Curly Disaster

[KellyGormley]

Ok. So I've had curly hair most of my life and for awhile I abused it quite a bit, but its been about a year since I've decided to embrace my curls. However they are still a mess. No matter what I do my hair is frizzy, dry, knots very easily, and breaks off or falls out. I lose so much hair its not even funny. My hair used to be so thick I could wrap a ponytail around it once and it would stay, now i wrap it two or three times for it to stay. I have not stopped my shedding phase since last year and its only getting worse.( My doctor contributes my shedding problem to stress ) Knot wise my hair is a disaster. If i wear it down to bed its a big mess, if i wear it up its a big mess. No matter what I do I get one big rats nest knot in the back of my hair. I love my curls and growing out my hair, but I cant do anything with it. I always wear it up or clipped back. Someone please help me save my frizzy, dry, mess of hair. :(

[PeonyGarden]

Oh honey - I totally sympathize with you. Would you mind giving us an overview of your usual routine? It would give us an idea of what might not be working, and what could possibly be changed to see improvement.

[KellyGormley]

I shampoo once a week with either mixed chicks shampoo or pantene beautiful lengths ( half shampoo , half aloe mix ). I condition with John Frieda Root awakening, and then leave in alittle of Loreal Ever pure conitioner. When I get out of the shower I put a little bit of either ouidad climate control gel in my hair or pantene curly mouse.

[GRU]

Have you ever tried going cone-free and doing some version of the Curly Girl or the Tightly Curly methods?

My hair has been soooo much happier since I stopped fighting with it and started feeding it properly!

[manderly]

I don't know your hair type, but most curlies don't like shampoo or silicones in their hair....some do, don't misunderstand, but many benefit from eliminating those products. Since you aren't happy, I would suggest starting there.

Switching to COing with cone-free products and using a bunch of it as a leave-in would be the first major change I'd make to see how my hair responds.

I wish you luck, and check out the wurly and curly thread for more ideas and help :flower:

[Dolly]

Also, I have straight hair, but a friend of mine who has extremely curly hair tells me that one of the things she did to help eliminate tangles is to drop the mousse and gel....they generally make the hairs stick together, which can cause additional issues.....maybe try some pure aloe gel to tame them instead?

CO'ing would probably also be a good thing for you to try.......

[Cheeks1206]

Condition, condition, condition. It sounds like your hair isn't well enough moisturized Without knowing your routine, I cant really suggest much else. I will say that cutting out shampoos with sulfates and conditioners with silicones, like Manderly suggests has help my hair quite a bit.

[Siava]

Satin pillow case. If you're not using one now, please give it a try along with the other suggestions you've received.

[girlcat36]

Everything that you say you are using in your hair would be death to my curls!!!!
I had horribly frizzy, tangly, knotty hair until I gave up silicones.
I have babyfine hair, so I still need to use shampoo, but I use a heavy cone-free moisturizing conditioner afterwards, and I leave it in(even though it is not specified as a 'leave-in').
Giving up silicones is not enough, though. You must clarify your hair to get all that build up off it that is making it like frizzy velcro.
I don't use any styling products on my curls, I find they make things worse in the long run.
Good luck!

[TrudieCat]

My hair's not that curly but it's majorly frizzy, and leave-in conditioner is my friend. I use regular conditioner as a leave-in, and I use a LOT. Like a whole palm full. It's the only thing that works for me. I would never have thought that I could use so much conditioner without rinsing it out until I tried it. My guess is that your hair wants more moisture, whether you use cones or not. I'd also look into deep treatments (SMT is popular here - a search on it will yield a lot of results, and there is also an official thread for it), and the Curly Girl and Tightly Curly methods that others suggested. It might take some experimentation, so be patient, but you'll get there as you try different things and learn more about what your hair likes and doesn't like! Good luck!! :blossom:

[pilateschick7]

Another vote for satin pillow case:)

Eliminating cones and moisture really helped me appreciate my curls.

Using something like VO5 / Suave / White Rain to Cowash and a very moisturizing conditioner like
1) Lustrasilk Shea Mango Conditioner in a tub from (Sally's )
2) Biolage conditioning balm (or Sally's beauty supply version)
3) Curl Junkie Conditioners
http://www.curljunkie.com/
Curl Junkie is online only but will have a big black Friday sale soon. I have loved everything that I have tried so far. There is also a product selection guide that might help.

The owner also has a blog that gives some very good pro curly advice. The second blog post entitled "How to keep your curls from drying out" might be useful to you.
http://curljunkie.blogspot.com/


I did a google fu search and they can be found on Amazon.com now. This means I can sneak hair products in with the purchase of other items:)

Using a cone free leave in and curl defining creams instead of Mouse really worked well for me.

