted off.

Mistakes in communication should never happen. It's honestly mostly up to the hair dresser to really make sure that the client and themselves are on the same exact page...even if it takes several minutes to understand each other.
You can't expect normal people who don't know anything about hair dressing what.so.ever. To be able to perfectly say what they want... So you have to consult to figure it out and be on the same page.

The consultation is absolutely the most important. However, clients should be more active in their hair service, as in just the simple act of being present.

If someone is unhappy and didn't get what the wanted you can go ahead and assume its from a poor consultation every time.

Most of you already know about me know that I am speaking from true experience in all of this :p

[Kaelee]

My biggest is people not being honest about the dye they have used in the past. Many think that since they covered whatever it was up that it just *went away*.

:doh: You certainly can't blame a hairdresser for that!


Another huge mistake (and I get the hunch many LHC ers have done this) is going in and saying "just take all the 'dead' off." Or "small trim" Then they are shocked when its so much shorter than they wanted and let's not forget that they never said HOW much they really wanted off.

I actually HAVE done this, but at the time, I wasn't too concerned with how long my hair wound up in the end (and even then, the stylist has always asked "I have to take off about three inches, is that OK?"). I would never do that NOW, but at the time, I don't recall ever being unhappy.

[jeanniet]

I'm not even going to read this thread because I've see enough negativity as is. It's all good though. Explaining the situation has to happen sometimes and unfortunately around here it's mostly negative experiences.

My biggest is people not being honest about the dye they have used in the past. Many think that since they covered whatever it was up that it just *went away*.

Another huge mistake (and I get the hunch many LHC ers have done this) is going in and saying "just take all the 'dead' off." Or "small trim" Then they are shocked when its so much shorter than they wanted and let's not forget that they never said HOW much they really wanted off.

Mistakes in communication should never happen. It's honestly mostly up to the hair dresser to really make sure that the client and themselves are on the same exact page...even if it takes several minutes to understand each other.
You can't expect normal people who don't know anything about hair dressing what.so.ever. To be able to perfectly say what they want... So you have to consult to figure it out and be on the same page.

The consultation is absolutely the most important. However, clients should be more active in their hair service, as in just the simple act of being present.

If someone is unhappy and didn't get what the wanted you can go ahead and assume its from a poor consultation every time.

Most of you already know about me know that I am speaking from true experience in all of this :p

I think it's a good idea for the stylist to clarify what the client means, as in Kaelee's example of saying it would mean taking 3" off. That way, everyone is on the same page. When I went in for my cut, I asked for 4" off, but then he asked me to clarify if I meant 4" off the curly length or actual length. I'm glad he asked, because I hadn't thought about it, and the difference would have been at least 3" because of shrinkage.

[jeanniet]

Has happened to me so often that I can't count the times. Never even thought it might be illegal--I'll check into this. I thought this was something thick haired people just had to deal with.

I've never had it happen to me back in the days when I permed and dyed, and my hair is pretty thick. So either yours is way-out-of-normal super thick, or you're getting taken advantage of.

[starlamelissa]

I haven't had a bad haircut in years. However, I used to. I'd plop into a random (never went to the same salon twice) stylists chair, with picture from one of those hair books in the lobby of a short bob that was pin straight. Geez, with thick wavy hair I wonder why I didn't look like the girl in the book?

I also would sit down and say "do whatever" as a kid. Got some interesting ones that way.

[chen bao jun]

