You should...

[yldchyld]

I have the same two things said to me over and over when I have my hair down, or more usually in a braid. (Besides, of course..the usual "Wow, you have really beautiful hair" Which, I like hearing naturally.)

The first one is not annoying, it's just that people seem to take my hair as their personal property.
You know the drill...
"Don't EVER cut your hair!"

What? It's not on YOUR head making you sweat bullets in the summer!! It's not that I want to cut my hair, but they have no idea the work that goes into having very long hair. Okay, I retract the former...the statement IS annoying.

The second statement and the most irritating, intrusive and un-asked for advice ever concerning my hair.
"you should donate it to Locks of Love"

If you say that you like your hair and don't wish to cut it they act like you are some sort of monster not wanting to give your hair to children with cancer.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with Bald. I LIKE Bald. Just not on me as I would end up looking like an extra on a "Women Behind Bars" movie.

[Kirin]

Many may not like what I have to say about this, but the donation thing comes up a lot.

Its a trend I see more and more of, because society wise, anything we do specifically for ourselves is like some heracy of pride or self worth. We are, more and more assumed to do things only to the benefit of someone less fortunate, and give up all rights on self focus and self pleasureable activities.

I've recently been asked if when my hair gets long if I will donate it to Locks of Love........ hell-O? I'm barely passed shoulder length.

I now have formulated three "come backs" for this comment. It is making people think twice, I tell you.

"No, I'm not, I'm growing my hair so I can find employment in the sex industry to cater to hair ******ers.".

"Well, I have my organ donor's card, so I figure this part I will keep since it won't save a life".

"Oh, I couldn't do that....... or I'd never make it to the length I want to live out my Lady Godiva fantasy".

[havana86]

Not that anyone has told me never to cut mine, but if they did I would take it as a great compliment:-D I'm sure if you take it the wrong way it would seem like they are claiming your hair in some way, and putting boundaries on you. But my interpretation is that they're telling you you're GORGEOUS, and your hair is utter beauty, and we need more beauty in this world! So please don't take it away from us :D

[Euphony]

Ugh yes, fortunately I've only had to deal with it once. I was on my way to an LHC meet so my hair was down, I had to get gas. So I'm standing there getting gas when this woman with a pixie says something about my hair being beautiful, I thanked her. Then she said do you donate it? I said no and went in to a rundown as to why I won't donate, after a poor glassy eyed woman with a pixie got back in her car she probably figured she'd never mention LOL to a longhair again.

[Saranne772]

LOL Euphony!! That is funny! And a great way to deal with it ;)

I get the never cut often- Ive even had it from hairdressers before now.

My Grandmother BLACKMAILS me into not cutting my hair (practically) not that I would anyway! LOL`

[Unofficial_Rose]

[quote=Kirin;132381]Many may not like what I have to say about this, but the donation thing comes up a lot.

I"No, I'm not, I'm growing my hair so I can find employment in the sex industry to cater to hair ******ers.".

Hahaha! That is aces :spitting:thankyou for making me laugh out loud.

[lora410]

I don't get many compliments but if a female or male told me to donate to LOL I would ask them when they plan to grow for LOL which btw get sold and DON'T goto kids with cancer. The second one i'd just be like yeah ok whateve:lol:

[CountessDeJager]

"Don't EVER cut your hair!"

I've always thought of that one as a poorly phrased compliment but I'm with you, yldchyld. It doesn't matter if they are advocating going short or keeping it long, telling is just a weird attitude to take even if it is unintentional.


"No, I'm not, I'm growing my hair so I can find employment in the sex industry to cater to hair ******ers."

Oh Kirin, you absolutely must tell us how it goes if you ever use this one! :inlove: You might also speculate with the would be do-gooder about who would pay the best prices for extremely long hair donations that are too valuable to be cut into wig lengths. :eyebrows:

[mommy101405]

"No, I'm not, I'm growing my hair so I can find employment in the sex industry to cater to hair ******ers.".



LMAO. That's great!

