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Joyce
June 3rd, 2008, 10:20 AM
I try to have longer hair but I haven't been able to grow longer. A few months ago when the forum get down I wet to the hairdresser and I ask her to cut 2 inches. Since a year now I try to reduce the V shape and the fairytales effect I ask to the hairdresser (silly me). Its almost done now. I still have a lot of difficulty to grown my sides. With this forum I learn to look at my hair correctly. One thing that I realized is my hair pattern. I have hair of all lenghts. This is why they have the look freezy and seems to have breakage everywhere but its not. It is just that if I take a strand of 50 hairs, 2/3 of them doesn't grow full lenght. At the roots I have volume, but when I braid them I end up with a tiny braid. If I would like to have a beautiful hem I have to shop half the lenght you see in pictures album. I haven't find the solution for dry ends...yeah I try since 3 years now. I can't wear them down because they get messy full of tangles in an hour.

Is there some of you feeling discouraged like that? What the purpose of long hair if you can't have the pleasure of wearing them down sometimes? I'm lacking of patience...I protect my lenght with conditionner when I shampoo (biologic shampoo) and I redo a conditionner after, I use a leavin to detangle, cream conditionner on ends plus oils, I braid before sleeping...they stil tangled... I even redone henna glosses to had strenght.

Really sometimes I look at magazines and if I had a good an talented hairdresser I would go for a haircut :(

lilalong
June 3rd, 2008, 10:25 AM
I just looked through your album.
Your hair is beautiful.

FrannyG
June 3rd, 2008, 10:30 AM
I try to have longer hair but I haven't been able to grow longer. A few months ago when the forum get down I wet to the hairdresser and I ask her to cut 2 inches. Since a year now I try to reduce the V shape and the fairytales effect I ask to the hairdresser (silly me). Its almost done now. I still have a lot of difficulty to grown my sides. With this forum I learn to look at my hair correctly. One thing that I realized is my hair pattern. I have hair of all lenghts. This is why they have the look freezy and seems to have breakage everywhere but its not. It is just that if I take a strand of 50 hairs, 2/3 of them doesn't grow full lenght. At the roots I have volume, but when I braid them I end up with a tiny braid. If I would like to have a beautiful hem I have to shop half the lenght you see in pictures album. I haven't find the solution for dry ends...yeah I try since 3 years now. I can't wear them down because they get messy full of tangles in an hour.

Is there some of you feeling discouraged like that? What the purpose of long hair if you can't have the pleasure of wearing them down sometimes? I'm lacking of patience...I protect my lenght with conditionner when I shampoo (biologic shampoo) and I redo a conditionner after, I use a leavin to detangle, cream conditionner on ends plus oils, I braid before sleeping...they stil tangled... I even redone henna glosses to had strenght.

Really sometimes I look at magazines and if I had a good an talented hairdresser I would go for a haircut :(

Joyce your hair looks lovely to me. I think most people have quite a taper at your length. I know that my hair even at 23 inches, has quite a bit of taper.

Fortunately, you have waves, which gives you volume, so your hair doesn't look nearly as tapered at the ends as you seem to think. Why don't you just maintain at the current length you are for several months, and occasionally get small trims?

I think you're being awfully hard on yourself. Whatever you do, please don't go and do something you'll regret. If you're seriously thinking about having your hair cut, please use the 2-week rule.

I think we all go through frustration from time to time. Hang in there! :flowers:

Joyce
June 3rd, 2008, 10:39 AM
This is just I see my daughter hair they have just dreamy, soft, silky, no breakage, thick, and me I do everything and I can't have this texture. I'm going to buy a new mask of phyto I use before, we will see if that help. I don't like them at all for the moment. I don't the touch the dry ends.

spidermom
June 3rd, 2008, 10:49 AM
I agree! You have lovely hair, It's about the same length as mine. I've been growing mine out for 7 years. Like you, I can pull out a section of hair anywhere on my head, and less than 1/3 will be longest hairs. In fact, a lot of times there will be one longest hair and the rest are shorter. When I braid, those shorter ends stick out all over the place and remind me of a bottle washer. It seems to me that most people have this. Even on TV or in movies where it looks like the actress has smooth, perfect hair, whenever there is a light behind her, you will see that she has shorter hairs all over the place, too. It's totally normal. That's how hair is.

When my ends get dried out and start splitting, it's time to trim. I'd rather have my hair feel and look nice from scalp to ends than have extra length.

Please don't cut yours in haste. Give yourself at least two weeks of thinking about it, looking at styles, and deciding whether or not you're ready for a change. If you're just frustrated, that will pass. Let it.

Dark Rosaleen
June 3rd, 2008, 10:51 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling badly about your hair, but please believe me when I say that it looks gorgeous in your pictures.