I've never had it happen to me back in the days when I permed and dyed, and my hair is pretty thick. So either yours is way-out-of-normal super thick, or you're getting taken advantage of.
Mine's thick enough that I have only ever met one person with thicker hair in my life in person. I always notice people's hair thickness, for obvious reasons. However, on LHC I have seen people with thicker hair than mine, even with considerably thicker hair (which I had no idea was possible before this forum);you may be one of them.
It's an interesting perspective that I may have been taken advantage of. I'm starting to wonder now, especially after reading Akilina's post about the 'consult'. I actually never had a hairdresser do a consult. They would just sit me in the chair and start. These were not people who charged small amounts of money, either.
This is all very interesting and gives me something to think about. After a while, to be honest, I just started to feel my hair was such a problem that I should shut up and accept whatever happened to me in the hairdresser's chair. It has been very empowering over the past several years to figure out how to do my own hair, with advice from this and other forums, have it look nicer than it's ever looked before and feel that it's healthy and that I don't have to argue with a person who is in a position of power over me, telling me I NEED to do things I really don't want to do to my hair (as in, straighten, cut more than I want, cut a style, whatever). I think this may be something that hairdressers fail to realize. They are the 'experts', often they wear some sort of smock of something, almost like a health professional. you are sitting, they are standing, often your back is turned to the mirror so that you can't see what's going on--you can really feel pretty powerless even if you are a person who speaks up for themselves. Especially if it's an occasion where you really need to look nice (wedding, graduation or something). It can be very, very stressful--like I said, I feel like I'm in the chair for a root canal at the hairdresser's--it's always startling to me when people say that they go there to be 'pampered' and to 'relax.' I've always just hoped to get out of there and not be crying, feeling butchered and ugly.
The most memorable time that I went recently about two years ago, she blew dry me with a comb attachment in the blowdryer--the attachment was wrecked, at least half the teeth snapped off. I was sitting there, teeth snapping off the thing and flying around, I felt horrible and although she was very polite, I felt obliged to tip extra to pay for the wrecked blowdryer attachment. This was before LHC and I didn't know NOT to blowdry--I was having my hair blow dried and flat ironed and as it turned out, trimmed (I didn't want to , but she insisted I needed it). the teeth flew all around, then it was this huge production to flat iron my hair--two people, two flatirons on high heat, working at it grimly for one hour.
After that, she used to blowdry me without the attachment, but kind of drag through my hair with a brush as she blew dried. Which HURT. Going to the hairdresser has always hurt, that's another thing.
I am so glad to be on LHC and to have realized that I don't need to have my hair blowdried, ever, that I don't need to have it flatironed and that when I don't use sulfate shampoo, its still very thick hair, but I don't get the nightmare tangles and that when I do almost nothing to it (yay for benign neglect) my hair looks and behaves wonderfully even though there's a lot of it. But how can a hairdresser benign neglect? They get paid to DO things, that is the point of them. And I do understand that they need to make a living. I'm not trying to be mean, here. But it just has never never worked for me personally.

[Kaelee]

Mine's thick enough that I have only ever met one person with thicker hair in my life in person. I always notice people's hair thickness, for obvious reasons. However, on LHC I have seen people with thicker hair than mine, even with considerably thicker hair (which I had no idea was possible before this forum);you may be one of them.
It's an interesting perspective that I may have been taken advantage of. I'm starting to wonder now, especially after reading Akilina's post about the 'consult'. I actually never had a hairdresser do a consult. They would just sit me in the chair and start. These were not people who charged small amounts of money, either.
This is all very interesting and gives me something to think about. After a while, to be honest, I just started to feel my hair was such a problem that I should shut up and accept whatever happened to me in the hairdresser's chair. It has been very empowering over the past several years to figure out how to do my own hair, with advice from this and other forums, have it look nicer than it's ever looked before and feel that it's healthy and that I don't have to argue with a person who is in a position of power over me, telling me I NEED to do things I really don't want to do to my hair (as in, straighten, cut more than I want, cut a style, whatever). I think this may be something that hairdressers fail to realize. They are the 'experts', often they wear some sort of smock of something, almost like a health professional. you are sitting, they are standing, often your back is turned to the mirror so that you can't see what's going on--you can really feel pretty powerless even if you are a person who speaks up for themselves. Especially if it's an occasion where you really need to look nice (wedding, graduation or something). It can be very, very stressful--like I said, I feel like I'm in the chair for a root canal at the hairdresser's--it's always startling to me when people say that they go there to be 'pampered' and to 'relax.' I've always just hoped to get out of there and not be crying, feeling butchered and ugly.
The most memorable time that I went recently about two years ago, she blew dry me with a comb attachment in the blowdryer--the attachment was wrecked, at least half the teeth snapped off. I was sitting there, teeth snapping off the thing and flying around, I felt horrible and although she was very polite, I felt obliged to tip extra to pay for the wrecked blowdryer attachment. This was before LHC and I didn't know NOT to blowdry--I was having my hair blow dried and flat ironed and as it turned out, trimmed (I didn't want to , but she insisted I needed it). the teeth flew all around, then it was this huge production to flat iron my hair--two people, two flatirons on high heat, working at it grimly for one hour.
After that, she used to blowdry me without the attachment, but kind of drag through my hair with a brush as she blew dried. Which HURT. Going to the hairdresser has always hurt, that's another thing.
I am so glad to be on LHC and to have realized that I don't need to have my hair blowdried, ever, that I don't need to have it flatironed and that when I don't use sulfate shampoo, its still very thick hair, but I don't get the nightmare tangles and that when I do almost nothing to it (yay for benign neglect) my hair looks and behaves wonderfully even though there's a lot of it. But how can a hairdresser benign neglect? They get paid to DO things, that is the point of them. And I do understand that they need to make a living. I'm not trying to be mean, here. But it just has never never worked for me personally.

