hair withdrawal.

[jenwexler]

Ok so it has been 2 weeks since I cut my hair cut to the shortest it's ever been to get rid of damage. it seems it has grown a lot...but it's getting into the awkward stage and I am starting to go through pictures with me with long hair. I seriously miss it right now and I don't know how to cope with my annoying short hair. I don't have time to wear make up lately so now I look like a semi-attractive boy. Any ideas how I can cope?

[tinywife]

My hair is just 4" long in the back, so I feel your pain! Try sporting a super-feminine headband, or some pearl barrettes. I know a little bit of something pretty goes a long way towards making you feel girlish again.

[jenwexler]

thank you! i've been sporting hats but it's just so hot here lately.

[tinywife]

I know...here too! Plus I can't wear hats to work.

[jenwexler]

Worst part is....the way my hair is growing in makes me look like my ex boyfriend and that just isn't right haha. I do see a lot of growth compared to when I chopped it though

[LaurelSpring]

Awkward phases are so hard. I dont have alot of advice but just hang in there. Keep reminding yourself that it is growing and growing all of the time.

[jenwexler]

It's so hard. I don't like looking manly...like its jus touching my shoulders, but since my hair is in a shag cut, it looks kinda boyish

[ddiana1979]

Scarves look pretty, IMO, as do accent barrettes or combs w/ rhinestones or other decoration. And you definitely won't look manly with rhinestone combs in your hair. ;)

[jenwexler]

Haha I sure hope so otherwise I'd have a huge problem.

[Athena's Owl]

It's been two weeks since you got your hair cut. I think you need more time. I don't know why you went for a short haircut when it's long hair that you want, but it's got to be frustrating right now at any rate.

but if you're afraid of looking male, I think you may wish to turn to feminine hair accents...

[jenwexler]

I cut it shorter to get rid of all my damage. I know it'll grow back but the awkward stage is realllly starting to kick in

[KittyLost]

My hair is also just touching my shoulders and I can tie it back and put it in a sock bun, if you dress it up with accessories or put in some nice earrings (assuming you have your ears pierced) it helps a little. I also feel I look like a 12year old boy with my hair like this haha, so I kept my fringe to keep me looking a little feminine otherwise it's a diasater for me.

[jenwexler]

Yea i still have my side swept bangs thank god haha.

[virgo75]

When my hair was in a pixie(if you can even call it that - it was so short >_< ) the 2 things I never left home without were - earrings & lip gloss. Most days I also wore mascara, but if I didn't have time then lip gloss and earrings kept me from feeling like I looked like a boy. :oops:

Quick and easy. Hoops go with everything if you can't find or don't want to wear anything else.

2nd the suggestions of cute barrettes, headbands, and scarves. Except I would roll or fold the scarf into a headband.

Don't worry, your hair will grow out quickly. ;)

[crystal_89]

I used to wear a lot of headbands with bows on them or bobby pins with flowers for a girly look.

[surfguy87]

I share you uncomfort, my hair however is drastically ruined. [check out the links below]

Story and frustrations
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=57703

Further frustrations
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=58319

[rags]

I just chopped my BSL hair into a long pixie. I share your frustrations. I went and got my ears pierced yesterday so that I could wear pretty earrings. And put away all my hair toys and went and got some blingy barrettes. I have several headbands and forsee them getting lots of use too. Here's hoping we both get our long hair back SOON!!

[morecowbell]

I feel your pain! Ive been through this stage twice recently, and one suggestion I haven't seen yet is snoods
http://ericleetroyer.com/wp-content/uploads/snoodjpg.jpeg
You can get them at most African American aimed beauty supplies in many colors.
I work at W**mart and I've been able to wear them with no problems at all... I think the rule about no hats at work is so you aren't covering your eyes. (but ask first just in case)
I think snoods add elegance and femininity to even the shortest cut :D

Good vibes your way, dear! :)

[jenwexler]

That's a really cute hat. my knit cap helps a little but isn't as elegant looking as that.

[Igor]

Well, first of all: You have a very important lesson here; You don’t like short hair on you. Just think about that… You will never ever be tempted and angst over wanting a “drastic change”! You know what you like on yourself now and its not something all women get to :wink:

I know the feeling of being un-feminine! I went through that one myself and I’m not a makeup and skirts-girl either. You can girly it up with playing with hair bands, small claw clips for holding mini-buns, sparkly bobby pins and experimenting with your parting

:flowers: Hang in there, it gets better!