Islandgrrl
June 3rd, 2008, 10:53 AM
Joyce, your hair is just gorgeous! You have beautiful color and shine and the length is wonderful! I think, too, that you might be just a little hard on yourself. Love the hair you have and take the best possible care of it. I guarantee you that your hair is just stunning the way that it is!

Look, I would love to have beautiful silky, straight shiny hair like my daughter. But it's just not my hair's nature to be that way. No matter what I do, I will never have that particular type of hair. So I just have to embrace the hair I have and love it for what it is.

Kirin
June 3rd, 2008, 10:53 AM
I watch my daughter's hair too, both of them. Long lovely heavenly blonde hair. the little one has true princess light gold locks, with a smooth shiny S wave, and the older one has THICK thick thick ripple waved renaissance hair in a sandy darker blonde.

Me? Thin, fine, and I envy them! And the only thing they do is shampoo and condition daily, one even flat irons (the older) with near waist length hair and ZERO breakage. Go figure.

The easiest answer is, what you are doing is not working..... for YOU! Oils and things don't work for my hair, and make it worse (at least it seems so to me). I returned to commercial shampoos and even mousse, and I have better texture and softness to my hair.

You do not have to do as I have done, but the rule is, if it isn't working, try something else! My hair is for me, and I want to not only grow it, but enjoy it. If I want it down, I wear it down. If I want to use something for a special occassion, I do it. It is about pleasing myself, not doing what is precieved as the best.

Delenn
June 3rd, 2008, 11:08 AM
Is there some of you feeling discouraged like that? What the purpose of long hair if you can't have the pleasure of wearing them down sometimes? I'm lacking of patience...I protect my lenght with conditionner when I shampoo (biologic shampoo) and I redo a conditionner after, I use a leavin to detangle, cream conditionner on ends plus oils, I braid before sleeping...they stil tangled... I even redone henna glosses to had strenght.

I wear my hair down sometimes, in fact I'm doing so today. :inlove: I just try and wear it up more than down, I figure that's a fair trade and so far it's working. Now when I do wear it down I get tons of compliments because it's more of a special occasion to let it fly free. :p If you want to wear it down, wear it down! It should make you happy after all!

mommy101405
June 3rd, 2008, 11:44 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling badly about your hair, but please believe me when I say that it looks gorgeous in your pictures.


DITTO THAT!!!!

morgwn
June 3rd, 2008, 11:49 AM
Joyce, you do have gorgeous hair, IMO. Your hair looks lovely in all of your pics and some taper is definitely normal. I think if anything you should just do microtrims every few months to get your ends evened up if that's what you're after. But definitely I would advise you to heed Franny's advice and use that 2-week rule! :flower:

Elenna
June 3rd, 2008, 12:27 PM
I just went to look at your hair. :agape: It's gorgeous and I love your updo! I wish my hair looked as nice as yours does.

Anje
June 3rd, 2008, 12:35 PM
Joyce, I just looked at your album and I must say your hair is quite lovely. We're similar lengths and textures, and I'm still getting serious hair envy.

People who are slightly wavy seem to have the most difficult time with little ends sticking out everywhere... Most of us have hair that is lots of different lengths, because everyone sheds hair and has to regrow it, but mild waves make the ends of these hairs stick out and look a bit damaged a lot of the time. Unfortunately, that won't totally change unless you go all the way to a pixie cut -- you will always have hairs of different lengths and they will stick up strangely unless all the rest of the hair sticks up too.

You say you have dry ends, and you seem to be protecting them well, which makes me wonder when the last time was that you sudsed them well with a sulfate shampoo. Clarifying is something I often neglect to do until I start wondering why my hair has been tangling and breaking for the last few weeks, but it makes a huge difference, to the extent that instead of tangles my hair won't stay because of slip until it starts getting dirty again.

Have you tried Fox's shea butter conditioning cream? (It's in the recipes section.) Seems to be making a difference on my ends, where oils alone were not.

spidermom
June 3rd, 2008, 12:57 PM
Oh yes - like Anje, bad ends often mean it's time to clarify. Sometimes it's not your hair that's all dry and crackly. It's the stuff on it and in it -- conditioner residue, leave-ins, pollen, oil, and mysterious fluff you don't want to know about.

HaiirPEACE
June 3rd, 2008, 01:07 PM
nooooooo!!! i love it!!! leave it there =]

maskedrose
June 3rd, 2008, 01:09 PM
The pictures in your album are amazing! Please don't cut - you've already gotten a lot of good suggestions (clarifying, trimming, etc) that I totally agree with!

lora410
June 3rd, 2008, 01:16 PM
Do you use cones at all? Cones make my hair a dry knotted mess on the ends. I agree that your hair is stunning!!! I noticed we are the same hair type, and yes our waves definetly have a mind of their own. I can't tell you how many odd hair days I have had,and I would love for my hair to look as beautiful at your length when I finally get there. ;)

yogachic
June 3rd, 2008, 01:39 PM
I agree, beautiful hair. Maybe just trim the ends to rid your hair of splits, every few months.

shay_48328
June 3rd, 2008, 04:42 PM
I am getting a cut today. Got one in November 2007 and getting rid of permed ends tonight. I'm scared in a way but I think I am so ready. I am also newly past bra length so this is scary but I want healthy hair.

