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View Full Version : Is There A "Social Ponytail Rule" For We Men?!



yellowchariot
October 23rd, 2010, 12:19 PM
. . . Because if there is, I do not follow the guidelines!

I've heard, and overheard many females say that when a man wears his hair in a ponytail, it should be "low" to "very low". Which, is considered the "acceptable" standard of wear.

I normally wear mine in the center of my head to distribute the weight. Sometimes I will pull it back just slightly center with my eye sight.

I wonder why that is? This is actually a common idea in the region, where I live. Has anyone else heard of this concept as well? Also, I wonder why this is such an important matter? I appreciate your thoughts, ideas, and opinions! Thanks!

pilateschick7
October 23rd, 2010, 12:27 PM
LOL...you speak of the "Duncan Mac Cloud of the Clan Mac Cloud" syndrome. The TV series from the Mid 1990's.

Wear your pony tail where it is the most comfortable:)

Maverick494
October 23rd, 2010, 12:27 PM
Yeah, they think the same way where I live. Anything else is deemed "too feminine".
It's just stereotypical BS in my opinion. I think that if a guy has long hair (which is rare these days because many guys have receding hairlines and thinning hair from a young age) he should be able to wear it in any way he sees fit without having to suffer prejudiced remarks from anyone.

2peasinapod
October 23rd, 2010, 12:31 PM
I guess I'm just lucky, because I've never heard of that where I live. The few guys I see with long hair wear it however they want. I think you should do the same. :)

yellowchariot
October 23rd, 2010, 12:32 PM
LOL...you speak of the "Duncan Mac Cloud of the Clan Mac Cloud" syndrome. The TV series from the Mid 1990's.

Wear your pony tail where it is the most comfortable:)


^ LOL The Highlander :luke: I should just carry a sword around with me, so it "looks normal" :p

I noticed that you were also from TN, that is also the region I'm referring to, as well as VA! LOL


Yeah, they think the same way where I live. Anything else is deemed "too feminine".
It's just stereotypical BS in my opinion. I think that if a guy has long hair (which is rare these days because many guys have receding hairlines and thinning hair from a young age) he should be able to wear it in any way he sees fit without having to suffer prejudiced remarks from anyone.

^ Thanks for your input Maverick! I appreciate that.

slz
October 23rd, 2010, 12:33 PM
My BF wears his ponytail high up there, in a kind of japanese-bun-way. I agree about Maverick's point a view about it being perceived as "feminine" by most - utter BS, I agree.

Sagi1982
October 23rd, 2010, 12:37 PM
^ LOL The Highlander :luke: I should just carry a sword around with me, so it "looks normal" :p

Don't forget the kilt hose!! :eyebrows:

yellowchariot
October 23rd, 2010, 12:41 PM
My BF wears his ponytail high up there, in a kind of japanese-bun-way. I agree about Maverick's point a view about it being perceived as "feminine" by most - utter BS, I agree.

^ slz, I personally think that is one of the coolest methods to wear a ponytail. Though I struggle to get all of my hair upward in one smooth direction.


Don't forget the kilt hose!! :eyebrows:

^ Sagi, I forgot about that! I need the kilt! lol

Sagi1982
October 23rd, 2010, 12:44 PM
slz, exactly this style was worn by some old German folk groups, too. :agree:

@yellowchariot: Want to see a pic! :cheese:

spidermom
October 23rd, 2010, 01:01 PM
I'm more used to seeing low ponytails on men, so seeing a higher one would be unusual. I don't see one as more correct than the other, however. Seeing buns on men is unusual as well. In fact, I've never seen one in real life.

AreWild
October 23rd, 2010, 01:04 PM
I've heard that med are only supposed to wear low ponytails, but agree that it's BS. When the Mr. had long hair he wore his ponytails mid-high. The whole point was to cool off by keeping the hair off his neck, and a low ponytail doesn't achieve that at all. He never got any flack for it, not that he would have cared. I say go for what's comfy.