[jenwexler]

Hopefully. I only cut it to get rid of damage. It's so hard to be patient I can't wait for it to at least be a little past my shoulders. I bought so many headbands....I think maybe I need more knit caps.

[Eolan]

I know it's the hardest thing, but patience is key here. I would suggest you keep away from pictures of you in long hair if that makes you frustrated and unconfortable. Bobby pins and small barettes were good friends of mine when I had short hair like you. Your hair will grow out, hang in there!

[bunzfan]

Just wanted to add about 6 years ago i did a similar thing and cut my mid back length hair into a pixie crop and instantly hated it, i have been growing it ever since and now appreciate my longer hair. Keep with it you to will appreciate each stage you reach and least it will be damage free :)

[jenwexler]

Thanks for the support, everybody =]

[torrilin]

Some of your frustration is the shag. They're a *lot* of work and hair product to maintain on straight hair, and really a shag is happier if you add some curl. Not fun when you're used to long hair and can just shove it into a bun or braid. From far too much experience.... pixie grown into a chin length bob and then head straight down will work better on straight hair. It is a lot better to play to your hair type's styling strengths when you're growing out.

Some of your frustration is also the labels you're sticking on yourself. Stoppit. You do not automatically look like a boy because your hair isn't down to your waist. Really! Calling yourself names and saying bad things about yourself is just awful. No. Not allowed. No amount of makeup, jewelry and pretty hair toys will help if you keep telling yourself you look like a boy. (and since I can't wear earrings due to a nickel sensitivity, react to lots of makeup and have super slippery hair that can't use most hair toys... I would not have made it through without being nice to myself)

For me the biggest consolation is my hair grows quickly, so if I stick to what works, I'd already have the option of French braids and ponytails at your length. Once I can manage a ponytail, I'm back to normal, and I don't fuss over my hair.

[jenwexler]

Thank you for your honesty I really appreciate it. I should stop beating myself up about it.

[jojo]

I was going to suggest scarves, headbands and pretty hair clips.

It may not seem like it now but never in your hair growing experience will you ever notice such changes and obvious growth. Enjoy each step and if you want inspiration I suggest looking Igor's photo's or others who have grown from bald or very short and remember to take photos of your own progress, todays frustrations and tomorrows inspirations to other in the future who will go through this.

Good look and I totally admire you for having the balls to start afresh!

[Qwackie]

I have the same problem. My hair looks like a typical "emo" style, side bangs, shaggy, lots of layers. Maybe wearing more girly clothes would work? I don't know, really. I act like a guy, so it just adds to the problem.

[jenwexler]

I actually chose the shag because my hair is extremely thick. The layers really calm down the thickness. And the ends are curling a little so I do have some sort of definition, even if I have some cowlicks. I feel I would look worse if it was a one layer pixie cut. Thanks again for the support everyone =] I'm just thankful I can still make a tiny ponytail.

[Jessica Trapp]

Girly earrings? Hairtoys?

[FrannyG]

I've been there and I know how you feel. I suggest what others have suggested; feminine scarves headbands and clips, and nice earrings.

Even if you don't have enough time to put on makeup, there's always time to put on a bit of lipstick or lip gloss, if that would make you feel better.

Above all, I agree with torrilin, that you need to change your attitude and thinking about the way you look. See yourself the way you really are, not the way you think you look. You are not a boy and I am quite sure you don't look like a boy.

Stop pining over your old photos with long hair, as well. You'll get back there again soon enough.

And Jojo is right; you will zip through this phase of growth before you know it.

Also, you've gotten rid of all of that damage. You're starting your new long hair journey with a clean slate! Just imagine how awesome it will look in a year's time with all of the good care you'll be giving it. :blossom:

[surfguy87]

Good advice from everyone.

Im a guy and have a simular problem but I look like a 12 year old.
You would not believe the state of my hair. The thing to do is;

- Remove all pictures of yourself with long hair (as already suggested).
- Wear a hat or clips etc.
- Focus on something else be it work or learning something new etc.
- Stop talking about hair (maybe restrain from visiting these forums it's a great place, but with so many people with beautiful hair..it's a bit heartbreaking).