Do whatever is going to feel right for you.

Kiraela
June 3rd, 2008, 05:07 PM
Please don't cut! Your hair is absolutely lovely!! Like many others have said, taper is normal. If hair didn't taper, that'd mean all the hairs are the same length... which means they'd all fall out at the same time! Trims can increase the thickness, but taper, and shorter hairs, will always be a fact of life.

By the way, I wish I knew how to do any of those updos in your album... (Yeah, I've got a bit of hair envy going on...)

As for advice... if what you're doing isn't working, try something else. I know, it sounds stupidly simple, but honestly, it's the best way to find out what your hair loves. For instance, I just recently learned that my hair hates Evoo, but loves an evoo-soy blend oil. Try changing conditioners, using less product on your ends, different products, different oils.... See where I'm going with this? Something is bound to work.

*Hugs*

Joyce
June 3rd, 2008, 05:22 PM
Joyce, I just looked at your album and I must say your hair is quite lovely. We're similar lengths and textures, and I'm still getting serious hair envy.

People who are slightly wavy seem to have the most difficult time with little ends sticking out everywhere... Most of us have hair that is lots of different lengths, because everyone sheds hair and has to regrow it, but mild waves make the ends of these hairs stick out and look a bit damaged a lot of the time. Unfortunately, that won't totally change unless you go all the way to a pixie cut -- you will always have hairs of different lengths and they will stick up strangely unless all the rest of the hair sticks up too.

You say you have dry ends, and you seem to be protecting them well, which makes me wonder when the last time was that you sudsed them well with a sulfate shampoo. Clarifying is something I often neglect to do until I start wondering why my hair has been tangling and breaking for the last few weeks, but it makes a huge difference, to the extent that instead of tangles my hair won't stay because of slip until it starts getting dirty again.

Have you tried Fox's shea butter conditioning cream? (It's in the recipes section.) Seems to be making a difference on my ends, where oils alone were not.

After reading everybody I feel less discouraged. I tried many receipes with jojoba, coconut, olive and others oils but that doesn't seem to work at all. I even tried to brush them and oil, I could add oil many times on ends without beeing oily. Shea butter make my hair glued even with a small amount. I only use two shampoos in two year. My principal is Melvita for extra dried hair, I tried desert organics but I prefer Melvita. I haven't clarified I thought its only when we use cones, I'm not right? I never wash the lenghts, always put conditionner. I haven't find anything magical or making a real difference for the ends. I tried Leonor Greyl mask and added olive oil into it and it still dry (less). I use her leave cream also with olive oil into.

I have been growing my hair since 8 years now.

spidermom
June 3rd, 2008, 05:52 PM
I haven't clarified I thought its only when we use cones, I'm not right?

Nope; you're not right. Anything and everything can build up. Go ahead and wash your entire length. You might even need to do it twice since it's been such a long time since you washed the length.

Good luck!

Anje
June 3rd, 2008, 06:38 PM
Definitely try clarifying, then. I don't use cones and still get buildup. It's probably a good idea to clarify at least every 3-4 months, if you're using anything but distilled water on your hair. (Well, WO people might get away with clarifying annually if they vinegar rinse, but they're an exception...)

TammySue
June 3rd, 2008, 06:54 PM
Oh, your hair is so pretty and I love all your pictures! :blossom:
I suggest a tiny trim, which is something that always makes me feel better about my hair.

Curlsgirl
June 3rd, 2008, 07:16 PM
Wow! Your hair is beautiful! You are definitely being too critical! I do know how you feel though. Sometimes I think why in the world am I even doing this? My hair is also all different lengths throughout. Spidermom always makes me feel better when she emphasizes that is normal! Mine doesn't always feel that great either depending on the day! I agree on the clarifying. Also are you sure that oil agrees with your hair? Some people can't use oil on dry hair anyway and some can't use it on wet either or they get dry crunch. Just a thought. I really think you have gorgeous hair though. Many would LOVE to have hair just like that!!!

Sidani
June 3rd, 2008, 07:50 PM
Hello Joyce! You've gotten some great advice here. Our hair types are very similar and I went through a spell of my hair feeling like straw for awhile. Even though the shampoo I was using didn't have cones, I still got build up. I switched to a clarifying shampoo once a week followed by V05 conditioner. This switch really helped my hair and I only wash it once a week now. I also use lots of coconut oil overnight every once in awhile before a shampoo day and that gives it a really soft feel. Your hair is really beautiful and I would love to learn how to do some of those fabulous updo's you've got photos of there.

btw ... I lived in Montreal for 5 years .. are you near there?