Angeletti
October 23rd, 2010, 01:06 PM
I would say center or lower are both fine, whatever is more comfortable to you. I'm not a fan of high ponytails on top of the head and would probably think that was strange but that's just my own opinion : )

Jenw777
October 23rd, 2010, 01:07 PM
I think as long as you aren't walking around with an uber high peppy cheer pony or a high off to the side like a Valley Girl pony, you should be fine :-)

slz
October 23rd, 2010, 01:09 PM
I'm more used to seeing low ponytails on men, so seeing a higher one would be unusual.
I'd happily share a pic, however, he'd kill me for posting his face on Da Interwebz shudder: :D .

trolleypup
October 23rd, 2010, 01:17 PM
I'm more used to seeing low ponytails on men, so seeing a higher one would be unusual. I don't see one as more correct than the other, however. Seeing buns on men is unusual as well. In fact, I've never seen one in real life.
And buns on LHC men don't count, I think. Heh. Come visit SF, plenty around here!

Themyst
October 23rd, 2010, 01:19 PM
I was watching episode of Sons of Anarchy the other night, and one of the guys (biker) was wearing a high ponytail (back of head,but not low), he looked really good in it. You can't get much more manly than a biker dude!

enfys
October 23rd, 2010, 01:41 PM
I don't usually see anything other than low ponytails but I always assumed it was because men seem to rarely stray from the centre parting when they have long hair and it's hard to keep your parting and have a high pony.

I don't think it's find it odd if I ever saw it; I'm pretty sure I never have though. I didn't realise there was some kind of social rule about it though. I always put it down to the parting thing.

Roseate
October 23rd, 2010, 01:54 PM
Ooo, so now am I too masculine if I wear my ponytail low? I must look like a caveman, with it down at my nape!

Catia
October 23rd, 2010, 02:06 PM
I prefer the way it looks when hubby wears his ponytail higher. It's very rare though.

I just figured men wore their hair low because it takes less 'fussing' to get it there. :shrug:

Wear your hair however you like. Confidence is manly. Even in a tutu.

adiapalic
October 23rd, 2010, 02:13 PM
First and only time I've ever seen a guy in real life with a bun was the vocalist (http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/128/l_0506b87165d44f8b94fa3583eb21acd3.jpg) for a local band here called, The Consumers (http://www.myspace.com/theconsumersroc).

I thought it looked great, actually.

ETA: Here's a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOhl7eYAnFg&feature=mfu_in_order&playnext=1&videos=k6FBei9Mnnc) of them performing. The vocalist has his hair down here though.

Neneka
October 23rd, 2010, 02:19 PM
I saw just now two french braids on a man and it looked interesting. And yeah, confidence is manly.

Yozhik
October 23rd, 2010, 02:21 PM
Yellowchariot, now that you mention it, I do tend to see low ponytails on men. I never really thought about why that might be the case, though . . .

Just consulted with DBF, and asked him where he used to wear his ponytail when he had longer hair -- his answer was "low." Although I do recall him also wearing (and rocking) a Samurai-style topknot.

Interesting question!

Zaane
October 23rd, 2010, 02:30 PM
I think it's safe to say that most men wear low ponytails for the sake of not looking girly....i honestly dont care about what people think about what i look like if im rockin a high ponytail or french braids or corn rows, whatever :). But I do look awfully girly so maybe im a bad example...... LOL

Gumball
October 23rd, 2010, 02:37 PM
It must be a regional thing. I mean most guys with ponytails tend to have them low here, but if they don't nobody thinks any different. Of course that must mean I'm way out in left field what with the stick and head doorknob. Definitely go with the MacLeod way of things! Whatever is comfortable and works. And his ties always had a bit of flair, too. Win win! If anybody gave him flak, well the sword is a really good good deterrent.

And in his younger days Connor would have agreed with it completely, too! So would Juan Sanchez Villalobos Ramirez. :D

Wear it how you want, do it with confidence, and rock on. That's the kicker.

neon-dream
October 23rd, 2010, 02:42 PM
I don't think it makes much difference where a man wears his pony tail, just like a woman. :)

yellowchariot
October 23rd, 2010, 03:52 PM
Ooo, so now am I too masculine if I wear my ponytail low? I must look like a caveman, with it down at my nape!