Yikes!!! I have never gone to a salon to be "pampered" either (but then, when I went, I went to Great Clips :lol:). The exception will be when I reach my goal, I want to treat myself to a day at an MGM salon. :agree:

It sounds like you've just found horrible hairdressers. :( Before any sort of coloring etc. there should be a consult where they check your hair's health, thickness, hairtype, what you want done, talk about pricing and all of that. It could happen before the actual appointment or during the appointment before they actually start working on your hair, but it should definitely happen. I wouldn't let anyone touch my hair with chemicals if it DIDN'T.

[picklepie]

Wow, chen bao jun, I never had it put into words for me-- visiting the salon (when I did it as an adolescent, with my extremely thick, long, curly hair) was not just humiliating ("omg, look at how much hair she has, will you come look at this?? Aaaa! This is going to take forever!"), but physically very painful, as they combed through it again and again with a fine-toothed comb. No wonder I started cutting it myself! How do people with thick, curly hair manage the detangling part of a salon trim, without pain? How can I communicate to a stylist about what to do? Is it weird to do it yourself? I'd love to try again some time and have a good experience.

[jeanniet]

I don't know how you get a stylist to detangle thick, curly hair without any discomfort. The guy who did my cut finger detangled and it still pulled. I wouldn't say it was painful, but at times it was uncomfortable (I do have a pretty sensitive scalp), and he was reasonably careful. At that point he was only working to separate the curls so he could cut them. I was asked to go in without product so he could see the natural curl pattern, and my hair was already getting pretty wild. Most stylists would have screamed when they saw it, so I was kind of apologetic, and he just said, "No, this is perfect!" Made me laugh.

A long time ago I was told my hair was coarse. Recently I've thought that couldn't be right, because I have different textures, so when I got my cut I asked him if the texture really was coarse. He said it was F to M, just a lot of it. So that was a error that I've been carrying with me for a lot of years.

[kidari]

My mistake I made was not understanding what kind of hair I had and asking for something that was near impossible. I would take in a picture of a girl who had completely different hair texture, thickness, color, everything and ask for that cut subconsciously wanting to look almost exactly like her. Good stylists would explain to me that my hair is so different from the person in the picture that it would be too much maintenance and even then it wouldn't look the same.

[FireFromWithin]

I think my biggest mistake was (apart from bleaching) just telling hairdressers to take off the split ends. It would nearly always result in losing all my growth as apposed to a dusting which didn't really lose me any length. I think a lot of it has to do with not realising there was an alternative. I've not had an upsetting haircut for a while now, but I do mostly trim at home much to my mothers chargrin (maybe because she knows a salon will cut it shorter again maybe). And my other mistake was allowing blow drying even though I never blow dry at home, these days I just let it airdry if I go to the salon.

I do like to have my hair played with so going to the salon is a bit of pampering for me, especially when I used to have wet cuts so they would wash my hair. Then again my hair was so damaged back then that I looked better when I left anyway.

[Ashenputtel]

I'm also recovering from two bad cuts. I had mid-back hair and now I'm back to APL. It's going to take over a year to fix that. I let the hairdresser convince me that my hair needed to be thinned out an I ended up with the mushroom effect. The next hair dresser made it even worst. I should have put my feet down and tell them that I love long thick hair. I had to cut two more inches myself of the buttom layer because it ended up looking so stringy.

I don't know what I'm going to do next, I'm now in Belgium and I don't speak any dutch I hope in a couple of months I will be able to make myself understood or I will bring my BF as a translator. I'm so depressed, two years of growing gone.

