Totally LOST! Please help!

[frolovsmom]

Okay... I'm VERY new and would really like to learn more about hair care for my type of hair and situation. I know it may be a process and I'd love to share this journey with you all on the site... But where to begin?

I've been reading as much as I can for days now... and found some great links (and also lost those great links) ...and are hoping to get some personal help from anyone who has the time..

My hair situation: thin medium brown hair. I've been dying it blonde with Feria for years (only at roots) and are trying to grow the blonde out. Now I just put streaks here and there about every 2 months so it's not so sudden a color change. I use a wide toothed comb only and brush from the bottom working my way to the top. My scalp is pretty oily but I still try to limit hair washing to every other day. I never blow dry and I wear my hair up in a bun almost everyday. I use a claw clip to hold it or sometimes chopsticks. I trim it to a certain spot on the top of a certain pair of pants every 4 months or so to make my hair less "tattered" at the ends. Usually an inch to 2 inches it seems. I let it grow all year trying to get it to tailbone and just cut 6 inches off 2 months ago because it was very tattered... and, well... "nasty." and have considered cutting it off even more out of frustration. Lots of split-ends and hairs poking out all over.

I moved to the country last year and have hard water... which I feel has REALLY been destroying my hair... very dry and "witch-like" from about Bra down. I started using Catwalk oatmeal & honey shampoo and conditioner which helped for a little bit then not at all. So I began to use TIGI Dumb Blonde S&C every other hair wash. That worked for a few more months. Once again... I can't comb through it well at all.. and I can't get the bottom of my hair to not be dried out looking and frizzy (unless I use the Feria conditioner that's in my dye box). I started using Conditioner then shampoo and condition again hoping I can at least comb through it... but I'm convinced there's a better way.

I've been reading about Cones on the site and oils etc. and would like a suggestion on what to use and how often and how etc.

I went shopping today and bought these things to make a couple recipe for treating my hair- honey, 99% organic aloe (clear), and Tresemme silicone free (aloe/avocado) S&C as well as the Matrix/Biolage Conditioning Balm- but lost the recipes to use them in and I don't really know how often or how to use it! I also bought some coconut oil.

Any suggestions...recipies... tutorials... other info... whatever you may have to offer would be very appreciated.

My goal in this post is to use your advice to start a regiment of "do this every so-and-so days...and this every so-and-so weeks" like clockwork...

I took a photo of my hair right now and would like to update it every couple months as my hair becomes more full and more healthy. Ultimately... I would like it all the same length, and tangle-free/healthy at my tailbone.

So... what do you think??

[clichepithet]

Right off I'd check (and chuck) my products with protein and throw in some deep moisture treatments. Offhand that's what your problem sounds like, protein overload. Look into vinegar rinses for dealing with your hard water.

Welcome to LHC.

Will try to dredge up some links for you. Someone might beat me to it.


ETA:
Vinegar overview, Article. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=56)
General search, vinegar specific, to get you going. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/search.php?searchid=2431713&pp=25)
Hair Diagnostic Article. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=17)
Protein Disaster Article. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44)

ETA2: Could also try clarifying. If you've mineral buildup it can cause issues. I'd also simply pay attention to what you're doing/using in relation to some things you can learn about here. There's a lot of information to sift through and it can be a bit overwhelming at first. Not to worry, you're now in the Mane Forum and there's gonna be about 40 people come through here now who are way more informative and coherent than I. :D

[tinywife]

Welcome, Frolovsmom!

My thin medium brown hair had a dryness problem too, and coconut oil totally corrected it. Here's how to use it:

- Most coconut oil is solid at room temperature, so run the bottle under hot water for a minute (being careful not to let any get inside) until you can squeeze out a few drops.
- Squeeze a few drops onto your wet hands, and then rub your hands together. They'll have a very light shine to them. Then rub your hands over your wet hair - NOT the scalp, or it'll totally look greasy! I just use 6 drops but you'll probably need more, or else you'll need to do this more than once, since your hair is so long and mine only reaches my eyes, lol! But be careful not to overdo it, or you'll want to wash your hair again (and frequent washings are bad for it.) You can always add more oil later.
You won't be able to see or feel the oil on your hair, so you'll be tempted to add a ton more. Don't! Wait till it dries to determine how much more you need. A little bit goes a surprisingly long way!
- For moisture throughout the day, I bought a travel-size spray bottle from Wal-Mart and filled it with a little coconut oil and a lot of warm water. Any time between showers I want more softness/less dryness to my hair, I use my "coconut mist." The oil solidifies in a few hours, so I run this bottle under warm water too before I use it.
Works like a charm. I can't believe how soft and thick my hair is!

I also recommend CO washing. You don't really need shampoo; conditioner removes oils just fine.