^ No way, Roseate, your pics look amazing and very feminine! It is just a social role that I've noticed that seems to be down playing on most of the men, in my region.

Thanks for everyone's input. Also some of you, have noticed this in your neck of the woods as well. Perhaps when long(er) hair start to catch on and spread in a wider area of various regions, especially in the U.S. things like this won't be so much of a "rule". I have noticed a boom in more guys wearing/growing out their hair long(er).

Though I'm still curious as to how this whole men and low ponytail concept was brought about.

MandyBeth
October 23rd, 2010, 04:08 PM
If DF is wearing a ponytail, it's almost always tied with another loc or two, and then it's more comfortable low.

If he does an English braid tho, he likes to do the Dilyana(?) start.

He will let me put his hair up in a central ponytail, then divide it into 9 groups and braid each of those. It's a Ty o' nine tails :)

Gumball
October 23rd, 2010, 04:13 PM
He will let me put his hair up in a central ponytail, then divide it into 9 groups and braid each of those. It's a Ty o' nine tails :)

:rollin: Whip it good! :whip: :bigtongue:

Khepri
October 23rd, 2010, 04:27 PM
I'd say do whatever you like. I've seen men rock low and high pony's, top knots, buns, braids...

I think it's utter nonsense when people try to tell others what they should or shouldn't do. It's your hair, and you are completely entitled to do whatever you want with it.

Laylah
October 23rd, 2010, 04:55 PM
I used to think that way too, and I kind of still do. A high swishy ponytail always seems more of a girly thing to me than a low one. But after seeing a guy friend wear a medium-high half-tucked ponytail, I've changed my mind- it doesn't look feminine at all, but then again his hair is curly and a bit dry so it doesn't "swish".

EdG
October 23rd, 2010, 05:03 PM
My theory is that the low ponytail comes from the same line of thinking that when viewed from behind, men and women must be distinguishable by hair alone.

That the man would naturally have the low ponytail while the woman would have the high ponytail is just... silly. :silly:
Ed

yellowchariot
October 23rd, 2010, 05:04 PM
I used to think that way too, and I kind of still do. A high swishy ponytail always seems more of a girly thing to me than a low one. But after seeing a guy friend wear a medium-high half-tucked ponytail, I've changed my mind- it doesn't look feminine at all, but then again his hair is curly and a bit dry so it doesn't "swish".

Ah, I see what you mean. Thank you for pointing that out, Laylah. I guess its all in the head bobble, that makes a med-high ponytail "swish" or swing haha. I hadn't really thought of that until you mentioned it.

david
December 28th, 2010, 06:32 PM
I've heard, and overheard many females say that when a man wears his hair in a ponytail, it should be "low" to "very low". Which, is considered the "acceptable" standard of wear.


I used to think that way too, and I kind of still do. A high swishy ponytail always seems more of a girly thing to me than a low one. But after seeing a guy friend wear a medium-high half-tucked ponytail, I've changed my mind- it doesn't look feminine at all, but then again his hair is curly and a bit dry so it doesn't "swish".

Just saw this thread... yeah I have come across this way of thinking before. But I never liked the look of a low ponytail. I usually wear mine either in the middle or high, I have no problems with either. Always thought it was pretty cool when my tail swished around, lol. I couldn't care what people think, besides, I figured having long hair was breaking the norms anyway so I may as well forget about the "rule book".

triumphator!
December 28th, 2010, 08:02 PM
I've seen this! I think people associate high swingy ponytails with women. Do what you want, forget 'em :)

Bluegrass Babe
December 28th, 2010, 08:11 PM
I think that used to be the rule back in the day. Probably started with the bobbie sock crowd and cheer ponies. The bounce and sway just got associated with femininity.

When guys started wearing ponytails they I think they kept them low because it seemed more casual / functional and less like "styling" their hair. (Like a previous poster said - less fuss.)

