Hair cut regrets from a very unhappy girl

[E.L.x 86]

Needing to vent/wallow in self pity regarding recent hair cut.

Last week I had my hair cut from almost waist length (but with layers up to about BSL if a little shorter) to BSL. I didn't make the most of my longer hair, didn't have to the time to style is nicely and work in an industry where long hair down is not practical. I have always had long hair though so I didn't want to go shorter than BSL.

I told the hairdresser I wanted 2 inches taking off the length and I wanted the layers tidying up but not taken much shorter. To her credit, she didn't take the layers any higher but she took off about 3 inches so all the layers are practically gone anyway. I ended up with a very blunt, very square cut. I thought it was ok at the time but as the days went on I realised how awful it looked.

So I asked my partner to help even it out a bit. At first all I wanted was to soften up the edges and make it look less square and boxy. I explained what I meant by U shape and asked him to do what he could for me. A chop and a snip later and he was done. It was ok. Definitely less square, but it was very subtle and I still wasn't happy with it.
Yesterday I asked him if he'd have another go. I suggested perhaps he tried for more of a V shape. A chop and snip later and...

Oh my God.
Oh my God.

It looks awful.
It's uneven. It's blunter than ever. Any layers I had in the front are gone, now it looks stepped. Stepped! It's just... it looks awful. I am so unhappy I could cry.
The longest part is still BSL but the top edges of the V are significantly shorter. The front section, when pulled forwards over my shoulders, looks terrible. The ends are so blunt and you can see the steps. And it's so short. I hate it.

I am very upset about it. The worst part is that it's my own fault. I should have been clearer with the original hairdresser, and I should never ever have asked my partner to fix it for me.
I desperatley want to get it sorted out but I can't even contemplate the thought of having any more taken off. I keep trying to console myself with the knowledge that hair grows, but my hair is such a huge part of who I am that the thought of having to wait 2, 3, or even 4 months to get it sorted makes me very unhappy. I have enough self-image issues as it is. I don't know what to do.

Well, I thought writing this out would make me feel better but I feel just as miserable now as I did before. I know I have no-one to blame but myself. But I still feel very very sad about the whole thing.
Sorry to go on...

[DecafJane]

Very sorry to hear about your rough experience!
I don't have any advice to offer except to perhaps suggest that if it helps, you can remember that it could have been worse - at least you can still pull it up and do some styles with it.
Take care, and I hope it grows back fast.

[Curlsgirl]

:eek:I am so sorry! HUGS! I know you must feel awful but well you can't glue the hair back on right? So why not just get it evened out and wear it up for a while. At least it will all be nice and blunt and healthy! It will grow again in no time especially if you keep it up. More hugs!

[Xandergrammy]

Oh sweetie.... All I can do is sympathize. In 1995 I was a little less than clear (and very inattentive) and ended up with a super pixie. I've haven't had a real haircut since. Take care of it the best you can, wear it up if possible and try to live with it until it is grown out. Here's a picture of my hair in 1997- two years after my very short haircut. If I can live with THIS hair, there's lots of hope for you! :rollin:

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g6/Xandergrammy/59e1dcab.jpg

[tiny_teesha]

i think you are being too hard on yourself. I like the blunt ends you describe. Wear it up a lot if you are ashamed and it will do it good. :) i know it might seem rough but ask an honest friend what they think of it- it might put it in perspective. At least it isn't really short like a bob rght?

[FrannyG]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. :grouphug: I think that there are very few of us here who haven't had a cut we've regretted at some time or another. I remember one short cut that I got many years ago, and I can remember being in tears for hours, because it just was too short and nothing like the cut I asked for. I really know that sinking feeling.

If you do decide to fix it up at some point, are you familiar with Feye's Trimming Method (http://community.livejournal.com/feyeselftrim)? It's pretty much foolproof, and it's how I trim my own hair. If I can do it, believe me, anyone can. :p

I know it's cold comfort right now to say that your hair will grow back, but the truth is it will, and probably faster than you think. :flowers:

[k_hepburn]

My advice would be, as hard as it may be on you right now, to go to a really good salon and get a hair cut that you are happy with, asking them to sacrifice as little length as possible to make it look good. Then, console yourself by telling yourself that you can now enjoy the shorter hair over the summer months, and come winter you'll already have gained some length back.

If you've got a good cut, it's going to last you for a good long time. Provided you treat your hair gently, you could easily be able to hold off the next trim for at least a year, probably longer, so you will be gaining your length back within a reasonable time frame, while at the same time still being able to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy with what you see. If, on the other hand, you were to decide to stick with the misshapen result of the recent "corrections" to the original cut, I fear you would probably not only be unhappy about it, you would also be prone to keep chipping away at it again and again (loosing more and more length), without ever really being happy with the result.

If you decide you can stomach another cut to give you a better (albeit shorter) starting point from which to regrow your hair, just be very specific (as well as realistic) about the look you want, and make sure they listen to you properly. Tell them, your aim is to grow your hair long again, since some cuts may look good at a certain length, but not if the hair grows a few inches longer, while others manage to look good for ages.

Greetings

katharine

[Saranne772]

Im sorry to hear of your unfortunate chop. Stick in there and grow :) You will soon grow back and you will grow back healthy. *sprinkles growth dust*

[Hurray4Henna]

E.L.....HUGS...just HUGS ;)

I know your sadness, as do other LHCers. There is light at the end of this tunnel.