[Neneka]

I have made mistakes. Every time I went to the hair dresser before starting to cut it myself I felt awkward and embarrassed and it was really hard for me to tell what I wanted. I always felt like I am stupid and know nothing even if the hair dresser was friendly and polite. Then I didn't say anything when they thinned out my hair and I didn't say clearly that I don't style my hair or use styling products. After my hair was thinned to nothingness I started to say clearly that I don't want it thinned they stopped doing it.

[thenewstephie]

The way that I've found that helps in communicating how much I want to trim is to literally show them with my fingers the amount I want taken off and then ask them to show me with their fingers exactly how much they are taking off. I also remember to tell them that I am actively trying to grow my hair long and under no circumstances want any more taken off than the amount they just showed me or I will be expecting a refund. That usually works for me. I also always bring pictures. I also tell them to be extremely gentle with my hair, no shampoo, blowdryers, or leave in products please and I thoroughly detangle my own hair before I enter the chair. This helps them out a lot.

[spidermom]

I think that we have to remember also that not every stylist is good at every aspect of her job. I asked for a certain shape of bangs yesterday, and I love my stylist - she's awesome - but what I walked out with is not at all what I asked for. I know she wasn't trying to sabotage me, so I can only conclude she didn't really know how to cut what I asked for. No big; bangs seem to grow really fast.

[chen bao jun]

Wow, chen bao jun, I never had it put into words for me-- visiting the salon (when I did it as an adolescent, with my extremely thick, long, curly hair) was not just humiliating ("omg, look at how much hair she has, will you come look at this?? Aaaa! This is going to take forever!"), but physically very painful, as they combed through it again and again with a fine-toothed comb. No wonder I started cutting it myself! How do people with thick, curly hair manage the detangling part of a salon trim, without pain? How can I communicate to a stylist about what to do? Is it weird to do it yourself? I'd love to try again some time and have a good experience.
Thanks for your post, picklepie. It's nice to feel I'm not crazy. Maybe we'll have some good luck sometime with stylists. I was grateful for Kaelee's advice, which might definitely help. And interested in what jeanniet had to say. Possibly 'discomfort' for some would be 'pain' for me as I'm very tenderheaded.
thanks to the OP for starting this thread as its nice to be able to express the problem without being made to feel like either I'm bashing innocent stylists, or else like hairdressers-are-for-everyone-except-people-with-thick-hair. And again, its so great to have a site like this to learn how to do my own hair and not feel stuck going to where I am truly miserable.
I do love having thick curls, by the way and don't want to change my hairtype or anything like that. Convenience isn't everything!

[battles]

I've made plenty of mistakes when having my hair cut. Luckily, my stylist is amazing and pays attention. :) She frequently reminds me to stop tilting my head. If I ask her to trim what needs to be removed, she never takes more than an inch and only if I'm okay with it.

I do need to wear contact lenses to my appointments. I really don't like not being able to see what's going on, but I'm usually very pleased with the results.

I have had one or two cuts with her that I wasn't thrilled with, but I do realize that I didn't explain what I wanted well enough. I think my hair might not have been well suited for the style also..

[purplebubba]

Thanks again everyone. I see plenty to learn from.

This also helps me since I am going to be restarting cosmetology school soon. I'd like to also teach and pass on things. So it'd be nice to know some of the issues to avoid.

[mzBANGBANG]

the biggest mistake I make....is not checking for mistakes before I leave. I had bangs cut and when I got home, I had to finish trimming them.

[starlamelissa]

Someone asked how other curlies get through a detangling session at the salon? I go in with squeaky clean hair that is dry and detangled already.There is no flipping way I am getting my hair matted up in the sink and then be given a fine tooth comb or vent brush to try and work out my wet knots in a timely manner. Ouch. And I need fistfuls of conditioner, not a squirt.

im a wavy. 2c I think.

[Intransigentia]

This is a quick and easy hint for getting a better hemline: if your hair comes below the back of the barber chair, ask to have your cut done while you're standing up instead. That way the back of the chair won't distort where the hair will hang on your actual body.

Also, my mistake with salon colour: I thought it was like doing it yourself, where it would come out somewhere between what showed on the bottle, and your natural. I didn't realise in salons you point to a colour, and that's the actual colour they make your hair. I got some rather, shall we say, intensely dramatic copper/blonde highlights that way once. Lesson learned.