[Lady Godiva]

For "You should..." this or that, a great reply is "You should keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself." :twocents:

'Course, that's sinking to their level, but if said in the appropriate tone of voice, it sure gets the point across. ;)

It really does matter how something is said. Often simple exuberance is at the root of many people's verbal faux pas, as people just don't see hair that's truly long in western society. They don't know what to think, so blurt out based on the most common longhair-related matter that they can think of. I can't blame them entirely.

It's the genuinely rude people who deserve a pointed reply. I have made comments along the lines of: "I suggest researching charities before recommending them to others," or "I'll refrain from suggesting what I think you should do with your hair." :)

[burns_erin]

I have actually known a couple of kids who got wigs, for free, from locks of love. They had alopecia though, not cancer. But I do know how frustrating it is when people say that. I have donated a couple of times because in south east texas where it is a million degrees, I periodically get frustrated and hack all my hair off, at which point I donate it. But until I am ready to get rid of MY hair, people aways drove me nuts. I usually tell women, I'll donate 9-10 inches of mine, if you'll shave your head bald and donate yours.

[Kleis]

"Oh, I can't! I'm planning on donating all my clothes to kids with cancer and I'll need some way to cover up the publicly illegal areas."

Actually, coming up with (and using) responses to the LoL comments can be quite amusing. I have an entire repertoire.

[spidermom]

Respond with the short, sweet, and simple truth. A lot of times people are trying to make conversation rather than telling you what to do.

The only time I heard "are you growing it to donate it?", I responded "I'm growing it to enjoy it." End of that particular conversation.

I consider "don't ever cut your hair!" to mean "your hair is beautiful." So I would respond as though to a compliment, maybe say something like "I'm glad you like it," or "I'll have to remember that." I'll cut it if and when I want to, but I wouldn't say anything rude.

[FrannyG]

I would never get the LOL remark because I colour my hair, so it's ineligible anyway, so that's one that I never have to deal with.

More often than not, any "shoulds" come in the form of the idea that I "should" have a more age-appropriate haircut, i.e. short hair.

Even at my current length, which is about an inch longer than my profile pic, my hair is considered quite long compared with other women my age whom I know in real life.

[AJoifulNoise]

"Oh, I can't! I'm planning on donating all my clothes to kids with cancer and I'll need some way to cover up the publicly illegal areas."

That's the best thing I've heard all day! :lol:

[Islandgrrl]

I try really hard to view hair related comments that I receive in the best possible way, unless it's obvious that they're not meant in a nice way. And most of them *are* meant in a nice way, even if they come out badly.

LoL comments, however just tick me off and every single time I get a comment related to donating my hair I reply with "Why?" It totally catches people off guard, and they usually hem and haw and can't really come up with a good reason.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw the title of this thread was, "You should...mind your own business!!!"

[Euphony]

I would never get the LOL remark because I colour my hair, so it's ineligible anyway, so that's one that I never have to deal with.

More often than not, any "shoulds" come in the form of the idea that I "should" have a more age-appropriate haircut, i.e. short hair.

Even at my current length, which is about an inch longer than my profile pic, my hair is considered quite long compared with other women my age whom I know in real life.
Naw I bet when you get some more length on it you'll get some LOL questions. I can't donate either due to the henna, and I'm sure it's obvious that is not my natural color.

[Gladtobemom]

Some people ask me if it's really my hair :confused:, which always seems weird to me and I usually just reply in the affirmative.

When my hair is down in a braid, I usually get no comments at all, unless it's another long hair. Sometimes people are just surprised that my hair is so long because they've seen me with it up most of the time.

When it's down, usually the day after washing and I plopped so that it looks very curly. All bets are off--people say all sorts of weird things.

Your hair is so pretty (or some other simple complement). These are nice and feel like an old fashioned warm fuzzy. This is, by far, the most common.

But some are puzzling.
At church last week, "Oh, she said you had hair, but I passed you by because I didn't see it" (What to say to that!)