Learn to forget.

[jenwexler]

Maybe I should be more serious about the updo challenge and keep my hair up n a pony tal more without checking the length of the new growth.

[embee]

Big earrings. Very feminine and gave me something swinging near my face and neck.

[LawyerGirl]

There's a lot of shorties here. Join us. :)
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=18405

[CaityBear]

Best thing to do is wear lots of cute hair accesories! I have a whole bunch of cute ones that I've built up over the years (I used to have chin length hair) but with my long hair I don't wear them that much anymore because they get tangled in my hair too much sometimes.

But they're so cute! :) Just try to be creative with what you do with your hair and imagine it growing and how excited you'll be when it's the length you want! I always picture my hair the length I want and it gets me very excited. hehe

[WinterInBloom]

Everybody has already given you some great ideas about accessories and all that. :) I thought I'd share what I do on days that I really don't have time for makeup.

So generally when I don't have time, I can at least find 3-5 min to do makeup, and I really only need three. I follow these steps:

1. Apply concealer on dark circles. (if you don't really have any or don't mind not covering them, then merrily skip this step;))

2. Curl lashes. (another step to skip if your lashes curl naturally, unlike mine which grow straight down like a camel's.:p)

3. Apply mascara.

4. If you're feeling really fancy or just need to look more awake apply a highlighter eye shadow to the center of your lids, the inner corners of your eyes, and to your brow bones. (Sounds like it would take longer than it really does, it's really about 10 seconds, 15 if you're movin' slow.)

5. Swipe on a little blush.

So there you go, makeup in 3min flat. You could get down to two if you don't need/want to conceal dark circles or have to curl your lashes.

[jenwexler]

I try to have a series of hair length goals so long doesn't seem as far away...first i want my shortest layer to hit my chin....it's just above my ear.

[surfguy87]

Ok so it has been 2 weeks since I cut my hair cut to the shortest it's ever been to get rid of damage. it seems it has grown a lot...but it's getting into the awkward stage and I am starting to go through pictures with me with long hair. I seriously miss it right now and I don't know how to cope with my annoying short hair. I don't have time to wear make up lately so now I look like a semi-attractive boy. Any ideas how I can cope?


How are you sleeping?

I've found since having my hair chopped off I haven't been able to sleep, at all. It's affected my psyche to such a degree that I am looking back instead of forwards, and that feeling prevents me from settling.

[jenwexler]

My sleep is extremely erratic. I hope it doesn't effect my growth. I can't sleep at night and I can't stop taking day naps...I know the naps interfere with my sleep pattern agh.

[surfguy87]

Same. To me this is proof that sudden hair loss really affects the mental state and can cause depression. I bet the first thing you think of when you wake is your loss of hair. Also, you turn down (or consider turning down) opportunities to socialise because of your hair.

[Kristin]

I didn't read the whole thread, so maybe someone suggested this, but pretty, dangley earrings always help me feel more feminine.

[jenwexler]

Same. To me this is proof that sudden hair loss really affects the mental state and can cause depression. I bet the first thing you think of when you wake is your loss of hair. Also, you turn down (or consider turning down) opportunities to socialise because of your hair.

Ehh well I'm not depressed about my hair. I've been having sleep issues before I cut it. I've been going to social events but i put up my hair so no one can tell the length.

[DecafJane]

Igor is my hair guru. Look to her and her photos and guides for guidance. :D
They got me through the first time I grew out from a pixie. It is really nice to know where you are going next and roughly how long it will take.

[jenwexler]

That is very true.

[thatjengirl1]

its soo hard to grow out long hair. it takes so much longer than we would like it to grow. the only time i can forget about my hair is when something is going on with my life. other than that. i'm all obsessed and inpatient. just waiting..waiting...waiting

[jenwexler]

I understand. It was easier when I was little because eventually I forgot about my hair plus it grew fast.

[fairy_ends_girl]

i think you are absolutely adorable with short hair. Have fun experimenting with cute barrettes and scarves. You do not look like a boy! Cutting off the damaged hair was the right thing to do, now you can grow out fresh new healthy hair.

[Speckla]

Do some funky twists and rolls and use bobbypins and other hair toys. I had short, short hair 3 years ago and was able to do a lot of styles that made it appear longer.