Joyce
June 3rd, 2008, 08:04 PM
Hello Joyce! You've gotten some great advice here. Our hair types are very similar and I went through a spell of my hair feeling like straw for awhile. Even though the shampoo I was using didn't have cones, I still got build up. I switched to a clarifying shampoo once a week followed by V05 conditioner. This switch really helped my hair and I only wash it once a week now. I also use lots of coconut oil overnight every once in awhile before a shampoo day and that gives it a really soft feel. Your hair is really beautiful and I would love to learn how to do some of those fabulous updo's you've got photos of there.

btw ... I lived in Montreal for 5 years .. are you near there?

Its a kind of study about hair...we must have a certificate afters years here :)

Wich kind of shampoo could clarify? something with sulfate?

I'm at 300 km from Montreal, lost in the country.

Sidani
June 3rd, 2008, 08:25 PM
Its a kind of study about hair...we must have a certificate afters years here :)

Wich kind of shampoo could clarify? something with sulfate?

I'm at 300 km from Montreal, lost in the country.

Absolutely! lol I know I should have some sort of certification by now! :graduate:

I like Pantene clarifying shampoo. Well, I should say, my hair likes Pantene. lol It really made a huge difference in how my hair felt. Remember, it's going to strip off everything, so your hair will tangle a bit more easily while it's wet. And I love the cheap V05 conditioners.

You're out in the beautiful country region of Quebec ... I visited Quebec City once, it was amazing! And I loved living in Montreal. There was always SOO much to do!

I will get on my knees and beg you if I must, but I would love it if you would post a tutorial on how you get your hair into those amazing updos in your photo album. I don't know which I like the best, the one in your profile picture or the one in your avatar. Both are stunning!

30isthenewblack
June 3rd, 2008, 09:20 PM
I agree with everyone here. You have gorgeous hair and I think you are being overly critical about your hair. I love the up dos especially the half do that was in the picture. I will try that when my hair grows to your length :)

Joyce
June 3rd, 2008, 10:40 PM
I said that I will do pictures for a tutorial about updos. I HAVE to do it and I will post when I will do one. Since months I haven't do any updos...

I will clarify those hairs and will do a deep night mask and will let you know. THanks!!!

Sidani
June 3rd, 2008, 11:15 PM
Best of luck to you, Joyce. Be sure and post your results. I hope it all works well and your hair will feel like silk. Try to be patient. I know it's hard... but your beautiful hair will thank you for it. :)

Nevermore
June 4th, 2008, 02:17 AM
I went and looked at your album too and your hair is beautiful!

Medvssa
June 4th, 2008, 02:31 AM
You can also give a try to (diluted) vinegar rinses and last rinses with cold water, this makes my hair softer.

If you put the oils on dry hair, maybe try putting oils on damp hair. A lot of people find that this works better for them. I spray my hair with a mix of water and leave-in (mine is glycerine based) and then apply the oil, it works a lot better.

I second the clarifying, and don't cut it! :)

VikingJarl
June 4th, 2008, 04:47 PM
I just checked your album too. It looks great to me, I'd be happy to have that length:-)

I too seem to have hairs that are all sorts of different lengths and stick out of my braids. I also have the split end problem, but my s&d sessions aren't as bad as they were. Hang in there, I'm sure things will improve.

Joyce
June 5th, 2008, 07:11 AM
I'm discovering the new features of the community and I have to say wow, I love it so much more than the previous! Thanks all for all your comments I never expected such kind words.

I did a neutrogena shampoo...I forgot to tell that since a while I'm using John Frieda Conditionner for REDs...this is part of the problem. Unuseful to tell you the waters's color. I don't like the feel of hair striped, but after I put a silicone free conditionner with shea and left it a few hours. My hair are MUCH more silky. THe dry part is on 3" instead of 6". I put olive oil and leave in cream but the ends still tangled wet, less dry. I'm going to search my old favorite phyto cream to see if it helps. The problem that annoyed me about tangled ends is that when I try to detangle even very carefuly my hair on ends seems to do knots that will end in breakage one day :(

morgwn
June 5th, 2008, 08:46 AM
The tangled ends bit I can relate to; I just find that I have to do a bit of leave-in conditioner or a bit of oil (I use coconut) on those ends while I gently detangle and then wrap them safely into an updo. I find that then they're much easier to handle when I take my hair down that night and they seem to have less breakage.

joyinc
June 5th, 2008, 08:58 AM
my hair is all differnt lengths too and often looks split and frizzy... if you really want it long cutting isnt the answer! just wear it up on your bad days :)

(i wear mine up every day lol)