[Kirin]

ROFL when I was younger, and before the cigarette guy behind me incident and my hair was down to my knees, I did get the "Is it real?". comments......

My response was always one of two:

"No, its memorex" or,
"No its a figment of your imagination".

[insideitall]

A coworker asked me if I was going to donate. She said "look, you can do it twice!" and I said "yeah, but then there wouldn't be enough for me."

I only knew one person who actually grew her hair specifically to donate. Her hair grew insanely fast and she did it twice in two years. Everyone else I've known has just wanted to cut it off and figured "give to a good cause." It's like donating your haven't-worn-in-five-years clothing to the salvation army, it's not like you're actually giving anything up if you didn't want it in the first place..

I don't get annoyed if people ask if I'm going to donate, because how would they know? I do get annoyed if people say I should, though. But on the flip side, I do take the "don't ever cut it" as a huge compliment.. they just don't have what it takes to have the long locks themselves! :ponder:

Oh and I didn't know there was some sketchiness having to do with LoL. I'm going to look that up right now..

[sapphire-o]

Last time I had about 10 inches cut off I asked if I could donate it. My hair's virgin and in topmost condition. They told me I needed 12 inches to donate. Later we figured out it's because I'm Asian. Asian hair is hard to process and make inferior wigs. A blonde friend of mine donated like 6 inches of her hair just fine. Now if anybody asks (always Caucasians, somehow) I'd tell them they didn't want my hair, they want softer hairs, and stare at their heads. :D

[Saranne772]

Last time I had about 10 inches cut off I asked if I could donate it. My hair's virgin and in topmost condition. They told me I needed 12 inches to donate. Later we figured out it's because I'm Asian. Asian hair is hard to process and make inferior wigs. A blonde friend of mine donated like 6 inches of her hair just fine. Now if anybody asks (always Caucasians, somehow) I'd tell them they didn't want my hair, they want softer hairs, and stare at their heads. :D

ROTF :happydance::laugh::rollin::rollin::thumbsup:

[Eireann]

The first one is not annoying, it's just that people seem to take my hair as their personal property.
You know the drill...
"Don't EVER cut your hair!"

That reminds me of when I was at college and had finally made a decision after much much soul searching to cut my hip-length hair for the very first time in my life. I had literally been thinking about it for years, but was nervous because I had never even set foot in a salon and wasn't really much of a girly-girl. (I was desparately shy in those days.) Finally, I made the decision, and I was determined to go through with it to the point of no return. when I mentioned to some of my class mates that I was getting my haircut, this guy I had a huge crush on who had never said a word to me said "oh, but you have such pretty hair." :wail:

[coppercurls]

Those replies are so funny!:eyebrows:

I once told a lady that if I cut, I would lose my super powers!

[Kirin]

Those replies are so funny!:eyebrows:

I once told a lady that if I cut, I would lose my super powers!

hahahhah! Thats the best one yet, I gota remember that one.

[Shermie Girl]

Last time I had about 10 inches cut off I asked if I could donate it. My hair's virgin and in topmost condition. They told me I needed 12 inches to donate. Later we figured out it's because I'm Asian. Asian hair is hard to process and make inferior wigs. A blonde friend of mine donated like 6 inches of her hair just fine. Now if anybody asks (always Caucasians, somehow) I'd tell them they didn't want my hair, they want softer hairs, and stare at their heads. :D

:twisted::rollin: Eeeeexcelent!

[may1em]

I got my first ever LoL question recently and said "nah, I'm pretty sure my hair is too fragile to survive the wig-making process." Just didn't want to get into it with her.

[eadwine]

I consider "don't ever cut your hair!" to mean "your hair is beautiful." So I would respond as though to a compliment, maybe say something like "I'm glad you like it," or "I'll have to remember that." I'll cut it if and when I want to, but I wouldn't say anything rude.
Yeah same here, but then with my hair color. Don't ever color your hair!

It is definitely a compliment, very much so, when people say that to me. :)

Not everything is said to push an opinion, the tone of voice is much more important than the words themselves.