[jeanniet]

Someone asked how other curlies get through a detangling session at the salon? I go in with squeaky clean hair that is dry and detangled already.There is no flipping way I am getting my hair matted up in the sink and then be given a fine tooth comb or vent brush to try and work out my wet knots in a timely manner. Ouch. And I need fistfuls of conditioner, not a squirt.

im a wavy. 2c I think.

This doesn't work if you're getting a curly cut. Since they cut it dry, they want to see your curl pattern, so you can't comb it out. Most of them want to see your hair without product, too, which is where I had the problem. If I have gel or something in my hair, there's fewer random hairs trying to go visit their neighbors in the next curl. That's what he was detangling--or rather, he was separating the curls so he could cut them. The wash came after the cut. The only time he used a comb was when my hair was wet and soaked in conditioner, and he was really gentle with that. Now that I've actually had the cut and know how it works, next time I'll probably use a conditioner/water mix to smooth my hair out and pop the curls a little to make it easier for him (and me). I'm still kind of learning how my hair curls anyway, so it's all been a learning experience. If I comb it out, it loses the strong curl pattern and looks much wavier.

[BlazingHeart]

When you have a stylist you trust who knows your hair, listen to them when they tell you that a cut you want won't work with your hair. That was among the worst cuts I have ever had. It was the mid-90s and I wanted the Rachel cut. Did not go according to plan with my uber-thick hair. I looked like an 80s country singer - huge poofy volume. I was back as soon as she could squeeze me in to have it all chopped off at the length of the shortest layer.

[jeanniet]

When you have a stylist you trust who knows your hair, listen to them when they tell you that a cut you want won't work with your hair. That was among the worst cuts I have ever had. It was the mid-90s and I wanted the Rachel cut. Did not go according to plan with my uber-thick hair. I looked like an 80s country singer - huge poofy volume. I was back as soon as she could squeeze me in to have it all chopped off at the length of the shortest layer.

Along the same line, don't let a stylist talk you into a cut that you know won't work within your style skills or interest. I've had so many cuts that looked great when I left the salon--because the stylist essentially beat my hair into submission--but couldn't be duplicated because I'm a minimal effort person in regards to my hair. If you want to ask the stylist what cut would work for you, make sure you also give them the information they need to give you a realistic cut. Tell them you don't flat iron, use hair spray, silicones, whatever. Tell them if you only want to spend 10 minutes a day on your hair. Tell them if you are a clod and can't do styling. A good stylist won't give you a style that's beyond your capability to maintain.

[Altocumulus]

When a stylist does something that I like, I ask what the technique is called, so I can ask for it again next time. My satisfaction with haircuts improved considerably when I learned that the thing I like done to the sides of my hair is called "angling", not "layering"!

[Jeleebaby]

When I was training we were basically taught that you should (nicely) guide the client. The responsibility for any style lays with the stylist. It's down to the stylist to ensure the client is sat straight, that they are informed as to why a certain style won't work for them and offer alternatives and to NEVER assume that somebody truly understands stylist speak. A little longer spent on consultation can avoid all sorts of mishaps. I would always see a client with their hair dry before starting a process and then reasses the hair wet to see growth patterns and all the weird little things it does when dry. Hate seeing a client go straight to washing before consultation.

At the end of the day, the stylist is the knowledgable one, and its your reputation in the line. Whether you are right or wrong in giving them what asked for ( however ill advised) its your reputation you are protecting.

[purplebubba]

When I was training we were basically taught that you should (nicely) guide the client. The responsibility for any style lays with the stylist. It's down to the stylist to ensure the client is sat straight, that they are informed as to why a certain style won't work for them and offer alternatives and to NEVER assume that somebody truly understands stylist speak. A little longer spent on consultation can avoid all sorts of mishaps. I would always see a client with their hair dry before starting a process and then reasses the hair wet to see growth patterns and all the weird little things it does when dry. Hate seeing a client go straight to washing before consultation.

At the end of the day, the stylist is the knowledgable one, and its your reputation in the line. Whether you are right or wrong in giving them what asked for ( however ill advised) its your reputation you are protecting.

Good teaching and glad that you do it that way. Its those little things that seem so big.
At my recent trim I walked in, said I wanted a trim. She led me to the shampoo bowl. Said take off my glasses. Never asked me a question about how long I'd been growing or anything. Got to the chair. Asked me how much. I said go 6 inches or a comb length. She cut the guide and didn't show me. Had I cared about it being exact I'd have said something. She did a nice job. Just wasn't a very interactive experience. I had more words about going to school with the stylist next to me than I did my own stylist.