But not now. More people are doing their own thing and more people are accepting that. I say just do what feels comfortable to you. God knows it gets hotter than the blue blazes here in the summer. Who wants hair sticking to their neck?! Especially when you are in that yellow chariot for hours at time!! ;)

kschr2004
December 28th, 2010, 08:32 PM
Most men that I've seen with long hair do the low ponytail or braid thing. But I say do what you feel comfortable with. :)

Of course, I love seeing long hair worn down too. ;)

luxepiggy
December 28th, 2010, 10:04 PM
Hehe . . . I actually always assumed it was just another example of women being more willing to suffer for the sake of appearance, along the same vein as high heels, makeup, etc. High ponytails give me headaches after a while - I only wear them when I want to look extra cute! Low ponytails are comfy and non-headache inducing, like flip-flops for your hair (^(oo)^)

grrlshapedthing
December 28th, 2010, 10:20 PM
in the movie the wrestler Micky Rourke wears his waist length hair up in a mid high mess bun and it always looked extremely masculine....

HintOfMint
December 29th, 2010, 12:51 AM
When one thinks of of "socially acceptable" long hair for men, the main reference one has is of colonial/Founding Fathers era type of long hair where the ponytails were tied low (from what I've seen). It's a reference thing. Nowadays, long hair on men is often seen as sloppy, lazy, rebellious, or hippie like. A low ponytail is really the only way to reference (in American culture) a time where long hair on men was respectable, kempt, and most importantly, masculine.

Is this fair or logical? NO, it's bull. But I'm guessing that's where the rule comes from.

And as a side note, men have many social constraints on their appearance, perhaps not as much as women, but certainly not a negligible amount either. And women (GENERALLY SPEAKING) can be very shallow when it comes to height. I'm sure women will leap in and say that they do not care about height, and I'm one of them. But I've met many many women who are unequivocal about never dating a tall man, more so than those who didn't care about height. Imagine how we would eviscerate a man who said the same thing about a zaftig lass. Just some food for thought.

Gilly
December 29th, 2010, 12:59 AM
^ LOL The Highlander :luke: I should just carry a sword around with me, so it "looks normal" :p



I could alway loan you my axe, that would complete the image nicely!!:cheese:

milagro
December 29th, 2010, 01:04 AM
I guess anything of an updo is still deemed as unusual for men, and a low pony is considered "no-do", just some sort of convenient way to keep long hair out of the way. Weird.
I say go for what's good for you :flower:

milagro
December 29th, 2010, 01:12 AM
When one thinks of of "socially acceptable" long hair for men, the main reference one has is of colonial/Founding Fathers era type of long hair where the ponytails were tied low (from what I've seen). It's a reference thing. Nowadays, long hair on men is often seen as sloppy, lazy, rebellious, or hippie like. A low ponytail is really the only way to reference (in American culture) a time where long hair on men was respectable, kempt, and most importantly, masculine.

Is this fair or logical? NO, it's bull. But I'm guessing that's where the rule comes from.

And as a side note, men have many social constraints on their appearance, perhaps not as much as women, but certainly not a negligible amount either. And women (GENERALLY SPEAKING) can be very shallow when it comes to height. I'm sure women will leap in and say that they do not care about height, and I'm one of them. But I've met many many women who are unequivocal about never dating a tall man, more so than those who didn't care about height. Imagine how we would eviscerate a man who said the same thing about a zaftig lass. Just some food for thought.

Great incite! I agree, in general men's style is still outliving the era of post- French revolution / XIX ctry (short hair, dull colors etc). If you look at the formal or business men's wear it is offspring of tail-coat and frock-coat from those times!

Sinisiew
December 29th, 2010, 02:33 AM
My boyfriend also wears his ponytail in the middle of the back of his head, just like I do and sometimes he parts his hair in "half" and makes a tail out of the upper half. I wouldn't say it's uncommon here, atleast not in our generation (we're both 31 years old) but I know he sometimes gets comments from colleagues who "jokingly" suggest he should cut his hair and wear a suit but then again the our minister of finance wears a long ponytail too (and he belongs to the conservative right-wing party!), I think I even saw a picture of him with a braid once. However he wears the traditionally "male" ponytail at the nape of his neck


The times they be a changing...