[Kiraela]

Since I'm pretty well known for being (what's a nice word for 'harmless nutcase'?)... If anybody mentions cutting my hair, locks of love, etc... I glare at them, grab my hair, and mutter (audibly) to it 'it's okay, they don't know any better. Don't worry, mama's not gonna hurt you'... and stalk off. :)

[yldchyld]

Since I'm pretty well known for being (what's a nice word for 'harmless nutcase'?)... If anybody mentions cutting my hair, locks of love, etc... I glare at them, grab my hair, and mutter (audibly) to it 'it's okay, they don't know any better. Don't worry, mama's not gonna hurt you'... and stalk off. :)


Such awesome replies!! THIS one cracked me up...as well as a few others. I have to be careful with some of my replies because I am a Server and I am usually asked to donate by people I am serving. Because I want a tip, I bite my tongue.

I do however, point out that LoL sells the hair they get for money for the charity. Which means my (or yours) hair that I have been spent years growing and taking care of could end up on some spoiled Hollywood brat's head as extensions.
So I tell them I would rather give money and keep my hair. :D

I know people are complimenting me on my hair when they say "don't cut it" but I can't help it if I get a bit annoyed.

I got my yearly trim two weeks ago and the hairdresser says to me - "You're not here to cut all that off are you?"
Then she tried to push all those hair products on me but couldn't come up with a reason the products I already use (shampoo, conditioner, oil) weren't already doing their jobs fine. :eyebrows:


Which reminds me..does anybody know if pure Coconut Oil has a shelf life?

[spidermom]

Which reminds me..does anybody know if pure Coconut Oil has a shelf life?

It does but it will probably last longer than you do. If coconut oil ever goes rancid, your nose will tell you.

[Morag]

Those replies are so funny!:eyebrows:

I once told a lady that if I cut, I would lose my super powers!


ROFL!!! :rollin: Coppercurls, you are a stitch!
I hope to have the opportunity to steal that line someday!!!

[Morag]

Since I'm pretty well known for being (what's a nice word for 'harmless nutcase'?)... If anybody mentions cutting my hair, locks of love, etc... I glare at them, grab my hair, and mutter (audibly) to it 'it's okay, they don't know any better. Don't worry, mama's not gonna hurt you'... and stalk off. :)


And another winner! I'm so glad you all are giving me such good material, so I can be prepared! :misskim:

[Oberon88]

I remember in 7th grade I had relatively long hair, (longest ever before now) and then I cut it up to my shoulders and one of my friends wailed "Your hair! Your beautiful long blonde hair" and really freaked me out because I didn't think she would have even noticed.

Does anyone have any sassy replies to "Do you color your hair?" because in the california world of bottle blonds I am pretty alone with my natural color.

Usually my reply is 'No...." but I would like to spice it up a bit...

[Bucatini]

It does but it will probably last longer than you do. If coconut oil ever goes rancid, your nose will tell you.

It also separates in the week or so before it begins to smell. Total yuck.

[yldchyld]

So many witty replies...can't wait to use them! As far as coloring, I can't think of any witty things to say. My hair can't decide what color it is, so I tell people it's Calico.



It also separates in the week or so before it begins to smell. Total yuck.

Well, I've had a jar for a few years from soap making and so far I haven't noticed anything. Problem is, I have little to no sense of smell so when I use it in a braid I have to go up to coworkers and say "Does my hair smell bad?"

Good thing they are used to it because I also use natural deodorant and they are under strict instructions to tell me if I ever start to stink. :disgust:

[Kirin]

"Do you color your hair?".

"As a matter of fact I do, Its called Melanin"

[DotDotDot]

Wow, you guys are geniuses! I love all these comebacks! I hope I remember them...

But wow, you are so lucky that you got told to never cut your hair. It's pretty rude the way they said it, but I would definitely take it as a compliment! I get more people saying I should cut it off and get layers than anything else.