[Milui Elenath]

Welcome :) I think you've been given a great start with the links to the articles. Also you might check through the sticky post at the top of the forum for VIT - very important threads. I used to forget about that and be looking all over for threads I'd previously seen.

[HintOfMint]

I would suggest not making too many changes at once because then you can't tell which element you changed is the one that is working for you. From what you have in your arsenal so far, you have a good place to start.
Before you do anything, clarify your hair. Wash with a silicone-free, and perhaps protein free, shampoo. This gives your hair a good baseline to start with. Then, for your next wash, I would recommend a CWC, which I will explain in a bit.

The good thing about cone-free routines is that you can CWC without worrying about buildup, or at least not as much as you would get with cones.
CWC stands for Condition-Wash-Condition. You coat your hair with conditioner (usually a cheap one, like V05), and then shampoo the scalp only. The conditioner protects your ends from the shampoo, which is often stripping. Also, your ends don't really need shampoo. A thin, runny conditioner is usually enough to clean off the elements (dust or smoke) from the ends of your hair. Your scalp oils (sebum) usually don't reach the ends of your hair, so you don't really need to shampoo there. So you rinse out the shampoo and first conditioner. Then you put on a second conditioner, which is usually heavier, and you leave it in for however long you like and then rinse that out.
The reason why this doesn't really work with cones is that cones are only cleaned off with a sulfate shampoo. If you're using a silicone conditioner on your length, but not shampooing it off, it builds up over time, which makes your hair feel pretty bad and can even dry it out, and make it tangle more, leading to more damage. So you use shampoo on the length to prevent buildup, but the problem is, shampoo is often too stripping and drying for the length. A CWC routine is best without cones.

It seems that you have the right ingredients for a good routine. The only thing I would add is a cheap conditioner, like V05 or Suave for the first portion of CWC.

Later on, you can experiment with an SMT (honey, aloe and conditioner) and coconut oil (as a leave-in, an addition to your conditioner, or as a pre-wash oiling).

One other thing to consider with an SMT is your weather. If you live in a dry area, then the humectants in an SMT will pull the moisture out of your hair and into the air instead of attracting moisture from the air and into your hair. Check the weather report for not just humidity levels, but dew points as well.

Phew, sorry for the long post, but good luck with everything!

[aenflex]

Shower Filter. Saved my hair. Perhaps a good investment living in the hard water place that you do...

[feralnature]

Welcome!

You will have the hair of your dreams if you hang around here long enough :)

This is what I use:

(1) Suave Naturals Coconut Shampoo and Condishoner
(2) Coconut Oil (LouAna brand from Walmart from the baking section. It is the kind of coconut oil that you can eat.)
(3) Rinse hair in cool water as final rinse
(4) NEVER EVER blowdry, curl or flatten with iron.
(5) Protect hair from mechanical breakage by wearing a braid in the wind or at night while sleeping, not using rubber bands that tear hair, not ripping through hair with a brush. be very careful with each strand of hair as if it were spun gold.
(6) Eat a healthy diet and take regular vitamins, and exercise. Also, no cigarettes. You must be healthy to have nice shiney hair growing out of your scalp. Of course these changes will not help the hair you have already grown, just new hair growth.
(7) BE PATIENT! Practice benign neglect. It does not happen overnight. Don't keep meassuring your hair, or keep trimming your hair. Be kind to it but also give it time to grow out too. Before you know it, you will have a beautiful, shiney mane :)

Also, go to my 2010 album and see the straggly ends I just cut off.

[Dolly]

First off, clarify! Try some cheap, suave clarifying shampoo. Follow that with a good moisturizing conditioner.

Try doing a good overnight coconut oil soak at least a couple nights a week. The best way to get it out the next morning is to glop on a bunch of a cheap non-cone conditioner like White Rain or Suave. do this BEFORE you get any water on your hair......work it in, let it sit while you finish showering, and then rinse. some people stop right there (Its called a CO (conditioner only) wash), some follow with shampoo and conditioner (called CWC (condition wash condition)).

Since you have hard water, I would definitely try using a vinegar rinse after every wash.....it helps immensely with tangles.....



Now, about cones....when I came here, I tried to stop using them, but I found out that the no-cone thing is not a "one size fits all" solution. Some people need them, some detest them. You will figure out, in time, what yours needs. The main thing about using cones is that you do need to clarify occasionally to remove buildup when you get the velcro-y hair. Cones will help with the tangly issue while your hair is damaged.....because cones help smooth the splits and such.....

Good luck!!

[feralnature]

First off, clarify! Try some cheap, suave clarifying shampoo. Follow that with a good moisturizing conditioner.