(Click here (http://www.google.se/imgres?imgurl=http://www.dn.se/polopoly_fs/1.941349.1251542457!images/106779825.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.dn.se/nyheter/valet2010/las-far-stod-av-m-ledning-1.941336&usg=__U5EYaOCoVIH2TSld8LiepxoX1uQ=&h=396&w=660&sz=72&hl=sv&start=55&zoom=1&tbnid=d75VysqepaBMSM:&tbnh=103&tbnw=172&prev=/images%3Fq%3Danders%2Bborg%26hl%3Dsv%26biw%3D1899% 26bih%3D872%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C798&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=758&vpy=369&dur=1539&hovh=174&hovw=290&tx=156&ty=114&ei=EgAbTaLMEcLsOejJqY0J&oei=BQAbTZWWFoa18QPIl_SCBw&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=55&ved=1t:429,r:26,s:55&biw=1899&bih=872) if you want to see an honest to God politician breaking the norm :-D)

bte
December 29th, 2010, 05:01 AM
It seems that there are people out there who insist on making a gender distinction out of something as fundamentally unisex as a ponytail! (Remember the late 1950s early 60s when they made girls' trousers which did up at the sides?).
Progress towards equality is made by ignoring thes pointless distinctions, so wear whatever is comfortable and which you like the look and feel of.

LaurieKeren
December 29th, 2010, 05:52 AM
If a man has confidence, he can rock ANY hairstyle! In my old age (lol), I'm starting to realize just how much our culture defines what a man or woman can look like, and just how arbitrary that all is. There is something incredibly sexy about a man who does what he wants (with his hair, clothes, etc.) without concern for whether it is masculine enough (or too feminine).

I think my first clue was when I watched "Rocky Horror Picture Show" for the first time. Yeah, I'm a total nerd, I didn't see the movie until I was almost 40. Tim Curry is totally sexy hot in drag! What?! It totally caused me to rethink my ideas of masculine and feminine.

keepmyhair
December 29th, 2010, 06:06 AM
. . . Because if there is, I do not follow the guidelines!

I've heard, and overheard many females say that when a man wears his hair in a ponytail, it should be "low" to "very low". Which, is considered the "acceptable" standard of wear.

I normally wear mine in the center of my head to distribute the weight. Sometimes I will pull it back just slightly center with my eye sight.

I wonder why that is? This is actually a common idea in the region, where I live. Has anyone else heard of this concept as well? Also, I wonder why this is such an important matter? I appreciate your thoughts, ideas, and opinions! Thanks!

I think most regions do have some unwritten thoughts about what is acceptable, but then there are people who go beyond those norms as well.

I think the norm exists because more men do not wear their hair in more adventurous styles (for fun or comfort) :-)

I started using bobby pins some time back to keep back the many strands of hair that still do not get into the ponytail, and believe me I get a lot of second looks.

Just do what you like. I think if more guys wear their hair the way they like, then these norms will (hopefully) cease to exist.

Good luck :-)

ohiofritty
December 29th, 2010, 08:29 AM
My hubby wears his ponytail in the middle of his head...it looks really good there I think! Also it seems to get less tangly than a low pony.
I'm trying to convince him to wear it in a bun or braid in public, to avoid tangles mostly...but he's not too keen on it so far.

autumn_aqua
December 29th, 2010, 10:44 AM
I don't see a lot of high ponytails on men in my area, but I do see some center ponytails, as well as tucked in ponytails that are bunlike, and I think they look fine.

I agree that it's silly how we perceive gender on where our ponytail is- I'm a woman, and I almost always wear a low pony at the nape. I feel silly and weird with a high pony swinging around and it just doesn't look right on me. I do admire a sleek high ponytail on women though, and if my hair could be sleek without straightening I would probably do it.

My ex-husband had thick wavy MBL hair that he usually wore down, and I can't tell you how many times it was assumed we were two women from behind. Even though he didn't have hips. :)

Jemoiselle
December 29th, 2010, 10:50 AM
I have found a person looks best in what he or she is most at home/themselves/comfy wearing! Above all other social standards, I have noticed there are always exceptions for people who are confident in what they are and how they look. We call these people trendsetters hehe. Does it apply to long hair too? I don't know, but all in all, I've noticed mid point male pony tails being the most attractive to me. But of course, I am only one person! And on top of that, confidence to me is more appealing than any hairstyle ever could be.