[Euphony]

Which reminds me..does anybody know if pure Coconut Oil has a shelf life?
Shelf life for coconut oil is supposedly two years, but it commonly stays good for twice that amount. Fractioned coconut oil is about 10 years and jojoba is 200 years (hehehe sorry, interesting facts I gotta share :grin: )

[doodlesmart]

"Do you color your hair?"

"How much do you weigh?"
or
"Oh my, are those real?"
or
"How old are you?"


It's just a rude question.

[Nevermore]

Does anyone have any sassy replies to "Do you color your hair?"

I find "do you?" said in a tone of voice that's clearly meant to show them how rude/inappropriate the question is works well. Also, "my parents colored it for me! It's permanent!" might work, course, I've been asked this before and just stared for a moment at the asker, followed by "......why?", which was actually a real question as I couldn't figure out why they'd be asking me that (I think my natural color looks, well, natural).

[Pegasus Marsters]

I once got asked if I'd coloured my hair when my hair was bright reddish pink... It was CLEARLY not a natural colour. -_-

[buttons]

If anyone ever asks me why I spend so much time on this website again- I'm totally pulling up this thread.
You guys are geniuses! If I ever get any comments like that in the future, I know who to ask for comebacks.

[Riot Crrl]

I once got, "You should get a spiral perm!"

At the time I was seriously like WTF?

But, a few years and some changing hormones later... I guess she got her wish. And I did not have to get a perm to do it lol.

[burns_erin]

Does anyone have any sassy replies to "Do you color your hair?" because in the california world of bottle blonds I am pretty alone with my natural color.

Usually my reply is 'No...." but I would like to spice it up a bit...

I usually say "no, some how I can never get the crayons to stick", but then I am known for being a fruitloop.

[AJoifulNoise]

I usually say "no, some how I can never get the crayons to stick", but then I am known for being a fruitloop.

teehee. That's wonderful.

[Kiraela]

fruit loop... that's a good word for it.

I described myself as calico too, but then, at the time I had dyed black hair... except for one rather large patch in the back(and some smaller bits elsewhere) that my stepdad (who had applied the dye) had COMPLETELY MISSED. they were, of course, a lightish red-brown. :/ It looked wonky, but I just told people I'd done it on purpose, and once again, being the 'school fruit loop' pretty well everybody believed me. Now, I've got dark hair on top, an auburn stripe, and bronzey below that... I guess I'm back to calico.

[longhairedfairy]

Last time I had about 10 inches cut off I asked if I could donate it. My hair's virgin and in topmost condition. They told me I needed 12 inches to donate. Later we figured out it's because I'm Asian. Asian hair is hard to process and make inferior wigs. A blonde friend of mine donated like 6 inches of her hair just fine. Now if anybody asks (always Caucasians, somehow) I'd tell them they didn't want my hair, they want softer hairs, and stare at their heads. :D

Really? I had read that Asian hair was usually used for wigs, maybe because it's stronger and could survive the wig-making process. By golly, I guess I was wrong.
I like your comeback, lol!
I think Asian hair is gorgeous, btw.

[longhairedfairy]

You could say it's a religious thing, like that cutting hair takes bits of your soul. (By no means am I dissing religions that do require long hair. I just think the "soul" bit would be a funny reason to give.)

[Rustella]

Those replies are so funny!:eyebrows:

I once told a lady that if I cut, I would lose my super powers!


ROFL! That's great! You could also tell them that you are a decendent of Sampson and woud lose your strength!:D

[Rustella]

Someone asked me today if I colored my hair. (I'm a new henna head, and while I was previously auburn I definately wasn't this red.) I replied "no; I shed all of my hair and suddenly grew new hair on my head in a different color!" It was a coworker who knew I was just messing with her, and wanted to bring up the subject. She liked the new red me. :)