Try doing a good overnight coconut oil soak at least a couple nights a week. The best way to get it out the next morning is to glop on a bunch of a cheap non-cone conditioner like White Rain or Suave. do this BEFORE you get any water on your hair......work it in, let it sit while you finish showering, and then rinse. some people stop right there (Its called a CO (conditioner only) wash), some follow with shampoo and conditioner (called CWC (condition wash condition)).

Since you have hard water, I would definitely try using a vinegar rinse after every wash.....it helps immensely with tangles.....



Now, about cones....when I came here, I tried to stop using them, but I found out that the no-cone thing is not a "one size fits all" solution. Some people need them, some detest them. You will figure out, in time, what yours needs. The main thing about using cones is that you do need to clarify occasionally to remove buildup when you get the velcro-y hair. Cones will help with the tangly issue while your hair is damaged.....because cones help smooth the splits and such.....

Good luck!!

I, on the other hand, do not use products with "cones".

[Sundial]

I went shopping today and bought these things to make a couple recipe for treating my hair- honey, 99% organic aloe (clear), and Tresemme silicone free (aloe/avocado) S&C as well as the Matrix/Biolage Conditioning Balm- but lost the recipes to use them in and I don't really know how often or how to use it! I also bought some coconut oil.


Based on the ingredients, it seems like you are talking about the SMT.
The ratio of the recipe is 1 part honey, 1 part aloe, and 4 parts conditioner (someone please correct me if I am wrong?)

[Aredhel77]

Hi!

I would also second Clichepithet and HintOfMint's advice to clarify and perhaps try a deep conditioner and oils slightly later in your hair experiment. The clarifying shampoo will deal quite well with any protein or product/silicone buildup. If you have a sulfate (SLS/SLES-based) shampoo you can use this to clarify, or add a small amount (half to one teaspoon perhaps) of baking soda to your normal amount of shampoo and wash with that. You can condition it normally afterwards, perhaps with a cone-free conditioner. This will give your hair a good deep clean, creating a 'clean slate,' so to speak.

Then in future washes you can try the CWC wash method as suggested and gradually start to experiment with all the other lovely techniques and recipes on here and find out what works for your hair :). Take it slow.

And welcome!!:flowers:

[spidermom]

You already have a lot of suggestions, and I'm not sure I should throw one more into the mix. But I'm going to, anyway. Keep the shampoo and conditioner that you're already using, but dilute the shampoo in some warm water. I saved an empty conditioner bottle for this and put one squirt of shampoo into about 1/2 cup of water, shake, and then squirt it all over my scalp. Then I run my fingers from forehead area toward nape several times (unless I'm bending forward to wash my hair, then it goes nape toward forehead), until I feel I have massaged my entire scalp. There won't be a lot of suds, but it very gently cleans the hair and scalp. I don't usually apply my solution to the length of my hair because it seems to get clean enough when the solution rinses through most of the time.

Oh, and I use the condition-wash-condition method.

Good luck!

[frolovsmom]

You know... You all really are a great group here and I'm excited to be welcomed by you all as well as receive your useful suggestions. I think I'm going to start with the clarifying thing this weekend and take it from there. I did look up using vinegar earlier so I'll probaby try that too. Lemme think this through and this weekend I'll begin my journey to great hair and keep you informed of my findings!!
Thank you all so much for your time and caring enough to let me know your advice!

[frolovsmom]

Ps... Got the purifier!! ;)

[frolovsmom]

OK... I really can use some advice on this...

To clarify.

Use clarifying shampoo only? Do I use any conditioner? Do I need to clarify it every wash? Do I clarify by washing CWC style with conditioner too then never use them again except when needed or do I use them for a few washes? HELP! I bought both VO5 S&C for this. remember... I do not use any hair spray or product, this is just to strip out the protein overload. I plan to start using a coconut oil/water spray as a leave in... does that need to be clarified out too?

CWC

OK. STEP #1: apply cheap VO5. Does that mean any kind? the clarifying? The coconut one? I also bought the daily clarifying Condish and coconut V05 (as one reader recommended) Conditioner. PS. my Walmart doesn't carry Suave clarifying... small town.

Then use no cone shampoo on scalp. Does this mean the Tressemme one I bought last week? Or clarifying?

Then a better conditioner. I'm guessing the Tressemme no cone condish. Or do I need to use something better here?

After all is done, with each hair cleaning. pour ACV on hair and use fingers to brush through. Do not rinse.

Please answer any/all my questions if you can! :)

[spidermom]

You can use any clarifying shampoo followed by conditioner. Since I almost always use diluted shampoo, I clarify by using full strength shampoo. It works just fine.

It only needs to be done every 3-4 months if you usually wash your hair with shampoo, which removes most things that you use on your hair - cones, styling products, oils.

When I CWC, I use the same conditioner at both ends of the routine. I usually buy matching shampoo and conditioner because not all cosmetic products are compatible. I've never had a problem using S&C that didn't match, though. I just don't make a practice of it.