HTH

[Vermelha]

Like everyone else said, conditioner will be your friend. Oils are too. Acidic and tea rinses also bring back the shine and resiliency of the hair. There are a lot of things. Discover =)

[jeanniet]

Definitely a satin pillowcase or sleep cap. I use both, and they're probably the #1 thing that's helped me to not have to fight my hair all the time. I used to wake up to a tangled, knotted mess and would rip/break hair trying to control it. Now I can wake up and literally fingercomb my hair in a few minutes.

I agree with all the advice to moisturize/condition. I don't use leave in conditioners because it's dusty here and the dust seems to be attracted to conditioners more than oils. I lightly oil my ends every day, and use a mister bottle combination of aloe/oil that seems to work well. I CO wash once a week, and do a deep treatment beforehand (conditioner, aloe, oil, honey, bananas). I don't use styling products, and shampoo only rarely.

I think if you make some changes you might be very surprised and pleased with how well your hair responds. Good luck! :D

[sailing]

I've got to use shampoo (esp with salt spray in my hair from ocean, gak) and I am a coney addict. My hair does actually like cones because otherwise my hair knots up, I've got to use the cones to get my hairs to slip vs knot.

Satin pillowcase is a huge help.

At night, I wet my hair, slather it in conditioner (Garnier Triple Oil right now), then put it in a few braids. One braid is too fat and uncomfy to sleep in. I normally go with 2 on the top section, then the bottom depends on how lazy I am feeling - 1 or 3 is normal. Then in the am - if I'm really really lazy, I will just take the 3 or 5 braids, braid them together and go. Then shower, shampoo and condition heavily, then very very carefully comb out. Then leave it to air dry or braid again or whatever.

Oh, big thing - be VERY careful with combing. I start with a super wide tooth comb on hair that has detangling mix soaked in it. Then I go to a wide tooth, resoaking with the mix if I need. Then to a medium/normal tooth comb. I keep a chopstick and fine knitting needle with me that I use to break up any knots that might need the assist.

A brush will never touch my hair. That just sets me up for a problem.

[eezepeeze]

I'm not sure what your curl pattern is like, but you may find this video helpful. It's how I care for my curly hair. It's a modified version of the curly girl method. Not using cones just doesn't work for me. I need them to kill the frizz. This way of doing it really works well for me and I can usually get 2-3 days out of it if I wear a sleep cap at night. Let me know if you try it and how it works for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBgAZRmrR3k

[abritta3]

Start with a moisturizing treatment with Suave or another silicone free conditioner. Then I would recommend beginning a regimine with no silicones. My hair has really changed for the better since I did this! I hope this helps :)

[Athena's Owl]

Someone please help me save my frizzy, dry, mess of hair. :(

you can buy an e-book online called live Curly, Live Free. I have it and it's very good.

The other choices are print books - Curly Girl and Teri LaFlesh's new book curly like me.

[JulietCapulet]

I know...having curly thick hair can be tough because our society tells us it's not as pretty as straight hair. The very reason tomorrow I go yet again to abuse my hair into straightness for an important meeting. Arg. But what I do, is I look for images of models etc with curly hair etc. and I put them on my wall. I have one I pulled out of Bazaar I think it was and it makes me feel better! I can tell the models hair is naturally curly because it does the same little uneven tendrils mine does. Listen, curly hair has personality...and it can make you look young and free. As far as how to tame it...this is advice from Rachelle Lefevre, my hair idol (photo below): wash hair and don't brush it after you wash it. Then ad some kind of smoothing serum and then leave alone. Here is a site for her: http://www.lockandmane.com/blog/2010/01/28/hair-crush-rachelle-lefevre/

I wish you the best fellow curly hair! Also there is a book called "Curly Girl", you might like it!
http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=curly+girl&hl=en&prmd=ivsb&resnum=3&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=18324399998245343507&sa=X&ei=Tx7RTIDjJsGBlAeQnunTDA&ved=0CFYQ8gIwAA#

[KellyGormley]

Thank You all so so Much. I tried the curly girl method and even the very first day I saw a huge difference in my hair. My hair is shinier, less frizzy, more managable, softer, and my curls held so well. I went to by a helmet today for my boyfriends motorcycle, and after trying on helmets not only was my hair still curly, it didnt frizz. I cut out all cones, and no more shampoo for me. I tried plopping as well, i look so silly but it was so worth it. You all saved my hair thank you !

[GRU]

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

So glad to hear that things are going so much better for you so quickly!!!