I cut my BSL hair to just below my ears in January and I was very very sad. In my sitaution I felt it was the best option to help rid most of my damage and old green highlights...YES...I said GREEN! Althought it was the right decision, it was a very difficult one. To see the final cut brought me to tears, because I felt like I was starting all over again and it just was not me! Spidermom had suggested wearing my hair up in one thread, (it would barely fit into a bun) so that I would not focus on the length and you know what...it works!

Over the last few months I have focused on the things that could speed up my hair growth, keep me sane and encourage a healthier me. This is what I have done;

-wear my hair up and baby it
-no heat, no chemical dyes, no torture
-eat a healthy balanced diet--lots of raw veggies, fruit and nuts
-try to enjoy the positives about this length (I know right now this may seem difficult)

Hang in there...it will grow :) You'll have a greater appreciation for your longer locks this time around.

One thing I will say is that my hair has never grown as fast as it has with in the last few months. I have my healthy diet to thank for that. There are no miracles pill etc., but I believe that a healthy diet is very powerful and in my case has encouraged a slightly faster growth rate.

HUGS

All the best :flower:

[spidermom]

Wait a couple of weeks before you decide what you want to do about this. A growth spurt often follows a hair cut, and the edges you dislike might soften pretty fast. The last time I got 3-4 inches cut off, it grew back in about 6 weeks. Try to cheer up; this will be over sooner than you think.

[Sana]

Aww...sorry to hear about it. Just hang on & it will grow back. Just some updos should help until it grows a bit. U can probably even it later in stages so that you don't end up with shorter hair. GL & hang on.....it will grow faster than you know:)

[talula_fairie]

I have SO BEEN THERE.

In fact, I have photographic evidence of a too-blunt stepped uneven cut:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/166/332485951_4cdb6d9b82.jpg

Yeah. I cried. I ended up having to cut off the layers and deal with six months of growth, gone.

And, recently, I cut off all my hair to a pixie. Well, the first cut I got wasn't quite right. I decided to trim the bangs, and ended up looking like a vulcan (no exaggeration, I had the exact vulcan hair cut). It was HORRIFYING. And, my hair was so incredibly short that I wasn't sure what could even be done. I asked my hairstylist friend (who doesn't live near me unfortunately) what to do. She suggested I go to a nice salon and get it fixed. That's what I did. It ended up being a super-short but very cute pixie. I loved it.

So...you may have to resign yourself to losing some length, but go to a high end salon and get it fixed to a style you can live with. I think you'll feel a lot better.

[Deborah]

:grouphug: I am so sorry that you are experiencing a bad haircut! I think there are really only two solutions, and others have already described them:

1. Go to a salon and get a good re-shaping cut.

and/or

2. Wear your hair in an updo every day. You are young and it really will grow back more quickly than you think.

Try not to obsess over this. It honestly will end up the way you like it in not such a long while. :flower:

[jojo]

I personally would just leave it be for a few months, hair grows unevenly anyway and the hem will soften as it grows. If after a few months you still are not happy, you could always try self cutting.

[maskedrose]

If it were me, I'd go to a good salon and get reshaped. I know that I couldn't personally live with choppy hair, but like others have said, if you don't want to cut, just wear it up alot.

[jesamyn]

E.L., I really feel for you. I wasn't paying attention during my last trim and got far more off than I inteded. It was right before vacation, and I just wanted to cry. Then I spent most of my vacation with it up anyway...and suddenly I didn't care as much.

I really sympathize with you. I can only echo the suggestions of others. I've used Feye's trimming directions in the past, and I will start doing so again. They're very easy. I'd suggest wearing your hair up for a couple of weeks, and then looking at getting it shaped up. I think you'll feel a bit less desperate and better about the decision.

(And not to deter from the thread...but Xandergrammy, that is the cutest little pup in the picture you posted.)

[julya]

Back in high school, I cut my hair myself. I think I was going for a chin length bob, but I did a terrible job. My mom ended up taking me to a salon to get it fixed, it was so bad I wound up with a pixie cut. I wasn't too attached to my long hair at that point in my life, but if the same thing happened now I would be so sad.

Try and hang in there. And please be gentle with yourself, we all make mistakes we regret. I know I am always my own worst critic.

[Katja]

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience. I agree with the other comments: get a TRUSTWORTHY stylist to fix the shape with minimal cutting, and try to forget about it as it grows out. Good luck!

[domonic_uk]

Don't worry this happened to a friend of mine I just encourage her to let it grow again rather than go for another haircut which will probable end up even shorter and not the style you are looking for.

[strawberryfine]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so sad. I do know how you feel. I just cut off 3 inches back up to just past BSL with some very slight, very long layers. I feel sick. I was having a lot of tangling issues and I am not sure this has helped. I know in 6 months time the length should be back and the slight layering I will just treat as "fairy-tale ends" for now. I like a very blunt cut but it does make it harder to put up without having "paint brush ends".
Just know that you are not alone and persevere- your hair will grow back and you can have it shaped to your specifications. One suggestion-I worked as a hairstylist for 10 years-always tell them you want about three inches longer than you really want. For example, if you want 4inches off, tell them 1". You will usually come closer to getting what you really want. I hope this helps. In the meantime you might try wearing your hair up a lot. That's what I've been doing and it does make me feel better. Good luck in future!
sf

[vidgrl007]

E L,hun i've been there just last Aug I had a stylist give me a pixie (razored and everything).My hair was shoulder length.I was going to grow it and I got a wild hair and in my moment of weakness (hadn't found tlhc yet) went back short.granted she gave me what I asked for.I loved it and two days later regretted my decision.Then of chourse:) found everyone here.I guess all i'm saying is just move on and in no time your hair will be more fabulous than it already is:)