[Khiwanean]

Last time I got my hair cut I asked for a u-shape, forgetting that a u-shaped hemline by general hairstylist definition is really more like a curved blunt cut - it still has corners. I got exactly what I asked for, which wasn't what I wanted. Next time I go in for a trim I'll probably just draw what I want: a deep u/rounded v-cut.

[truepeacenik]

Well, while many, many people will take a photo in that won't work on their hair, is it MY, untrained fault? Or a stylist communication failure?
Are clients so few and far between that a stylist has to say, yeah, yeah, and damn the torpedoes?

{The one time I took a photo in, the stylist laughed, pointed out that I had too much hair and showed me a similar haired model. I got the Rudy Sarzo, not the Randy Rhodes. (Yeah, yeah..it was the 80s. What did I know from stupid hair?) had she just cut what I'd asked, without saying, look, your hair will be to heavy for that, I'd would just have had another "bad cut." Really a bad experience. Instead I rocked heavy metal hair for a few weeks until gravity and growth won.}

That's like me taking on a sports injury in the first 24 hours. Wrong. It's like accepting a client who wants really deep pressure, pressure I don't deliver. I provide deep tissue, but my pressure goes up to medium-deep.
What's the difference?
Well, under the photo that won't work scenario, doesn't matter.
I can't blame a client for not knowing the intricacies. Unless they are a fellow therapist.
Deep tissue is a technique for working muscles closest to the skeleton. In some places muscles can be three or four deep. I'm not going to use deep tissue on the frontalis. (Forehead.ouch)

Heck, I just figured out the ponytail circumference measure. I thought I had thinner hair because I was measuring the diameter!
I should know this. But I didn't.
A stylist should. it's what they trained for.
Just like I have to tell people I can't massage the injury site until a doctor signs off, a stylist should use the education and experience s/he has to come up with a workable solution.
And sometimes a client walks away. It happens.

[Seeshami]

I walked through the door with pictures (similar hair types) and a detailed explanation instead of waiting and going to my cousin's salon when it opened. No one cuts my hair any more unless they are a member of my family and know that my hair is sacred now.

[akilina]

Thanks again everyone. I see plenty to learn from.

This also helps me since I am going to be restarting cosmetology school soon. I'd like to also teach and pass on things. So it'd be nice to know some of the issues to avoid.

Nice! Honestly being here and hearing experiences has really helped me, I feel! As corny as that sounds....
It helps to hear people's bad experiences so I can strive to never do what was done to them. Also it helps me to be here so I can strive to gain trust from any local long hair client I may pick up. It's very comforting to clients when they know they feel confident in your ability to deliver.
Learning from experience, hearing what other lhc-ers have great success with, and experimenting with all alternative and more natural hair care has greatly boosted my client/stylist relationship!! People generally really love hearing about things that will truly help your hairs health and not just a product that fakes hair health. It's very fascinating to them and I think they like it because its very realistic.

[purplebubba]

Nice! Honestly being here and hearing experiences has really helped me, I feel! As corny as that sounds....
It helps to hear people's bad experiences so I can strive to never do what was done to them. Also it helps me to be here so I can strive to gain trust from any local long hair client I may pick up. It's very comforting to clients when they know they feel confident in your ability to deliver.
Learning from experience, hearing what other lhc-ers have great success with, and experimenting with all alternative and more natural hair care has greatly boosted my client/stylist relationship!! People generally really love hearing about things that will truly help your hairs health and not just a product that fakes hair health. It's very fascinating to them and I think they like it because its very realistic.

When I started this thread there was another thread asking everyone here to please stop bashing the stylists. And I can understand how they felt. Even if there's 10,000 members here and we all posted a bad experience and blamed a stylist its still possible that there are 10 million good stylists out there who do a great job and listen. Trust me I didn't like hearing about my grocery store being small and old. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just stocked the shelves and wrapped the meat. I can't work for someone else and I can't boss them unless I am the boss.

I too was and am still basically a bandwagon stylist basher. I'm sorry for it but it happens. I'm in another thread right now that was started yesterday. I can't help it. I care for the person who is here posting that they're hurt.