[manderly]

OK... I really can use some advice on this...

To clarify.

Use clarifying shampoo only? Do I use any conditioner? Do I need to clarify it every wash? Do I clarify by washing CWC style with conditioner too then never use them again except when needed or do I use them for a few washes? HELP! I bought both VO5 S&C for this. remember... I do not use any hair spray or product, this is just to strip out the protein overload. I plan to start using a coconut oil/water spray as a leave in... does that need to be clarified out too?

CWC

OK. STEP #1: apply cheap VO5. Does that mean any kind? the clarifying? The coconut one? I also bought the daily clarifying Condish and coconut V05 (as one reader recommended) Conditioner. PS. my Walmart doesn't carry Suave clarifying... small town.

Then use no cone shampoo on scalp. Does this mean the Tressemme one I bought last week? Or clarifying?

Then a better conditioner. I'm guessing the Tressemme no cone condish. Or do I need to use something better here?

After all is done, with each hair cleaning. pour ACV on hair and use fingers to brush through. Do not rinse.

Please answer any/all my questions if you can! :)



Hold the phone! You've got information overload :D

You want to clarify? There are several options, based on personal preferences and levels of buildup.

1) Use a "clarifying" shampoo (I like Neutrogena's Anti Residue)
2) Use a regular SLS shampoo (this is usually effective for those who do not regularly use shampoo (COers) or use non-commercial cleansers like poo bars or soapnuts)
3) Add a sprinkle of baking soda to whatever shampoo or conditioner you have handy (this can be the "strongest" and most drying of the options listed but it works in a pinch if you don't have anything else on hand or you have a real buildup situation)

Pick any ONE of the options I've listed above. There, you've just clarified. Now we have to close the cuticle (especially if you used the BS method) and add lots of moisture (clarifying can be very drying). Clarifying is on an "as needed" basis, not to be done at every wash.

To close the cuticle just add a capfull or two of vinegar (or a squeeze of lemon) to a big cup of water and dunk your ends and then dump over your hair. This may or may not be rinsed, it is entirely up to you.

Moisturize with whatever conditioner you like, and you can leave in a bit too. This is something that requires experimenting.




Now, you are planning on CWC in the future? This is pretty simple, and people have their own methods. Typically is it apply a cheap conditioner, either to your whole head or just the ends, apply shampoo to your scalp and lather, rinse, then apply either the same conditioner or a heavier one. You can't do this "wrong", it's again a matter of personal preference.

Hope that helps, and welcome :flower:

[frolovsmom]

Thank you! thank you! Spidermom and Manderly! I think I will do this next wash..

V05 clarifying shampoo all over. vinegar/water on ends and pour to fix cuticle. Use cone free condish from ears down and rinse. after shower, spray with coconut oil/water mix for a leave in. DONE

Next shower... and after that for a while... CWC with cone free condish - cone free shampoo- same cone free condish. after shower, spray with coconut oil/water mix.

Take back to the store: clarifying condish / daily clarifying condish/ both coconut shampoo and condish since it looks like I won't be using them.

Since it is cheap... can I use the coconut conditioner for the first part of the CWC? I don't remember reading that it is cone free.

How does that sound??

[clichepithet]

It is advisable in the beginning to modify your products and/or routines one at a time. Otherwise it can be difficult to tell what is working and what is not working. I'm with manderly on this one, information overload. ;) :flowers:

[HoneyJubilee]

Shower Filter. Saved my hair. Perhaps a good investment living in the hard water place that you do...

Is there a brand you recommend? I saw one shower filter on Sephora's website, but I have no idea how that one compares to others in quality or price.

[leslissocool]

You can do a pre-wash treatment too, with the coconut oil. I had fried hair, and this saved it and made it feel so amazing!

-Wet your hair with water only
-warm up the coconut oil (heat it up like a baby bottle, with hot water and let it sit until it's warm but not enough to burn your hands while handling it)
- put the oil in your hands and kind of massage it into your hair, from the ends to your scalp
- You can leave it up overnight, or what I do is that I use my electrical heat pad (I have back problems) and put it on top of my little shower hat, an then wrap a towel around it. I leave it for about 30 minutes. I come hang out and read posts while I do it, since I do it late and everyone is asleep.
- Than take a shower, wash you hair with shampoo and conditioner.


It will feel amazing! I think the heat with coconut oil helps it penetrate. Make sure when you are washing your hair to not use super warm water. Use it at body temperature.

:) the rest of the advice from the others is just amazing! I'm going to try some too :D

Ps. Try not to dye your hair, it might just be really damage from the "box" color you use to color it...Mine was just horrible :( and now have successfully 8 months without applying hair dye, and last time I did it was a very professional, non damaging one. It really made a difference.