I was raised that you NEVER ask a woman this question, that it is very rude. When I was a little girl I once asked an aunt if her bright red hair was her "real color." Both of my parents about died taught me that you do NOT ask a woman that question. (It was her real color, I was also told. lol) That question also bothers me because most of my life I had auburn hair that I did not color, but often got accused of lying when I told people it was my natural color! Even a hairstylist once accused me of lying about my haircolor being natural because I have black eyebrows. I also used to work with some katty women who were always trying to catch me lying about my haircolor being natural. "What color hair do your parents have? And your relatives?" How rude! I eventually started to have fun with it. "Would you like a few pieces so you can inspect it under a microscope?" or "See any roots today?" or "Another person told me the other day that they wished they had my haircolor." Grrrrr.:steam

I recently turned to henna to cover the greys. Somehow the question about coloring doesn't bother me like it did when I wasn't coloring. :rolleyes:

[longhairedfairy]

I was rude enough to ask someone at college if her hair was really that color. :oops: I didn't mean it rudely, but I still feel bad about it and it was near 8 years ago, lol. It was just that it was so beautiful and dark that I wondered if it could be that pretty naturally. She said everyone asks her that (she was nice about it, though) and said it was natural. I just don't often see someone with a combination of such pretty fair skin (I think she's tanned it a few times since then) and such dark hair. She was Miss New Jersey in 2004, btw, and is extremely nice. I always made a point to tell her how pretty her hair is after that, because it is really gorgeous. The photos don't do it justice.

[bex487]

I think in this day and age, so many women color their hair (and it's SO much more accepted) that I don't really see it as rude. In fact, usually the follow-up is "Your hair color is so gorgeous!" I never have a problem saying yes or no.

As for the LOL, I used to ask girls that when I was younger...I think because it is a bit unusual to have hair that's much past the middle of your back these days. I always phrased the question politely, such as, "Are you growing your hair long because you like it, or to donate it?" I think, as someone mentioned, many people view it as a conversation starter. That's just my opinion, though.

[Siava]

I was rude enough to ask someone at college if her hair was really that color. :oops: I didn't mean it rudely, but I still feel bad about it and it was near 8 years ago, lol. It was just that it was so beautiful and dark that I wondered if it could be that pretty naturally. She said everyone asks her that (she was nice about it, though) and said it was natural. I just don't often see someone with a combination of such pretty fair skin (I think she's tanned it a few times since then) and such dark hair. She was Miss New Jersey in 2004, btw, and is extremely nice. I always made a point to tell her how pretty her hair is after that, because it is really gorgeous. The photos don't do it justice.

I just looked her up...Erica Scanion? That color *is* beautiful.

The only thing I can contribute is a comment I got in high school that really hurt my feelings. Once the hormones kicked into high gear my hair started to darken. I had about 2 inches of brown and the rest was a natural dirty blonde. I was asked when I was going to "touch up" my roots. When I stated I'd never colored my hair before I was told that I had better start because it looked like s***. Nice kid, huh? I did color it after that and went on a dying binge for several years. People can be so mean.

[longhairedfairy]

I just looked her up...Erica Scanion? That color *is* beautiful.

Yep, that's her. She can sing (very warm, absolutely angelic voice with quite a wide range), act, and dance well. She's a genuinely nice person, too, and has such a great sense of humor.


The only thing I can contribute is a comment I got in high school that really hurt my feelings. Once the hormones kicked into high gear my hair started to darken. I had about 2 inches of brown and the rest was a natural dirty blonde. I was asked when I was going to "touch up" my roots. When I stated I'd never colored my hair before I was told that I had better start because it looked like s***. Nice kid, huh? I did color it after that and went on a dying binge for several years. People can be so mean.

Yeah, there's no excuse for being so mean. My mother's hair turned all different colors when she was a teenager. I mean many different colors at the same time. She describes it as "dishwater" color. There were brown, black, and platinum blond hairs and everything. It was a beautiful blond when she was younger and turned back to its normal color when she got a little older.

[rubyann]

I get a kick out of all the snappy comebacks! I think the one I'm gonna keep will be "Why?" Or maybe "Why do you ask?" Puts the ball back in their court and take the spotlight off of me!