So I made this thread so we all can learn. No matter who's fault it is, we can all learn for the better and share it.

[pepperminttea]

Never agree to a technique when you don't know what it is (in my case, feathering). It was initially cute but very irritating to grow out, just wish I'd known what I was in for instead of blindly agreeing when the stylist suggested it. I'm bad at saying no.

[Kaelee]

When I started this thread there was another thread asking everyone here to please stop bashing the stylists. And I can understand how they felt. Even if there's 10,000 members here and we all posted a bad experience and blamed a stylist its still possible that there are 10 million good stylists out there who do a great job and listen. Trust me I didn't like hearing about my grocery store being small and old. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just stocked the shelves and wrapped the meat. I can't work for someone else and I can't boss them unless I am the boss.

I too was and am still basically a bandwagon stylist basher. I'm sorry for it but it happens. I'm in another thread right now that was started yesterday. I can't help it. I care for the person who is here posting that they're hurt.

So I made this thread so we all can learn. No matter who's fault it is, we can all learn for the better and share it.

The problem is probably most of us here have a really bad stylist experience...even if we DON'T mean to come off as "all stylists are bad!" (I certainly don't!) it can sound that way when you're still ticked off from the horrible hair-butchering you received from ONE bad stylist.

Akilina, I wish you lived near me! :D I'd come to your for trims ANY time (and Ultrabella, wherever you are, but I'm no where near Montana!)

[purplebubba]

The problem is probably most of us here have a really bad stylist experience...even if we DON'T mean to come off as "all stylists are bad!" (I certainly don't!) it can sound that way when you're still ticked off from the horrible hair-butchering you received from ONE bad stylist.

Akilina, I wish you lived near me! :D I'd come to your for trims ANY time (and Ultrabella, wherever you are, but I'm no where near Montana!)

Its hard to get words right when emotions get fired up. I'm still fired up over things that happened to my hair 30 years ago. It was never a stylists fault with me. I have been trying for 13 years to make a directory to help people find good stylists. I've been trying to get people to remember the good ones by name so they can recommend them by name and not just salon. Its not about a long hair friendly salon. Its about meeting that friend who will care for your hair and you that you feel comfortable recommending.

If any of you are in the Flint, MI area I watched Tina at the Abby Rose salon give a lady a tiny trim and barely anything was coming off. It was a lady with neck length bob type hair but still she barely cut anything and changed the shape slightly. And they have the larger round punch bowl style shampoo bowl. They don't advertise themselves as a long hair salon but these ladies are nice. I had my nails done there. They have a Facebook page and I took some of the recent pictures of the interior.

https://www.facebook.com/abbyrosesalonandboutique
Note: I mentioned it to Tina about how people would love a trimmer like her. And that people travel hours and miles to go to the LH salons.
I didn't see the other stylists do hair but Tina is a nice lady who will listen. And they all rock at nails and work as a team.

[Kaelee]

Its hard to get words right when emotions get fired up. I'm still fired up over things that happened to my hair 30 years ago. It was never a stylists fault with me. I have been trying for 13 years to make a directory to help people find good stylists. I've been trying to get people to remember the good ones by name so they can recommend them by name and not just salon. Its not about a long hair friendly salon. Its about meeting that friend who will care for your hair and you that you feel comfortable recommending.

If any of you are in the Flint, MI area I watched Tina at the Abby Rose salon give a lady a tiny trim and barely anything was coming off. It was a lady with neck length bob type hair but still she barely cut anything and changed the shape slightly. And they have the larger round punch bowl style shampoo bowl. They don't advertise themselves as a long hair salon but these ladies are nice. I had my nails done there. They have a Facebook page and I took some of the recent pictures of the interior.

https://www.facebook.com/abbyrosesalonandboutique
Note: I mentioned it to Tina about how people would love a trimmer like her. And that people travel hours and miles to go to the LH salons.
I didn't see the other stylists do hair but Tina is a nice lady who will listen. And they all rock at nails and work as a team.

Oh, I can only think of ONE bad haircut experience that was the stylist's fault. I'm still PO'd about it. :( I'm not angry about the others, most of them were a) done by my mother (lol) or b) what I wanted because I got a wild bee sideways up my butt and decided I wanted a mullet. Not just any mullet, a 1-inch on top, SL in the back, stick straight, Joe-Dirt, mullet (I don't have any pictures of that horror, sadly. :lol: I would like just one for old time's sake. And yes I would post it, for you all's collective amusement. ;))

I only recently started caring about my hair. Before that, it was a free-for-all.