[myria]

I agree with about the long earrings. And pretty bobby pins to secure your flyaways (claire's or etsy is a good place to start).
Also maybe a bright scarf and a cloche hat in the winter.

[jenwexler]

I've been doing a lot of cute half up dos now that my hair got a tad longer. Braids, fishtail braids, and twists really make the half up dos look more interesting.

[heidi w.]

The idea of cutting was to remove damage, so focus on really caring for your hair well. I would recommend changing to a side part, and use decorative clips to hold back sections of hair off the face.

Wake up early enough for work to fix your hair, so you feel good about you.

Make sure to wear feminine elements such as earrings, or a necklace or a pretty bracelet, or that shoes match.....

Mostly, spend a little more time, create the time, to dress for work or whatever you're doing. I know it's hard in snow country to look nice in winter, but it can be done.

What about a cute hat that sets off your face?

Mostly, come up with a makeup routine, too, that enables you to easily apply, maybe just mascara and lipstick, for example, that doesn't take a ton of time.

If you're not feeling feminine enough, then create a schedule that allows you to be dressed so you feel feminine. That's my biggest suggestion, along with focusing on caring for your hair well.

heidi w.

[jenwexler]

I 'm doing a lot better with making my hair more feminine and I see a change in growth. I am still impatient but I've decided not to cut until I just can't stand it anymore lol.

[HintOfMint]

Just grit your teeth and it will be over soon. I had to do a big chop too, a few years back, and prior to that, my hair was kind of my signature. It was one of the things that, in my mind, MADE me attractive and I didn't feel attractive without it.

I learned to do my makeup in 1 minute flat. To this day I can still do liquid eyeliner in 15 seconds. Also, skirts and heels, my friend, skirts and heels, even during the day.

[jenwexler]

I'm good with makeup but when it's longer I kind of just want to barely wear makeup.... I don't think I'll need much by then...I actually only wear eyeliner now on most days...Plus my skin looks a lot nicer from the vitamins so that helps a lot.

[kteachone]

It's so hard. I don't like looking manly...like its jus touching my shoulders, but since my hair is in a shag cut, it looks kinda boyish

I feel boyish too when I have short hair. But on the bright side, you get to wear all the adorable clips that us long haired gals can't!

[jenwexler]

It's gotten just a little past shoulders thank god. It's more tolerable as long as I keep it half up.

[jenwexler]

I'm growing impatient again ahh!!!! ALL of my friends have long hair but me this is really frustrating.

[Gabriel]

You are very cute and can get away with short or long hair. (I'm saying this in a very non creepy way!) It's actually a good time for you try it and now you know it's not for you for future reference.

I know it doesn't seem like it to you but by your avatar and *peeks at your blog* and blog pictures I think you have some pretty fast growth.

Believe it or not, most of your friends at some point or another will have shorter hair than you. Either they will cut or your hair will simply be longer than their's eventually.

Heck, in a few months you'll be at bra strap length, which is to most of the world "really long hair".

For now play up the fabulous texture you have and your hair's great thickness.

Check out some old Charmed episode's and watch Alyssa Milano's great short hair changes and the styles she rocks. You could pull any of them off. Try out some finger waves! That would look so elegant on you!

Shannyn Sossamon is another actress who rocks awesome short hair at times.

All of your friends have long hair, but they do not have the awesomeness that is your hair right now nor it's versatility. Have fun with it!

[jenwexler]

Ahh I'll try! Thank you! I think the problem is that Valentines Day is around the corner and typically people are looking for their valentines now if they're already single...and I just don't feel as attractive without my long hair agh. I need to get over that. I know I could have it a lot worse but my impatience is such an issue.

[oktobergoud]

I feel your pain, even though I do not feel unattractive with short hair (although I do feel cuter when I have long hair, but to me, long hair on me is a bob :P), but I WANT LONG HAIR AND I WANT IT NOW. Sigh, it takes so long! I use tons of headbands and clips etc. as well, but the thing is I can't wear anything extreme at work. So maybe a small black pin or a small black headband, but nothing like my outrageous flower headbands :( I hate that!

[jenwexler]

Yep and I refuse to have a weave or extensions or what ever. they can leave bald spots.