[purplebubba]

I meant to say that it was issues with my mother and grandmother that caused my grief, not the stylists. Back when I wasn't allowed to say what I wanted.

[leslissocool]

I meant to say that it was issues with my mother and grandmother that caused my grief, not the stylists. Back when I wasn't allowed to say what I wanted.

Actually this is me too. I do think though that's the same reason why bad haircuts got to me, if I do it and it's bad at least *I* had control over it.


I wasn't allowed to have long hair, my family had pixie cuts and didn't even buy conditioner. That was the most traumatizing experience. I've made an extra effort to allow my kids to pick (from a contained option list) what to wear and what hair they want. I think the reason why I only wear black and feel horrible wearing anything else is because of how I felt not being in control of my self.

It's hard to trust anyone with my hair, that's why I haven't gone to a salon in such a long time. I'd rather do it myself.

[purplebubba]

Feye's trimming methods and Youtube videos are what prevented more of these stories. Long hair forums were a place to vent and still are. But before then you held it inside.

Freedom doesn't change the past. But it gives you the choice and power.

[jeanniet]

I think often the bad salon experience is as much the client's fault as the stylist's, if not more. I know that's been true for me, mostly because I didn't understand my hair. To some extent, I think stylists are between a rock and a hard place. If they give the client what they want, it's not always going to turn out well, but if they don't, then the client is going to be angry. I also think it's hard when people don't have a relationship with a stylist. If someone's been doing your hair for years, it may be easier for them to say, "Hey, I can do this for you, but I don't think it will suit you. How about this instead? The other issue is that everyone remembers bad over good. I've had lots of cuts in my lifetime, but I only remember a handful of good ones and a few bad ones. If you've gotten a thousand pretty decent cuts and one really bad cut, which one are you going to talk about?

[Malibu Barbie]

Well I normally have great things to say about stylist. My roommates were stylist, they owned a salon. Some of my best friends were stylist. I had the best stylist for the last 20 years.

I moved recently and It has been a real eye opener for me.

I'm now on the third one, I think he's going to work out at least he has so far.

1. I won't let anyone comb out my hair anymore but me.
2. I went to consultation for all of them, with pictures of my hair and how it was done with recipes for the color mix (The kind of product) how to apply and how long. This didn't matter they did their own thing.
3. One told me I knew too much about hair for my own good, after I had a rash breakout all over my face a long my entire hairline. They used heat to process, I told them this had never been done before and didn't need to be done. She insisted it was the only way. Three months later a little less hair and dr. visits its healing. When I came in to show them, she said heat was the only way. Put some cortison on it. And then she said it was taking too long to do my hair we need to charge more money. I left to find another stylist.
4.Owner of another salon told me she specializes in long hair. After I told her I was allergic to Aveeda she proceeded in washing my hair with Aveeda and then, proceeded to take a round brush to my wet hair and start ripping. I asked her, "You have never done hair this long in your life have you?" She answered, "No", I told her I needed a trim to cut it in a straight line across "Blunt" I showed her how much. She said ok. She then said, "She likes a u better and took off my sides."
I had a consultation with her also.
6. The new one has cut my hair and listened very well. I give a stylist three times with the color, it takes time for them to learn your hair. So far so good. I feel a little bad for him because these other women messed up my color so bad, all I had were pictures showing him what it looked like. And of course he was afraid because I had been through so much.

I now bring my own products, and my own bone comb. If the stylist gets mad, so what.
I was told by many of my stylist friends this is not a bad thing. I know how much to pull on my hair and they don't get us long hairs all the time. I also won't let them blow dry anymore. Most don't have the arms for it and just get the brush stuck. It's ok, I also have them adjust the price because of this. Even if you discuss everything up front, in the back room mixing the color they can do what they want. I found a salon that only carries my brand of color and the rash is going away. Some colorist have never used the technique my stylist did. Instead of knowing what they were capable of they saw dollar signs and said ok. Then getting into it, they realize it was very hard and just wanted it over with.

This has been frustrating, it comes down to the people and how much they really value their work. I feel knowing their capabilities is the first step to a good hairdresser.